Friday, November 19 2004

It's Friday afternoon here. Tonight I'm going out with some friends but I won't stay for long because I'm feeling tired and I promised Nikki to pick her up tomorrow in the morning so we can go to the science museum.

We went hiking last Sunday after all. It was cold but sunny. We went to a place which is about 45 minutes drive from here. There is a nice forest and lakes and hills where we could walk in peace and enjoy the fresh air. There is also a castle but we only passed it by. We didn't do any serious hiking because Nikki felt tired. She didn't get much sleep the night before because she and her friends were having fun all night instead of sleeping. But that's what usually happens at sleepovers. I don't know why they call them sleepovers. They should just call them partyovers. So after a while we went to the local town to have lunch and get some rest. She told me about the sleepover and how they partied all night. It wasn't at Sandra's place but at another girl's, but Sandra was there too. She said that lots of her girl friends like girls and boys the same but don't often admit that. She wanted to tell Sandra about us because Sandra has told her that she likes boys and girls so she thought Sandra wouldn't think it's wrong. But after we talked about it we decided it's best to wait a little longer before our relationship becomes known to her friends. Sandra would probably take it without any problem but who knows how it may end if the rumor spreads around and someone else learns about it. But I think she's happy for now just talking to her friends without a fear about liking other girls without feeling weird or an outcast and also about boys because she likes some boys too. It's not to say that all kids at her school are the same but she has found friends who are like her and she can be open with them about her feelings.

I missed her on Saturday but I think it's actually good for her to do other things on weekends beside spending them with me like going to sleepovers or parties with her friends and I expect we'll be seeing each other less as she grows up. She has to spend more time with her friends and meet other people. I know I've said this before but it's not like I'm trying to push her away. I wish we could live together every day and not only on weekends but in the end she has her own life and she has to learn how to make decisions and choices for herself and if she decides one day to live with me, I'll be here waiting for her.

So after our lunch we headed back home because she still had loads of homework to do and her mom would be really cranky at me if I hadn't made sure she's done it. I helped her with math which left us some time for a couple of kisses and a cuddle before I drove her back home. Sometimes when I write this I remember how long we've been together and doing everything together ever since she was little, like helping her with homework and driving her home and taking her to sports and going places. I don't think there is another person who could replace her in my life.

I'm still trying to find somewhere for us to go this New Year. Nikki said she'd like to take a friend with her, probably Sandra, but then we'd lose our privacy. I don't want to disappoint her but I was hoping for a couple of quiet romantic days for just the two of us. Maybe we'll figure out something by then.