Air - "There was a Little Man."

Respected near and far,
There was a noble Marquis, and Wallsend was the title that he bore, bore, bore,

Who left his brother-swells
To follow little girls,
And tell 'em not to do it any more, more, more.

Said he: "A man's affair
Isn't meant to go in there!"
And his Lordship put his finger on the spot, spot, spot;

But the wicked girls appalled
The nobleman, and called
On God to paralyse each limb they'd got, got, got.

"Your private parts, or cunny,
Should not be let for money,
They're only meant to pee with," did he preach, preach preach,

His ears he almost doubted,
When the little creatures shouted:
"God blind us into bloody corpses, each, each, each!"

"You always should endeavour
To stop a young man ever
On any grounds from creeping up behind, hind, hind."

And this noble thought he dreamed,
When the little creatures screamed:
"God strike us deaf, lame, dumb and blind, blind, blind!"

"You dissembling, bleeding, rotten,
Bloody, cankered, misbegotten
Lump of shit, rubbed over with a little spend, spend, spend!"

The little children cried,
For a cockstand they espied
Within the noble breeches of their friend, friend, friend.

They were tearing down his breeches,
And his bitter cries and screeches,
And his blushes would have melted hearts of snow, snow, snow.

And the little creatures found,
When they dragged him to the ground,
That, while lecturing, he'd shot his noble roe, roe, roe.