Sam the Ham

Not as it Seems

Whether we like to believe it or not we all have our biases. Culturally some biases are more acceptable than others to have. For example I've always considered myself bisexual. There are some gay people who consider me a coward for not fully coming out while there are some straight people who likewise condemn me for being indecisive. I do truthfully find women attractive as well as men. Growing up it was just easier for me to see men naked then women. As a teenager this was not so bad but in my later teens a certain biased developed. I was popular enough that it didn't affect me too much but I did sense that.

Foolishly I thought I was more aware of stereotypes, less inclined to believe in them. However, in my second year college I found myself falling victim to them. I developed a sexual friendship with a young freshman who happened be black. Before seeing him I thought he would be well endowed but his cock was average. It was pleasurable to ride of course and his ass was likewise pleasant, but it was a lesson learned. The first time I saw him naked I was disappointed and although I didn't say anything, he sensed that. I regret hurting him if only briefly.

My first job out of college took me to South America for six months. My Spanish was passable in Columbia was a pleasant enough country. I was in an industrial city and quite research beforehand indicated to me that being openly interested males was not a good idea. Machismo was important so I concentrated on the local female population. I eventually shut up a friendship with several people on my floor of the apartment I was renting. Particularly with one family who had the teenage son. He was in his mid-teens and quite attractive. The two of us became friends which his parents were happy with. I practice my Spanish and he practiced his English.

Then one night I slipped that I was bisexual. I say slipped out but our friendship had come to a point where I was comfortable disclosing it if unconsciously. The boy immediately became nervous and left shortly after. I was sure that our friendship was over, The next day he showed up at my door and disclosed to me that he was gay. He wanted to learn how to be with a man and I was eager to inform him. He know what he wanted. Again I found myself subconsciously falling into a stereotype. Given the macho nature of the country I thought it was my butt he would want. As it turned out it was his. The boy was a complete bottom. He enjoyed being on the receiving end of flirting and would get hard from just sucking. He made my stay quite pleasurable.

Back in the states I was assigned to Utah. My boss there took a liking to me. He was Mormon with nine kids two of who were adopted. I attended dinner at their house a lot. He had a 12-year-old son who took a liking to me. We both love hockey and I became an assistant coach for his team. It was a fairly demanding job in between working and being the assistant coach I had little time for anything else. This is not a complaint. I enjoyed both activities.

On one overnight trip I found his son and a teammate in a compromising position. Now I do fancy myself somewhat of an expert on sucking cock and I could tell this was not his first time. I can still remember vividly the boy on his knees and his friends pants down around his ankle. Cock firmly in his mouth, his right hand fondling the boy's balls, his left casually wrapped around his thigh. The other boy was clearly enjoying it. His eyes were close, head tilted back, hand firmly on the others head. Now I had always liked boys. Growing up I had my fair crushes on them. I think I was maybe eight when I had my first crush on a boy quickly followed by one on a girl. Big difference was with girls I always looked at once around my age. With boys I never stop looking at the younger ones.

This was why I stayed riveted there. I could have perhaps should have walked away. I could have alternatively quietly interrupted if for no other reason than to make sure neither of the boys was being coerced. Unfortunately, I stood there until they noticed me. Of course I agreed to secure swearing up and down that I wouldn't inform their parents. I left saying that if you have any questions I would be open to answer them with the reassurance that I have done similar things.

About a week later my boss' son cornered me and asked me questions about my own experiences at that age. I happily informed him. Those are quite happy memories for me and if he had some reluctance about his feelings I was hoping to put them to rest. Then to my surprise the conversation took a turn. It started off with him asking what I thought about his looks. When I said I thought he was cute they seem to take this as flirting. That was a surprise to me. I knew, I remember that age. I had liked boys but no particular interest to men. He had one. I would've thought he was to young and that was a foolish assumption on my part.

I did resist for a while, a few practices went by, a few dinners. He got what he wanted in the end though. I dropped my pants for him and gracefully return the favor. Perhaps it was my earlier experience in South America that made the age seen not so significant. Maybe I was just caving into social pressure not to accept his advances. I felt guilty at first but not guilty enough to try to stop it. Usually I drove him home from practice and for that first week practice always seem to go long.

He was so eager and enthusiastic. After our routine was firm, once he knew I wasn't going to go back and pretend it didn't happen his younger brother started to attend practice just to observe and help out. I was a little upset at first and then flabbergasted to find out that his 10-year-old brother wanted in on the action. Such a large family it's inevitable that some siblings are closer to one than the other. These two were very close being the youngest.

Still, I was resistant at first. For a 12-year-old boy he was particularly developed already shooting and thick pubic hair. The 10-year-old was completely hairless and in my mind innocent. That belief was quickly shift away when I was informed they had been messing around for about a year since he was nine. He wasn't quite as eager as his brother. He wasn't reluctant either. We messed around the first day.

For being brothers led to some remarkable similarities. They both liked the idea of rough stuff but in reality not so much. They were both very giving but enjoyed receiving too. There was also something else. Maybe it was a consequence of having such a large family or maybe they just trust me and the way they could trust their parents. They both enjoyed my company. I took them camping and on little trips. Their father told me on multiple occasions how much his two sons adored me and in all honesty the feeling was mutual. It wasn't love in the romantic sense. It was love.

Over the course of two years we did so much together sexually. Both were virgins when it came to the rear. I took the 12-year-old fairly early on and try to resist his brother for a while. That didn't last very long though. I had my first threesome with them. Such was a confusing thing of arms and legs and bodies and swept. In general the idea of group sex doesn't appeal to me but when you know everyone involved, you understand what they want they understand what you and you all just want to give to the other can be glorious.

Reluctantly work took me away from them. However, through technology we were able to keep in contact. With the sexual part of our relationship mostly removed I found my feelings no less strong. I still want them to be happy and they still came to me and just talk or for advice. There were points in my life where I would contact them meeting that indefinable feeling. There are just times when you just want to talk to someone who cares about you. The younger one is bisexual married happily. The other one is gay and in legitimate threesome. His two partners work and he is a stay-at-home dad. I don't think he could be any happier.

My work took me to New York, but only briefly before I was bounced down south. I could have afforded a house at this point but chose to rent an apartment complex of maybe 100 or so. The apartment had a pool. I always love swimming and after a hard day there is nothing more enjoyable than water. It was on one of those lucky times where the pool was inserted simply floating around that he showed up. The boy was 14 though he looked older with skin as dark as night. He asked politely if I minded swimming which I respond to it was the apartment pool's not mine.

At that time I was dating a woman but it wasn't serious. I'm subconsciously watched the teenager swim, he was muscular and not very hairy, but developed. We struck up a conversation. It was pleasant and we both left back to our apartments at the same time. Over the next few days and weeks we kept running into each other. At first I think he was conscious but then it was obvious we were both seeking out the other's company. It was casual much like my relationship with the woman. Much like that relationship we fell into bed casually. It was enjoyable and was both on the receiving end and the giving end. It lasted maybe three months before he got a real boyfriend. He confides later that I had given him the confidence he needed to do that and I was happy for that.

My next transferred took me to Spain. It was a big move for me and I threw myself into the work for about a year before looking up and realizing I had little in a social life. I made time to date a little, but nothing much came of it. It was when I was in a park that the only noteworthy thing happened. I struck up a conversation in his early teens. Interesting and seemed pleasant enough and the subject quickly turn to sex. He suggested going back to my place and I was floored. At least it was until he asked how much I was willing to pay. Prosecuting, out of necessity or a conscious choice is one thing but there something I find extremely upset when the boy doesn't just make a little extra pocket money so they can buy a game system. I think the saddest thing itself is not so much the act, but the necessary understanding his parents probably wouldn't question where the money came from. I walked away from that quite shaken.

It was a few months later that I found someone. It came about by accident. The place my company returned from the was in a upper scale neighborhood so when the house across the street went up for sale it was kind of unusual. The family that moved in seemed nice. They had one son in college, a teenage girl and a 10-year-old boy. He and I hit it off quite well. I doubted his parents would have asked me to babysit him if the hadn't asked for me.

As I said I took quite a liking to the 10-year-old. He was cute, funny and friendly. He was also obviously gay. Perhaps it might seem strange that after seeing so much about stereotypes that here and I would get into one after being proven so many times that what we believe is not what is. This was a bit unfair to him about.. He was neither trying to fit into the stereotype or felt he needed to. To him it was natural. He was just being himself. How on earth his parents didn't pick up on the fact is well beyond me.

The first time he asked if I thought he was cute I responded honestly and then encouraged him. He became a frequent guest at my house with even more frequent hugs and kisses. Now here is where you diverge from stereotype that someone put him then because of his actions so far. We did not go to bed for some time. Even after he confided in me his designed to dress in girls' clothing we did not. I remember times him dancing around naked about to get dressed all excited and he would always smile at me for a second before putting on the new panties I had purchased for him. He would dance jumping in twirling in them and then stopped and snack his butt and asking if I thought it was cute.

It wasn't that he didn't want to, he was just scared and unsure. I learned much of this later. He was concerned that I was just using him. That the things I bought for him weren't for him but just to get into his panties. He was also scared of sex itself. It just took time for those feelings to resolve themselves. Once he realized that I simply liked him, that I did think he was cute and that I didn't want to hurt. We talked about this in different parts. We had multiple conversations that was really just one conversation separated by days. Finally he asked me to take his cherry.

I didn't do it there and that of course. The situation is different than all the others before it because their feelings were different. One night when his parents would be away and his sister was glad not to babysit it happened. He came over and dressed up in a full outfit. He didn't let me watch him change for once. When he emerged from the guest room it took my breath away. He looked a lot like a girl and as previously stated I like women not girls. This wasn't a girl. It was a little boy who wanted to be pretty. Beneath the makeup and clothes was a boy.

I took him out to a nice restaurant and then we went on a long walk. I had taken him out far enough that no one was likely to recognize him. If anyone saw us it was that of a father and daughter or at least an uncle and a niece. When we went back to my place, to my room it was quiet. I remember kissing him. I can remember how he melted into my arms. I undressed him. When we were naked, we made love. It was beautiful.

I say we made love because we were in love. It wasn't just friendship with sex, it was special. I would've loved to stay there and waited for him to grow older. At that time it seemed like a perfectly pleasurable way to live. Then his parents moved. A business deal severely cut their finances there company went bankrupt. It was just a little after his 11th birthday that he moved away. He cried and so did I. We stayed in contact as best as we could. I transferred back to the states but we make time for each other. When he was 12 he told me he was getting a crush on a classmate and even though it hurt I encouraged him. The boy seemed to be returning his feelings.

It takes a while to get over that relationship. I have a few flings over the next two years. Both male and female none of them were underage or very serious. It was on a trip to Australia that I got my groove back. A 13-year-old aborigine boy and I spent the better part of a month sharing each other's company. It turns out I wasn't his first older friend and in our own way we were both trying to get over a relationship.

I came back surprisingly exhilarated and felt happy to learn I would be heading a project in Michigan. It was only supposed to be for six months just to get the operation up and running so I rented a small apartment. I joined a gym and by accident one day I walked in on two boys in the locker room do something. To be fair I wasn't exactly sure what it was. The way the two of them jumped apart it was obviously something they didn't want anyone to know about. Others would have walked away but I asked what they were up to. One of the boys turned and told me they were doing nothing, is cheeks were red but he said nothing more. I took a shot in the dark and said that was a very hard nothing.

Both of the boys looked rather barrister and asked me not to tell and I told him of course I wouldn't but they should find better spot to have fun. That was how the conversation started. I was quite open with them and we hit the pool together. The lifeguard I'm sure thought I was there with them the way we hung in her little sector. As we were preparing to leave the day I offered them use of my apartment. They said they would think about it. We arranged a time to meet up the next day and they were there to take me up on my offer.

The first few times they were there I let them use my bedroom while I busy myself elsewhere. They eventually let me watch and even order them about. They had exhibition streak in them. They both enjoy showing off and enjoy the few things I bought for them. They never actually let me do anything with them other than masturbate in front of them. I think they got a secret thrill from that power. One of them would depend over the bed and the other would be give them a bare bottom spanking or just spread his cheeks. Sometimes one would masturbate while the other held his legs up. Sometimes they would just kiss and suck.

Truthfully their relationship was that of romance novels. They knew each other almost from birth, best friends and then the mutual realization that there was something more than friendship. Even then they were in a deep emotional relationship I think many adults never experience. They were both prepubescent 11 and 12 and deeply in love. They're still together. Being with them was very pleasurable but on the project ended it wasn't hard to leave them. I consider them friends and wish them well.

It was around this time I started to chafe at working for someone else. I had reached a level in the company that would be hard to surpass. A successful employee, but not in a position to take on projects of their own choosing or creation, it was frustrating. Sharing my frustrations with a friend one night he told me he felt the same way and that was the beginning of our decision to start our company. Not wanting to war you with reciting details here especially since I have gone into greater detail in my other books. The notable features here are simply me move to a small town and scalp a few people from my former employer.

Starting a new businesses of course hard. Especially at first I had little time for anything. In the spring the development I was living in had a community garage sale and I walked around. It was the first time I met most of my neighbors and others. Not too far from my home I found a lemonade stand. It was a little girl running it and teenage boy who was apparently watching over her. I struck up a conversation with him again after so long and so much experience perhaps I was able to charge he would be interested. I casually mentioned that needed some help cleaning out my garage and for a small fee he agreed to help.

The day he showed he had a friend in tow. At first I thought I misread the situation when his friend asked if he could work too. Between three of us that task was done fairly quickly and I thought they would be leaving shortly after. After paying them I offer them a drink of lemonade. We stood garage talking about school. They were both doing okay and when I casually asked if either had a girlfriend they both shook their heads. They then disclosed to me that they were both gay. Now to some two boys who were best friends and gay should have been a couple. The fact was they were both on the passive side. While they were messing around with each other they knew they couldn't be anything but friends.

I took them both into my bed that day. My relationship with them was extraordinarily pleasurable. The two love to put on a show whether it was simply bumping and grinding or even skits with dialogue. Many times we would form a train with myself in one and then that one in the other. One of them enjoyed being tied up while the other wasn't so big on it. They both enjoyed camping trips I and invited me along. It was a bold move by them because their neither of parents knew about me. Once when a trip was planned, it rained. It was just enough to make everyone miserable and three-day trip lasted only a few hours. I suggested they could come back to my place.

Those days were some of the more memorable of my life. It wasn't sex we enjoy each other's company and have similar taste in movies and other things. Still, there is something about going to sleep with someone and waking up to then in the morning. Like all others I wish I could spend more time with them. I wish we didn't have to have sneak around so much. Still I enjoyed watching them grow from young teenagers to getting their drivers license and wanting then graduate high school. That was one of the few school activities of theirs I was able to go to. Seeing them off to college was hard and satisfying.

It was shortly after that I met the woman who would become my wife. We married and we have three wonderful kids and no I never did anything that would be identified as inappropriate. The business flourished and went public. I have recently left it. I have decided to enter politics.

All these event I detailed have taught me one thing above all else. Things are not always what they seem. Most people are extraordinarily complex and we don't them down and categories for our convenience. Much strife comes from this. I have been guilty of these shortcuts myself. I believe I have learned otherwise. I have seen the mold broken so many times I realize there isn't one. Despite all the other reasons I state publicly this is my real reason. I believe most people do this despite what they claim.

I have loved a 10-year-old, had friendships that has endured for years. Most people would condemn me. In fact my condemnation would be almost universal. The fact is I don't believe I ever hurt anyone. I'm putting that theory to the test now. If anyone in my past wishes for revenge or simply to settle a score they will have the perfect opportunity because one spoken word will ruin what I'm about to do. This will not be published until after my death but I will know the answer before that. I will probably know before the weekend because tomorrow I announce I am running for president.

The End