Cease, foolish painters, Hercules to draw
With wooden club, inspiring man with awe;

A different club that here should adorn,
This god's most powerful weapon is the horn;
No mightier spear than that the champion hurls,
With which one night he fucked three score of girls!

A crowd of grave enquirers made resort,
To where the learned doctors held their court;
And asked them who had been that serpent brute,
Which tempted mother Eve to eat the fruit?

"Ye silly men," the sages did reply,
"Why do you waste your time and ours, oh, why?

Eve's tempting snake was but a long and thick,
Great, knotty, ruddy, massy, mighty prick!"

Always, except on Sabbath days,
Nell with her busy needle plays;
But not the milliner's needle, Miss!

No, 'tis the sailor's needle, dear!
That shows the mariner how to steer
Right through the ocean of her piss.