Tuesday, January 08 2002

I was thinking about buying thong panties for Nikki's birthday. The only reason I haven't bought it for her yet is that I don't know how her mom and dad will react to it. I don't want to push it too far with them. I sometimes feel they're a little uncomfortable with everything when they see Nikki and me kiss and cuddle in their presence. On the other hand, they probably know there's much more going on when she's with me at my home but it doesn't bother them as much. I've never really discussed our relationship with them in any depth as to know what they think about it. The only thing I know is what they've told me about the sex part but that's all I can tell about them.

I wish we could be more free than we're now. It's really painful to hide this love from everyone, it makes me fee like a criminal. I worry about Nikki too that she might feel obliged to keep it a secret from others even though I have never asked her to do that. I would never do anything like that but little kids sometimes feel they're expected to, even when you don't tell them to do so. I sometimes feel depressed even though I have a little girl to love. It's silly, I know, but it's true.