by Arthur Kay |
Wasting not a second more, Pinwoody went over to Respy, raised the bat high over
his hand and gave her a solid thwack right to the skull. It made a loud and dull
thushing sound. Respy's hips were still gyrating. So he hit her again. And even
once more. No go, her hips still moved, hurting the hell out of Willie. "Ooooooow! Make her stop! For God's sake, make her stop! Ooooooow!" Then another idea popped itself into Pinwoody's mind. He turned toward Willie, raised the bat again and gave him a good whack right on the top of his young blond head. Some blood spurted out as Willie keeled his upper body over to the left side of Respy. He was out for the count. But he was still in Respy. The only good thing one could see was Respy's arms had fallen back to the bed, freeing her death grip on him. Pinwoody pushed on Willie's hips. He pulled and tugged on Willie's legs. And, finally, thank you lord, Willie, with a pop even Alice heard, was free. Alice had been staring in awed silence the whole time. Her right hand was still at her wide-open, gaping mouth. She looked shell-shocked. Pinwoody brought her back to reality by yelling out, "Alice! Call 911! Now!" Alice made the call, explaining the situation as best she could without going in to too much vivid detail, and went and joined Pinwoody. Pinwoody was trying to take Willie's pulse. To Alice, it looked as if Pinwoody was having trouble finding one. He switched to another arm. Alice said, "Is, is he dead, Pin?" She feared the worst. "I hope not, Ali. Oh, wait, I found his pulse. A good, strong one. I just hope I didn't give him any brain damage. I swear, Alice, I tried to hit him just hard enough to put him out, not kill him. You believe me, don't you?" He was sweating profusely. As a killer might on a hot July evening in August. "Of course I do, of course . . . darling. You had to do it, Pin. What else could you have done? I saw the whole thing. Respy would have caused him permanent penile damage, if I know anything about these things." She put her arms around him and went on. "If anything, honey, you acted brilliantly, just brilliantly. I was in the other room in too much shock to even move, but you, you were right on it. Geez, when I saw you raise the bat over Willie's head, it flashed through my mind just what you intended. Brilliant, baby, just brilliant!" She squeezed him. "I-I was pretty good after all, wasn't I" He felt her head nodding against his. "But poor Respy! I really messed her up good and now . . . " "Forget Respy, hon, she can be repaired. After all she's only a ro . . . " * * * * * * THERE WAS a hard knock on the door. "Paramedics!" a male voice yelled out. Alice turned and started toward the door to let them in. More loud knocks happened. "Coming!" she yelled at the impatient sounding door. She felt somewhat relieved, but very queasy inside, as if she was about to open the door and let total strangers see a murder scene. A sexy one at that, given there was a naked man and one naked, smashed up robot. The paramedics, a male and a female, came right in, the male leading the charge, with no "Hi, how are ya?" out of them. They were all business, these two. The male took one look at the bed scene and turned to Alice. "What gives here? We weren't told there were two of 'em!" He turned back and started toward the bed. The female looked suspiciously at Pinwoody as she headed to where her partner now stood. He was holding Respy's arm up. "No pulse, Joan, she's a goner. Let's see if we can help the guy." Alice, still holding the door open, said, "There is only one, the female, the one on the bed, is just a doll . . . a ro . . . " Paramedic Joan turned her head slightly back toward Alice. "Well, honey, she's a dead doll now, this lady is." Pinwoody, who had been just standing there looking goofy, chipped his own two cents in. "What Alice means, if you two will but take a moment to listen, is the female isn't a real lady, she a ro . . . " A new voice, a male one, from the doorway, said, "You called us, Ma'am?" Two cops, one male, one female, were now at the door. Alice turned toward them. Pinwoody turned, too. The local gendarmes had arrived. Alice fessed up. "I'm the one who called you, officer. I'm Professor Alice Hames." The two cops were staring at the bed scene, their radios crackling and squawking. The male cop, having spotted the bat lying on the floor in front of the bed, looked directly at Pinwoody. "You do this, fella?" He liked the direct assault as it sometimes worked on a potential perp. "Me? No! I mean yes. I mean no. I mean . . . " Pinwoody looked a tad guilty to the cop, who now said, "Who are you, Mister, what's your name?" He'd seen this type before. More than once, you betcha. He took a step toward Pinwoody. His partner had her hand lightly resting on the 9mm Glock in its holster. She took a small step toward Pinwoody, too. If nothing else, they had Mr. Potential Perp partly surrounded now. Pinwoody looked trapped. "I-I am P-Professor P-Pinwoody, officer, H-Hapland Pinwoody. You see, I'm in charge of this little experiment you see here, and I don't . . . " "Experiment?" the male cop said. "Just what is going on here, sir? Why don't you tell me all about it?" He had a mean look on his face. The mean look was one of his perp specialties. He even practiced it now and then in front of a mirror. Just to see the effect. Well, it sure worked on Pinwoody. He was now Dumbwoody. Totally out of it. "Oh, I see! You two think . . . oh, this is funny . . . really funny . . . it's not what it seems to be, officers. Ha ha! You see, I had to hit her, she was . . . " The male cop said, "You admitting you hit her, sir? You use that bat over there?" Pinwoody looked. The bat was right where he remembered dropping it. On the floor at the foot of the bed. It had blood smeared on it. "Yes, that bat. You see, I had no choice because I was out of double-A batteries. So I had to improvise before Respy, the female on the bed . . . " The male cop said, "Let me get this straight, sir. You can't find no batteries, so you lose it and bash her one, this Respy gal. Why, sir? She forget to order them for you?" A real doozy, this one, thought the cop. "No, no!" Pinwoody said. "Alice orders the batteries. She just forgot this time . . . " Alice piped in, the two cops looking at her: "Sorry, Hon, I guess I had just too much on my plate, what with setting it up so Willie wasn't overly self-conscious about having sex with her and what with having to buy new film and . . . " The male cop said, "Willie? Who's he? He the guy over there?" He pointed a thumb at the bed. Alice and Pinwoody nodded, almost simultaneously. The cop turned his gaze back toward Pinwoody and spoke softly, but in a rapid fire manner. "What happened here, sir? You catch Willie diddling your girlfriend there and, after giving him a taste of the old bat, you put a lick or two on her? That about right? You just felt you had to hit her? Teach her a good lesson?" The cop had said it matter-of-factly. He'd been there, done that before. Many times. Pinwoody was still flustered. "Officers, you've got it all wrong. Yes, I had to hit her, I him, too, as a matter of fact, but not because she was my girlfriend. It's none of your beeswax, officer, but if you need to know, Alice here is my girlfriend." He pointed his thumb at Alice. "The female on the bed is just someone Alice and I recently made. She's a female ro . . . " The male cop said, somewhat angrily, "Listen, Mister, you're the one's got it all wrong, beeswax or no beeswax. Now, why don't I just ask you a few simple questions and you do your part by telling me the truth. OK? Think you can handle that? Me asking, you telling?" He was glaring at Pinwoody the Perp. The Perp nodded meekly, all argument gone out of him. The cop, sensing his now complete control over the situation, went on. "OK, good! Now, you say it wasn't the batteries that set you off and she's not your girlfriend. Fine. So just why did you hit her then? And him, while you're at it?" "Well, it's a long story, officer, but I'll try to be brief." He inhaled deeply. "You see, while Willie there was . . . uh . . . diddling her, if you will, she started hurting him, making him yell something awful. Right, Alice?" He turned toward her, a pitiful look on his puss. "That's right, officer, I heard it all! Willie sounded as if he was gonna die any second! Pinny really had no choice, you see. When she wouldn't listen to Pin's verbal commands and he couldn't find batteries, well what . . . " "Whoa, little lady," the cop said. "You saying you were here, in this very room, listening and watching, while the guy over there . . . uh, diddled her?" "Oh, no, no, no, no, no, my immediate presence here would have made Willie way too self-conscious about having sex in front of me to perform very well, so . . . " The cop said. "It would me!" Alice ignored him and went on. "As I was saying, I was in the other room observing through the one-way mirror. Wasn't I, Pin?" Pinwoody nodded and said, "That's right, I was the only one in this room watching it all. She was in room C filming it and making notes and . . . " "Filming?" the cop asked. "You sell these films you make?" He had directed the question, his new bloodhound trail, at Alice. Along with his hardened gaze. "Well, I, we, uh, that is, in a way I suppose you could say we do. Our backers insist we make and keep accurate records, films and what have you, and as they pay our salaries, I guess, for absolute truth and clarity, yes . . . we do sell them. In a way." Alice thought: That should be clear enough for even this dullard. It wasn't quite that clear to him. The cop said, "How long you two been making these porno flicks?" Alice laughed. "He thinks we're a porn shop, Pinny! Ha ha ha! Isn't that a riot?" She looked defiant. Pinwoody said, not laughing at all, "That is funny, but not a bad idea if you think about it. Why not film Respy in pornographic sexual action, Alice? We could bill her as the world's first female porn star, who is a ro . . . " "Hey, you two," the cop barked. "Stay on track willya? Business later. Now, Professor, suppose you tell me all about the baseball bat. OK?" Pinwoody nodded. "Well, as I said, Respy was hurting him . . . " "How?" the cop asked. Pinwoody looked embarrassed. "Well, you see, officer, she, Respy that is, was . . . uh . . . tightening her vagina around his penis. Well, with a pressure of one pound per square inch in her vaginal canal, she was hurting him real badly, as I'm sure you can imagine. Well, I had to . . . " Alice jumped in. "That's right, officer, Willie was actually screaming. Kept yelling that Respy was ripping his dick right off! She really wasn't, of course, she was only squeezing it, but Willie didn't know that fact. Right, Hon?" These two, thought the cop, are some pair! Cool as ice. And fucking heartless to boot. "Right, sweetheart. Now, where was I? Oh, yes, Willie was screaming up a storm, so I knew I had to act pretty quickly. Before his blood clotted and gangrene set in, which would have caused permanent damage to his member, as I'm sure you know. Well, what was I to do? She wasn't responding to either verbal or remote commands, so I thought it best to put her out of commission. That's when I remembered my old Mickey Mantle bat in the closet. I gave her just one good smack with it, right in the face, because that's where her main function controls are." He paused, taking a breath. "But it didn't work. She just wouldn't stop screwing him and gyrating her hips. So I hit her a few more times." The cop said, "That do the trick?" He grinned at Pinwoody. "Actually, no, officer. While it did stop her arms and legs from moving, her damn hips kept gyrating. And vibrating, too. Damndest thing. Really surprised me, I can tell you. Look? See for yourself. She's still gyrating, the robotic bitch!" He pointed toward the bed. The two cops looked at the same time. Respy was slowly rotating her groin in a definite clockwise direction. The female cop, who had been quiet the whole time, now gasped and said, "Geez, Phil, you ever see an after death thing like that?" Officer Phil shook his head. "Not in twenty years on the job, Jill." He was now scratching away at his left ear. Pinwoody felt he just had to straighten them out. "You two officers are under a big, oh, so big, misconception. Respy's not dead! As I said, she's only out of commission. After all, you can't really kill a female ro . . . " "She's outta commission, all right!" Office Phil said. "Now, professor, why don't you continue your little tale? OK? I'm all ears." Pinwoody gave up. "All right, officer. Well, you see, with Willie in great pain, I figured the only way to solve the problem was to put him out of commission, too. But with just a tap of the bat, and certainly not as hard as the way I hit Respy. I wanted to . . . you know . . . to make his penis go into the flaccid state, to make his . . . uh . . . erection go down . . . " That'd do it!" said Phil the cop. Pinwoody ignored him. "But I didn't want to kill him, so I tried to hit him in the head just hard enough to knock him out. And it worked! He went real flaccid, real quick like . . . " "I'm sure!" said Phil, the cop. Alice chipped in. She didn't like the tone in officer Phil's voice. He was poking fun at her Pinny. "It was brilliant thinking on Pin's part, officer, if you can appreciate it, which I don't believe you're capable of." She glared at officer Phil. "I, myself, given the pressure of the moment, doubt if I would have thought of it. But, to give myself a little credit, the moment I saw Pinny raise the bat over Willie's head, well, I knew right away what he had in mind and how brilliant his idea was. Well done, darling!" She smiled warmly and lovingly at her Pinny. He smiled warmly and lovingly back at her. What the two cops thought had nothing to do whatsoever with warm and loving feelings. "Thank you, darling," Pinwoody said. "I guess I do think quickly on my feet sometimes." He turned back to officer Phil. "As I was saying, officer, hitting him worked and Willie was soon as limp as a baby. Now, it certainly wasn't a piece of cake, as you can surely picture, getting him . . . uh . . . unplugged from her, so to speak, but after a bit of pushing on his hips, and a few tugs on his legs, well, he just popped right out of Respy. You could say that I had, and rightfully so, kept gangrene from creeping into his sore and swollen member. And, knowing Willie, I bet he thanks me for it when he finally comes around." He gave an affectionate looking glance in Willie's direction. Willie was now sitting up on the bed, the two paramedics fussing over him. "See, officer?" Pinwoody said. "He's okay. I didn't hit him any harder than I had to." Pinwoody smiled warmly at the cops. Almost lovingly. Then Pinwoody turned to Alice. "Whether the backers like it or not, Alice, I say we should double what we're paying Willie. He deserves it, don't you think?" "Absolutely, Pin!" Alice said, nodding vigorously. "He was, after all, injured in the line of duty." Pinwoody nodded. Phil the cop said, "You two saying you paid this Willie guy to have sex with this Respy person? While you two were going to do nothing more than just watch? That it?" Alice fielded the questions. "That's right. Willie wouldn't have done it for free, now would he? He knew full well it was the first time for her, you know, having sex, and, as such, it was experimental and there could be unforeseen problems, like . . . " Phil the cop said, "Like getting his thing half squozed off?" "Correct! And who knows what other quirky problems there might have been. We're lucky her legs didn't try to squeeze him to death. My god, Pinny, just think if that had occurred, the backers . . . Brrr!" She shuddered at the idea. The female cop, Joan, went over to the bed and looked down at Respy's smashed face. "You did a helluva job on her, Mr. Pinwoody, but what are all those wires and things coming out of her face?" She turned back toward Pinwoody. "Oh, those! Unimportant now, really. That's just part of the backup circuit board I tried to jam into her uncooperative brain. But it wouldn't go in. I guess the short, if that's what it was, must have fried things together and caused a blockage. Damn thing got stuck and wouldn't go in or out, so I had to leave it in there." He turned to Alice. "There's a hundred bucks down the old draineroo, eh, Ali?" Alice nodded and said, "Now, now, dear, don't you go blaming yourself. It wasn't your fault she froze on Willie. The backers will understand . . . " The cops sure didn't. Officer Phil said, "Listen, you two. If you don't mind cooperating with us, we'd like to see that film you made of it all. If you have no objections, that is." He glared at Pinwoody and then at Alice. Pinwoody said, "Be my guest, officer. We want to cooperate. Fully." Alice said, remembering something, "Pin, honey, are you sure it's such a good idea? The beginning of the video does have me and . . . " "Alice," Pinwoody said. "We don't want these two nice officers here to think we've anything to hide, now do we? Well, do we?" Alice shook her head. Meekly. Pinwoody said, "Good! Officers, we can watch it in room D. Now, if you will follow me this way, please . . . " |