about treating women as human beings rather than objects to be traded like 
baseball cards."
        "In other words, you want to be seen cutting in on his option."
        "Ouch! I deserved that."
        "You certainly did. I'm not used to being used as a bargaining chip in 
somebody's game of 'Mine's-Longer-Than-Yours'."
        "You're quite correct. I'm sorry. Shall I leave?"
        "No, you may as well stick around and try to amuse me, seeing as how 
you've driven off everyone else I was talking to...."
        "I have? Oh, shit! Now I really AM sorry!"
        "Meaning you weren't before?"
        "Nope, I wasn't. But it seemed the thing to say at the time."
        "Ah, so you're admitting you're as scummy as he is!"
        "Of course. Worse, even."
        "Then why come here and annoy me?"
        "So he can't. Do I need another reason?"
        "I suppose not. Do you do this sort of thing often?"
        "Honestly, or would you prefer a believable lie?"
        "You haven't managed a believable lie yet, so let's try the truth."
        "O-kay. I've never done this sort of thing before."
        "Ugh! Stick to the lies."
        "Suit yourself. Er...'Once in a while, just to get his dander up. I 
can't imagine why you're so miffed; all the other girls seem to love it!'"
        "Better. I like the English accent."
        "Suits me, does it?"
        "No, but it's funnier than anything else you've said."
        "Ah. Well. May I try another truth, at the risk of more ridicule?"
        "You can certainly try."
        "You are unquestionably the most witty and intelligent young woman 
with whom I've spoken intimately in a very long time."
        "Why, thank you, sir! How very kind."
        "You believed me?"
        "It's easier when you're paying me a compliment. Thank you."
        "You're welcome. You realize, of course, that it's now your turn to 
compliment me on something or another, however trifling."
        "Must I?"
        "It's only polite."
        "Ah, well. I...I admire your candor."
        "Thank you."
        "And I think you're amazingly sexy."
        "....I beg your pardon?"
        "I said, I think you're amazingly sexy. You've been undressing me with 
your eyes ever since you sat down here, and you're radiating so many 
pheromones I'm about to come all over the inside of my skirt."
        "Ah, now who's lying?"
        "Well, actually the 'coming in the skirt' part WAS a bit of hyperbole, 
but I really do think you're kinda cute. Can you open beer bottles with those 
two front teeth?"
        "Well....yes, actually."
        "You're kidding!"
        "No, really! I don't do it anymore, though; I'm afraid I'll break a 
tooth."
        "That would be too bad, wouldn't it? The dentist would have a terrible 
time matching that particular shade...."
        "Ouch again! You do enjoy bastinado, don't you?"
        "Only with the right man. By the way, I'm Blitz."
        "I'm the Bandit. Pleased to meet you."

March 1983

        "What do you think?" The Bandit switched off the tape, and looked at 
Zero and the Sloth carefully. They looked at one another silently, and the 
Bandit chewed on his lower lip anxiously as he waited for their answer.
        Finally, Zero nodded. "I honestly do like it."
        "Me, too," the Sloth said. He grinned widely. "Lots. How'd you do it?"
        "It wasn't easy," the Bandit said with a relieved smile. "I created a 
bunch of tape loops of drum parts from records, where the drums are all by 
themselves, y'know? Then I played the loops over and over onto a final master 
tape, and spliced everything together to make one big drum part that we can 
play back." He patted the tape machine fondly. "With the foot control, I can 
speed it up or slow it down to follow what we're doing, and even fade it out 
for parts where we don't need drums!"
        "How long did it take you?" 
        "Oh, God, I started on it the day we decided the machine wasn't going 
to do it, I guess. It took me six weeks just to get the loops right!"
        "Well, I hope you made a safety copy, because I'll be real upset if we 
lose it!" The Sloth shook his head in amazement. "A drum tape! What a concept! 
You didn't make that up yourself, did you?" 
        "Of course not," the Bandit grinned. "But that's what being a Bandit's 
all about, right?" He dug into his pocket and pulled out two cassettes. "Here 
are copies of the loops. You can paractice with them, and write down whatever 
changes you think they need. Then we can do some serious rehearsing, in time 
for the Spring Fling. Wait'll Starch hears this! He'll shit!"
        "Great stuff, Bandit. Later!" Zero pocketed the tape and headed off 
down the hall. The Sloth nodded assent as he shambled out of the room. The 
Bandit was grinning like an idiot as he switched off the tape deck and 
carefully packed the precious tape reel away. Never mess with the Bandit, 
Starch, he thought gleefully. 
        He pulled on his jacket, locked his room behind him, and stepped down 
the hall and out the front doors into the light, misting rain. It wasn't the 
sort of rain that got you really soaked; even with the leisurely walk across 
the campus, he was barely damp by the time he reached the Western Habitat, a 
virtual mirror image of the Eastern Habitat where he and his friends lived.
        He showed his card to the door guard, was let inside, and strode up 
the two flights of stairs and down the hall to the third door on the left. He 
knocked softly.
        "Who is it?"
        "The Bandit."
        "Oh, hi!" The door flew open, and Blitz welcomed her visitor with a 
hug and kiss. "How'd it go?"
        "Fantastic. They think we'll be able to use the loops with no trouble 
at all. Am I a genius, or what?"
        "Well, you picked me," Blitz laughed, pulling him down beside her on 
the bed and kissing him soundly.
        "True enough," he whispered, caressing her ribcage.
        "I talked to Twink today," Blitz said without preamble.
        "Oh!" He drew away from her, suddenly uncomfortable. "What about?"
        "About you, mostly." Blitz looked at him seriously. "She really loves 
you a lot, Bandit. More than I do. More than I ever could, probably."
        "Yeah, well." The Bandit looked down at the floor. "She deserves 
better than me. I hope this Paladin guy takes good care of her...."
        "Apparently he does," she smiled. "She says she would've had a hard 
time with the fact that we were seeing each other, if it weren't for how she 
was dividing her time between you and the Paladin. I like her, Bandit; she's 
not very sharp, but she's got a good heart, and people like that are hard to 
come by. Since she and I both have friends in the DAS, we're probably going to 
end up being pretty good friends, I think."
        "Really?" The Bandit smiled widely. "That's wonderful! Dammit, Blitz, 
I don't know why I didn't introduce the two of you earlier! You'd be perfect 
for her; she needs to spend time with someone who doesn't let herself be 
pushed around!"
        "True," Blitz said. "Of course, you know damn well why you didn't 
introduce us; one look at me with you and she'd have started bawling."
        "You're probably right," the Bandit sighed. 
        "Not that meeting me without you around was any easier," Blitz said 
with a wry look. "I had to hold a hanky over her nose and get her to blow."
        "Thanks," the Bandit muttered. "Just what I wanted to hear...."
        "Oh, come on, Bandit!" Blitz hugged him hard. "It's okay. We've come 
to an understanding. And that means I don't have to worry any longer about 
doing something like this." And with that, she began to stroke the crotch of 
the Bandit's pants gently. He kissed her fiercely and rolled her over onto the 
bed, himself on top of her. 
        "I've waited long enough for you to kick these gentlemanly habits, 
Bandit," Blitz whispered. "I've been masturbating for the past hour, and my 
diaphragm is in. If you don't finally relax enough to give me a good dicking 
and stop worrying about Twink, not only will I never forgive you, but I don't 
think she will, either!"
        "Say what?" The Bandit looked down at her in surprise.
        "Her period's just started," Blitz grinned. "She's not in the mood for 
anything beyond a cuddle, but she knows you're going to be horny as hell 
tonight. So I promised I'd leave you too sore to bother her!"
        "Great," the Bandit said, remembering his first night with Mary 
Magdalene. Blitz chuckled and licked the inside of his ear gently, nibbling on 
the earlobe as she unbuckled his pants and hauled out his penis, which was 
stiffening rapidly. 
        "Oh, wow," she whispered into his ear, "It feels great!" 
        "Yes, it does," the Bandit agreed, one hand up her skirt and under her 
soaked panties. He dipped a finger into her dripping cunt, then another and 
another. She was spread, wet and slick, waiting.
        "Oh! Uh! No foreplay," Blitz gasped, "Just stick it in, hurry!" SHe 
hauled up her skirt to her waist, and tore off her panties frantically. Her 
pussy, oozing wet and swollen pink, was raised up off the mattress at him.
        The Bandit, confronted with a spread like that, didn't have to argue. 
He climbed atop her, pushing his pants down around his ankles, and carefully 
positioned his penis at the entry to her pussy. A few tentative strokes of the 
swollen glans against her labia had her moaning eagerly.
        "You son of a bitch, I said stick it IN!" Her legs came up off the 
bed, wrapped tightly around his waist, and pulled him forward and down. His 
penis caught in the folds of her pussy lips and bent over double. 
        "YAII!" He pushed back off of her, panting. "EASY, WOMAN!"
        "Yes, I am an easy woman," she smiled up at him. "But not cheap."
She tried again, more gently this time, and he slid into her effortlessly.
"Mmmmmmm, oh, yeah! Fuck me, Bandit! Fuck me hard!"
        "As you command, madam," he gasped, humping up and down furiously. 
It's interesting how your dick can't tell the difference between one pussy and 
another, he thought dimly. If we were in the dark, I couldn't tell if I were 
fucking her or Twink or even Teenie. Weird.
        The next few minutes passed without words. The only sounds in the room 
were the squishing noises of fleshing pistoning in and out of wet flesh, the 
slap, slap, slap of his scrotum against her cunt, her groans and his.
        "I'm...gonna...come soon," he gritted.
        "Come, uh, come when you're ready," she responded in gasps.
        "UNH! UNH! UNH!" He went rigid, feeling himslef unload into her, and 
slowly collapsed like a deflating balloon. Apt simile, he thought, sinking 
down atop her with a sigh.
        "That was well worth the wait," he whispered, kissing her ear.
        "It was indeed," she replied softly. "Could you please pull out of me 
so I can keep from ruining my clothes and blankets?"
        "Hm? Uh, sure," he said, scrambling off of her clumsily. She retrieved 
a wad of Kleenex from the box by her bed, cleaning herself off with a few deft 
swipes. She stood up, straightening her skirt, and kissed his shrinking penis 
as he started to pull up his pants. At the touch of her lips, it flopped over 
to one side as if to wave goodbye.
        "We'd better hurry if we want to make dinner," Blitz said matter-of-
factly, grabbing her coat. "Good thing this is your night off, or you'd really 
be in trouble." She smiled brightly. "I told Twink to save us seats at the 
dinner table tonight."
        The Bandit smiled at her as he zipped up his pants. "Did you come?"
        "No," she said, handing him his jacket, "But don't worry about it. I 
loved feeling you within me, and it was wonderful all around. But I almost 
never actually get all the way to an orgasm, so don't get all hung up over it. 
Okay?"
        He looked at her dubiously. "Okay." Suddenly he stopped, and pointed 
at the sodden heap on the floor by the door. "Hey, your panties!"
        "Don't need them," Blitz grinned wickedly. "You won't tell." She 
glided out into the hall. "Coming, dearest?"
        "Jeez," the Bandit muttered, closing the door behind him.

                PART 8: This is how it ends

Early May 1983

        The Bandit blinked, and suddenly it was May.
        How the hell did this happen, he wondered idly to himself as he 
crossed the wide lawn before the Student Union, listening to the chatter and 
laughter of the May Day crowds, the last crazy dance before Reading Period and 
finals began. One minute I'm a freshman, wet behind the ears and pimply and 
terrified and excited and happy all at the same time, and the next thing you 
know it's almost over!
        The hot sun beat down upon his back and shoulders, turning his pale 
skin brown at the edges of his tank top. His jeans were hot and uncomfortable 
in the baking, humid air, but he still couldn't bring himself to wear shorts. 
His sandals, already worn through, chafed his feet as he stalked across the 
grass, looking idly from side to side at the revelers and the booths selling 
trinkets for the passersby: T-shirts with pictures of Marx and Einstein, beer 
mugs with the Arcadia seal on them, hand-carved wooden sculptures....
        I'm alone, the Bandit thought, suddenly tired for some reason. I have 
friends everywhere, two women who love me, and yet I'm alone. Something's not 
right here. He stepped up to a vendor standing over a bucket of pint bottles 
in crushed ice, and dug in his pocket for a quarter. Money changed hands for a 
Fresca, and he sipped at it idly as he found a sunny spot on the grass that 
hadn't yet been trampled into soaking mud and sat down heavily.
        This was supposed to be the easiest time of my college career, he 
mused. Both of my majors completed, Honor Roll, credit hours and senior 
project up to par... I could flunk everything and still graduate. So why am I 
so tired all of a sudden?
        He belched loudly and grimaced. Because you're a workaholic, you 
asshole, he answered himself sharply. You live for work, you'll die for it 
someday, and you've immersed yourself in the hardest semester you've ever had, 
just to keep busy while the dreaded specter of Post-College Life creeps up on 
you....
        It's better than thinking about other things, he pointed out.
        True, he replied ruefully. True.
        A pinwheel of color suddenly whirled across the corner of his vision. 
He turned to look, and smiled despite himself; it was Flower, in a flowered 
sundress, turning cartwheels on the lawn for a laughing Rainbow Wizard. He saw 
a flash of bare, tanned legs and pink panties for the barest instant, and his 
eyes narrowed speculatively. Well, there were a lot of things I didn't get a 
chance to do before I left, he thought philosophically.
        "Hey! Bandit?"
        Speaking of which, he sighed, looking behind him.
        Diva came strolling up to him, her pudgy legs tanning nicely in the 
sun and her breasts swaying under her loose, sleeveless sweatshirt. She was 
barefoot in the grass, and her face was made pleasant by an uncharacteristic 
smile. He nodded to her, and was surprised to see her sit down beside him.
        "What can I do for you , Diva?"
        "Oh, nothing," Diva smiled, tucking her mousy hair back under her 
headband. "Zero wandered off, and I figured he'd gravitate this way 
eventually. Have you seen him?"
        "Not all day," the Bandit replied. "I haven't really seen much of 
anybody all day, actually."
        "No! Really? I thought you always had a crowd around you," she teased.
        "Humph," he glowered. Then he smiled, a thought occurring to him. "I 
caught your Junior Recital last week," he said. "You were fantastic, as 
usual. Nervous, maybe, but fantastic."
        "Oh, well," she said, coloring slightly, "I was just upset about the 
way the jury handled the scoring. It was too damn arbitrary for me." She 
smiled again. "But Mama and Papa seemed to like it."
        "They were in the audience? I didn't see them."
        "Oh, they were there," Diva smiled. "They wouldn't have missed it for 
the world. Why didn't we see you at the reception afterwards?"
        Now it was the Bandit's turn to redden. "Oh, uh, well, I didn't think
it would've been appropriate for me to show up," he muttered. 
        "Not appropriate? Bandit, we've known each other for years!" She 
seemed genuinely offended. "If not you, then who?"
        "Oh, come on, Diva!" The Bandit's discomfort mingled with 
defensiveness. "You can't tell me you would've wanted me hanging out at your 
reception!"
        "And why not?" She raised a haughty eyebrow. "Are you implying that we 
think we're too good for you?"
        "I never said that," he huffed. "It's just that, well, you and I 
haven't always been on the best of terms, that's all. I didn't want to make 
you uncomfortable."
        "Well, that's very solicitous of you," she sniffed, "But this was 
hardly a black-tie affair. I don't think anyone would have fainted if a few 
people in blue jeans had shown up to express their congratulations...."
        "A few--?" His eyes narrowed. "Diva, how many people showed up?"
        Her eyes were sad. "Maybe a couple of dozen, plus my parents."
        "Oh, shit." He met her gaze squarely. "Diva, I'm sorry, it just seemed 
that with all the suits and ties around I would've looked like a fool...."
        "Maybe you would have, if you'd come alone," Diva said hotly. "But 
where was everybody else?"
        "How the hell should I know? I wasn't about to herd them into the 
recital hall at gunpoint! If you like Mozart and Ravel, okay. If not--" He 
shrugged. "Your classical friends were all there, I'll bet."
        "Most of them." She sighed. "It's not important." 
        The Bandit looked at her as she picked up a blade of grass and twirled 
it between her fingers. What happened to the regal Diva, he wondered, the
haughty and proud mistress of the ivories? This is just a girl, fresh out of
her teens and lonely. Where was she these past years? Why didn't I see her? 
        "Diva," he said uncertainly, "I know we've had our bad moments in the 
past...." His voice trailed off. He suddenly realized that she was looking at 
him carefully, her china-blue eyes wide.
        Gamely he continued, "I just wanted to say that I, uh, I...."
        "Hey, there you are! I've been looking all over for you!"
        The Bandit turned around with a jerk, to see Zero standing behind him, 
holding an awkwardly-shaped package wrapped in his hand and smiling down at 
them. The Bandit stood up swiftly, as did Diva. She smiled at Zero, a happier 
smile than the Bandit had seen in a long time.
        "Just talking to your friend, here," she said with a laugh in her 
voice. "Are you ready for lunch?"
        "Yup. Starving!"
        "Great, so'm I. Bandit? Join us?"
        "Uh, no thanks," he said reflexively. "You two lovebirds go on without 
me, I'll be along as soon as I can scare up Blitz or Twink."
        "Suit yourself," Zero said mildly. Diva looked at the Bandit for a 
long moment, then suddenly hugged him swiftly and hard. 
        "Thank you," she whispered in his ear.
        And then she was gone, hand in hand with Zero on their way to Scum 
Central. The Bandit stood there looking after them, savoring her scent and the 
soft, pillowy breasts that had pressed against his chest for the barest 
moment.
        Suddenly he looked down at his feet, remembering. "Aw, shit," he 
muttered to himself, more in defeat than anger, and picked up the spilled 
bottle of Fresca from the grass.

Mid-May 1983

        "Knock, knock!" The Bandit stuck his head in the doorway. "Hey, Twink? 
Is anybody ho--"
        His voice cut off abruptly. Twink was scrambling to her feet and 
facing him, out of the embrace of a tall, handsome blonde guy in a linen shirt 
and brown pants tied with a rope belt. "Hi, Bandit," she said, blushing 
scarlet. "I wasn't expecting you."
        "Apparently not," he replied mildly, burying his impulses (run away, 
cry, scream, commit acts of unspeakable violence) beneath a shell of instant 
calm. "Should I come back later?"
        "Oh, no! We'll be gone later! I mean, I finished my last exam this 
morning, and by tonight we'll be on the road back home!" She motioned behind 
her to the tall young man, who was standing up and buttoning his shirt 
casually. "I've wanted the two of you to meet each other for nearly a year 
now," she continued nervously. "Paladin, this is the Bandit."
        "Pleasure to meet you!" The Paladin flashed a perfect, winning smile, 
and held out a hand. The Bandit took it, returning the smile carefully.
        "Pleased." He paused a moment, letting go of the hand. "You came down 
here to pick her up?"
        "Yeah," the Paladin nodded with an easy smile. "We'll load up my truck
with her things and hit the road for North Dakota by dinnertime. We hope to be
well on our way by nightfall...." He ducked his head, a sad expression
fleeting across his rugged face. "Sorry we won't have a chance to get to know
each other better...."
        Yeah, I'll bet, thought the Bandit, as he spread his hands with a 
forced smile. "These things happen," he said. "There'll be other times."
        "Will there?" The Paladin looked puzzled. "I thought you were 
graduating this year."
        "I am," the Bandit replied calmly. "Why should that stop me from 
seeing Twink every now and again?"
        "Hm," was the thoughtful reply. "You're right. You're right. Sorry."
        "No problem." You sleazebag.
        "Bandit, we'd love for you to come to dinner with us before we leave," 
Twink said brightly. "We could talk--"
        "I'm afraid not," the Bandit interrupted her. "My last exam's tonight, 
and I have to study. I came over to say my goodbyes." He turned to face the 
Paladin squarely. "Will you excuse us for a minute?"
        "Sure," the Paladin grinned. "Take your time. Should I step outside?"
        I'd love to ask you to step outside, you grinning gigolo. "No, thanks. 
We'll step outside." He motioned to the door, and Twink stepped out into the 
hallway. He followed her, shutting the door behind them.
        "I'm sorry," Twink whispered urgently. "I didn't want to surprise you 
like this...." He laid a finger on her lips, shushing her gently.
        "It's okay," he said. "I knew this day would come. I want you to have 
a safe trip home, and stay in touch with me. You have my address and phone 
number?"
        "Of course. I'll call or write when I get a chance, I promise. Bandit, 
please don't be sad. I'm going to be happy at home, and I want you to be 
happy, too!"
        "I'll do my best," he said with a little smile. "Can I kiss you 
goodbye, at least?"
        "Just try to leave without it," she replied, her eyes shiny with 
tears. He took her in his arms and reveled in the feel of her soft, yielding 
curves one last time: her breasts, the flare of her ribs, her waist and hips, 
her gentle touch on his lips....
        He broke the kiss, sadly but firmly. "Goodbye, love."
        "Goodbye...." Twink reluctantly pulled her arms down from around his 
neck, half turned to open the door, then suddenly threw herself into the 
Bandit's arms, hugging him so hard he thought he'd faint. "Oh, Bandit, I love 
you so...."
        He hugged her back, hard. "And I love you, Twink. Always will."
        "I know...." She pulled away again, sniffling. "Excuse me, I gotta go 
blow my nose...." She turned away and ran down the hall, pushing open the door 
to the women's room and vanishing. 
        The Bandit watched her go, tears welling up in his eyes. He looked 
back at the closed door, and something hot, suffocating and thick welled up in 
his throat, threatening to choke him to death on the spot. He threw the door 
open and glared at the Paladin, who'd looked up from reading one of Twink's 
books in surprise.
        "You take care of her, Paladin." His voice was an evil hiss.
        The Paladin's eyebrows raised, and he smiled. "Oh, I plan to."
        "Yeah, well try to do a better job than you did popping her cherry!"
        "She told you about that?" The Paladin's smile vanished.
        "You bet your ass she did. I don't care what she thinks of you, 
Paladin; you're a snake in the grass, in my book. And God help you if I find 
out you've hurt her...."
        "Are you threatening me?" 
        "No." The Bandit's arm arced upward in a blur, and the Paladin heard
something whip past his ear and bury itself in the wooden bookcase beside him.
"I'm making a promise." And with that, the door slammed and the Bandit was 
gone. 
        When Twink came in a few seconds later, the Paladin was still staring 
at the knife, inches from his face. "Darling, what's wrong?"
        He turned to her, his voice thick with disbelief and rage. "Your
ex-boyfriend just tried to kill me!" 
        Twink looked at the knife and smiled. "No he didn't," she said with a 
self-assurance she'd never felt in quite the same way before. "At this range, 
if he'd wanted to kill you, he would have." She strode over to the bookcase 
and retrieved the knife with a tug. It was his favorite throwing dagger, the 
black U.S. Air Force survival blade with the hammer butt. She stood staring 
down at it, tears in her eyes.
        "You want to go give it back to him?" The Paladin sneered.
        "No, I'm keeping it," Twink said softly. "He left it for me, to 
remember him by...." Her voice broke.
        She stepped into the other part of her room, closing the door behind
her, and he heard rummaging sounds, followed by a nose being blown violently
and a couple of loud sniffs. The door opened, and Twink came out, all smiles
and with only the barest hint of red in her eyes to show that she'd been
crying. "Let's finish packing, sweetheart." 
        He smiled and gave her a comforting squeeze. "I know he meant a lot to 
you," he said softly. "But you'll see him again...." He began to pack books
from the shelves into the crates she'd bought for the move. Twink stepped past
him, reaching for more books, and froze as her gaze wandered outside her
window. 
        A lonely figure was standing out in the rain, staring up at her. As 
she watched, it waved something and carefully set it down at the base of a 
nearby tree, almost invisible in the grey afternoon. With a final wave, it 
turned and ran off into the rain.
        It was the Bandit. He'd left behind the sheath for his knife.
        Twink smiled and turned to her task with a will, humming Stravinksy to
herself. I'll pick it up on the way to dinner, she thought happily. That guy. 
Trust him never to do anything halfway....
        "What are you smiling at?" The Paladin grinned at her.
        Twink leaned forward, kissing him soundly. "I am thinking," she 
whispered, "Of the man I love more than anything else in the world."
        "Mmmm," he said approvingly, dropping his armload of books and 
wrapping his arms around her, bearing her down onto the bed. 
        Goodbye, Bandit, she thought as waves of pleasure swept over her with 
his wandering hands. Be as happy as I will.
        Please?

Late May 1983

        "I can't help but think that this will be the last time we'll ever be 
doing this," the Bandit said softly, his hand tracing the ripe curve of 
Blitz's hip. 
        "Oh, don't get all drippy and sentimental on me, you jerk," Blitz 
laughed, rolling over and pushing him onto his back. "You know damn well that 
it won't be the last time! You're coming out to the shore to visit me this 
summer, and we're going to fuck 'til we drop for two weeks! So think of it as 
a temporary goodbye, and concentrate on making it a good one, okay?"
        He found himself smiling back at her. "Okay, I won't argue."
        "Why the hell'd I ever have to fall in love with you, Bandit?" She 
straddled his hips, gently caressing his hard, pulsing member. "It was so much 
easier when it was all just lust, when you were fucking me to make Starch mad 
and I was fucking you because my boyfriend wanted to sleep three nights a 
week...." She slid forward a little bit and began to rub her labia over the 
underside of his penis, wetting it with her juices and sighing with the 
pleasurable ripples it sent up and down her nerves.
        "Not for me, it wasn't," the Bandit said between sighs. "I can't just 
fuck a woman because of a physical attraction...there has to be something 
emotional there...."
        "Why?" She stopped what she was doing and looked down at him, hands 
indignantly on her hips. "Why?"
        "Because if there isn't," he replied, reaching up to gently fondle her 
breasts, "Then we're no different from rutting animals."
        "I have bad news for you, Bandit," she sighed as her wide, purplish- 
pink nipples swelled and hardened under his expert fingers, "We ARE no 
different from rutting animals. The emotional baggage is just manufactured 
bullshit, and we ought to be able...ooohhhhh....purrrrrrrr...to recognize it 
as such...."
        "Okay, then," he said impishly, "Answer your own question: why did you 
have to fall in love with me?"
        She grabbed his hands with hers, pulling them roughly away from her 
breasts. "Because I know the difference between making love and being in love, 
that's why! We made love for a long time, before I fell in love with you!"
        "Oh, really?" He began to move his hips slowly, rubbing his penis 
against her labia. "I was in love with you from day one...."
        "Then you're an idiot," she moaned, "Because you didn't take the time 
to really learn what was worth loving in me, you just tacked it on as you went 
along, starting with the sex...mmmmm...."
        "Maybe so," he admitted, returning to his nipple-play, "But we seem to 
have ended up okay, anyway...."
        "This time," she insisted, biting her lip to keep her thoughts in 
order. "You got started with me the same way you got started with Twink, or 
Teenie....you got into my pants, and then you decided you loved me. What the 
hell's going to happen when you start to think with your brain instead of your 
gonads, and make FRIENDS with a woman before you sleep with her?"
        The Bandit stopped what he was doing, thinking hard for a moment. Then 
he grinned, that old Bandit grin. "I'll probably get married," he laughed. 
"But for now, can we settle for a good, straightforward bye-bye fuck?"
        "Mmmmm, yes, you asshole," Blitz replied, reaching down and seizing 
his length firmly. "That'll...have to...doooooOOOOOOOO...." She lifted herself 
up slightly, stuffed the tip of his penis into her moist crevice, and sat.
        "Ahhhhh," the Bandit gasped as he felt her warm wetness engulf him. 
"I'm gonna miss this...."
        "So am I, you son of a bitch," she moaned, bucking up and down as his 
hands tightened over her breasts. "Too damn much for my own good...."
        "MMmf, gonna come soon...."
        "Come when you're ready...."
        "Sure?"
        "Yes, I'm sure."
        "Positive?"
        "Yes, I'm positive!"
        "Abso--mmph!--lutely?"
        "COME IN ME, ALREADY! You're turning purple!"
        "Okay--UNGH! UH! UH!" He heaved up to meet her and she sighed and 
moaned as his hot, sticky juices filled her to overflowing. She slowly settled 
onto him, a panting, sweating coverlet on his trembling chest.
        The same whispered question: "Did you come?"
        The same soft answer: "No. But you felt wonderful. Don't worry."
        Sigh.
        After a long, long while, she rolled off of him, his limp penis 
sliding out of her with a wet plop, and reached for the roll of toilet paper 
he kept by the bed to clean herself up. He followed suit, and kissed her 
breasts one last time as she fastened her bra and put on her blouse. They 
dressed quickly, and he held the door open for her as she left his room.
        The walk across campus to her dorm was made in silence. As they 
approached the front doors, she turned to him and gave him a quick hug.
        "See you in July."
        "I'm counting the days...."
        "'Bye." A light kiss on his cheek, and she swiftly stepped through the 
doors and vanished into a stairwell with a parting wave. 
        The Bandit waved back, then sighed, thrusting his hands into his
jacket pockets and turning for the short walk home. The beginnings of another 
storm began to patter raindrops on the leaves as he hunched his shoulders and 
hurried away into the night.

Memorial Day, 1983

        "Hey, Bandit! Looking sharp!" Zero looked the Bandit over, as he 
struck a dignified pose in his black gown and mortarboard. "Not bad, not bad. 
But I would've preferred paisley."
        "Gee, thanks." The Bandit gave him an affectionate squeeze. "It's 
gonna be a tough road without you, bro'. I'm gonna miss you."
        "That's how it works, kemosabe," Zero shrugged with a faint smile. 
"But we haven't seen the last of each other yet. You and Diva are from the 
same home town, right?"
        "Well, sort of," the Bandit said. "You've been there! It's nearly an 
hour's drive from her place to my folks' house. Are you going to visit her 
family over breaks?"
        "Probably not," Zero said with a grimace, "Seeing as how they don't 
approve of me. But we'll both be in your shoes next May, and if the job 
market's good I may decide to relocate! Sound good?"
        "REALLY? Oh, YEAH!" The Bandit hugged Zero hard, his mortarboard 
falling to the ground. "I can hardly wait!"
        "Great," Zero laughed, handing him his mortarboard. 
        "What will you be doing this summer?"
        "I'll be staying in Arcadia, actually," was the surprising reply. "I 
got a good job offer, so I decided to try what you did last year."
        "Hopefully with better results," the Bandit said with a wry face.
        "Hopefully," Zero grinned quietly. "Well, they're lining up; good 
luck, kemosabe." He gave the Bandit one last hug, and walked off.
        The Bandit watched him walking down to where Conan and the Rainbow 
Wizard were standing at the edge of the Commencement crowd, a smile on his 
face. Zero living at home? YOW! The Dynamic Duo will ride again!
        "....Bandit?"
        The timid voice made him turn sharply, his smile vanishing.
        "What do you want?" His voice was cool.
        Mary Magdalene ran her hands down the hem of her dress, uncomfortable 
under his gaze. "I, I just wanted to say goodbye." She looked up at him 
pleadingly, her dark eyes meeting his. "I couldn't let you leave with things 
between us the way they are. I know we've hurt each other terribly, but that's 
as much my fault as your own. I just put too much of myself into you, too soon 
after the Rainbow Wizard. It wasn't all your doing...."
        He looked down at his feet, chafing in the unfamiliar dress shoes. "I 
know," he said softly. "I understand."
        "I'm leaving Arcadia," she said softly.
        He looked up at her, his eyes wide. "You're WHAT?"
        "I'm leaving Arcadia." Her voice was firm. "There are too many 
memories for me here, and not enough real opportunities. I'm going to New 
England, where my brother lives with his wife. They'll let me stay with them 
and help take care of their baby while I look for work in a recording studio 
or something." She smiled, the million-candlepower MaryMag smile that could
take the paint off a rocket booster. "I used to dream dreams that were my own,
not someone else's. I'm going to try to get them back." 
        "I'm glad," the Bandit said. "At least you learned that much...."
        "I learned a lot from you, Bandit," she said. "I wouldn't have traded 
our time together for amything. I...I thought you should know that." She 
looked at him uncertainly.
        He smiled. "I know. And I want you to know that I feel the same." He 
blinked at her in the bright sun, and his smile turned shy. "Can I kiss you 
goodbye?"
        She nodded, laughing aloud. "Same old Bandit! C'mere."
        "Mmmmmm," he said, relishing her wonderful mouth once more.
        "Mmmm," she replied, squeezing him gently. Then the kiss was broken, 
and she waved a little wave with her fingers as she turned away and ran to 
join the crowd. He waved after her, licking his lips for the last of her 
taste.
        From the edge of the crowd, Conan saw the kiss, and shook his head in 
exasperation. "Geez," he muttered, "How does he DO it?"
        "He has the touch," Zero said softly, watching Mary Magdalene as she 
approached them with a smile. "He just...has the touch."
        The Bandit looked down the hill at the tiny knot of people that were 
his last friends in Arcadia. He waved, a goodbye that held the promise of fun 
and good times in the shadowy years that lay beyond college, and ran to join 
the line of gowns and mortarboards that was slowly beginning to move ahead. 
The familiar strains of "Pomp and Circumstance" filled the open courtyard as 
the Class of 1983, the Bandit in their midst, stepped forward to receive their
diplomas and take on the world.

        EPILOGUE: What was that old saying about going home again?

Mid-January 1984

        "It was a dark and stormy night...."
        Twink winced and put the book down. Gee whiz, she thought blankly, I'd
never have dreamed that anyone would literally use that to start off a book!
It's appropriate, though, she added to herself as she looked out the window at
the pouring rain. The chill of January had lifted just enough to turn a
blizzard of snow into sheets of thick, chilling rain that soaked to the bone
and leached away all warmth. It had been a perfect day to stay inside, she
thought, and tomorrow would be soon enough to go out and face the world.... 
        She looked at the clock. Nearly midnight. Soon the security gates 
would come down, and the building would be buttoned up safely for the night. 
She sighed, set the book on the table by her bed, and began to undress. She 
was down to bra and panties when she was startled by a timid knock at the 
door.
        Twink looked up at the door, dropping her blouse on the floor in her 
sudden shock. She quickly walked to the closet and drew out her bathrobe, 
tying it around herself as she cautiously called, "Who is it?"
        "Twink?"
        Twink's eyes went wide. That voice....
        "B--Bandit?" Her voice was a choked whisper.
        "Open the door? Please?" The voice was very soft, almost weak.
        Twink was at the door in two steps, throwing it open wide. The Bandit 
was standing before her, shivering miserably in a snow parka and jeans that 
were dripping with rain. His hair was matted down over his forehead, and his 
eyes were bloodshot and rimmed with dark circles, as if he hadn't slept in a 
long time. He smiled, a feeble shadow of the famous Bandit grin. "H--Hi."
        Twink just stared at him for a bare second, then threw her arms around 
him and hugged him to her fiercely. "Oh, BANDIT!"
        "No! No, don't, I'm soaking wet, I'm freezing," the Bandit said 
quickly, pulling her away from him. "You'll catch cold--" He sneezed 
violently.
        "Sounds like you already have," Twink said with a worried look,
pulling him into her room and shutting the door. She began to remove his
parka. "Get out of those wet things before you freeze. I'll pop them in the
dryer while you go down the hall and take a nice, long shower to warm up.
There's some soap, shampoo and a towel in the top drawer." She stripped off
his wet clothes, layer by layer: he was soaked clear through, his skin
wrinkled and icy to the touch. Even his penis seemed shrunken and miserable,
huddled against itself in the chill. Twink, all business, didn't even touch
it. She handed the Bandit her room key, and said, "I expect you to be in the
shower when I get back. Okay?"
        "Ok--kay," he said through chattering teeth as she shut the door on 
her way out. He pulled open the drawer and retrieved the necessary items, his 
fingers numb and trembling, and tiptoed down the hall to the bathroom. It was 
deserted, he noted quickly as he poked his head in the door. Quickly he 
stepped inside and into one of the shower stalls, throwing on the hot water 
full blast. He stepped into the shower, wincing, and just stood under the
steaming spray, his eyes closed. Five minutes passed, then another five. His
trembling gradually stopped. He stretched luxuriantly under the water, then
turned it down to a more reasonable temperature and began to soap his hair.
        "Bandit? Are you in there?"
        He smiled at the sound of Twink's voice, echoing eerily in the tiled 
room. "Yeah, it's me," he said, his voice much more assured than it had been a 
few minutes before.
        "Oh, good," Twink said, drawing aside the shower curtain and stepping 
in beside him. She was as naked as he was, and was smiling in expectation of 
his reaction. She stopped. He was facing away from her, into the spray, and 
was rinsing off his face and head. "Are you going to join me?" His burbling 
call was too loud for one who knew she was in there with him.
        Twink's smile turned playful. "Sure," she whispered as she slipped her 
arms around his waist and began to fondle his penis, which was already nearly 
hard. The Bandit jumped at her touch, then relaxed against her as her hand 
wrapped around his shaft and began to rhythmically squeeze it and stroke it up 
and down. He reached behind him, holding out the soap.
        "Here," he laughed. "As long as you're in here, make yourself useful."
        Twink took the soap and began to lather the Bandit's body gently. His 
shoulders, his back, his sides and under his arms, then his hips, his 
buttocks, and around to his penis and testicles and up his stomach and chest. 
He leaned back against her and sighed as she worked, saying, "That feels 
heavenly...."
        "Your turn," Twink replied, gently turning him around and handing him 
the soap. She stepped into his arms and kissed him gently as he soaped the 
broad curves of her back and shoulders, down to her buttocks and hips. He 
broke the kiss and turned her around, leaning her forward against the wall of 
the shower stall as he reached around her to soap and rub her belly and full, 
hanging breasts.
        Twink gasped as she felt his hardness in the cleft between her cheeks. 
"Bandit, be careful! I'm not protected!"
        "Good point," the Bandit sighed, turning her so the spray could rinse 
her clean. He grinned at her as she rinsed her long blonde tresses in the 
spray, adding, "We're probably about to run out of hot water, anyway. I can 
fuck you in the shower some other time."
        A few minutes later they were back in Twink's room, wrapped in dry 
towels and sipping hot chocolate on her bed. The hollows under the Bandit's 
eyes were still there, but he looked 100% better, Twink decided happily. Now 
that I know he'll be okay....
        "What are you doing here, Bandit?"
        The Bandit looked sheepish. "I was coming to visit you and everyone 
else at Arcadia for a few days. I thought I would be here during the early
evening, so I could talk to everybody and make arrangements for where to stay,
but I had car trouble about twenty miles south of Arcadia and had to get a tow
the rest of the way. My car's in the shop until Monday at the earliest. I
didn't get on campus until after eleven, and I didn't know where else to try,
so I came here. Would you like me to call Zero and ask for some floor space?" 
        "Don't be silly," Twink smiled. "You're with me for the duration."
        The Bandit actually looked relieved. "Thanks," he said with a more 
confident grin than she'd seen from him yet. "That's good to know...."
        "Why wouldn't you stay here?"
        He shrugged. "What if the Paladin were visiting?"
        "Oh." Twink rested her chin on her hand thoughtfully. "I hadn't 
thought of that. It would be kind of awkward, wouldn't it?" She smiled
suddenly and added, "Well, that's not important. We saw each other over Winter
Break, and we'll see each other again in March. But for now, Guinevere's
probably keeping him warm on those cold North Dakota nights, and now I have
you to keep ME warm." She leaned forward and kissed his lips gently. 
        "You're trembling," she smiled, pulling away slightly.
        "I always tremble when I'm near you," he whispered. He set his cup of 
chocolate down on the table and took hers from her hand, setting it aside as 
well. He reached out for her, twining his fingers in her damp hair and kissing 
her hungrily as he fell forward onto her, pushing her down on her back.
        "Wait, wait," she protested around his lips. "Please."
        "What's the matter?" He drew back from her, suddenly concerned.
        "I want to show you something I learned how to do this summer, back 
home," she said with a little giggle. She gently pushed him off of her, her 
towel falling away as she did so. She lay back on the pillow, golden and 
naked, and spread her legs apart for him, her perfect labia glistening with 
the last few drops of water from the shower. Smiling up at him, she reached 
into the drawer in the bed table and drew out a metal tube and a small plastic 
package, which she opened to remove a small cup-shaped object of pink plastic. 
        The Bandit's eyes narrowed with interest. "What is that? It's too