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Two-Legged Freaks 
by Geminiguy (geminiguy7.hotmail.co.uk@gmail.com)

***

Parody of Eight-Legged Freaks, where the only freaks 
there are of the human variety. (f/M, F/m, ped, inc, 
oral, movie-parody)
 
***

Author's Note: This is my sex parody of the 2002 movie 
Eight-Legged Freaks (I'd recommend seeing the movie 
first before you read this to see how I skewed from the 
movie itself). I can't believe I had to watch this like 
50 times in about 3 or 4 months before this idea hit 
upon me... I'm building on how the movie started, up to 
the point Ashley Parker tells her mother, Sheriff Sam 
Parker, that Chris McCormick isn't bad-looking for an 
old fogey. 

For this story, there are no giant spiders, just a joke 
Joshua plays on Mike Parker by covering his shop and 
mine entrance with fake spider webs and relocating his 
spiders and himself into hiding. The giant spider Mike 
sees in the mine is an animatronic spider put in there 
by the Mayor to scare the town into selling all their 
land. 

This is just a story about sexually frustrated people 
who need some release (and a boy who's tired of going 
unnoticed, only craving attention, who really believes 
there are giant spiders). All right, enough babbling, on 
with the sex! G] 

***

It was a hot night and 16 year old Ashley Parker could 
not sleep. It was her mother's turn to work the 
overnight [10pm to 8am] shift and she'd left her 
daughter in charge. Sweat soaked through her t-shirt, 
molding it perfectly to her DD tits [she took after her 
mom in that regard who hid a great set of tits herself 
under her Sheriff's uniform stuffed into minimizer bras] 
and highlighted her large light brown areolas and thick, 
hard nipples. 

The short t-shirt could not hide Ashley hairy teen 
pussy, which ached. Bret had been pressing her for weeks 
now to fuck. She always insisted she wasn't ready but 
sex was always on Ashley's mind. She tossed and turned 
but could not sleep. 

With a sigh Ashley climbed out of bed and did something 
her mother would kill her for. She picked the lock on 
her mother's liquor cabinet and proceeded to get drunk. 
After half a bottle of liquor, drunk out of her mind, 
Ashley went out on the front porch to continue her 
boozing, having forgotten she was only clad in a too 
short, sweat-soaked t-shirt... 

Chris McCormick did not know Sam Parker was working. He 
had decided to take his Aunt Gladys' advise and tell Sam 
the truth and right away was the best way to go. IF he 
saw any lights on in Sam's house, that is he decided. If 
not he'd wait until tomorrow. 

As his truck slowly approached Sam's property he saw 
there were no lights on but something caught else that 
caught his eye... Ashley took another swig of the 
burning liquor. Another burning began to consume her 
nether regions. She let her free hand slip between her 
virgin legs and touch her wet quim. Ashley moaned. Her 
first thought was not of Bret, though. It did not 
disgust her that Chris McCormick came to mind. 

Had she imagined it in the mall parking after her mother 
had pushed him against the car and cuffed him, when she 
uncuffed him and he turned around, wasn't his cock 
noticeably hard? Ashley was sure it was, and she saw his 
was very long and thick. One reason she didn't want to 
fuck Bret yet was her inexperience. But a stud like 
Chris McCormick on the other hand...

The moonlight was bright enough for Chris to see Ashley 
nearly naked body clearly. His cock had hardened when 
Sam had pushed him against the car and cuffed him, and 
that erection returned with a vengeance. To be honest he 
hadn't fucked in the 10 years he'd been away. He had 
wanted to. He'd tried but when it came down to the 
moment of truth he couldn't get it up because none of 
those women were Sam Parker. Now here he was getting a 
hard on for Sam's own daughter! True, he could blame the 
lack of sex, but this girl was what now, 15, 16. Chris 
could never violate a minor. 

But that decision was taken out of his hands... Ashley 
continued getting hammered as she rubbed her quim 
thinking about Chris McCormick. She loved that facial 
hair, thinking about that mustache/goatee made her 
hornier than ever... Ashley plugged to fingers up her 
hole, eradicating her hymen instantly. The liquor had 
numbed her to the pain but not the pleasure. Ashley'd 
given herself a small orgasm at the same moment she made 
herself a woman... 

Moments later she opened her eyes and a look of glee 
overtook her face. It was a dream come true. She'd 
recognized Chris McCormick's truck right away. Ashley 
let out a little squeal, dropped the almost empty bottle 
of liquor off the edge of the porch and onto the grass 
[miraculously it landed on its bottom and did not tip 
over] and ran to Chris' truck... Chris couldn't believe 
it. The girl ran to him eagerly, a look of great lust on 
her face. 

When she pulled open the door and leaped in Chris 
smelled the liquor on her breath when she was all over 
him. He was starting to lose the battle with himself... 
"Ashley! Your mother..." Chris gasped. 

She giggled. "Don't worry... She at work until 8am..." 

"But still... Right in front of your house?" 

"I know a good place!" Ashley replied, slamming the door 
and snuggling up against him. 

Past the point of no return, Chris let Ashley direct 
him. She had his cock out and was stroking before they 
reached the place she'd had in mind. A place Chris 
hadn't in mind... It was secluded, but...

Chris cleared his throat. "Ummm, here? I thought you 
meant somewhere, more private? Maybe a bed?" 

Ashley giggled. "What's wrong with having my first time 
in a truck?" Ashley whipped off her t-shirt, laid on her 
back and spread her legs. 

Chris shrugged. 

He mounted Ashley and sank his cock in her tight quim. 
It felt good to be inside a woman after so long... No 
cherry he noticed. Maybe she lost it in an accident, he 
assumed. In any case it didn't matter. 

He pumped in and out of her, need overwhelming him. 
Chris came quickly but stayed hard. He fucked Ashley 
that way again. Before they switched to her on top she 
eased his mind by letting Chris know she was on the 
pill. He came in her the fourth time from behind before 
getting her home. 

When he helped her in the front door she was still drunk 
as a skunk so Chris wasn't worried about her 
remembering. He felt guilty but not as guilty as he'd 
thought he'd feel. Maybe he could carry on with his 
plans for Sam Parker. That is, as long as she never 
found out about Ashley.

The next morning Bret anxiously headed over to Chris 
McCormick's house. After hearing about him punching out 
his stepdad the Mayor, Bret felt Chris was the man to 
help him get in Ashley's pants. Bret's balls ached from 
weeks of Ashley's teasing and he needed to get laid. 

What Bret didn't know was Chris was at Sheriff's Parker, 
with a handful of picked flowers, preparing to talk to 
her, though he didn't know what he'd say. The good 
fucking last night had cleared his mind and he felt calm 
and more ready. 

Anyway, the only person at Chris' was Aunt Gladys, whose 
house it technically was. Gladys was still in her 
housecoat, underneath only a bra on her decent C-cup 
tits. Her thick bush was mostly dark with only a few 
grey hairs on it... Gladys was not in the best of moods. 
She had a bad cigarette habit and was badly craving a 
smoke but the fuckin' matches would not light. When the 
doorbell rang she threw down the cigarette in disgust... 
Bret wasn't sure how to go about asking Chris for his 
help. 

He felt somewhat relieved when Chris' aunt opened the 
door. For a moment Bret was worried because of the 
grumpy look on her face but it quickly became I pleasant 
one. Suddenly Bret was hit by a memory he'd forgotten 
about until now. 2 years ago he was playing ball nearby 
when the ball was hit over the fence to Chris' aunt's 
yard. He climbed over it and retrieved the ball. 

As he was straightening up he saw Gladys in her bedroom, 
curtains wide open, puffing on a cig, oblivious to 
anything and anyone. But Bret was not oblivious to 
Gladys. She stood there in only a black bra and matching 
panties. She didn't have a teenage body of course but it 
was decent for her age and gave Bret his first hard on. 
One of his friends called for the ball, awakening him 
from his reverie. 

Embarrassed, he threw the ball over before someone 
decided to see what was holding him up. Bret took one 
more look at Gladys before quickly leaving the yard. 
Standing at Chris's aunt's door remembering that was 
making him hard again.

Gladys opened the door ready to chew someone a new 
asshole. But when she saw this young man, no older than 
16, 17, Gladys found her old cunt growing moist, and it 
changed the expression on her face. But when she saw the 
erection pop up, Gladys realized maybe she didn't need a 
cigarette after all. 

"Hi, I was wondering if Mr. McCormick was in," Gladys 
smiled.

"You mean Chris. He's not here at the moment but I 
expect him back soon. Why don't you come in and wait?" 
She replied.

Actually, Chris was heading to the mine after Sam's but 
Gladys didn't know that or give a particular fuck at 
that moment if Chris walked in and caught them. 

"Thanks," Bret said as he stepped in, wondering how he 
could nail her. Cunt was cunt after all. But he needn't 
have wondered such things. As soon as the door was shut 
Gladys dropped to her knees, pulled his cock out of his 
fly and took his more than modest sized cock in her 
mouth, dousing her oral fixation almost immediately. 
Gladys was so horny, she didn't take the time to enjoy 
her blow job.

Bret was so horny and full of pent up need he didn't 
care either. He just reached out and kneaded her tits 
through her old housecoat as he blew his load quickly 
into her eager mouth. Gladys swallowed down ever spurt 
until he was drained. Bret stayed hard, but she hadn't 
noticed, her oral need temporarily sated. But he was far 
from done. 

He lifted her off her knees and opened her housecoat, 
pleased to see her lack of panties and feel how wet she 
was. He picked Gladys up by the hips and planted her 
butt on the back of the couch. Spreading her legs, Bret 
rubbed his engorged cock along her wet slit, trying to 
remember the things he'd read and seen on the internet 
about fucking. Gladys groaned and his slid his cock 
between her lips. 

Gladys was tight after so many years of disuse. He began 
fucking her slowly and she had a small orgasm. He picked 
up his pace and pumped into Gladys faster. She had 
several intense orgasms before Bret filled her cunt with 
his fluids. He flipped her over and began to plow her 
doggy style.

After he came again in her she pushed him off of her and 
sucked another load out of his resilient cock though he 
took much longer to cum that time. They took a break to 
build up their energy than fucked twice in the kitchen. 
Gladys sucked him off in the shower than took him to bed 
and climbed on top and rode him, her first time on top. 
They fucked several times in bed, had a late lunch then 
headed back to the bedroom. They spent several hours in 
bed fucking before Bret finally left. Ashley was 
temporarily forgotten. 

He was surprised he wasn't tired. In fact he felt 
energized. He went down to meet his buds and did a 
little dirt bike riding. Bret felt he'd never come down 
from his high... He was in no hurry to return to his 
stepdad's dreary home and all that talk about toxic 
waste he would overhear his stepdad talk about on the 
phone. When his friends began to disperse, Bret's first 
thought was to pay Gladys another visit...

Young Mike Parker climbed into the window to his room, 
trying to avoid his mother so she won't know he'd been 
out. Even as he took off his backpack his mother's voice 
arose. "So... Where were you?" Sam Parker asked her 
young son from the open doorway. 

"I... went to Joshua's..."

"What did I tell you about going over there?" 

"Mom! His spiders have become gigantic! The whole town 
could be in danger, they could destroy everything. 
People could get killed... Just hear me out." Sam 
sighed. 

She came into the room, wearing a loose-fitting long-
sleeve blue top that was somewhat low-cut and tight, 
tight blue jeans, and closed the door behind her. "This 
is all my fault. I've been so focused on Ashley's recent 
behavior, and on my job, working so many hours to help 
the townspeople, I've been ignoring you. This is a cry 
for attention, isn't it?" 

Mike was about to say something but his mother cut him 
off. 

"You've felt invisible for too long. I've let it go on 
long enough. I know this is unethical, and it's 
unorthodox. And as Sheriff I know this is definitely 
illegal, but it is necessary." M

ike was about to speak again when his mother grabbed him 
and threw him on his back onto his bed. Without another 
word, Sam Parker hauled down her son's pants and briefs. 
She was pleased by the size of his penis for a boy his 
young age. When she took it into her mouth she was even 
more pleased by how much it lengthened and thickened. 
His penis tasted so much better than his sleazy father's 
had. 

Sam moaned, her nipples hardening in her minimizer bra 
and her panties soaked by her pussy... 

She had not been with a man in about 10 years since she 
found out what cheating scum her ex had been. Sam 
savored the taste of her son's penis. His pre-cum was so 
good, too. 

Mike groaned. "Oh, mom..." was all he could say. 

Sam was pleased by how long her offspring lasted. When 
he finally came Sam was more pleased by the taste of his 
seed and the copious amount he had spurted. Mike's 
orgasm had drained him. Sexually and physically.  

Sam tucked his penis back in as he began to drift off. 
"Mom..." was all he could say. He smiled. 

Sam smiled back. "You're welcome, baby. We'll be doing 
this more often. A LOT more often..." Sam got up and 
left the room extremely horny. She was about to take 
care of it when the doorbell rang. She sighed and went 
to answer it. 

It was Chris, freshly shaved. "Sam, there's something I 
have to say that I've been wanting to say for a long 
time." 

Sam grabbed the front of his shirt and kissed him. "I 
know what you're going to say. Now shut up and fuck me!" 
She dragged him to her bedroom and tore off her clothes 
and his. She threw Chris on the bed, mounted him, and 
slid her dark blonde haired pussy down on his cock. 

'That was easy...' Chris said to himself as Sam fucked 
him. Later that night Ashley and Bret fucked for the 
first of many times. The pill failed and she became the 
next 'trailer park trash' mom but never made it past 
deputy. And Chris McCormick found gold in those mines 
and saved the town. But that's another story... 

END

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The author does not condone child abuse, this story is 
meant as an erotic fantasy not depicting anything in 
real life. Anyone acting out such scenarios in "real 
life" can look forward to many unproductive years 
getting it up the butt by a fellow convict in their 
local prison system.
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