Obligatory Disclaimer:

This review is taken from Celestial Reviews by Celeste (Celeste801@aol.com).
The review was written independently of consultation with the author and
does not imply collaboration.

                                       *  

"Autumn Sonata" by David Lawrence.  Guest review by Dart.

This is a nice, but longish, story that examines in some detail the
transformation of a friendship, during the course of a single evening, into
an erotic relationship.

The heart of the story is a walk which two recent friends, David and Autumn,
each recovering from emotional damage, take together on a cold, snowy
evening. There is a third character in the story, Janet, a friend of David's
and of Autumn's; but her role is relegated to the story's setup, and to
watching over Autumn's two children the evening of David and Autumn's walk.

Their walk begins at Janet's home. Autumn has planned on spending the
evening alone, but it's a ten block walk to her house and David thinks she's
ill- prepared for the cold and the snow. Since his apartment is on her way
and only four blocks away, he insists that they walk there so he can outfit
her with an extra layer of clothing. After he finds extra clothing for her,
and insists that she put them on before continuing her walk, he helps her
into a second pair of socks and a pair of his older boots. She enjoys the
touch of his hand on her leg, but suppresses the emotion. Since her
disillusioning divorce, she has been denying or controlling many of her
feelings.

When she's ready to leave, David suggests that he walk her home, since he
was planning to go for a walk anyway. Autumn reluctantly accepts his offer.
After they start off, David offers a modest alteration in their path. He'd
like to take her by the house where he was raised. She accepts the
alteration, but is saddened by the sight that greets them: A dark, empty
house with a "For Sale" sign in the front yard. David's mother died six
months ago, and his siblings want their share. David claims the house is too
large for him anyway, but Autumn is saddened, and is reminded of tears in
her own past life.

When they continue their walk, Autumn offers her own modest alteration, and
David accepts. They walk to the highest point of the town's park, and when
there, Autumn informs him that this is the spot where she had buried her
wedding ring. David needs to be told why she has told him this, and she
tells him; and with the telling a crack appears in her carefully controlled
emotions, her reserve falters, and she grows almost loquacious.
 
When they finally reach Autumn's apartment, her mood has altered
significantly from when they left Janet's home, and consequently, she
invites David up for something hot to drink. He accepts, and builds a fire
while she prepares the hot drinks. And then all those layers of clothing
need to come off, and they do, in a long, caring and passionate sexual
encounter.

There's a wealth of detail in this forty-page story that the author uses
adroitly to develop several interesting characters and weave their lives
together in a realistic plot. It was a nice story to read. And it's clear
that a story this long and this well written took a considerable amount of
effort. The author, David L, kindly acknowledges the proofreading assistance
of his wife and additional unspecified help from Kristen. I would suggest
that he also enlist the assistance of one of Celeste's proofreaders. Not
because the story is badly written - it is not as I hope I've made clear
above; but because readers close to the author - I speak from personal
experience - sometimes are, along with the author, too excited with the
story to catch every little flaw.

Ratings for "Autumn Sonata"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 10
Dart (appeal to reviewer): 9


[Comments by David:  Ordinarily, anyone ought to be happy with a rating
of 9-10-9, but for *this* story, it almost feels like a slap in the face.
Four other stories in the same edition of Celestial reviews got 10-10-10,
and it's hard to believe this story was worse than any of those.  I note 
that the actual words of the review are kind, only the final number is
disappointing to me.

As to the 9 on technical merit, I can only assume this reviewer has much
higher standards than many others.  I'm sure there are some technical flaws
left in the story, despite my many proofreading passes and the efforts of
two others.  But it has to be far cleaner than "End of the Innocence", which
I only proofread once before sending, and which got a "10" in this category.
I can't believe any technical flaw remained in "Autumn Sonata" that would
detract from anyone's enjoyment of it, after my time-consuming efforts to
eliminate them.  I will, however, be spending even more time on proofreading
very carefully before posting in the future.

I have no control over the readers like or dislikes in stories.  I assume
that either the reviewer wasn't fond of serious romance, or thought the
story too long, or both, hence the point deduction in 'appeal to reviewer'. 
I'm sure I could have gotten a 10 from others, but perhaps an 8 or below
from someone else.  This is a crapshoot, and here I came up close but no
cigar.

I suppose I'm disappointed because I put so much effort into this story,
revising it again and again and again in an attempt to get it just like I
wanted it.  I finally finish after weeks getting it just right, and it comes
up rated lower than a story I myself spent far less time on.  But again, I
realize that this is the luck (or lack thereof) of the draw.  Hopefully, the
story will slowly become known among those who look for more than just
arousal in erotica, and rise in the estimation of the public.

I'm grateful to the readers than have taken the time to write me that
they liked or were even emotionally touched by this story.  They are the
best reviewers.]