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   Subject: STORY: S.  HOLMES #1 [m/f][mast][spoof] (fwd)

   Date: Wed, 16 Aug 1995 07:57:10 UTC

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   The Case of the Tingling Clitoris

   John Watson, M.D.

   I have brought to the readers' attention over the years the many
adventures and particular demonstrations of Sherlock Holmes' remarkable,
even to say, unique skills.  In doing so, I must confess that I have had
strong motivation to suppress, even deny, some of Holmes' abilities in the
detection and solution of crimes and puzzles involving social activities
between the sexes.

   If the reader is shocked at this revelation, coming now so late in the
Autumn of his career, I beg you to realize that such revelations so many
years ago would have been impossible, given the restrictions of society at
the time.  In addition, many of these situations involved prominent,

   publicly known individuals and as such had to be protected and shielded
from shame and humiliation.  Holmes himself was often the only course of
last resort for many, given that they knew he could be trusted in the
extreme with any knowledge, without fear of exposure.  As his chronicler, I
could only mirror his commitments and remain mum.

   In some situations, already published in long years past, certain
elements of the actual solution were removed from the narrative as
unnecessary to present a whole picture to the reading audience, allowing me
to demonstrate Holme's basic techniques without exposing any potential
undue information that could embarrass.

   At long last, with Holme's reputation firm and untouchable, allowing for
the progress that society has made in understanding and being tolerant of
discussion of such intimate matters in public, some of the more interesting
cases may be brought to the public's attention.  I warn the reader here
that, as a medical man, I offer no apologies for the frank descriptions
that must accompany and be a basic part of such a narrative.  Offense is
neither intended or desired, but it would be impossible to demonstrate the
unique characteristics of Holme's approach or the results obtained should I
concede and try to write around the subject at hand.

   I was first made aware of Holme's pursuit of knowledge in this area in
the Fall of 1988.  I had been at the club all day, and returned after a
long stroll, intending to break my fast with one of Mrs.  Hudson's
remarkable roasted partridge dinners.  In entering our digs, I became
immediately focused on a remarkable sight in front of me.  Laying on the
cleared table was a young women possessed of obvious physical charms,
prostrate and quite exposed.  As a medical man, I had often been required
to examine women in the course of treating medical situations, so nothing
being shown to me was new, but I was quite alarmed at finding my seemingly
celibate friend Holmes hard to the task of arousing the woman to very high
heights of excitement.

   She was gasping and moaning in a demonstration of frantic sexual
arousal, and speaking an almost non-stop babble of encouragement.

   "Heaven, help me, I am going to faint.  Yes, more of it!  I must have it
all!  You finger me delightfully!  Harder, I beg you, Mr.  Holmes!  Harder
still.  I must die!  Ohhhhhhhh....I'm going to die.  Yes!  Yes!  YES! 

   I feared for the legs of the table as, with loud banging from her
bouncing ass on the table top, at that moment the woman experienced a quite
vigorous orgasm, delightful to see, hear and watch.  And apparently just as
delightfully experienced by the woman.  But Holmes was by no means paying
any immediate attention to the arousal and frantic climax of the woman, as
I would have expected.  With one hand hard a work on the woman's apparatus,
he was timing her with a stop watch in the other.

   With a final click, he noted the time in his notebook, his writing hand
still glistening with the woman's copious lubrication from the fornication.
She lay on the table as though exhausted, a small puddle of her love fluids
spreading across the table top, still draining from her as witness to her
recent internal release.  I walked over and stood at his side, not knowing
exactly how to break in on this scene of such diligent research..

   Holmes glanced over at me briefly and then turned back to the woman and
said,.  "I believe my dear Gertrude, that was a new record for orgasm by
manual manipulation only, a minute and twelve seconds.  After you rest a
bit, I think we can better that."

   "Mr.  Holmes, we cannot go again.  As delightful as these tests are, I
must be off to prepare dinner for my Ralph.  If the table is not set when
he gets home, I'll have more to answer for than I can explain.  And
besides, you cannot complain I have not given my all today.  Two hours of
almost non-stop fornication is enough to wear a body out, and dull their

   "Yes, perhaps you are right.  Tomorrow then, same time.  And do leave
the petticoats at home this time.  We waste far too much time removing and
replacing all these layers of garments each day."

   She was sitting up, looking over at me, her face still bearing a crimson
blush from her excitement.  I noticed as her large bosom settled into place
that her nipples were quite extended and protruded against the thin fabric
of her tunic.  "Oh, you must be Dr.  Watson.  Mr.  Holmes told me you might
come by at some point, but not to worry, as you were a doctor and quite
used to seeing the sensitive parts of the anatomy.  Your Mr.  Holmes has
quite a technique for getting a girl to just about do anything he desires,
once he gets a finger or two up my quim.  Ralph could use a lesson or two,
I can tell you that."

   "Tomorrow, then?"

   "Yes, tomorrow, if you please." And she showed herself out of the
apartment after the last voluminous petticoat was again in place and her
attire was smoothed.  Except for a bright sparkle in her eye and a
lightness and certain light air to her step, I could not have discerned
that she had only moments before been fornicating with abandonment.  She
now appeared the perfect picture of the attentive and adoring wife to her

   "Holmes, what on earth.." I began.

   "Calm yourself, Watson.  The young lady was quite a willing subject and
basic research always painstaking.  If a bit unusual in this case, I would
concede to you."

   "I can make no connection to any need to do anything except possible
provide some gratification to some untold inner need of yours." I replied.

   "On the contrary, Watson.  A client's very life depends on the knowledge
I'm gaining.  In this case, Lady Estrella, the accused murderer of her
husband.  The entire case hinges on the fact that she claimed that her
husband had entered her room, brought her off in quite the manner you just
witnessed, and then moments later returned to his own room, to be found
murdered there only minutes later by the upstairs maid on her way to
retire. The question of how quickly a woman, a willing and aroused woman,
can be brought to orgasm is paramount interest, wouldn't you say?  And
today, I demonstrated in over twenty instances with the charming Miss Young
that it is remarkable quickly, under two minutes in most cases, if the
right techniques are used."

   "Preposterous, Holmes.  I find it impossible to believe that this young
lady has fornicated to orgasm in such numbers in only a few hours.  It
would exhaust the person to the point of collapse." I found his explanation
quite ridiculous and I'm sure my face revealed my doubt.

   "You would find yourself quite in a pickle, I dare say, Watson, if I
were to loose this girl on you tomorrow, given instructions that she was to
have intercourse with you until one of you was too exhausted to continue.

   I dare say she would be the victor in less than twenty minutes.  And
have the energy to take on a bar full of eager men when she had finished
you off in such short order.  No, don't take offense, Watson.  It is the
nature of things that the frail woman is much stronger in the sexual
appetite department than most give credit."

   "How long have these experiments been going on?"

   "For a few days.  I have been using a hotel room in the city, but today,
Miss.  Young found it impossible to get there quickly enough to allow us
time, so I settled on using our abode, knowing full well you might present
yourself.  I quite prepared her for that eventuality, as she noted."

   "And how did you induce the woman to participate?"

   "Well, I must admit, I couldn't exactly take out an ad in the agony
column.  I just went to the market dressed as a stall owner and used
hypnotism on suitable women.  After one or two sessions, I discovered that
most of them would come willingly if the situation was put to them

   directly.  Although," he rubbed his cheek, "a few landed a telling hand
to my face at my bold approach, much to their credit." He smiled.  I could
discern a bruise on his cheek.  More than one woman must have objected, I

   I was shocked at myself to find my member was engorged after the episode
and retired to the toilet to relieve my throbbing cock.  It would not be
the last time I had to do so before this case reached its remarkable and
shocking conclusion.

   That was the end of it, or so I supposed.  Holmes asked me to accompany
him in a medical capacity to the court on the day of the arraignment. 
There after clearing the court of all except the judge, the defendant,
Lestrade, Holmes and myself, Lady Estrella was put on the stand

   By prior arrangement, I was concealed behind a panel in the court room
just to the left of the witness stand.  I sat perfectly still in the chair
provided and observed through a small slit in the screen.

   Before the entrance of Lestrade or the others, Holme's fussed over the
chairs and tables in the room, making several adjustments.  Satisfied, as
to what I could not tell, he took his place in the chair normally occupied
by the defense barrister.

   The magistrate addressed Lady Estrella.  "Madame, as you know, we are
making every effort to protect your reputation in this matter.  Mr.  Holmes
has assured me that at the conclusion of today's hearing, your name will
have been cleared.  These are most serious charges, however, and I must
remind you that if the hearing goes against you, you will be remanded over
for trial, and I will no longer be able to protect you."

   The woman, appearing nervous, said, "Thank you kind sir.  I am hoping
that Mr.  Holmes is indeed correct and I will leave a free woman.  I am
prepared to answer any questions they have of me."

   With that, the magistrate waved Lestrade onto the floor.  I must at this
point take pains to describe Lady Estrella.  A woman of obvious passion,
even on this most trying occasion was impeccably dressed, her bosom proudly
displayed in all its glory, breasts alabaster white

   in the light of the court room.  Her tiny waist accented by the bright
red dress in velvet, flaring to a pair of wonderfully curved hips,
suggesting a woman of obvious pleasures.  Her dark hair was neatly pinned,
with a long rope of braid, shiny and thick, neatly curved around her neck
and down her front, accenting her very long, regal neck.  A woman of
beauty, her cheeks were flushed with pink, a sign of high spirits, and her
ruby lips were parted just so.  And her eyes, dark pools of adventure,
almost laughed in their sparkle.  Lestrade could not have been unmoved in
her presence, but to his credit maintained his professional decorum and
launched into his unenviable task.

   I, on the other hand, found her perfume wafting into the space behind
the panel and was becoming giddy with arousal at the sight and smell of
this exciting woman.  I suddenly hoped with all my might thatHolmes was
right and she was not a killer.  Certainly, I knew from my own witness of
his experiments that her story could, to a certain extent be corroborated.
As to the rest of the mystery, I could make neither head nor tale.

   Lestrade opened up the questioning of the witness, taking her through
her story several times before concluding with a statement to the
magistrate repeating the facts.  Lady Estrella's story was a fabrication.
Only she had access to the Colonel's bedroom and must have killed him just
before the upstairs maid discovered the body.  The fact that a murder
weapon had not been discovered was a mystery, but he had every confidence
that by the time of the trial, that problem would have been resolved.  He
retook his chair with a look at Holmes that clearly indicated he expected
to win his case.

   The lady's answers had been forthright and showed no tendency of
elaboration or constituting a fiction.  I believed they were as she
understood them to be.  As Holmes finally rose from his position, the
courtroom was whisper quiet.  What more could he bring out that would shed
some light on this mystery?

   He walked slowly up to the side of the witness chair, and in an assuming
manner, placed his hand on her wrist.  I was surprised at this familiar
action on his part, but then realized that the magistrate's raised desk
blocked both his and Lestrade's view of all but the upper neck and face of
the witness.  In a flash I understood he had moved the chairs and tables
ever so slightly to enable him this contact without detection.  Of what use
he would make of it, I had no clue.

   "Lady Estrella, you still maintain your innocence in this matter?"

   "I do Mr.  Holmes." Her answer was unwavering.

   His fingers were lightly fluttering over her wrist.  His tone was that
soothing tone of control and calm I had observed in the past have an
amazing effect on women in his presence, establishing an atmosphere of
quiet and safety, enabling them to bring their raging emotions under
control and place their complete confidence and trust in him.

   Lady Estrella glanced down at his fingers only briefly, but made no
attempt to move her arm or remove his hand.  Her gaze returned to meet

   "Now, I trust the court will indulge me in having you tell your account
one more time, slowly, leaving out no detail, no matter how unimportant it
might seem to you, or where my questions may lead you."

   "The court has no objections to this, Mr.  Holmes, in the interest of
getting to the truth of this matter." The magistrate indicated Mr.  Holmes
could go ahead.

   From where I sat, I could see the briefest look of concern cross Lady
Estrella's face, then pass.  She was smiling and gazing into Holme's eyes.

   "From the very beginning, then."

   "We had eaten a bit earlier than usual, and my husband departed for an
evening at his club with his many friends.  After the staff had cleared the
table, I spent the evening downstairs reading in the library, then went to
my bedroom at about nine thirty.  I changed into my night gown."

   "Please describe it."

   "As you wish.  It is a Chinese silk peignoir that just covers my bosom
and has two thin straps over the shoulder.  It ends about mid-thigh.  My
husband is particularly fond of it.  Over this, I put on a matching silk
robe that flows to the floor and ties above the waist just under my

   "Thank you.  Proceed."

   "I waited in an easy chair in the room for William to arrive.  I knew he
would want to visit my room before retiring, as we had always had
intercourse daily at that time.  He finally arrived."

   "At what time?" Holmes interrupted.

   "About ten fifteen, I believe.  Certainly not before that, as I read
almost thirty pages while waiting.  He arrived and went first to his room
to freshen up.  Shortly thereafter, I heard his footsteps in the hall and
he entered my room and closed the door."

   I noticed that Holme's hand had left her wrist and was now on her lap,
at mid-thigh.  Almost imperceptible, her dress had begun to rise in the
front as he inched the material up.  I could see no sign that she was aware
of this, but she was doing nothing to prevent it.

   "He approached my bed.  I rose from my chair and went to him.  As we
stood, he slowly released the tie on my robe and slid it off each shoulder,
rubbing the silk along my arms and back.  Then, he rubbed my breasts for a
short time through the fabric until my prominent nipples were engorged and
hard against his palm.  I get quite excited by this and that evening I
responded as always.  My lower regions became tight and full as my passion
rose and my breathing was tight and I may have been making noise."

   Holmes had now raised the dress to clear her knees and I saw his arm
move slightly and his hand disappear between her legs.  Only a moment
later, Estrella's eyes widened and her lips parted in surprise, telling me
Holme's fingers had arrived at their objective.  I could imagine the
stoking he was imparting to her tender lips and my own cock hardened at the

   "He raised my covering and lifted it off over my head."

   Her voice had risen in tone slightly and I could detect a quickening in
the rhythm of her speech.  I wondered how long Holmes would wait to insert
one of his long finger's into her sopping cunt.  Only a moment later, he
did so, given away from her gasp.

   "And then.  Pray continue.  You say you are quite aroused by this time?"

   "Oh, Mr.  Holmes, you have no idea how aroused I become.  I am quite
passionate and enjoy the affairs of the bedroom quite fully."


   She was beginning to struggle to hold her thoughts together.  I knew
Holmes was frigging her quite well by this time, having observed his
technique before.

   "William ran his tender hand repeatedly up and down the inside of my
thighs as my legs separated, and finally he inserted a finger firmly into
my woman head and began to finger my already liquid pussy." Her voice was
husky, her eyes half shut, and I could begin to see her back bend as Holmes
began to bring her off.

   "Your liquid pussy, Lady Estrella?"

   "Yes.  I get quite......wet......and......engorged......," she was
panting now, " when he puts first one......then Two!.......then THREE!..."
her voice was groaning out her need and arousal in time to Holme's matching
actions, "fingers in my quim." The last in a rush.

   "Does he fuck you well this way?" Holmes was calm and quite emotionless.
Lady Estrella's countenance was now overwhelmingly lustful in appearance.
Her back was bent, and her body shaking with the waves of passions roaring
through it.  I knew Holmes could take her quite to the edge of orgasm and
then deny her that release.  He now demonstrated it.

   "Yes!....Oh, Yes.....He..brings me off rapidly that way.  Quite
rapidly!" She had her eyes closed and her mouth was slack.  Her low groans
spilled out across the courtroom.  The magistrate and Lestrade were openly
surprised at the demonstration of raw sexual emotion pouring from the
beautiful lady.  They both leaned forward to more closely observe her.  My
hand was quite busy rubbing my erect cock down the inside of my trousers.
Holmes went on.

   "In this case, you have told the court in only a minute or so?"

   "Yes.....Yes!......YES!.....a.....minute.  I'm on fire.  I must die!"

   "And your lover brought you to the brink this night.  Built a fire in
your hungry pussy with fingers and thrusting?"

   "Yes.  Oh, the fingers were delightful as always.  And her mouth was so
hungry for my clitoris!  I ache for release, do not deny me so!"

   "Your lover's mouth joined the plunging fingers and brought you off?"

   "Yes!  My darling Louisa's tongue found my clitoris and brought me off
so sweetly!  Oh....OH!," Holmes was working her to the end, as she had
stunned the court with the revelation that her lover was a woman.  In her
passion, I was quite sure she was unaware of her words.

   "Please!....I must go!....Take me Lousia!....Yes!....Oh,
Yes!....More....Faster!  FASTER!.....Ohhhhhhh......" She orgasmed
violently, her neck back, her groan a last gasp of air driven from her
pulsing belly.  Even now, the hot punk of her escaping fluids filled my

   hideaway and my stroking reached a climax as well.  In seconds the hot
seed from my own swollen cock poured down my leg and shocked me back to the
drama unfolding in the court.

   "Lady, Estrella.  Lady Estrella!  Are you quite all right?", the
magistrate inquired, puzzled as he must have been by her passionate

   It was some moments before her head cleared and her eyes opened.

   "I.  I am quite finished, your honor.  I need a moment." And she began
to weep.  At first I thought it was from shame, but I realized it was from
her release.

   Holmes, who had already dropped her skirt to its former position,
removed a hanky from his pocket for her to dry her eyes.  As her sobs
subsided, he continued.

   "And after Louisa brought you to orgasm, what happened?"

   "Louisa heard my god, I am ruined.  Oh, I am quite ruined."
And she began to sob again.  The echo of Louisa's name back to her had
revealed the truth of her situation at last.

   "She heard him coming.  It was too late, he opened the door and found
her between my legs, face covered with my love juices.  He flew into a
jealous rage and rushed her.  I'm not sure what happened.  She kicked out
at him violently as he rushed forward and her kick caught him in the chest.
It was a fatal blow to the heart and he dropped to his knees and then
collapsed.  Before we could aid him, he was dead.  We carried him to his
bed and Louisa dressed quickly and fled.  Oh, Louisa, I beg your
forgiveness!" The last plaintive appeal was to the exposed lesbian lover.

   Holmes stepped back.  "You honor, I believe we have established the true
events of the evening and request that Lady Estrella be released to my care
and responsibility until Lestrade can confirm her story.  It was clearly
self defense on the part of the other party."

   The magistrate was so surprised at the end of the tale, he took a few
moments to agree to Holme's request, Lestrade nodding his support and

   Lady Estrella left the room with Holmes and I followed a short while
later and joined them on the steps of the court, careful to cover the stain
in my pants with a buttoned overcoat.

   Back in our rooms, we settled the lady into an over stuffed chair and
provided her a stiff brandy.  Soon, she had some energy back.

   "You have exposed me to save me, Mr.  Holmes.  I do not think I am
better off than if I had gone to the gallows."

   "Nonsense.  None heard the tale but those present, who are sworn not to
tell.  I never betray a confidence, and Watson is solid, I can assure you.
Lestrade will interview Louisa privately and confirm your story.  If the
facts match, the death will be ruled self defense and that will be the end
of it.  Your secret lesbian tendencies will be safe."

   "What you must think of me."

   "What I think does not matter.  It is apparently Louisa that needs your
love and care.  I suggest you fly to her the moment Lestrade gives us the
all clear."

   "You are right of course.  I should have confided in you from the first.
I must admit, your approach in the courtroom was unexpected, and shall I
say, very arousing.  I did not know whether I was coming or going!"

   "If my methods were in the slightest offensive to you, you have my
apologies, but after all, it was your life at stake.  I could think of no
other way to get you to reveal the truth."

   "I am not offended.  In fact," she rose to her feet and approached him,
"I believe you owe me a repeat demonstration of your remarkable skills.  I
must learn to use them on my darling Louisa." She was already hiking up her

   "Of course, my fair lady.  Watson, if you don't mind?"

   "Not at all.  I will retire.  Lady Estrella." I bowed my way out to the
back room, but her groans already filled the air as Holmes sank his bony
fingers into her brimming pussy and she responded with unrestrained vocal
glee.  I waited behind the door and my member leaped in my pants.

   By the time Lestrade came by late that evening, both Holmes, the Lady
Estrella, and I were quite exhausted.  Quite apart from being compromised,
the fair Lady Estrella was being returned to her lover with some unique new

   Later that evening, over a last bowl, I inquired, "Holmes, how did you
ever know?"

   "She was dressed for a woman, not a man.  The technique quite revealed a
woman's touch, not the rough approach of the average male in satisfying his
lust.  The only challenge was how, on such short notice, to get her to
reveal her lover's name, who she was obviously protecting.  I quite
expected to sacrifice the lover to save the Lady, but fortunately, we had a
happy ending there as well."

   "And my presence in the courtroom?  I'm not clear on that at all."

   "She was a beautiful woman.  You are a lonely man.  It was as good an
opportunity as any to let you observe such a lover's nest without
compromising your professional status.  Be sure to have those pants
professionally cleaned.  Here, I have written a small monograph on the

   recognition and cleaning of hundreds of fabrics from the stains left by
fornication.  You will find the needed information there."