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Archive name: sixfeet.txt (MF, nec, TV show-parody)
Authors name: Michael (phoenlxarlzona@aol.com)
Story title : Six Feet Under: Claire's Ride

--------------------------------------------------------
This work is copyrighted to the author © 2003.  Please
don't remove the author information or make any changes
to this story.  You may post freely to non-commercial
"free" sites, or in the "free" area of commercial sites.
Thank you for your consideration.
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Six Feet Under: Claire's Ride (MF, nec, TV-parody)
By Michael (phoenlxarlzona@aol.com)

* * *

This is a parody of the hit HBO series "Six Feet Under" 
which really takes no more than the daughter's first name 
and the basic outline of the storyline. 

* * *

"Yes, I know stealing a foot is weird. But, living in a 
house where a foot is available to be stolen is weird."

* * *

Claire grew up in a home that catered to dead people. 
When she was younger she tried to ignore what her family 
did for a living. But by the time she became a teenager 
her friends at school wouldn't let her.

There was constant teasing about her family's funeral 
home. The boys would make crude jokes about Claire's sex 
life and the "experience" that she must have had. She 
tried to ignore them but it still hurt.

After graduating from high school Claire was a lost soul, 
nothing seemed to excite her, she didn't really want to 
go to college, but she knew she didn't want to go into 
the family business either. She'd seen what that was like 
as her two older brothers were slowly entrapped and made 
to take over the day-to-day business tasks.

Claire just wanted out. She didn't want anything to do 
with the gross and disgusting business of taking care of 
dead bodies, or the sad and sorry people who traipsed 
through the office night and day, trying to care for 
their recently deceased.

But as it happened, one evening Claire "was" trapped into 
covering the phones. There had to be someone to take 
calls until 9pm every night, and both her brothers were 
busy, one had a date and the other had to go out of town. 
Her mother who was also going out that night had 
dragooned Claire. Her mother had pulled all the guilt 
strings to get her daughter to "help out" a little.

So Claire found herself sitting around in the office 
looking at a silent phone. Gawd, she was bored, nothing 
ever happened around there. Nothing interesting anyway. 
She got up from the desk and wandered around the room. 
She could smell the acrid chemicals that were used for 
embalming. That smell would haunt her for the rest of her 
life, she thought to herself.

Then Claire heard an alarm go off in the preparation 
room. What could possibly be going on there? She 
wondered. Walking slowly over to the lab door, Claire 
nervously pushed it open and looked in.

She could see a body lying on one of the prep-tables and 
beside it was a timer. Apparently someone had set the 
timer and forgotten about it. Claire strode over to the 
table and punched the off button on the alarm mechanism.

Then she glanced down at the body on the table. "Jeeze!" 
It was a middle-aged man and he was naked. But that 
wasn't what attracted Claire's attention. What made her 
stair was the stiff erection that he was sporting. His 
dick wasn't huge or anything but it looked fully erect 
and almost alive.

Claire had seen cases like this before. Sometimes at the 
moment of death a man will get an erection and it might 
stay that way. When something like that happened to a 
client and there was going to be a showing, whoever was 
doing the prep work would either have to crush the 
erection or cut it off so that there wouldn't be this big 
obscene lump in the corpse's pants.

Obviously they hadn't gotten that far with this guy yet. 
As she looked down at him she thought to herself, 'what a 
waste, I wonder if he was a good lover in his time? I 
wonder if he has a wife whose morning him and who would 
be totally grossed out if she knew what was in store for 
her poor dead husband.'

Claire reached out and tweaked the corpse's stiff dick. 
It felt stiff against her finger. Looking around 
nervously Claire reached down and gripped the man's boner 
and tugged at it. 'Hmmm, he feels almost alive, except 
that there's no body heat.

Just for the fun of it Claire began to jerk the man off. 
Of course she knew that it was totally perverted, but 
when she was alone in that stupid place she found that 
she did things that were strange. When she'd been 16 she 
had given a dead boy a blowjob one night when everyone 
was out.

The boy had died from a blow to the head, but the rest of 
his body was perfect. He'd also had an erection like this 
middle-aged man, and his dick had looked so nice, she had 
felt so excited...

Claire shook her head, realizing that she shouldn't be in 
there touching the man and that she should go back to the 
office.

But standing beside the corpse, with her fingers wrapped 
around his unprotesting erection, Claire had a though. 
She had given the teenage boy a blowjob back when she was 
younger, and she might have even tried him out for a 
ride, but back then she had been a virgin and the whole 
thing was just too gross.

But this middle-aged man looked clean, and he was 
obviously healthy, or at least looked like he must have 
been, accept that he was dead. Claire squeezed his balls; 
they felt firm and moved under her touch. The man wasn't 
too hairy, in fact his pubic hair was rather wispy and 
his body was well made - 'for an old guy,' she thought.

Before Claire could stop herself she climbed up on the 
table and straddled the man's naked body. Suddenly, her 
heart was pounding in her chest and her body was shaking 
in nervous arousal. Gawd, it felt good to think about 
something this perverted, this nasty.

Claire felt the man's thighs against her inner thighs, 
his leg hair rasped against her smooth skin. She looked 
down at his closed face and wondered what he'd been like 
when he was alive. Would she have liked him? She 
certainly wouldn't have been in this position with him if 
he were alive. She smiled to herself over that.

Lifting her skirt and pulling her panties to one side she 
positioned the dead erect dick up against her living hot 
flesh. She was wet, dripping wet. It took almost no 
effort to sink down on his erection. She was so wet that 
she lubricated both of them.

For a moment Claire snuggled down all the way onto him 
and just sat there with her hands flat on his chest and 
his stiff dick fully inserted. It felt kind of strange. 
His dick filled her alright, but it was cool, not hot 
like a live man's would be. Claire wasn't sure that she 
didn't like a cool dick better.

Then still looking down at the dead middle-aged man; 
Claire began to ride him slowly. Her knees rested on 
either side of the corpse and pushed against the pad on 
the table, and her hands went back to rest against his 
bare chest and she increased her rhythm.

Soon Claire was gasping and moaning in pleasure as she 
guided the dead man's dick just to the right spots, just 
the way she wanted it. There were no missed rhythms, no 
awkward moment where one or the other partner moved 
wrong. He just lay there unmoving, accepting her advances 
without complaint. And Claire using his body any way she 
wanted. It felt SO good.

She screamed as an intense orgasm rushed up her thighs to 
center between her legs. Right were the man's organ was 
implanted. Right at her place of most private pleasure. 
It was momentarily mind numbing and Claire was totally 
caught up. All sensations were her's to enjoy; she didn't 
have to worry about her partner's pleasure, or what he 
might think of her abandon.

Finally her orgasmic spasms decreased and slowly she came 
down from her panicle of pleasure. She collapsed onto the 
man's chest, gasping for breath, moaning in pleasure.

After a while Claire was able to control her body again, 
her breathing was coming in controlled gasps, and she 
realized what she must look like. If someone came into 
that room right then, what could she say?

Claire quickly dismounted the corpse of the middle-aged 
man and tugged her clothes back into place. She looked at 
his stiff member and saw all her juices slickening the 
surfaces of his shaft. She could even see her lubricants 
dripping onto his balls. She quickly went over to the 
sink area and moistened a washcloth and hurried back to 
clean up the man's body.

When she was done she stood back and looked at him. 
"Thanks mister, I really needed that," she whispered. 
Then she noticed that his erection wasn't as pronounced 
as before. And to her amazement as she continued to 
watch, his erection deflated slowly, ever so slowly, 
until it was fully flaccid and nothing more than a 
wizened little weenie.

"Well, at least you won't have to be mutilated by my 
brother," she said to herself. "You gotta admit that it's 
a lot better to go for a ride than get bashed with a 
hammer or cut with a scalpel. I'll bet you never thought 
you'd have sex again did you?"

Claire took one last look around the room and flicked off 
the lights and shut the door behind her.

END

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
It's okay to *READ* stories about unprotected sex with
others outside a monogamous relationship. But it isn't
okay to *HAVE* unprotected sex with people other than
a trusted partner. You only have one body per lifetime,
so take good care of it!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
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