Friday, June 24 2005

I had a strange but nice dream one night. It was about my friend. We were together at my home. We were sitting on my bed and he was tickling me and I was laughing. And then we lay down on the bed and kissed! That was the first time I had a dream in which I was kissing a guy. I'm still confused about it but I know I liked the dream. I wonder what it means. That dream was a surprise for me. I don't know if I would enjoy kissing guys. I've never lived with a guy before so I don't know how it would feel. I can be confused around men and I'm scared not to disappoint them. I think my dad was the only male person I ever lived with for a while. I have male friends but not many. Most of them are my friends' friends or people I know from work.

Nikki is on summer holiday now but I still go to work. I'll take a vacation in August so I can spend more time with Nikki. I think it was about two weeks ago when I asked Nikki to invite Else. They came together on Saturday and we went to the harbor to watch old tall ships and a historical festival. That was the first time I met Else. She is a pretty girl and I understand why Nikki likes her so much. She has long dark brown hair, big eyes and a pretty smile. She's 15 and very smart. We talked about school and their LGBT club and what they do there. Then while walking around the harbor and watching the show, we've lost Nikki somewhere in the crowd. I wasn't afraid for her because she knows how to get around but I didn't know how we'll find her. Else said we should just wait at the corner and look for her but after fifteen minutes we still haven't seen her anywhere. Then I decided to go looking for her while Else waited for me. I walked around for a long time until I finally saw her. She was looking for us too and she was angry that we have lost her in the crowd.

By then we were tired so we returned home for lunch and then Else had to return back home. I told Nikki I liked Else and she said she likes her too. One week later, Nikki had lots of homework so she brought it with her and asked me to help her. We worked all weekend on her assignments and projects. She didn't even go to her soccer practice. It was a hot day and she took her clothes off and I mean everything! She was walking around the place naked. I know she was partly having fun with me. I've never seen her do that before and I said she should do it more often at which she smiled and said only if I help her with homework. It was hard working on her projects while she was sitting naked beside me and in the afternoon we had to take some time off from mathematics and go lie down. I took her to the bedroom and made her pay me back for working on her homework which she enjoyed. Unfortunately that was her last week of school so she won't need my help anymore until the next school year but I hope I'll find something else to incite her to walk around naked all day.

I'll have more time to write this summer as we are not going away anywhere far. I would like to spend this summer at home and in bed with her as much as possible.