For some reason, as she packed her things, she had almost put on her Kevlar vest. Then, feeling foolish, she had put it away in her case.
“This is too scary,” she said when she told Johannes. “I´m totally spooked.”
“Well, I don´t think you need to worry in Paris. Just be careful.”
She hugged him and went off with Rummy to Strasbourg and the airport. Rummy headed off for London. Helen called Marie from Strasbourg, and let her know she was coming. She flew into Charles de Gaulle and took the RER into the city, trying to concentrate on what she would say to her colleagues. At the Place Dauphine, she sat down with Marie and Céci and told them all that had taken place at Freiburg.
“They´re going to come after us,” Céci wailed.
“No, Céci, they don´t even know about us,” Marie explained, but Céci remained upset and fearful.
“First of all, Interpol and the police have got this under control.” Helen said it, but wasn´t sure herself that it was true. “The reason I came here, instead of going straight home, is to let you know what happened before you hear it elsewhere, and to assure you that you are in no danger. It´s clearly me they are after, not you.
“But there´s another reason I came. I´ve decided that I want to move the atelier. I still need to have your support – your jobs are not at risk – but I want you closer to home, my home. I´ll probably keep this apartment; I can use it when I come to town. However, I want both of you to come to the south with me. Will you do that?”
“When is this to take place?” Marie asked.
“Not immediately, Marie. I think in a month or two – perhaps. It´s still kind of up in the air in my mind. I´m competing for another major project that will probably be in the south, and there are one or two smaller jobs on the horizon that you already know about – those private installations.
“The change really doesn´t depend on getting those jobs; I just haven´t completely decided to make the change yet, but I wanted you to know what I´m thinking. I think that´s only fair.”
Marie nodded her understanding.
“Where in the south?” Céci asked. “I don´t know the south. They speak strangely there.”
“If – when – I do this, the office will be in le Cap d´Agde in Herault. I have found a location quite close to my home, and there are people there who are congenial. I think you would like it there, both of you.”
Marie smiled. “Helen, you know that there is only myself and my mother for me to think about, and my mother is very happy where she is. I think there will be no problem for me when you are ready.”
“I´m not sure, Helen,” Céci said. “I don´t want to go so far away.”
“Thank you, Marie. You think about it, Céci. As for me, I´m going to go get a flight.” Helen gathered her things and headed back to Charles de Gaulle.
When she stepped into the RER at Châtelet, she unthinkingly chose a seat in the back of the car and found herself burrowing into the corner. ‘I´m making myself small,´ she thought. ‘I´m still frightened by what happened in Freiburg.´ The realization gave her further pause for thought – that brought her some solace.
They, whoever they were, were trying to kill her. There was no doubt of that. However, there wasn´t much chance they had followed her to Paris. At worst they might have thought she was going back to Montpellier, and the stop in Paris would have thrown them off. She sat up a little straighter.
Johannes had moved into the situation with speed and professional capability. That made her feel, somehow, more secure. He was watching over her like a hawk, though she knew that was as much because of his police responsibilities as because of his genuine affection for her. Nevertheless, that qualification only made her feel more secure. Johannes wasn´t just a protective lover. He was a professional doing his job on her behalf, as well.
‘That counts for a lot,´ she thought.
And, Rummy. ‘Rummy has been a rock for me. An absolute Gibraltar of loyalty and support.´ She looked out the window as the train pulled into the station at Charles de Gaulle. She gathered her things and went off toward her flight, setting her thoughts aside for the moment.
On the airplane to Montpellier, the lulling noise of the engines brought her back to her earlier thoughts.
‘I always respected Rummy´s faithfulness to Doris,´ she mused. ‘And he really is faithful, even though some would say she´s not. An almost forgotten song came to mind: ‘Always true to you, darling, in my fashion…´ She grinned involuntarily. ‘But, he also really cares about me. That´s the way he is, bless him. Dead loyal, and honest.´
She smiled at the flight attendant and accepted a bottle of water.
‘I´ve got to get this straight for me. With Theo, we both knew how each other felt; he knew I was faithful – I realize that now. I guess I assumed he had lovers on the road, but it seems as though his being out of contact had more to do with the illegals.
‘Now, I´ve got Sandy. Last night, I told him I love him, and I know I do.´ She took a drink from her plastic glass. ‘Last night, Rummy needed to be with Doris, even by telephone. I needed Sandy the same way.´
Her mind went on churning. ‘Ever since Theo died…” Her thoughts came to an abrupt halt, then resumed, ‘Ever since Theo was killed, I´ve been certain I could never sustain a relationship, so I avoided them, went from one man to another. But, now I know Theo was killed telling me he loved me, that he knew I loved him. Sandy made me see I was defining myself in sex alone, and that it´s not right. And now, I… Well, maybe it´s just that I´ve never accepted – not since Theo was killed – that it´s all right to be the way I am. That someone could love me as I am. I thought Theo had turned against me, but he hadn´t. Now, I´ve got Sandy and, in a different way, Rummy – and Doris, for god´s sake – who all take me whatever way I am. Johannes, too. They´re all just as much behind me – as loyal – as Theo was. I´m still the same person, even though I don´t have as many lovers as I used to. Well, that´s another thing.
‘Perhaps I´m making a mountain out of a molehill. Maybe I should just relax and enjoy this.´ That seemed to make sense, for the time being, at least. She settled in her seat, leaning her head against the window.
‘I just wish people would stop trying to kill me.´