Learns A

by Kristen

This story describes sexual acts and should be considered adult entertainment. If you are not a consenting adult, please read no further. This story is available in downloadable TEXT format at this location: Sally Learns Her Lesson

A Parody of the TV series "Third Rock from the Sun"
Sally Learns Her Lesson (mf, inc, first)
by Kristen Kathleen Becker

This story is a parody of the popular American sitcom "Third Rock from the Sun." It's about a group of alien anthropologists who come to earth and take human form so they can learn about our society from the inside.


Dr. Solomon walked silently through the halls of the college toward his car. He really had to do something to redeem his standing with both Dr. Albright and the school director. He thought back on the events of the day and couldn't quite see where he'd gone wrong.

Oh sure, he knew that kissing Mary Albright in her class room in front of her students, and pushing her up against the wall and groping her magnificent breasts had been somewhat indiscreet. But the school director surely over-reacted by suspending him for the remainder of the week. "Earthlings!" it was so hard to understand them.

Just lately his sexual urges had been just too strong for him to control. The body he inhabited was giving him signals which made him do things that, apparently, were against human custom. Sometimes he felt he ought just to scrap this whole Earth experiment.

Pulling into his driveway, he could see Mrs. Dubcheck looking out of her window. Sometimes she really got under his skin. She was always spying on them, and he wasn't sure how much she suspected. However, that was a problem he didn't want to face right now.

Climbing the stairs to the 'family's' apartment, he heard loud voices through the door. "God dammit, Harry! You better stop eating the upholstery or I'm gonna kick your scrawny butt."

Ahh, Harry and Sally were at it again.

As Dick opened the front door and entered the apartment, Sally looked up and immediately started in on him. "Dick, I want you to tell this idiot to stop messing up the furniture... He insists on eating the upholstery for lunch."

Harry piped up: "Dick, tell Sally to lay off me, or I'll show her what a man can do to a woman on this planet. I've taken about all I can from her!"

Dick spoke with exasperation: "Look, you two, we're supposed to be a happy terrain family, and this bickering is just unacceptable! As High Commander, I order you to get along... and to start with I want you to kiss and make up. And I mean NOW!"

Sally, an obedient lieutenant, sprang from the couch and grabbed Harry's head tightly with both hands, twisting it and bringing it up close to her face. She planted her lips around his and sucked them deep into her mouth. She held poor Harry in this position for a full minute until he began to black out, when she dropped him to the floor and stomped off to her bedroom.

Watching Sally perform that aggressive kiss, dominating Harry, Dick was overcome by a strange feeling. He hardly noticed Harry lying half-conscious on the floor. He stood up and went over to Sally's door. After knocking, he opened it and walked in.

Dick stood there frozen, staring at Sally... She lay prone on the bed, her pants lying at the foot of it. Her legs were spread wide, and one of her hands was between them, massaging her crotch.

"Sally! What on earth are you doing?"

She jumped at the sound of his voice. Wha...? DICK! Can't a girl have any privacy around here? Get out before I break a knee cap!"

"Why would you break your knee cap? I mean, that would really hurt, wouldn't it? Besides, you'd have a hell of a hard time walking around."


"I just wanted to know what you where doing. Whatever it was, it was having quite an effect on me. You have a really great body. Did you know that?"

"You really think so?"

"Yes, and since I seem to be in trouble with Dr. Albright, I wouldn't mind using it for my sexual gratification.... What d'yah say?"

"I say NO! Now remove yourself from my bedroom, or I'll remove you myself."

"Sally, I intend to leave, but please first tell me what you were doing on the bed just now. You know that we're here to learn about this planet and the people on it, and you were doing something I'm unfamiliar with. So, what were you doing! Pleeeze!"

"Now get out so I can finish myself off!"

He surveyed Sally's smooth body, sprawled out before him, and felt strangely nervous. She looked so... He wasn't sure, but he knew he didn't want to leave. A thought struck him. "Sally, where did you learn to do that, and what does it feel like to... masturbate?" he asked, curiosity building inside him, along with... something he couldn't quite put his finger on.

"I learned about it from Nina, your secretary, and it feels real good. Okay? Now leave me so I can finish!"

"Can I watch?"

Sally was feeling quite frustrated by now. She could either get up and kick Dick's butt, which would definitely ruin the mood, or let the dick-head watch. "Okay, just sit there and be real quiet."

"Sure, Sally. You won't even know I'm here!"

She lay back on the bed, closed her eyes and began again that slow rhythm she knew so well. She thought back to the day two months ago when she'd inadvertently stumbled on Nina, masturbating at her desk in the back office. What a sight that had been!

Sally had long been attracted to Nina's smooth, dark skin; it gave her a funny feeling in the pit of her stomach when she thought about it, and about how it would feel to lie on top of her, feel her, touch her.. "Oh God... this feels so good, Nina. Oh GOD!"

Sally let her mind drift back to that first day at Nina's desk. It had been wonderful. That feeling surged again through her body, making her shiver with delight.

Dick sat and watched Sally closely as she fingered herself. The show was having its expected effect on his body too. He now sported a huge erection, and had started to breathe faster. When he heard Sally call out he felt he had to touch her. He rose silently and undid his pants, letting them drop to the floor. Stepping out of them, he approached Sally's bouncing bed and quietly sat down next to her, then reached over and put his hand on top of hers.

Sally's eyes flew open and she paused in her sexual massage. Dick's hand now replaced hers and he imitated her earlier movements as best he could, pressing his palm firmly on top of her moist pussy lips.

'Wow!' he thought. Was this erotic!' The feelings that coursed through his earthling body were a real rush. Dick had been having regular sex with Dr. Albright, but this was different. Sex with another, different body was more intense. This first time with another body other than Mary's was turning him on more than he'd been turned on for a long while.

Dick knew he must fuck Sally, and he had to do it now; he couldn't wait any longer.

After the initial shock of Dick's first touch, Sally lay back and let him masturbate her pussy. This was almost as good as Nina, she thought, remembering how Nina had gasped in surprise when Sally had interrupted her self-manipulation at her desk. When the beautiful dark woman had recovered from her shock at being discovered, she had beckoned a fascinated Sally over to her.

She had unbuckled Sally's belt, and opened her jeans, slid her pants and undies down her thighs, and "oohed" and "awwed" while fingering her unresisting private parts.

Sally hadn't had an orgasm before that day. But since then... wow! Now she masturbated at least four or five times a day. The best times were just after whacking Harry or Tommy, or when she had dominated any man, for that matter. Yes, those had been the best times.... until now.

Dick's hand was driving her crazy. His fingers, sliding in and out of her wet vagina, made Sally think strange thoughts. As she began to orgasm, she grabbed Dick's head and jammed it, face first, down into her crotch, grinding his nose and mouth into her soaking pussy.

Dick didn't seem to mind at all and, suddenly, he started to kiss and lick her cunt lips, taking her over the edge.


Dick was fascinated by Sally's reaction, and highly turned-on too. What he had to do next was fuck his weapons officer. That much he knew.

Sally had taken the female body when they first landed because she liked the texture of the skin and the graceful lines of the body; she didn't know about the stereotypes and obligations that came with it. Dick was glad his weapons officer had chosen this body because just then it was looking very inviting.

He crawled up onto the bed, and when Sally's racking spasms slackened he positioned himself between her shapely long legs and eased himself down onto her hard, smooth body. He felt her become tense when he placed his raging erection against her sloppy opening. She started to protest but Dick just plunged with his hips, and in one smooth, hard stroke he was up to the hilt inside her.

Sally yelped as his human cock tore through her hymen, destroying her virgin barrier. Then it all became a whirl as Dick plunged over and over into Sally's now-yielding pussy. After an instant of pain, and a momentary primal fear, Sally lay back and let it happen. Pretty soon she found that Dick's thrusting made her feel even better than masturbating had done.

She started thrusting back, meeting his hips with faster, and even more violent, humping movements of her own. It wasn't long before Dick started shooting his sperm into her waiting vessel.

'Yes,' he thought, pumping come into her vagina, 'this weapons officer sure has a fine body'. He thrust a few more times, squirting out his last few jets, then he slumped on top of Sally, breathing hard, in a comfortable afterglow.

Sally, prone under Dick's limp body, what was left of a once-mighty erection nestling comfortably in her rather worn pussy, hugged her commander and kissed his cheek. "That really was fun, High Commander!" she cooed. "We must do it again soon!"

KNOCK KNOCK... "Hey, you guys, what's ya doin' in there? Hey, youse guys, open up, huh? I promise not to eat the upholstery any more. Come on out! I'm bored! Want ta play?"

Acknowledgments: All my thanks... to Stephen for his encouragement and proofing and to Ian for doing such a good job editing my little story.

August 1997 Last Edit 03/00 Kristen Kathleen Becker

This work is copyrighted to the author. Please do not remove the author information or make any changes to this story. You may post freely to non- commercial "free" sites, or in the "free" area of commercial sites. Thank you for your consideration. Kristen's Kitty