Friday, November 15 2002

I've been going to a gym twice a week for some time. It's a good place to meet other girls. I don't mean little girls but young girls like Ella. She's been going with me since we met and we have a great time together at the gym. We even made some friends there; they are two girls who go to Ella's college and they are lesbians too.

I remember mentioning Nikki's feelings for girls and how I would write about it. I think it was before our holiday. It feels so long ago now I don't even know what I wrote. Nikki has a few close friends. They all go to the same class. One of her best friends was the girl who told everyone in school about me and Nikki and called Nikki a lesbian. Nikki still doesn't know why she did it because they were good friends and it really made Nikki upset. Nikki cried when she told me about it because she liked that girl very much and they've been friends for a long time. They are no longer friends, but Nikki is still friends with two other girls and they go together to karate class and have sleepovers once a month. But before all this happened, Nikki and I talked about her girlfriends and she said how she sometimes wants to kiss them the way we kiss when we are alone. I told her it's beautiful that she loves her girlfriends and how it's all right if she feels in love with her friends. I asked her if she ever kissed any of them and she said she kissed only one of them on the cheek. I saw them many times as they held their hands while walking from school and she did it only with one girl who is her friend but not with the other two. At least that's what she says and I don't have any reason to disbelieve her, but I wonder what happened between her and the girl who called her lesbian. She never said why the girl who was her best friend did it, and I never asked her more about it because she was really sad about everything that happened. Maybe one day when she gets a little older we'll talk about it again, but for now I'm happy that she's still very close to the girl she kissed on the cheek and that she still has two best friends to play with and have fun at sleepovers.

Speaking of Nikki, she is back at school and she has a lot to catch up with. I spoke with her on the phone and she said she has a lot of homework to do. They will have a winter holiday soon and before holiday they usually have exams so she's trying hard now to learn everything in time for exams. I told her not to worry too much about her marks because she was sick and it's all right if she doesn't get the best marks. I believe we won't see each other very soon but I'll try to take her out on the weekend at least. In any case, I'll make something special for her during her winter holiday. Last year we had a great New Year's Eve together. I don't know if we could do it again this time around. It all depends on her parents, and I don't want to leave Ella alone too.