Dinah

Many years ago when I was a young and naive fellow, just a couple years

out of college, I spent a few weeks travelling around Britain. One day I

found myself in Leeds with nothing to do. Then I remembered an old pal

named Dave who lived there, so I called him up. I hadn't really kept in

touch with him, but he seemed glad to hear from me. He gave me

directions to his favorite pub, which was only a few blocks from my

hotel, and said he and his girlfriend Sue would meet me there in half an

hour.

I met Dave and Sue at the bar, and we ordered some beers. Sue turned out

to be a very busty blonde bimbo, probably a great fuck, but she had

difficulty discussing anything more complex than the weather. After a

few beers, she started pulling down on the low-cut neckline of her

blouse and making eyes at me. Out of deference to my friend Dave, I

tried to ignore the come-on. After a few minutes of this, Sue flashed me

an angry look, then she turned to Dave and said in a too-sweet voice,

"We've got to get a woman for Al! Can't have him going to bed alone

tonight. Let's see... How about Dinah? She's always hanging around here

somewhere, downing the pints. Yeah! She's perfect..."

Dave started to argue, "Fuck, Sue, I don't know if Al wants that kind

of...", but before he got very far, Sue yelled out "Hey, Dinah, I've got

a man for you!" I looked in the direction she was yelling, and saw a

woman surrounded by half a dozen men who looked like professional

drunks. They were sitting at a table covered with empty bottles of beer,

and were all laughing like hyenas. When Sue yelled out, the woman

stopped laughing, stood up, and slowly walked toward our table.

As soon as the woman stood up, I could see that Sue was going to pay me

back for ignoring her advances. My face turned beet red, then I looked

over at Dave, and he seemed to be equally embarrassed.

Dinah was, shall we say, a very healthy girl. Not very tall, but as

broad as a barn door. Actually, she wasn't really very fat, but she was

one of those women whose hips are abnormally wide, so she carried a lot

of excess weight in her thighs and arse. Despite her size, she looked

barely old enough to be out of high school.

Sue introduced us, and Dinah stuck out her hand. "Pleased to meet you!"

she said cheerfully. I took her chubby hand, and on a whim, touched it

to my lips instead of shaking it.

"My God! A gentleman!" cried Dinah. "Where the hell did you come from,

mate?" She pulled a chair up right next to mine and plopped herself

down. I ordered a couple more pints and soon we were talking and

laughing like old friends. Like Sue, Dinah was a pretty dim bird, but

she seemed to have a much kinder heart. She had a dirty, earthy sense of

humor, which turned me on, and I got a real charge out of watching her

fat tits shake when she laughed. Every time she finished another beer, I

noticed she had a little more tit-meat peeking over her neckline.

I'm not sure what time Dave and Sue left, but a little later, when it

looked like the pub was about to close, I invited Dinah to come back to

my hotel room. She said, "Okay, but I've got to have a wazz first."

I told her my hotel was only a few streets away and had a much cleaner

bathroom than the bar, if she thought she could wait. "Oh, thank you,"

she said. "Anything would beat the stinking shitter in this place!" I

had to agree, since I'd been to the Gents' several times that night and

it stunk to high heaven. Dinah, on the other hand, had not visited the

powder room even once since she sat down beside me. She obviously hated

the pub's toilet facilities.

I paid the tab and helped Dinah stand up. We were both a bit unsteady

after so much beer, but by holding onto each other, we managed to walk

at a decent pace. When we got about half-way to my hotel, Dinah suddenly

stopped and leaned against a lamp post. "Oh, bugger! I've really got to

piss!" she said. "I just can't hold it any more!"

I looked around for some structure that might give her some privacy, but

there wasn't any. We were just about at the middle of a long warehouse

wall, and the nearest alley was a hundred yards away. To make matters

worse, we'd stopped right under a street light, so the sidewalk was lit

up bright as day. The only good thing was the lack of traffic this late

at night.

"You have to go right now?" I asked. "Yes, and right here!" she cried.

"Look, Al, I've got to go and I don't care who sees me. Just be a love

and keep me from falling over, will ya?" Before I could even reply, she

had flipped up the back of her skirt and squatted down. I noticed she

wasn't wearing any panties. Quickly I knelt down behind her arse and put

my hands on her broad naked hips to steady her. Suddenly she let loose

with a huge torrent of piss. It splattered and splashed the sidewalk for

what seemed like several minutes. Fortunately for me, the sidewalk

sloped away from me, or I would have been swimming in the yellow pool

she was producing. As it was, her piss formed a lake that extended for

several yards down the narrow sidewalk.

Finally she shut off the firehose between her legs, but she didn't stand

up right away. I couldn't resist lowering my head to take a closer look

at her broad white arse cheeks. Suddenly she moaned and let out a huge

wet fart, right in my face. Then, before I could even catch my breath,

she opened her anus and began to shit, right there in front of me! I

watched in amazement as her arsehole squeezed out a long and very thick

turd, just inches from my nose. Then she slowly stood up.

"Thanks for your help, Al. Sorry if I grossed you out there at the end.

I didn't realize I had to dump until the urge just hit me, and then I

couldn't stop. You know how it is? But, fuck! Let me tell you! I really

needed that! I feel so much better now... Hey, babes, what's the matter?

You're not going to be sick, are you? I'm really sorry, Al. I should

have warned you to move back when I started to shit. I didn't think I

had such a big load in me. And fuck, it really stinks, doesn't it?"

"No, Dinah, it's okay," I replied. "Don't worry about me. Your arse

knows best what it wants to do, and when it wants to do it, right? I

always say it's better out than in!" That made her giggle. I was still

on my knees staring in disbelief at the log of steaming of shit on the

edge of that huge pool of piss. The smell must have been hideous, but

for some reason it didn't seem to bother me. Quite the contrary, in

fact! As I slowly stood up, I noticed that a sizeable erection had

snaked its way down my trouser leg.

I'd like to say that Dinah and I screwed like rabbits the rest of that

night, but I'm afraid we'd both had too much to drink. However, when we

got to the hotel room, we did manage one good session of doggy-style

fucking. In that position, I think the smell from her dirty arsehole,

which she hadn't wiped after taking a shit on the sidewalk, actually

helped keep me awake long enough to shoot my load into her cunt. I

remember she squealed like a pig when I filled her with sperm. She then

sucked me until I got hard again, and I made an effort to mount her in

the missionary position, but her belly got in the way, and we just fell

asleep in each other's arms.

During the night, I was vaguely aware of her getting up several times to

go to the bathroom for another piss. Then about dawn, I woke up to find

her sucking on my cock again. As soon as she got me all the way up to

full erection, she announced with a giggle, "Now don't move a muscle,

big boy! I'm gonna do the fuckin' this time!" She got on her knees and

straddled my legs, facing my feet. As I watched, she reached between her

legs, grabbed my cock, stuck it into her pussy, and quickly lowered her

body, taking my entire length in one stroke. "Oh, wow!" she gasped.

"That's one way to wake a girl up in the morning!!!"

Then she began fucking me, just like she'd promised. In my alcoholic

stupor the night before, I hadn't noticed how incredibly tight her cunt

was. This girl obviously did her Kegels! Each time she moved up or down

on me, she gave my cock a little extra squeeze from some hidden muscle

inside her. That, plus the sight of her huge buttocks bouncing up and

down like a pair of pink beach balls, had me ready to come in no time at

all.

I was feeling really good, when suddenly Dinah froze, with her arse at

the top of a stroke, and cried out "Oh hell! I think I've got to shit

again!" I'm not sure what came over me then, but for some reason, I

grabbed her arse with both hands, pulled it back down my swollen shaft,

and told her in a firm voice, "Do it on me, Dinah." At first she

struggled, trying to climb off my cock and run to the toilet, then when

she realized I wasn't going to let her get away, she relaxed and said,

"Okay, Al, if that's what you really want."

I relaxed my grip on her slightly, but still kept both hands on her big

buttocks just in case she changed her mind. Gradually she resumed moving

her arse up and down my length, and squeezing me with her wonderful

internal muscles. A couple of times she looked over her shoulder at me,

as if to ask whether I really wanted this to happen. I smiled a broad

reassuring smile back at her each time. Finally, right at the bottom of

one stroke, I heard her moan and saw her press her hand to the side of

her belly. Then as she slowly raised her arse, she opened her anus and

expelled an enormous turd, several inches long and two or three inches

thick. It fell with a heavy "plop" onto my stomach. "Good girl!" I

cried, and attempted to pull her arse back down my shaft. But this time

she seemed determined to stay at the top of her stroke, with only my

cock-head inside her.

I felt her hips tense up, and she let out a long sloppy- sounding fart.

Then, as I watched in fascination, her anus opened again, even wider

than before, and her bowels very slowly pushed out a huge cucumber-sized

turd. I heard her grunt several times as the glistening brown monster

stretched her arsehole to its limit. When the giant chunk of shit

finally dropped onto my stomach, it fell across her other turd, forming

an obscene brown cross.

It was hard to believe, but Dinah's bowels were not yet empty! Before

her anus even had time to close, she expelled another turd, not quite as

long but every bit as fat as the previous one. Then she took a deep

breath, let out a loud grunt, andshe shat out two more short but very

thick turds in quick succession.  At this point, I felt Dinah's hips

relax, and I sensed that her tremendous dump was over, at least for now.

My whole torso, from well above my navel all the way down to my cock,

seemed to be covered with Dinah's brown waste. This woman had an

incredible shit factory inside her arse! She'd just produced at least

twice as much shit as she'd dumped on the sidewalk last night, and she

hadn't even eaten anything in the meantime!

I can't begin to describe the incredible erotic pleasure I was feeling.

When Dinah dropped that enormous load of shit on me, I just about went

crazy! I had never been so aroused in my life! As I looked across the

huge pile of feminine feces sitting on my stomach, I saw the shaft of my

cock suddenly bulge, like it always does when I'm about to come. With

all my strength, I pulled Dinah's arse back down till I was buried to

the hilt in her slack, slippery dumper. Her broad arse smashed the turds

on my stomach into a soft cow pie. She squirmed as she felt herself

sinking into her own manure pile, but I held her tight, so her squirming

just smeared more and more of the brown mess across her huge white arse

cheeks. Suddenly my cock erupted in the biggest orgasm I'd ever had,

pumping tremendous geysers of sperm into Dinah's bowels for what seemed

like more than a minute. Her orgasm began at the same time and lasted

even longer than mine. As I watched her big shit-covered arse wriggling

in ecstasy on my spasming pole, I couldn't help but wonder, "Is this

heaven or what?"