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Subject: {ASS} CELESTIAL FAQ 3.0 
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Date: 11 Aug 1999 01:25:50 GMT
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CELESTIAL FAQ 3.0  - Aug 7, 1999
Frequently Asked Questions about Celestial Reviews by Celeste.

Table of Contents:

The following topics are addressed in the FAQ:

1.  Who are you?
2.  What makes you competent to write these reviews?
3.  Why are you doing this?
4.  What is your unique perspective?
5.  How do you select stories to review?
6.  Are there any kinds of stories you prefer not to review?
7.  What is your rating system?
8.  Where can I find back issues of reviews?
9.  Do you care about the feelings of the people you pan?
10.  Will you give a low ratings to a well written story that just doesn't suit
your tastes?
11.  You're an English teacher.  What role does grammar play in your ratings?
12.  How much do you get paid for writing these reviews?
13.  Will you accept criticism?
14.  Do you have advice for writers who want to improve?
15.  The stories are often no longer available by the time you post your
reviews.  Could you send me a copy of some of the stories that sound
16.  What are some specific FTP locations or Web Sites at which I can find
these stories?
17.  What are the names of some of the best authors on a.s.s.?
18.  Is it OK for archivists or BBS operators to repost your reviews?
19.  Can authors repost your reviews when they repost their stories?
20.  Why are you posting this on a.s.s instead of a.s.s.d.?

Here are the answers to these questions:

1.  Who are you?

I am a female reader and writer of erotic short stories. The only story that I
have posted to this newsgroup is "Virtuous Reality."  Under a different
pseudonym, I have also published a novel that has been moderately successful in
the popular press.  Although it is a romance novel, it is not a.s.s. material. 
To avoid stereotyping, I'll state my age broadly  - I am between 40 and 50
years old. I am an English teacher at a public high school, and that's the main
reason I use pseudonyms in my writing.  (The pillars of the community would
have my ass if they knew I fantasized about something besides "The Great
Gatsby.")  I am also active in my children's PTA and in my church.  I don't
feel that my enjoyment of erotica contradicts these roles; but I don't want the
issue to detract from my effectiveness in these other roles.

2.  What makes you competent to write these reviews?

There are lots of people who read a.s.s who would be competent to write good
reviews.  My main qualification is that I am willing to do so.  I also think I
offer a unique perspective.  Many readers who write to me say that I "add class
to a.s.s."  That flatters me.  Many readers also suggest that I seem to be
typical of the "literate" a.s.s. reader (as if there were non-literate readers
of this newsgroup!).  Others state that I seem to lack a clear understanding of
pedophile and sex slavery stories.  These critics are probably right, although
many of them say that I am at least honest and am "improving."  The main reason
I review stories in these categories is that the authors sometimes ask me to do
so.  The authors themselves usually appear grateful to get my reviews. My
advice is for you to know where I am coming from, and to evaluate my reviews
accordingly. Almost everyone agrees that even if my reviews "really suck," at
least they tell what the stories are about; and that's helpful in selecting
stories to read.

3.  Why are you doing this?

I read a.s.s for a long time before I decided to write reviews.  Then I found a
set of reviews by someone who used the name Coyote Wyoming.  I was just plain
grateful.  Without reviews I could select stories only by brief titles, the
accompanying "alphabet soup," and sometimes by recognizing the names of the
authors.  And so I thought maybe somebody else would be equally grateful if I
wrote some reviews of my own.  Coyote Wyoming has long since retired from
writing reviews, but I have persisted with just a few interruptions.  I think
my main motivation is that I have a blind faith that people who express
themselves well and accurately are more worth listening to than those who do
not do so.  Besides, I think the public feedback inherent in these reviews
gives good writers a reason to take pride in their work.  They need a perk now
and then.

4.  What is your unique perspective?

As I said in Question 1, I am a middle-aged female.  I am also a mother, and
one of my daughters is a teenager.  I don't want my kids reading trash; but I
want to be free to read whatever I want myself; and I want them to grow up with
a respect for love and sex.  I have been madly in love with a wonderful man for
a long time, and I plan to be even more madly in love with this man (my
husband) until we grow old together.  I believe in sexual happiness and sexual
fantasy; but I also believe in sexual ethics.  I subscribe to many of the
beliefs of Alex Comfort and Shere Hite.  (In fact, I gave my daughter a book by
Comfort and his wife entitled "The Facts of Loving" when she first showed an
interest in sex on television.)  I have friends who are gay or lesbian, other
friends who engage in a lot of recreational sex just for the fun of it, and
others who cheat on their lovers.  I like them, and I enjoy their stories; but
I have never made love to anyone except my husband; and I don't plan to do so. 
Nevertheless, both he and I enjoy sexual fantasies, which we share with each
other.  We don't keep careful statistics, but I think we "do it" about five
times a week.  (I recently learned that there's a scientific study that says
that this should be good for my skin complexion.) I think the world (and
a.s.s.) is full of people like us.  I don't condemn people who have different
beliefs (unless these beliefs become harmful or destructive).  My husband
enjoys my writing, and I enjoy reading erotic stories and occasionally watching
erotic movies with him.  We distinguish between reality and fantasy.  I guess
my overall perspective is that it's possible to have a lot of fun with sex and
still be ethical and responsible about it.

5.  How do you select stories to review?

I just take stories off a.s.s when they catch my attention.  (One way to catch
my attention is to use the <*> symbol (an asterisk between less than and
greater than signs) somewhere in your title line.  Also, if you e-mail me a
copy of your story just before or as soon as you post it, that helps a lot.  I
try to review stories rapidly enough so that readers can pull the stories off
a.s.s. if my reviews make any of them sound interesting.  I can read only a
limited number of stories each week; and once a story has been posted for more
than a week, I tend to let it slide, figuring that most readers will no longer
be able to find it on their postings.  

Occasionally someone asks me to review a specific story that has "just been
posted."  Here's my problem.  I check a.s.s. DAILY and look for stories I might
like to review.  I download these each day, and then have my service mark them
as "read."  That means I won't see them again, unless I go to a lot of trouble.
 If the stories that are requested appeared before I last checked, I might have
missed them, because I wasn't looking for them - at least they didn't catch my
attention.  Then I had my service mark all those stories as "read," and so I
won't see them again, unless I make a specific attempt to look for them, which
seems to be an unfair request to make of me.  If the stories appeared after my
last check, I'll be able to pick them up the next day.

If *I* were the person making the request, I would not expect the reviewer to
make unusual sacrifices to review a story for me.  I would just send the
reviewer a copy of the story.  If the reviewer already has a copy or doesn't
want to review it, she/he can just trash it.  If you are the author of the
stories or if you have a copy of them on disk or on your hard drive, you could
help me a lot by just sending them to me by e-mail.  I would appreciate that a

6.  Are there any kinds of stories you prefer not to review?

Obviously there is a limit on how much time I have to work on these reviews,
and so I try to read stories that I'll enjoy.  Therefore, I usually ignore
stories that look utterly illiterate.  I also tend to skip stories that I think
will be full of absolutely mindless violence, because they just aren't fun for
me.  I also am inclined to skip pedophile stories, because I think children
should be allowed to grow up without adult exploitation.  I know children who
have been molested, and I don't think what happened to them was funny.  It
ruined their lives, and I have a hard time separating reality from fantasy when
I read such stories. I probably miss some good stories because of my biases. 
Among non-sex stories, biases like these would rule out "The Tell-Tale Heart,"
which I consider to be the best short story ever written.  My compromise is to
read these stories only when I have good reason to do so - for example, when
they are written by an author I already know to be good or when an author sends
me a copy of a story and asks me to review it.

A major exception to the bias expressed in the previous paragraph can be found
in parodies.  I have no trouble reading about the kids on Home Improvement
humping their mom or Eddie Haskell doing it with the Beaver's mother.

I also tend to skip magic and sorcery stories, because I simply have never
gotten into that sort of fantasy world; I would probably be an ignorant
reviewer.  For similar reasons I tend to skip stories that are based on TV
series or novels with which I am unfamiliar.  For example, I don't know what or
who Sailor Moon is and I have never watched an entire episode of 90210 or
Lazarus Man. I tend to read stories on such topics only when I have good reason
to do so.  So if you want me to review a story that you think I might consider
offbeat, your best bet is to send me a copy of a story and ask me to review it.
 An interesting by-product of writing these reviews is that I have broadened my
cultural perspective.  For example, I joined a conversation on the crew of the
Starship Enterprise at a recent cocktail party.  I'll probably be embarrassed
someday, since my knowledge of the Enterprise is based almost completely on
sexual parodies.

I probably miss some good stories because of my biases, and I appreciate it
when authors send me good stories that help me expand my horizons.  For
example, when I started reviewing I would never have expected to enjoy
transgender or watersport stories; but I have read several in each category
that have changed my viewpoint (if not my sex life).  In fact, I have to admit
that I have even begun to enjoy a good bdsm story now and then.

I urge authors to realize that there are lots of readers like me.  If you want
to write for a wide audience, therefore, you should consider making your
stories interesting _even to readers who are not initially attracted to your
ideas.  For example, don't assume that all readers will automatically think
violence or pissing on your lover is wonderful - build a rationale for unusual
behavior into the story.

7.  What is your rating system?

For the first 64 issues of Celestial Reviews I used a simple 10=outstanding to
1=awful rating system.  I found I was giving too many 10's and looked for a way
to improve the system.  The solution I chose was to give each story THREE
ratings, each ranging from 1 to 10; and since these are Celestial Reviews, I
named each rating after a goddess.

Athena.  Since Athena was the Greek Goddess of Wisdom, the Athena rating
describes the technical quality of the story.  This rating covers such matters
as grammar, spelling, formatting, and creative use of the language.  A story
with essentially no serious grammar, spelling, or usage problems receives a
rating of 8.  To get a rating of 9 or 10, the author has to do something
creative with the language.  Don't let that scare you; I consider my own
writing to be worthy of a 10 in this category!

Venus.  Since Venus was the Roman Goddess of Love and Storytelling, this rating
describes such matters as plot and character development.  I tried to focus
mostly on this aspect in the past, but the ratings were contaminated by the
Athena influence.  (For you students out there - until just now, Venus was not
the Goddess of Storytelling.  Do not use this answer on any tests in school.) 
Since this is a newsgroup for sex stories, hot sex that makes sense could
contribute to a high rating here.

Celeste.  Since I am the self-proclaimed Goddess of, the
Celeste rating describes how much I myself liked the story.  I have described
my personal interests and preferences elsewhere in this FAQ.  I am not
demanding that authors try to please me, but I know that a lot of readers have
interests that are similar to my own.  Authors who receive high ratings in
other categories and a low Celeste rating can console themselves with the
knowledge that I would give Henry James, James Joyce, and John Milton low
ratings for almost all their writings. Stories leading directly or indirectly
to an orgasm in which I participate in my real life are likely to receive very
high ratings; but so are stories that make me laugh or intrigue me with their
clever plot.  I also enjoy stories that suggest that people with what I'll call
conventional value systems can still have a rich sex and fantasy life.

Ratings look like this:  

      Athena (technical quality): 8
      Venus (plot & character): 10
      Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8 

This set of ratings describes a story that made few or no grammar mistakes, had
a plot that was extremely well-developed, and appealed fairly strongly to me. 
On the summary line, I simply list these as three separate ratings: {"Name of
Story" by Author (topic) 8, 10, 8}

One concern is that this use of the names of goddesses might appear to involve
an affiliation with a specific religion.  This is nonsense.  I am not really a
goddess.  I also have my doubts about the authenticity of Venus and Athena.

8.  Where can I find back issues of reviews?

The best place to look is in the Deja News server.  This free service is found
at  http//  To find all my reviews, enter the search words
" celeste".  This will get you all my reviews in their current
database - plus any other a.s.s entries that contain the word "celeste".  To
get older reviews, change the parameters to use the "older" database.

In addition, when a story that I have reviewed has recently been reposted, I'll
try to repost the review, if I notice it.  If you repost a story, please
contact me, so that I'll know to repost the review.  Readers appreciate this
service.  Even if you or they thoroughly disagree with my review, this practice
is likely to be helpful to everyone.

I am aware that people are archiving my reviews and may be willing to make
these archives available to the general public.  The most workable source that
I know of for a large number of older reviews is:

The Bear's Den at .

There used to be an a.s.s.m. archive, but it is currently non-functional. I
hope it comes back to life.

IMPORTANT: If you modify a story before you repost it - which may be a good
idea - please tell me.  I do not have time to re-download stories that I think
are identical to the ones I have already reviewed.  If I know no different,
I'll probably just repost the old review.

9.  Do you care about the feelings of the people you pan?

Yes.  I hope they take the criticism positively and constructively.  My e-mail
tells me that this is overwhelmingly the case.

10.  Will you give a low rating to a well written story that just doesn't suit
your tastes?

I try to be objective.  However, I do not feel that it is sensible to evaluate
a story entirely on style or how well it fits a genre.  For example, if Jeffrey
Dahmers (the mass murderer) published a grammatically correct, detailed
description of how he seduced young men, drilled holes in their heads, and had
sex with them before he killed and ate them, I think I would consider the
content and social implications as well as the style in giving this a rating. 
I don't consider this to be a simple "lifestyle" choice.  If he claimed that
the young men enjoyed having this happen to them, I would point out in my
review that I thought this was a really stupid assertion. Likewise, as a woman
I find that I am sometimes turned off by some of the bdsm that insinuates that
women enjoy being degraded.  This influences my reviews, but I try to be fair
about it by stating that this bias affects me (when I am aware of it); and so
readers can decide for themselves how they should let my insights influence
their decision regarding whether to read a story.  Genuine lifestyle
differences (e.g., mm and TG stories) don't seem to bother me - although I
admit that I might miss something in them.  But that's the purpose of this FAQ;
if you know where I am coming from, you can evaluate my comments more
accurately.  I don't LOOK for stories that don't appeal to my interests
(because I am busy and have many stories to read that I actively enjoy), but I
think I review them fairly when someone calls them to my attention.

11.  You're an English teacher.  What role does grammar play in your ratings?

I tend to be paranoid about giving an erotic story a low rating just because it
has bad grammar.  But if the grammar or style gets in the way of understanding
the story, that's bound to lower the rating.  (One of my readers hit the nail
on the head when he/she said, "When stories have good grammar, I can predict
what's going to happen next.  I do this unconsciously.  Then I confirm my
predictions as I read.  When the story has bad grammar, I cannot do this; and
that interferes with my reading.")  My advice to authors is to have someone
else proofread the story.  Or at least read it over carefully yourself before
you post it.  Since you'll almost certainly be using a word processor, you'll
find that it's easy (and actually fun) to make corrections.  If you're using a
primitive text processor that comes with your e-mail program, consider writing
the story first on the word processor and then pasting it into your mailer. 
That's what I do.  Most readers (not just English teachers) will ignore
occasional errors, but they are usually offended by writers who show little
respect for them by not proofreading their work.

I used to try to coordinate a proofreading service for authors.  When I got
overworked, Miss Behavin' offered to take over for me. If you are an author and
would like to have someone proofread and respond to your work before your post
it, you can probably find help just by asking in a.s.s.d. or by contacting Miss
Behavin'.  Likewise, if you are willing to help an author develop his/her
writing, make this offer known to the a.s.s.d. community.  Reacting to the
prepublication work of an author can be a very enjoyable activity.

12.  How much do you get paid for writing these reviews?

Right!  My "pay" for writing these reviews consists of four elements.  First I
get to read some good stories and enjoy some good fantasies.  Second, I get the
feeling that maybe I am helping writers improve their stories (and perhaps also
the rest of their lives).  Third, sometimes readers or authors send me e-mail
with their comments; and I enjoy intelligent interactions.  Fourth, I find
writing these reviews to be a growth experience.  The activity of writing the
reviews and interacting with readers and writers causes me to think things over
and come to insights that would otherwise not have occurred to me.  If this
encourages any of you to write to me or to the authors of the stories, I am
willing to split this "pay" with you.  Seriously, the authors of the stories
often enjoy knowing that someone cares enough to drop them a line, telling them
what you liked or disliked about a story.  If you do this, be as specific and
constructive as possible.

13.  Will you yourself accept criticism?

Sure.  But try to be constructive and polite.  Please do not bother me with
passionate suggestions regarding sexual activities in which we might engage
together (or impossible activities that you may recommend for me to perform by
myself). I am really not interested.  If you have a good fantasy about what you
would like to do to me sexually, write a story about it and post it.

14.  Do you have advice for writers who want to improve?

I give this advice to budding writers of erotica who feel they are being
neglected by their public: 

(a) Have an angle (topic, point of view, or whatever you want to call it) and
introduce it early.  Give the readers a reason to want to read the story.

(b) Don't waste your time with irrelevant details.

(c) Use an effective writing style.  It is sometimes effective to write in a
deliberately illiterate style in order to achieve an effect; but even people
who say they don't care about grammar become turned off when writing becomes
just plain confusing.

(d) Make the sex scenes achieve the effect you want.  For example, not all
erotic stories are supposed to be "hot"; but if yours is supposed to be
arousing, you yourself should become at least moderately aroused when you
reread the story.  Try to look at the story from the point of view of your
readers.  If you expect to turn on respectable but sexy high school English
teachers, try to imagine someone of that description reading your story and
imagine how she will feel while she is reading your words.

(e) Follow rules for good grammar, such as those posted in my Celestial Grammar
and Advanced Celestial Grammar.

15.  The stories are often no longer available by the time you post your
reviews.  Could you send me a copy of some of the stories that sound

This is really impractical.  I cannot do it.  On the other hand, if an author
sees a review of his/her story, there's nothing to keep him/her from reposting
the story.  And it's OK with me if you attach my review; as long as you don't
change it.  Also, I am maintaining a database of the stories I review; and if I
notice a story being reposted after I have reviewed it, I'll try to repost the
review of that story as soon as possible.  If you contact me when you repost,
I'll be more likely not to miss your story.

Since readers have often commented that they cannot find the stories I have
reviewed, because they disappear from the posting services too rapidly, I have
implemented the suggestion of posting the author's e-mail address with the
review.  I don't see this as breaking confidentiality, since I am getting the
address out of the publicly posted story anyway.  Please remember that the best
way to get the story is from the postings.  (If a thousand people read a story
and all thousand of them request it directly from the author, this would be an
unreasonable burden.)  If this policy poses an inconvenience to authors, I
would appreciate it if they would let me know. I also have an accomplice
(currently Techguy), who helps out by finding web links for all the stories
that I review.

Finally, it may be a good idea to look for stories written by authors you have
learned to respect.  In Question 17 I list several authors whose stories I look

16.  What are some specific Web Sites or FTP locations at which I can find
these stories?

First, let me point out that Ole Joe's " - A Subculture," which
was last updated as Version 10 on April 10, 1998 contains an extremely
comprehensive listing of authors, their stories, and some important sites. Ole
Joe can be contacted at

Here are the names and addresses of some people who archive their own or
others' stories:

{Note that this site list probably contains inaccuracies.  I have tested all
the sites and marked with an asterisk those that worked for sure. If a site was
gone, I have left the author's name, with no address. If you know a correct
address for any of these authors' sites, please send it to me. I'll try to fix
them in FAQ 3.1.}

Ann Douglas 

*Anne Arbor's stories are archived at

*Anon747 has a site with some stories and a lot of cross-references at

*Baird Allen has a home for several authors' stories (including his own) at

*BillyG archives his stories at

*Bronwen's stories can be found at


*David L. (


*DG's stories are archived at

*Elf Sternberg (

*Estragon (
and (

*Hawk Richards Storyboard

*Janey's stories can be found at

Jordan Shelbourne 

*Kim's stories are archived at

*Lord Malinov archives his stories at

*Mark Aster (

*Mary Anne Mohanraj (

*Mat Twassel:

*Mike Hunt's stories are archived at

*Miss Behaavin's stories can be found at

Patrick Donovan

*Poison Ivan's stories are archived at

*Shelby Bush's stories (including many sitcom parodies) can be found at

Sisters Ng 

Taria {rhymes with aria} 

*Tooshoes (

*Tom Bombadil's stories are at

*The Trinity Trilogy by Tom Trinity is archived at


Brother Cadfael 

*Simon bar Sinister has a Mind-Control Story Archive at

*Superheroine erotica stories can be found at

Uther Pendragon

*Vickie Tern's stories can be downloaded for free at
I assume other TG authors could be located at the same site by dropping
Vickie's name and using the index.

Alt.Sex.Stories Text Repository used to archives all of my Celestial Reviews
plus many, many stories in an organized manner at  As far as I can ascertain, this
address doesn't work right now; but it was wonderful when it did

Some of the Celestial Reviews are archived at The Bear's Den at As far as I know, your best bet
for finding older reviews is Use the Adult Archive.
For older reviews, use the Older Adult Archive.

If any of these are no longer current or if there are others I should add,
please contact me.  I am interested only in free, non-commercial sites.
However, I'll also plug the following organization; although they charge for
membership, they GIVE stories away to non-members.  (I suppose they hope you'll
eventually join.)

The BackDrop Club  offers a service of helping people who are looking for a
specific file, story, or a chapter or section of a story. If you are an adult
and know the name of the file you wish to receive, send a request using the
following format:

SUBJECT:  (the name of the file you wish as a single word)

I HAVE used this service myself, and it is my opinion that it is NOT a rip-off.
 If you need more information, contact  The BackDrop Club
also has a Web Page at

Finally, Deja News ( is a search engine available on the World
Wide Web.  It is possible (without additional cost beyond your service that
accesses the Web) to find most of the stories I review by entering a few key
words into the search box.  To expedite matters, I suggest using
"" as part of your search strategy.  You'll get a short list of
"hits," one of which will include the story you are looking for.  You then
click on the story's brief title, and the whole text pops up on your screen,
where you can save it to disk - even if your service does not give you access
to the a.s.s. newsgroup.  A similar free service is offered at

17.  What are the names of some of the best authors on a.s.s.?

First, let me point out that Ole Joe's " - A Subculture," which
was last updated as Version 5 on October 1, 1997 contains an extremely
comprehensive listing of authors and their stories.  Ole Joe can be contacted

I realize I am going to hurt someone's feelings by leaving him/her off this
list, and I'm sorry about that.  By putting a name on this list, I am stating
that I think readers can safely select almost any story by that author and find
a literate treatment of a topic related to sex.  Here's the list (arranged

      A. Van Peebles
      Al Steiner
      Alan Mathews
      Ann Douglas
      Anne Arbor
      Anon 747
      The Bear (also referred to as the New Bear)
      Celeste (C'est moi!) 
      Cobalt Jade
      D.A. Ignatius (DarkNites)
      Dafney Dewitt
      deirdre (Sherwood Anderson)
      Dirty Dawg (Dawson Rambo)
      DJ (the artist formerly known as DJ810)
      Dorvis Slaughter
      Dr. Watson
      Ed Stauff
      Elf Sternberg
      Eli the Bearded
      Friar Dave
      Gina Marie
      Green Onions
      Jim Fix
      Joe Parsons
      John Thomas
      Jonathan Dzoba
      Jordan Shelbourne
      Linda B.
      Lori Grenci
      Lord Malinov
      Maria Gonzales
      Mark Aster (Allen Sisters Stories)
      Mark Bastable
      Mary Ann Mohanraj
      Mary Jorsay Gandmar
      Mat Twassel
      Michael Dagley
      Michael K. Smith
      Michelle Lurker
      Mike Hunt
      Morgan Preece
      Ng Sisters  (Deidre & Tammy)
      OddManOut Anywhere
      Paddy Toute
      Patrick Donovan
      Peter V. Principle
      Poison Ivan
      Pulp Fan
      Rajah Dodger
      Renae Nicks
      Rhett Dreams
      S. Leigh Farmer
      Santo J. Romeo (Author of Martha Jane)
      Shelby Bush
      Sidney Durham
      Simon bar Sinister
      SueNH (also WithSue)
      Summer's Rose
      Sven the Elder
      Tom Bombadil
      Tom in Sacramento
      Tom Trinity
      Uncle Mike
      Uther Pendragon
      Vickie Tern
      Vickie Morgan
      Walter Slaven
Arranging these authors alphabetically was itself an interesting experience. It
had never occurred to me that listing authors alphabetically BY FIRST NAME
would make sense; but when almost all authors are using pseudonyms, that seemed
to be the best approach!

Here's a second list.  These are authors with whom I am not as familiar as I am
with those on the first list. By putting a name on this list, I am stating that
I think readers can _probably_ select a story by that author and find a good
story.  Undoubtedly some of these authors write stories that are even better
than those by authors on the first list; maybe they'll move up to the other
list the next time I do this.

      Admiral Cartwright
      Alan C. McD
      Allison George
      Bill Green
      Bobbi Sue
      Brother Cadfael
      Crimson Dragon
      Daniel Shechori
      Dave Schulte
      David L
      Deb Atwood
      El Sol
      Emerson Laken-Palmer
      Eric Shon
      Frank McCoy
      G Smith
      Hawk Richards
      H.D. Meister
      Homer Vargas
      Horny Toad
      I Robert
      J Boswell
      James Dawson
      Jefferson James
      John A.
      Jon Hallmark
      Kid Dynamite
      MD James
      Morpheus' Twin
      Nom de Plume
      Of 2 minds
      Oscar Paco
      P.D. Michael
      Phil Phantom
      Richard Baudouin
      Roger P. Tipe
      Sarah Fox Jahn
      Saucy Wench
      Solo Polyphony
      Steve Black
      Thomas M. Carvett (TMC)
      Walter Fortner
      Wolfgang Amadeus
I am absolutely certain that I will offend someone by my posting of these
lists.  Please try to get over it.  If your name or the name of a favorite
author is not on this list, assume that I made a mistake.  If you send me
suggestions, I probably will not apologize; but I may add suggested names to
future lists.

In addition, names on a.s.s. are an inexact science.  I suspect I have listed a
few people twice - under different aliases.  In addition, there are no doubt
writers other than the ones to whom I intended to refer who post with names
very similar to those on my lists.  For example, there is another author named
Celeste, who I understand is almost my equal in the sack, but doesn't write as
well as I do - or is it vice versa?

It would be helpful to readers if the authors would put their names in the
title line of the posting.  A minor adjustment like that may make it possible
for readers to find your stories.

18.  Is it OK for archivists or BBS operators to repost your reviews?

This is fine with me, as long as you give me proper credit and as long as you
make it clear that my reviews are not an integral part of whatever else you are
doing - and as long as you don't break any laws by doing so.  In other words,
if you run a BBS where you post lots of these stories, it's OK with me if you
post my reviews as a service to your readers; but just be clear that I
personally am not a writer for your BBS.  An example of an improper use would
be posting these reviews in a school newspaper that is clearly designed for
underage readers. I do not have time to send these reviews individually to
several hundred persons.

I'll also occasionally post an update from my database that will state the
titles of all the reviews, the rating each received, and in which issue the
review can be found.  I call these updates Celestial Summaries.  If persons who
post the reviews on their BBS, FTP site, or homepage will give me appropriate
information, I'll be happy to cooperate as much as I can; and I'll disseminate
this information, if you want me to do so.

19.  Can authors repost your reviews when they repost their stories?

If authors or reposters wish to do so, they have my permission to post my
reviews at the same time they repost their stories.  This could be a useful
service to readers.  They can do this by pasting my review of their story
(leaving out the rest of the stories in the same review) into a separate
message, and adding this brief tag:  "This review is taken from Celestial
Reviews by Celeste (  The review was written independently
of consultation with the author and does not imply collaboration."  At the end
of my review, you can add your own comments - which might include rebuttals of
my criticism or statements about how the story has changed in response to the
review.  The review's title should follow this format [REVIEW: Name of Story].
BBS managers, of course, can follow this same practice.

If you prefer, you can simply repost the numerical ratings (e.g., Celestial
Ratings: 10, 9, 9).

20.  Why are you posting this on a.s.s instead of a.s.s.d.?

Not as many people read a.s.s.d.  I do crosspost to a.s.s.d.  If people in
general followed the rule of posting only STORIES on a.s.s. and discussions on
a.s.s.d., then I'd also follow that rubric myself.  As it is, my reviews will
be more in the spirit of a.s.s. than a lot of the things (like the "me too" and
"wannafuck" postings) that appear there. After all, only about 20% of the
a.s.s. messages are actually stories.