Hi! If you got to this story through normal channels then you probably know all of the usual warnings and have some idea what you've found.

If you were googling for Masterpiece Theatre, Annette Funicello, or similar, you ought to go read something else. This story contains some stuff that's not for children, people offended by textual representations of sex acts, or people with no sense of humour.

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Thanks go out to Born Blitzed and Ms Myrrh for test reads and proofing.

Dear Clubhouse Letters: Beach Party

By William Pratt

Dear Clubhouse Letters,

Well he finally proposed, so I’m finally writing this up. It’s about 7 years late, but it’s still a good story.

This takes place in the summer of ’98. Me, Tanya, and some of the other girls from college were taking a long weekend from our summer jobs and vacationing on the beach. We found a pretty good spot the day before, so we headed out early to claim it. A bit too early and too late as it turns out. We brought big cooler full of ice for drinks, a volleyball net to put up, and everything else we figured we’d need. Once things started to move we’d be all ready. We’d sort of counted on some guys being around to help us carry our stuff, but we got there before they did. So no guys and we were beaten to our spot by a few people, all but one of them girls. That one guy, Harry (even though I didn’t know his name until later), sat in the middle of our space being completely useless.

Harry was working on a computer and camped out right where we wanted the volleyball net, looking like a total goof because he was completely dressed. In fact, for the beach and the temperature, he was overdressed. When I spotted and pointed him out to my friends, we all stopped and laughed. He wore pants, a long sleeved shirt and a big hat like he was trying to stay out of the sun. What kind of idiot goes to the beach to stay out of the sun? As it was, the guy needed more sun. A lot more. Anyway, he was in our way, but once some guys got here, convincing the geek to move and getting the boys to set up the net would be easy.

I watched him sitting there, monkeying around on his computer, with a kind of morbid fascination. He looked just so totally wrong there, but anyone who has read a romance novel should be able to see this whole story coming: Girl meets a guy who is totally wrong for her and by the end of the weekend they’re screwing each other senseless. It’s a totally irresponsible thing to teach kids, rushing into sex like that, but none of them should be reading this and I’ve always been a bit impatient. I only waited about 3 hours.

So I’m watching Harry, and his eyes alternated between this one absolutely gorgeous lady and his computer. His “lady friend” was very tall, and if you put the best features of me, Judy, and Alice together into one person, maybe we wouldn’t be totally embarrassed standing next to her. I mean she was all woman: blonde, a body that’d make a Barbie doll jealous and legs that looked long enough to take a city block in one step. The beach was packed with beautiful women that day, but I remember her especially because Harry really did know Annette from somewhere and she drops by the house every now and then for a “spot of fun”. She teaches the piano and her accent is soooo hot.

Don’t get me wrong. I mostly like guys, but every now and then I get a bit of a hunger for the other white meat.

Anyway at the time I was 5’6”, slim, but nowhere near as in shape as I am now, a pretty full C-cup and dyed blonde (I’m not exactly all natural these days either, but I’ve gone back to the seriously dark brown I was born with). I was taking sort of bunny courses at college, nothing really, because I was just going to be a housewife. Even they have to work these days, so I wanted some job options that didn’t include mopping floors or running a till. Alice was maybe a bit better looking, but it was probably just because she was more outgoing. She’s the one who usually started things, found us guys, picked the clubs to hang out at, and got us into trouble. And Judy was skinny almost all of her life, but somehow became stacked to the rafters over the last year or so. I hadn’t really noticed before that day, but she’d really filled out, a real late bloomer.

Anyway, when I caught the computer geek mumbling something like “D-Cup breasts”, I had to see what he was doing. He was carefully making the lady’s breasts bigger with this 3D art program. Harry was petty good at it because the rotating picture of the lady was almost bang on, except for the tits. I was like, “Fuck.... Legs like that and you’re worried about the size of her boobs?” It was funny, really. Annette was already about as stacked as you’d ever want to be and Harry was drawing her with footballs sticking out of her chest. I started laughing and he jerked his head up, spun his head around and almost threw his computer into the sand in a panic.

“Load. Winword.” he practically shrieked. I didn’t understand right away what he meant, but, a few seconds later, the screen turned white. He had a computer that you could dictate stuff to, but it was pretty slow and, by the time it managed to cover up the guy’s drawing, we’d all seen what he was up to and were howling with laughter. I think it was the look of shock and horror on his face that first got me interested in him. It was priceless and cute.

So me and my friends, we’re teasing the guy since he’s so obviously out of his league with this chick, football boobs or not. I mean come on. He was about 5’9”, what we could see of the guy was white as a ghost, he had no muscle to speak of and he just looked like a goof sitting on the beach covered head to toe in “hello, I’m a virgin” white.

I should point out that I (with Judy and Annette sometimes) have fixed him up a lot since. He really just needed to get out more, meet people and learn how to dress. If some girl had spent the time on him back in high school she would have gotten a real gem, but, even at 19 (he was 21), we both needed to grow up a lot more before I saw that. I needed to stop being so desperate for everyone’s attention and praise. For a long time I was actually a little ashamed of him. I mean me dating a nerd? But, God, if only they knew! He needed to get over his perfect woman with huge boobs thing. I’m really glad he did, otherwise I’d never even be thinking of getting married. Well, he got over a bit of it and I met him half way with implants. Nothing outrageous (and not those pathetic, round bowl-tits you see these days), but more than enough to bounce when he does me on his office desk or for him to have more than a handful when I do him.

Finally he got up the guts and said something like, “Excuse me, I’m trying to work.” So I said, “We know what you’re working on.” and cupped my breasts to make them stand out more. Harry totally went red then and Alice started laughing her ass off and pointing. He tried to cover up, but how could he? He is so hung that it looks out of place on the rest of him. He was really skinny and hard as a rock so it just looked stupidly huge in comparison. If he’d been wearing a swimsuit, none of us would have been laughing. No, we would have been setting him up with Judy because between his dick and her boobs they would have been a hilarious match. Like nerd Porno or something.

“I remember one movie,” said Judy, eyeing the bulge, “that said Nerds are the best lovers, ’cuz they’re always ready for sex. It’s true, for this guy anyway.” We all laughed about this, but it turns out that it really is true. Harry keeps me going for hours and he’s always game for a romp. But we’re all pushing in close, Alice even rubbing up against him, saying stuff like “Ooooo, you’ll have no problem pleasing women with a cock like that. And the way your fingers fly on that keyboard, they have to be faaaan-tastic during sex.” I was all in his face moaning “Ooooh! Your cock looks so yummy. It must taste soooo good, like a big popsicle. Sucking on it would make me soooo horny. Mmmmm. Getting wet just from thinking about it.”

What can I say? We were kind of young and stupid, but, oh my god, were we ever right! It was like something was listening and made all of our jokes into pussy melting reality while he hid that monster of his behind his computer. I remember thinking that even the computer sounded like it was laughing at him with all of the whirring and clicking noises it made.

Judy got in a couple of shots which was funny because she doesn’t usually get into that sort of thing. She was part nerd back then herself, but she was teasing the guy even worse than us, showing off her huge rack and saying silly stuff like “You’d love to see me with huge boobs too, wouldn’t you? You want to make me into a sexy, big-titted, dancing slut, don’t you?” I mean a year before, in high school, it would have been funny, sort of self mocking, but she’d totally filled out since then, and that made her little dance kind of stupid. Now that I think about it, I don’t know why she bothered, but at the time we were almost rolling on the ground and laughing.

He stuttered out “G-go away, please.” Harry looked so cute begging like that and completely flustered that I sort of felt sorry for him. I guess my friends did too, so we went and sunned ourselves for a while before going off to find out where all the guys were. We had the best spot on the beach and should have been buried with guys, but there weren’t any.

I asked Harry if he could watch our stuff for a few minutes, and the other girls looked at me like I was nuts to trust him after we’d been bugging him. Yeah, it was sort of a gamble, but he seemed ok. Plus he’d snap in half just trying to lift the cooler.

We must have walked a half mile before we found any guys at all. They gathered down by the hotdog stand instead of where they’d been the last couple days. I thought maybe they were mad that we took their spot, but Judy reeled in a couple with that teeny bikini she was wearing. Generally that was Alice’s job, but, after going most of her life flat as a board, Judy really liked to show off. Today she’d packed her F-cups in to one of her old tops, from back when she was built like a stick, and she looked absolutely wild. Transformed even.

Anyway, Judy and Alice got to talking with these two guys, but none of the others looked like they were my type. Just sitting there doing nothing, I started to worry about our stuff. I didn’t think Harry would have touched any of it, but like he could stop anyone else. He’d probably get killed trying, so I went back to our blanket kind of pissed off, ’cuz now I was stuck there. Our stuff was all there and so was Harry. He looked up said that there hadn’t been any trouble and then back down at the computer. I think he’d been working on his pictures again because the screen suddenly went white when he noticed I was back.

Judy’s textbook for her summer course had blown open, but that was all. Harry had picked up her notes when they tried to blow away and looked sort of disappointed that he couldn’t show off his gallantry in person to her, but he probably really wanted an excuse to get closer to her boobs.

I still don’t get why Judy bothered with that class, it was the last course she ever took, and she totally failed it because she spent all her time at clubs, doing amateur nights and practicing to become a stripper. She is a really smart person, not a bimbo at all, but she always says she makes more money stripping and doing the occasional modeling job or jiggle flick than she ever would have in business admin. She’s proud that as an exotic dancer she gets paid more because guys are sexist, not the other way around. It’s kind of a revenge thing for Judy, I think. Me, I strip because I like it, but I never went pro like she did. I just sort of dabble when I get bored or my regular job is in the off season.

I was bored out of my mind just sitting there, and by myself I couldn’t even set up the volleyball net. Eventually I found myself flipping through Judy’s math book. Yeah, that’s how bored I was, so I started to look around for something, anything, else to do. Harry had plugged in some speakers to his computer and was listening to a CD while he worked, hunched over his computer and happily tapping away. He was still the only guy around. It was just weird. It felt like someone had walled off this whole part of the beach and only let in gorgeous women.

And I mean gorgeous. My whole patch of the beach was girls built like models and pornstars. They must have a factory somewhere nearby because all of the girls pretty much all looked the same: busty, leggy, long-haired, well-exercised orgasms waiting to happen to some lucky guy or girl. All of them were beautiful, lying there sunning themselves or strutting around. Harry’s favorites, when he looked up from his computer, were the trio, one redhead, one blonde and one brunette, playing with a Frisbee. I could see why Harry liked them, but I couldn’t see how these girls were able to run and jump around when they shouldn’t have been able to stand up straight.

It was kind of freaky, but I’ve always been pretty good looking, so I fit in, sort of.

No I didn’t. If any of the girls had less than a double D chest, had any blemish, anywhere, or didn’t have perfect hair, I’d have been surprised. I tried to lie to myself and say I belonged there for a while, but one of the Frisbee girls just killed my illusions by falling out of her bikini while catching the Frisbee with her feet in the middle of a cartwheel. I felt like a loser for being only moderately attractive and, before I got my life straightened around, I thought the best way to not be a loser was to make someone else a bigger loser.

So I decided to set up and crush Harry. I sat down beside him and started to talk to him. He’d glance over at my boobs every now and then while pretending to write something, but didn’t say anything until I started to ask him questions. Turned out he really was writing something, it just looked like garbage because it was some computer language. He knows a couple dozen. He was another college student, a local and a few years ahead though, and he made food, rent and tuition by doing network admin.

He wouldn’t tell me why he was at the beach, just that he was trying out a new program he’d gotten. I told him that he could do that in his parent’s cellar, but he just glared at me for a moment and said “Not this program.” He hit a couple buttons and I caught another glimpse of the art program.

I knew he was good because of the job he did on the blonde earlier, but now I realized that he could have been an artist if he wanted to. From memory he’d drawn Judy, and he’d drawn her perfectly. There was maybe a bit too much emphasis on the boobs as her picture spun around, but right then I’d have killed for a rack like Judy’s. Or just her legs, I’d never realized how hot she really was, because she was used to dressing down from years of being a beanpole. She belonged on this stretch of beach, not me.

Then he went back to writing some other program, and I sort of nattered at him until he started talking again. I talked with him for a while to set him at ease, and actually it was pretty educational. I never knew that computers could do so much. For example, he wasn’t listening to a CD. I’d never heard of MP3s before, and most of the rest of my friends didn’t until Napster came out, but Harry had already been using them for years. I asked him about the art program again and what he was doing with it and he just blushed, said it was called Masterpiece, a good name for an art program, and went back to talking about the computer.

He was really sweet, sort of. He told me all sorts of geeky lies, like math is easy and I could learn to use computers if I really wanted to and stuff like that. That’s when I really realized what he was trying to do. Nerd flirting is pretty different and it’s easy to miss if you don’t know what to listen for. It’s mostly “you’re smarter than you think” and not so much the “you’re so beautiful” type stuff you’re supposed to use to get a girl to spread. Eventually that sort of got boring, so I moved on.

I put my hand on his leg and started to slowly slide it up. It probably would have been better if he’d been wearing swim trunks and I could actually touch him, but Harry’s got a problem with sunlight. I leaned in, kissed him on the cheek and made sure he felt lots of breast against his arm. Then I whispered to him that I wanted him to use that Masterpiece program to draw me later, with boobs however big he wanted.

He went red again, pulled the computer in closer to cover up what I’d just done to him (like he could cover that), and I giggled. I figured that I’d just make like I was going to blow him and take off with his pants. If he touched our stuff for revenge I’d never tell him where I hid them. I should have taken the hint then that it wouldn’t work, but the flash of wet heat I always get when I think about taking him with my mouth got confused with the rush of humiliating the guy in public.

Really giving him a blowjob before I took off definitely flashed across my mind more than once, but then I would have been trapped. I didn’t know how to give a decent blowjob. The first time I tried, I just about choked to death. The second time I brought the guy off, but choked and gagged the whole way through. Whatever knack you needed to have to do it right, I just didn’t have. And suffocating on a guy’s cock was not the way I wanted to die, so I couldn’t believe that I was considering trying it again with a guy I didn’t even know. He just looked, I don’t know, tasty.

“Why are you doing this?” he asked, stuttering as I closed in on his mouth and the computer hit the towel we were sitting on. At least this time he didn’t throw it into the sand.

I didn’t quite know either, so I just lied and got ready to grab and run. “Me? I’m a wild and crazy college girl looking for love, sex and adventure.”

Whamo! It all became clear. I stopped, listened to the surf and his computer whirring for a moment and thought about what I had said. Why just tease? Why pretend? Why not really be wild and crazy and give him, us, something to remember for the rest of our lives? Why be so dull and predicable? Besides, I’d come to the beach looking for some summer fun and a bit of steamy romance and he had that great big cock I’ve come to love since. A wild and crazy girl would do him just for the experience. On the beach, out in the open and to hell with what anyone else thought.

In psychology class I leaned about conditioning and social programming, but it never sunk in until then. All of a sudden, I was mad at myself for getting sucked into the whole housewife/supporting role mindset. I’d denied it, but I honestly believed I wouldn’t be happy without a husband, 2.4 kids and a white house in the suburbs. Well fuck that. If society figured that a girl who did what she wanted was wild and crazy, then I was going to be the wildest and craziest.

Well, there are limits. I wasn’t going to kill someone to see what it felt like, but grabbing a cute guy off the street and trying him out in an alley is an entirely different matter. (Actually did that few times. The first wasn’t too bad once I got him to stop worrying about his girlfriend, the third was lame and the second was gay. That was a real shame, because he looked like he had real potential.) What the hell, I thought. I might as well start with Harry and try out that cock of his.

He was obviously a serious tit man, so I started by taking my top off. While I wasn’t stacked, yet, it made a pretty big impression. He just sat and stared. I don’t think he’d seen real ones before, and the look on his face was just as good as the one I got when I showed up at his door a few years later to show off the new double Ds. I fucked him on his doorstep that time, but this time, the first time, I fucked him on a public beach. I already knew I was going to do him, because I wanted to. It just didn’t matter where.

He asked if he could touch them and I was like, “Duh. Why else did I take my top off?” He looked around nervously as if he expected someone to stop him, then his hands shot forward and locked on. He kind of gripped a bit to hard right off, but what’s life without a bit of pain, right? It’s all part of the adventure. Once he calmed down though... ooooooohhhh. He had such a soft touch and he used it just right. It was probably from all of the typing he does, but he used his fingers way better than any of the other guys I’d dated and let past first. Harry shouldn’t even have been on the ball team, but he had struck a home run in the first minute of play. I couldn’t wait to see what he’d do when he slid into home plate. Judy and her movie were dead on so far.

Harry’s face was empty, like he wasn’t thinking at all, like he was just as lost in the sensation as I was. My heart raced and I, honest to god, tingled. I had goose bumps all over. I couldn’t stop myself from pressing into him. I wished I had bigger breasts just to give him more to feel, I almost wish now that I had the implants then. I’d have given him a real show. But if I had them then I probably wouldn’t have decided to surprise him, we wouldn’t have made out in his doorway and I wouldn’t be wondering if I should marry him now. I’d probably still be wasting myself on better looking guys who were total losers in the sack.

He looked at me, his eyes imploring. He wanted something, but he didn’t have the guts to ask. Fortunately for both of us, I’m not stupid. I made like I was going to kiss him. I leaned in closer, closer, cloooooser, and then I “accidentally” fell over and pulled his head into a breast. His light touch is nothing compared to what his lips can do. He had me mewling like a cat and sighing begging him to do it to the other one. There was no way he could satisfy both at the same time, but I swear he did his best. In all of our rolling around and my thrashing, I don’t know how we kept from crushing his computer.

Then I found myself beneath him and caught him looking at his computer. While I’d still love to see what he could do with me and that old art program, there was no way I was going to compete with a machine, so I cheated. I rolled him onto his back, grabbed his head in a vice grip, and raped his mouth. He didn’t open up fast enough for me and I just jammed my tongue past his lips and in. I totally stole first base. I was on first, he was on second and I couldn’t wait to wrap my hands around third. I mean really, this is what I’d been looking for: a little summer romance before college dragged me back into its clutches.

I got tired of it getting in the way, so I pulled his hat off. He actually let go of me to put it on again, and I just about slapped him. “But I’ll burn!” he complained. “So what?” I replied. “The hotter it is, the better.” I pushed him over and went back to my stuff, Judy’s stuff really, and pulled out the heavy duty sunscreen. I had to hurry back, because he looked like he wanted to get back to the computer for something. I slid the stupid thing away from him, and then I pushed him back over and sat on him.

Our arms were sort of a tangle as I started to take off his shirt and he tried to stop me. I couldn’t get a good enough grip to unbutton it right with him flailing at my arms, so I gave up and tore it open. I wanted to see what he was hiding under all those clothes, I wasn’t too impressed, but he wasn’t as bad as I thought he’d be. He wasn’t flabby, just white and unimpressively soft. He could have been ok looking with a bit of effort and exercise, but at the time he was a loss.

Rubbing sunscreen on someone’s supposed to be erotic, but it isn’t so hot when the guy you are covering is mushy, ticklish and fighting you every step of the way. Also it helps if you know how to give a good massage. (I took a class on that a few years later, but it’s still a waste. I put the stuff on, we get all worked up doing it and then we spend the next hour or two sweating it back off and Harry burns to a crisp. Oh well, you live and learn. It’s all part of the adventure.) I finally got him calmed down when I promised that he could put some on me later. All of me. When I was done, he was still kind of mad about my wrecking his shirt, but I shut him up with plenty of tongue. Lying on top of him I got away with a lot more and I had to because he started walking his fingers up my back. By the time he reached the top, I’d have died if I didn’t cum soon.

I hate to interrupt the hot parts, but Harry is kind of hard to describe. He knows all of the really good spots and how to toy with them just right. If Harry really knew what he was doing, he’d have proposed while toying with me. I’ll do or say anything for him then. And not just on me, I’ve seen him do it to some other girls too. A few minutes in his arms and they’re just screaming for it just like I do. I remember one time, about a year ago, I dared Harry to show this one ice queen in a bar what it was all about and it took him like a minute to have her begging to come home with us. She was pretty sweet, but we had to throw her back. When Harry was warming her up in the back of the car, I saw she had a high school bus pass in her purse. Even I’m not that crazy.

Some of the Playboy bunnies (can I write that here?) around us were watching and giggling. Some of them wandered off, probably to find their own guys because this stretch of beach was, excluding Harry, Sapphic Heaven, some watched and a couple even started making out. Like I said: Sapphic Heaven. What was good was none of them raised a fuss as I dry humped him, so I decided to be a bit less wild and a lot more crazy.

I was the great white huntress and I knew exactly how to catch my prey, besides my lips were tired of his tongue. It was too small and not nearly wild enough. I’d kissed plenty of guys before, but I hardly ever blew guys and I’d never sucked one off on the beach before. I was going to get rid of all of that good girl social programming. Today I was going to be wild and crazy. Little miss college slut who teases the nerd all the way through the movie before falling in love and screwing him at the end, but I was cutting out most of the first and second acts and going straight to the fun part.

I don’t think he realized what I was doing until after I had him unzipped and then the look on his face was awesome! He was terrified of getting caught, but completely horny. And really big too, I’d make a Moby Dick joke, but it was the only part of him that wasn’t white. I’ve measured him since and he’s a little over 8 and a half inches. (Harry was grinning when he pointed out that it was almost exactly 22 centimeters. I never did much science so I guess I don’t get his fixation on metric.) I’ve done some bigger guys, but Harry’s always felt the best. Once I get him in I just start cumming, like it’s magic or something and no one tastes better. Everyone else is sort of salty and bitter, but Harry’s sweet like candy and sucking him off always just makes me hornier.

Harry asked “Are you going to give me a blow job?” He looked incredulous. “Sure, I do it all the time,” I lied. “I can suck you off better than anyone.”

I ignored the whir and click of the computer beside my head. This time the damn thing was laughing at me, but I’d show it. I was going to give Harry the best head, ever. As I flicked my tongue out and across the head of his cock, he jumped a bit, so I knew I’d made a good start. Sure, I really only gave two. One and a half, maybe, because I didn’t really finish the first time, but I figured how would Harry know? Obviously he was a nerd, so nobody’d ever have gone down on him before. I kissed the tip and massaged it with my lips for a moment before he jerked and thrust and something amazing happened: I took him most of the way. That’s something I still can’t do for anyone else. I’ll get a guy in about 2” and start gagging, but Harry’s whole 8 ½” is easy. It goes down like butter, like we were made for each other.

I was completely stunned, and lifted my head back up. I felt it sliding back out and instead of choking, I swallowed. He bucked upwards, sinking himself completely this time and groaned. He liked it obviously, so I swallowed again and again while sliding it up and down my throat. He totally exploded in seconds, but I didn’t get much out of that because it was over so quick. I tried again, slower this time and this time I didn’t take him as deep. I just sort of played with him with my lips and tongue. I even stroked him with my fingers a bit, but the main event was happening in my mouth and between my legs. I started to go all tingly again and I was moaning as much as he was, more in fact because, while I was really getting off, he’d almost stopped breathing. Great lover or not, he’s never had any stamina when I go down on him unless I’m really, really careful, but at least he doesn’t start hyperventilating anymore when I get him close. All the climbing and hiking has really helped him.

I blew him just so I could say I’d done it, and it was unbelievable. I didn’t cough that time, I didn’t gag and I didn’t feel the least bit self conscious. There was nothing holding me back this time since I’d made the decision to be wild and crazy. Hell, I couldn’t wait for him to calm down so I could try again, but a wild and crazy girl’s going to do it all and ask for a bigger helping for seconds.

He was still gasping for breath and more than half unconscious, but rock hard. I took one good look at him lying on his back, twitching, and I think I felt myself up for a while waiting for him to wake all the way up. Finally I thought to myself “Fuck it. He’s already hard, so I might as well use it.” For my second helping I slipped off the rest of my bikini, grabbed hold and got ready to see how much I could fit in one go, cowgirl style.

I was determined to be his first time, but I was robbed. He says he was a virgin, but no way. My first, Rod, had done dozens of girls and he had nothing on Harry’s so-called first time. I have no idea who had been sleeping with him, but I owe her a lot. So I was mad that I didn’t get his cherry and madder later when he lied about being a virgin, but still not mad enough that I wouldn’t do it again. That wouldn’t have been mad. It would have been stupid or insane.

His eyes snapped open as I sunk him into me, and he sucked in a breath. If I’d known this was all that I had to do to get him breathing right again, I would have done it earlier. He felt perfect in me. He totally filled me. I felt like all of me could feel all of him and just having him in me, stretching me, was enormously pleasant. I could have sat there with him in me all day, but I was just too horny to sit still.

Anyway, I sort of leisurely rode him while he calmed down, and then he started to do things, some of them I never even dreamed of. He bent a little to make sure he got the G-spot when he thrust back up and that felt really nice, but what he did to really set me off was caress every tender, erogenous part of my body with those fingers of his. He sat up and began to feast on my breasts like he’d never get enough. I knew I never would.

So, the slow leisurely fuck was a thing of the past, and I thought I was going to start hyperventilating as I bounced up and down on his cock. I wanted to be wild and crazy? I sure felt wild and he definitely drove me crazy. I couldn’t stop the moans from turning into yelling for stuff like “Harder! Fuck me deeper! Faster! Make me cum! ” My legs burned from the pace, and I felt him pressing against the end of the line with almost every thrust. His fingers danced over my hips, guiding me faster and faster by raising my need for it higher and higher. I needed to cum so badly that I was already screaming, and I never made much noise before, but I swear the jerk toyed with me and dragged it out.

He does that a lot, keeping me on full boil that is. I think he gets off more from watching me squirm and rock and beg than from what’s happening around his cock. I admit that I love it afterwards, but he’s the worst bastard in the world while he’s doing it. He’s even got a bit of a scarring on one shoulder from one time when he waited too long. I’m not sure whether my nails cut him open before or during the most intense orgasm of my life, but stitches make a guy a bit more careful. It also makes a great conversation starter. The explanation brought one very nice looking, Hispanic girl home for a weekend once and that finally got Harry to do a three-way.

Anyway, it turns out that this time teasing me extra long was a really good thing, because, just before he drove me completely nuts with this Vulcan nipple pinch sort of thing he does, I spotted Alice and Judy leading a train of guys back and motioned for them to keep quiet. I was afraid that if Harry knew we were being watched, he’d stop and I’d have killed him if he did. I don’t think he had a clue until I told him later, because he kept thrusting up into me in time with my downward drives so he’d go deeper. Then he did the Vulcan thing, and I didn’t care about anything anymore.

Whatever Rod and Gavin and Paul did for me in the past, it wasn’t orgasm. Or it wasn’t orgasm done right. I couldn’t stop. Normally I’d lay back and enjoy a couple twinges, but Harry never lets me do that. I fucked right into the first one, and I didn’t even know what hit me until I was looking straight up and screaming out the third or fourth one. I felt nothing but the pulses. Harry would slam in deep, my whole body’d light up while it built into white hot lightning burning me inside out for a fraction of a second, and then shoot out my mouth just in time for it to start all over. As much as it hurt my throat later, the screaming was another good thing: it drowned out the idiot in our audience who started cheering.

I was lost. I would have done anything to or for him then, but it would have had to wait until I was done thrashing, moaning and shouting. And the stuff I was screaming with that first blow-out, now that was wild and crazy. I barely remember any of it, but it and the whole scene really must have turned on Alice and Judy. Before Harry pulled me over and practically bent me in two driving me into another wild ride, I saw my friends getting into it with a couple of the guys they brought. The bunnies were all over the rest.

One afternoon with Harry was a real sexual education, that’s why I know he couldn’t have been a virgin. He was doing all the stuff I was calling out for before I started asking for it. I might have well just screamed the whole time for more, because I never knew what he would do next. Half of it I didn’t even know you could do or that it would cause explosions like that in my body.

We were having so much fun, and so totally lost in each other, that we didn’t notice the tide came in until after it totally fried his computer. There was this loud “CRACK!”, a bunch of popping sounds and Harry really, really freaked out. I don’t blame him. The thing must have cost him a couple thousand bucks. Me, I was pissed off that he stopped. I was even more pissed off because he did sunburn all over and I couldn’t touch him for like a week.

But as soon as I could, I was all over him. He didn’t quite get why I was pestering him. “Uhm hello, you gave me the fucking of my life,” was what I finally told him when I tracked him down at his job. His response was his stupid virgin defense, “I didn’t know. I thought it was always like that.” I held him down and tried to prove him wrong, but he was right. With him, it’s always like that, but he’s always finding new stuff to do, so I never really know what to expect. He said it was just instinct, I thought he was sleeping around on me. Not that it mattered much, I was certainly sleeping around on him and, after a disappointing evening with some other guy, I wasn’t giving the sex up. Neither was Harry, even if I almost did cost him his job when we got caught. I brought a gag the next time I did him at work.

I badgered him for a while to draw me with big tits so I could see what I’d look like, but he lost his copy of the Masterpiece program when his computer blew up and couldn't find another. It was a real shame because he was really good at it, but I still don't get why he couldn't just get, or write, another program. It’s probably a good thing though. If I’d known how great I look with double Ds, I’d probably have blown my tuition on cheap implants and my parents would have killed me.

But he made up for it, with a lot of prompting sometimes, over the next few months. He sure was reluctant for a guy who enjoyed it so much when I finally managed to get his pants off. Maybe he wouldn’t have been so reluctant if we did it in hotels or his apartment or places like that, but sex in bed is just so...pedestrian.

Sure, by the end of the summer I could screw him practically in public, sometimes, but he was still pretty shy in silly ways. I’ve only really been able to get him dancing in the last few years and it’s strictly ballroom. He’s got this pathological fear of clubs or something, but he can flirt with a girl in a bar now and I once got him to convince one, little miss teen ice queen I wrote about earlier, to come home with us. Too bad that didn’t work out, because I haven’t been able to get him to do it since. I think our accidentally making out in the parking lot with a sixteen year old scared him. We would have been sooo busted if we got caught. All I can say is she sure didn’t look sixteen, so I sure can’t fault the bouncers for letting her in the first place. I have her name, though, so maybe we can look her up in another year or so and let her in on what she really missed. Give her a graduation present or something. Probably should since we left her hungry, and, after a bunch of teenagers have muffed it for her, she’ll be really wild now.

Anyway, having massive amounts of great sex was how I spent most of the summer, but the rest was exploring other new things or working. I tried taking Harry dancing, but he was terrible and would just lock up. Instead I’d drag him swimming or on hikes. We both liked the hikes because there was always somewhere else to go and see and usually plenty of bushes or out of the way areas for “rest breaks”. It wasn’t until after we got back together that we started sky diving, rock climbing and really going to wild places.

Then school started up again so I had to leave, and I’d been getting a bit restless. A wild and crazy girl doesn’t just do one guy, she sort of shares the wealth, or that’s what I thought then. Now I know that you can get just as dirty with one guy as you can with a dozen, just not all at once. That's kind of a waste anyway, because when it's over, it’s sort of over for all of them. If you're going to do twelve guys, here’s a hint: Only do them two at a time, three at the most, and rotate them. That way they last longer. But I don’t have to worry about stuff like that with Harry. He just spoils me for endurance. Right up until I start sucking on him that is, at that point he totally loses it, so I save that for when I need to get him in the mood or have to get going somewhere.

Anyway I went back to school and slept up a storm, Judy dropped out and sort of wild and crazy Alice thought that Judy and I were being too wild and crazy. After she caught me with her boyfriend, things really went sour. It wasn’t worth it. He wasn’t worth fighting over (There’s nothing more annoying than a guy who thinks you should cum just from being with him), so I gave him right back. But Alice just kept freaking out, and finally me and Judy came home from a club one night to find our stuff had been dumped on the lawn. I was really pissed. We never found my stereo or CD collection again. I lost track of Alice after that, but I still see Judy a lot. We work out together sometimes and I do the books for a couple of the clubs on her circuit, on top of my day job, and sometimes we mess around a bit on stage. I’ve got these fake glasses and do a mean sexy secretary or arousing accountant.

In 2002 I graduated with a degree in Actuarial Accounting, mostly because (Harry’s flirting was right!) math really is easy if you try. Mom and dad, probably because they didn’t know what I’d really been up to at school and also because they were in shock that I actually did get a degree in something useful, gave me some money to get started in business. Instead I added it to my savings, got implants, and went into a completely different business. My parents have never really forgiven me, but if I hadn’t wanted to show the implants off to someone I knew would really appreciate them, I’d never have hooked up with Harry again.

Now that I think about it, it was probably because I’d stumbled across his address looking up people’s names online that I decided to get the implants in the first place. Whatever reason, I showed up topless at his door, he freaked out and, with very little prompting this time, he reminded me what real sex felt like. And when he went topless I could see he’d been doing some work too, but he still doesn’t tan. I really wish there was some sort of magic cure for that sun problem, because I really want to go to rock climbing and exploring in Africa and Harry would fry the second he stepped off the plane.

Anyway, I moved in with him a few months later when I woke up one morning and realized that I hadn’t even been back to my apartment for a week. All of the clothes I liked to wear had migrated, suit by suit, to Harry’s. Judy could afford the place by herself by then so it was all good. And now Harry’s proposed.

So that is the day I decided not to just pretend to be a wild and crazy girl, but to actually do something about it (along with a few other days). And today’s the day Harry finally decided to do something about his wild and crazy girl, but I’m not sure I’m the marrying type. What do you all think I should do?

Tanya R.


Some readers may have made the connection between the Masterpiece 3D morphing software and JRParz’s Master PC (which, by the way, you should read, if you haven’t). They are one and the same. I’ve been messing around with Voice Activated Master PC, here and there, for quite a while and the idea of a few snooty girls warping themselves into sluts while teasing a nerd had been bouncing around for a really long time. Thank you, JR Parz, for opening up Master PC for use and abuse.

What really got this idea made into a story was Twofold:

  1. A test read of Dear Clubhouse Letters:Police Action for Born Blitzed provided the media hook of making it a Clubhouse Letter. My thanks goes out to Born Blitzed for allowing me to do this.

  2. The idea that the nerd was planning to “edit” the tease, but never got the chance because she did it to herself. In most MPC tales, the user has the victim custom crafted to the user’s carnal desires. I figured that it was about time that the victim had her day.