Thursday, April 24 2003

I keep a photograph of Nikki on my desk at work. She's topless in that picture because I took it on our summer holiday when she was ten but it's nothing unusual here so no one asked me why she's topless. I've been asked who she is and I tell them she's a girl I know and look after sometimes. I sometimes feel as if I should tell them she's my cousin or something because it makes me feel weird to tell them I keep a picture of a little girl who is not my family.

I sometimes wish Nikki's mom knew how much Nikki enjoys when we cuddle in bed. Maybe then she would be more willing to let us be closer with each other. But I'm happy the way it is and I don't complain. I know Nikki is happy and that's all that matters.

Some lesbian mothers maybe want their daughters to grow up to be lesbians but many of them probably want them to be whatever then want to be. I don't think it's important what they turn out to be. If I had a daughter I would let her choose for herself. I haven't met any lesbian moms yet. Some of my friends would like to have children but they haven't yet decided how to go about it. They are thinking about adoption and artificial insemination but it all costs lots of money. If my friendship with Ella worked out maybe even we would consider something like that but I think Ella was still too young and she was more interested in going to parties than having a family.