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        stimulation of the anus with the mouth 
        the dark ring of skin surrounding the nipple 
        sex with animals 
        a person who is sexually or romantically attracted to both 
blue balls 
        see question c4-6 
        the surgical procedure of removing the foreskin 
        the most sensitive external female sex organ, located near 
        the top of the vulva. 
        a sheath of latex, plastic, or animal skin worn over the 
        penis to prevent sperm ejaculation into the vagina. 
        stimulation of the vulva with the mouth 
dental dam 
        a piece of latex placed over the vulva during cunnilingus to 
        protect both partners from STDs 
        a dome-shaped cap of rubber designed to cover the cervical 
        opening and prevent sperm from entering the cervix. 
        an artificial penis used in sexual activity. 
        consuming the resultant semen after anal sex. 
        stimulation of the penis with the mouth 
        inserting a whole hand into either the vagina or the anus 
        skin covering the head of the penis in uncircumsized men 
        sexual pleasure from rubbing against another person 
        the activity of Urban Legend status regarding the insertion 
        of a gerbil or similarly-sized rodent into the anus 
        a person who is sexually or romantically attracted only to 
        the opposite sex. 
        a person who is sexually or romantically attracted only to 
        the same sex 
        any tissue that partly or completely covers the vaginal opening
        sexual intercourse between closely related persons 
        intrauterine device, a method of birth control 
        external folds of flesh of the vulva. 
labia majora 
        the thicker, outside labia 
labia minora 
        the inner labia 
        a homosexual woman 
        mound of flesh located above the vagina 
        Obligated Sexual Comment/Reference; inserted at the end of 
        some posts which otherwise have very little to do with sex 
        exchange of money for sexual favors 
        sexual activity forced upon someone unwilling or unable to 
        give consent 
        see anilingus 
        the code phrase or word used in any sort of B&D/S&M activity 
        that really means "Stop NOW." 
        often simply refers to anal sex; however, the actual 
        dictionary definition includes anything considered "unnatural 
        or deviate sexual intercourse" which may include everything 
        from oral sex to sex between partners of the same gender 
        consensual sex involving the exchange of marital partners for 
        sexual purposes 
        an individual who is sexually or emotionally stimulated or 
        satisfied by dressing in clothing of the opposite sex 
        an electrically driven machine that vibrates 
        collective term referring to a woman's external genitalia 
water sports 
        sex involving urine or urination (also "scat", sex involving 
        see bestiality 


:) :-) 
        smiley, indicates humor or sarcasm (many variations exist) 
        mutual oral sex 
        bondage and discipline (consensual) 
        Bondage/Discipline/Sadism/Masochism. Generic term. 
        by the way 
        Dominance and Submission 
        frequently asked question 
        in my humble/honest opinion 
        in my not so humble opinion 
        let's just be friends 
        member of the appropriate sex 
        member of the opposite sex 
        member of the same sex 
        sadism and masochism or sadomasochism 
        significant other 

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The Vulva is the external sexual organ of women.  There are many 
questions about the vulva on, and this FAQ will begin to 
attempt to answer some of these.



        The external female genitals are collectively referred to 
as The Vulva. All of the words below are part of the vulva. 

Mons Veneris. 

        The mons veneris, Latin for "hill of Venus" (Roman Goddess 
of love) is the pad of fatty tissue that covers the pubic 
bone below the abdomen but above the labia. The mons is 
sexually sensitive in some women and protects the pubic bone 
from the impact of sexual intercourse.
Labia Majora 

          The labia majora are the outer lips of the vulva, pads of 
fatty tissue that wrap around the vulva from the mons to the 
perineum. These labia are usually covered with pubic hair, and 
contain numerous sweat and oil glands, and it has been suggested that 
the scent from these are sexually arousing. 

Labia Minora 

          The labia minora are the inner lips of the vulva, thin 
stretches of tissue within the labia majora that fold and protect the 
vagina, urethra, and clitoris. The appearance of labia minora can 
vary widely, from tiny lips that hide between the labia majora to 
large lips that protrude. The most common metaphor for the labia 
minora is that of a flower. Both the inner and outer labia are quite 
sensitive to touch and pressure. 


          The clitoris, a small white oval between the top of the 
labia minora and the clitoral hood, is a small body of spongy tissue 
that is highly sexually sensitive. The clitoris is protected by the 
prepuce, or clitoral hood, a covering of tissue similar to the labia 
minora. During sexual excitement, the clitoris may extend and the 
hood retract to make the clitoris more accessible. Some clitori are 
very small; other women may have large clitori that the hood does not 
completely cover. 


          The opening to the urethra is just below the clitoris. It 
is not related to sex or reproduction, but is instead the passage for 
urine. The urethra is connected to the bladder. Because the urethra 
is so close to the anus, women should always wipe themselves from 
front to back to avoid infecting the vagina and urethra with bacteria. 


        The opening of the vagina in precoital women (i.e. those who 
have never had sex before) is typically covered by a thin tissue 
membrane called the hymen.  The hymen, which serves no known 
function, is usually perforated to allow the flow of menstrual blood 
to leave the body after puberty.  Usually, the hymen stretches across 
or surrounds some but not all of the vaginal opening.  The hymen is 
the traditional "symbol" of virginity, although being a very thin 
membrane, it can be torn by vigorous exercise or the insertion of a 
tampon.  Some women are born with hymens so thin as to be almost 
nonexistant, and intercourse may not tear the hymen in even average 
women; instead, it may simply stretch.


          The perineum is the short stretch of skin starting at the 
bottom of the vulva and extending to the anus. The perineum in women 
often tears during birth to accomodate passage of the child, and this 
is apparently natural. Some physicians may cut the perineum 
preemptively on the grounds that the "tearing" may be more harmful 
than a precise scalpel, but studies show that such cutting in fact 
may increase the potential for infection.


          The vagina extends from the vaginal opening to the cervix, 
the opening to the uterus. The vagina serves as the receptacle for 
the penis during sexual intercourse, and as the birth canal through 
which the baby passes during labor. The average vaginal canal is 
three inches long, possibly four in women who have given birth. This 
may seem short in relation to the penis, but during sexual arousal 
the cervix will lift upwards and the fornix may extend upwards into 
the body as long as necessary to receive the penis. After 
intercourse, the contraction of the vagina will allow the cervix to 
rest inside the fornix, which in its relaxed state is a bowl-shaped 
fitting perfect for the pooling of semen.  At either side of the 
vaginal opening are the Bartholin's glands, which produce small 
amounts of lubricating fluid, apparently to keep the inner labia 
moist during periods of sexual excitement. Further within are the 
hymen glands, which secrete lubricant for the length of the vaginal 


          The word is in quotes because there is still some debate as 
to the existance or purpose of the G- spot. In the illustration 
above, what is indicated as the g-spot in fact points to a region 
known as the Skenes glands, the purpose of which are unknown. Despite 
the controversy, one fact remains-- there are many women who claim 
that pressure on this region of the vagina is extremely pleasurable. 
Usually, two fingers are used, and because the spot is deep within 
the tissue, some pressure may be needed. Also, because the Skenes 
glands are alongside the bladder, some women may found that the 
increased pressure makes them feel as if they need to urinate.

          The cervix is the opening to the uterus. It varies in 
diameter from 1 to 3 millimeters, depending upon the time in the 
menstrual cycle the measurement is taken. The cervix is sometimes 
plugged with cervical mucous to protect the cervix from infection; 
during ovulation, this mucous becomes a thin fluid to permit the 
passage of sperm. 


          The uterus, or womb, is the main female internal 
reproductive organ. The inner lining of the uterus is called the 
endometrium, which grows and changes during the menstrual cycle to 
prepare to receive a fertilized egg, and sheds a layer at the end of 
every menstrual cycle if fertilization does not happen. The utereus 
is lined with powerful muscles to push the child out during labor.

          The ovaries perform two functions: the production of 
estrogen and progesterone, the female sex hormones, and the 
production of mature ova, or eggs. At birth, the ovaries contain 
nearly 400,000 ova, and those are all she will ever have. However, 
that is far more than she will need, since during an average lifespan 
she will go through about 500 menstrual cycles. After maturing, the 
single egg travels down the fallopian tube, a journey of three or 
four days-- this is the period during which a woman is fertile and 
pregnancy may occur. Eggs that are not fertilized are expelled during 



        The Grafenberg spot, or G-spot, is an area located within the 
anterior (or front) wall of the vagina, about one centimetre from the 
surface and one-third to one-half way in from the vaginal opening 
(see illustration and text). It is reported to consist of a system of 
glands (Skene's glands) and ducts that surround the urethra (Heath, 
1984). Some authors write that you must press "deeply" into the 
tissue with two fingers to reach it with any effectiveness.  

        The significance of the G-spot is that some women (about 
half) report that it is a highly sensitive area that under the right 
conditions can be very pleasurable if stimulated. For some women, it 
can be a primary source of stimulation leading to orgasm during 
intercourse. Other women report no particular stimulation, and some 
say that it feels as if they need to urinate.  The G-Spot has been 
linked to the phenomenon known as female ejaculation. To date, there 
is little data about female ejaculation, although there is some 
speculation that it is the product of the Skene's glands. 


        Toxic Shock Syndrome (TSS) is a rare but serious illness 
which can occur in men, women and children. About half the number of 
cases reported are associated with using tampons and affect a tiny 
number of women every year-- only about 1 out of every 1.5 million 
women who have periods. TSS can occasionally be fatal.  

        Toxic Shock Syndrome can be treated successfully providing it 
is recognised quickly, and most young people make a full recovery. 
Younger people may more at risk from the bacteria which are believed 
to cause this rare condition, because their immune system may not be 
fully developed.  In the unlikely event that you have these symptoms 
during your period--a high fever (over 102F or 39C), rash, vomiting, 
diarrhoea, sore throat, dizziness or fainting - you must remove your 
tampon and consult your doctor immediately. These symptoms can be 
early warning signs of TSS, which can develop very quickly and may 
seem like flu to begin with.  

        Do not worry about wasting the doctor's time and remember to 
say you have been wearing a tampon. Do not use tampons again without 
checking first with your doctor.
        By using tampons correctly and following the advice below, 
you will reduce the risk of developing TSS.
     * Always wash your hands before and after insertion and removal 
       of a tampon. 
     * Always remove the used tampon before inserting a new one. 
     * Always remember to remove the last tampon at the end of your 
     * Never use 2 tampons at once. 
     * Tampons should only be used when you have a period. 

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The penis and scrotum are the external sexual organs of men. There 
are many questions about the penis on, and this FAQ will 
attempt to begin to answer some of them. 



        The glans is the head of the penis. The glans in uncircumcised 
men is usually covered by the prepuce. The glans is highly sensitive, 
as is the corona, the ridge of flesh that connects the glans to the 
shaft of the penis.  


        The 'crown,' a ridge of flesh demarcating where the head of the 
penis and the shaft join.  frenulum, frenum   A thin strip of flesh 
on the underside of the penis that connects the shaft to the head.  

foreskin, prepuce

        A roll of skin which covers the head of the penis in 
uncircumsized men.  

urethra, meatus

        The opening at the tip of the penis to allow the passage of both 
urine and semen.  


        A substance with the texture of cheese secreted by glands on 
each side of the frenulum in uncircumsized men.  


        The scrotum is a sac that hangs behind and below the penis, and 
containts the testes, the male sexual glands. The scrotum's primary 
function is to maintain the testes at approximately 34 C, the 
temperature at which the testes most effectively produce sperm.      

Male Internal Sexual Anatomy

Testes, Testicles.

        The male sexual glands, the two testes within the scrotum 
produce sperm and testosterone. Within each testis is a kilometer of 
ducts called the seminiferous tubules, the organs which generate 
sperm. Each testicle produces nearly 150 million sperm every 24 


        The epididymis is a 'holding pen' where sperm produced by the 
seminiferous tubules mature. The sperm wait here until ejaculation or 
nocturnal emission 

Vas deferns

        The ducts leading from the epididymis to the seminal vesicles. 
These are the ducts that are cut during the procedure known as 

Seminal vesicles

        The seminal vesicles produce semen, a fluid that activates and 
protects the sperm after it has left the penis during ejaculation 

Prostate gland

        Also produces a fluid that makes up the semen. The prostate 
gland also squeezes shut the urethral duct to the bladder, thus 
preventing urine from mixing with the semen and disturbing the pH 
balance required by sperm. 

Corpa cavernosa

        The corpa cavernosa are the two spongy bodies of erectile tissue 
on either side of the penis which become engorged with blood from 
arteries in the penis, thus causing erection. 

Ejaculatory Ducts

        The path through the seminal glands which semen travels during 

Cowper's Glands

        The Cowper's glands secrete a small amount of pre-ejaculate 
fluid prior to orgasm. This fluid neutralizes the acidity within the 
urethra itself.



According to the book Mandens Krop (which is translated from English, 
but does not give the original title) the average is 15cm and 90% are 
between 13 and 18cm.

The records for a fully functional penis are 1.5cm and 30cm.


This is probably one of the most frequently asked questions on, and that's a shame, because it's really a pointless 
question. Penis size is important if and only if you think it is. If 
you have sex with men and you desire a large penis, then penis size 
is important to you, and only to you. If you feel your penis should 
be larger, then penis size is important to you, and only to you. 

Many women say that too many men are hung up on the size of their 
penises. The vagina is only eight to thirteen centimeters long, and 
even a small penis can touch every square centimeter within the vagina.


Yes. There are two surgical procedures to increase penis size-- the 
Bihari Procedure, and Fat Injection. 

The Bihari Procedure consists of cutting the ligament that secures 
the base of the penis to the body. This gives between one-half and 
two inches of increased length to the penis; however, because the 
penis is no longer anchored to the body an erection no longer points 

Fat Injection is the process of removing fat from the backs of the 
thighs and injecting it into the body of the penis to make the penis 
thicker. Because the body rejects a significant portion of the 
injection this procedure may need to be repeated several times and 
each operation carries with it a severe risk of infection.


According to Harold Reed, M.D., director of the Reed Centre for 
Ambulatory Urological Surgery in Bay Harbor, Florida, this is the 
correct way to measure the length of your penis: 

First, while standing, get an erection. Okay, now gently angle your, 
er, equipment down until it is parallel to the floor. Set your ruler 
against your pubic bone just above the base of the penis, and   
measure to the tip. Thats how the doctors do it.   


One-quarter of all penises bend in some direction and some bend 
downward even when erect. Unless the bend is severe or causes you 
pain, there is nothing wrong or abnormal about your penis. It should 
not interfere with sexual intercourse. Some people report that a 
downward-bending penis is easier to fellate.

In rare cases a condition called Peyrone's Syndrome can arise from 
childhood diseases. This condition is caused by scarring on one of 
the two corpa cavernosa within the penis, stunting its effectiveness 
during erection and causing the penis to bend almost 90 degrees in 
that direction. If you feel this may be the case, consult a urologist.


Male circumcision is the surgical removal of the foreskin from the 
penis. When performed in a hospital, it is usually done shortly after 
birth by a doctor or midwife. Circumcisions are also given to Jewish 
boys by a mohel in a ceremony eight days after birth. Some Islamic 
boys are circumcised when they are older, around age 12. The majority 
of American boys are circumcised.

Common reasons for circumcision include: better hygiene, "normal" or 
"better" appearance, and "his penis should look like his father's." 
Common reasons against circumcision include: it is no longer 
necessary for hygienic reasons; it is a painful, barbaric practice; 
possibility of infection or surgical error; "normal" or "better" 
appearance; "his penis should look like his father's."; and "greater 
sensitivity of uncircumcised penis."


Blue Balls is a real condition! The "correct" term for blue balls is 
epididymitis, which is an inflammation of the epididymis.

In simple terms blue balls occurs when the epididymis get blocked up 
with sperm that have left the testis but not the penis. The vas 
deferns are the conduit for the sperm from the testis to the urethra. 
When they get blocked you get pain. Why blue balls and not "swollen 
balls," well maybe the connotation is that you balls have the 
"blues", or maybe its because with all that swelling some of the 
blood flow is restricted enough to cause some blueing of the area 
because of pooling blood.


The prostate is about the size of a walnut in a normal man, and is 
immediately behind the rectal wall about three centimeters inside the 
anus. It can be felt by placing one finger within the anus and 
feeling along the anterior wall for a round bulb. For some men, 
touching or rubbing this spot is extremely pleasurable; a rare few 
can even orgasm through this technique. Others report that the touch 
is painful or makes them feel as if they need to urinate.

The FAQ on anal sex answers this question in more detail.     

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(The FAQ for

For both partners:


What follows is not a set of rules. Rules about sex are impossible-- 
what should matter is that what you do makes you feel good. And 
"feeling good" should last past the sex itself-- you should not feel 
anxious afterwards about getting her pregnant or catching some 
horrible disease, so planning ahead about contraception and safe sex 
is part of the idea.

When you have sex doesn't really matter. What should matter instead 
is that you and your partner have sex when you are both comfortable. 
Some people prefer to make love at the break of dawn, some in the 
afternoon sun, some in the darkness of night. More important than 
time of day is the time you have to spend. Give yourself a lot of 
time to have sex the first time. A weekend is ideal, but at least the 
whole day, including sleep time.


Avoid eating a heavy meal, since that'll just make you sleepy. Eat 
light, don't drink too much alcohol, if any at all. It may help you 
shed inhibitions, but it may also make his erection much more 
difficult to achieve and you want to spend more time in the bedroom 
than the bathroom anyway, right? 


Where you have sex is probably a more important decision. Finding a 
place where you both can be private for up to forty-eight hours can 
be difficult at that age where most people are planning on losing 
their virginity. But it's worth it. Cars are no longer big enough to 
have sex in, and the outdoors has less privacy, bugs, sand, and pine 

A bed is probably the best thing to make love in, still. Hopefully 
you'll have a room to yourself, with all the amenities that a bedroom 
affords, including heat, comfort, space, and the bathroom. Take a 
shower together! If you're about to have sex, you've probably had 
your hands all over each other before now. Get to know each other's 
bodies. Take your time. That's what lovemaking is about.


Bring what you need to make you comfortable. Birth control, condoms, 
maybe your favorite pillow or a bathrobe.

For her:


You can't expect him to know what makes you feel good. You'll have to 
tell him or show him, and that may mean taking some of the 
initiative, taking his hands and placing them where they make you 
feel good. Go slow. If it's his first time, he may well be totally 
nervous about what you're about to do, and his penis may not respond 
at first. Patience, gentleness, and understanding are required to 
bring it back to life, and that may be hard for you to achieve, but 
that's why we told you to give yourselves lots of time.


You have probably heard horror stories about how much losing your 
virginity hurts. For a few women, it does, but with the right touch 
and the right partner, you should be able to take his penis into your 
body without pain. Have him take his time, use a lubricant, and press 
his fingers into you, opening you up slowly. Tell him when it feels 
good and when it hurts.


Many women prefer to have sex the first time being on top, where they 
can control the first entry. Others want to be on the bottom and give 
their lovers that control. Choose what's best for you. Just remember 
to tell him to go slow, take your time, and if you feel the need, use 
a commercial lubricant like KY Jelly.

For him:


It may sound funny, but your penis, which has worked great for years, 
may suddenly go on strike at your first chance at "real" sex. That's 
natural-- you're nervous. Take a deep breath. Do something else for a 
while with your hands, your lips and your tongue. Try to forget about 
your anxiety, and your penis will respond. It's only a temporary thing.


Many men think that because they're men, they should be in charge of 
the sex, regardless of who has the more experience. If you're a 
virgin and she's not, tell her, and let her lead if she wishes. This 
is as much a learning experience as a loving one. Don't be afraid to 
confess the truth. A lot of women would rather know that your 
fumbling is inexperience, rather than just sheer ineptitude, and will 
gratefully show you the ways of the world.


Don't worry about making orgasm simultaneous, either. Some women do 
not orgasm during intercourse, and even if your girlfriend is capable 
of climax, the odds are very much against you coming at the same 
time. Enjoy yourself, and rely on her to tell you the truth when 
she's enjoying herself.


If you actually climax much too soon before you wanted to, take your 
time, take a nap, and try again. The second time you should be much 
more relaxed and ready to take your time-- so will your penis.


Another common concern is size. The average penis is slightly more 
than five and a half inches in length when erect, and that's more 
than enough to hit every major nerve center in the vagina, the 
legendary G-spot included. The vagina is capable of stretching to 
take a large penis, or shape itself to pleasure a small one. Size has 
very little to do with your ability as a lover.

Another common issue is shape. Some men become concerned because 
their penis bends downwards, or to the left, and assume that because 
they never see men like them in erotic movies that they're not 
normal. Others worry that a downward bend will make sex difficult or 
painful because the vagina isn't shaped with that bend in mind.

Keep in mind that sex can be performed in any number of positions. 
The penis and vagina can be matched in many different ways, and each 
new position can bring new pleasures to you and your partner. Some 
people believe that a downward-bending penis is much easier to 
perform oral sex upon.


Being a good lover doesn't happen automatically. With the right 
partner, time, care, and practice, you have everything you need to 
become a great lover. Your first times, for both you, will be 
fumbling and awkward, but hopefully they'll be the start of great 
times for the rest of your lives. 
Subject: The FAQ, Part 6: BETTER SEX 
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        It is perhaps a shame that while we live in one of the most 
advanced cultures in the world and yet know so little about how to 
make each other happy in that most human of all endeavors, sex.  With 
a few small additions to your sexual vocabulary you can break out of 
boredom and lead happier, more satisfying sex lives.  Here in this 
FAQ we'll look at three important additions to one's sex life: 
position, time, and location.


Man on top.

        Everybody starts out in this so-called "missionary position": 
man on top, woman on the bottom, face-to-face.  It's where we were 
when most of us lost our virginity.  This position gets a lot of bad 
press these days because it's "old-fashioned," or perhaps because 
it's "patriarchal."  Actually, there's nothing wrong with this 
position; it affords excellent support for thrusting, close intimate 
contact between lovers, and is an ideal position for conception.  The 
woman may lie with her legs spread wide and to the sides, or may draw 
them up to her chest.  In either position, the man cannot reach her 
vulva for manual stimulation although in the first he can reach her 

        A variation on this position is for the woman to sit in a 
chair or on the edge of a low bed, thus allowing the man to kneel on 
the floor for thrusting.  For heavyset men it can reduce the weight 
he places upon his partner, and allows for both partners to reach 
their genitals.  Although technically regarded as "superior" to 
traditional missionary position by many sex therapists, most people 
who actually have sex feel this position is less "intimate."

        A third variant of man-on-top is one in which the woman lies 
on her stomach and the man penetrates her from behind.  For many 
women, this position can stimulate the G-spot; however, it can also 
cause the penis to strike the cervix, causing pain.  While this 
position has many of the disadvantages of any position where two 
people are not face-to-face, it is still popular with some couples.

Woman on top.

        This position is highly recommended in the few "how to lose 
your virginity" manuals still lying around, mostly because it allows 
the woman to fully control the speed at which sex occurs.  There are 
several different positions classified as "woman on top."  The most 
common is that she straddles his hips, taking his penis inside her, 
and then lies atop him, either with her legs bent or stretched out.  
She may also choose to just sit straight up atop him, sliding up and 
down; this position is both visually stimulating for the man and 
allows him to play with her breasts freely.

        Occassionally in adult movies one may see this position done 
with the woman facing away from her partner.  While the sensations 
giving to both partners in this position are very different and may 
be very stimulating, most people feel the loss of intimacy involved 
is not worth the difference.


        This position is for sex in slow motion; the angles are all 
wrong for any sort of vigorous thrusting.  The man sits in a chair or 
cross-legged on the floor while the woman sits astride him, usually 
face-to-face although it can work equally well if she faces away.  
This position is good for caressing and intimacy.  Some people 
recommend rocking chairs for this position.


        Remincent of "quickies" and illicit sex in alleyways, 
standing is actually one of the more complicated positions to 
achieve, at least face-to-face.  Insertion can be difficult; 
standing, the vagina is not tilted forward for easy access.  Since 
women are on average shorter than their male partners this position 
may require a short footstool or convenient staircase step to make it 
possible.  At any rate, someone may want a friendly wall to hold both 
of them up during this act.

        Another variant of standing is similar to the third one in 
man- on-top; the woman faces the wall or bookcase or whatever she's 
using to hold herself up and the man penetrates her vagina from 
behind.  This position is considerably easier than face-to-face 
standing, and many people like it for it's "naughty" or "illicit" 


        These positions all mirror the "on top" positions, except 
that the partners now lie on their sides on the bed.  They can be 
achieved face-to-face, at an angle or from behind.  The one 
difficulty with this position face-to-face is that someone has to 
rest their leg atop their partners; after only a few minutes this 
sometimes causes cramping and pain.   Done when the woman faces away 
from the man, it can be slow, relaxing; one can almost fall asleep 
comfortably like this.  In this position, it is known as 
"spooning."  (The term applies mostly to the act of sleeping in that 
position, not necessarily the act of sex.)


        Although several positions already described can also be 
covered under this term, most people use this term to describe the 
position in which the woman kneels on her hands and knees while the 
man enters her from behind.  Some people strongly dislike this 
position because of the lack of intimacy and the suggestion of male 
"dominance"; others like it for the freedom and strength that can be 
employed during the act of intercourse.  The term "doggy style" has 
been employed to describe this position in the past, although this 
descriptive is inaccurate at best.


        When should we have sex?

        When you have sex is a decision you will start to make only 
after you've gotten through the initial "all the time!" stage.  
Eventually, though, any person will develop a habit of making love 
with a certain pattern.  Acquiring that pattern is the start of 
boredom; breaking that pattern can be the road to a new discovery.

        If you and your partner are prone to making love only at 
night, try it for breakfast instead.  Run home during lunch for a 
quickie.   No time is more significant to lovemaking than any other, 
except that the time be good for both you and your partner.


        Where should we have sex?

        In bed, to start with.  Seriously, there is no "better" place 
to make love than a bed.  It's designed to hole people lying down; 
it's even designed for them to be a little rambunctious.

        However, like time of day, location can become boring with 
repetition.  Moving your sex life into a different room can be as 
much of a change as night and day.  For starters, try the living 
room; most have a couch.  Spread a blanket on the floor, start a fire 
in the fireplace if you have one, feed each other small, intimate 
snacks like grapes and champagne, and enjoy.  A quickie on the 
kitchen floor (so popular since Indecent Proposal) can be fun as well.

        What about the shower?

        The shower, as well as the swimming pool, have their 
disadvantages.  For one thing, lubricant doesn't last very long in 
environments of such overwhelming volumes of water.   For another, 
usually the only position available is standing, with all of the 
attendant problems of differences in height.  However, it's 
frequently the only place other thant he bedroom where both of you 
are likely to be comfortable and naked, especially in winter.

        And outdoors?

        Having sex outdoors has its own challenges and rewards.  Many 
people feel that sex outdoors is closer to nature; others feel it is 
more illicit, "in full view of the whole sky."  If you're going to 
have sex outdoors in any position other than standing, plan ahead of 
time to bring a blanket.  Avoid using bug spray and sun block until 
afterwards-- both taste awful.  On the other hand, sunburns on your 
genitals can be excrutiating; take care.

        Caveat lover...

        Having sex in strange places is a turn-on for many.  How 
strange a place you want to make love is a matter of some concern of 
course, since outside of the privacy of your own home, having sex in 
full view is likely to arouse the interest of the local 
constabulary.  Getting arrested for public indecency is likely to 
catch the attention of your employer as well.  Plan any such 
dalliances in advance and scope out your intended rendezvous point 
for possible problems, interruptions, and routes of escape if 
necessary.  And whatever you do, put your used condoms and wrappers 
in the trash can; stopping litter isn't just good citizenship, here's 
it's a matter of sheer good taste.

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What is Fellatio?

Fellatio, giving head, giving a blow-job. Many men love this kind of 
stimulation, and many people, both women and men, like giving it. 
Fellatio is the act of applying your lips to a man's penis with the 
purpose of giving him pleasure.

There are few tips to fellatio that can be given other than practice. 
The lips and the tongue are the major sources of stimulation, and it 
is with the lips and tongue that you should apply the attention to 
make him feel good. Both men and women respond well to pressure and 
rhythm. A steady, strong stroke will be enough to get the reaction 
you're looking for.

What if it doesn't smell or taste good?

If the smell isn't something you enjoy, then tell him to go take a 
shower! While this is something you're doing primarily for his 
pleasure, that doesn't mean you have to suffer if he's lacking in 
hygiene! And if you're worried about germs, your mouth has millions 
more germs than a clean penis.

What is "deep throating?"

Deep throating is the act of taking the penis down past your gag 
reflex. In reality, this particular sexual adventure is very 
overrated. The best way to give fellatio is still with the lips and 
tongue, taking only as much as you can without gagging. However, for 
those that want to know, the basic lesson is still practice. Take the 
penis as far as you can without choking, and then close your eyes and 
concentrate, taking each quarter inch, telling yourself that you 
won't choke, that you can take it out at any time, and slowly swallow 
it down. Then rise off of it just as slowly.

Are there any special spots on the penis?

Every penis is different, and each has its sensitive spots and its 
preferred ways of being handled. Listen to your lover. The sounds he 
makes and the feel of his body tensing are your best clues that 
you're going this right.

Should I use my hands?

Feel free to grasp with your hands whatever of the penis you can't 
fit into your mouth. Many men like as much stimulation as possible, 
and the feel of a wet mouth and a saliva-slicked hand are enough to 
send them to the brink of orgasm very quickly.

What is 69?

Some people feel that the best position to perform oral sex is the 69 
position, where each partner lies with their head by the other's 
genitals. For fellatio, this even makes sense-- most penises curve 
upwards, towards the head, and in this position that curve matches 
the curve of the throat. However, it is difficult to both perform and 
appreciate oral sex at the same time. Try the position, or kneel by 
his body, but at least in the beginning do one thing at a time.

My boyfriend wants me to swallow. What do I do?

Which brings us to a sensitive issue: swallowing ejaculate. For many 
men, this is important to them-- they like to feel that by swallowing 
their semen, you complete this act of lovemaking and accept a part of 
themselves into your body. But many people don't like the taste of 
semen and can't bring themselves. Talk about this beforehand-- let 
him know if you can't handle it, and that it's not personal.

Can I make my seminal fluids taste better?

Macrobiotic nutritionists have actually done research on this 
question, and the answer is in: you are what you eat. Common sense 
dictates that if you taste good, your lover will want to eat you more 
often, so improving your body's taste and smell should be important 
to you.

In general, nutritionsists say that alkaline-based foods such as 
meets and fish produce a butter, fish taste. Dairy products, which 
contain a high bacterial putrefaction level create the foulest 
tasting fluids by far. (Dissent: almost everyone I know says that 
there is one worse than a high-dairy content-- asparagus. You can't 
miss the taste of asparagus-laced semen.) Acidic fruits, such as 
sweets, fruits, and alcohol give bodily fluids a pleasant, sugary 
flavor. Chemically processed liquors will cause an extremely acidic 
taste, however, so if you're going to drink alcohol, drink high- 
quality, naturally fermented beers (Rolling Rock or Kirin) or sake.

What are the contents of semen?

The question of semen content arises especially among persons who 
regularly swallow semen, as in fellatio, and who are concerned about 
calorie intake and nutritional substances. The average ejaculate 
contains aboutonia, ascorbic acid, blood-group antigens, calcium, 
chlorine, cholesterol, choline, citric acid, creatine, 
deoxyribonucleic acid (DNA), fructose, glutathione, hyaluronidase, 
inositol, lactic acid, magnesium, nitrogen, phosphorus, potassium, 
purine, pyrimidine, pyruvic acid, sodium, sorbitol, spermidine, 
spermine, urea, uric acid, vitamin b12, and zinc.

The caloric content of an average ejaculate is estimated to be 
approximately 15 calories. 

A last word.

There is only one true way to do fellatio, and that's with 
enthusiasm. You have to love what you're doing to him, either because 
you love him or you love sucking cock. Loving both is best! Faked 
orgasms have nothing on lackluster fellatio.
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1.      Why would anyone want to have anal sex?

For many people, anal sex is the ultimate taboo.  Buttfucking makes 
it sound crude and dirty, sodomy sounds technical.  In the 1990's, 
anal sex has been given the bad rap because of HIV, the virus that 
causes AIDS, is most easily transmitted by anal intercourse.   But 
some people love anal sex.  Others hate it.  Others haven't tried it 
yet and are curious.  And many people are attracted to it precisely 
because it's so taboo and mysterious.  

2.      What is analingus?

One other part of the body that some people enjoy licking, or having 
licked, is the anus.  The anus has half the nerve endings in the 
pelvic region and many people find touching it to be sexually 
arousing.  Although we haven't mentioned safer sex yet as part of 
this series, we will here: the anus and rectum carry many diseases 
that live quite benignly in your lower digestive tract, but which can 
be harmful in your mouth or stomach.  Performing anilingus is a very 
risky behavior for a variety of bacterial infections.  Refer to the 
section on safer sex techniques for ways to protect yourself if you 
or your partner enjoys this activity.  

3.      Does anal sex hurt?

Anal sex should not hurt.  If it hurts, you're doing it wrong.  With 
enough lubricant and enough patience, it's entirely possible to enjoy 
anal sex as a safe and fulfilling part of your sex life.  However, 
some people may never like it, and if your lover is one of those 
people, respect their limits.  Don't force the idea upon them.  

4.      Can anal sex actually give pleasure?

The pleasure of anal sex is derived from many things.  Doing 
something "nasty" appeals to many people, especially about sex.  
Doing something different to spice up a sex life that has become 
something of a bore can be part of it.  And the physical sensations 
available during anal sex are uniquely different from anything else.  
The rectum is lined with nerve endings, some of which signal the 
brain to 'reward' you with good feelings when stimulated.  For men, 
the prostate gland can be a source of powerful pleasure.  And for a 
thrusting penis, the tight ring of the anus can be a new and strong 
sensation to enjoy.  

5.      What do I need to have anal sex?

The most important pieces of advice anyone can give on anal sex are: 
lubricants, condoms, and patience.  The most commonly available 
lubricant is KY-Jelly, a greaseless, odorless substance available at 
most drug stores.  Better lubricants include Astroglide, ID, Wet, or 
ForePlay, some of which are available at better drug stores, and most 
of which are available in some form at adult toy stores.   Do not buy 
anything that is oil-based.  Make sure the lubricant you buy is 
rated "condom compatible." Nothing else will do.  Oil- based 
lubricants such as vaseline or baby oil will destroy a condom long 
before you're done having sex.  And many oil-based sub- stances will 
coat the lining of the rectum, providing a haven for many potential 

6.      Do I have to use a condom?

Even if you're sure that both you and your partner are disease- free, 
using a condom is still a good idea.  The rectum is home to lots of 
infectious bacteria that can cause burning and urethritis of the 
penis.  It will also help you clean up afterwards.  

7.      I'm worried that anal sex will be messy.

Anal sex can be messy, but such a mess can be avoided; after all, 
most people can tell when they have to go to the bathroom.  A condom 
will help with cleanup, of course, and if you're really concerned, a 
commercial enema, like Fleet, will help beforehand.  If you do use a 
commercial enema, read the instructions carefully.

8.      How do we prepare for anal sex?

Patience is the third and final thing you need to make anal sex 
possible.  Initial penetration is always the most difficult part of 
anal sex-- the anus is a tight ring of flesh at the opening of the 
rectum designed to control the elimination of bodily waste.  It is 
partially under voluntary control, and partially reflexive to stim- 
ulation.  Your partner has to relax, and you have to go slow to coax 
it into opening enough to recieve your penis.   Start with a well- 
lubricated finger or a slim (smaller than your penis) dildo.  The 
dildo is more realistic, but your fingers can flex and feel what 
they're doing inside her ass.  Slide one finger in slowly, letting 
her adjust to it.  Take your finger all the way out, then push it 
back in again.  Give her anus time to get used to this kind of 
activity.  Then slide a second finger in.  Consider how big your 
penis is and realize that two fingers is probably enough.  

9.      What position should we use for anal sex?

For actual intercourse, picking a position can be important.  Many 
women want to be on top, to regulate how fast penetration occurs.  
Other like to lie on their stomachs, or crouch doggy-style, or to be 
penetrated while lying on their sides.  Choose what's best before you 
start.   As always, control yourself.  Take your time and use lots of 
lubricant.  People who like anal sex say that "too much lube is 
almost enough." Listen to your partner-- if she tells you it starts 
to hurt, back off.   Eventually, a time will come during your 
lovemaking where her anus will relax enough to allow the head of your 
cock to 'pop' into her.  If she is completely relaxed, that pop 
should feel completely painless.  Now just because you're inside her 
is no reason to start pounding away like mad.  Let her body adjust.  
Take your time.  Eventually you will both be ready for more.  

10.     Can I get pregnant from anal sex?

It is not *technically* possible to get pregnant from anal sex; there 
is no way for semen to get from the rectal tract to the vaginal 
tract.   However, anal sex is still not a very good method of birth 
control.  Semen leaking from the anus after intercourse may drip 
across the perineum (the short stretch of skin separating vulva and 
anus) and cause what is known as a 'splash' conception.  The failure 
rate for this is surprisingly high!
 8% of couples of who use anal sex 
as a method of birth control have babies each year.  

11.     What if I don't like it?

You may find that anal sex just isn't for you.  That's fine.  Nothing 
says that you have to indulge in something that doesn't make you feel 

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What is cunnilingus?

Cunnilingus is the fine art of making love to a vagina with your 
mouth and tongue. It is a delicate skill, requiring patience, 
practice, and dedication to get it right, but any woman you learn to 
do it right for will appreciate you all the more for it.

What applies to the penis applies to the vulva-- every one is 
different, requiring a different touch to make its owner happy. But 
few tools can equal the tongue for the amount of pleasure it can 
deliver to a happy vagina.

This article assumes that you know what a vulva looks like and can 
identify with some precision the mons veneris, labia majora, clitoral 
hood, clitoris, labia minora, urethra, vagina, and perineum, to name 
them (approximately) from top to bottom. 

How fast should I go?

This isn't an attack. Don't go after the clitoris like a fireman 
attacking a fire. Quite often at first, the clitoris is far too 
sensitive for direct stimulation. Lick around it, stimulating the 
hood, teasing her inner labia, tasting her. Take your time and listen 
to her. Some women make noise, and some do not. It will be a while 
before you learn exactly what your lover prefers as far as oral sex 
is concerned.

Some women may like additional stimulation-- a finger or two into the 
vagina, or perhaps even the anus. She may want your hands to reach up 
and play with her breasts, or she may want your fingers to hold her 
labia apart so that your tongue can get at her vulva more directly. 

I've heard cunnilingus doesn't taste good.

If the taste or smell bothers you or is a concern, ask her to wash 
first. Most people who enjoy cunnilingus agree that a clean vagina is 
a good, if acquired, taste.

As a woman nears her climax, she may want more direct stimulation. In 
general, fast, rhythmic stimulation is most effective at causing 
climax-- but there shouldn't be a rush to get there. Take your time 
and learn to appreciate what you can do for her. 

What about cunnilingus during menstruation?

Some people are particularly turned off at the suggestion of 
cunnilingus during menstruation. If it is a concern to you, then 
wait. A tampon may well hold the blood back, as will a diaphragm, but 
some men can't stand the taste anyway. If your partner is healthy, 
however, there is no particular danger in menstrual blood, and some 
women find that orgasms during their periods allievate cramps.