!ADULTS ONLY! Surelick Homes Meets the Evil Dr. Phallus!

"WHATSIN, you know how well I am at disguises, don't you? Well, believe me, I can make you up as a woman so convincingly, you would have dozens of erections on your tail just by walking down the street." Dr. Whatsin knew full well that if anyone could do this seemingly impossible task, Homes could.

"But, Homes, what about Dr. Phallus' anal test? I'd scream bloody murder, I can tell you!" He crossed his arms in front of himself as if in defiance. But deep down he knew that Homes had it all figured out and before you could say, Bob's your uncle, he'd have the evil doctor's penis up his old arse. While he didn't exactly relish the idea, he knew he couldn't let Homes down. The man was counting on him to do his part.

"KY Jelly, old fellow, a quick lesson in self-hypnosis and a practice run should be all it takes to make you the belle of the anal ball." Homes chuckled. "Now, Whatsin, shall we get started?" Dr. Whatsin nodded meekly. In for a penny, in for a pound, he thought.

An hour later, Whatsin, freshly shaved and dressed completely as a woman, complete with an ash blond wig, stood before the great detective. A short while more and the good doctor had make up on that looked as it it had been applied by an expert in the theatre. Homes looked pleased.

"My God, man!" Homes said. "I never realized how beautiful you could get. The transformation is unbelievable. Here, Whatsin, look in this mirror." He handed a small hand mirror to Dr. Whatsin.

Whatsin looked and he, too, could not believe his eyes. The creature that now stared back at him was truly a woman. Sensual and lovely. With lips that looked as if they were made for kissing, or for sucking. The doctor turned to Homes.

"You've outdone yourself, Homes, I must say." Homes nodded.

"Now, Whatsin, here comes the tough part. The test. If you would be so kind as to lift your skirt, as you saw Mrs. Handson do, relieve yourself of your knickers and bend over the arm of the sofa, we can proceed to the next step." Dr. Whatsin winced, but quietly obeyed. A moment later found him folded across the sofa's plush arm with his buttocks in the air. He felt quite exposed in this unfamiliar position. "Be gentle, Homes, will you?"

Homes didn't answer. He opened the tube of lube and applied a generous amount to the poor doctor's bum, inserting a finger as he did so. Dr. Whatsin groaned.

"Buck up, Whatsin! I haven't begun yet!" Whatsin nodded from his odd position. "Sorry, Homes." Then Dr. Whatsin remembered the hypnosis part. He had yet to be hypnotized. "Homes, what about the hypno . . . "

Too late. Homes' penis was already in his anus, past the sphincter and pushing forward. Then forward some more. And some more. All 4" was soon reached. And Dr. Whatsin had yet voiced even the mildest of screams. Which surprised him. He felt Homes' hands on his waist.

"I say, Homes, that hardly hurt at all. Feels quite nice as a matter of fact. It's as if . . . "

"Hush, Whatsin, you're interrupting my concentration, which is on your buttocks at the moment. I can't believe how girlish and feminine your arse looks to me. So round and soft looking." He started a pumping in and out action. "So luscious. So inviting. My God, man, we must do this more often!" Homes sounded gleeful to the dear doctor, who was now getting into the moment himself.

"Oh, Homes, that feels wonderful. So fantastic! Keep doing that, yes, like that. Oh, sweet lord, how nice." He started moaning with each Homesian stroke.

"Mmmm . . . mmmm . . . mmmm . . . " Then he lost it completely.

"Fuck me, Homes, fuck me! Give it to me, big poppa! Fuck my arse like crazy, you wild cowboy! Slip the juice to me, Bruce! Ooo eee, ooo ah ah, ting tang. Walla walla, bing bang! Ooo eee, ooo ah ah, ting tang, Walla walla, bing bang" Dr. Whatsin now knew why Mrs. Handson loved that song so much. When sung, it had the same rhythmic beat as arse fucking.

Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.

Homes sang, too, the beat of the silly song echoing in his head, matching his in and out strokes. They now sang together: "Ooo eee, ooo ah ah, ting tang. Walla walla, bing bang! Ooo eee, ooo ah ah, ting tang, Walla walla, bing bang!"

Finally, Homes pushed into Dr. Whatsin's rectum as far as he could, squeezed the man's waist tightly, and then stood stock still. He was releasing his seed into the good doctor's inner depths.

"Ooooooweeee, Whatsin, here I come, ready or not!" He moaned as he unloaded. Dr. Whatsin moaned in pleasure as he wiggled his ass against Homes' groin, feeling the roughness of the man's trousers. Homes' deerslayer cap fell from his head and landed on Dr. Whatsin's back. It was only then that the good doctor realized that Homes was still fully dressed for a severe winter. And he didn't care, either.

When they had finally uncoupled, and Dr. Whatsin had his knickers back in their proper place, the great detective poured them both a stiff brandy. It was then that the good doctor noticed that Homes hadn't used the KY Jelly, but had used jar Vaseline. That Homes, he thought, still proving his anal toughening up theory! He's a stickler, he is.

They enjoyed their brandy and discussed the need for another go at anal intercourse before sending the good doctor out as bait. They agreed another round couldn't hurt.

Thus, they did it again, but this time with more loving passion thrown in consisting of a few mouth kisses, just in case Dr. Phallus was a stickler for feminine detail. This time, Homes used the KY Jelly. A test between the two lubricants. After this go round, Homes spoke first.

"You'll find, old man, that if you wear your arse-plug more frequently, the pain will be even less. But, I think you can now attest, Whatsin, that it's elementary: When it comes to arse buggering, KY jelly is vastly superior to jar Vaseline! You can read my monograph on the subject later, if you wish, but for now, old crumpet, the game's afoot!" He headed toward the door.

Dr. Whatsin, his rectum still burning whit, stood up and joined Homes at the door. As he did, he said, "I think you're right, as usual, Homes. It hurts less than the first time." He rubbed his old bum once through his dress and they were off. The game, as Homes had put it, was now afoot . . .

The End.
"From my mind, to your mind!"