The 1st Polish Cavalry made its way through the forest, the road barely visible in the moonlight.
This was not how Shanna wanted to return home. Sneaking back at night, hoping to God above that nobody saw them. But, then, this isn't how she had wanted to be a soldier.
She turned her head, looking back down the line of her men. Past the five Elves, dark cloaks hiding their non-human features. Past Anelie, the teen girl she should never have let come. Her eyes focused on Helmut, his lifeless form wrapped in linen, draped over the saddle of his horse.
She had killed him.
It had been a game. Despite all these people had been through, all the death and war around them, she had thought it was a game. Being a soldier. Fighting. Training. Even as she knew the truth of war, the evilness of it, the horror... the movies and stories she had grown up with STILL romanticized it. Still implanted in her young mind the idea that there was honor to be had, glory. Fun. And... it had been. The months she had been here, once the loss of her entire family, entire world, was discounted, had been some of the happiest in her life. She loved her men. Loved them in ways she had not thought possible. The love and friendship... no, love and LOYALTY they returned overwhelmed her.
And she had killed one of them.
She didn't want this. Wasn't cut out for this. Didn't want to fight. To... kill. As she returned her gaze to the dark road ahead, the face of the second Elf she had fought rose before her. Her blade hacked into his neck. Red blood spurting out. The pain, the horror, in his eyes.
She had murdered.
Daddy hadn't raised his daughter to be a murderer.
Her eyes closed. Shanna was tired. That was all. When was the last time she had slept? Truly slept? Before they set sail from the Frog village, probably. Two days ago. God. Only two days?
She wished Piotr was here.
Anelie rode up beside her. Back in full armor, the redhead's long braid extended from the back of her helmet like a tail. A... head tail. Shanna was distracted for a moment, wondering if the girl had cut a hole in the metal cone to make room. It was too dark to tell, and she couldn't remember if she had noticed before. She blinked, yawning.
"What is it, Anelie?"
"It's our guests, Lady Shanna. They're not used to horses. I think they need a stop, so we can adjust the saddles."
Shanna was tempted to not care what the blasted Elves needed. She wanted to get home, a home only an hour away. Still, as always, the girl had a point. She raised a hand, reining in her mount.
"Good idea. OK, everyone, short break. Jacek, set out four pickets, make sure we're not disturbed."
"Yes, Lady."
"Anelie." The girl stopped in the process of dismounting, moving back up into her saddle. "I should have sent someone before. Go on ahead, get the fort ready for us. One room for the Queen, another for her men. Somewhere we can guard but which gives them room."
Anelie considered.
"There's those three rooms on the west end. If I kick those two cooks out, that gives them a common room."
"It's a thought. Go see what works."
"Yes, Lady Shanna!" Even in the dark, Shanna could see the glow on the girl's face, the excitement at being trusted enough to do this. She could only laugh tiredly as Anelie kicked into the side of her beast, setting off on her mission.
What would Shanna do without her?
****
The wooden gates of home.
Shanna led the column into the fort. Lanterns were lit, hanging from posts around the parade ground. To her surprise, it looked like Anelie had awoken every person in the place. Cooks, stable boys... wives.
Helmut's wife stood alone, surrounded by her adopted family. The dark haired woman was almost at attention, shoulders back, eyes on the returning soldiers. The other women of the fort were arrayed behind her, silent. Shanna felt tears coming once again. Reining in, she quickly dismounted.
"Close the gates!"
Two men ran to swing the large log doors shut. Shanna moved forward, eyes on the widow.
"Melisa, I'm sorry."
"I'm a soldier's wife. I... I knew..."
The facade broke. A wail of sorrow burst forth from the woman, face buried in her hands. The women of the fort erupted towards her, a wave of comfort and sympathy. Shanna stood there a moment, letting grief have its time. Her eyes found Anelie, standing a bit aside from the other women, black armor in stark contrast to their house dresses and nightgowns. She didn't know how to interpret the girl's expression. Nor did it matter. With a deep sigh, Shanna raised her voice.
"We will grieve, but now there is a matter of life and death that you must know." All eyes fell on her. "Starting now, we will have guests staying with us. Guests who are to be treated well, no matter what hate you feel in your heart. They will be kept under guard, but not under lock and key."
There were gasps. Turning, Shanna saw that Catty had let the hood of her cloak fall away. Her men did the same, the murmurs from the humans increasing as the nature of the visitors became clear. Shanna spoke more firmly.
"No mention of our visitors is to be made outside this fort until King James decides to announce their presence. If you love him... if you love me...." She said the last reluctantly. She did not feel like she deserved their love right then. "You will keep this knowledge secret, safe. I am trusting the safety of all of Poland to you."
She smiled a tired smile.
"And there are no people in this world I trust more."
****
"I hope these rooms work, for now. In the morning we can arrange better."
Shanna watched as the Elven Queen moved into the first bedroom. Two beds, little more than cots, stood on one side, a small nightstand between them. A small writing desk, a table with two chairs. Sparse furnishings, as un-royal as could be imagined. Still, they were clean, warm. Secure. Catty turned to her.
"We have slept in far worse. Thank you."
"Is there anything you need, while most of my people are still up?"
The young Elf considered, looking around.
"Perhaps... a pitcher of water, and glasses?"
"Of course." Shanna turned to the woman behind her. "Brygitta, could you go to the kitchen?"
The woman's expression said all, but she nodded to Shanna and left on her task. Shanna sighed. You could not blame them for the hate. Not after all that had happened. Not after one of their own had died for these Elves. BECAUSE of these Elves. Shanna leaned against the doorframe, arms folded over her armored chest.
"You can divide yourselves up however you want, as these three rooms are yours. I won't set a guard on each door, but there will be guards down the hall. They're there to protect you as much as to protect us, so don't do anything to make them nervous. If you need something, just let them know then return to your room."
"I understand, Lady Shanna. Thank you."
The Elf nodded, making a sort of curtsy with her dress. Shanna just let out a tired sigh.
"Oh, you're welcome, Lady Catty. Good night."
****
Shanna stood in her room, wooden door swinging shut behind her. It closed with a solid click, its latch catching.
She was alone.
Her eyes closed, the dim glow of the oil lamps someone had lit for her still seen through her eyelids. She didn't want to be alone. Not tonight. Not after all of this.
Piotr.
She wanted Piotr. Needed him. Why wasn't he here? Yes, she had sent him back to the palace, and, yes, he probably was with his men, doing the King's bidding, but why wasn't he here? Why hadn't he set all that aside, come to the fort to greet her? Or ridden back up the road to meet up with them?
Didn't he know she needed to be held?
God, she was pathetic. Opening her eyes, her fingers went to the side straps on her breastplate. And why wasn't Anelie there, to help her? Just because the girl was no longer her page or squire or whatever, and was a real soldier, was no reason she shouldn't be there to help Shanna... OK, yes it was. Shanna let out a small laugh. She could get out of her own clothes from now on. She was a big girl. Tired fingers worked the buckles.
With a bang, the black armor fell to the floor.
Well, that probably wasn't the best way to treat something that had saved her life. Maybe she'd polish it tomorrow, to make up for the mistreatment. She'd never done that, always letting Anelie do it. It was about time she started taking care of herself.
While the room was not cold, especially compared to the night air outside, Shanna began to feel some of the chill. Hands moving quickly, she shed her clothing, letting them drop to the floor. Tomorrow. She'd deal with them tomorrow. Boots and socks kicked off, she shuffled to the bed. Stopping at the side, she contemplated the effort needed to pull back the covers, to crawl inside.
With a thump, her nude body fell forward onto the mattress.
She didn't want to move. She could just sleep like this. Her front would be warm, which would compensate for her ass getting cold. A trade well worth it. She could just fall asleep, alone...
The sound of the door opening came to her ears. There was a pause, followed by the sound of it closing swiftly. Someone was in the room. She could sense it, even without turning. Shanna let out a groan into the mattress. Realizing she needed more room to breathe, let alone speak coherently, she turned her head to the left, towards the foot of the bed.
"What is it?"
There were footsteps. Soft. Anelie. Her voice was quiet, unsure.
"I came to help you undress, Lady Shanna. To get you ready for bed."
"Too late."
"I know, I'm sorry. I..."
"You're a soldier now, Anelie." Shanna lifted herself up a bit, rising to her elbows. "You have your own armor and weapons to take care of."
"Then I don't want to be a soldier."
"What?" Shanna rolled onto her side, looking down past her body at the teen. Anelie stood a few feet away, a loose black shirt and pants hurriedly tossed on her body. She held her hands clutched before her.
"I want to serve you. I..."
Shanna frowned, clearly missing something.
"You are."
"No, I mean, I want to be your soldier. Your scout. I do! But I also want to be here with you! You..." Her voice changed. Lowered. "You shouldn't be alone, Shanna."
Shanna rolled onto her back with a groan. Her feet didn't quite touch the floor as they hung off the bed.
"That damned Piotr. I need him, and he's not here."
"He's never here."
"Yeah, well, that's mostly me. He's supposed to know when I need him, though." A chill ran through her body. Shanna closed her eyes, arms moving to hug herself. An image of her sword thrust into the head of some poor Elf appeared. She closed her eyes tighter.
"I... I'm here, Lady Shanna."
The mattress moved. Shanna felt someone, Anelie, climbing on the end. She opened her eyes, turning her head. Anelie stood on her hands and knees on the bed, head almost directly above Shanna's. The girl's shirt hung down, the wide neck giving Shanna a good view right down her body. She could see the girl's small white breasts hanging down, light red freckles visible in the lamp light. Raising her eyes, she saw Anelie's green ones looking down at her. Her tired mind was very confused.
"Anelie..."
"Let me... let me take care of you, Lady Shanna. I want to. Please."
"What do you mean?"
One of the redhead's hands lifted off the mattress. It hesitated, then moved towards Shanna's face. Shanna's eyes widened as she felt warm fingers touch her cheek.
"What are you...?"
"Iloveyou." It came out as one word, shouted as much as whispered.
Shanna blinked. Her mind tried to translate, not helped by the confusing feelings Anelie's caresses were sending through her body. She saw Anelie close her own eyes for a moment, as if gathering herself.. She opened them again, staring straight into Shanna's soul.
"I love you, Shanna. I always have. I always will."
Shanna was an idiot. Always had been, always would be. Of course Anelie was in love with her. Why else would she have been the way she had been, acted like she had for all those months? Only an idiot wouldn't be able to see it. Thus, she was an...
Even as those thoughts went through her head, Shanna saw her friend's head lower. Saw those green eyes close.
Their lips touched.
****
The joke had been, as college had approached, which of Shanna's group of friends would be the first to go Lez. Which of them, in a drunken moment, would make out with some girl, be it stranger or roommate. It appeared to be the in thing to do, if the internet was to believed. A way to be different, rebel against your parents, maybe impress that guy. A way to make money, if you were exhibitionist enough to film yourself. And, hey, it would probably feel great.
Shanna had not known if she would ever go that far. As far as sex. Kissing a girl? Sure, why not. It's not like she saw such a thing as 'wrong'. And, maybe, she'd make out with someone she liked, if it seemed right. Not if she was with a guy, though. Not if she had a boyfriend. She never cheated. Never. Never...
****
Shanna's arm came up, her hand pressing lightly against Anelie's shoulder. The kiss broke, the girl raising her head up, green eyes wide as they stared down at Shanna. Anelie spoke before Shanna could even gather her thoughts.
"Oh, God! That was...! Wow! I've never!" Shanna could not help but blink as the gushing girl she had first met after the bridge was back before her. "God, Lady Shanna, I love you so much! Let me love you! My brother told me stuff, about how to be with a woman, so I know what I'm doing! Let me stay with you tonight! Please!
Anelie's hand began to slide off Shanna's cheek, onto her neck. Her senses coming back to her, Shanna grabbed it with her free hand, the other still pressing up at Anelie's shoulder.
"No."
It came out a bit louder than she intended, perhaps a bit meaner. Anelie almost reared up, like she had been slapped. Only Shanna's light hold on her hand kept her on her knees.
"What?"
"I said, no. No, Anelie."
Now it was the girl who looked confused. Shanna released her hand, forcing herself to sit up on the edge of the bed. Anelie sat up too, legs folded under her. The girl looked like a hurt puppy.
"Why, Lady Shanna?"
"Because..." Shanna paused. No reason came to her mind. Not one that could stand up to the naked emotion on her friend's face. She did love Anelie. A love of friendship, companionship.
"You said," Anelie said, eyes beginning to cry, "where you came from, boys could love boys, girls could love girls. You said it was OK. That made me so happy! It meant I could love you! I LOVE you, Shanna! With all my heart! Please! Let me love you!"
"There's more too it than that," Shanna told her. "And, I'm with Piotr. I..."
"He's never with you!" She almost spat it out. "He doesn't care for you like I do!"
That was probably true. Beside the point, at the moment, but Shanna had to sigh at the truth of it. She reached out, touching Anelie's knee.
"That's not..." She paused, the words of a few moments ago coming back to her. She gave Anelie a confused look. "Um, did you say your brother taught you how to be with a woman?"
"Yes." Anelie's face became confused as well, another instant mood swing for the teen. Shanna cocked her head.
"Bogdi."
"Yes."
"Bogdi taught you about sex."
"Yes."
"Did he... did you two..."
"Oh! God no!" Anelie's face went from surprise to disgust, before breaking into laughter. "God no! No! He... he just told me!"
"Thank God!" Shanna let herself fall back onto the bed, laughing. "That would be so gross!"
"I know! God! Yuck!"
The tension broken, a wave of exhaustion flowed over Shanna. Her eyes closed. The mattress moved.
"Here, Lady Shanna. Let's get you into bed."
"Bed..."
Warm, strong hands pushed parts of her body up, the covers pulled away under her. She let her legs be lifted up onto the bed, her body swung around like a child being tucked in. She did more herself up towards her pillow, sighing as her head found its home. The heavy quilt was pulled up over her chest, stopping under her chin.
As she slipped into sleep, she felt a kiss on her forehead.
"Sweet dreams, my love…"