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From: "M.C.G." <mcg@bartra.demon.co.uk>
Newsgroups: alt.magazines.pornographic,alt.sex,alt.sex.children,alt.sex.first-time,alt.sex.girls,alt.sex.pre-teens,alt.sex.stories,alt.sex.stories.incest,alt.sex.young,alt.stories.incest,uw.alt.sex.stories,alt.sex.voyeurism,alt.sex.pedophilia
Subject: "THE DOORS TO GAYLE'S FUTURE" - PART ONE
Date: Sat, 15 Jun 96 03:00:05 GMT
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                      MERRILL, CASTLE & GRAY (uk)

                      Adult Books On The Internet 


         WARNING:   THIS STORY  CONTAINS  EXPLICIT REFERENCE   TO  
         EXPLICIT INCEST, UNDER-AGE SEX etc. PERSONS OFFENDED  BY 
         SUCH MATTER SHOULD NOT READ IT. 


         ANY  PERSON UNDER THE AGE OF EIGHTEEN YEARS MUST  OBTAIN 
         PARENTAL CONSENT BEFORE READING. 


                               Foreword 
                               ~~~~~~~~ 


         Readers   of  `Tomorrow's  Family?', recently serialised 
         in  this newsgroup, will know the professional  standing 
         of  the  father  of the family concerned,  `Alex'  as  a 
         hypno-therapist  with wide experience of the  cause  of, 
         problems  arising  from  and/or  answers  to   questions 
         related  to the practice of Incest. Albeit the topic  is 
         controversial,  E-mailed  interest and  support of   the 
         airing  of  the  subject has led `Alex' to  obtain   the 
         permission  of some of his `patients' for their  stories 
         to be told. 


         Although  the work of a Merrill, Castle and Gray  staff-
         writer, readers should remember before publication,  the 
         manuscript has been checked and approved for  factuality 
         and  accuracy  both by `Alex' AND  the `patient'.   Only 
         names  and, in some cases, dates have been changed   for 
         purposes of protection. 


            This is another of our dramatised, but true-account                   
                          "CASEBOOK SERIES. 
          
                   e-mail: `list-mcg@bartra.demon.co.uk' 

                     for a complete, up-to-date list.


         +~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~+

           Points to ponder...

           More usually regarded as the reward of the  righteous, 
         could it be that along with so many other things, incest 
         could occasionally be an event, an occurrence `destined' 
         to happen, or even demanded, by a capricious Fate?

           Or,   in  defending  something  seen  by  society   as 
         reprehensible,  although  a very weak one,  is  such  an 
         theory just merely a `defence'?

           But,  well  beyond your control,  suppose  you  became 
         caught  up  in events involving those  around  you,  and 
         whilst following the non-optional sole path circumstance 
         defined,    became  firmly  convinced  you  were   being 
         inexorably pushed towards a critical point when you  had 
         to  decide between the happiness of a truly-loved -  and 
         helpless  - one and your own conscience, what would  you 
         do?

           On moral, legal, conventional, `respectable'  grounds, 
         although knowingly sentencing the loved-one to life-long 
         misery,  for  which path would you opt?   Could  you  be 
         like  this man, who sacrificed his conscience and  chose 
         to pass through - 


                     "THE DOORS TO GAYLE'S FUTURE"
                      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                             Chapter One
                             ~~~~~~~~~~~


           It  was only the other week, at one of  those  Mayoral 
         charity  dinner-dance  THINGS  we  all  have  to  attend 
         somewhere  along the line of Life.   As we  glided  past 
         tables  full of the dowagers of our  community,  sitting 
         like     knitting-women    watching    whilst     French 
         Revolutionaries  lopped the heads off  aristocrats,  her 
         dyed  red  hair  nodding as she leant  towards  her  co-
         knitter,  one  dear old-biddy said in a  furtive  stage-
         whisper,  "How  nice to see a happy  May  and  September 
         marriage".   Realising we were within earshot, her blue-
         rinsed friend quickly said "Yes, they do make a handsome 
         couple, don't they?"   


           However  flexible  the mind, old habits die  hard  and 
         even  after  six  years,  prone  to  occasionally  still 
         feeling  wobbly  about the  entire  situation,  grasping 
         Gayle tightly as we danced on, I felt her giggle.    "If 
         only they knew", she whispered  "Her hair would go grey.   
         Or even drop out."  


           At the end of the Ball, the milling local dignitaries, 
         Council Officials, little-businessmen trying to be  big-
         businessmen  and  the  hoi polloi formed  into  a  large 
         circle for our National Anthem.   Singing the third  and 
         fourth lines, above the assembly's muted drone of  `Send 
         her victorious, happy and glorious', from next-to-me and 
         just loud enough for only me to hear, Gayle quietly sang 
         `I  want  you very much - to kiss and hold  and  touch'.   
         Nervously  peering round to see if anyone had  heard,  I 
         squeezed her hand.


           Taking  our  place in the pecking-order  to  take  our 
         leave of our hosts, we eventually escaped, and  skipping 
         down the steps of the Victorian monstrosity which passes 
         for  our Town Hall, Gayle led the race to where our  car 
         was  parked.   Eagerly, she sat forward in her  seat  as 
         heading  for  home, the car swung out of town  onto  the 
         coast road.   


           It  was  a glorious, warm night.   Without  cities  or 
         towns  to  cast  reflected glow,  with  just  occasional 
         shooting-stars to marvel at, jet-black and speckled with 
         millions  of stars,   a cloudless sky etched the  Moon's 
         shimmering  path  cutting  across  the  English  Channel 
         towards us.   Contented with our little lot, and  loving 
         my company, I looked forward to reaching home.  


           But  twelve  miles  was about  seven  miles  too  far.   
         Tucking  her legs up on the seat, deliberately  enticing 
         me,  Gayle's hand rested on my knee.   Her head  against 
         my  shoulder, faint traces of  strawberry-scented,  warm 
         woman  rose to my nostrils as her fingers  spider-walked 
         up  and  down  my thigh. The  cloth  of  my  dinner-suit 
         refusing  to  give  way,  it became  time  to  ease  the 
         situation  and  as I made the turn into  a  narrow  lane 
         leading to a favourite headland, Gayle breathed a  husky 
         "Y-e-s-s".


           Particularly  when  confronted with a 200  feet  sheer 
         drop  to a cold sea, being old and of  `belt-and-braces' 
         mentality, I set the hand-brake and shoved the car  into 
         gear as Gayle pushed back her seat and eagerly clambered 
         into the back of the car.  Looking at her as I  divested 
         myself of my stuffy jacket,  removing the pins which had 
         kept  it  piled Junoesque on her head  all  evening  and 
         shaking  her  long  hair  loose  to  tumble  across  her 
         shoulders,  the skirt of her  copper-coloured  ball-gown 
         was  already above her knees.   Grinning as she  saw  me 
         clamber between the front-seats, wriggling herself  into 
         the corner of the car and pushing down on the cushion, a 
         long leg swung up to rest on the back of my seat.    Her 
         hands  hitching her skirt higher, her other leg  heading 
         towards the back of the car, in the moonlight, following 
         the sheen of her stockings, the white skin of her thighs 
         suddenly stopped as black panties started.


           Struggling  to  open my fly and get my  erection  out, 
         moving  towards  her,  I watched  Gayle's  fingers  slip 
         between  her open thighs, and clawing the gusset of  her 
         briefs  to one side, what I knew to be soft brown  pubic 
         curls  showed  stark black in the shadows  as  thrusting 
         urgently, her abdomen came at me.   "Quickly, I want it, 
         darling.   Do me.   Do me now!"


           In  this mood, Gayle was already wet and waiting,  and 
         with  her  perfume mixing with the aroma of  musky  sex, 
         needing no other stimulation, I was as ready for her  as 
         I had ever been.  Tinged with just a trace of soft mint, 
         her  warm breath washed over me as her lips found  mine, 
         and  my  perking  penis coming  into  contact  with  her 
         vagina,  to make the first penetration deep as we  fused 
         together, wrapping her legs around my waist, she  pushed 
         herself onto me.  


           A  few quick, deep thrusts and my  testicles  foretold 
         the  beginning  of  orgasm; with  a  shivering  flutter, 
         animal passion overtook us as  sperm started its journey 
         and  a million needles pricking my scalp and  shoulders, 
         Gayle's gorgeous lips opening to scream softly as  vice-
         like,  those  long legs clamped me to  her  curvy  young 
         body.    As  her vagina swallowed the first  jets,  both 
         hands  pushing  me away so she could do what  she  loved 
         most,  looking  down at her belly,  her  sparkling  eyes 
         opened  wide in excitement at seeing my penis oozing  in 
         and out of her, the scream changing to a sexily-low  `o-
         o-o-h-h,  d-a-r-l-i-n-g' as, pushing my penis  clear  to  
         squirt uncontrollably, she watched splashing tendrils of 
         semen  showing whitely against her underwear and  pubic-
         mound.    


           The last sperm drained from me, as she pulled me  back 
         close to her, rubbing against my scrotum, Gayle's  vulva 
         felt  stickily warm.   Gasping lungsful of air, my  head 
         slumped on her shoulder as pinching gently at her  tight 
         buttocks, my fingers slithered up her naked thigh.   


           Basking  in our perspiring exhilaration, after  a  few 
         moments, Gayle squirmed appreciatively.   "Christ,  that 
         was so good!"   Kissing me, she thoughtfully nibbled  my 
         cheek   and  murmured,    "Do  you  know,  for   someone 
         supposedly  in  the  September of his  years,  you're  a 
         glorious fuck."   


           Nuzzling  her  hair,  I  gave  her  buttock  cheek   a 
         reproving  nip.   "Have respect for your  elders.    And 
         who taught you to use language like that?"   


           Pressed against me, I felt her giggle.   "You did".


           "Did  I really?   I'm olden, I can't  remember.    But 
         under  the  circumstances, you're forgiven,  that's  OK, 
         then."    The  spell of carnal lust  broken,  waiting  a 
         laughing Gayle to unlock her ankles before disentangling 
         ourselves,  smiling to myself as I felt them behind  me,  
         for  only about the nine-millionth time, I pictured  her 
         legs.


           Gayle  lowering  her  foot  onto  the  spacious   seat 
         alongside me,  as my hand cuddled a soft breast,  laying 
         between  her thighs, a sigh escaped my lips.    Absently 
         stroking  locks of hair from my forehead,  knowing  what 
         was on my mind, she gently kissed me.


           Anytime of the day and night, I had only to see  those 
         legs  to  want to kiss and nibble and  lick  them.    As 
         though  possessed  of a personality of their  own,    in 
         their  own  right  having dropped me to  the  depths  of 
         misery,  then  lifted  me  to  far-reaching  heights  of 
         happinesses and delights, in a queer sort of way, I  was 
         as much in love with them as I was Gayle.   


           Long, very long, with small, pointed feet, slim ankles 
         led  to subtlely curved calves.   Tear-drop  knees  gave 
         way to unblemished soft thighs, finishing with a  gentle 
         curve  to  the roundness of her muscular  buttocks  and, 
         with a built-in sway, delicately-flared hips.   Not only 
         every  day supporting her, those sculptured  legs  could 
         uncomplainingly sit astride horses for hours, walk golf-
         courses  and  run around tennis-courts as  though  every 
         match  was  the Women's Final at  Wimbledon.    Joyfully 
         jumping  and clambering about the rocks on the  seashore 
         near our home or showily twinkling across a dance-floor, 
         they  were  a joy to be seen.   If set off  by  a  short 
         skirt and pirouetting at the ice-rink, had every  glance 
         they  drew  been a coin of the Realm, Gayle  would  have 
         just been fucked in the back of a new Rolls-Royce. 


           Capable  of exerting pressure enough to make my  back-
         bone  creak,  their particular joy and  speciality   was 
         squeezing  me  closer  to  her  body  as  I   frequently 
         ejaculated into it.


           But those talented and beautiful legs being able to do 
         so  many things so gracefully, sensually  and  extremely 
         well wasn't the fascination.   


           It was the fact they could do them at all! 


                             **     *     ** 
                          

           Things  were  extremely  awkward.    The  poor   young 
         policeman  didn't know how to say what it was he had  to 
         say,  and I didn't know how to help him say  it.    Full 
         well, I knew what was on his mind, I'd known the  moment 
         the  metallic voice of the receptionist had paged me  to 
         the  lobby.    Frantically trying to find me,  from  the 
         embarrassed,  sympathetic look on my Manager's  face  as 
         he'd burst into my office, I'd known.   And as soon as I 
         saw the grey look on the police-officer's face, I  knew.   
         "I'm extremely sorry, sir, but there's been an accident.   
         Your wife..."   


           `aks-ee-dent'  (noun):  event  happening  by   chance; 
         mishap'    Accident!     An eight-letter  word,  totally 
         insignificant  when buried amongst 40 or  50,000  common 
         words   in  the  English  vocabulary,  but  capable   of 
         instantly  stopping time, freezing blood and  mercifully 
         sucking every thought from the mind, used as the subject 
         of  a  sentence, dominating everything  else  around,  a 
         mystic word of miraculous power.   


           "How are they?"  Not aware of asking the question,  my 
         eyes seeing but not recording as they watched his  face, 
         I  fought off a tremendous urge to put an arm round  his 
         shoulders  to  comfort  him as, speaking  from  a  long-
         distance  in  an  echoing  passage-way,  the   policeman 
         hesitatingly looked down at his shoes.   "....I'm sorry, 
         sir." 


           "Both  of them?"    Having got over the worst  job  of 
         his  day,  as  I saw his sombre little  face  lighten  a 
         little at the chance of being helpful, as the  policeman 
         said, "No, but your little girl is not expected to  make 
         it.    She's in intensive-care and we're to get  you  to 
         the   Hospital  as  quickly  as  possible",   completely 
         illogically, I experienced a gripping-urge to do a  tap-
         dance around the marble-and-glass foyer of my employer's 
         office block.


           That evening, the shock set in and I can't recall much 
         of  the  next few days.    Through  drip-feeds,  signing 
         papers,  black  plastic piping by the  mile,  sounds  of 
         rasping,  clicking, life-support machines  and  bustling 
         nurses  and doctors, the rest of her young body  covered 
         by cradles and bed-clothes, there remains a clear  image 
         of  Gayle's bandaged head and face, her  eyes  blackened 
         and closed. Occasional vague memories flicker of  dimly-
         lit offices, hushed voices and above all, the faint  but 
         distinct  odour  of putrefication in the  mortuary,  but 
         never  sure  whether to feel guilty about it or  not,  I 
         cannot at all remember seeing my wife.   


           And  from what I gathered about the accident,  perhaps 
         that is just as well.   On their way to spend a day with 
         my mother-in-law, innocently waiting at  traffic-signals 
         for  them  to change, chains containing the  load  of  a 
         lorry  shuddering to a stop alongside suddenly  sheared, 
         and in a few crazy seconds, the car containing my  whole 
         life was pulverised under toppling tons of road-building 
         bulldozer.   Death   of  any   occupants   a   fore-gone 
         conclusion,  crushed so flat, even the Fire Brigade  had 
         taken  their  time  in cutting the  bodies  out  of  the 
         wreckage, when eventually reaching her, they were amazed 
         to  find a precious spark of life in Gayle's  hideously-
         damaged body.


           Having  miraculously passed the initial  crisis,  with 
         youth,   fitness  and  medical  science  on  her   side,  
         according  to the experts, Gayle stood a good chance  of 
         recovery.    All three did their work well;  within  the 
         same amount of months, Gayle's bright eyes, pink cheeks, 
         merry  smile  and complete inability to feel  sorry  for 
         herself   had   captivated  the  hospital   staff,   who 
         cheerfully  doted  on her.   And save  for  a  temporary 
         paralysis  whilst  severe  bruising  to  her  spine  and 
         nervous system settled down again, all without the trace 
         of a scar or blemish on her young body.


           Which  made  it  so  much more of  a  shock  when  the 
         specialist surgeon called me into his office.   A  sheaf 
         of  papers in his hand, bushy-eyebrows looking over  the 
         top of half-rim spectacles, he quietly explained.    "As 
         you  can  see,  to all  intents  and  purposes,  Gayle's 
         busting  with  health and as fit as a  flea.    But  the 
         crush injuries to her pelvis and spinal column were just 
         too  much.    From  her  hips  downwards,  every   nerve 
         transmitting sensation is dead.   


           "Of course. we'll continue to do what we can, but  too 
         much  time has passed.   Whichever way we  approach  it, 
         the loss of response is permanent."   White-lipped, with 
         a face set in granite, he looked up at me.   "I'm sorry.   
         Gayle's  tried so hard.   But you never  know,  miracles 
         can happen."   


           All  the felicitations in the Universe  wouldn't  make 
         matters  right, and over the next few weeks,  many  more 
         opinions were sought and tests carried out.  They say no 
         two  doctors ever agree, but this time, with many  words 
         in plain English and even more in strange medical terms, 
         they were unanimous.   The upshot was, Gayle would never 
         walk again. 


           And  with  an  added  twist,  joy  of  joys,   Gayle's 
         specialist  thought I was the best person to  break  the 
         news.


           With  a  possible 60 or 70 years ahead of her,  at  12 
         years old, there seemed no point in rushing to break the 
         news.   Medical-men may be very good at explaining  why, 
         if  you stub your toe, your mouth says `ouch', but  when 
         it comes to advising on when and how to break  someone's 
         heart, they haven't a clue.   


           Neither  can  anyone predict the fall-out  or  how  to 
         handle it.   Made as comfortable as possible in her  own 
         bed which I'd erected in our living-room, Gayle had been 
         home from the hospital for a month before I got round to 
         mentioning it.    Holding her in my arms and  dread-full 
         of  floods of tears,  as gently as I could, I  told  her 
         what  the doctors had said.   Momentarily, her  forehead 
         puckering  into  a frown, Gayle's eyes  hooded  and  she 
         swallowed  hard.   There was a long - Christ, it  seemed 
         like  three years - silence, and then a clear,  uplifted 
         little  voice said, "Never mind, Daddy.    We've  always 
         got  each other to love," then it was her arms  reaching 
         out  to  me and me breaking my heart.   Leaving  me  for 
         ever,  four months of worry, strain and grief  came  out 
         that night and was gone.   If Gayle could smile, then so 
         could I.


           But  this  isn't  an  account  of  misery,  pain   and 
         suffering, it's a story of happiness and success.    And 
         love.   Through the working week-day, being cared for by 
         one or the other of her grand-mothers, in all she turned 
         her  hand  to and for all her disability, Gayle  was  so 
         bright, keen and enthusiastic or worth doing  everything 
         for,  I sometimes wondered who was caring for who.    If 
         her legs felt no life, thankful they could feel no pain, 
         hurrying  home  from  work  each  evening,  with   those 
         flaccid, wasting white legs over my arm, her arms around 
         my  neck,  carrying her to the bathroom,  she'd  happily 
         chatter about everything happening during her day.    In 
         the  bath, relieved of the dead-weight, she'd laugh  and 
         splash like any other happy child, then cuddled together 
         on the settee, we'd watch TV, play games or talk.   With 
         two whole days together in front of us and grandmas back 
         in  their  own  homes, Fridays could  never  come  quick 
         enough.    Years  later, I cannot  recall  spending  one 
         morose  moment with her, one tear appearing or a  cross, 
         impatient, word passing between us.     


           As the lawyers interminably argued about the number of 
         noughts  on  the end of what was a  massive,  undisputed 
         insurance  claim,  an understanding Bank Manager  set  a 
         sky-high  overdraft limit and everyone set about  making 
         life  as  easy  as  possible  for  Gayle.    Amidst  her 
         continual  excitement  and wonder,  disability-aids,  an 
         adapted  car, an electric-powered wheel-chair,  exercise 
         equipment  to  keep  the  rest  of  her  in  trim   and, 
         thankfully,  private tutors to continue  her  education, 
         all  arrived.    (Later,  making  special  arrangements, 
         Education  Authorities  allowed her to take  her  school 
         examinations  at home, which she chewed up with  relish.   
         Whatever  the matter with her body, her mind was  razor-
         sharp,  her personality soft, gentle and full of  humour 
         and her spirit amongst the strongest).


           After  about  six  months,  gradually  more  and  more 
         realising  that  whilst at work, I was missing  her  and 
         thus side-tracked in my concentration, being of less use 
         to my employer and with Gayle's grand-parents  beginning 
         to  fidget,  it  was time  for  long-term  arrangements.   
         Funnily enough, it was Gayle who brought the subject up.   
         "Daddy, can't you give up your job so we can be together 
         all  the time?"   The simple logic appealing to me,  her 
         steady  persuasion made short work of any  resistance  I 
         may  have had, and a good employer releasing  me  early, 
         within the month, the deed was done.


           There followed a week of both grandmothers training me 
         in  Gayle's  daily and  weekly  routines.    Fortunately 
         enjoying  cooking, changing careers to becoming a  full-
         time nurse seemed quite straight-forward to me until  my 
         plump  mother mentioned the subject of feminine  hygiene 
         and  blossoming  sexual  awareness.    Not  particularly 
         perturbed  about  such  things, but  never  even  having 
         thought   of   such  matters  in  relation   to   Gayle, 
         momentarily catching me on one leg, Mother looked at  me 
         as uncertainty flooded my mind.   "It's all part of  the 
         job,  you know, there's more to everything than  playing 
         with  her  and making her laugh.   Of course,  in  those 
         departments, Gayle is  capable of looking after herself, 
         but you'll have to keep an eye on her physical bits  and 
         pieces."


           Lost  sight of in busy activity, it was quite a  shock 
         as  it  suddenly  dawned on me that  in  the  flurry  of 
         nursing and making Gayle happy, during the months  since 
         the  accident,  whilst life had stood still for  me,  my 
         mind assumed it had for her.   Suddenly, I saw that  but 
         for her legs, all other parts of Gayle had continued  to 
         normally   develop   as  any   young   girl.     Somehow 
         disconcerted,  if only to allay problems in the  future, 
         it  occurred  to me the situation and choice  of  nurse-
         maids in certain areas ought to be put to her.


           Wearing  a  fluffy  pink bed-jacket  over  a  flowered 
         night-dress, as she listened, Gayle's brown-eyes  smiled 
         at me.   Embarrassed and staring at the wall beside her, 
         never   even  noticing  them  before,  I  felt   acutely 
         conscious  of  the  shape of her forming  breasts  as  I 
         spoke;  simply  a situation arising which  to  be  dealt 
         with,  this  was no matter or morality or  decency,  but 
         whilst my mind was happy to agree, for no reason I could 
         put a finger on, everything else was confused and I felt 
         utter  stupidity.   "...so that's the  situation,  Gayle   
         If  you wish, Granny will come in two or three  times  a 
         week  to help you.   Or you can let me do it.   It's  up 
         to  you."    Staring  avidly  at  the  pattern  on   the 
         wallpaper, I felt her take my hand.   


           Looking down at her, Gayle smiled shyly.   "I'd rather 
         it was you, Daddy."   She squeezed my fingers.    "We'll 
         be  all  right."    Laying  back  on  her  pillows,  she 
         grinned.    "Grannies are too fussy, too  business-like, 
         in  any  case.   I'm happy if you are.   It'll  be  like 
         Mummy would have wanted"


           Gayle  was right there.  At Val's mention,  there  had 
         been  a  little  kick in my heart,  nothing  much,  just 
         enough to remind me of her loss.   But as a family,  she 
         had always wanted us to be self-sufficient, to love  and 
         look  after each other.   Doubting whether  she'd  meant 
         for  it to be in these circumstances, as though she  had 
         touched  me,  my  heart and  mind  cleared.    Mentally-
         squaring  my shoulders, sure Val would have approved,  I 
         made the decision.  


           From there, I took care of Gayle completely and seeing 
         her quite happy, clean and well-cared for, granny-doubts 
         rapidly cleared and save for very frequent happy visits, 
         they left Gayle and I alone.      

            
           Every  evening in the bath, Gayle handled things  very 
         efficiently  until  the time came when  having  cleansed 
         everything she could comfortably reach, she'd press  the 
         button of the bell I'd installed downstairs.   Going  up 
         to the bathroom, I'd wash the rest of her, then  lifting 
         her  out of the bath and snugly wrapping her in a  bath-
         towel,  carry her downstairs to lay her on her  bed  and 
         dry her.   From the very first, I'd determined this  was 
         treated  as normally as possible, made just as much  fun 
         as  anything else we did.   Consequently,  amid  furious 
         rubbing  with  the  towel, there was  much  chatter  and 
         laughter and tickling.   


           But  no  amount  of horseplay or  rubbing  produced  a 
         glimmer  of reaction to that white abdomen.   And  until 
         manually-moved,  like two match-sticks sparsely  covered 
         with flesh, those thin legs just uselessly lay there.   


           Personally, my plans past the end of next week  didn't 
         exist.    Groceries,  electricity  and  the  like  being 
         delivered  to  the door as it were, Gayle and  I  became 
         comfortably  ensconced in a nice, untroubled  existence.   
         If the need arose to obtain a forgotten item of grocery, 
         scarcely  aware  of  what was  happening  around  me,  I 
         scuttle  to the shops and back.   Only  with  difficulty 
         could I recall the name of the shop I brought it from. 


           Never  consciously thinking of the future,  I  vaguely 
         supposed  I would carry on looking after Gayle  until  I 
         died,  when someone else would take  over.    Everything 
         was  much  too far distant to concern me and  all  other 
         human  responses shut down.   Apart  from  car-journeys, 
         the  outside  world no longer seemed to exist or  be  of 
         importance.   


           Without  school friends or the emotional and  physical 
         stimulus of the outside world, where was Gayle likely to 
         meet  a boy mature or happy enough to be able to  accept 
         the responsibility of marrying her?   Quite the  reverse 
         of expectations, Gayle was no cement-like load to carry, 
         but  assuming  she  met  someone  and  overcame  obvious 
         barriers, which young man was likely to stay around long 
         enough to build a relationship loving enough to overcome 
         her inability to have children, of having a sex-life  or 
         even  the  sheer  physical day-to-day  arduous  work  of 
         caring  after her.   If based on pity, any  relationship 
         would  naturally die.   And having no pity for  herself, 
         Gayle  wouldn't entertain anyone else pitying her;  more 
         likely  to  have pity for the person  pitying  her,  she 
         would  avoid any such relationship.   Unable to see  any 
         way  out of the vicious-circle this created,  no  matter 
         how  good  my  imagination,  I  couldn't  visualise  the 
         situation ever changing.   Such matters never discussed, 
         the status quo was merely unobtrusively absorbed.              


           Even  from her wheel-chair, Gayle had become  a  handy 
         little cook in her own right, and until the arrival of a 
         dish-washer,  helped with the washing-up as best as  she 
         could.    Undergoing  tests  of  all  kinds,  frequently 
         spending days on end in hospital,  when like a fish out-
         of-water,  I'd  sit at home waiting  visiting  hours  to 
         start,  Gayle's always hopeful, resilient little  spirit 
         seemed happy enough, but she was never in the company of 
         strangers   for   long  enough  to   form   friendships.   
         Particularly  during  the  first  winter,  neighbourhood 
         children  and ex-school-friends came to call and  laying 
         her on blankets and cushions on the floor, I'd watch  as 
         they  played games with her, but another  year  passing, 
         their  interests graduated to adolescent activities  and 
         they faded away.    


           Contentedly  enjoying  our  lives  and  each   other's 
         company,  Gayle  and I scarcely noticed  their  absence.   
         Sealing off the section of our lives containing the rush 
         and bustle of `normality' as it did, I was  occasionally 
         given to wondering, the accident not having happened, if 
         for me, this section of my life would have been happier.   
         I doubted it.   


           Whatever  the  case, it wasn't to last as  long  as  I 
         expected.   Unexpectedly, when Gayle was approaching 14, 
         pivoting  on the tiniest of jewels and so  insignificant 
         as to almost slip by unnoticed, doors to our  respective 
         futures silently eased ajar. 


           After  eighteen months, becoming so used to it as  not 
         giving it a second thought, following her nightly  bath, 
         I  was  rubbing Gayle's body with  a  rough  bath-towel.   
         Followed  by a drive in the car and afternoon tea  in  a 
         village-cafe, after a strenuous morning working with her 
         weights,  with the surfeit of fresh  hair,  half-asleep, 
         Gayle was nakedly drowsing on her pillows.   Gathering a 
         finer hand-towel and carefully so as not to disturb her, 
         to  part  them,  I picked up one  heavy,  lifeless  leg.   
         Wiping at any dampness, stealthily stroking the towel up 
         her  thighs,  to  dry her genitals and  covered  by  the 
         towel,  my  innocent finger slipped  between  her  labia 
         lips.   At that moment, eyelids flickering, Gayle's head 
         moved as she murmured and apprehensive of awakening her, 
         I stopped.   As she settled again, I carefully dried her 
         tummy,  and covering her over, left her to  sleep  until 
         supper.


           Just  before dawn,  I sat bolt-upright in  bed.   Wide 
         awake  and  heart thumping, hurriedly bumping  down  the 
         stairs, I entered what was now Gayle's bedroom.  Propped 
         half-upright  on  her  pillows,  she  was  fast  asleep.   
         Gently  drawing  back the bed-clothes,  her  night-dress 
         rucked  around  her  knees,  gathering  up  the  hem,  I 
         uncovered her abdomen.  Gently shifting her legs  apart, 
         oblivious to the fine down covering her pubic mound,  my 
         finger  slipped  into  her vaginal cleft as  I  held  my 
         breath.    Maintaining  steady pressure,  I  sought  her 
         clitoris,  and  on making contact with the  little  bud, 
         wiggled my finger.    


           Gayle  stirred.    Excited,  but  aware  this  may  be 
         coincidence  and not wishing to unnecessarily cause  her 
         hopes  to  rise, giving her a few moments to  settle,  I 
         gave another wiggle.   Stirring again, she gave a little 
         `mmm' and to remove any doubts at all, in her sleep,  as 
         though  to brush away an irritation, her hand  jerkingly 
         fumbled  across her abdomen.   Colliding with  mine,  it 
         stopped and then suddenly gripped it as her eyes opened.   
           "Daddy?"    Her  eyes opened wide in  alarm.   "Daddy, 
         what are you doing."


           Reaching  to turn on the bed-side lamp,  I  exclaimed, 
         "You did!   I knew you did!"


           Propping  herself up on her elbows, struggling to  sit 
         up  as she squinted in the bright light, Gayle  sleepily 
         looked at me.   "Did what, Daddy?", she asked.


           "Felt it!   Felt me touching you," I said excitedly.


           Gazing  first  at me and then at her  vulva,  it  took 
         seconds  for Gayle to understand.   "Yes,  I  remember", 
         she squealed.   "Oh, Daddy, even though I was asleep,  I 
         felt it clearly!"


           "This  evening, darling, when I was drying you  there, 
         you  moved  then!    I  thought  you  were  dreaming,  I 
         scarcely  noticed but something must have registered  in 
         my mind.   Something made me wake up and just to see  if 
         I  had  imagined  it,  I had to  come  and  experiment."  
         Looking  her in the eyes, I grasped  Gayle's  shoulders. 
         "Did you really feel something?"   


           Gayle  nodded  vigorously.   "Yes, Daddy, I  did  feel 
         it."


           For a long moment, neither of us would say what was on 
         our  minds, and then, as close to tears than I had  seen 
         her for months, Gayle's voice trembled.   "Oh Daddy,  do 
         you think....?"


           "...too soon to say," I said abruptly.   "You  mustn't 
         get  your hopes up, darling.   But whatever it  is,  the 
         doctors  will be pleased.   If you can feel that,  where 
         else might be becoming sensitive?"


           Excitedly, Gayle gazed at me.  "Let's find out, Daddy.   
         Pinch me somewhere else."


           Tentatively  touching  and gently prodding  her  feet, 
         ankles, knees and thighs, I looked hopefully at her, but 
         Gayle shook her head.   "I can't feel anything."


           Pinching her tummy, Gayle began to look  disappointed, 
         so I returned to her vulva.   Immediately, giggling with 
         excitement,  her  hand  flew to  her  neck,  her  headed 
         craning  as she felt tingles and we were again  full  of 
         hope.   "That came out here," she laughed.   "Where else 
         can we try?" 


           With Gayle eagerly watching, resolving to see just how 
         far  this  phenomena extended, supporting  her  lifeless 
         legs and placing her feet as far apart as possible, as I 
         looked  at the open lips of her labia, sexual  awareness 
         of  what  was happening and what I was doing  caught  up 
         with  me and flushing, I looked at her, doubtful.    She 
         nodded.     "Please,  Daddy,  go  on,  it's  OK.     I'm 
         frightened it won't happen again.  See if the feeling is 
         still there."


           Hesitating for only a minute as her eyes implored  me, 
         my fingers gently splayed her soft labia.   Deliberately 
         ignoring  the  dark opening to her vagina,  drawing  the 
         length of my finger up the tenderness of her inner lips, 
         I heard Gayle gasp as it again touched the tiny hood  of 
         her clitoris.   Peering closely to see what I was doing, 
         my heart jumped for joy as before my eyes, a tiny,  slim 
         sliver of flesh made a appearance, sluggishly moving  as 
         though  just  awakening from a long  sleep.    Carefully 
         touching  it,  as Gayle's shoulders and chest  began  to 
         flicker and twitch in tension, it grew a little  longer.   
         Not  only was it sensitive, to my mind, it was  reacting 
         very normally. 


           Laying them along the bed, I gently replaced her  legs 
         together.    "Well,  darling, now we know.   It  was  no 
         flash  in  the pan."   Rearranging her  night-dress  and 
         bed-clothes,  I  said, ""Look, little  Gayle.    I  know 
         you're excited, but don't start building your hopes  up.   
         We'll see what the doctor says tomorrow, but at the very 
         least,  it  is  a great step forward."    I  kissed  her 
         forehead.   "Now try to get some sleep."


           Gayle  pouted.   "Please Daddy, do it again.  I'm  too 
         excited to sleep."


           Abstractedly  thinking of her clitoris's  sudden,  sly 
         appearance, and wondering if Gayle had experienced   any 
         form  of arousal, I was tempted but said  instead,   "Do 
         you want a drink or anything?   I'm going to make a  cup 
         of tea."


           Only slightly disappointed, suddenly reddening,  Gayle 
         smiled slowly.   "Yes, please."   She looked down at  my 
         abdomen.    "And  Daddy, if you are going  to  stay  up, 
         don't  you think you should at least put your  dressing-
         gown on?"   


           Blood of shame rushed in my ears as I caught sight  of 
         a wavering, half-erect penis. 


         +~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~+

         "THE DOORS TO GAYLE'S FUTURE"

         copyright: Merrill, Castle & Gray 1996  


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         Merrill, Castle & Gray. 

         e-mail:ed-mcg@bartra.demon.co.uk 

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         Castle                   \ ~~~~ \~~~~~ \
            and                    \ ~~~~ \~~~~~ \
           Gray                     \_~_____~_____\
             uk                            \{_____{