voice that demanded attention.
        She was standing behind Zero, carrying a battered old guitar case in 
one hand and brushing her hair back from her eyes with the other. She was 
small, perhaps five feet two, with the lithe curves of a gymnast ill-disguised 
by the flimsy blouse she wore. The Bandit's gaze flicked over her in a 
practiced instant: tight, well-worn jeans with a patch over the crotch, strong 
legs, light from the window behind her outlining her torso through the shirt, 
and the particular jiggle and barely noticable tenting of the fabric that 
bespoke small, slightly pointed breasts and no bra to hide the nipples. Her 
eyes were blue and wide like a child's, and her freckled face was scrubbed 
clean of makeup. She tucked a wayward strand of wavy brown hair behind one 
ear, and continued, "I wish I could play like that...."
        Zero looked into her eyes, and came to an instant decision. "A lot of 
people do," he said pleasantly, and turned away from her, walking out of the 
lounge. She watched him go, her eyes puzzled.
        "Oh, don't mind him," the Bandit said hurriedly, getting up from the 
couch and striding over to her. "He just gets nervous when people compliment 
him, that's all. Say, I haven't seen you around here before. Did you just move 
in?"
        She smiled at him, revealing tiny dimples. "Yes. I just transferred 
here from Crystal City. This is my first semester. I'm called Flower."
        "I'll just bet you are," the Bandit grinned. "And I am the one and
only Bandit. At your service, madam!" He took her proffered hand and kissed
it. 
        She withdrew the hand gently, smiling. "Pleased," she said. 
        The Bandit's grin grew even wider, if that were possible. He waved to
the assemblage in the lounge. "My merry men," he said. "Thud, Conan on the
couch there with the Bitch Goddesses of Thamazor, and, uh, oh, yes! These two
shameless exhibitionists at your feet are our very own Do-it-Yourself Messiah,
the Rainbow Wizard, and HIS very own Mary Magdalene." 
        "Messiah?" She looked over as the Rainbow Wizard got to his feet, 
drawing up Mary Magdalene beside him with one strong arm around her waist.
She smiled up at him. "I've never met a real Messiah before. Do you work 
miracles?"
        "When I'm not being trodden down by the unfaithful," the Rainbow 
Wizard smiled, "I can do almost anything. Welcome to the East Habitat." He 
bowed to her. She dimpled prettily and gave him a mock curtsy, and the 
Bandit suddenly felt like the fifth wheel on a Continental: not good for much, 
and hanging on for the ride. It's that goddamned Wizard thing again, he 
thought disgustedly. Why the hell does HE have to attract the pretty ones
all the damn time?
        Flower turned to Mary Magdalene, and said, "it must be terribly 
exciting, having your own Messiah. How did you manage to do it?"
        Mary Magdalene smiled, but there was something in that smile that 
wasn't the orgasm. "I was," she said archly, "In the right place at the right
time." 
        There was silence for a few moments as several different thoughts went 
through several different heads.
        MY tits never look that good without a bra on, Mary Magdalene thought
worriedly, and how the hell does she keep her hips so slim? It's a good thing 
I know the Wizard, or I'd be really worried....
        This, thought the Rainbow Wizard, is a woman to get to know better.
        Nice hair, thought Flower. Seriously good smile, too. But she's too 
heavy and she doesn't take care of herself. And not only does she know it, but 
he knows it, too! Oh, mama, Crystal City was NOTHING compared to what I'm
gonna do to Arcadia! 
        Wow, man, serious tit action here, Conan thought. Wonder if the Wiz'll 
let me tear off a piece once he adds her to his little harem?
        Thud was watching Mary Magdalene's eyes. This is going to be very 
ugly, he thought to himself. I wonder how stable MaryMag is these days? If she
gets too iffy, then POW! Catfight! Break out the body oil and the video
camera! 
        The Bandit, forgotten in an instant, decided that sterner measures
were necessary. "Uh, listen," he said, "We'll be getting together tomorrow to
do some playing. Zero and I, I mean. Would you like to join us?" 
        Flower had obviously come to the conclusion that the Rainbow Wizard 
was more worth knowing than Zero. "Maybe later," she said, scarcely looking at 
the Bandit. "I want to play some guitar duets right now." She looked over at 
the Rainbow Wizard and smiled. "If you don't mind, that is."
        "Not at all," he said. "Will you teach me some new songs?"
        "If you'll teach me a couple," she replied guilelessly.
        "Great! We can take turns playing," Mary Magdalene said brightly. "I 
love playing duets." She smiled pleasantly at Flower, her eyes hard as flint.
Flower gave her the sort of smile one gives an adorable young child who's just
brought home a live snake as a pet. 
        "We'll make it a trio, then," the Rainbow Wizard said, fishing in his
pocket for his room key. "Why don't you go get my other guitar from my room, 
dear?"
        "Okay!" Mary Magdalene's desire to please the Wizard overruled her her 
suspicions, and she skipped off toward their room. The Bandit watched her go, 
thinking, too trusting to live. Jesus!
        "Well, I guess I'll be leaving," the Bandit said uncomfortably. "You 
should stop by our place when you get a chance...."
        "Oh, I'd love to," Flower said hastily, remembering her manners. "I'd 
love to hear what you and, er, Zero do."
        The Bandit managed a weak grin. "Well, we--"
        "YO! BANDIT! HEY, WIZ my MAIN MAN! Whuss happening, people?"
        The Bandit winced. Please, he thought, O merciful God, not now, not 
while there's some faint shred of hope....
        Livewire threw a corded arm about the Bandit's shoulders and squeezed 
hard enough to dislocate his collarbone. "Howya DOIN' my MAN!" He caught sight 
of Flower for the first time, and his eyes nearly popped out of his head. 
"Well, hell-LO there, pretty lady," he said in his best Rhett Butler 
imitation, which was terrible, "I don't believe we've been introduced...."
        "Flower, this is Livewire. Livewire, this is Flower. She's a 
transfer," the Bandit said in a rush. "Now as I was saying--"
        Flower gave Livewire the barest nod, and said to the Rainbow Wizard, 
"You have a lot of interesting followers."
        Any thoughts that the Bandit had in Flower's direction were chopped 
brutally short. His eyes burned as he whirled to face her. "You watch your 
mouth, missy," he gritted. "Livewire's my drummer, and neither he nor Zero 
buys into this crock of shit that old Glow-in-the-Dark here shovels out for 
the faithful. And what goes for them goes double, triple, for me. Understand?"
        Flower took a half step back from him, her eyes widening fearfully. 
"Don't you talk to me that way," she said feebly. "I can make mistakes, can't 
I? I thought he was your friend...." She looked from the Rainbow Wizard, who 
was regarding the Bandit sourly, back to the Bandit again.
        "He is my friend." The Bandit's voice was soft. "I just wish he'd see 
a shrink before he gets somebody hurt." He turned on his heel and left, 
tossing angrily over his shoulder, "Particularly himself!"
        "Oo, bad scene," Livewire said, watching him go. Then he shrugged and 
said to Flower, "But he's right, you know. This guy is like a TOTAL fuckhead. 
Thinks he can create trees!" Laughing uproariously, he did a back handspring 
away from them, bounded to his feet and charged off with a wave. "Later!"
        The Rainbow Wizard smiled and shook his head with the weariness of a 
patient parent. He said, "It isn't easy, being me."
        "Awwwww...." Flower smiled at him, her eyes at once teasing and 
promising.
        "Awwwww...." mimicked Conan, his eyes still on the book.
        Mary Magdalene was walking down the narrow hallway, the guitar case 
bumping against her legs, when the Bandit came striding toward her like a 
juggernaut. He brushed past her roughly, bumping the case from her hand with a 
jerk. 
        "Hey!" Mary Magdalene's voice carried a lot more ire than people were 
used to hearing from her. "Why don't you watch where you're going?"
        "I could say the same for you, sweetheart," the Bandit snarled, not 
even turning around. "Better get out there in a hurry, or you're going to be 
out of a job." He slammed the door of his room behind him. Mary Magdalene 
looked at the shut door, then back down the hall toward the lounge. Her eyes 
narrowed into cruel slits, and her jaw set into a grim line. She marched down
the hallway toward the lounge, rolling up her sleeves as she went. 
        The Bandit pulled open the refrigerator, pulled out a beer, opened it 
with his teeth, and downed a third of it in one swig. He sat down wearily on 
the couch and sighed, running a thumb over his aching teeth. Why do I keep 
doing that, he wondered wearily. One of these days I'll break a tooth.
        It's just not goddamned fair! He reads a book on the theory of miracle 
working, convinces himself and everyone else within earshot that he's got 
something special, and all of a sudden he's up to his eyeballs in devoted 
female followers! It's enough to make you sick.... I should have been a Psych 
major. Then I could get into people's heads and make them do whatever I wanted 
them to, just like him! Bells! Love songs! Give me a break, for shit's sake!
        There was a soft knock on the door.
        The Bandit took another long pull on the beer, finishing the bottle. 
I'm not going to answer it, he decided. I'm going to sit here very quietly and 
wait for whoever it is to go the fuck away. Then I'm going to crawl into bed 
and try to sleep while the Wiz is probably conniving BOTH of them into bed 
with him across the room. What the hell's so special about cum that glows in 
the dark, anyway? Hell, if I'd been irradiated as badly as he was, MY cum 
would probably glow, too!
        The knock was louder the second time.
        Go away, the Bandit willed. Go away and leave me alone. I don't want 
to be comforted, I don't want pity and understanding. I just want to be left 
alone. Please!
        "Bandit? Please open the door...."
        The Bandit's eyes went as wide as Frisbees, then contracted shut in 
pain. No, anyone but her, he begged. Please?
        There was a long silence.
        Finally, with a ragged sigh, the Bandit got up and walked across the 
living room, setting the bottle down with a clank. He pulled the door open, 
and snapped, "What?"
        Twink was obviously a bit taken aback by his tone, but she smiled 
tremulously and managed to struggle onward. "Can I come in?"
        "If you must," sighed the Bandit. He motioned for her to enter, and 
she glided past him and sat down demurely on the beanbag chair, her legs 
curled under her. He resisted the impulse to get another beer, shut the door, 
and returned to his chair. "So what do you want?"
        She smiled, the faintest hint of a kiss-me pout on her lips. "I ran 
into Livewire," she said. "He told me you'd had a run-in with the Wiz over 
this new transfer kid."
        The Bandit sighed again. "I'm just a little bit tired of seeing him do 
the old hoodoo and having women drop their drawers for him," he muttered.
        Twink frowned slightly. "Drawers? What kind of drawers?"
        The Bandit slapped his forehead. "DRAWERS, Twink! Panties! Underwear, 
y'know?"
        "Oh," Twink said, blushing. "No, I've never heard that word for them 
before. Drawers? What a funny word for underwear! I wonder where it came from? 
Shut up, Twink." The last three words were spoken in the same conversational 
tone as the rest of her speech, and the Bandit almost missed them.
        He raised an eyebrow. "'Shut up, Twink'?"
        "I've started ending all of my sentences with it," she said proudly. 
"It saves time."
        Somewhere in the Bandit's gut, a small cold something tied itself in a 
knot. "Aw, Twink, that's a terrible thing to say!"
        "Well, it's the truth," she replied, shrugging. "People have been 
telling me to shut up ever since I got here. I can't ask what the words mean 
in the movies--"
        "Well, you've gotta admit not knowing the jargon in a movie that's 
rated 'R' is a little bit flaky for a modern teenager," the Bandit said drily.
        "I wasn't raised with it," she said wistfully. "My mummy and daddy 
never used curse words around the house, and neither did anyone else in the 
school."
        "I guess you didn't miss much," he smiled.  The knot in his stomach 
was slowly unwinding, and he took a moment to appraise the figure Twink cut 
critically. She was wearing that awful shapeless nightgown again, the 
polyester one that zipped up to her chin with the little lace collar, and 
furry bunny slippers in matching powder blue. Bunny slippers, he thought to 
himself. I mean, really!
        For a brief moment, he found himself wondering what she would look 
like in real clothes, as opposed to the Godawful things her parents sent with 
her from wherever the hell in North Dakota she'd come from. All he knew was
that she was no lightweight, and he wondered just how much fat she was hiding
under those shapeless sweaters she wore. For a brief instant, he had a brief 
mental vision of Diva, her heavy breasts and wide hips as appealing as a 
Rubens in their way. The Bandit had always gone for short, willowy girls, but 
maybe there was something to Zero's taste for ladies closer to Diva's 
size.... He shook his head slightly. Get real, Bandit. You're never going to 
get closer than ten feet away from Diva, and Twink ain't no Diva!
        "Penny for your thoughts," Twink asked, twirling the tip of her 
nightgown's collar drawstring between her chubby fingers. The Bandit's gorge 
rose into his throat at her pitiful attempt at flirtatiousness, and he 
suddenly was feeling about as amorous as a retread on the Interstate.
        "I was thinking," he drawled, "About what an incredible pain in the 
ass some women can be...."
        "Oh, you mean Flower? Yes, she's a live one, I'll say," Twink smiled. 
For the briefest instant, the Bandit could've sworn that she'd actually dodged 
an insult and delivered a comeback. Then he realized, as she continued 
talking, that she'd just missed the reference completely. Merciful God, he 
thought, how did a woman like this ever get into college?
        "I've been talking with her, she lives in my hall. She's kind of 
weird, always wearing old tiedyes and beads and and talking about how her 
parents used to walk around naked so she wouldn't have any hangups and stuff 
like that. After I saw Livewire, I decided to breeze through the lounge and 
see what was going on. I thought it was really pretty funny, well, actually 
kind of sad, to tell the truth, I mean there's the Rainbow Wizard playing 
away, and there's Flower matching him note for note, and poor Mary Magdalene
struggling along on the chords just to keep up! Everyone tells me that the two 
of them have been together just forever and they always will be, but it 
doesn't seem to me that that's a terribly healthy way to go, you know? Shut 
up, Twink."
        "Oh, stop that," The Bandit scowled. He'd heard about enough for one 
night. Somebody was leaving. Soon!
        "Why?" Twink smiled at him again, standing up and stretching. "Do you 
have something better for me to do?"
        Oh, Lord God, the Bandit thought. That's the last straw!
        He was on his feet in an instant, pulling open the door to the room 
he shared with Zero. It was empty; Zero had already gone to Diva's for the 
night. He strode inside, growling, "Leave, Twink. Just...leave. Shut the door 
on your way out."
        He reached behind him to shut the door but Twink was there, pulling it 
shut behind her. "Are you sure you want me to leave, so soon?" Her voice was 
low and liquid, teasing.
        The Bandit wasn't having any of it, tonight, though. A woman like 
Flower ending up on the Wiz's hit list, and Twink, for God's sake, TWINK as a 
consolation prize? No, Goddammit, NO!
        He whirled on her and hissed, "I have had enough of your stupid 
insinuations and your ridiculaous attempts at flirting! You're making a 
complete and utter fool of yourself, and you're not impressing anyone! You 
love the attention I give you and you have absolutely no intention of 
following through on ANY of your little hints, so why don't you just put up or
shut up!" 
        Twink stared at him, her eyes wide and bright. He returned her stare, 
his eyes burning black in the dimlight through the Venetian blinds. 
        Then, quite suddenly, she smiled.
        "All right," she whispered.
        And in a single smooth motion, she unzipped her nightgown from her 
collar to her waist and let it fall to the floor.
        The Bandit, master of the quick comeback, the left-handed compliment, 
and the subtle jab, the most dangerous verbal assassin in Arcadia, dimly heard 
his higher reasoning faculties shut down. His blood roared in his ears and he 
barely registered the fact that she was stepping forward and putting her soft 
arms about his neck. Instinctively his hands came up and grasped her waist, 
and her soft lips met his as the last remnants of his reasoning abilities 
surrendered with a fading crackle of static. Her lips were gentle, soft, and 
caressing, and she broke the kiss after a moment and held him tightly, 
whispering in his ear, "You're trembling. What's the matter?"
        "Oh, God, Twink," he managed to get out somehow. "You mustn't. I treat 
you like dirt! Worse than dirt! You deserve better than me, for God's sake, 
find yourself someone who'll give you a fair shake, don't do this--"
        She placed a cool fingertip on his lips. "Shut up, Bandit," she said 
in a tone of mock sternness. She giggled at the turnabout, and he found 
himself laughing with her. Suddenly, with a roar of released emotion, he threw 
his arms around her waist and hugged her as hard as he could. She squealed as 
he lifted her up off the ground, thought better of it, and quickly set her 
down again. She met his gaze, her eyes mischevious, and suddenly lowered her 
arms to encircle his waist. His breath whooshed out of him as she returned 
the lift, laughing. She set him down on his feet again, giggling, "You 
shouldn't hurt yourself. I'm a pretty big girl!"
        "No kidding," he whispered reverently, stepping back a pace to admire 
her. In all of my life, he thought, I have never dreamed that someone like 
this could exist outside of Playboy. I was right, Twink's no Diva. Poor Zero, 
stuck with Diva....
        She wasn't a classic beauty by any means, but her body was the stuff 
of Bandit's dreams. She was ever so slightly overweight, just enough to give a 
softness to her joints and her lines, smoothing away the angles of bone 
beneath the skin. Her oval face and long, aristocratic neck swept 
uninterrupted into gently sloping shoulders, strong arms, and the most 
beautiful breasts the Bandit had ever seen. He'd only really slept with a 
couple of women in his life, and all of them had been, by choice or chance, 
short and slender, with tiny A-cup breasts that suited their small frames. In
that instant, at his first sight of a woman with an average-sized bustline,
the Bandit became a lifelong and firmly committed breast man. 
        "You're beautiful," he moaned, fingering her swelling nipples in 
disbelief. Twink's breasts weren't unduly large, but her nipples were 
something to see. As she sighed at his touch, they grew and swelled to the 
size of pencil erasers. He let his hands slide down her wide, flaring 
ribcage, and across her her washboard-flat stomach, pausing for a moment with 
his thumb in her navel and one questing finger curling about a tendril of 
downy, honey-blonde hair. "You're also a natural blonde," he noted with a 
grin, his sense of humor slowly returning. 
        "Of course," Twink giggled. She reached up and began to undo the 
buttons of his shirt, whispering, "I want to see you naked, Bandit...."
        Suddenly he gripped her hands with his, looking hard into her eyes.
"Twink," he said, "You don't have to do this. I don't know why you picked me,
but I'm giving you the chance to back out now, before we go any further." 
        She smiled up at him, her eyes bright with tears and her smile almost 
aglow. "I picked you," she whispered,  "Because I love you. I forgive you the 
way you've treated me in the past, because I know you were all broken up over 
Teenie and how she dumped you. I want you, and I'd like for you to learn to
love me, but all I really want to ask for are two things. Will you promise
them to me?" 
        He frowned. "I will, if I honestly can."
        "Okay. First, will you be a litle nicer to me from now on?" Her gaze
was wistful, and so full of pain that that the Bandit had to swallow to keep
from crying. 
        He shook his head. "I can't promise you that, not until I get to know 
you better. You and I need to talk, really talk, to one another, and right now 
I'm in no condition to make conversation. But I will promise to give you the 
common courtesy I've maybe been denying you, and to help you learn to defend 
yourself a little better when people start picking on you...."
        "I'll settle for that, for a start," Twink whispered, a tear rolling
down one cheek. 
        "Hey, hey, don't cry. I want to see you laugh!" He smiled 
encouragingly at her, then on a sudden impulse tried tickling her ribs. She 
pulled away with a sharp laugh, and wiped her eyes. He found himself staring 
at her again, entranced by the way her breasts swung as she moved.
        She smiled and slipped her arms around his neck, and whispered into 
his lips, "My second request is as follows. If I were to tell you that I want 
to stay a virgin, would you be upset?"
        "Not at all," the Bandit said instantly. "It's your body, you have the 
right to control what happens to it." And to his surprise, he realized that he 
meant it. Mom, you raised me right, he thought to himself, but the fact that 
there's so much else of her to enjoy is gonna make keeping this promise a lot 
easier!
        "Thanks," she breathed, starting to unbutton his shirt again. "Now, 
where were we?" She peeled the shirt back from his chest, and leaned forward 
to kiss his nipples as she pulled the sleeves off of his arms. She dropped to 
her knees before him on Zero's Persian rug, and giggled as she hastily undid 
his belt and the snap of his jeans. Slowly, tantalizingly, she lowered his 
zipper and pulled his pants down to his knees. His underwear, bulging and 
already stained, were next, and she laughed as his penis sprang free and 
gently swatted her on the cheek, leaving a sticky stain. She reached up and 
grasped it with both hands, stroking it gently. She looked up at him, and said, 
"You'll have to excuse me if I'm a little awkward at this, I've only done it 
once before." She frowned at the memory. The Bandit caught the frown.
        "Really," he said, "With who? Anyone I know?"
        She released his penis. "Conan," she whispered.
        The Bandit stared aghast at her. "CO--WHY, for God's sake?"
        Her eyes filled with tears. "It seemed like the only way I could get 
close to you was to get in with one of your friends...."
        "Oh, Twink...." The Bandit's erection wilted. He dropped to his knees 
and held her tightly as she began to cry. 
        "He, he stuck it in my mouth and started pushing it in and, and out," 
Twink sobbed, "And I, I wanted to run away but I was afraid he'd stop me and 
maybe if I made him feel good he wouldn't, wouldn't...." She broke down.
        The Bandit rocked her in his arms, tears in his eyes. "That son of a 
bitch," he whispered. "That dirty son of a bitch, I'll kill him!"
        "NO!" She looked up at him and grasped the sides of his face with both 
hands. "I don't ever want you to mention any of this to anyone. He's never 
tried anything since, and I just want to put it behind me. I don't want to 
forget that it happened. But I do want to forget enough of the hurt so I won't 
go through the rest of my life afraid...." She sniffled a bit.
        "Twinkles, how the hell'd I ever underestimate you? You're braver and 
more mature than anyone I know!" A tear rolled down the Bandit's face.
        "Oh, I love you...." She hugged him hard. After a long moment, they 
heaved a simultaneous sigh, and helped each other up. Twink giggled as the 
Bandit waddled comically over to the bed and sat down, his pants still around 
his ankles. "Gotta get these shoes off before I kill myself," he laughed.
        He quickly undid the laces and divested himself of shoes, socks, and 
pants, as Twink came over and sat down on the bed beside him. She started at 
the scratchiness of the blanket on her bare bottom. "Hey, this is wool! No 
wonder you're never cold at night," she marveled, running a hand over the 
expanse of blanket. "It's beautiful."
        "You're beautiful, too," he whispered, running a hand down the 
exquisite curve of her spine and watching her arch her back in pleasure like a 
cat. "And tonight, you won't be cold."
        Twink looked up at him, her expression suddenly pensive. "It's funny," 
she said softly. "I've never spent the night with anyone before."
        "That's okay," he smiled, running a hand through her long golden hair. 
"You can get used to it really easily." He drew back the covers, saying, "Hey, 
I just had a thought. Let's just sleep together tonight, nothing else. It'll 
give us a chance to get to know one another better, with no pressure."
        "Are you sure?" Twink looked askance at his penis, which was already 
erect again. "I don't want to leave you like that. Won't you burst?"
        "Wha-at? No, of course not! You really do have a lot to learn, don't 
you?" The Bandit grinned at her crestfallen expression. "Come into bed."
        She smiled uncertainly, and slid under the covers beside him. The 
Bandit sighed as Twink spread her warm body out over his like a blanket and 
cuddled against him with a happy smile. She's kinda heavy, he noted, but as 
long as she doesn't stop my breathing I guess I don't mind....
        One of her hands, wandering down his belly, found and gently held his 
penis. "Good night, my love," she whispered.
        "Good night, Twink," he replied, kissing her hair.

                PART 4: Valentine's Day, continued

Mid-February 1982

        The Rainbow Wizard carefully packed away his guitar in its case, and 
closed the lid. He hefted the case easily in one hand, and smiled sweetly at 
Flower. "I had a wonderful time this evening," he said, "And I hope that we 
can do it again sometime soon."
        "Oh, I'd like that," Flower replied, picking up her own guitar. "It 
was wonderful meeting you. I was beginning to feel like I wasn't going to make 
any friends here at all. Well, goodnight!" With a wave, she turned and was 
gone, guitar case banging against her knees as she strode toward the elevator.
        The Rainbow Wizard watched her leave, his smile contemplative in a 
manner only practiced by those in the Messiah business. After a long moment, 
he sighed gustily and turned to Mary Magdalene, who'd packed her guitar away 
and was standing with her arms crossed, looking at him with an expression that 
would curdle fresh milk.
        He smiled at her disarmingly. "What's wrong, my love?"
        Mary Magdalene didn't even wind up. One strong fist came up in a blur 
and caught the Rainbow Wizard right in the gut. He stumbled backward one or
two steps with a grunt of pain, stumbled over a coffee table, and fell
backward onto it, then onto the couch behind it, with a clatter. 
        Thud, who was idly playing a round of cribbage with himself in the 
corner, raised an eyebrow at that. Definitely unstable, he thought wearily. He 
should've seen it coming.
        "I hope you're satisfied," Mary Magdalene hissed. "You fucking lecher!
I'd rip your nuts off and feed them to the fish, if they'd eat them!" 
        "What's the--oof--matter with you, Mary? What'd I do?" The Rainbow 
Wizard scrambled to his feet clumsily. He ran after Mary Magdalene as she 
grabbed her coat and stormed out the front doors of the Habitat, fuming.
        "Hey, Wiz! What about your guitars?" Thud called.
        "Please keep them in your room, Thud. I'll retrieve them later. This 
is much more important," the Rainbow Wizard called over his shoulder. He was 
out the door in an instant, gone in a blast of cold air.
        Thud watched them go, and sighed. He began to gather up his cards. 
Time to call it a night, I guess, he thought. No more fun stuff to watch.
        Mary Magdalene was walking at full steam, her back stiff and her eyes 
straight forward as she crossed the campus, heading for the northern edge of 
Arcadia's campus. Behind her, the Rainbow Wizard stumbled through the snow, 
calling, "MARY MAGDALENE, WAIT! PLEASE! TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG!"
        At those words, Mary Magdalene stopped dead in her tracks and slowly 
turned to face the Rainbow Wizard as he caught up with her, panting. The sound 
of a party in another of the dorms carried faintly over the snowy field as he
stopped just out of her reach, shivering in the wind. 
        "Tell you what's wrong?" Her whisper was thick with disbelief. "Tell 
you WHAT'S WRONG? YOU STEAMING SHIT! HOW DARE YOU?" The whisper turned into a 
shriek in the space of a half sentence. "Do you think I'm blind? Or just 
stupid! I SAW you tonight, the whole fucking NIGHT, drooling all over that 
little cunt like a goddamned sled dog in heat! You motherfucking HYPOCRITE!"
        "Mary--"
        "SHUT UP!" Her eyes were wild in the dim moonlight, and spittle flew 
from her lower lip. She paused for a sobbing breath, and continued in a choked 
monotone. "Three years I sat with you, you son of a bitch. Three YEARS! Every 
other girl in the goddamned high school was out having a normal life, going on 
dates, having REAL boyfriends, and I just sat in a chair by a hospital bed 
waiting for you to open your eyes and tell me you loved me one last time 
before you DIED!" She gasped for breath. "I watched them open you up and haul 
out your insides! I watched them fill you with chemicals and shoot you full of 
radiation and I watched your h-h-hair fall out and I listened to them t-tell 
m-me that y-y-you were g-g-gonna DIE...." She fell to her knees and buried her 
face in her hands, crying hysterically.
        The Rainbow Wizard reached out and gently laid a hand on her shoulder. 
She shrugged away from it roughly, not looking up. "No, don't pull away," he 
said calmly. "Are you trying to tell me that'd you'd rather I'd died?"
        "No," she sighed into her hands, her sobs subsiding a bit.
        "It sounds that way to me," he continued. "It sounds like you're 
blaming me for wasting an awful lot of your life that you could have spent 
elsewhere, doing other things. If I'd died...."
        "Oh, shut up," Mary Magdalene whispered.
        "No, I won't. This is important to you, or you wouldn't have hurt me 
that way." His tone never wavered, a perfect psychiatrist's drone, comforting 
and insistent. "Where would you be if I were dead? Would you be happier?"
        "N-no." Mary Magdalene slowly got to her feet. Her knees were soaked 
through and freezing, and she shivered under her coat.
        "We both know what you did for fun before you and I got together," the 
Rainbow Wizard said sternly. "I don't consider hanging out at the Palladium 
and trying to get into the music business from the mattress up to be a 
terribly rewarding future, do you?"
        "That's not FAIR!" Mary Magdalene sniffled. "I was making FRIENDS in 
the business! I had CONTACTS! I...I...." Her head came up proudly. "I gave 
some of those visiting musicians the best times they'd ever HAD!"
        "And are you a better person for it?"
        She glared at him, her eyes dark pits of rage.
        "Why were you so angry at me tonight?"
        "You know damn well why I was angry at you! Why I'm STILL angry at 
you! Where the hell do you get off doing the romantic warrior routine with 
that sawed-off little twat? She's NOTHING! Just a stuck-up brat from Crystal 
City who seems to think she can just waltz in and waltz out with MY MAN!" 
        "Your man?" His soft voice carried the faintest hint of danger.
        "You're--damn--RIGHT!" She jerked a thumb up, pointing at herself. 
"Stand there and tell yourself you'd be alive to CHASE that little shit if I 
hadn't brought you through this! I wouldn't make fun of you when your hair 
grew back a different color, I held your hand while you puked up the whole 
damn medicine chest, I changed your bedpans--hell, I even changed your I.V. a 
couple of times when the nurses were too busy!" Her tone gradually took on a 
note of triumph. "You owe me your life, you stinking cur! If it hadn't been 
for me, you would've just given up and DIED! This life you're living is yours 
because I gave it to you and YOU OWE ME! And I will NOT have you sniffing 
around at the crotches of every female that passes by! Is that clear?"
        The Rainbow Wizard regarded her cautiously. "Very clear," he said. "I 
hadn't realized that you were so unsure of my love for you that you could 
misconstrue what happened tonight. That's such a shame...."
        "Oh, come OFF it! You're not going to tell me that there was nothing 
going on between you-- she would've stuck her face in your crotch if I hadn't 
been there, and you know it!"
        "Yes, maybe she would have," the Rainbow Wizard nodded. "And you're 
quite convinced that I would have thrown away everything we've built and 
gleefully let her carry me away?"
        Mary Magdalene was silent, her gaze wavering the tiniest bit.
        "Are you so convinced that she's your superior that I couldn't 
possibly resist her," he persisted. "Are you so sure that I wouldn't have just 
told her, 'No, my heart belongs to another. You are lovely, but you are not 
for me,' and made her leave it at that?" He shook his head. "That's the most 
depressing news I've heard in a long time." He turned and began to walk back 
to the Habitat. "I wonder if the Bandit's still awake? He'd get a real charge 
out of hearing this...."
        Mary Magdalene called after him, "Wait!" Her voice was still full of 
tears, but now they were tears of misery rather than anger.
        "No, I'm cold. I don't have a jacket," he said, still walking away.
        Mary Magdalene ran the few steps that brought her to his side, and 
opened her coat, casting it over his shoulders and drawing him inside it with 
her. "Don't go," she whispered. "I'm sorry I misjudged you. It just seemed--"
        "I know what it must have seemed like," he said softly, turning to 
face her. He slipped his arms around her, and she drew her hands into the coat 
sleeves and held it shut behind his back, a warm cocoon enveloping them. "But 
if I'm to be denied even the chance to admire a beautiful girl without seeming 
a traitor, wouldn't it be better for me just to be struck blind?"
        "Oh, don't say things like that," she whispered, and kissed him. 
        "I love you. Never forget that. I love you." 
        "I love you...."
        They stood huddled together under her coat, kissing tenderly, for what 
seemed like hours. Strange sounds seemed to come from somewhere inside the 
coat's folds: first the clink of a belt buckle, then the distinct zip of a 
zipper being opened. Mary Magdalene gasped, then laughed deep in her throat 
and kissed the Wizard even harder. Another zipping noise. 
        "Ooohh," Mary Magdalene husked. "What are you going to do with THAT?"
        "Nothing, if it freezes off," the Rainbow Wizard smiled.
        She laughed and reached up to nibble his ear. "I have a place to keep 
it warm," she whispered. "Hurry."
        The next few moments must have been as funny as hell to watch, as the 
coat bounced and flapped a bit around the two bodies jockeying for position. 
The edge of the coat whipped open for an instant in the wind, exposing a brief 
glimpse of what lay in the shadows: a silky thigh, the black curl of pubic 
hair, and something that seemed almost to glow....
        Then the pair turned to let the wind blow the coat shut again, and 
Mary Magdalene gasped and threw her head back. "UH! YEAH, YEAH!"
        Mmmmmmm...." The Rainbow Wizard bent forward and licked her neck as 
she drew herself back like a bow in his arms and began to gasp and moan in a 
familiar rhythm. Suddenly she went rigid, keening like a wolf as her orgasm 
swept over her, heat and bitter cold mingled in the night. She cried out in 
ecstasy as he gave a loud grunt and shuddered in her embrace, his eyes shut 
and his head lowered with the effort. 
        For a long while they stood very still, just holding each other. Then, 
they straightened up, kissing gently, and the odd buckling and zipping noises 
came back. A police car went by on the narrow street, its siren blaring, 
causing them to start like frightened deer and cling to one another. Then they 
laughed with the release of tension, and turned to leave the field.
        "Would you like to go back for your coat?"
        "No, I'll hold you close until we get to your house."

        Conan crunched through the snow toward the brightly lit courtyard that 
fronted the Student Union, rubbing his tired eyes. I should know better than 
to read stuff like that before going to bed alone, he said disgustedly to 
himself. Now I'm gonna have to drink myself into a coma to be able to sleep! 
Bitch Goddesses of Thamazor, who'd I think I was kidding?
        Students were going in and out of the Union, enjoying the late night 
hours of the bar and dance club as a release from studying. Conan caught a 
sudden whiff of grilling hamburgers, and his stomach responded with a burbling 
growl. Maybe I'll eat first, he decided ruefully. You can never metabolize 
enough protein....
        "Let go of me, you pig! LET GO! HEELLLLLPPPP!"
        Conan's head jerked up at the sound of the terrified scream.
        "Shut up, you bitch!" The roar of a drunken voice was followed by a 
slap and a cry of pain. Conan located the source of the sound; it was a 
shadowed area under one of the walkways, famous for private trysts at night.
He kicked into a dead run and was there in bare seconds, his massive legs 
covering the distance in the time it took the students nearby in the courtyard 
to look around for the source of the scream.
        An attractive young woman was struggling on the concrete bench with a 
young man who was trying to hold her wrists. Conan grabbed him by the scruff 
of the neck and bodily hauled him off of her, then up off the bench.
        "Hey, what's the--" The boy's voice cut off abruptly as Conan turned 
him around and he got a good look at his assailant. He swallowed, then tried 
for a shaky smile.
        "Leave her alone," Conan said with a friendly grin.
        "Uh, look, man, me and my girlfriend were just--UNGH!" With a sudden 
shove, Conan slammed him back bodily against the wall of the underpass. 
knocking his breath away. 
        "Leave, I said," Conan repeated pleasantly. The boy gained his feet, 
gasped for breath, and took off like a spooked raccoon, pushing aside the few 
curious students who were just arriving on the scene.
        Conan didn't even watch him leave. He turned his attention to the 
girl, who was sitting on the bench, hugging herself and shivering.
        "Are you all right? Did he hurt you?" Conan held out a hand to her. 
Hesitantly, she took it, and he led her out into the streetlights. There was a 
spattering of applause from the few people who'd remained to see what the 
ruckus was about. 
        "Yeah! Conan saves another damsel in distress!"
        "Way to go, Conan!"
        Conan grinned at the crowd, eating up the applause. His smile died on 
his face when he saw the girl clearly in the light. Her eye was rapidly 
swelling and turning black as he watched, and she was obviously in a lot of 
pain.
        "Thank you," she said in a feeble whisper.
        "Let me walk you to the hospital," he replied. "You should get a cold 
compress for that eye."
        "Okay," she nodded. It took an obvious effort, but she smiled.
        He offered an arm to her, and said to the crowd, "I'm taking her to
Wright Memorial Trauma Ward. If the Security Squad want a statement, they can
find us there, okay?" There were a few scattered nods of assent. 
        "Come on." He smiled at her as she took his arm, and led her around 
the Union, toward the highway and the hospital.

        The noise and lights in the Clean Room were at their height. Zero 
cavorted on the dance floor, his body shaking to the beat as he watched Diva 
cut loose. She was squeezed into a spandex leotard in a tiger-stripe pattern 
and a pair of skintight black pants, and her eyes were shut as she swayed in 
time to the music. Zero's eyes were fastened on her crotch, and on a small 
wedge-shaped bulge that went utterly unnoticed by everyone else in the room, 
as did the tiny remote control clutched in his fist and the thin wire that ran 
from his hand into the waist of her tights. He gave the power button a gentle 
stroke, and watched Diva contort and thrash in what must have seemed a 
particularly enthusiastic dance move.
        "Oh Lord God Jesus Christ Almighty!" She threw herself at him, biting 
his neck and grinding her pelvis against his. He could feel the faint thrum of 
the clit-vibe against his penis as she frantically grabbed for the remote. 
"Gimme that thing you sonofabitch don't keep turning it onnanoff yer killing 
me my clit's gonna bust wide open you sonofAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" She hugged him hard 
as he gave the power button another jab, and he deftly held it out of her 
reach. One or two other people were noticing that Diva appeared a bit too 
enthusiastic about the song, and were looking their way with a mixture of 
confusion and amusement.
        "Time to go, liebchen," Zero said quietly, flicking the remote off and 
leading Diva off the dance floor and through the crowd. She followed along 
behind him, still trying to pry the remote from his hands. 
        A crowd was just dispersing out in the hallway of the Union where the 
entrances to the Burger Bar and the Clean Room met; from the broken glassware 
and the small spot of blood on the carpet, it looked as if the campus police 
had had a rough time with someone in the Bar. But Diva was too far gone to 
notice, and Zero was having too much fun torturing her to give the situation 
more than a passing glance. He whispered, "Ready to go home?"
        "NO NO God no," Diva moaned, arms about his neck and teeth nibbling at 
his Adam's apple, "I'll never make it home you gotta do me here you gotta do 
me here gimme that thing you sonofabitch I'm dying!" She made one last attempt 
to get the remote from him, then gave up and began to rub her hands up and 
down the length of his penis, outlined against the crotch of his jeans. Zero 
blinked in surprise and did his best to start a nonchalant stroll down the 
hall away from the clubs, but Diva kept right beside him, groaning in his ear 
and trying to get a hand into his pants. "Gimme Jimi...gimme Jimi...."
        Zero nodded politely to an elderly female professor who was walking 
by, her flabbergasted eyes on Diva's busy hands. "Sorry about this," he said 
pleasantly, "She's had a bit too much to drink."
        "So I see," said the professor, hurrying by with a sniff.
        "You bastard you bastard you BAAAAAAAA!" Diva shrieked and laughed 
like a madwoman, both feet leaving the ground for a moment as Zero nudged the 
button again. "I'm gonna getcha! I'm gonna--GETCHA!" She suddenly pushed Zero 
as hard as she could. Taken by surprise, he stumbled sideways into an open 
doorway that led into a small ticket office for the Student Theatre. It was 
empty, the cash register unlocked and open; the teller was obviously out for a 
moment to deposit the night's gate in the safe upstairs. Diva slammed Zero up 
against the cash register and fell to her knees, frantically tearing at his 
belt buckle. In desperation, Zero kicked the door shut behind her and held it 
with one outstretched foot. His flailing hand reached over and pulled down the 
curtain on the teller window. The last thing he saw was the face of a young
blonde freshman, her eyes bugging out and her mouth agape as she caught a
brief glimpse of Jimi as the curtain went down, and Diva went down right along
with it. 
        She wasn't in the mood to mess around. One deep breath, a whispered 
screech of "Gimme!" and down she went, all the way to the base of his thick, 
slick shaft, sucking for all she was worth and screaming around the hardness 
filling her mouth and throat. Zero closed his eyes as she bobbed up and down, 
up and down.
        "C'mon, glbph, you bas, gmmmph, bastard, glmmph, give it, blf, give it 
to me, mmmmbl, give it to me, gmllMMMMMM!" Her body went rigid as Zero turned 
the vibrator on full power, and she did something neither he nor she was 
expecting: she bit down. Hard.
        "YYYYEEEEEEOOOOOOWWWWWWWTTCHH!" Off went the vibrator, and down into