Master PC in Nippon
Chapter Nine: Storming the Castle

Ret and Jack, poorly dressed in wrinkled navy blue suits, bottle glasses and pocket protectors loaded with more pens a then a scrivener could use in a lifetime, approached the overweight middle aged woman at the desk and gave their aliases.

"Yes. Gentlemen, you are expected. Please use the elevator to your right and depart on the 19th floor."

Jack and Ret walked through a metal detector and six grim security guards. Each of them was built like they could take out a division. They examined their goods, like Jack's diabetes kit and passed them through. The elevator operator was much the same. Jack tried to break the tension on the ride up by making small talk.

"Long day?"

"The usual."

"What do you plan on doing after work?"

"I am going to go straight home and help my daughter with her homework and then the clean the apartment."

"Admirable." Jack liked "family men."

"And you, sir?"

"I'm going right out and getting myself a good stiff drink."

The operator emitted a less-than-polite growl of disapproval. Both Jack and Ret were taken aback. Jack was especially grateful when the door opened to the 19th floor.

The lobby was filled with greasy haired executives, some young, some not so young. They all had a highball of some sort in their hands. In a flash, a waiter appeared to take their order. Since both men had man themselves immune to foreign substances of any sort before the trip, they ordered their usual.

The meeting started right on time. Then men were ushered into a standard, nondescript conference room filled with folding chairs. An older, gray haired gentleman stood at the podium. His secretary, a frumpy middle aged, but competent looking woman, sat at a desk behind him with a laptop. Except for the four human gorillas in the corners, it might have been a sales meeting. In a way, it was.

"Gentlemen, please take a seat."

Jack and Ret each took a chair near the window, in case they had to leave suddenly.

"Gentlemen, welcome.  You are all here to obtain your ideal wife. Your order will be determined by lot but do not worry, there is plenty of love for all, as long as the check clears."  The men laughed at the stupid joke and Ret and Jack joined in with the group.

A man came around with a basket filled with slips of paper.
Both Jack and Ret drew high numbers, twenty-seven and thirty-two out of the fifty men present.

Number One was called forth. He was an ordinary enough man. He was a little overweight, nearsighted and painfully shy. He stood up and tried to appear confident in the extra ordinary circumstances.

The frumpy secretary stood up, opened a door behind her and ushered a mousy little girl in. She slunk and wheezed all the way from the door, behind the podium, and finally came to a nervous halt on a temporary parquet platform at the front and center of the room.

The secretary read her resume from a paper. Both Jack and Ret had to telepathically admit it wasn't bad.

Then the emcee spoke up. He reminded Jack of a game show host. "So what would be the first thing you would like to be changed about this young lady?"

Both Jack and Ret tensed. Now they would see who operated Master PC.

"Nothing. I love her just the way she is."

The gray haired old gent raised an eyebrow. "You sure?"

"Absolutely. I wouldn't change a thing." He was in complete earnest.

Now Jack and Retsudo were alarmed.  There was absolutely no one the face of the earth that didn't want to change something about the person they loved.

"Not that hairy mole on her chin?"


"Not her crooked teeth?"

"I think they are cute."

"How about her habit of biting her nails?"

"Stop. She is my ideal. Do not change a thing. I'll take her now."

The happy couple departed arm in arm while the male audience applauded his good choice.

It was a good thing Jack was sitting behind him because Retsudo would have hard time not sharing a look of disbelief with his friend. He hoped he applauded enough to appease the baleful glares of the guards.

The second choice went much like the first. A nice, but older and unattractive girl with a serious hygiene problem was set up with an ordinary, but shy, man who accepted all the girl's flaws.

When the hugely overweight girl came out and the third man said he'd gladly wipe her ass for her, Jack pleasantly interrupted Retsudo's mind. "I've got it."


"It's the secretary."

"But the man's giving her orders."

"That's just bad camouflage. Look at this whole thing. It's got "grandmother" written all over it. If I had a nickel for every 'nice girl in a cow suit' mom tried to fix me up with I'd be a rich man."

"I wouldn't know."

"Right. Sorry. Take my word for it."

"Is that your professional opinion?"

"Yes. It is the woman. Every protestation of love is victory for her. Look at her smug face."

Jack was right. "Well, let's hurry up and do it, before I get sick."

By experimenting with harmless commands they found the guards to be immune to their guidance. Not only that, but except for breathing and eyes, they didn't move at all. So they adjusted things. The two men worked out their plan and back up plans while clients three through twenty took their betrotheds home to meet mom.

Before girl #21 could enter, Ret and Jack sprung. Each of them rammed a one of their ballpoint pens straight under the guard's jaw and into their brains. Regeneration or no, a person cannot think with their medulla oblongata shiskabobbed on a Bic.

While Ret snatched away the computer, Jack stabbed his hypodermic into the surprised secretary.

The gray haired old man made a slow, unenhanced move for Jack. Jack side kicked him in his heart, ending his life.
Then Ret broadcast that all the men should take a long nap.

Jack observed his patient and Ret leaned into the room where all the girls waited. He smiled. Only one gorilla was with them, fortunately.   A hideous bunch of wenches they were too but Ret kept it cheerful. "Ladies! Please take a nap." When all the girls collapsed, the gorilla attacked. He was very strong, but compared to Ret's super reflexes, it was like he was moving underwater. Mister Bic claimed another victim.

When he re-entered the conference area, Jack looked confident. His drug had taken effect on the old woman.

"Everything okay in there?"

"Fine.  I guess she made them strong but stopped there."

"Aaaannnd bulletproofffff."

"Why not stab-proof?" Jack added academically.

"Might need sssurgery."

"Very thoughtful. Do they regenerate?"


"Guess grannies don't manufacture the best soldiers."

Ret looked at the dead guards. "Sorry guys."

"Now you are going to tell us all about the operation."

"Immune to Massssster PSsssseeeeee."

"Who said anything about that? You are loaded with some serious psychotropics. You are going to do exactly what we say because your brain chemistry says you will...sloppily it is true but once you give us all your copies of the program we can take it from there."

"Who are you?"

"Fuck that shit. Shut up and tell me about where you got your Master PC stashed."

It was early the next morning and Jack and Ret met the same elevator operator going down. Jack tried his questions again.

"What you going to do after work?"

"Help my daughter with her science project."

Jack and Ret panicked.

"Then I'm having a drink and watching the Sumo on TV."

The two men smiled. The world was back to normal. The newly gorgeous receptionist waved a loving goodbye to them as they left the tower.

"So, I take it the Tanaka threat has ended?" Fukogawa asked.

"Yes. It will still exist as a normal corporate entity but all extra ordinary activities have ended, permanently." Retsudo did not bother to mention the voting shares of Tanaka stock both he and Jack now controlled.

"I am content. I will marry Ai. Six weeks should be enough time."

"Six months is a proper courting period, befitting her station." Retsudo fumed.

"I suppose. I am marrying her for her station after all. Very well then, six months."

The End of Chapter Nine.