Donatello Xi

Sweet Child of Mine

I never intended to have children. In fact, I tried actively to avoid it. I'm a boy-lover you see and I'd never trust myself around my own child, particularly if that child turned out to be a boy. It seems, however, that life has a way of playing these cruel jokes on a person and as I write this, I'm sitting up in my bed, with my little monkey asleep next to me. Michael is best thing that ever happened to me. He's turning 8 this year and about to start 2nd grade.

I don't think I have enough words in my head to describe the feeling I get every time I look at him, every time he smiles or says the silly things only 7-year-olds ever think of. That's why it's so hard to believe that I'm the same person who didn't want children. Now I know what you're thinking. Rest assured my willpower was not even close to strong enough to resist the lure of that gorgeous little body. Before I get to those details however, I need you to know how he came into my life.

I was 22 at the time, working for a sign writing company as a graphic designer. I had resigned myself to being completely alone for the rest of my life. I have zero interest in women, in fact vaginas kind of gross me out. Seriously I've had a couple of close encounters in the past and I couldn't bring myself to follow through, no matter how awesome the girls were. Of course, this meant everyone started assuming I was gay. Which is ok because I suppose it's true in a sense.

Anyway, because of this, many of friends and co-workers would feel that it was their duty to try and hook me up with some guy or girl and so they would take me out to bars and clubs and much to their disappointment, I would spend entire evenings chatting merrily to people and then bid them a goodnight afterwards and return to my little apartment. Don't get me wrong, I'm not shy, or reserved, and I do enjoy talking and socialising, but sex is off the table. My hand was all I ever needed, and sex with boys was completely out of the question. I knew the damage that sexual abuse could cause I was not going to be the cause of some poor kid's psychological issues.

So that was my life, and I was pretty happy with it. My work environment wasn't the best, but I enjoyed graphic designing. I had good friends and even though they drove me crazy with their incessant match-making, they were good fun. They were slowly coming around to the idea that I was going to be a bachelor my whole life. And then it all changed.

I had one very good female friend called Amy. Of all my friends, she got me. I even suspected she was aware of my secret love of boys but for whatever reason, she didn't do anything about it. One night we were all going out for a drink and Amy had invited another girl to join. She didn't know her very well, but she was a colleague of a friend and she liked to bring new people into our circle.

Her name was Sarah and as females go, she was very attractive. Not too much shorter than me, with an athletic build and sharp facial features. On that night she had her long brown hair tied up in and Asian style bun, complete with chopsticks. She seemed nice enough, and our conversations were pleasant. She was definitely into me, but I was oblivious at the time. Thinking back, I really should have seen it, but my mindset was different, and I just didn't notice. At one point during the evening I offered to buy the next round of drinks for the group and Sarah offered to help me carry. So, the two of us went to the bar, ordered the drinks and carried them over to the table. At least, that's what I thought we did. What I didn't realise was that Sarah had spiked my drink.

I don't really want to go into details as to what happened next, after all, that's not why you're here. Suffice it to say that my evening took an unexpected turn and I don't remember half of it. I was raped. By a woman. As traumatic as that experience was. It led to one of the highlights of my life. A year later, after I had withdrawn from my friends completely, after my depression was threatening to take my life, and having never spoken to anyone about what happened, Sarah rocked up at my door. I remember the day very clearly.

The doorbell rang, I was sitting in nothing but my boxer shorts, watching some old Star Trek reruns. I groaned as the doorbell rang again. And again. Finally, I got up and meandered towards the door. As I opened the door, my heart stopped when I saw it was Sarah. The object of my nightmares. She didn't look at me, and her face looked tired. She thrust a little bundle into my arms and said, "There, it's your problem now."

My mind felt completely disconnected from what was happening, I look down at the bundle and saw a little baby face fast asleep. As I looked up again, Sarah had already turned and was making her way, speedily, down the corridor. Thinking back, I should have called after her and demanded an explanation. I should have done something, anything. I should have, but I didn't.

As Sarah turned the corner at the end I stood still, in shock, for a minute or two before finally snapping out of it. I took the little baby inside and lay it down on my bed. And then panic started setting in. Did that just happen? Did Sarah really just hand me MY child? Did I seriously just become a father? Why now? Why didn't she come to me sooner? And then on top of the panic, I felt uncontrollable rage. How DARE she! After all this time, she rocks up and expects me to clean up HER mess! I'm so FUCKED. I can't raise a child. I don't WANT a child.

I paced up and down my bedroom, shouting at the little infant. I hated it. I wanted nothing more than to grab it and run after the whore who spawned it. In fact, I was just about to do that. Unfortunately (or perhaps, fortunately) my loud ranting caused it to wake up and start crying. At the sound of its cries I immediately calmed down. My god, that little person carries half my genes. It's MY child. I rushed over, picked the baby up and started doing my best to sooth it back to sleep.

I had no idea what I was doing but eventually it was fast asleep again. I lay down on the bed and placed the baby next to me. I lay there on my side, studying the baby's little face, which was becoming more beautiful the longer I stared. All the while there was a thought that I couldn't escape. I still didn't know if it was a boy or girl. I silently hoped that it was a girl, but a darker side of me was yearning for a boy.

I slowly reach out and lay a hand on the baby's stomach. Through the blanket it was wrapped in I could feel the warmth of its body. I moved my hand down towards its groin and started feeling around for signs of a tiny knob. Which was useless of course because I felt nothing but the thick material of a nappy beneath the blanket.

I sat up and started carefully unwrapping the baby blanket. I really didn't want it to wake up, not yet. As the layers of blanket fell away I was now presented with an almost naked baby. It just had a nappy on. Fortunately, it wasn't all that complicated to remove. I undid the little clips and the whole thing came loose. I pulled the nappy away and there it was, the cutest little penis I've ever known. My mind was reeling, and my heart was leaping. I had a son! At that point I fell completely in love and I knew that I was going to do everything I could to raise this boy into a happy and healthy young man.

Now of course it’s not really that easy, is it? You can't just hand your baby over to someone and the disappear into the night. In order for me to become Michael's sole parent, I firstly had to go for a paternity test to make sure he really was mine. God, that was an awful time, having fallen for the boy so completely I was terrified that Sarah had fucked some other poor guy and the baby was his. Fortunately, the test came back positive which meant he was indeed mine. I took it one step further though because I knew I didn't want Sarah waltzing back into his life one day, so I spent lots of money on a lawyer who got her to sign away her parental rights. She was no longer his mother. He was all mine.

Parenthood suited me more than I thought it would. My relationship with my son was no more than that of father and son. I decided shortly after getting him that I would not do anything sexual with him. This is one thing I didn't want to screw up. I loved that boy and reveled in watching him grow up. I loved his giggles when I blew on his tummy. I loved the look of sheer delight on his face when I chased him around the apartment before his bath. I loved the way he ran to me when I picked him up from creche. I never thought I'd need more from him. Unfortunately (or again, perhaps fortunately), as the years went by, my secret thoughts were becoming more and more prevalent.

He was five years old when I was first seriously tempted. I was doing my best to relieve myself before he woke up one morning. I was reading a story on PZA, stroking myself and enjoying the feeling when Michael came rushing in, buck naked. The question of why he was there and why he was naked didn't even occur to me. All I saw was a gorgeous little boy climbing onto my bed. Luckily my dick was covered by my duvet and all he saw was daddy on the laptop.

"Hello daddy!" he said, brightly, falling down on his tummy next to me. He lay his head on my stomach and threw his arms over me.

My heart was racing. Fate gave him the perfect little body and in my current mindset he was looking particularly delicious. A placed hand on his back and rubbed up and down the length of his back. God his skin was so smooth and warm. Filled with life. "Morning, Monkey" I said, trying not to sound so fricking out of breath. My hand made its way to his head and I ran my fingers through the baby soft dusty blonde locks of his medium length hair. His blue eyes looked up at me and his smile melted my heart.

My eyes, on the other hand could not stop glancing down at his little bum. As with most boys, Michael couldn't keep his legs still. So, while he was lying there next to me he was lifting his legs, spreading them apart and closing them again. Fuck, he was just about inviting me to explore his backside. My dick was growing stiff as I moved my hand slowly down the back of his neck, down his back and towards his beautiful bum. I knew that if I didn't stop myself then, I was going to do something I wouldn't regret. So, I stopped myself. I hastily encouraged him to go back to his room and get dressed and I went to the bathroom to finish what I started.

Now, in the two years since, I've done a lot of soul searching and even more research. I've been slowly dying on the inside every time I looked at my boy's stunning child body. I knew I wanted to act on my feelings, but I was terrified that it would fuck him up mentally. So, I looked up cases of childhood trauma to find the exact cause. Unfortunately, my findings were inconclusive. There are some kids who swear that sex was the best thing that happened to them and they grew up perfectly mentally healthy and then there are kids who go to therapy twice a week because someone touched them appropriately once.

I've therefore had to draw my own conclusions. And I decided two weeks ago to finally introduce sex games to my son. Our first time happened just a couple of hours ago. And it was beautiful.

I'd been trying to figure out a way to start that wouldn't be too direct, and so the obvious choice was his bath time. Bath time has always been our special time. I enjoy watching him play with his toys and the times I spend washing him are some of the most intimate moments we have. So, this evening we got ready for his bath as usual.

"Come on, Michael, the water is ready!" I shouted from the bathroom. Immediately I heard his footsteps running from the lounge.

"Never!" he shouted, dramatically. And so it began. He's never grown out of this ritual. I stormed out of the bathroom, and into the lounge.

I put on my best pirate accent "Come 'ere, ye scallywag. Ye cannot flee from me!" I looked around and saw his child feet sticking out from behind the couch. I made a dash for him and he bolted. I chased him around the lounge for a minute or two, all the while cursing his family and threatening to "run him through with me scabbard".

Finally, I had him cornered, and as a last ditch attempt at escape, he tried to dash between my legs. Perfect. I reached down and grabbed his ankles and lifted him into the air. With him swing happily below me, the room was filled with his delightful giggles. I carried him, swaying left and right, into the bathroom and held him over the bath.

"Now it be time to swim with the fishes," I said, lowering him towards the water.

There was a little panic in his voice and as shouted, "Daddy! I'm still dressed!" As I continued to lower him he screamed and put his hands down to stop himself from getting to the water. At last I pulled him up and put him down on the ground. As I sat down on the toilet seat, he sat up with puffed out cheeks. "You almost wetted me!"

"No, I didn't almost wetted you… I almost WET you," I said, winking at him. Michael was a cute kid, but he didn't like being teased and got angry rather quickly. It's something I know I'll have to work on, otherwise he's going to have a tough time at school. So, he got up and crossed his arms, "Don't TEASE me!" he said.

I pulled him closer for a hug. "Sometimes teasing can be fun, my boy. If you get upset every time someone says something you're going to be upset a lot. But of course, I know you like being upset don't you?" I knew which buttons to push. Michael has a little friend who is an angry child and we often talk about how Michael is so much happier. Being compared to his angry friend is always enough to get him smiling again.

"I'm not upset, I'm happy!" he said, finally returning my hug.

"Ok, happy monkey, time for bath." And time to get this show on the road already.

Michael nodded and gave me one last squeeze before standing up straight and pulling his Darth Vader t-shirt off. I don't know about you, but I could look at boy bodies for the rest of my life. Michael's hairless, smooth white torso is not only beautiful, but also unreservedly sexy. I needed to touch it. I opened my arms and asked "Mikey, could you give daddy another hug please?"

Michael didn't hesitate, and in fact, I suspect that being asked liked that boosts his little self-esteem because it hands him control. So, he more or less tackle-hugged me and I wrapped my arms all the way around him with my hands coming to rest on his tiny shoulders. I buried my head in his neck and breathed in deeply. God, I love this child. There is nothing quite like the smell of a boy.

With my arms still firmed locked around him, I lowered my hands to the waistband of his shorts. "Shall I take these off for you?" I asked, whispering in his ear. I felt him nod and my hands continued their important work. Hooking my thumbs under the elastic, I gently pulled his shorts down until I was hugging his hips. I lifted my head up to look at him. There's that face again. His relentlessly smiling blue eyes showed me that he was enjoying this extra special hug. His lips had never looked so inviting before.

Without saying anything further and leaned forward and pressed my lips against his. We gave kisses regularly, but I wanted this one to feel different for him. I kissed him very gently and lingered there for a few seconds. If you've ever kissed a boy you'd know what I was feeling. His soft lips were begging me to continue. But if you know boys you'd also know that they can break seemingly special moments quite brutally sometimes.

"Daddy," he said, pushing me away, "I need to bath, don't kiss me!"

As he pulled from my hug I gave a longing sigh and simply nodded "Yes, boy, let's get you all clean." I had planned to be the one to remove his underwear, but Michael was too fast for me and he unceremoniously yanked them down and stepped out of them. Before he climbed into the bath, I gave his bum a playful swat. He immediately put his hands on his backside and turned to face me.

"Hey! Don't!" he said with a giggle.

"Oh, sorry, my hand did that all by itself, it wasn't me!" I said with a grin. I took the moment to drink in his beauty. He was now completely naked, unashamed. My hands wanted to start exploring but I had to take things slowly. If his first time is scary or in any way unpleasant, I will never forgive myself.

Michael finally climbed into the bath and we spent some time playing with his toys and just enjoying our time together. At last I knew the time had come. "Stand up, monkey and let's get you washed." Depending on how he felt, he would sometimes wash himself quite happily, but most times he still wanted me to do it. Thankfully, this was one of the latter times. To safeguard against the obvious, I would usually use a sponge. I did some preparation beforehand however and made sure the sponge disappeared before I started.

Michael looked around for it and then looked at me. "Uh oh," he said in his adorable voice, "where's my sponge?"

I pretended to look around and finally said "Don't know, but it's ok, my hands work just as well." Oh god, my dick was already starting to stiffen in my pants as my mind started flooding with thoughts of what I was about to do. Michael handed me the soap and I started lathering his body. Once there was a healthy layer of soap over most of his body, I put the soap back in the dish. It was time to start 'washing' him.

I turned Michael away to face the wall and placed my hands on his shoulders. They really were so very small. I started massaging his shoulders and rubbing his neck. I made my way down his back, making sure I rub every inch of him. My rubbing was causing him to lose balance and so he placed his hands on the wall in front of him to steady himself. My adventures continued south until my hands were on his little hips. I could almost wrap my hands completely around him. I avoided his penis for now and instead used my palms to massage those glorious little buns of his.

Michael seemed to be enjoying this attention because when I peered around to look at him, his eyes were closed, and he had a contented look on his face. So far so good. As much as I wanted to keep my hands on his bum for eternity, I had to stick to my game plan. I continued to his thighs and down his legs. For the briefest moment I brought my hands up between his impossibly soft thighs, causing momentary contact between my thumbs and his nutsack.

My blood was pumping heavily now, and I was at risk of speeding up and ruining everything. I turned him around to face me. His eyes opened, and he smiled. If my head were in control, that smile would have been enough. But my head was not in control anymore. Before he could say whatever he was going to say, I reached around and put my left hand on his back and pulled him forward a little. My right hand was immediately on his stomach. As I had hoped, he put his hands on my shoulders to steady himself, which meant his face was intimately close to mine.

My hand worked itself up and down his torso, his silky soft skin was a wonderland for my fingers. I stared into his closed eyes as I spent a little time on each nipple. My hand then started rubbing in circles, larger and larger until there was only one more place to go. I've avoided his penis for so long. I've always insisted he clean it himself and I haven't touched it in a couple of years. So, for both of us, this was an interesting turn of events. I took his little dick in my hand completely and gently started working it around in my fingers. His eyes shot open and peered down at what I was doing.

When he shifted his gaze to me, I smiled warmly, "You okay, monkey?" I asked, starting to feel a response in my hand.

Michael's face showed signs of distress. "My teacher said no one is allowed to touch me there."

I suspected this might come up and so I removed my hand and started rinsing all the soap off him while I spoke. "Your teacher is right, my boy. No one must touch you there, because there are some people who don't care if you get hurt and they like to touch boys there to make themselves feel good."

"So why did you touch me there?" He doesn't beat around the bush, this boy of mine. I'm glad he has the sense to question my touch.

"Well, I wanted to make sure you were clean. And sometimes touching your penis like that can make you feel really nice." As I spoke I got him to sit down so I could wash his hair. "Tell me, Mikey," I said, as I massaged the shampoo through his hair, "When I was rubbing your penis, did it feel good or bad?"

With his head tilted back and his eyes closed, I used a jug to start rinsing his hair. "It felt good. I got a nice feeling in my tummy."

"See, it does feel nice," I said calmly, "But only if someone like me touches you. I love you and would never hurt you." Now the moment of truth. "When we're done here would you like me to make you feel nice some more?"

"Yes please, Daddy," he said politely. That's my boy. Fucking hell I loved him. I'm not certain what I would have done if he said no, but that didn't matter anymore.

"Okay, well then let's get you out of the bath and we can do some stuff in my bedroom. Would you like to sleep by me tonight?"

Michael's eyes widened. He's never been allowed to sleep in my bed. Even when he woke up from bad dreams I would insist he stay in his own bed. If he was too scared I would sit by him until he fell asleep again. But no, never in my bed. "Really? Can I really sleep with you tonight?" I chuckled inwardly. Phrasing, my boy, phrasing.

"Why not? You've been so good…" before I could even finish, he was on his feet giving me a big wet hug.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" he said, bouncing up and down.

Seeing my boy happy filled my heart with joy, seeing his naked form bounce up and down filled it with lust. "Go on then, get out the bath and go to my room, I'll join you just now.

Michael didn't waste any time. He got out of the bath, wrapped himself in the big fluffy towel I handed to him, and trotted off to the bedroom.

The minute he was out of the room my head started spinning. Was I really doing this? I took a moment to splash my face with water and stare at myself in the mirror. No matter which way I looked at it, this felt so very right. As far as I was concerned, at that moment, boys were always meant to have sex with their fathers.

When I got to the bedroom, Michael was just finishing his final patting down with the towel. When he saw me, he grinned and jumped up on the bed. I walked closer as he jumped up and down. Right, it was time to take control. I pulled him towards me in a stiff hug. My hands once again working their magic over his back, getting him to relax.

With his head on my shoulder I whispered into his ear, "Daddy is going to make you feel good now, boy. You can tell me to stop whenever you want, okay?"

I felt him nod, so I gave him one last squeeze before telling him to lie down. He lay on his back, his face filled with excitement. I took my own top off and joined him on the bed. Sliding up next to him, putting my hand on his stomach. I leaned forward and once again place my lips on top of his. Boy kisses are the stuff of gods. This time, however, I started kissing him a little more deeply. I gently let my tongue glide over his lips until he caught the hint. As my tongue entered his mouth my hand took hold of his tiny package and started rubbing it in my palm.

I wondered what was going through his mind, but as his dick started to stiffen in my hand I reckoned they were probably good thoughts. His own little tongue started doing its thing. He was clearly uncertain as to what to do, and so I slowly pulled my tongue back, hoping his would follow. Good boy, I thought, as he did just that. My passion was rising. I was enjoying the taste of my son in my mouth. Just knowing that this door was open filled me with excitement. I finally broke from our tongue battle and started kissing my way down to my goal. I started in his neck, that ever-present boy smell still driving me wild.

I then moved to his chest, leaving kisses everywhere and giving his nipples each a little lick. I heard an almost inaudible moan escape my little boy's lips. I had him, and there was no turning back. His stomach has always been a special place for me. It was my favourite place to put my hands during the times when anything else was forbidden. I put my tongue into his belly button and slowly licked all the way down to his pubic area, savouring the taste and feel of his baby skin on my tongue. My eyes were now looking directly at his dick. Half of me wanted to devour it right there and the other half wanted to delay just a little longer. I will never get this moment back and I wanted it etched into my mind for eternity. With one last fleeting thought about how wrong this might be, I open my mouth and engulfed the miniscule member.

All the stories, all the fantasies, all the porn in the world could never prepare you for the real thing. That tiny sliver of flesh danced around in my mouth and the taste was exquisite. My little monkey gasped loudly "Daddy." he said, but said nothing more. As I sucked his little dick for everything it had, my hands started exploring his body again. I carefully repositioned myself at his feet so that my tongue could look for the bonus prize. At this angle I was able to look up at my angel boy to see him completely stiff, as though his body were having a complete sensory overload.

I continued to work his dick as I spread his leg wider apart. So small was he, that his dick was able to stay in my mouth as my tongue darted downwards. When it found his hole, I suspected he was having his first orgasm because his fingers were flexing and his legs were starting to push his dick deeper into my mouth. At that moment I stopped sucking and his whole body dropped down, relaxing entirely.

I released his sensitive organ and concentrated on his rosebud, kissing it like I did his mouth. His anal sphincter was unsure of what to do with this new intrusion and refused to allow my tongue entry. After a couple of minutes of that special bliss, I heard the shallow breathing of my little boy and when I looked up I saw that he was now fast asleep.

I sat up and took stock of what just happened. I had given my boy the most amazing first sexual experience. His face showed contentment as he slept soundly. The problem was, I was still hard as a rock. I got off the bed and started removing my pants, thinking of the best way to do this. Jerk off next to him? Wake him up and ask for a blow job? I knew I could never fuck him. Not yet anyway. But as he lay there, sleeping with his legs wide open, that little rosebud was calling me. It could wait.

I stepped out of my boxers and climbed on the bed again. I couldn't resist going in for another kiss, my tongue happy to invade his sleeping mouth. For some reason, him being asleep made my hornier. I whispered into the air "I'm going to fuck you one day, Monkey" It seemed so wrong and exciting to say it out loud with him in the room.

I lay next to him, just watching him sleep. My hand started making itself useful as it started stroking my dick. This wasn't going to take long, I could feel it. Once again, I locked lips onto his mouth. I needed release, and soon. My tongue explored his mouth all the way down to his tonsils. If there were a way to explore deeper I would've gladly taken it. I was getting close to release and didn't want to waste my cum. Reluctantly I stopped kissing him. I took his hand and wrapped it around my throbbing member. It's a sight I wasn't prepared for, and threatened to throw me over the edge. I positioned myself so that my dick was right next to his gorgeous flat tummy and I used his hand to jerk myself until I felt the familiar boiling up from my core. Intense this time, more so than ever before.

With a soft moan I came at last, spraying my little boy with my seed. Wave after wave, covering his stomach and crotch. When it ended I flopped down heavily next to him again. Incredibly, he was still asleep. I spent about five minutes basking in the afterglow, just staring at his beautiful face as he slept, absently rubbing my cum all over his stomach, chest and dick. I thought about cleaning him up, but decided that leaving it there would be a nice segue into an explanation of what happened when he woke up. Because next time I fully intend for him to be awake.

I too fell asleep, at least for an hour or so before I woke up a few minutes ago, my angel still snoozing happily, covered in the product of my lust. I thought I had to write about this experience there and then so that the moment will be preserved forever. So here we are.

With the benefit of hindsight, getting raped all those years ago was the best thing that ever happened to me. I still despise Sarah, even more so knowing she could throw this little man away like she did. But through all that I have to thank her. Michael is my life, and I will do all I can to give him the happiest of childhoods. And now, I can also look forward to long and satisfying sexual relationship for both of us. If I love him first and lust after him second, I'm certain he will grow up just fine.

Now, however, I think I must go, Michael is starting to stir, and he's just informed me that he needs to pee. And I think I have an idea about that.

Ciao.

The End