Chapter 1
We've never actually talked about it, but my dad was an adulterer. My half-sister Rowan was born five weeks after me, but Dad was married to her mom first. As far as Rowan and I could figure, he left her after she became pregnant to marry my mom before I was born. Don't get me wrong - my dad was a great guy and he loved both of us plenty. I just could never understand growing up why his ex-wife still liked him enough to let Rowan spend the summers with us. Maybe it was about money. I always got the impression that things were tight for them. Rowan always left our place at the end of the summer with new clothes and supplies, ready for a new school year.
We always got along. Maybe full-time siblings - going to the same school and living in the same house year-round - get on each other's nerves, but Rowan and I only shared summers, so we always wanted to make the most of it. The rest of the year we relied on letters; or, on birthdays, brief long-distance phone calls.
Even a year after Grandma died, we still visited the retirement home sometimes. Dad said it was good for us to hear the stories of another generation, and Grandma had always told us that any visitor, family or not, always cheered up the residents. I was really into colored pencils at the time, and I had just given Mrs. Rivest a sketch of a golden retriever when she made a request: "Jamie, dear, thank you so much! Such a kind young man! But would you mind doing a drawing of your sister for me? She's such a lovely girl, and you draw so well."
It wasn't until I started to draw her that I noticed that Rowan's body - now twelve years old - had changed since the summer before. The horizontal lines of her shirts had always been parallel, but now they danced with perspective, revealing a more complex shape to her body. Her shorts, too, were no longer the rectangular things of a child, but rather, trapezoids, narrow at the waist. That day her curly black hair was held back by a red bandana covering the top of her head. She had earrings, too - little gold studs that I had never noticed before. Confident curiosity reached out from green eyes behind rectangular gray glasses.
It took me days to finish that first drawing. By the time I was done, Rowan had become my favorite art subject.
Jack's house was the de facto summer hangout for all of the kids our age. He had a pool table, pinball machine, volleyball net, and every board game known to man. His mom was always around, happy to fix snacks or meals or drive us where ever we wanted to go.
"You don't think I can do it, do you?" Rowan asked out of nowhere. Six of us were on the seventh hole at the miniature golf course. She had a challenging but doable uphill bank shot into the hole ahead of her.
"Not a chance." I gave her a charming smile to make sure she knew that my assessment was all in fun.
"Let's make a bet," she challenged. "If I sink this on the next stroke, I win. Whoever loses has to kiss whatever five people the winner chooses."
Tammy was the only other girl with us at mini-golf. Jack, Harrison, and Teddy were the only other boys. There were some teenagers around, and parents with young kids, but presumably none of them counted.
"There are too few of us," I protested.
She looked at me with her all-the-answers face. "It doesn't have to be today - no expiration. And it can be the same person more than once."
In addition to Tammy, we saw Kit and Julia regularly during the week. I'd never kissed anyone before, but the idea of having to kiss any of them - totally against my will, of course - was quite appealing to me. Of course, I was more likely to win than lose, but the interest with which the other boys were watching us told me that some good could come of that too.
"Yeah, okay - you're on. Make your shot," I told her.
Her ball ended up five inches to the right of the hole. She shrugged and looked at me, waiting. I made a decision at random. "Harrison," I said, pointing.
Harrison was as stiff as a board, with his arms glued at his sides. Rowan walked up to him, arms behind her back, and tilted her head down to meet his face. For about one second, their lips met. It was casual and innocent - nothing more than you'd see on a mouthwash commercial on TV, but it was also a big deal. As far as I knew, that was the first kiss in the whole neighborhood among kids our age.
I decided to keep everyone waiting for a while for the next one. That suited Rowan just fine - she led us through the remaining holes like a general leading her troops. Teddy and Jack made quiet requests with their eyes behind her back, but I grinned and shook my head, enjoying the strange power I had lucked into.
In the station wagon leaving mini-golf I pointed at Jack, sitting beside Rowan. She smiled at him for a moment and placed a hand on his shoulder before leaning across him and giving him an adolescent peck. His hands were in his lap hiding a boner for the rest of the drive.
I got two phone calls that night volunteering. Ben pulled me into a private conversation the next day at Jack's to tell me how cool both my sister and I were.
I strung the rest out over a couple of days. Rowan outwardly paid her debt stoically, but it was clear that she approved of how I handled it. And then, after the five kisses were used up, it stopped. I secretly hoped that she would challenge me to a bet again - or someone would pick up the ball and run with it - but none of us had the nerve.
Chapter 2
Rowan didn't stay with us the next summer. The official reason was that she was going to archery camp, but that was only for five weeks. The real reason, Rowan hinted in her letters, was her stepdad's insecurity. Something in the adult world had challenged his sense of manhood, and he'd responded by tightening his grip on what was "his".
We were fourteen the next time she came to live with us. She was a girl by then. Not a girl like just another kid but with long hair. Rather, a whole different type of creature from us boys - intriguing and ineffable.
Two weeks after her arrival, Rowan, Ben, Teddy and I were loitering in a half-finished construction site. It was clearly meant to be a commercial building of some sort, but little more than the frame was built. There were all sorts of pits, piles of bricks, and unused machines lying around. We were taking turns, propping up cans and throwing rocks at them from a challenging distance.
"Five kiss bet," Rowan proposed after we'd reset the cans and moved the throwing line back a few feet. "Three throws, three knockdowns." It was ambitious, but not unreasonable. I was surprised that she was resurrecting her game from so long before, but I figured win or lose, it would make for an interesting week.
"You're on. Show me what you've got," I told her. She knocked down one can and grazed another.
"I lose," she said, daring me to administer her punishment.
I pointed at Ben. Instead of walking up and giving him a peck on the lips, she grabbed his sleeve and pulled him off into a private nook. Teddy and I mostly stared at the path they had disappeared into, expecting them to return quickly. As the seconds wore on, the wait became awkward. Eventually, Teddy gave me a look that said whatever was happening in there, he wanted a turn.
It was probably really only two minutes, but it seemed like longer. As Rowan and Ben walked back toward us, Teddy moved around in front of me to remind me that he wanted a turn. When they got close I pointed to Teddy, and then she disappeared with him instead.
I leveled a questioning gaze at Ben.
Ben sized me up, deciding whether he should say anything. He was grinning like an idiot, full of energy. He obviously wanted to tell me. I raised my hands in question.
"Second base!" He bragged.
"You felt up my sister?" I asked. I feigned disbelief, but that was mostly to cover for feelings that I couldn't make sense of. "No way," I added.
"I'm serious!" He insisted. "She licked her lips and moved like she was going to kiss me, but then she stopped and took off her glasses. Did you know she has really pretty eyes? So then we kissed, and we kept kissing! We were making out, you know?
He kept talking - I guess to convince me - and for some reason, I kept listening. "She kept moving - like positioning her body - and so, you know, I put my hand on her side - you know, like above her hip? But then she grabbed my hand and moved it up to her tit! Amazing! I mean, she had her clothes on, but still, I got to squeeze them! She took a step back so I could use both hands. She leaned against the wall and I kissed her and squeezed her boobs for like a minute! When we stopped, her shirt was wrinkled."
Rowan brought Teddy back after about the same amount of time. When I got a chance to interrogate him alone all he would tell me was, "It was a very good kiss." I was pretty sure he got some boob too.
I was mad and I didn't really understand why. I guess everyone picked up on that. I didn't give out any more of Rowan's "kisses", and nobody asked, beyond an oblique, "So I heard you made that kissing bet again." I was sure everyone had heard about what had happened with Ben and Teddy though. Some of the guys tried to get Rowan alone, but she wouldn't go with them. Ben asked her on a date but she politely refused.
Weeks went on and it was basically forgotten. Then one day Teddy's dog got hit by a car. He was really broken up. A bunch of us were playing games in Jack's basement; Teddy was trying to have fun with us, but he just didn't have the spirit. I told my sister, "I think you should give him a kiss to cheer him up."
She looked at me like this was something serious. "So, you're calling in number three, then?"
"Yeah, I guess I am."
So it was back on. Ben told me he'd give me his bike for the two remaining kisses. I almost hit him.
Kit was the girliest girl in the neighborhood. Her honey hair always hung down in elegant bouncy spirals. I was maybe a little more comfortable with her than the other neighborhood girls: she had been the target of ungentlemanly attention a few times in recent years, so I had gotten in a few scraps as a surrogate big brother. She found me during a neighborhood ice cream social that spanned two blocks. I was under a tree sipping a root beer float. She was in a pretty blue and white dress and she seemed to be going out of her way to keep away from ice cream.
"You've still got two of Rowan's kisses to give away, huh?" She asked.
"Yup," I said, taking another sip.
She feigned a laugh. "Hey, what do you think she'd say if you told her to kiss someone inappropriate?"
"What, like a creepy old molester?" I asked. "Or a horse?"
"Yeah, like that," she said nervously.
"I don't know. I mean, I wouldn't ever ask her to do something like that," I explained.
She shook her head. "Right. Of course you wouldn't. You're a good brother. You wouldn't... make her..." As she spoke she grew increasingly nervous. Her cheeks flushed and she wouldn't look me in the eye. She seemed to become stuck, unable to say what she was trying so hard to say, but unable to break free.
"Kit?" I said gently. I touched her arm and tried to capture her attention, but she wouldn't look at me. She wrung her hands, tortured by the question she couldn't ask.
I took a guess. "I would never... make her kiss a girl?"
Kit looked at me with vulnerable eyes, biting her lip, shaking, and crying. She nodded.
"I could do that," I told her soothingly. "I don't know if she'd agree to it, but I know she'd be understanding about it. Confidential." Kit's breathing seemed to even out. "I'll ask her. Carefully," I said. "Is that okay with you?"
Kit started crying even more, and she lunged at me into a hug, but she was smiling. I barely had time to move my mug out of her path.
That night at home in Rowan's bedroom I told her about my conversation with Kit. She listened quietly without judgment like I knew she would. For most of our peers, homosexuals were the punchlines of jokes, but Dad had taught us to see them as real people. A moment later she was in the kitchen dialing up Kit's house. "Kit? Hey. Jamie made a decision about number four. Do you think I could come over tomorrow?"
Kit found me the following evening in our backyard. Rowan went inside the house when she saw her coming. Kit looked as happy as I'd ever seen her.
She let me speak first. "So... good outcome?" We sat down on the picnic table bench.
She still had a touch of the previous day's nervousness. "I... Not a perfect outcome. But really, yes. Yes, a good outcome." I waited to see if she wanted to say more. "She's... not like me. My heart is sort of broken, but soaring through the clouds, too. That probably doesn't make any sense. I wanted so badly for her to fall in love with me. She didn't, but she helped me learn things about myself."
I tried to understand, but I knew I was falling short. "All that from a kiss?" I asked.
Her face went red, but slowly she answered: "I'm sure you've heard that Rowan has been doing more than just kissing."
"Well, yeah, with guys...," I stammered. "I don't really know how that works with two girls."
Still blushing, cautiously, she asked, "Should I tell you? About us?" I shrugged but inside I was bursting with curiosity, and it probably showed.
"Before we even started, we took off our blouses. We knelt face to face on my bed in our bras. I reached out and touched her arm. No big deal, right? Just an arm. Except it was a big deal! It was such a big deal! She touched my shoulder, and then I put my hand on her side. Completely mundane contact was suddenly magical and intense! We inched closer and then our lips met, and our hands moved to each others' backs. I thought I would explode - from joy and shame and I don't even know what. And then suddenly I was deathly afraid of disappointing her - disgusting her. But then she sighed - a happy sigh. I couldn't hear it, but I felt it in her chest with my hands and my chest, and I knew it was all good."
She paused, giving me a chance to stop her, but I didn't. "We lay down on our sides, face to face, and kissed some more. It was nice. Then she rolled onto her back. She let me touch her stomach and her chest. And yes, her boobs. And I probably liked it just as much as Teddy and Ben had. It was heaven."
"It sounds like maybe she is like you," I observed.
Kit shook her head. "For her it a kindness. A new experience, maybe, but mostly she was being a friend. For me it was... I can't even begin to describe it. It was stepping through a door that I'd been peeking through my whole life. Now I know for sure, and that's such a relief. I like girls."
She giggled. "I can't believe I just said that out loud."
She took a moment of self-congratulation while I tried to figure out what it all meant: for Kit and me, for Kit and Rowan, for Rowan and anyone else.
After a moment, she gave me a penetrating look. "We talked a lot, you know. She understands much more than I would have guessed about what it's like to have a crush on someone you're not allowed to."
We sat in silence for a moment while I tried to make sense of her comment. "So," she said finally, "any idea what you're going to do with the fifth kiss?"
I shrugged. "No clue."
"Well, give it some hard thought," she said. Her eyes sparkled with mystery. She stood up. "Everyone's right you know, Jamie. You're a really swell guy. She's lucky to have a man like you in her life." She kissed me on the cheek and walked off.
I tried for a few days to decipher Kit's cryptic remarks, but nothing I came up with made any sense.
One night I was brushing my teeth before bed. Rowan appeared in the bathroom doorway in her robe, waiting for me to be done with the sink. Her hair was loose, and her glasses were missing, but they had left little indentations on her nose to claim their territory.
"I'll be going home soon," she said, a little melancholy. I nodded with as much of a frown as the toothbrush allowed. "I guess that fifth kiss will have to wait until next year."
I finished brushing and spat into the sink. "Yeah, I guess so," I said, not knowing what else to say. I rinsed my brush and moved into the hallway to make room. For some reason, I stayed there watching her. She examined her eyebrows in the mirror briefly before wetting her toothbrush and squeezing paste onto it.
"Have you ever kissed anyone?" She asked casually. I shook my head. "Huh," she followed with a shrug and then began brushing her teeth.
I went back to my room. Surely she hadn't meant to put the idea in my head - it was wrong. I was reading signs that weren't really there. My body filled with anxiety, but also anticipation - possibility. Was this actually something that could happen? Was she telling me that it could happen? I heard her bedroom door close and the next thing I knew, I was in the hall, knocking on it.
"Yeah?" She answered.
I opened the door but didn't dare step in. My heart began to race, as much at the idea that she might say yes as no. "Me," I told her. "I want the fifth kiss to be me."
She smiled like I had paid her the greatest compliment she'd ever received. She patted the bed next to where she was sitting. I entered, shutting the door behind me, and sat down, trying to steady my breathing.
My sister Rowan snuggled into my arm and gave me a moment to relax before presenting her lips to me. I kissed her, connecting with her in a brand new way. It felt natural - nice. It seemed impossible that something touching my lips could feel so good. We shifted positions, moving our bodies closer. One of her arms was around my back but the other was hanging on my far shoulder, supporting her while she leaned into me. This kiss was not going to end any time soon.
She freed her hands long enough to tug at the lapel of her robe, freeing some slack from her belt. As our faces moved around each other, wet lips pressing together, I saw something in the corner of my eye. Her robe was open enough to reveal the bare skin of her chest just below the collar, but also, a part of one of her bare breasts. Indecision thundered in my mind as a hundred unanswerable questions clashed. But then I did it: I reached into her robe and my fingertips touched her private place.
Rowan gasped but in the best way. My fingers explored the forbidden shape, enjoying her impossibly soft skin. I found her nipple but quickly learned to approach it gently and sparingly. I fit the whole breast in my hand and squeezed, fascinated by the springy suppleness. My sister cooed and gasped as I continued to make my discoveries.
When we stopped kissing - I guess by some subconscious agreement - Rowan's face was bright red and she was hyperventilating. For as amazing and new as this was to me, it hadn't occurred to me that she might be out of her element too. But she was smiling at me the way I'd always hoped a girl would. We were both at a loss for words, so eventually I stood up, but I leaned down to give her one more quick kiss before I left. I lay on my bed and my mind exploded into a million pieces.
Chapter 3
Rowan and I didn't talk about the kiss in the two days before she left, but we smiled at each other a lot. At the time I was sure that it really had meant something to both of us. But in the months that she was gone, my conviction faded. Events rewrote themselves in my mind until I was convinced that Rowan's kiss had been "a kindness" like it had been for Kit. She didn't really have the same secret feelings that I did.
High school began, and boys and girls started dating. I was never sure how much stock to put in the guys' stories about what they'd done and with whom. The girls, of course, revealed nothing. Harrison and Jack both talked about wanting to date Rowan next summer if they didn't have girlfriends by then. She was amused but flattered when I wrote her about that. Ben had some less polite predictions about what Rowan would be doing over the summer - with him and everyone else. I put him in his place, but I didn't write her about that.
When summer began again, we were fifteen, and Rowan's transformation into a teenage girl was complete. She wore makeup now, and bangles and rings, and she frequently wore skirts or dresses. Her hair was rarely loose - one day held back by a decorative pin, maybe, and the next done in a bun. The other girls had mostly stopped hanging out at Jack's house. Sometimes Rowan went with them to whatever mysterious places girls went, but sometimes she hung around with us guys.
I was doing a sketch of her while she played pool. She was in a blue circle skirt that ended just below her knees, and a white blouse. Her long curly black hair was held back by a headband that matched the skirt. She walked up to me while Jack was racking the balls for the next game.
"Five kisses says I win this game," she proposed, speaking softly enough that only I could hear. She looked playful and eager, so I agreed.
Minutes later, she lost the game by scratching on the eight-ball. She returned to me, smiling. With her arms behind her back and with the fullness of her skirt, her body looked sort of like an hourglass. "I guess I lost the bet," she said happily. She seemed to be waiting to be commanded.
"I guess so," I agreed. "Okay, um, Jack," I said, pointing at her victorious opponent.
Rowan's eyes went wide with surprise and her mouth opened, but no sound came out. Then her eyes narrowed into a venomous glare. She turned on her heel, took Jack by the hand, and led him upstairs. I spent the next several minutes berating myself for whatever mistake I had just made.
When they returned to the basement, Rowan stayed a few feet up on the stairs. "Four more kisses to go," she announced to the room, surprising everyone. "I'm going to go shopping. See you guys next time!" Her skirt twirled as she spun and left.
All attention was on Jack. "You were up there making out with her?" Harrison asked. "What happened?"
Jack looked uncomfortable - especially after he glanced at me. "Yeah, we kissed," he said dismissively. "It was really good."
"Yeah, but you got to feel her tits, right?" Ben asked, excited at the idea. "Or is she doing more than that now? Did you get to finger her?"
Jack glanced at me nervously again before answering. "We had a nice time together. It's not appropriate to say more than that. I'm going to go to my bedroom and read by myself. Hang out here as long as you'd like."
Rowan was mad at me, although I didn't understand why. Thinking about what she and Jack might have done was driving me crazy. I went home and started on some yard work to distract myself. When a car arrived to drop her off, she went straight inside without looking at me - obviously still mad. Kit's face appeared in the car window as it drove off giving me an accusatory glare.
Rowan kept to herself until dinner, which was an unusually silent affair. Just as we finished, the doorbell rang, with Jack standing there in slacks and a dress shirt, and holding a bouquet of roses.
She went outside with him. I caught glimpses through the window. He was obviously showing a romantic interest in her, and she was obviously trying to let him down easy. He seemed confused and then it seemed like they were arguing. After what seemed to be a dispute over who would keep the flowers, Rowan came inside, holding the flowers at arm's length, unsure what to do with them.
"What was that about?" I asked. My parents weren't in the room. This was pretty much the first chance I'd had to even talk to her.
She looked at me with impatience and contempt. "Why don't you ask him?" She dared me.
I chased after Jack. "What's going on?" I asked, matching his stride beside him.
"Your sister is sending some seriously mixed signals!" He vented.
"Like what?" I asked.
"Earlier today in my bedroom? The kiss?" He said. Some of his anger seemed directed at me. "The guys were right - it was more than just kissing. I thought that meant something. So I came here to ask her out properly."
"And she wasn't interested?" I asked.
"No!" He spat. "Not even a bit. Apparently, what she did with me was only because she was angry with you - whatever that means!" He took a few deep breaths. "She wasn't even going to keep the flowers."
"What did she do with you?" I asked.
Jack stopped walking and looked me in the face. "You don't want to know."
I hated myself for asking, but it was my only clue about why Rowan was upset. "Tell me."
Jack sighed. "She gave me a hand job," he told me. "It started as kissing, sitting together on the edge of my bed. She was sort of hanging on me, leaning into me. She put her leg across my lap, and so obviously she could feel how excited I was. So then she removed her leg and started pulling down my pants. The next thing I knew, her hand was on my dick. She didn't seem to know what to do with it at first, but it didn't matter - just being touched like that by somebody else - somebody you really like. It was amazing."
We started walking again. "She started jerking it. I can't tell you how good that felt. Not just physically, but, I don't know, trusting another person with control over you like that. Before long she really had it figured out. And we were kissing, but I think I forgot to breathe. So instead of kissing me, she rubbed her cheek against mine, jerking me faster. She started kissing me again, and then she sucked my lower lip into her mouth and nibbled at it. I was done. I exploded all over the wall, the carpet, my pants, her hand. When she figured out what was going on she watched it like it was the most amazing thing."
"Huh," I said in answer. "I'm sorry she turned you down."
He sighed. "In hindsight, I guess it shouldn't have been a surprise," he observed. "Right after it happened, while we were cleaning up the mess, she told me, 'It's okay if you tell Jamie about this.' I think she wanted me to tell you. I don't know what's going on with her. Maybe she wants you to kick my ass to defend her honor or something."
"I don't understand either," I told him. "But we're cool, right?"
"Yeah."
Maybe I had been truthful at the moment when I told Jack that I didn't understand, but I had definitely figured it out by the time I got back home. I knocked on Rowan's bedroom door and she told me to come in. She was sitting cross-legged on her bed with a nature magazine in front of her. Her eyes were full of distrust.
"I'm sorry," I told her. "I was stupid. I didn't believe..."
Her expression softened. She looked vulnerable and hopeful. "But you believe now?"
"Yeah." We looked at each other for a few seconds. Our eyes said things to each other that we could never say out loud.
I paced. Jack's flowers were in a vase on Rowan's dresser. "They look nice," I said standing in front of them.
She frowned. "I guess it's kind of an insult to refuse them, huh?" She commented, full of regret.
"I guess so," I agreed.
"So... when the time comes, you'll do better with kiss number two?" She asked. She didn't seem mad anymore.
I smiled and she smiled back. I crawled onto her bed, approaching her. She kept smiling at me invitingly. But then, just when I reached out to touch her face, she tumbled away. "Not here," she said.
She led me into the bathroom. Mom and Dad were home, but they were watching TV downstairs, so they wouldn't be a problem. We both sat on the edge of the bathtub and she grabbed my face and kissed me like I was her boyfriend. I was happy with just that; I honestly didn't think about anything more. But after a few seconds, she stopped and tugged on my pant leg. "All the way off," she said.
I took off my pants and set them aside. Rowan began rubbing my junk, eventually guiding my cock out of my boxers. She glanced at the floor in front of me as if planning a mini-golf shot, and then began to slowly jerk me off. She had chosen where to sit with care: a long stretch of nothing but tile floor in front of me, and past that a tile wall.
"There are easier ways to deal with the mess," I volunteered.
"I know. But I want to see it," she said. There was a warmth in her voice that told me I wasn't just a science experiment. She kept her glasses on while we kissed some more.
Slowly and steadily she tugged the skin of my cock forward and back. Her hand felt warm and strong, but small. Somehow her hand felt so much better than mine ever had. The only sounds were the smacking of our lips and a faint jingle from the wire and bead bracelets on her wrist.
She sped up and I groaned. My sister was going to make me come. She wanted a show, so I was determined to hold it as long as I could - let the pressure build until I couldn't contain it. Her lips left mine and pecked at my cheek and jaw. In a weird way that felt like an even greater intimacy.
I groaned again - I couldn't help it. I sounded like the living dead. "Shh!" She whispered with a giggle.
She squeezed my dick and jerked harder and faster. Her finger brushed my crown on every stroke. I tightened up as hard as I could and moaned louder. "I can't hold it," I whined apologetically.
She stopped kissing me and we both watched my climax. It was like a fireworks show coming out of my dick. I painted lines far across the floor - lots of them - before finally dribbling onto her still active hand. I groaned again feeling empty, tired, and high.
She shook her head. "I can't believe boys can do that any time they want."
We both grinned like idiots throughout dinner. My mom and dad knew we had a secret, but they didn't pry. I went to bed that night, thinking of all the things I wanted to spend the summer doing to my sister. I wasn't sure she'd let me, and I wasn't sure I'd have the nerve to ask, but I allowed myself to dare think of them.
Dad got a phone call the next morning during breakfast, and then he put Rowan on. It was clearly bad news. She had to go back to St. Louis right away. Her stepdad lost his job and had to go back to trucking, so Rowan needed to be there to help look after her little sister. It was sort of hard to avoid seeing it as divine punishment.
Chapter 4
Summer dragged on painfully. We wrote letters. Rowan got back into archery, and she sent me some photos, which I then sketched. Then school started. She asked if I had a date for Homecoming. I told her I was going to ask Kit.
I found myself thinking of Rowan as my girlfriend sometimes, and then swiftly chastised myself. Some kissing and a little touching, I told myself, was merely bending the boundaries of decency. That much was okay, as long as we were careful, but we could never do more than that. We could never "date". And we certainly could never do the things that teenage boys and girls do when they're dating. We would exercise restraint.
Dad convinced Rowan's mom to let us have her for Thanksgiving. Uncle Patrick and his roommate Hugh - whom we also had called uncle for as long as I could remember - were given my bedroom, so I was on the couch in the living room. Rowan was sharing her bedroom with Aunt Barb. It seemed like we would never get a moment alone.
Thanksgiving night I woke up to the sound of the kitchen faucet. When Rowan saw that I was awake she sat down next to me with a glass of water in hand. "So...," she said without a plan. "Did Kit put out?"
"Nah, not even a kiss," I answered. "I must be unlucky. I hear she'll go to second base with someone she likes enough."
"Oh, you heard that did you?" She accused playfully. If she hadn't had a glass in her hands I'm sure she would have tickled me.
Her hair was down but she had her glasses. She was wearing a nightshirt that ended tantalizingly high on her thighs, and I couldn't stop wondering whether there was anything underneath. Her foot nudged and then caressed mine.
I looked around like a spy, assessing all of the ways we could be observed. "Have you seen the garage?" I asked with hammy cunning.
She spoke in the stiff parody of espionage cliches: "Why no, Jamie, I have not seen the garage. I am very interested to see this garage of which you speak."
Once inside the garage, I positioned a variety of brooms and buckets in the way of the door to give us a warning if anyone approached. "Getting caught would be really bad," I remarked while I worked.
Rowan giggled. "Oh, do you think so?"
We ended up in the jump seat of the station wagon, her straddling my legs and facing me. "So, kiss number three?" She asked, but she was already grinding into my junk. I was getting hard and she was feeling it.
"Yeah," I said, getting lost in the feeling.
"Yeah," she echoed, mocking me with her dopy male-voice affectation. But then pure affection flashed on her face, and she pounced on my lips.
She pulled up the front of her nightshirt so that it was just her panties rubbing against my sweatpants. She kept wiggling and grinding, looking for the perfect fit, and she found it, gnashing my hard dick between her folds to escalate our feelings. We both moaned into each other's mouths. I hoped she would come.
Her nightshirt's buttons only went halfway down from her collar. After opening them up and pulling on one shoulder, I managed to free Rowan's right breast - my sister's tit, a respectable handful of sweater meat. I squeezed it and she cried with need. I inched my thumb close to her nipple, moving in little circles and she went mad. Her hips were smashing into mine furiously, desperately fighting for that little bit more she needed for release. She stopped kissing me; she looked at me with a sort of open-mouthed amazement. Then she closed her eyes, bit her lip, and whined, dry-humping me like a beast.
I couldn't help it. I was too turned on and she had been rubbing me too vigorously. I made a sticky wet mess inside my sweatpants, and I started to go soft.
"No...," she muttered forlornly, with suddenly less substance to grind on.
"I'm sorry," I begged her.
She kept mashing her groin against mine, but it wouldn't work anymore - the magical fit was gone. I couldn't leave it like that. I moved her, laying her on her back on the seat while I knelt beside her. I put my hand on her panties. They were as wet as if she'd been swimming. I moved my hand ignorantly, trying to reignite her spark.
"Show me," I asked. She put her hand on mine and taught me what she needed: light vigorous tugs near the top, sometimes circles, sometimes back and forth. She began to moan again.
I approached her breast with my mouth. She could feel my breath and it excited her. I kissed it, just outside the areola. Her legs were no longer under her command: they wobbled and flexed, clenching and kicking at the wagon windows.
"Harder," she commanded. I dug my fingers into her soaked panties, shaking my hand as violently as I could. Her needy whine returned. When I sucked her nipple into my mouth she exploded. Her glasses fell off and she twitched with orgasm. Eventually, she put her hand on mine to stop it and nudged my head away from her breast.
We sat there, holding each other's hands, not saying anything for minutes. Even as we returned to the house we stayed silent. We just lobbed goofy grins at each other over and over until we parted ways on the steps, risking one quick inside-the-house kiss.
On the day after Thanksgiving, we tried to convince the family to go off on their day of errands and sales without us, but they wouldn't have it. Aunt Barb insisted on spoiling Rowan with some new clothes, and Dad was going to need my help loading some home renovation supplies. We did, however, stop at the movie theater. Rowan and I chose a different movie than the rest of the family, of course, and there, anonymous in the crowded theater, we had our first "date". It was just a little kissing during the dark parts of the previews, and hand-holding the rest of the time, but it was special to us.
Aunt Barb left that evening,, so Rowan had a bedroom to herself. "Sneak in when it's safe," she told me. "Wake me if I'm asleep."
So late at night, long after everyone had gone to bed, I crept into my sister's bedroom, not daring to knock or turn on a light. Luckily, there was some moonlight shining through the window.
She was curled up on her side under a blanket, sleeping. My first thought was to shake her shoulder, but the shape of her butt and legs under the covers put wicked thoughts in my mind. I wasn't sure if she would actually enjoy being awakened the way I planned, but I was confident that she'd respect the attempt.
The blanket came off, but she didn't stir. I peeled her panties all the way down the lengths of her smooth legs. No reaction. When I rotated her hips to open her legs, she fought me a little, ending in a compromise where her hips were flat on the bed but her upper body was still tilted to the side, hugging a pillow.
Actual girl pussy - my beloved sister's pussy. I'd seen beaver shots a few times in the past, but not enough to prepare me for the complexities before me. Thankfully, she didn't have a wild muff - it was neat, trimmed like a Playmate's. I hoped that I could figure out what I needed to. When older guys talked, they never gave specifics. All I knew was that girls liked it when you used your mouth.
The taste was something new, but certainly tolerable. When I found the hole deep into her womb, I did what I thought was the sensible thing, and tried to fuck it with my tongue. I'd never realized just how little of my tongue could actually extend outside my mouth. I was sure I would disappoint her if she even noticed at all. And yet, soft happy murmurs escaped Rowan's mouth, and her juices flowed more freely, so I was determined to carry on.
I found a routine, tongue-fucking her, where she seemed to respond a little with every thrust. I kept it up, but my tongue and jaw got sore. At one point I took an unintended break, but her tiny moans continued. It was my nose, not my tongue, that was getting the job done: it had been bumping near her little hard button at the top all that time - the place she had taught me to rub the night before. Learning this, I applied my nose more carefully, and her sounds became stronger, if not louder. By the time I put my mouth there, it was unmistakably working.
I kept at it, learning from her sounds and the squirming of her hips. Her back was flat on the bed now and she was squeezing a pillow in front of her chest hard enough to risk ripping it open. Her voice became a hushed siren, rising and falling, while she squirmed under my tongue. Her hips shook. Her hand darted out and grabbed a fist full of my hair, squeezing tightly. Then she went quiet except for gasping, and her hand relaxed.
I kept going, figuring she'd tell me when to stop.
"Huh-ahhh, ahhh. Jamie? Eh!"
"Yeah?" I answered without breaking my rhythm.
"I'm... I'm yours."
We kept at it and her excitement rose and fell in waves. Near the end every time she peaked, she bit her wrist to keep herself quiet. Finally, she asked me to stop. When I moved up beside her face to face, she was crying.
"Are you okay?" I asked.
"You were perfect. You've always been perfect," she said cryptically. I didn't understand so I just touched her arm until she fell asleep.
Rowan's return ticket to St. Louis was the next day. Mom and Dad had errands to run, and uncles Hugh and Patrick would be leaving, so we had some hope of an empty house together. Mom said she would come back at 11:00 to pick Rowan up, but Mom was always late for everything. We watched the minutes tick away while our uncles repeatedly dawdled, hugged us goodbye, and then found yet more distractions to keep them.
It was 10:35 when we finally had the house to ourselves. We didn't even talk about it - we both just somehow knew the plan: Go to my parents' bedroom, take off all our clothes, lay down some towels, and explore.
It was the first time I really had a good chance to play with her breasts. I did everything I could think of with them. Sometimes she was amused but other times it obviously turned her on. After considerable groping, I started kissing her neck, but her face was too irresistible.
"I'm ready to claim another one of those kisses you owe me," I told her. "I think this is... number five?"
"Oh, well, yeah," she countered. "Obviously that's the only reason I'm letting you do this!" She winked.
She made her way, while we sucked face, to lie on top of me. Her whole body was pressing down on mine, and she closed her legs around my throbbing eager cock. It was plenty slick in there, sliding along her gash tucked between her thighs. She writhed experimentally. I was in heaven: my dick had never felt anything like that. As she moved my dick in and out of her improvised grip, I couldn't help thinking how close to the prize it was. Just one little adjustment and my cock would be inside her pussy. We would be fucking.
As if reading my mind she said, "We can't put it in." Unsaid, but I think, implied, was "ever."
"I know," I said with a frown.
For a moment the mood was ruined. But then Rowan brought it back. "Maybe you should be on top?"
We repositioned. She kept her legs together tight. I thrust my cock between them, and I pumped her. My butt was going up and down and my cock was being rubbed like never before. It was rubbing her right, too, because soon she was moaning, and for once not holding back. Her hands frantically explored my arms and shoulders, feeling the tension in the muscles suspending me above her.
Rowan started coming: I could see it in her face, feel it in the way her body moved beneath me. And her moans! Non-stop sincere out-of-control desire and satisfaction swirled together. I kept going, almost-fucking her, and I think maybe she kept coming. A part of me hoped, against all good judgment, that we would slip somehow, that my dick would enter her and that I would finish inside her.
We heard the garage door - Mom was early. Rowan gave me a "what are we going to do" look. I was so close! We had time - a few seconds. She squeezed her legs together tighter and I pumped my cock in them as fast as I could. She bit her lip and kept quiet, watching my face intently. We heard Mom's footsteps in the kitchen downstairs. It was reckless, but I wasn't giving up! Mom was walking up the stairs as I exploded my come onto the towel under my sister's butt.
We managed to get dressed and hide the towel in time.
Mom and I waited inside the airport at the gate with Rowan. Since we couldn't say the things we wanted to, we didn't say much at all. Mom filled the silence all by herself without noticing.
When they called Rowan's boarding group, after one more round of goodbyes, she started toward the jetway. I dashed and caught her arm. In her ear, I whispered, "The next time I see you, sis? I'm going to fuck you for real."
She looked puzzled for a moment, but then the corners of her mouth turned up a tiny bit, and her eyes sparkled.
Chapter 5
Not a minute went by that I didn't desperately want to be with Rowan. I know it sounds stupid, but I swear I could feel her thinking the same thing about me. We talked on the phone long distance as much as our parents would allow, mostly using that time to look for ways we could be together. The summer was too far away.
We came up with a plan: Rowan signed up for an archery tournament. She didn't have expectations of placing highly - she was good, but not great. But this gave me, her supportive brother, a reason to want to go visit her. My dad gave in to my pestering. It would be a thirteen-hour bus trip each way, and only for two nights, but we would make the most of it.
I was at the same time tired and restless after the trip, so Rowan and I walked around the neighborhood for a half-hour before dinner. Our hands brushed each other's while we walked but we fought the magnetic pull that trying to snap them together. Brothers and sisters don't do that. We couldn't take the chance.
I had visited her family before, but it had never been a home to me. Despite her mother and step-father's words, I always felt unwelcome. This time was no different. After dinner and some TV, I went to sleep on the couch hide-a-bed while Rowan slept in the bedroom she shared with her eight-year-old sister Lizzie.
In the middle of the night, Rowan woke me up and led me outside. It was snowing and we were barefoot, but we didn't have far to go: there was a rickety tree house in the backyard. I stared at Rowan's tight panty-covered ass under her nightshirt as she climbed the ladder, and then I followed. There were blankets and pillows waiting for us, and Rowan switched on an electric heater that, if left unattended, would probably burn the tree down.
First, there was the kissing and touching. We were simultaneously too hot and too cold, but that wasn't going to stop us. She climbed on top of me, her boobs squished against my chest, and she shifted until she could feel my hard wood against her thigh. She inched back until it was right up against her wet pussy. Even as she raised her hips and reached between her legs to guide my cock, a part of me didn't believe it was really happening.
Then she slowly screwed herself onto my boner. She winced a couple of times, but she was wearing her biggest, happiest smile. She rocked and wiggled, up and down, taking a little more of me inside her each cycle. Her pussy felt wonderfully tight, wrapping around more and more of my length. I felt big inside her. I could only imagine what it must have felt like for her.
Soon my dick was gliding in and out of her pussy smoothly. She rocked on top of me in a proper sex rhythm. The feeling was so much more than just in my dick. My whole body felt alive in a way I'd never known before. I was sure I was going to come any second, but I didn't want to, because then it would end.
"So this is what sex feels like," she observed casually.
"You're okay? It's good?" I asked.
She laughed and kissed my chin. "Your homework," she instructed, "is to figure out how to soundproof your room. Because next summer I'm going to do this to you three times a day!"
We started kissing, and I grabbed hold of her ass. Firm muscles flexed beneath my hands while she rocked her body on my dick. I started moving my hips too, thrusting just a little more into her. It felt right. Instinct compelled me to do it more - faster. Rowan giggled at my zeal.
This was sex. It was amazing. But I needed more. I needed her, more. I flipped us over so that I was on top. The blankets became a tangle at our sides.
"Oh! Okay!" Rowan said, surprised but happy to go along.
I thrust into her. We didn't kiss - I needed my mouth to breathe. "Oh!" She gasped, seemingly amazed. She wailed softly, looking vulnerable, like this was something happening to her, totally out of her control, and that she wanted it that way.
I was out of control, too. I had to keep thrusting. I had to fill her cunt with my sperm.
My sister's cunt, with my sperm! Holy hell, I needed to pull out! I felt her come - her pussy squeezed at my dick, her arms held me tightly, and she gasped. I needed to pull out. It felt amazing and I didn't want it to end any sooner than it had to. I could control it, I told myself. I'd just go a little longer and then I'd pull out before any damage was done. Rowan was still holding me tight, still gasping and moaning, and maybe still coming. I was cutting it close, but there was still time. Just a little longer and then I'd...
I fired off my first shot, all the way inside her - a huge wad of sperm as close as humanly possible to her uterus. I should have pulled out then, too, but instinct wouldn't let me. I screwed my dick in every last little bit and shot more come inside her, even as I apologized.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Oh god! Rowan, I'm so sorry!" My dick was still twitching inside her - still letting loose. Her face was full of concern. I couldn't make myself pull out until I was spent. When I did, scrambling upright, I tried to wipe her pussy with my underwear, but that was futile. "We'll tell everyone I raped you," I franticly planned. "Dad will pay for a procedure under the circumstances. I'll go to prison, but your reputation won't be hurt too much."
She rose up in front of me and put her hands on my shoulders. "Jamie, it's okay! It's okay that you came inside of me. I'm on the pill."
I stared at her dumbly - I wasn't thinking clearly or quickly.
"I'm on the pill," she repeated. I hugged her.
We were kneeling, face to face. The heater was shining at us from one side, but the cold bit at us from all others. "Let's go inside, okay?" She said sweetly.
We sat on the thin mattress that had unfolded from the sofa, not daring to hold each other in case someone entered the room. We talked for a little while - mostly just variations on, "I'm glad it was you." I couldn't stop thinking about my sperm inside her body.
Rowan made a respectable showing at the archery competition, but she didn't win any ribbons. We killed time in the evening, watching the snow fall and the temperature drop, waiting for everyone to go to bed.
The blankets in the tree house had been moved from where we left them: shoved into a corner. In their place, five dolls formed a circle. Rowan moved the dolls to a shelf while I got the bedding ready.
We started off beneath the blankets this time, taking off each other's clothes while trying not to let the cold in, giggling at our clumsiness.
"Hey, Jamie?" Rowan began. We were completely naked by that point, and she was lazily rubbing my junk. "Last night? It was sort of like you took me."
"Ah. Yeah. I guess so," I said apologetically.
"Well, I want you to know," she continued, "no matter what - however old we are or what's going on in our lives - you can take me whenever you want."
I was confused. I couldn't tell if this was just pillow talk or if she was making plans for the rest of our lives.
"I mean," she went on, "we're not going to marry each other. That couldn't possibly work, right?"
"No, probably not," I reluctantly agreed. "Not without cutting ties with everyone we know."
"Yeah, so," she continued, "if you like the way I look on my wedding day, or if my impassioned arguments in front of the Supreme Court stir something in you, make an excuse, find a place we can be alone, and fuck me. Use me."
"Yeah, okay," I agreed with a kiss.
She tossed her head from side to side. "But, I mean, now is good too."
I made my sister lie face down and I rubbed between her legs, eliciting pleasant sounds. More and more she squirmed out of eagerness. I made her wait. When her wiggling rose to the level of begging, I propped her up on her hands and knees and covered her with a blanket from neck to tailbone. I rose to my knees behind her with a blanket wrapped around my shoulders, and then I slowly eased my cock into her tight wet pussy. I began thrusting, slowly.
"Ohhh...," she moaned. She looked back at me and smiled. "You're so deep inside me."
I pumped, making us both feel good. She grunted softly with each thrust. There wasn't much to look at except the back of her head and a small strip of her ass, so my eyes wandered. Lizzie's dolls were staring at us with cool poker faces. "You don't think they'll tell your sister, do you?"
"You think we'll be the topic of tea party gossip?" She answered. A moment later she added, "Let's give them something to really talk about. Come on, brother, fuck me harder."
It felt wonderful, having my sister wrapped around my cock, moaning as I thrust into her. The tree house creaked. One of the dolls fell from her shelf - swooning at the scandal, no doubt. Rowan's moans rose in pitch cyclically. I had her figured out. She was going to come soon.
Rowan folded her arms and lowered her head. "So fucking deep! Oh my god!" She muttered. She shifted her knees a bit as if to brace herself for the force of her upcoming climax. Then it happened - she came. I could see the side of her face wearing an expression that nobody else had ever seen.
She kept moaning. I grunted a lot. Some floorboard was thumping along with our thrusts. Her pussy quivered around my cock. I was close, and I gripped her ass tightly.
"Jamie?" She said. "I lied about being on the pill."
I was shocked and afraid. That should have been enough to make me stop instantly. Instead, it made my need stronger. "I can't stop!" I told her, pounding her more forcefully.
"I know," she said.
Rowan came again. I struggled to fight the urge, but I was too weak. I needed to fill her womb. I needed to knock my sister up. It was more than just physical gratification as I pumped gobs of baby-sparks into her. To my horror, there was a spiritual satisfaction that came with the thought of making her pregnant. I gave up trying to fight it and stayed sunk deep in her cunt until every last drop was inside her.
I climbed under her blanket beside her. "Fuck," I said like a doomed man.
She put her hands on my face, smiling coyly. With a shrug, she said, "I lied about lying. It seemed to turn you on last night." I laughed, relieved, unable to be upset about the deceit.
I had a lot of time to think during the bus ride home. We had agreed to see other people, but I decided I wasn't going to give up on the idea of marrying Rowan. I told myself that we'd be careful, that we'd adopt our kids. But a secret part of my mind reveled at the inevitability that sooner or later, whether she married me or someone else, I was going to make her pregnant.