From asdtigger@alices.com Wed Apr 09 21:09:11 1997
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Subject: ASSTG/ASS [NEW] A Change of Direction Part 1/23 (Magic, TG)
Date: Wed, 9 Apr 1997 21:09:11 -0400
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A Change of Direction: An Alternative Ending to Mike
Allegretto's Change of Pace
Based upon and derived from the situations and characters
developed by Mike Allegretto and Caitlin B. in their
collaborative story, "A Change of Pace", posted 2/16/97
on ASSTG.
Written and published with the express permission of the
original authors. No archiving or redistribution of
this work is permitted without this copyright attribution
included, intact and complete, in the posting/archiving.
Archiving/publication of this author's work on any system that
requires payment in any form is prohibited by the author and
is in violation of my copyright to Chapters 7 and beyond.
This is a work of erotic fiction intended for the
entertainment of adults where such things are permitted by
law.
First three characters of address are random to deflect
email spam. To contact me, email tigger@alices.com
Change of Pace
Fixer@servtech.com (Mike Allegretto)
1997/02/16
Reprise from A Change of Pace
6. Chapter
"That was dirty pool, mother" Jack complained.
She looked up from some picture album she was paging through,
and set her coffee down. She looked her new daughter directly
in the eye. "Well, you've had all morning to explore your own
feminine body rather than some movie star's. Have you learned
anything?"
Jack just shook her head. How could she expect her to talk
about something like that. Gosh mom, I never thought I'd have
the chance to inspect a real hymen - thanks for letting me do
it first hand?
"About what I said." Jack broached the subject nervously.
"About needing more time?" she smiled wickedly.
"You can't really count that as consent." Jack objected.
"The statement 'I need more time', especially in hot and heavy
breathing, would be interpreted by most people as a request."
She countered while flipping to another page of the photo
album.
"You said I could change back when I wanted to." Jack tried
switching to a different tack.
"Only after you are acclimated." she reminded him. "You have
_not_ acclimated."
"That's for sure." Jack commented staring at her nails.
"Whatever possessed me to paint my nails?"
"That would have been the Training Wheels." Laurie explained
"I gave you some of Scully's thought patterns and habits. I
actually alternated between physical changes and slipping in
little mental assists. "
"Like what else?" Jack queried.
"As in last night you knew when your hair was a mess, young
lady." Laurie pointed at Jack's new black hair. "That needs
brushing before you even think of showing your face anywhere."
Jack shuddered at the thought of showing this new face
anywhere. Still it was probably something that was better left
unsaid. "I take it that the 'Training Wheels' are gone?"
"Those were Scully things - you have to learn how to be your
own woman, Jacqueline. That's how we all manage it." Laurie
explained, pausing to look at the photo album again. "Still I
_might_ decide that you were only giving provisional consent.
Should you ever want to be male again I'm not sure I want to
set the precedent that consent can be obtained after you get
the girl on the edge of orgasm."
"You _might_ consider it provisional?" Jack jumped at the
chance. Still she had to be careful. She knew that when her
mother said she _might_ do something it meant that she had
further points for Jack to listen to first.
"Even with an eight hour extension you continued to explore
only the physical aspects directly related to sex." Jacqueline
could recognize that her mother was now in lecture mode. "Do
you really believe that life for a woman is about getting laid
and having orgasms? I expected you to learn far more."
"Mother, you were throwing the changes at me every fifteen
minutes. I couldn't even finish looking at one thing before
two others were already changed!" Jack protested.
"I did notice a lot of nail polish remover was gone." Laurie
conceded. "Maybe I should have provided the training wheels on
How to paint your nails at the same time as the idea that they
needed to be painted."
"Well I can't possibly learn anything about what really being
a woman at a pace like that. If you want me to find out any of
these 'sacred' truths I'll need more time."
Oh shit, Jack things to herself. Her mother's grin left no
doubts. She savored her victory while gazing longingly at the
photo album again.
"So how long before I'm acclimated enough to be turned back."
Jacqueline asked, resigning herself to the fact that it was
now her name for at least awhile.
"Oh, I don't know. At least a year." her mother replied
sipping on her coffee.
"A Year! But what about school?"
"Don't worry, records are easy to take care of." she reassured
new daughter.
Jacqueline sighed realizing she had no choice. "Well, I
suppose I could stand a year."
Laurie finished her coffee without comment. Jacqueline
suddenly realized she didn't recognize the photo album her
mother had been looking through all morning.
"Do you want to take a look?" Laurie offered, spinning it
"I've kept it safe all these years."
Jacqueline took the album and started looking. They were old
family photos. He could recognize his grandmother from when
she was about Mom's age. But who was the teenage boy? He
didn't remember any uncles.
Oh shit, suddenly he knew who the pictures were of.
"Grandmother gave you an initiation too?" she asked.
Laurie nodded. "But if anyone asks, that's your Uncle Larry.
They don't have to know that he doesn't exist anymore."
"How long were you stuck as Larry?" Jacqueline asked.
"Those were taken when I was almost eighteen, about three
years before you were born." Laurie explained. "The
'initiation' was a graduation present from my mother. It took
me three years for me to learn enough Magic to do a
Transformation Spell. Oh, did I forget to mention that you
will have to apply the reverse Transformation Spell yourself?"
Jacqueline gulped. If it had taken her mom three years she
knew it would take her at least four. She was going to be
female through college. She did not like this one bit at all.
"Wait a second," Jacqueline started running over the numbers
aloud "If it took you three years to learn how to Transform
yourself back, how could you have had me when you were twenty
one?"
"Jacqueline, I certainly hope you know how babies are made,
especially since it effects you far more directly now."
"No," she replied "How could you be turned into a guy when you
were eighteen, take three years to learn how to turn yourself
back, then meet dad, get married, get pregnant and give birth
to me nine months later?"
"The truth is out there. "Laurie answered "There should be
enough Scully left in you to come up with a _rational_
explanation."
Oh god, Jacqueline just sat there numbly. "It took you three
years to learn _how_ to use the Transformation Spell, but you
never did _use_ it, did you?"
"Not until last night, darling daughter of mine." Laurie
explained "I'm sure you can figure it out just as quickly. You
know what they say - Like Mother, Like Daughter. And we both
had a lot of catching up to do."
End Reprise
A Change of Direction
by Tigger
1997 All Rights Reserved.
Chapter 7
"I'm not going to be pulled in just because you were!"
Jacqueline stared icily. "I want to learn what I have to know
as quickly as possible. I don't want to be female a month
longer that I have to!"
"That's your choice."Laurie conceded "But you won't like some
of the lessons required, especially if you really want to take
them immediately."
"Just as long as it can really be over and done with in a
year." Jacqueline seethed. "You had better not have been lying
about that."
"Now Jacqueline, I never lied to Jack, and I won't lie to you.
It can most assuredly be done in a single year." Laurie
assured her daughter.
Of course, Laurie added to herself. You'll have to acclimate
very quickly, since the most intricate portion of the
Transformation Spell can only be learned while in the delivery
room, and the final nuances while nursing your newborn.
"I don't believe you." was Jack's cold reply. Laurie's eyes
slued to her Transformed son. "That book proves you lied to
me. By omission, certainly and by making promises you did not
intend to keep. You never intended to return me to normal."
Anger sparked in Laurie's eyes. "I beg to differ, young lady.
If you had asked to end the Transformation it would have
ended. Now it is beyond my power to reverse it."
The bleak lack of any emotion in her child's response chilled
Laurie's soul. "Perhaps, but you have a world of history on
your side," Jack lifted the album to her, "to prove that,
without beforehand knowledge, the Transformed person is not
going to make that decision because the full ramifications
have been left. . ." the finely made fingers whirled in the
air as if to pull the correct words out of the ether,
"intentionally unclear?"
Laurie pursed her lips and refused to answer. "How long,
Mother? How long has this. . . this abomination been
inflicted on the men of our family? And how could you do it
to me? And why should I believe you when you say that it is
beyond your power?"
"ABOMINATION?" Laurie's temper was back in full measure. "How
dare you call it that? It is a gift! A wonderful gift and
you will damn well learn and accept that basic truth if you
want any hope of returning to your pitiful male existence. I
*love* you and I will not have *you* say or think otherwise.
I loved Jack enough to give him these gifts of magic and
womanhood because I have had both and wanted to share them
with the son I love."
"Forgive me, Mother, if I don't share your enthusiasm for
these . . . gifts." The disgusted look on Jack's face left no
doubt of what he had wanted to say about those gifts. "And
you did not answer my question, Mother, so I will answer it.
Too long. This unwilling Transformation stunt has been going
on for so long that you fail to see the wrong you have done to
me, your son. Well, it ends here and now. I will be the last
of our family."
"What??" Laurie's head snapped up. "What did you say?"
"I won't perpetuate this horror myself nor will I permit it to
be perpetuated on any child of mine. I will not even bring a
child into a world where you consider it *your* unequivocal
right to take away that child's life and dreams because *you*
think you know better."
Laurie went very still, the full import of what her child had
just said shocked her into speechlessness. This was not going
at all well and certainly not as it had gone with her own
mother nor as Mum had told her it had gone with all the
previous generations of her family. Had she done something
wrong in casting her spell? Had she missed some key element
of the enchantment that would have made Jacqueline more able
to accept and enjoy her new situation? Choosing her words
very carefully, she tried a more conciliatory tact. "You
would deny me a grandchild to love?"
It did not work. "It ends with me, Mother."
"But you have already tasted the power of your femininity, and
of your new sexuality. Before you can learn enough magic to
change yourself back you may well end up pregnant."
"Even assuming I choose to be actively female, which is a
stretch, there are ways of preventing conception. This is the
Twentieth Century."
"Women on birth control have babies every day, Jacqueline.
There is no foolproof way of preventing conception short of
abstinence." And you won't be able to do that, my daughter,
Laurie thought. Another little aspect of this Transformation
is that your female needs are extremely well developed and
demanding. Soon, your fingers will not be nearly enough for
you.
"Again, assuming that something goes very wrong, there are
ways of ending an unwanted pregnancy. And it *will* be
unwanted, Mother. No child of my blood will come into this
world because I cannot trust you."
All remaining color drained from Laurie's face. "You can't
terminate, Jack." she whispered, not realizing that she had
fallen back to using his male name. Seeing the look on her
child's face, she hurried on. "It is not only a moral thing,
daughter, it is a rule of magic, as well. Someone who
deliberately snuffs out the spark of life from another human
can never again wield the power."
"Then my dreams will die with the fetus, Mother, for I cannot,
will not permit a child of mine to face what I am facing right
now. I won't Transform him or her, but as long as you live,
you are a threat because you don't believe there is anything
wrong in stealing a dream."
"You keep saying that. What dream? You can become a male
again, if you choose." and after you give me my grandchild she
added in a whispered thought to herself, "What dreams have I
taken from you?"
"College. It took you three years, Mother, so it will
probably cost me at least that much. I will not play college
sports. I won't go to a prom with my best girl on my arm. I
won't learn all the things a man needs to know to live in a
man's world as a man. You might as well have killed me,
Mother, and have had done with it."
Tears came to Laurie's eyes. "You cannot mean that. You are
just upset right now, overwrought. Honestly, Jack, it is not
that bad. In fact, *being* a fellow's best girl at the prom
really is rather wonderful, if you would just give it a
chance. Nothing else needs to change. I am sorry I hurt you
for I see now that I have, but I did not mean for it to be
like this."
Jack watched his Mother's tears with a detachment born of a
soul deep fury. "I will give you one chance, Mother. Reverse
the spell, right now. Return me to normal, give me back the
life *I* want for me instead of the one *you* want for me and
I will not do anything to prevent having children. Otherwise,
live with the fact that you have ended our line with your
gleeful lack of concern for my wants and dreams."
If anything, the tears flowed harder. Last night, Laurie
could have reversed the Transformation. She could have given
her son back the life he evidently wanted enough to threaten
her this way. Now, that was beyond even her power because the
final spell she had cast upon his "request" for "more time"
had been very carefully crafted so that only Jacqueline could
reverse it. Which she could not do until she had learned the
lessons and the magic necessary to effect and control the
Transformation Spell on her own. Lessons that included giving
birth and nurture to a child she now insisted she would never
permit to be born. Goddess, what *had* she done?
"I have to leave." Laurie sobbed and ran from the room leaving
a furious former son, now daughter, behind.
Twenty minutes later, a starkly composed Laurie returned to
find Jack exactly as she had left her. She was simply sitting
there, staring at the picture album. Goddess, but her son
made a beautiful woman. Dark hair, dark flashing eyes and an
olive complexion gave hints to the family's Gypsy ancestry.
In the right period costume, the girl would have looked right
at home in their Great Great Great Grandmother's caravan
wagon, dancing to the rhythm of a tambourine for the coins men
would toss her way and telling fortunes by fire light.
And the son she had given birth to hated the very thought of
that. Probably hated her, too, for her part in it. Still,
there was nothing more she could do about it. Laurie had
spent the last fifteen minutes pouring over her ancestral
texts, looking for a charm or potion or spell that would undo
what she had done, but to no avail. She had done her work far
too well in that respect and evidently not well enough in the
sense of easing her child's acceptance of this change as the
wonderful gift Laurie had seen it as. Now, she had no choice.
She had to play this debacle out the only way she had left to
her and hope, that in the end, she did not lose her child in
the process.
With great care, she walked back to her seat across from her
daughter and sat down. "I cannot undo the Transformation,
Jack. I have gone through all my records, and no one except
the Transformed One has ever been able to reverse the change
successfully."
"So, others have found the change not to their liking?" The
comment was snide and was meant to wound. Laurie did her best
to ignore it.
Instead, she steeled herself not to rise to the spite in
Jack's voice. There was nothing to be gained at this point by
fighting. "According to my family records, there have been
fifty male to female Transformations attempted in our family
over the past two hundred years. Of that number, five men
refused the final Transformation and were restored to their
masculine state at the end of the first hour. Of the
remaining cases, five members of our family who completed
Transformation attempted to reverse the spell. The three who
completed the learning succeeded in undoing Transformation and
lived out their lives as men. However, the other two who
tried to reverse the spell were not successful. One attempted
the change before completing all the steps of the learning,
and the other forced his mother to attempt a counter-spell.
Both died."
Jack sat back, legs akimbo, in a posture of utter male
dejection. It made Jacqueline look completely ridiculous and
rather lewd, but Laurie bit her lip and said nothing. Trying
to enforce the little niceties of ladylike deportment would
not help Laurie's weak case with her daughter. Jacqueline
looked up, her black eyes bleak and filling with tears. "Then
it is over. I know you won't attempt it because you won't
kill me, but in truth, I am not sure I wouldn't rather be dead
right now."
"That is enough!" Laurie's ringing rebuke stunned Jack. "I
will apologize one more time for my stupidity in thinking you
might be intelligent enough, open enough, to appreciate what I
did for you. However, you are alive. You are a beautiful,
intelligent human being who happens to be female and that
*can* be temporary. You have the potential to undo what you
find so absolutely distasteful if you will only quit whining
and get on with what must be done. You don't know anything
about the power you could wield, but just so you might begin
to understand, consider this. You say I have stolen your
dreams, that I am denying you the opportunity to go to college
as a male. If you complete the training and if you master the
skills I will teach you, there is no reason that you cannot
Transform yourself into your male self, at any age you desire.
You want to be an eighteen year old again, then make it so
when you perform the Transformation Spell on yourself. It
will be within your capabilities."
"And all I have to do is learn your little magicks and do your
little tests, is that it? Which you have already said I will
find distasteful. Let's not forget that."
"No, in your current mind set, I imagine they will be bloody
awful for you, but that cannot be helped. It is the only way
that I can find in my records to undo what I have done without
causing your death. For my part, I give you my most solemn
oath that I will teach you everything you need to know as
quickly as you can absorb and master the knowledge. In
return, I want your promise that you will do nothing to try
and accelerate your return to manhood. I won't teach you
without that promise because, while I don't want to live with
your unhappiness on my conscience, I refuse to be the cause of
your death."
Jack considered that. Laurie wanted to squirm under the power
of her unblinking stare. Goddess, but would Jacqueline be
powerful once she learned to focus her craft. Finally, Jack
drew herself up and spoke. "Very well, Mother. I agree and
you have my promise on that score. Just one other thing,
though. If I ever am given cause to believe that you are not
being completely truthful with me again, or that you are
playing games with me, I will leave and never come back. I
will live the rest of my days as you have made me, but with
one small change. I will have myself surgically sterilized so
that this ends with me."
She is striking out, trying to hurt me, as she has been hurt,
Laurie thought. She shook her head. This was going to be so
very hard. Why had it not been hard for her and her mother?
What had she done wrong with her own, beloved child? "Well.
I guess that tells me what you really think of me. I could
say that our family tradition says that I have done nothing to
deserve that, but there are exceptions to every rule and you
evidently are the one that proves it." She shrugged. No sense
in avoiding the worst of it. "Very well. I will agree to your
condition subject to one of my own. I cannot tell you
everything. The tasks you must undertake have lessons that
you must learn yourself. If I tell you what is going to occur
in those cases, then you might as well not do them and you
will not achieve your goal. You will simply have to trust me
on this or we can go no further. You would lose your chance
to master the Transformation Spell."
"Trusting you right now is difficult, Mother." Jack watched as
her arrow shattered her mother's hard won calm, as she had
intended it to do. Oddly, she felt a little ashamed. "All
right. I agree to your condition, but my statement stands.
Any other little non-truth and it is all over for you, for me
and for whatever hope of family continuity you still might
harbor."
"I cannot let you do that, Jack. That is your male ego
talking and I will not permit you to do something that
stupidly harmful to yourself just to lash out at me. If you
attempt to leave, and if you follow through with your threat,
I will use my magic to stop you. You know I can influence
minds and I will make it impossible for you to take such a
horrible step."
The hopeless shrug from her daughter nearly broke Laurie's
heart. "You must do what you think you have to do, Mother, as
must I. You've already taken away the things I thought I
wanted, why not my free will, as well. Seems that would be
the simplest thing all around. Abra Kadabra, Bibbity Bobbity
Boo and Jack is a happy Jill. Or Jacqueline. No more muss or
fuss. Must be easy as pie for a wheeler-dealer spell caster
like you."
Laurie's answer was all but inaudible. "If I do that, you
will never wield magic because once a mind is opened to
magical suggestion, it is open forever. You cannot shield it
against someone else's influence. Only free minds can focus
the power of the Goddess. If I take away that choice, you
will be Jacqueline for the rest of your life." She saw the 'so
what' look in her daughter's eyes and hardened her heart and
her voice. "The only difference between my way and your way,
sweetie, is that I *will* have my grandchild. If you force me
to take your mind, I will go all the way and turn you into the
perfect wife and mother. I swear it! If your children are
all I can have of you, then I will have them."
Jack was strangely unresponsive in light of her ultimatum.
Laurie waited for her to say something, but she didn't.
Finally, Jack stood and looked down at her Mother. "I guess
that says it all. You hold all the cards. If I don't do as
you say, I end up as I am - a baby farm for future generations
of witches. Your kindness and concern for my feelings in all
this almost makes me wish we lived in Salem. When do we
start, Mother-darling?"
The cruel remark and the sarcasm dripping from what had been
her son's favorite endearment cut at her soul like a barely
sharp knife, leaving ragged bleeding bits in its wake. She
would not cry, not again. Not in front of her. "Tomorrow,"
she rasped out. "I need some time to prepare and to fix
things like those records you mentioned. You need some time
to deal with the anger in your soul. Tomorrow is soon
enough." Probably too soon, she thought, but the early
lessons would be the easiest, and Laurie would be the one who
decided when the objectives of those lessons had been
achieved.
"Very well, Mother. I will be in the garden." and with that,
Jacqueline turned on her heel and strode to the garden.
The absurd picture of it drew forth a watery chuckle from
Laurie after the door slammed behind Jack. She had looked so
silly trying to walk like a man in that compact, curvy body.
Bouncing like that probably hurt like hell. Well, dealing
with her first brassiere was a milestone in any girl's life.
Only most girls started with training bras fitted over a
dreaming young girl's hopeful almost-bumps. Her daughter had
to face a garment intended for a grown woman and was going to
have to fit it over fully formed B or C cup sized breasts.
How was she going to pull this off, she asked herself again.
How was she going to get her child through all the training,
all the lessons that she would need to come into the fullness
of her powers? Especially when the entire process had to
culminate with the ultimate expression of the woman-power, the
giving and nurturing of life? Somehow, she had to manipulate
her child into accepting . . . no, that was not enough. Her
child had to glory in his new found womanliness in order to
gain the power. Somehow.
Sighing, she rose from her seat and headed for her library.
First things first, she reminded herself, wearily. She needed
to make a place in this strange new world for her daughter.
There were records to change and memories to adjust before
Jacqueline could take Jack's place. After that, she would
have to go clothes shopping. Jack could get by on sweats and
castoffs for today, but she would need enough real clothes to
get started tomorrow, and Laurie's own wardrobe would not do
for her daughter. For one thing, her stuff was not
appropriate for a teenager, and for another, her things would
probably not fit Jack. Laurie's experienced fashion-eye told
her that Jacqueline was slimmer in the waist and bigger in the
bust than her Mother.
What a waste, she thought, casting such lovely pearls before
such a male chauvinist swine. Well, it was her job to help
her daughter learn to appreciate her new riches. It was much
more than she had let on to Jack. If Laurie was right about
her daughter's potential, Jacqueline's power was going to be
greatly needed in the dark days to come.
Continued in Part 2
From ue4tigger@alices.com Wed Apr 09 21:20:24 1997
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From: ue4tigger@alices.com
Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.tg
Subject: ASSTG/ASS [NEW] A Change of Directiion Part 2/23 (Magic, TG)
Date: Wed, 9 Apr 1997 21:20:24 -0400
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A Change of Direction: An Alternative Ending to Mike
Allegretto's Change of Pace
© 1997 by Tigger
Based upon and derived from the situations and characters
developed by Mike Allegretto and Caitlin B. in their
collaborative story, "A Change of Pace", posted 2/16/97
on ASSTG. Written and published with the express permission
of the original authors. No archiving or redistribution of
this work is permitted without this copyright attribution
included, intact and complete, in the posting/archiving.
Archiving/publication of this author's work on any system that
requires payment in any form is prohibited by the author and
is in violation of my copyright to Chapters 7 and beyond.
The following is a work of erotic fiction. It is
intended for the entertainment of mature, legally adult
individuals living in areas where the possession and enjoyment
of such material is legal. If you are not legally an
adult, or if such material is not legal in your locale, then
you are violating a trust as well as the law. Please leave
now.
The first three characters of my reply to address are random as a
result of the vicious email spam I have been subjected to since I
began posting. Please reply to
tigger@alices.com.
A Change of Direction
Chapter 8
"Where the hell was he?" his still sleep fogged mind demanded.
Slowly, he fought his way to full wakefulness and tried to
take stock of his surroundings. Nothing was familiar.
Nothing was as it had been when he had fallen asleep or as it
had been for the last four years of his life. Only his window
that overlooked Mum's garden was where it belonged, but
everything else was. . . . wrong.
His basketball poster, his model planes and cars, his sports
memorabilia - every single thing that had been his was gone.
In their place were odd, fragile looking little nick-nacks,
crystal statues, dolls and a rock singer poster. A male rock
singer that Jack could not stand in the least.
And all *his* furniture was gone, too, replaced by a very
feminine, ivory colored ensemble. Even the bed he'd fallen
asleep in was gone, replaced instead by a frill-laden canopy
bed.
Mother. It had to be Mother. His hands came up to cup the
soft mounds of flesh that now a part of him. It had not been
just a dream, after all. A nightmare, maybe, and from the
looks of his room, Mother had used her magic to up the ante
while he'd slept.
He started to get out of bed and nearly fell when instinctive
movements learned over the course of a lifetime did not take
into account his new center of gravity. Overbalanced by his
new weight distribution, he only just caught himself on the
bed frame. Carefully, and with a great deal of conscious
effort, he rose again and moved about to inspect "his" room
more closely.
His large dresser had been replaced by an ornate armoire while
his desk had become a vanity table covered with a variety of
tubes, bottles and pots that held things he really did not
want to think about. On entering his walk-in closet, he was
greeted by nothing but rows of empty hangers and shelves.
Every hint of his male identity had been ripped from the room,
as ruthlessly and as completely as his masculinity had been
ripped from him.
In stunned disbelief, Jack stood there in the door to his
closet and quietly mourned the loss of all the little prizes
and treasures of a lifetime. A stray lock of hair fell across
his face and resisted his best effort to clear it out of his
eyes.
Slowly, he walked over to the vanity and found the very
feminine hairbrush he knew would be there. His mother was
nothing if not attentive to the fine details. Jack quickly
came to rue that he'd never gone through a "long-hair" stage
as a male so that he could have known how to deal with the
shaggy mane. Brushing that tangled black mass was itself a
tortuous experience in self abuse. He quietly admitted to
himself he should have listened to Mum's advice and brushed it
out more thoroughly the previous morning.
He brushed it furiously until he could not find any more
snarls and then tried to figure out how to keep the damn stuff
out of his face. Rubber bands seemed the simplest solution,
and soon his mane was gathered behind his head. It was not
elegant, but he could see again. A butch cut was looking
better and better to him.
What to wear was the next question and there was only one
answer immediately evident. A pair of white panties and a
folded white cotton terrycloth robe rested on the cushioned
stool in front of the vanity table. A pair of pink rubber
shower slippers, rested beside the stool on the floor.
Jack stripped off the sweatshirt and man's jogging shorts he
had worn since yesterday and donned the garments his mother
had left for him. He was disappointed, but not especially
surprised, when his discarded clothes had simply disappeared
before his eyes.
As ready as he was likely to be, Jack moved out of the
relative sanctuary of his room, and went off to face his
Mother. He found her seated at the kitchen table, sipping
coffee, a plate of toast in front of her. Her chin rested
heavily in the palm of her free hand. Dark smudges bagged
under her half open eyes and fatigue lines cut starkly into
her normally smooth face.
Walking past her to pour a cup for himself, he turned back to
her. "Busy night, Mother-darling?" he asked with heavy irony,
as he sat down across from her.
She cocked one of her eyes at him, but displayed no other
emotion at his jibe. "Obviously, Jacqueline. There was a lot
that had to be done if we were going to be able to start your
training today." She reached down and pulled up a stack of
papers from the chair beside her and slid them across the
table. "You will need these. ID's, driver's license, health
insurance card and all your other personal effects and
accounts, but all now set up in the name of Jacqueline Donovan
instead of John."
"And my friends? The people who know me?"
"Now remember only Jacqueline, and as for friends, some
adjustments had to be made there, too. You have a history of
being one of the girls instead of one of the boys. You are
the cheerleader instead of the cheered. And before you jump on
me, no, you don't have a boy friend. Given your looks, that
may raise some issues for you, but I figured you would rather
deal with those questions instead having to deal with a man."
Jack's face fell as he took it all in. Finally, he sighed and
took a bracing sip of his coffee. "So, my life is wiped as
clean as everything that was mine was blotted out of my room.
Is nothing mine, anymore, Mother?"
She was simply too tired to argue with him. The magic she had
expended the night before had taken its toll on all her
resources. She was exhausted and needed rest. "Had to be
done. Step one of your trip back to your old male self.
Every little reminder of your masculinity will set back your
progress. Remember, the requirement is that you must fully
acclimate to being a woman." She looked up and saw the pain
in her daughter's face and immediately understood. "Oh, don't
look that way." she said disgustedly. "None of your things
are gone forever. The instant your chromosomes are XY again,
they will reappear. Just like magic."
Jack could not quite hid the glimmer of a smile at her little
joke, but tried anyway. "So, what is the plan for today,
teacher? What little punishments are on the docket, today?"
Laurie wanted to scream, but didn't. It wouldn't do any good
and she needed to conserve what energy she still had. With a
calmness that did not remotely resemble her actual feelings,
she answered, "As long as you consider it punishment,
Jacqueline, we might as well do nothing. Get this straight,
okay? You have to work at this. Moreover, you have to want
it. It would be best and perhaps even easiest, if you could
want the experience for itself, for the simple pleasure of
being a beautiful woman. But if you cannot want it for that,
then at least want it because it is the only way you are going
to achieve your goal."
With great effort, Laurie used both hands to push herself to
her feet. She kicked a shopping bag over to Jack. "You have
two tasks today, one fairly simple; the other will apparently
not be so simple. In that bag you will find a full set of
clothes in your new sizes. Skin out. You need to learn how
to dress yourself, and to get used to how women's clothes feel
on your body. I suggest you dress and undress yourself
several times until you get the hang of it." A sly grin
momentarily lit her face. "There are several pairs of hose in
there since you will probably run the first couple of pairs.
Try to get it right before you ruin the last pair."
"It might be easier if you would try not to have quite so much
fun with this at my expense, Mother." Jack said darkly.
Her momentary pleasure instantly evaporated. "I wanted to
have fun doing all of this with you, Jacqueline. I'd always
believed that when this time came for us, I would relive
through you all the lovely and joyful things I discovered with
my own mother when she taught me. Can't you let me have what
little crumbs of pleasure that fall my way in this?"
Jack was not going to let her make him feel small in this. He
wasn't - this was her fault and if it was not as pleasurable
as she had wished it would be, well that was a small thing
compared to what she had done to him. He ignored her question
and instead asked one of his own in a toneless, inflection-
less voice. "You said there were two things I had to
accomplish today. What was the other task?"
Recognizing the implicit rejection of her request, Laurie
responded in equally cold tones of her own. "You need to
start thinking of yourself in the feminine. Understand that I
can hear your thoughts, feel your emotions, Jacqueline. You
are trying to perpetuate the image of yourself as a man stuck
in a woman's body."
"Well, that is exactly what I am, thanks to you!" he snarled.
"As long as that is what you think you are, that is all you
will be, daughter. And we can go no further in your training
until you start accepting the reality of your female state."
Laurie turned and walked back to stand before her child.
"Believe me, Jacqueline, if I could somehow undo the
Transformation, or if I could somehow go back in time and make
it so that none of this ever happened, I would do it. No
matter what the cost to myself. If my last drop of heart's
blood would make you what you long to be, I would cut my
wrists here and now. But those are not options. Only you can
do what needs be done." She absently brushed an escaped lock
of black hair from Jacqueline's eyes. "Only you. I am going
up to bed and get some rest. Later today, we will go out and
get you some more clothes." She spun on her heel and left the
room.
Jack, no, *Jacqueline* sat sipping *her* coffee in the eerie
silence. He, dammit, *she* was at a loss about what to do
next. This thinking in the female tense was going to be a
bitch.
*She* sat there for a little more than an hour, practicing
*her* feminine thinking. Toward the end of *her* mental
recitation period, *she* only had to correct him, blast,
*her*self about every fifth or sixth time. Progress was
progress, *she* supposed. Maybe it would even be good enough
for a start, anyway. There was one problem, though. Maybe it
was a holdover from the way *her* Mother had introduced him,
err, *her* to *her* new self, but one thing was very, very
clear.
He/She/Whatever _*hated*_ the name "Jacqueline" and
He/She/Whatever _*always*_ would!
Well, there was not much to be done about it now. Not with
all those records already done. *She* did not know much about
how magic really worked, but *she* did know that changing all
those records and memories had cost *her* mother dearly, and
the strength Mum had expended doing that magic would not
likely be replenished any time soon.
Sighing, *she* decided that it was not a battle worth fighting
and picked up the bag with his, no, make that *her* new
clothes and trudged off to practice dressing.
Five hours later, Laurie, alert and refreshed, came downstairs
where she found her daughter sprawled on the sofa watching the
24-hour news channel. Apart from her ungainly and totally
unladylike posture, Laurie's discerning eyes (and other, less
common senses) could find definite improvements since that
morning. The simple knit sweater and skirt set had been
selected because they would not pose too many challenges for
her daughter who still thought and acted like a son. No
buttons on the "wrong" side, no zippers in the back - just a
simple, loose pullover sweater blouse that draped casually
over the waist of an equally loose, knee length skirt that
zipped up the side. The pantyhose weren't rent from ankle to
thigh with ladders and runs, and the simple black pumps with
only the merest hint of a heel fit perfectly.
Jacqueline had not ventured so far as to try any of the
cosmetics her Mother had carefully selected and arrayed on her
vanity, but she had made a fairly good attempt at taming that
gorgeous hair of hers. She had done a reasonably good job
figuring out how to put on the hair band that pulled the
curling mass away from her face. Of course, that particular
invention was probably the daughter of necessity since seeing
clearly through long hair was annoying at best.
"I can see that deportment and posture will be among our first
lessons." she said aloud. Her voice obviously startled her
child for she jumped and nearly slipped off the couch in her
surprise. "Well, Jacqueline, stand up, please and let me get
a good look at you."
The eyes that met Laurie's were still cold and distant, but
with great deliberation, the body moved to obey her request.
Stage one begins, she thought - sullen, malicious compliance
to any order, intermixed with enough body language to show
just how obnoxious you and obeying you really are. Laurie
moved behind her daughter, as much to gain a moment's respite
from those eyes as to check out the rest of the outfit. "You
need to be more careful with laying out your skirts before you
sit, dear. The back of your skirt is frightfully wrinkled and
crushed from the way you sat upon it, Jacqueline."
"Jackie."
The response was not at all what she was expecting and Laurie
was momentarily at a loss for words. "I beg your pardon?"
"I wish to be called Jackie. I detest the name Jacqueline -
it reminds me too much of our confrontation yesterday and last
night and therefore is non-productive - like the possessions I
*used* to love and own. Since I suspect that you won't have
the strength to change the world for me again anytime soon,
Jackie is the best compromise I can come up with."
"I see. That may be difficult for me as Jacqueline was the
name I had chosen for you since you were born. That is really
why you were called Jack. Since I always knew it would be my
duty to bring you to your full powers by exposing you to the
Transformation Spell, you have always been Jacqueline in my
heart."
That had been the wrong thing to say and Laurie knew it the
instant she saw her child's face. "I was not born female and
I will not respond to Jacqueline, so get used to calling me
Jackie or perhaps just "hey, you" will do. What is in your
heart is not something I am greatly concerned with at this
point in my life, Mother."
Laurie coughed to choke back the sob. "Very well. Jacqu... I
mean, Jackie. I will try."
The love Jackie still felt for his Mother twisted inside her
own heart and he, dammit again, *she* tried to make it a
little easier for both of them. "It will do you good, Mum, to
have to stop and consider *your* words before you speak or
even think. It will give you an idea of how hard thinking of
myself as *she* and *her* has been and continues to be for me.
Tell you what, we can spell my new call name with a 'cq',
instead of a 'ck'. Jacqui." She spelled the name out aloud.
"How's that for a compromise? Best deal you are going to get
today."
A little bubble of hope rose in Laurie's breast. "Okay." she
whispered and then added. "Sounds fair." She shook off the
emotion. They had much yet to do this day. "So, I will ask
how the dressing up practice went since I can already sense
your effort to think 'girl'. I applaud you progress there, by
the way." You only have about 99.99% of the way yet to go,
but that is further then I expected to find you given the way
you reacted this morning, she thought. "So, are you ready to
go shopping for new clothes? You need skirts, blouses,
dresses, shoes and of course, some lovely knickers and other
undies." she dropped her eyes to Jacqui's legs. "How many of
your pantyhose are left intact?"
A rosy blush crept up her daughter's cheeks. "Ummm. Just
these." Laurie cocked an eyebrow. "They, uhhh, seemed to run
awfully easy."
"Those were the industrial strength, heavy weave nylon, dear,
designed specifically *not* to run. I suppose you just tried
to pull them on like trousers?" A hesitant nod was her answer.
"Yes, well, there are tricks I will teach you before you put
on any of the really silky stockings we will buy today. Any
other troubles?"
Another, even redder blush and a cough to clear her throat.
"The bra. I am not flexible enough to reach behind me and
latch it while trying to look in the mirror. I finally had to
hook the thing in front and then spin it around behind me."
"Good on you, girl. That works, particularly with everyday
things. Some of the frilly stuff might need a little gentler
hand, but we can work up to those. Other than that, how do
you feel in those clothes?"
"Underdressed. I notice drafts a lot. Very uncomfortable."
Laurie nodded. The answers were honest and were to be
expected. At least Jacqui was talking with her with some
degree of openness again. "All right, then. You will get
used to those feelings. We'll have you turned out to a fair-
thee-well after today and you will have ample opportunity to
get used to skirts and their little foibles and traps."
"What about trousers, jeans? I would like some jeans,
Mother."
That was a problem. Mentally saying goodbye to their
momentary peace, Laurie answered. "That is not in your best
interest, dear. You already know how to wear pants. You will
learn what it is to be a woman much more quickly if you work
at being an especially feminine woman. You have so much to
learn in a short time. Don't forget, besides your own goals
in this, you will start school again in a few weeks. You will
need a whole range of behaviors at your command to deal with
school as a girl instead of as a boy."
"Just one pair? For knocking about? Won't it seem strange to
my girlfriends if I never wear anything but dresses and
skirts?" Jacqui pleaded. "How about if I promise to always
wear my frilliest bra and knickers when I wear the jeans?"
Pleased that Jacqui had not gotten her back up, Laurie smiled.
"All right, but just one pair. They will be very, very tight
and you will also agree to wear only high heeled shoes when
you wear the jeans, too." That would serve two purposes,
Laurie thought. It was nearly impossible to forget you were a
girl when wearing jeans that were a couple of sizes too small,
and it would get her daughter into real heels more quickly.
"Heels?" Jacqui momentarily bridled, but then deflated.
"Okay, I agree."
"Let's go get ready to leave. Your purse is with mine in the
foyer and your new ID are already in it." Laurie turned toward
the front door.
"Mum?" The name she had not heard without sarcasm in over 48
hours brought her up short. She turned and cocked a brow at
Jacqui. "Two things, first. One, I want to see a doctor - a
real one, not one of your witch cronies. I want advice on
birth control and I don't want you to interfere in any way or
to try to stop me."
Laurie understood where that was coming from. Jacqui was
starting to understand the full erotic potential and demands
of her new body. She was still female because she had been
unable to resist the demands of her new sexuality. Conceiving
a child was not on her agenda, *yet*, and she was trying to
take action to avoid getting caught between some guy and her
own burgeoning hormones.
"All right. We can select one of your choice from the phone
book, completely at random if that will make you feel more
comfortable. However, you should understand that the proper
term for the type of doctor you want is a gynecologist." The
"so-what" look that revelation elicited made Laurie decide to
change the subject. "One other thing, dear. You need to know
something about Transformed women. Whether we use
contraception or not, we get pregnant when we want the child
of the man making love to us."
"I want to see a doctor, Mother, and I want birth control."
Jacqui's tone brooked no further discussion on the issue.
Sighing, Laurie wondered what the girl was thinking.
Obviously, she did not believe her regarding the effectiveness
of the contraceptives. "Very well. We can set up the
appointment right now and go as soon as the doctor can see
you. I can go with you or you can go alone, but you have my
personal word of honor, that I will do nothing to influence or
impede you in any way. And the other thing?" The look of
relief on Jacqui's face was painful to Laurie who was only
just beginning to really understand how thoroughly she had
shattered her only child's faith and trust in her.
"I'd like to get my hair cut. Lots of women have short hair.
I don't want to have to deal with this mop for the rest of my
time as a woman."
Damn, damn, damn! thought Laurie. "Jacqui, could we hold off
on that, please? At least for a little while, until you have
had a chance to learn how to care for your hair? You can
always get it cut, but it will take months and months to grow
it back. I think you should wear it long, just as I think you
should stick to skirts and dresses, but if, after a reasonable
attempt to live with it, you still want to cut it, then I
won't stand in your way."
"I could just hack it off in my room, Mother." the frustration
was back in her daughter's voice.
"Yes, you could. If you get to the point where you are that
unhappy with it, then tell me and we will go straight off to
the beauty parlor. Please, Jacqui, all I am asking is that
you give me a chance, luv." Her eyes were wide with entreaty
as she looked at Jacqui. "Please." She said again.
The pleading in his, *her* mother's voice touched that hurting
core of love inside Jacqui. "All right. I will give it two
weeks, halfway until school opens. That should give you time
to teach me how to deal with it so that it does not get in my
way. If it is still a hassle after that, it goes. Fair
enough?"
"Fair enough. Now, can we please go? I want to go
**SHOPPING** with my daughter."
"Shopping." There was a world of difference in the way the two
women said the word. "You sure you can't just get everything
mail order? I'd wait."
"Over my dead body, young lady. I am determined to enjoy this
and nothing is going to ruin it for me. Now move that cute
butt and let's go."
Continued in Part 3
From cv8tigger@alices.com Thu Apr 10 20:59:24 1997
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Subject: ASSTG/ASS [NEW] A Change of Direction Part 3/23 (Magic, TG)
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A Change of Direction: An Alternative Ending to Mike
Allegretto's Change of Pace
1997 by Tigger
Based upon and derived from the situations and characters
developed by Mike Allegretto and Caitlin B. in their
collaborative story, "A Change of Pace", posted 2/16/97
on ASSTG. Written and published with the express permission
of the original authors. No archiving or redistribution of
this work is permitted without this copyright attribution
included, intact and complete, in the posting/archiving.
Archiving/publication of this author's work on any system that
requires payment in any form is prohibited by the author and
is in violation of my copyright to Chapters 7 and beyond.
The following is a work of erotic fiction. It is
intended for the entertainment of mature, legally adult
individuals living in areas where the possession and enjoyment
of such material is legal. If you are not legally an
adult, or if such material is not legal in your locale, then
you are violating a trust as well as the law. Please leave
now.
The first three characters of my reply to address are random as a
result of the vicious email spam I have been subjected to since I
began posting. Please reply to
tigger@alices.com.
A Change of Direction
Chapter 9
Laurie gently eased her tired body into the steamy, fragrant
bubbles and all but whimpered with pleasure. The two weeks since
she had fouled up the Transformation of her son Jack into her
daughter Jacqui had been difficult, to say the least. All the
same, there had been a few noteworthy successes.
She was lying in one of them. Jacqui had fallen hopelessly in
love with bubble baths. Quite a departure from the son who
thought that more than two minutes in a shower was wasted time.
Of course, the innate sensuousness and sensuality that the
Transformation imposed on Jacqui had a great deal to do with
that. After that first time, when she had needed to frog-walk
the girl into the tub after their marathon shopping expedition,
Jacqui had practically grown webbed feet. It was a good thing
they each had their own full bathroom or it would have been
shampoo bottles at ten paces and may the more determined woman
get the tub.
After a week of work, she had convinced Jacqui that she could
live with hair longer than the skull hugging bob she'd found in a
fashion magazine. Not that her daughter would not have looked
fantastic in that hairdo. They had ended up compromising, again.
The result was a trim that left enough hair to reach down her
back to her shoulder blades, but that was easy to brush out in
the morning and that tended to stay out of Jacqui's face.
The trip to the gynecologist had been a revelation to both of
them. Laurie had been dumbfounded to learn that her daughter was
"virgo intacto". That meant that her son had never enjoyed
sexual intercourse with a girl or woman. By its very nature, the
Transformation Spell Transformed virgins into virgins. Well,
that was one experience that Jacqui had to look forward to that
Laurie had no personal knowledge of - Larry had not been a virgin
when his Mother had Transformed him, so Laurel had not possessed
an intact hymen at her "birth". That could pose problems later
on. She would need to discuss this with the others. For Jacqui,
the unhappy discovery that "Dr. M. L. Sullivan" was a woman whose
name was Michelle Louise had been daunting. It was something of
a hoot to try and convince the girl that, given that she was now
a girl, undressing and being intimately examined by a female was
*supposed* to be less embarrassing for her. Still, it had all
gone very well, and if Jacqui had asked questions more suited to
a 12 year old just entering puberty than to a fully developed and
nearly mature 18 year old, the doctor had done nothing to make
her daughter more uncomfortable than she already was. All in
all, the doctor did Jacqui a lot of good. Laurie would remember
her for the others who had sons due for Transformation.
The brassieres had been a minor problem. Jacqui hadn't
understood how to adjust them and had finally been forced to come
to her Mother for help because her shoulders and breasts hurt so
badly at the end of the day. The misadjusted bras were pulling
her bosoms in directions nature had not intended and were not
distributing the weight properly. Besides, she had adjusted the
back straps much too tightly in an effort to use the bras to hide
her nicely rounded breasts. A few adjustments and realignments,
along with a little motherly advice had solved those problems.
And it wasn't as if the girl was grossly huge, anyway. She had a
lovely figure, curvy where she should be, slender where she
should be. If only she'd appreciate it, Laurie mourned.
Cosmetics were another non-winner. The memory of Jacqui's
furious tantrum at home after Laurie had sprung an unannounced,
full up make-over on the girl during that visit to the beauty
parlor still made Laurie shudder. That blowup had surprised
Laurie almost as much as Jacqui's reaction to the Transformation.
She had looked so lovely when the beauty consultant had finished
with her, but Jacqui had not uttered a single word from the time
the beautician had arrived at Jacqui's chair until they arrived
home at the end of the day. She had, however, more than made up
for that silence once she had gotten her Mother behind closed
doors.
Laurie had finally resorted to a little magical probing to figure
out what had provoked so violent a reaction. It would have been
funny had it not been so sad. Jacqui's still male mind had been
turned on by Jacqui's beautifully made up face, and *he* (and it
most definitely was the part of Jacqui that was still *he*) had
not been able to handle it. And like most males when faced with
something they can't handle, Jacqui had gone livid and had lashed
out at the 'cause' of her problem. That had cost them a couple
of days of seething tension. Worse, it had ended the shaky truce
between them, as well. Jacqui cooperated with Laurie's lessons,
but otherwise spent as little time as possible in her Mother's
presence. Fortunately, things were settling down once again.
With Jacqui's somewhat grudging cooperation, other, important
lessons were proceeding apace. Jacqui was trying manfully
(again the correct term) to be womanly. If the tone of Laurie's
teaching was more appropriate to a Victorian girl still in the
schoolroom than to a modern woman of the nineties, well, Laurie
thought, that served a purpose, too. The very exaggerated
gestures and movements she had drilled into him were too
theatrical to be of any use in a modern setting, but what was
left over, when Jacqui wasn't "acting out for teacher", was
nicely feminine.
In the course of these lessons, Jacqui had walked back and forth
across the living room in her new high heels, balancing Jane
Austen's _Pride and Prejudice_ on her head. She had learned to
sit demurely, with her back straight and her knees together
thanks to a few judiciously placed straps for reminders. She'd
learned to pour and serve tea with the dexterity and aristocratic
snobbery of a Regency Dame. She'd read, under duress, romance
novels which she was subsequently quizzed on about the heroine's
feelings and motivations.
Her forays into public had gotten a bit easier as she'd become
more used to her new skin and to the clothing that Laurie
insisted she wear. Jacqui looked particularly good in Laura
Ashley, but then, most good looking young women did.
The more intimate lessons had been the hardest ones to get across
to her only semi-willing pupil. Teaching her daughter the
fundamentals of feminine hygiene had not been a fun experience
for either of them. Jacqui had twice stormed off in a humiliated
huff during those lessons. Only the fear for her daughter's
health had spurred Laurie to finish those lessons. An internal
infection might damage Jacqui's reproductive system which would
put paid to any chance she might have of undoing the
Transformation. Laurie had finally resorted to a minor touch of
magic in order to convince Jacqui of the need for these female
ablutions. Amazing what a simple urinary tract infection or just
a taste of a vaginal yeast infection had done to help her
daughter understand the ramifications of not keeping the inner
woman clean.
By tacit agreement, they'd left the twin issues of sex and
sexuality alone. Although Jacqui would have to face them when
she went back to school, there were ways of avoiding the issue
for a short while longer. For one thing, it was going to take
real effort to get the girl to go out with a boy, period, and for
another, her child went to school for two things, learning and
sports. She would have only the most innocent of contact with
boys for the time being. Laurie was entirely happy to let that
particular hurdle stay in the future. Jacqui needed more time to
learn better the scope of her new body's needs and demands. At
the same time, she needed to learn some control of her physical
reactions, as well.
The last thing Laurie wanted was for Jacqui to slip up with some
guy and get herself pregnant. It was simply too soon. Getting
pregnant now, without the fundamental grounding in magic
necessary to finish learning the Transformation Spell, wouldn't
do her daughter any good. Jacqui simply had too much to learn
before she could begin to wield the power she would need to be
male again. Telling her that she had to get pregnant once was a
conversation Laurie wished she could avoid. Having to tell her
that her first pregnancy wasn't enough did not bear thinking
about.
Secondly, and just as importantly, she took Jacqui's threat of
abortion and self-sterilization seriously. Laurie knew the
rigidity of her son's will (and his sheer pigheaded stubbornness)
and really feared what *he* might do before her *daughter* had
finished sorting herself out. She only hoped that Jacqui took
her own threat of using mind control magic just as seriously.
Otherwise, they were in deep trouble because the threat was
hollow. She would not, could not do that to Jacqui, because that
would be exactly what Jacqui had accused her of doing -
destroying the last of her child's dreams.
Laurie needed to talk to her Sisters. Some decisions had to made
quickly and she needed their wise counsel. Maybe tomorrow she'd
call Bronwyn.
The chill of the rapidly cooling bath water pulled Laurie back
from her reveries. Quickly, she washed off and got out of the
tub. Her mind would not let her rest and she found herself going
downstairs to get a book. On her return, she heard a muffled
sound coming from inside Jacqui's room. She was about to
discount it as her imagination, when she heard it again. It was
a moan of pain. Tiptoeing over to the door, she peeked in.
There on the bed, laying on her side and huddled into a fetal
position about her pillow, was her daughter.
Laurie moved into the room and settled on to the bed beside
Jacqui. She looked up from her pillow, misery clouding her eyes.
"Mum, I'm sick. I think I have that flu bug again, like I caught
last winter. I feel so nauseous and my lower belly is in knots."
Jacqui was in such discomfort, she forgot she was still cross
with Laurie.
Laurie had been expecting this. She had described this
experience vividly in the diary she'd taken to keeping after her
own Transformation. It was right on time, she mused, and
evidently just as rough as her own first time. Gently, she put a
soothing hand on her daughter's sweaty forehead and massaged her
temples. "It's all right, luv." she whispered. "It's not the
flu. It is just the first arrival of your monthly. To be sure,
this is one of the less attractive aspects of your new station in
life, but it is a miracle, none-the-less. You are a woman, now,
Jacqui. You are starting your first menses."
Jacqui pulled her covers over her head. "Oh, god, I had
completely forgotten that part of this." Another groan signaled
the onset of another round of cramps. "I don't know how I will
ever forgive you for this, Mother."
Although the words were sharp, the tone was not. It reminded
Laurie of the gentle male/female bantering she used to engage in
regularly with her son. It actually warmed her. "I know just how
you feel, luv. I said much the same thing to my own Mum about
this time after she Transformed me." Reaching down, she pulled
the covers off her daughter and admired for a brief instant the
lovely nightgown she wore. Jacqui had steadfastly refused to
model her nightwear for her Mother, giving Laurie cause to wonder
if she was sleeping in the buff. Evidently not, she thought
happily. "Come along with me, Miss. Time for your first lesson
on the care of the menstruating female. You don't want to get
that lovely night shift all messy, now do you?"
The technical aspects of inserting the tampon had been acutely
embarrassing for her child. Sitting on the toilet, splaying her
legs wide so that her *Mother* could demonstrate the process,
had nearly reduced the girl to tears. Laurie had tried to make
things easier for them both by injecting some humor into the
proceedings, but Jacqui's expression told her that there was
*nothing* funny about it. Maybe she'd look back on it, someday,
and see the humorous bits in it, Laurie thought hopefully.
Once the immediate problem of leakage was under control, Laurie
had put Jacqui back to bed and given her a gentle back massage.
Her knowledgeable fingers soon relaxed the tight muscles of
Jacqui's abdomen and her daughter fell asleep almost immediately
thereafter.
A quick, magic-assisted examination of her daughter proved that
all of Jacqui's internal organs were working and fully female.
Phase one was complete. Her daughter was a fertile, sexually
mature female. She could now begin learning magic. Her body
had just taken the critical first step toward reversing the
Transformation she hated so very much. The next step would come
in ten to sixteen days when she ovulated for the first time.
Quietly pleased, Laurie tiptoed back to her room and went to
sleep.
Continued in Part 4
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A Change of Direction: An Alternative Ending to Mike
Allegretto's Change of Pace
1997 by Tigger
Based upon and derived from the situations and characters
developed by Mike Allegretto and Caitlin B. in their
collaborative story, "A Change of Pace", posted 2/16/97
on ASSTG. Written and published with the express permission
of the original authors. No archiving or redistribution of
this work is permitted without this copyright attribution
included, intact and complete, in the posting/archiving.
Archiving/publication of this author's work on any system that
requires payment in any form is prohibited by the author and
is in violation of my copyright to Chapters 7 and beyond.
The following is a work of erotic fiction. It is
intended for the entertainment of mature, legally adult
individuals living in areas where the possession and enjoyment
of such material is legal. If you are not legally an
adult, or if such material is not legal in your locale, then
you are violating a trust as well as the law. Please leave
now.
The first three characters of my reply to address are random as a
result of the vicious email spam I have been subjected to since I
began posting. Please reply to
tigger@alices.com.
A Change of Direction
Chapter 10
Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan
This is *not*, underline that, please, *not* a diary and I am
not going to open it the way I have read that teenage girls do
by writing "Dear Diary" on every damned page. This is a
journal, a record of my experiences as I work to become my own
man again. It is also a place where I can vent in privacy.
Actually, the whole thing is Mum's idea and she has promised
some big deal oath that she will not use her magic to
"eavesdrop" on any thoughts I express in here.
It is a good idea, actually, although I refuse to tell her
that. God knows, I need some place to discuss things or I
will go crazy. I won't go to Mum and I can't go to anyone
else. So this is the place where I will talk with myself.
And with Jack.
I know I promised Mum I would work to think of myself as the
female I give every outward appearance of being. And I have.
Mostly. But Jack is still a part of me, and he still needs
expression. At least, he does if I/he/we are ever going to
get through this with my/his/our sanity intact.
Anyway, on with the writing....
18 Days A. T. (*that's *A*fter *T*ransformation. I need a
time scale. I would rather count "days to Re-Transformation",
but I can't. Mum doesn't even know when that will happen. Or
if she does know, she is not telling me. Which would mean
that she is lying to me, again, and I really don't think she
is - this time. I think I believe her. At least, I believe
she does not know *that* bit of information, anyway.)
I have just been assured that my *first* period is now
officially over. I hereby apologize to all the girls I
snickered at in the eighth grade when they turned green and
had to go to the school nurse every month or so. I also
understand the true meaning of "being on the rag". It has
nothing to do with the various cloth implements intended to
collect the discharge and thus keep our womanly parts and
clothes from becoming a bloody mess. No, the phrase *must*
derive from what the whole damned process feels like,
particularly when it first hits. I can only liken it to
having somebody reach inside you, grab hold of your guts with
both hands and then try to wring them out like a wet dish rag.
This is neither "wonderful" nor "glorious", Mum.
Jack went into deep hiding during the whole four days, the
damned coward. Left me alone to face the thing all by myself.
Well, not quite. Mum was there for me. She was actually
pretty great about the whole thing. I did not appreciate her
attempts at humor. On reflection that was more because of a
petty desire to pout and sulk then the lameness of her jokes.
Some weren't *too* bad. Her back massages were *blissful*
and the food she fixed for me was bland but it stayed down
when I did not think anything I ate would.
It's a strange thing and I don't know for sure, nor will I ask
her, but I think she did something magical to blunt the worst
of it that first night. Don't know why, just a feeling
niggling in my head. Her hands felt sort of warm on my back,
only it wasn't the hot kind of warm. Can't describe it,
really, you just had to be there.
Taking birth control pills every day sure seems strange. Not
that I want to be with guys *that* way, but if I have learned
nothing else about this new body of mine, I have found out
that I am very easily aroused, and once I am turned on, I
*need* sexual relief. Since I am not sure that my mental
reservations about guys will preclude some male from getting
me sexually excited, I really don't want to take the chance.
What is that old line about what you call women who rely upon
contraceptive methods other than chemical or shields? They
call them Mothers. And since I am a virgin, that leaves only
the chemical method for me. Particularly since I am *not*
going to trust a man to protect me.
What am I saying??!? A man? Me? Damn.
Mom gave me some line about only getting pregnant if I want
the baby of the man who is inside me. What a crock! Does she
*want* me to get pregnant? If I believe her, all I have to do
is not want babies and I am home free. Somehow, I don't think
so, Mum.
Which leads me to another, scarier line of thought. What the
hell is all this learning I am going to find so "bloody
awful"??!? I know Mom had me, and I *do* know where babies
come from. I don't think I am going to be permitted to avoid
becoming "fully female" with a man, but I hope it is not
something really sick, like taking a man in my mouth or
putting out to two guys at once.
Naw, whatever Mom is, she is not that nasty. More likely, I
am going to have to make out with a guy and enjoy it. Yeah,
something like that. She is just not going to happy until I
get thoroughly screwed and love it.
Well, that is it for today. Not a bad first start, and I *do*
feel a little better. Jack feels a bit ashamed at my
discussion of his cowardice, but he'll get over it. For now,
I have a date with a hot tub full of bubbles. Another thing
about this monthly affirmation of my new femininity. It makes
you smell just a bit off, particularly up close, and a shower
just doesn't get the job done.
Just wish I had something to read other than fashion magazines
and romance novels. Don't girls read Sports Illustrated? Oh
well. Till next time.
End Journal Entry.
************
"Well?" Laurie asked the slender, ethereally pretty woman
seated across the kitchen table from her.
The woman smiled. "If you wanted to know that badly, Laurel,
you should not have taken an oath sacred to the Goddess not to
peak." she chided gently.
Laurie grimaced. "She needed the outlet so much, Bronwyn. She
won't talk to me and she doesn't have anyone else. She would
not have started the journal if I had not promised not to
look."
"You know that asking me to do your peaking for you is
precisely the type of half truth that got you into this
trouble to begin with. However, in this case, I must agree
with you. She needs to express her feelings and you need know
how she is feeling." Bronwyn's faintly blue eyes became
unfocused, then once again cleared. She looked at Laurie,
surprise arching her brows. "Did you use the healing arts to
ease her menses, Laurel?"
Laurie's eyes went wide and then she blushed at having been
caught. "Yes, High Priestess. She was in such discomfort and
I felt so guilty at that moment. When I massaged her, I took
just a bit of her pain into myself - not much," she hastened
to add in self justification, "Just enough that she could drop
off to sleep.
"Yes, well, as you are aware, we don't normally do that for a
new Sister's First Flow, but I can understand your dilemma. I
will not gainsay your decision, Laurel. You must do as you
think best in this sadly unique Transformation Transition.
However, that is not the point. What is important is that
your daughter sensed the use of the power. She speculated
that you did something magical and even described it quite
accurately. I don't think I have ever heard of a novice
Sister being quite so sensitive or aware of the Goddess power
so soon after Transformation before."
"I am not surprised, Bronwyn. Everything has pointed to her
being very special, and very powerful. Stubble it! What did I
do incorrectly? Why is she fighting this so hard? How can
she possibly want to ... to go back?" Tears welled in Laurie's
eyes.
"Laurel." Bronwyn's voice was velvet steel. "You did nothing
wrong. The Sisterhood has reviewed the Transformation and
everything leading up to it. We have found nothing wrong.
Your child is, as you said, unique and very special.
Unfortunately, this is sometimes what happens when you deal
with unique cases. You cannot anticipate things that are
outside your experiences. So, while that makes her very
important to us because of the power she possesses, some other
facet that makes her unique is likely working against us."
Laurie's tension eased under her friend's soothing approval.
"You are sure?" she asked tremulously. At Bronwyn's emphatic
nod, she sighed, and relaxed a bit more. "You know? I do
think I know at least one of the problems. Initially
pretending that the Transformation was a fanciful lark on my
part was a mistake. I know that it worked with me when my
Mother Transformed me. I just saw the entire thing as a great
adventure. However, that ploy failed miserably with my own
daughter. At the time, she saw my lighthearted attitude as a
cruel, mean-spirited thing. She continues to think of it that
way."
"Would you have denied her the re-Transformation back to her
male identity had she requested it before you completed the
final spell? The spell that now requires her to effect her own
change back to Jack?" Bronwyn's tone was one of only mild
interest, as if she already knew the answer.
Laurie's eyes went wide in outraged shock. "Of course NOT!
Not if she had been that repulsed by the change, or if she had
maintained sufficient self control in the face of her new
feminine needs and responses to request the re-Transformation.
That would have been proof that Jack's masculine self image
was simply too strongly ingrained for her to have any success
making the adjustments she would need to master the Power
herself. That *would* have been cruel because without her own
Power, my spell would then have been both permanent and
irreversible."
"Then your only error was one that the Sisterhood approved -
the treating of the initial Transformation period in a fun and
playful manner. We *expected* it to be a fun experience for
her because that's how it was for all of us. If you will
recall, *that* was why we chose the Scully identity for the
first stage of the Transformation - because everything we knew
about your son indicated that he would have fun "being" her.
Unfortunately, although Jack reacted as we expected when you
put the question for "more time" to her, she did not react as
we anticipated when she was faced the totality of what she had
inadvertently agreed to accept. The real sadness of this is
that as we prepare for a probable conflict in which we will
desperately need the power she could wield, we will likely not
be able to count upon having it. *BUT*, I will say this
again, *none* of that is your fault."
A teary smile curved Laurie's lips. "I understand, High
Priestess. Thank you for telling me that. I have felt very .
. . inadequate of late."
"Nonsense. Nothing about you is in any way inadequate."
Bronwyn flicked the word away with a careless gesture of her
hands. "One other thing, Laurel. Jack is in the journal,
too, but in the third person. I find that very positive. She
is trying to acclimate. She also berates his ..... desertion
of her during her recent trial." A wickedly mirthful grin lit
Bronwyn's face showing how beautiful she was. "My, my, my.
She does have quite an imagination." Mirth twinkled in
Bronwyn's eyes. "She is discussing what her lessons may
require of her. Very inventive, and at least partially
accurate."
"On another matter," Bronwyn continued quickly, "she did not
believe you when you told her about the ineffectiveness of
birth control. I even infer that she took it just the other
way, that you were telling her she could stop conception."
Laurie's eyes closed on her misery. "Goddess, what a mess.
In that case, we are going to have to keep her on a very short
leash until she is advanced enough to be taught the
Transformation spell. It is almost impossible for one of us
*not* to think positively about conception when we are making
love with a man we care about. That is why we usually stick
to relationships with other Sisters. Otherwise we would be
continuously pregnant."
"Sadly true. Although, being with child is a lovely feeling.
It is too bad that as members of the Sisterhood, we tend to
link making love and making babies very closely in our minds
and spirits."
"At least *you* can avoid that by maintaining some separation
when you are making love with a man. Some of us can't."
Laurie sulked.
"True, which is probably a facet of your healing gifts.
Still, keeping that mental shield means that the act of making
love is not nearly as fulfilling as it should be." Bronwyn
frowned a bit before continuing. "Anything else?"
Laurie hesitated, but decided to press on. "Yes, while we are
on the subject of sex. Jacqui's drives are already very
strong. She masturbates every night. My own sex drive
following Transformation was very demanding and I think hers
will be even stronger. Like most new Sisters, I had my Mother
to help me cope with the hunger until I was ready to deal with
men. She never took, Bronwyn, only gave until I was ready to
return the gift. Jacqui, however, has not forgiven me and she
won't want that kind of relationship with me. It would be
abusive of me even to try right now, but we can't let her fall
prey to her body's needs and end up getting pregnant too soon.
I don't want to find out the hard way she was serious in her
threat. If she wants to be a man again that badly, I have to
help her, but you are well aware of what terminating a fetus
would mean."
"Yes, I know. You really believe that is a possibility?" At
Laurie's shaky nod, Bronwyn frowned thoughtfully. "Hmmm, Yes,
I see you do. All right, I agree we need to provide her with
an outlet. Someone to whom she can relate and to whom she
can confide her little troubles would also be useful. She
starts school when? In a fortnight? All right, I will
arrange for her to meet someone at school who will provide her
with friendship, advice and sexual relief."
"A member of the Sisterhood?" Laurie asked. At Bronwyn's
emphatic nod, Laurie sighed resignedly, wishing she could be
the one to share that first time and those other things with
her daughter. That was just another of her little Mother's
dreams that had to be foresworn for the good of her daughter.
"Please, Bronwyn, make sure it is someone special for her.
Please."
The answering smile was both gently reassuring and wickedly
feline. "Why, Laurel." The Power glowed about Bronwyn and
her form blurred momentarily. The glow died just as suddenly,
and where Bronwyn had been but an instant before, sat a
teenaged girl - a shorter, blonder and very well developed
teenaged girl. The face and body were pure adolescent male
wet dream brought to life, but the smile was still Bronwyn's.
"I think your daughter is still viewing other women through
your son's libido, darling. I believe this form is
sufficiently lacking in subtlety to gain her and *his*
attention."
Shocked, Laurie gasped. "You? You are going to go to school
and watch over Jacqui??"
"Laurel, darling. I am going to do *much* more than just
watch. I am going to wear her out, and then, I will give her
a little, less-than-sisterly guidance about the pitfalls and
dangers of being a beautiful woman in man's world. Hopefully,
I will be in a position to control her first contacts with men
and keep her out of too much trouble. It will also give me a
chance to figure out how or if we can soften her attitude
toward the Transformation. If she is going to be as powerful
as we both think she can be, we will need her willing
assistance in the coming struggle." Anticipation, then hunger
gleamed in her lovely eyes. "Now, since your daughter is
enjoying her little soak, how about you and I give the new
equipment," she gave her newly expansive bosom a little shimmy
that made one of Laurie's mouths dry and the other very wet,
"a test drive?" She held out her hand to Laurie who happily
took it in hers and then led the way to her bedroom.
Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan
Journal Entry: 25 days A. T.
Mum's own monthly visitor arrived today. From the look of
her, that arrival was not gentle, either. I wonder that I
never noticed how difficult these times are for her before
this. Takes one to know one? I guess.
I really wanted to be glad she was feeling so vile. I wanted
to enjoy the fact that she was suffering, just like I had
suffered because of what she had done to me. I *really*
wanted to stand outside her door and yell something like
"Payback is hell, isn't it?".
Only, I couldn't. I hated that she did not feel well. Jack
is a bit upset with me for going soft on him, but I can't help
it. Besides, his opinion doesn't count, the coward. I
wouldn't wish that feeling on anyone.
And besides, she still is my Mum.
Anyway, I went into her room tonight and did the same things
for her that she did for me - herbal tea and a back rub. She
has nice skin - really soft and nice to touch. Is my skin like
that now? She is so much lighter in skin color than I am.
Anyway, it seemed to help. She went to sleep soon after I
started. Hope she feels better tomorrow. I don't feel so
good myself just now. I wonder if I am going to be irregular
about these things. I feel like I am about to have another
period, myself. Yuck.
End Journal Entry.
*************
"Hello?" the calm voice came over the phone line.
"Bronwyn? This is Laurie. You will not believe this."
Laurie's voice was a flood of excited babbling.
"Calm down, Laurel. Tell me what's wrong!"
Laurie took a deep breath and forced herself to speak slowly.
"Nothing is wrong, Bronnie. It's amazing, but nothing bad. I
started my monthly last night and Jacqui helped me."
"Oh? So she is softening toward you?"
"No, no... I mean, well, maybe, but that is not what I mean.
She *helped* me, like I did her. She used magic to share my
discomfort and reduced the intensity of it so I could fall
sleep. I fell asleep before I could stop myself. I think she
did that, too."
"Now, Laurel. You know she can't possibly do that without
training."
"Bronwyn, you are the High Priestess and the most powerful of
us all, but I am the Chief Healer. I know the feel of a
healer's touch on me. I did not do it. You know as well as I
that the healing art only works on others. Somehow, she
learned by feeling me do it to her and she did it for me
without realizing what she did. I know the signs and this
morning, she was suffering from post healing fatigue symptoms.
She had shared my cramps and had not slept well because of
them."
"Incredible. So advanced for one yet untrained. We will have
to watch her even more carefully. I've never heard of a
novice learning independently like that, but she evidently
has."
"Do you know how long I had to work with my own Mother before
I could begin to match what she unthinkingly accomplished last
night?" Laurie interjected, somewhat indignantly.
"Now there's a scary thought, my dear. If the mere act of
using magic on her in some way "teaches" her enough to begin
using it herself, then we must be extremely cautious what
magic she is exposed to and when she is exposed to it.
Goddess, but that takes many options out of our hands. Even
the mildest manipulation and influence spells are out of the
question for the time being. I don't want an untrained novice
poking about people's heads without even realizing she is
doing it."
"Bronwyn? What about the Transformation Spell? She was
definitely exposed to that magic, too. The Sisterhood could
be endangered if the entire Senior Class at her school
suddenly all turn into females."
The phone went silent for a moment. "Good point. I will have
to be sure I am there with her. It may not be a problem since
she was exposed to that spell when she was still a male and
therefore incapable of wielding the power, but until we are
sure of that, we need to be on guard against it. We can only
hope that this trick is a manifestation of her incredible
potential now that she is female. Laurel? You had better
start her training." the voice paused and then added
emphatically. "Now."
"Now??" Laurie was aghast. "But, we agreed to give her a few
months to settle in before starting to teach her any real
magic."
"That was before she taught herself. Unfortunately, she
probably does not know how she is doing it. She may not even
realize that she *is* doing it. You know as well as I the
dangers an adept faces once a healing linkage is joined. She
has to learn how to control the establishment of a link and
she has to understand the inherent risks."
"You are right, of course. I will use the remainder of my
monthly as the hook. I will start tonight before bedtime.
You realize it will be a time before she can safely do
anything on her own?"
"Healing is not the focus of my talent, but I know how
difficult it can be to master. In any case, I should be able
to block her if she does start to do something at school. I
have already arranged to be in all of her classes. By the
second day, we should be famous chums. Now, if I am going to
be spending the next few months reliving my high school years,
I have some things that require my attention first. I suspect
I will be seeing you soon, Laurel. Bye." The phone clicked
off and a dial tone began to buzz in Laurie's ear.
Laurie carefully hung up the phone. What had she done?
Obviously, her daughter was unique in the recorded memory of
the Sisterhood. Whether that would be a good thing, a neutral
thing or a bad thing, only the fullness of time would tell.
******
"So," said the tall, dark haired man seated behind the desk.
"She is of the Sisterhood, and her son is now her daughter?"
The man seated across from him looked at the spiral notebook
in his hands and then looked up to speak. "Yes, High Leader.
Our data scans of the Social Security records have shown that,
about two weeks ago, the Social Security Number of one John
David Donovan was suddenly associated with Jacqueline Daphne
Donovan. Subsequent checks of other personal records for John
Donovan are nonexistent. To date, only your special,
magically sealed records indicate such a person ever existed."
"Excellent. The Dark One is with us. For the first time in
the history of the Brotherhood, we have identified a
completely untrained Sister. We will play this game
carefully. I want a totally invisible, completely discreet
surveillance on both of the Donovan," and here the man sneered
and spat out the word, "women. We will bide our time and
strike when we have what we need to rid this planet of the
Sisterhood and their puling Goddess once and for all. Now go
and do as I ordered."
The other man made a toadying bow and all but ran from the
room. Power, thought the man still seated at his desk, was
the only thing worth having in this life. And soon, his would
be total. Thanks to the power of computers and the power of
magic.
~----------~
Continued in Part 5
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From: v34tigger@alices.com
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Subject: ASSTG/ASS [NEW] A Change of Direction Part 5/23 (Magic, TG)
Date: Sat, 12 Apr 1997 11:53:46 -0400
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A Change of Direction: An Alternative Ending to Mike
Allegretto's Change of Pace
1997 by Tigger
Based upon and derived from the situations and characters
developed by Mike Allegretto and Caitlin B. in their
collaborative story, "A Change of Pace", posted 2/16/97
on ASSTG. Written and published with the express permission
of the original authors. No archiving or redistribution of
this work is permitted without this copyright attribution
included, intact and complete, in the posting/archiving.
Archiving/publication of this author's work on any system that
requires payment in any form is prohibited by the author and
is in violation of my copyright to Chapters 7 and beyond.
The following is a work of erotic fiction. It is
intended for the entertainment of mature, legally adult
individuals living in areas where the possession and enjoyment
of such material is legal. If you are not legally an
adult, or if such material is not legal in your locale, then
you are violating a trust as well as the law. Please leave
now.
The first three characters of my reply to address are random as a
result of the vicious email spam I have been subjected to since I
began posting. Please reply to
tigger@alices.com.
A Change of Direction
Chapter 11
Jacqui pulled her car into a parking slot set aside for
seniors. Driving to school was a treat. Last year, when Jack
had gotten his driver's license, Mum had insisted that he
continue to take the bus with the rest of the students on his
street. That had put a crimp in his plans. Offering rides
home on rainy days was an easy way to get on a girl's friendly
side.
Jacqui did not plan to offer boys rides home anytime soon. As
a one-time boy, Jacqui was well aware of the dangers inherent
in that act of thoughtless kindness. Boys always tended to
misinterpret such offers from girls. Jack certainly would
have. One of them might decide she was coming on to him and
try to take advantage of the situation and her. Whatever else
might happen to her this year, boys were not on her agenda.
Not like that, they weren't.
The dashboard clock told her it was time to move or she'd be
late for class. She got out of the car, trying to remember to
move the way her Mother had been drilling her to move over the
past weeks. One thing about the one inch heeled shoes Mum had
laid out for her this morning - they cut down her stride so
she walked more like a girl. She still tended to stride out
like a boy when she forgot herself. She gathered her books
and hurried off as quickly as she could in those damn shoes.
She entered the building with the last of the stragglers and
came up short as the enormity of it all hit her once more.
She had been coming to this school all her life and now, it
was different. It seemed bigger, probably because she was now
five feet six inches tall instead of six feet and four inches.
Anxiety, fear, and uncertainty all welled up and threatened to
overwhelm her. She stopped dead in her tracks to try and
regain control.
--THUD--
Something crashed into her from behind and sent her sprawling
onto the floor. Books and pencils went everywhere.
"Hey! Why'd you stop in the middle of the floor?" Came a
young, edgy female voice from above her. "Are you all right?
You're not hurt, are you? I am really sorry, but you stopped
right in front of me and I was rushing to not be late and..."
"I am all right." Jacqui forced out, trying to stem the
flood. She pushed herself to her feet and went over to where
her things had ended up on the floor. Her assailant was right
beside her. She knelt down to start scooping up pencils as
Jacqui bent over to pick up her books.
"Hey!" came the loud stage whisper. "Unless you want to show
off those pretty panties to the boys, get down on your knees
to do that. That skirt is too short for bending over like
that."
A fiery flush rose up Jacqui's face as she quickly dropped
down and then spun around so her butt was to the wall.
"Thanks. The skirt is my Mom's idea. I haven't worn them
much, but she says it is time to learn to be more of lady."
"No problem." A grin lit the gamine face. "Hey, we have to
hurry. Who's your home room teacher?"
"Miss Merriweather."
"Hey, me, too. C'mon, I don't want detention the first day.
Not by accident anyway." This time the smile was positively
devilish, and Jacqui was quite enchanted.
Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan
31 Days A. T.
Jacqui's First Day at School. I let Mum take pictures for the
special album I know she is doing on me. All things being
what they are, it was not bad. I managed to make it through
the entire day without even *once* trying to walk into the
boy's rest room. I consider that a significant victory. I
did miss seeing urinals, though, and it did take me a couple
of minutes to figure out what that coin operated dispenser
next to the door in the girl's room was for. Well, I may need
tampons now, but I am damned if I am going to buy them at
school. I put three of them in the bottom of my purse when I
got home today.
Academics look okay. I was a little worried that my brains had
changed along with my body, but I still like math and science.
I am glad, too, because I was really looking forward to those
Advanced Placement courses in Calculus and Physics. I
probably would have screamed if I had arrived at school to
find out I was enrolled in Home Ec or Family Life. Thanks,
Mum, I needed that.
Gym was a revelation. We played around for a while with a
basketball. God, that was depressing. The ball feels
heavier, the hoop looks higher, I am a whole lot slower and my
coordination just stinks. My shots fell short and moves that
should have been graceful nearly took me off my feet because
my boobs did not want to change direction with the rest of me.
All that aside, I was still better than any of the other girls
in the class. Ms. Williams, the gym teacher who also coaches
the Girls' Basketball Team, asked me if I was going to try out
for the team this year instead of cheerleading. I don't know
what Mum will say about that, but I am considering it. I
don't really want to be a cheerleader.
Crowded into a tiny locker room with 25 girls who were
changing into or out of their gym clothes, was wild. Jack
went nuts. There he was, in the middle of your basic male
fantasy, surrounded by wall to wall, naked and near naked T&A,
and all that happened was my nipples got hard and my crotch
got wet. It will make for very nice memories tonight when the
lights go out, though. Wait for it, Jack.
It does make me wonder, a little, how other "real" girls feel
about their bodies in that kind of situation. How do they
feel about themselves and each other? I mean, guys in a
locker room are always checking each other out. Who has the
biggest penis, who has hair on their balls, who has "scored" -
things like that. I know what *I* was thinking about in that
girl's locker room and I don't think those thoughts were
shared by very many of the "real" girls in there.
Mostly, I felt really nervous. Would I make some stupidly
male remark more appropriate to a boys' locker room? I know I
turned away from the group when I buttoned my blouse. Not
because I was shy, but because I have not yet gotten the hang
of reaching for the buttons on the correct side. I don't know
how observant women are about such things, but after Mum's
intensive "Girl Basics Course", I am very conscious of such
little habits. I saw the other girls do it without any
thought at all. I did not want them to see me fumble doing it
and wonder why.
Oh, and only four of the girls were wearing skirts. I am
going to keep track. I want some pants that do not feel like
a straight jacket!
Finally, I ran into this girl, or rather, she ran into me.
Bonnie or something is her name. She is new to the area and
she is drop dead gorgeous. She had Jack's mental tongue
hanging out. She is shorter than me, with blond hair, big
blue eyes and even bigger... well, let's just say what she
possesses a wonderfully large and shapely mammary development
that owes nothing to any woman's foundation garment. Another
nice memory from the locker room that I will put to good use
later in my bed. She seems to be quite a chatterbox, but she
is also pretty nice. Once she found out I was not used to
wearing a short skirt, she stuck with me all day and gave me
helpful little hints when I needed them. She is in all my
classes.
I think I may have made a friend. That makes this whole mess
all a little less scary.
You know, I think that is why I am still upset with Mum. This
is all so darned scary. Nothing is the way it is supposed to
be. I should not be deciding whether to be a basketball
player or a cheerleader. I should be playing ball and dating
a cheerleader. Look up a couple of paragraphs. I don't even
like writing the words "my vagina" or "my pussy" on paper so I
wrote "my crotch", instead, but that does not alter the fact
that I have one - I really, truly have a vagina and
everything else that goes with that.
I am completely out of step with everything that used to be my
world.
It is like I was a blind man (ok, blind woman) and someone
came into my house and moved all my furniture around. I know
I am still home, but I keep bumping into things that aren't
quite where or what they should be. And I don't even have a
cane to wave in front of me as I walk along so I have to bang
my shins into everything.
I guess I am just afraid.
End Journal Entry
**************
"You did not tell me she was a bloody mathematical and
scientific genius, Laurel." Absolute disgust tinged every
syllable. "Do you know how hard I am going to have to work to
keep from being academically removed from all those courses I
so blithely signed up for?"
"Not your favorite things, Bronwyn?" there was a suppressed
giggle in Laurie's voice.
"No! I barely made it through geometry when I was in high
school and I swore, then and there, that I would never touch a
math book again. I see math symbols and I get hot flashes.
Don't you dare laugh, blast it!"
A coughing sound punctuated Laurie's attempt not to laugh.
Bronwyn glared at her. She had arrived earlier, wearing her
own body, for a little chat with Jacqui's Mom. "Well, you did
not ask before you offered yourself for the job. Why don't
you just eavesdrop on Jacqui's public mind during tests? She
always got straight A's. Miss enough of the questions not to
get yourselves accused of cheating, but still pass easily."
Bronwyn grimaced. "I will have to, I think. Anyway, my real
purpose for coming here as Bronwyn is to discuss a couple of
observations. First, I am beginning to question the wisdom of
her ultra-feminine wardrobe. She does not deal with it well
and I am afraid it may make her withdraw. If she doesn't
connect with the other kids in her class because she is so
self conscious, she will never develop any real female
friendships."
Laurie closed her eyes in frustration. "It was a deviation
from what my Mother did with me. She let me find my own way,
fashion wise, after she Transformed me. However, I had
already finished high school and had time to learn to deal
with all the little mannerisms and restrictions of women's
clothing. In Jacqui's case, I had my promise to help her
change back as quickly as possible to consider. I thought
having her dress very femininely, very strikingly would sort
of be like shock therapy for her. That it would get her in
the proper frame of mind about her new body much more quickly.
The alternative was to let her live in sweaters, T-shirts and
jeans at school, because she would not know anything about how
to live in women's clothing by the time school started."
"Too little time," Bronwyn mused. "She simply did not have
any time alone with herself after the Transformation."
"You will recall, Bronwyn, that the issue of timing was
discussed, somewhat heatedly. The alternative we considered
was to wait until after Jack had finished high school. I was
worried that he would not have enough experience in his female
identity to feel comfortable at school, but in the end, the
general concern about the imminence of the coming conflict won
out. We decided to Transform him as soon as possible so that
Jacqui would be ready to join us as soon as possible."
Bronwyn frowned, considering. "Well, that is 20-20 hindsight,
now. I don't know if waiting would have made things any
better. I could wish, however, that she had more time in her
Transformed situation before she had to face her new peers.
She is *very* self conscious about her looks, and she has to
*think* about even the most casual movement. We are going to
have to watch this, Laurie, and adjust her wardrobe if things
don't turn around for her." Laurie wearily nodded her
agreement. "I am not saying your decision was wrong, luv,
only that we need to be ready to respond if she continues to
be so uncomfortable or if she shows signs of withdrawing
further into herself."
Bronwyn took a sip of her drink before continuing. "My other
mission may help preclude that, too. After watching her today
in gym class, I think you need to get a basketball hoop put up
here so that Jacqui can practice. I don't think the
cheerleader thing is going to fly. She is not going to
acclimate quickly enough to be able to fit in with those young
women in that environment. I doubt she will even make the
squad, no matter what influence we may try to help her. On the
other hand, playing on the basketball team will still give her
the opportunity to interact with other girls, but in
situations that her still changing instincts can deal with
from her previous experiences as an athlete. It would also
give her something she can use to relieve stress. A couple of
times today she got so wired I gave her a little mental nudge
to relax her."
Laurie sighed. "Okay. When the Sisterhood discussed the
specifics of her Transformation, we decided that it would be
best to give her a clean break with that part of her life.
That was the reason we opted for the cheerleading thing, to
fill in the empty spot in her life and to give her a social
standing with the other girls at the school."
Bronwyn nodded. "I remember, but at the time, we could not
have anticipated the situation we are forced to deal with now.
She needs something familiar to give her back some mental
balance, and to help center her."
Laurie agreed and was about to say more when Jacqui slipped
into the room. She was obviously fresh from her bath, and
wore her robe wrapped about her nightgown. A towel turban
wrapped around her hair threatened to come loose. Laurie
stood and came over to adjust it for her daughter. "Mum? I
am going to go up to bed, now. Long first day at school. I
am bushed."
"All right, darling. Before you go, I would like you to meet
Ms. Bronwyn Llewellyn. She is an old college friend of mine
who just moved to the area." Jacqui offered her hand to
Bronwyn the way her Mother had prescribed when meeting another
woman and then smiled a greeting.
"Pleased to meet you, Jacqui. I hope I can be your friend,
too."
A strange look fluttered across Jacqui's face and she stared
at Bronwyn for a moment longer than politeness dictated before
smiling again. "I can always use another friend. Well, I
need some sleep." She leaned over and gave Laurie a pecking
kiss on the cheek. "Night, Mum. Sleep well."
She was out the door before a stunned Laurie could respond.
"Laurel, what is it? What is the matter?"
Tears were streaming down Laurie's eyes. "That was the first
time she has kissed me. Since the moment of her
Transformation, Jacqui has never kissed me and she did it just
now because she had an audience, not because she still loves
me or wanted to kiss me."
Bronwyn stood to hold her longtime friend. "I think you are
wrong. I think she kissed you because I was here to distract
her and she forgot she wants to be angry with you. In that
moment, her real feelings came out. She still loves you,
Laurel. She has come a long way in the last few weeks."
"Goddess, I hope you are right." So do I, Bronwyn thought as
she held Laurie. So do I.
Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan
32 A. T.
Mom put up a backboard and hoop for me. I got home from
school just as the workmen were leaving. They even painted
out a regulation half-court onto the pavement around the
basket. Mum offered to play me a game of one-on-one, telling
me that since she'd been a girl longer than I had, she would
eat my lunch because I was still so "ungraceful".
I murdered her, but it was a gentle death.
I wonder why she did it?
End Journal Entry
Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan
42 days A. T.
My period started again today.
_DAMMIT_!
End Journal Entry
Continued in Part 6
I cannot email from this account, but I do verify
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From 87vtigger@alices.com Sat Apr 12 11:58:41 1997
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From: 87vtigger@alices.com
Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories,alt.sex.stories.tg
Subject: ASSTG/ASS [NEW] A Change in Direction 6/23 (Magic, TG)
Date: Sat, 12 Apr 1997 11:58:41 -0400
Organization: House at Pooh Corner
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A Change of Direction: An Alternative Ending to Mike
Allegretto's Change of Pace
1997 by Tigger
Based upon and derived from the situations and characters
developed by Mike Allegretto and Caitlin B. in their
collaborative story, "A Change of Pace", posted 2/16/97
on ASSTG. Written and published with the express permission
of the original authors. No archiving or redistribution of
this work is permitted without this copyright attribution
included, intact and complete, in the posting/archiving.
Archiving/publication of this author's work on any system that
requires payment in any form is prohibited by the author and
is in violation of my copyright to Chapters 7 and beyond.
The following is a work of erotic fiction. It is
intended for the entertainment of mature, legally adult
individuals living in areas where the possession and enjoyment
of such material is legal. If you are not legally an
adult, or if such material is not legal in your locale, then
you are violating a trust as well as the law. Please leave
now.
The first three characters of my reply to address are random as a
result of the vicious email spam I have been subjected to since I
began posting. Please reply to
tigger@alices.com.
A Change in Direction
Chapter 12
Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan
48 days A. T.
First round of school tests are scheduled for next week and
Bonnie is really worried about them. Mum said she could stay
over at our house this weekend so we can study together and I
can help her get ready for them. She says it will be like a
mini-slumber party. Slumber party? What do I do at a slumber
party?
It may be my imagination, but I think Bonnie has become a
little quieter, a little less chattery of late. I like the
change.
Anyway, she is going to sleep over from Friday night till
Monday morning. She is going to share *my* bed. Jack is
going crazy. Here, we are going to be in same bed with this
gorgeous, sexy and voluptuous woman and we can't do anything
about it.
Well, I guess there are things that we could do. I remember
that magazine that made the rounds last year in the locker
room. It showed two women getting it on together without
guys.
Yeah. I think that could be pretty nice, now that I remember
that. So, am I (Jacqui) a lesbian or is Jack still straight?
I don't think I want to know. Of course, if I ever slip up
and make it with a guy, then the same question gets asked the
other way around, doesn't it?
Oops. Jack just went into his hidey-hole, again. Chicken!
She sure is cuddly-looking. Even if nothing else happens, it
will be nice to snuggle up against her.
End Journal Entry.
***********
"Mum?" Laurie looked up from her coffee and morning paper to
look at her daughter. She fought to keep the hope out of her
eyes, and waited for her daughter to respond now that she had
her Mother's attention. "What *do* girls do at slumber
parties?"
"Well, darling, I can't really say. I never had one. The
first time I associated with girls as a girl was after I went
to college. The closest I can come is when we used to stay up
late in the dorm. Besides, I thought you were going to study.
What did you do when you have had friends over here for the
night?"
"Talked about girls, Mum." The tone was disgusted and Laurie
fought back a grin, knowing that it would damage their slowly
improving rapport.
"As I recall, we talked about boys. It was one way I learned
some of the things birth-girls already knew about them. I
just knew about the boy side of things and how boys felt. It
was nice to learn the girl side of things before I had to deal
with a boy on my own."
"Well, I don't think that is in the cards for me, Mum." Jacqui
thought of the boys who had used to be Jack's friends and how
they had treated her since school had started. Then she
thought of Bonnie. "I may be a girl now, but I am still
attracted to girls."
"I understand, luv. I did not opt to have my personality and
mind set changed during my Transformation, either. But the
power of sex is great and you may find yourself changing your
mind in time. As for being attracted to girls, that is to be
expected, and I see nothing wrong with it. Girls are very
nice." An altogether predatory and sexy grin lit her Mother's
face. "Women are even nicer."
"Mother!" Jacqui squawked. "You??!?" The thought of her
Mother having sex was one thing, but...
"Yes, Jacqui. I do enjoy sex and I enjoy it with both men and
other women. In fact, during those first months after my
Transformation, I had an exclusive, monogamous relationship
with another woman. It was wonderful. I hope you find
someone just as wonderful." Her voice dropped off as the
disappointment of not being that "someone" for her daughter
clawed at her, again. Clearing her throat, she continued.
"But that is up to you in the fullness of time. To answer your
earlier question, there are many things you can do - watch
television, eat, talk or sleep. For goodness sake, Jacqui,
stop worrying about what "girls" do. Try enjoying yourself.
This is not supposed to be punishment. Do what feels like fun
when you are with other girls. You might be surprised at the
things you learn and the things you like."
A tear glistened a single track down Jacqui's cheek. She
batted at it furiously, mentally damning the hormones that
kept her emotions so close to the surface. "Okay, Mum. I will
try, but it is just so hard. School is okay, so long as I
stick to the class work. Besides Bonnie, I don't know how to
talk to the girls or the guys anymore. "Hey, babe, wanna go
out for a burger?" doesn't seem to be right somehow, and the
guys talk around me or at me so much I could scream. I don't
fit in anywhere except in the classroom. I am becoming very
popular as a study partner or lab partner." She grimaced at
that.
"Stop trying so hard." Laurie repeated slowly. "You have a
friend who you like and who likes you. You have people who
are willing to accept you on at least an academic level and
that is something you can build on. And, I seem to see a real
improvement in your shooting."
Jacqui's hands moved to her bosom and cupped herself with a
smirk. "I am learning how not to fall when these keep going
one way when my feet go another, and I have learned my new
range. I am not strong enough for a twenty footer anymore,
but I am getting the hang of a ten-to-fifteen footer again. I
guess I am going to be a guard and not a power forward. If I
make the team."
"You will. I think you have made a lot of progress, dear.
Really. Your healing lessons are going very well, too. You
have picked it up much faster than I did. So, just take it
easy, okay? Look, if you are worried about tonight, just let,
what is her name, Bonnie? Let Bonnie take the lead." Taking a
huge chance, Laurie stood and went over to stand behind her
daughter. She squeezed the girl's shoulders comfortingly and
leaned over to whisper into her ear. "Just have fun."
Jacqui sighed and then leaned her head back into her Mother's
neck. Gripping her mother's hands in her own, she smiled
wanly. "I will try, Mom. I will try." Speaking of fun
reminded Jacqui of something. "Mom? Speaking of fun. . .
.girls play chess, don't they?" The tone was wistfully
hopeful.
"Last time I checked, dear." Laurie laughed. "Why?"
"Well, one of the things you . . . . put into storage for Jack
was my chess set. I could still play on the computer, but I
liked moving and handling the chessmen when I played."
Laurie smiled gently. "You were the school district champion
last year, weren't you?"
A frown shuttered Jacqui's eyes and her voice lost its
vibrancy. "Jack won the district championship, but Jack is no
longer with us. I have not had the courage to go and see
whose name is engraved on the trophy in the school display
case."
Hurting for her child, Laurie embraced Jacqui and felt her
daughter lean harder into her. "Your name, luv. Jacqueline
Donovan. You still won the championship, Jacqui. I never
intended this Transformation to diminish you, sweetheart.
Quite the opposite, in fact. Every honor you ever won that I
could somehow shift to your new life is still yours. Honest."
Jacqui just stood there, for a long, long time, letting
herself bask in her Mother's comforting embrace. She had
missed it so much. Finally, she spoke, her voice just a
little husky with emotion. "So, uhhh, if I get a new chess
set, you won't put it into cold storage, too?"
Another little hug. "No, love. In fact, I will go looking
for one while you entertain your guest. My special treat,
okay?"
"Thanks, Mom." Her voice cracked that time. Embarrassed by
the emotions she could not seem to control, Jacqui gave her
Mother a little kiss on the cheek, and then all but ran from
the room.
*************
Bonnie rode home from school that night in Jacqui's car. A
picture of Jack bringing such a hot looking girl home to Mom
brought a bit of a smile to Jacqui's face. Dinner was a
jovial occasion, with Bonnie keeping the conversation lively
and humorous. Her presence did a lot to ease the remaining
tension between mother and Transformed daughter. The three of
them made quick work of the after dinner clean up, but when
Jacqui suggested they start studying, Bonnie rebelled.
"Do we have to start tonight? Can't we watch some TV, or go
for a walk, or *something*? Isn't tomorrow soon enough for
you to crack the whip over my poor head?"
Jacqui pretended to consider. "I don't know." she said
speculatively. "Do you really think there is enough time this
weekend if we don't get on it right away?"
Bonnie's eyes went wide. Playfully, she picked up the
decorative pillow from the couch she was seated on and pitched
it at Jacqui's head. "BITCH!!" she spluttered, before falling
into a peel of giggles. "No, I don't think we need to work
twenty four hours a day. Besides, all work and no play makes
Jacqui a very dull girl and will make Bonnie crazy."
Settling the pillow down beside her and taking a very
dignified pose, Jacqui sniffed. "Very well. What *do* you
want to do, then?"
"I know, you can show me around the house and then we can go
up to your room and play dress-up. I want to play with your
hair and makeup. You never wear any and I have been itching
to see some on you."
Laurie, seated beside Bonnie on the couch, tried to look only
mildly interested as Jacqui dealt with Bonnie's idea.
Actually, this was a key aspect of the agenda that she and
Bronwyn had worked up for this weekend. Thus far, Jacqui had
studiously ignored the array of cosmetics that Laurie had left
for her the night after the Transformation. This lesson was
one that Jacqui needed, but they had agreed that they would
not press it if she resisted strenuously. But Laurie could
not help hoping.
Stunned by the idea, Jacqui had to resist refusing out of
hand. Bonnie was her friend, and so far, her only friend.
She did not want to offend her by declining to do something
she wanted to do, but still - to wear makeup? Like a girl?
But you are a girl, a niggling thought taunted. Swallowing,
she looked nervously at Bonnie. "You. . . ummm . think I
really need to wear makeup, Bonnie?"
Bronwyn/Bonnie almost cheered, but instead let a very feminine
smile light up her face. "Darling, nobody *needs* makeup.
You *need* food. You *need* air and water. Cosmetics are
among the little extras that make life special. They make you
look good and that makes you feel good." Bonnie decided to
sink the hook by letting disappointment and a touch of hurt
creep into her voice. "But, if you don't want to. . ."
Jacqui fell on the bait and took it down in one gulp. "No, no.
It sounds like. . ." She swallowed again and licked her dry
lips, "umm, fun." Shock sent icy chills down her body as she
realized what she had just agreed to do with Bonnie. Bonnie
and her Mother just sat there looking at her, waiting for her
to do. . . what? Finally to fill in the gap in conversation,
Jacqui forced a smile and asked. "So, Bonnie. What do you want
to see first? I know. I will show you my library. Yes, that
is perfect."
Surprised by that statement, Laurie forgot her decision to
remain silent and asked "Your library, Jacqui? What is so
perfect about starting in your library?"
The smile on her daughter's face became blinding as she stood
up and hauled her friend to her feet. "So Bonnie will know
the place of my retribution tomorrow if she gets too carried
away with this make-over plan of hers. Come along, Bonnie,
let's go see my whips and chains. See you, Mum."
Bronwyn managed to shoot a look of triumph at Laurie before
she had to stagger after Jacqui to keep from falling as she
was dragged from the room bodily. Laurie smiled softly at the
little victory. She hoped it would work and that Jacqui would
start experimenting a little with her looks on her own.
Hopefully, she would start taking a little feminine pride in
her appearance. Maybe, just maybe, tomorrow, she'd see her
daughter in make up for the first time since that abortive
trip to the beautician.
A couple of hours later, Jacqui was sitting in front of her
vanity mirror, staring at herself and trying to sort out all
the feelings that were assailing her. Confusion was a large
part of it, but there were also sizable pieces of pride and
even arousal in the mix, too. Just to make sure she was not
dreaming, she closed her eyes and pinched herself hard.
Nothing changed when she reopened her eyes.
The woman looking back from her mirror was someone Jacqui did
not know. The hair she had taken to wearing in a ponytail
(because it was easy), had been teased into lion-mane
fullness. It also seemed to change the shape of her head
completely. Her face was different, too. The colors that
Bonnie had chosen from that dizzying array of bottles and pots
were very subtle, yet very effective. Her eyes seemed larger
and more doe-like; her cheeks seemed higher and more shapely;
her lips seemed fuller and more pouty.
That was not all. She was wearing a very silky, shorty
nightgown that Bonnie had found in a bag of clothes from that
marathon shopping trip. Jacqui had hidden that bag in the
bottom of her bottom armoire drawer so she would not have to
look at it, but Bonnie had found it mere moments after they
had entered Jacqui's room. Once she'd seen it, nothing else
in Jacqui's entire wardrobe had been satisfactory. Lord,
Jacqui thought, I can see my nipples puckering through this
thing.
Her fingernails were again adorned with polish. This time the
color was one more suited to Jacqui's dark gypsy coloring than
the one she had worn initially as Scully's twin. Her toenails
had been painted to match and on her feet were the two and a
half inch tall high heeled mules she had tried to talk her
Mother out of buying when they'd gone to the shoe store.
"Well?!?" Bonnie's tone was impatient, with just a touch of
anxiety thrown in for effect. "What do you think?" Bronwyn
let her voice become wheedling.
Jacqui opened her mouth to answer, but could find no words.
Her head swivelled to look at Bonnie then back to the mirror
before finally setting on her friend. "I don't know what to
think. I did not know I could look this way. I'm...." she
struggled to force out the word. "Goodness, Bonnie, I am
pretty."
Bonnie snorted. "Pretty, hell, girl. You are beautiful."
"Sexy as hell" was Jack's uninvited input. Jacqui ordered him
back into his cave. She had enough trouble on her hands.
"Heck, a little work and you would have the boys lining up to
take you out."
That remark got just the negative response the Bronwyn had
expected. "Boys are not a big thing in my life, Bonnie. I
have things to work out before I consider going that way."
Bonnie shrugged. "Whatever. Boys do have their uses,
especially if you train them well. Still, you still ought to
make the most of your looks because the other girls will
notice. I don't understand how you can have all this
wonderful stuff and not use it. And that bloody ponytail.
Let me tell you, Jacqui, if I see that thing again I am going
to do something violent to your hair."
Jacqui's voice became a whisper. "One reason I don't use it
is because I don't know how. Mom bought this stuff, not me.
This, " and she swept a hand over the top of the cosmetics,
"is not something I would purchase. I just don't see myself
that way."
"Well, you ought to, girl. And how can you not know how to
use makeup? Your Mom seemed to wear hers well enough. Really
subtle work - only another woman would even see what she had
done. If she bought this, why didn't she teach you how to do
it?"
Jacqui looked away. "Ummm, well, my Mom and I are not getting
along just now."
"Huh!" was Bonnie's disbelieving response. "The woman I saw
tonight thinks you put the stars in the sky. I like your
Mom."
Suddenly, Jacqui needed to talk to someone, needed to air her
feelings, at least a little. Wasn't that what friends were
for? Carefully, she chose her words and asked, "What if I told
you she took something from me, maybe forever. Something I
never thought I could lose because it was everything I thought
I wanted out of life. She simply took it from me, without
warning, and then thought I should be grateful."
Bronwyn listened to the emotion as much as the words. She
heard the hurt, the lingering sense of betrayal. She paused
as if to consider Jacqui's words. "Sounds like a man." she
said, deliberately misunderstanding, "Is that why you aren't
into boys, because you have a man you are in love with?"
"No. Nothing like that. More like a dream. What I wanted to
do with my life. Where I would go to school. Something like
that, anyway." She sighed.
Bonnie pursed her lips. "Well, I don't know, girlfriend. Off
hand, and without knowing the whole story, I would say your
Mom probably thought she was doing the best she could for you.
I don't know much about her, but if that was not love and
pride I saw in her eyes at dinner, I completely misread her.
Don't you love her?" The infinitely costly question was out
in the open. Bronwyn crossed her mental fingers for her dear
friend.
"So much it is killing me to think she could do this to me,
change me into a wo... I mean, change my entire life without
so much as a "by your leave" or honest warning."
"Do you think she loves you?" Another big question floated
down on to the table.
"Now. I think she does now. I thought she did before, but
then she did this. And all I can wonder is what wasn't good
enough about me before?"
"Jacqui, you are working very hard not to tell me explicitly
what your Mom did. What I do think is that she loves you and
you love her, and you are both hurting. I think you should
try to believe that she did whatever "it" was, because she
honestly believed that it was the best thing she could do for
you. If you try that, and you find you cannot believe it,
then maybe you have to leave. You are almost eighteen. You
can leave after you graduate from school."
"If I do that, I can never regain what I lost."
"Can your Mother undo what she has done?"
"She says she can't. After seeing how miserable we have both
been, I think I even believe her, but she says she has the
means to help me undo it. Eventually."
"It sounds to me as if she made a mistake, Jacqui, one based
in love, but a mistake none-the-less. Do you think she is
unwilling to help you achieve this goal of yours now?"
"No." Jacqui sighed. "She is not unwilling. Disappointed,
but she will help me."
"Then if I were you, I would try to forgive her and get on
with your life and what you must do. Love is a very precious
commodity in this life, luv. I would not throw any of it away
if I were you."
Tears cascaded down Jacqui's face, cutting mascara-black
rivers through the rest of her makeup. Sobbing, she let
Bonnie take her in her arms and lead her to the bed, where she
cried herself to sleep in the comfort of her friend's arms.
Continued in Part 7
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