~LAFF-CUE-ARCHIVE: sf-trip-9.Z
~Subject: Alex and Laylah's trip to SF - part 9 (March 18)

    General disclaimer: there may be a largish amount of material
not directly related to a.s.b, and what IS so related may be not to
your taste, as we do a large range of play, from the sweetest D/S
and spanking to cuts, burns, &tc - and I'm just describing what
actually happened.  Flames welcome, but I may well flame you
back...:-)

   I tried to remember to get permission from everybody we met to
mention them on a.s.b ... but forgot in a few cases... and didn't
keep written notes, so if you find yourself unexpectedly
unmentioned here, I apologize, but it must be one of the cases
about which I was uncertain - sorry!  Incidentally, if anybody
wonders whether it's all right to mention me and/or Laylah in posts
here, go ahead - blanket permission granted.

   These posts will be cut up at some compromise between reasonable
length and chronological boundaries.  As there's so much to relate,
I have not been editing as carefully as usual, so I apologize for
any errors!

    Thu, Mar 18

    I wake early, feeling refreshed and rested.  Laylah is
slumbering very heavily, and she asked me not to wake her up since
last night she was up so late with Cassandra and a group of women,
so I go shower alone, shave, suit up, and get down to the hotel's
lobby early enough to enjoy a proper (read "huge") breakfast before
a leisurely walk to Moscone Center for work.

   Things are less hectic today in the fair areas; stands properly
set up, crowds of reasonable dimensions.  I'm a bit peeved to find
out that the advertised "internet access" is two terminals, in a
heavily trafficked aisle, which you have to use standing up, and
with signs asking for no more than 10 minutes' sessions... I had
been hoping to be able to at least browse mail and a.s.b.  Oh well,
I might not have had time enough anyway.

   I finally manage to get copies of the COSE announcements, and
wander around buying books and CDROMs which I had surveyed
yesterday, and enjoying the shows which many stands put on - here
in Europe we don't really know how to DO trade fairs, you know -
neat touches like Computer Associates' robot, or Rabbit Software's
stage magician, do liven things up so!

   I have a lunch appointment with Italian friends who are here for
the fair - actually I only expected to see D, but I'm glad that his
new girlfriend M is also here, not least because she's absolutely
gorgeous as well as a very nice person.  D's about as vanilla as it
gets, but he's great fun to be around, and besides, us few
unix-gurus-wearing-suits-and-ties must stick together!-)

   They ask if we can go pick up Laylah as well, since M would like
to know her, but, alas, she's not around - I mention that she'll be
over around Columbus St checking if she can get tattooed by Ed
Hardy or Eddie Deutsche - and get funny reactions!  Well, I fully
expected D's grimace, but M gets all enthusiastical about it and
asks for more details...

   It turns out that the "vanilla" attribute definitely only
applies to one half of that couple!  She's positively turned on,
not just by the idea of tattoos, but also by piercings and by my 
somewhat vague mention of "other permanent marks on the body"...
and from her reaction when I speak about how painful it can be, I
suspect she might share other, ahem, tastes with Laylah, too.

   I don't push that thread of discourse because poor D is already
far too uncomfortable as is.  He also more or less vetoes my
suggestion that they might meet Laylah at the 'munch tonight "with
lots of other interesting kinky people", with some reasonable
excuse about jetlag.  We slip into talk of computers and telecom,
and he's soon back into comfortable territory; M is also very much
into it, fortunately.  Still, it is her who insists that we meet
again for lunch tomorrow, overriding some feeble objections on his
part - it's fine with me, of course, and I do hope we can have
Laylah with us as well.

   I spend the afternoon at the technical-conference part, then get
back to the hotel.  Laylah is there, bubbling with enthusiasm:  she
DOES have a new tattoo!  On her right flank, around the spiral of
cuts and burns that I have slowly been carving there.  We had an
idea about having the area enclosed in a tattooed spiral line, but
Eddie Deutsche "saw" things differently through his artist's eyes,
and Laylah accepted his suggestion:  it is a sort of cardioid
shape, outlined in bright red, the "point" open to the outside...
somehow, despite its austere simplicity and abstractness, it merges
with the pattern of scars to suggest a "Sacred Heart" symbol.  I
gulp to think of what responsibility it will be to add yet more
scars to that without ruining the overall effect... I'm glad we did
that heavy ring-burn day before yesterday, as it provides the focus
for the whole - THAT would have been _very_ hard to "retrofit"!

   Cassandra arrives, then Onyx and Gus, and we all drive towards
the Burgermunch in Gus's large car.  Onyx is clearly preoccupied
with other stuff.  She spends most of the time with her notebook
computer, apparently going through her novel's material, making
little changes here and there.  I wonder if she's just engrossed in
some new-found plot twist, or if she has other problems and is
burying them this way... I'm a bit sad that she's ignoring me, but
I figure I can hardly do anything about it anyway, so I sigh and
just hope it will go away by itself.

   On the way, we stop at Fakir's house:  Cassandra wants to choose
a nipple ring to put on Laylah's right nipple (currently, only
Laylah's left one is pierced), and more importantly refresh her
knowledge about how to do piercings since she plans to pierce
Laylah herself.  Fakir is really a delightful person... Laylah just
gazes at him, dumbfounded, as if not believing she can have such an
idol of hers in front of her, be in his living room as he chats
about her nipples and hard shiny metal going through them...

   And finally we are at the 'munch!  It's early enough, so there
aren't many people around yet, and we can properly survey the
logistical situation.  Kirk's appear to be an OK burgerplace, but
there's little or no choice in sweets and coffee.  However, just
across the street is an excellent-looking coffeehouse-cum-bookshop,
so that will be no problem.  The lighting situation worries me
more: there is none at all on the outdoors tables where we pervs
gather, and while the modest amount of streetlighting that gets
here seems to be enough for most people, my own night vision is a
total loss.  Oh well. So I'll hardly see the people I'm talking
to...

   I get burgers and sodas for me and Laylah, then I sit down, so
at least I won't stumble; maybe with time my eyes will adapt a bit
to the gloom.  I meet many people who had never heard of me (and
viceversa), several which I had already met in these last few days,
and a few which I had really been hoping to see (well, I'll at
least be able to recall their voices:-) - Kayvan's family, sweetest
Roo, Rhiannon... I try to make sure that they all know about the
party at STella's on Saturday, and invite them (as STella and wjr
has told us we could), and they tentatively agree to come to it.

   A pleasant surprise is that several a.s.b lurkers have taken the
occasion to meet me and Laylah and come tell us that they enjoy our
posts.  Laylah's charm, of course, soon attracts most of them;
she's very much in her element, feeling surrounded by friendship
and affection, free to pull all stops on her own contagious 
enthusiasm - and HER night vision is exceptionally good, of course
(one would expect nothing less from my beloved Tiger, obviously:-).

   One very ttimid, beautiful guy which I take for a lurker sticks
out amongst the others - he introduces himself as <normal first
name>, and explains that he's driven all the way from <place almost
1000 miles away> to get here to meet me and Laylah.  That's
impressive enough, but I'm further struck by the facts that he
brings me greetings from my dear Adrian, who unfortunately was
unable to come, and that he sticks close to me longer than the
others, despite my rather silent mood, before joining the throng
near Laylah to go greet her.  And what a soft, silky voice, fine
features, and charming long blonde beard and hair, as far as I was
able to see in this darkness...

   I should give him more attention, but I'm fascinated by Onyx's
dark, brooding figure sitting alone, far from the crowd, in the
darkest corner, her black hair strewn on her black cape.  Is her
mood as black as her shadowy figure?  Dare I go to her, risk
disturbing her thoughts?  Maybe she's unraveling right now some
difficult part of her novel's plot...

   She solves my doubts by coming to me herself, with Gus, and
asking if I want to go across the street for coffee.  Her tone is
sweet, gentle, serene, and I feel foolish for having had all those
doubts. Besides, I do very much want coffee, and surely spending
some time in well-lit surroundings will cheer me up, too.  Finally,
I'm a bookshop fan and I still haven't been in one in SF - so, I'm
really very glad to get up and go across the street with Onyx and
Gus.

   The coffee is indeed excellent, and the bookshop interesting. 
I only stay there for a short while, though, for, now that the
coffee and the books and the lights have cheered me up again, and
I feel sure of Onyx's well-being, I want to get back to the 'munch
again. I'd like to dispell any unfavourable impression I may have
given by my previous mood... Onyx and Gus stay here, browsing;
they'll come back to the Burgermunch later.

   I cross the road back to the 'munch, and I find the situation
has markedly improved.  The restaurant proper has closed; most
people have moved from the covered tables to the area nearer to its
door, which has far better illumination from street lighting, while
still being hidden from the street by hedges.  I go greet Laylah
first, just in case some reassurance is in order, about my absence
or  my previous rather moody state (I need not have worried - she's
surrounded by, and basking in, her admirers, showing off her
tattoos and marks, serenely happy and oblivious to any problems
whatsoever).

   "I'm here, darling, and wide awake now that I've had my coffee",
I tell her.  And she - "Oh, good!  By the way, where's Orbis? I
thought he was with you - don't you two want to spend some time
together?"

   My ears must be failing me.  "Who?!", I check.  "Why, Orbis,
darling, that is, <normal first name>... surely you met him
already?  After all, he drove all the way from <place almost 1000
miles away> to see us...", and with that she turns back to the
pleasant task of dazzling people with her smile (and the many other
components of her charm, of course).

   Meanwhile, I just stand there, rather dazzled myself.  ORBIS?!
Why didn't he SAY so?!  I shake myself out of it and start looking
around for the young man I had taken for a lurker; now that there
is some light, I have no trouble finding him - and I discover that
his thin, wispy beauty is easily superior to what I had earlier
been able to discern in the dark, and indeed of lump-in-throat
level.  But, it doesn't matter - from his posts and the mail we've
exchanged, I know of a much more important beauty, that of his
soul.  I embrace him; I stare into his eyes, I stare through them;
we start talking.

   Later I find myself sitting in padmasana on the concrete floor,
he sitting in front of me, my hands on his shoulders; my eyes, and
his, are full of tears.  All the pain that he has suffered is still
deep inside him, of course; and, a core of it will forever remain;
but I think - I hope - that the acid of these tears we've shared
has corroded away the bitterness of it, the desperation, made it
easier for him to accept it, contemplate it, cherish it, as the
part of himself that it is.  We rise.

   Onyx and Gus are back, sitting on the edge of a table near us.
She has a book in her hands, and hands it to me with a flourish and
a smile - "Since you had said that you had not read it yet...", she
tells me.  And Gus adds, "I'm sure you will enjoy this as much as
his first book".  It's Pirsig's "Lila", and indeed it's one book
that I and Laylah were definitely going to purchase on this trip -
and the fact that they thought of buying it for us, and their
signatures and their words of love for us on the inner cover, melt
my heart and would fill my eyes with tears, had they been dry yet. 
I embrace them both, I start thanking them as warmly as this
deserves.  But - wait!  A pressing practical matter must be looked
after first...

   Orbis was planning to leave after the 'munch.  I tell him of the
party planned for Saturday night, I invite him to stay for it, I
introduce him to STella who (ah, my beloved darling!) also agrees
to give him a place to sleep till then...

   I turn back towards Onyx, who's looking alternatively at me and
at Laylah with a sort of amused patience.  I start walking towards
her, but I'm intercepted by a sweet-faced plump young man with
thick glasses, thick, wild black curls, short bushy beard, and an
unflappable-looking smile on his face.  "Alex?", he says - "Hi,
pleased to meet you, I'm Roy", and offers his hand to shake. His
voice is very tender, caress-like.

   I'm surely not gaining much of a reputation for quick wit
tonight, as I stand there dumbfounded, my eyes roving all over him,
leaving him with his hand outthrust awkwardly.  "THE Roy?" is all
that comes to me to say... he assents, starting to add something
about there probably being others, but my arms are already around
his shoulders.  Handshake INDEED - as if we hadn't been flirting
shamelessly in front of tens of thousands of people for these many
months...!

   Our mouths meet - it's always a little awkward when both people
kissing wear glasses - but I can't remove either of ours, my hands
have found his curly hair and wouldn't stop teasing and caressing
it and sinking in its depths even if the items to remove were much
more, hrmph, *interesting* than mere eyeglasses...:-)

   When our mouths are free again (alas, always too soon!) we get
to talking - also an interesting pursuit, after all...  I tell him,
too, of the forthcoming party.  He lovingly reminds me that, while
still defining himself as a bottom, he would VERY much like to top
ME in particular - and specifically with a switchblade knife he's
been saving and sharpening just for me... I shudder in
anticipation; he knows how hard that specific sort of play is for
me, he has been teasing me about it in e-mail for a while, and of
all people who could be helping me overcome that particular limit,
I can't think of one I'd rather have helping me than sweetest Roy.

   Giving him a very general assent, I ask him to negotiate all
details with Laylah, my Lady: she IS my owner, after all, the one
most directly interested in checking that I, her favourite toy,
don't get damaged.  One nice thing about being owned is being able
to bottom in such a heavy scene, finding each detail a surprise as
it comes, while basking in the knowledge that it's all been
negotiated in advance... I wouldn't have it any other way!

   Roy excitedly runs to Laylah for the negotiation, and I turn my
attention back to Onyx.  Why, I haven't been wooing her all night!
At once I endeavour to compensate.  She seems to be in a receptive
mood for my flirting, and several of my remarks are greeted with a
slight shade of pink on her deliciously pale cheeks - and a
somewhat outrageous one even with laughs all around and a comment
by one spectator that such a style of wooing must be taught in high
school in Italy... hmmm, did I just say "spectator"?

   Ooops, yes, we do have a small crowd around us, apparently quite
interested and amused.  Glancing towards Laylah I see her and
Cassandra team-topping Roy - phew, that looks rather *heavy*! -
apparently a few of her hangers-on have chosen to come see what I
was up to instead.  Well, I doubt Onyx is enjoying being at the
focus of this collective attention, so I throttle the flirting down
and content myself with sighing and staring into her wide,
night-black eyes - a pastime I'd never get tired of... the small
crowd soon disperses.

   It's getting rather late when Josh also arrives at last, and he
greets me as warmly as usual, but I see he's *rather* interested in
Roy as well... indeed, it's with Roy (and nipple clamps) that he
chooses to do some playing.  Hmmm... lucky for me I'm not the
jealous sort, I guess:-).

   People start leaving, and I guess we'd better get going too -
tomorrow will be a day of work for both me and Gus, after all.  I,
Laylah and Cassandra get back with Onyx and Gus in his car, and he
drives us all downtown, to the place Cassandra's car is parked. We
agree to meet tomorrow for dinner at the "Owl and Monkey" coffee
shop, then Onyx and Gus leave, and Cassandra drives us back to our
hotel.  She's so tired she doesn't even get out of her car, but
just kisses us goodnight there.

   Despite the very late hour, Laylah is not sleepy when we get to
our room - I guess that's because she's slept until late this
morning.  I try to hint at the fact that *I*, for once, can't keep
my eyes open - and, alas, she chooses to take this the wrong way.
"I should have guessed you'd say that, after the way you've been
ignoring me all evening!".  

   *Ignoring* her?!  I protest and try to explain - and it goes
downhill from there. A long discussion ensues about what it means
to us to be poyamorous, to be an open couple, to share, to love
other people, to leave each other breathing space... in short, many
things that, while important, even crucial, I keep thinking we've
delved into as deeply as needed during the last seventeen years -
things that I really don't see why we should be spending the small
(and the not-so-small-any-more) hours of the night on...

   Finally she does go to sleep, sobbing and crying softly, and I
don't have an ounce of energy left to do anything about it, so I
just fall down like a log to a short but deep sleep before it's
time to rise for work... I *still* don't understand what's wrong
with her (all that is wrong with ME is a bad sleep shortage), but,
whatever it is, it will have to wait until tomorrow.  Sigh.  Don't
such silly problems EVER stop arising in a couple's life...? 
Apparently, they don't.  Oh well, is my last thought before I do
sleep, whatever - this IS well worth it, if it's the price to pay
to spend my life with this wonderful woman; such a treasure would
be cheap at a hundred time this price.  Then sleep, merciful, takes
me.

    Alex