("`-''-/").___..--''"`-._
                     `6_ 6  )   `-.  (     ).`-.__.`)
                     (_Y_.)'  ._   )  `._ `. ``-..-'
                    _..`--'_..-_/ /--'_.' ,'
                   ((('   (((-(((''  ((((
                 K R I S T E N' S    C O L L E C T I O N
		_________________________________________
		                WARNING!
		This text file contains sexually explicit
		material. If you do not wish to read this
		type of literature, or you are under age,
		PLEASE DELETE THIS FILE NOW!!!!
		_________________________________________




			Scroll down to view text













Archive name: mash.txt (FF, TV-parody, military)
Authors name: JT Langdon (trekkerjt@aol.com)
Story title : M*A*S*H - Body and Seoul

--------------------------------------------------------
This work is copyrighted to the author © 2003.  Please
don't remove the author information or make any changes
to this story.  These characters aren -(TM)t mine; I 
just took them out for a little spin. Comments welcome. 
Drop me a line at TrekkerJT@aol.com.
--------------------------------------------------------

M*A*S*H - Body and Seoul (FF, TV-parody)
By JT Langdon (trekkerjt@aol.com)

***

Two ships passing in the night, one a major and the 
other a lieutenant, both army nurses along way from home.

***

Lieutenant Sheila Anderson liked working the night shift 
in Post-Op. Even though she had plenty of work to keep 
her occupied, it gave her a chance to relax a little. 
Things were usually quieter at night, at least as quiet 
as things ever got at the 4077th. It was never 
completely peaceful. She'd learned that from day one. 

The camp had just gotten over a serious flu epidemic 
which had almost everyone down for the count for several 
days, from the doctors and nurses to the enlisted 
personnel. There hadn't been an empty bed anywhere in 
the hospital! It sure had been an interesting way to 
meet everyone, especially, for her, Major Margaret 
Houlihan. 

Sheila had been impressed with the head nurse from the 
start, but watching her under such difficult conditions 
elevated Major Houlihan to idol status in her eyes. She 
had been terrific. As ranking officer, Major Houlihan 
had all but taken over command of the 4077th. 

Though she had agreed to a working partnership with 
Captain Pierce, the major had been running the show, 
overseeing administration, taking care of all the little 
details that go into making a hospital function. Sheila 
didn't know how Major Houlihan managed. It was no simple 
task running a M*A*S*H unit. It had all the problems of 
a regular army unit and a hospital all rolled into one 
big headache.

But somehow Major Margaret Houlihan took it all in 
stride, not only assuming the responsibilities of 
commanding officer and head nurse... but with Captain 
Pierce the only doctor well enough to operate, the major 
had also been thrust into the role of surgeon when the 
wounded started pouring in.

Sheila just shook her head. She'd worked in one of the 
finest hospitals back in the States, had assisted some 
of the best doctors in the world. But seldom had she 
been witness to the caliber of work she'd seen when she 
had been assisting Major Houlihan in the OR.

The major was as good as or even better than any of the 
doctors she'd worked with in the past, both in and out 
of the Army. Since Captain Pierce had been the only 
surgeon on his feet when she'd arrived, Sheila couldn't 
be absolutely sure how the major would stack up against 
the doctors of the 4077th. But she was willing to bet 
Major Houlihan could match their work stitch for stitch.

Of course, Sheila also knew she was a tad biased in 
favor of the head nurse. She didn't know the exact 
moment her attraction to Major Houlihan had started, but 
it had grown stronger with each day she'd worked at the 
4077th. That was another reason she liked working the 
night shift. 

She didn't have to see Major Houlihan to be reminded of 
what she could never have... didn't have to worry that 
she would let something slip that would reveal her 
feelings... didn't have to worry about facing rejection. 
It was that last one that scared her most of all.

An explosion outside rocked Sheila back to reality. It 
was winter in Korea and the subzero temperatures had a 
way of setting off mines in the minefield across from 
the camp. She smiled and shook her head. Just one more 
thing she had to get used to if she wanted to work in a 
M*A*S*H unit.

Sheila glanced at the clock. It was just after 1:00 am. 
She'd made rounds and gone over the supply requisitions 
like Major Houlihan had asked her to. Since the few 
patients in Post-Op were asleep and doing just fine, and 
since Major Burns was on duty, she could slip away to 
the mess tent for a cup of coffee. 

Slipping into her army-issue parka, Sheila headed 
outside. She crossed the compound, braving the cold for 
the promise of mess tent coffee when she noticed the 
light on in Major Houlihan's tent. It stopped her in her 
tracks. What was the major doing up this late?

She wondered for a moment if Major Houlihan might not 
have company but quickly dismissed the thought. From 
what she'd heard in the short time she'd been there, 
Major Houlihan and Major Burns were quite an item... and 
he was back in Post-Op. So a late-night visitor seemed 
unlikely. 

Now her curiosity was piqued. Even though it probably 
wasn't the wisest course of action, on impulse Sheila 
strolled over to Major Houlihan's tent and knocked on 
the door.

"Who is it?" a terse voice called from inside.

Sheila swallowed hard. This was a bad idea. She must 
have been out of her mind! But it was too late now. What 
could she do? Run? Major Houlihan would think someone 
was playing a practical joke and Sheila knew if anyone 
happened to see her running from the major's tent it 
would get back to her and she would be in serious hot 
water.

"It's Lieutenant Anderson," Sheila said. 

There was a brief pause and then Major Houlihan said, 
"Come in."

Sheila hesitated for just a moment then went inside. The 
first thing she noticed was how much warmer it was in 
there, with credit going to the stove in the middle of 
the tent. Then she noticed the decor, the little 
civilian touches that gave that lent the tent a 
different kind of warmth. And then Sheila saw Major 
Houlihan and felt another kind of warmth. 

The major was sitting on her cot, reading, in a red 
kimono over pink and white pajamas. Sheila had seen 
pajamas just like them in a little shop on the Ginsa in 
Tokyo and thought about getting them for herself. But 
she wouldn't have looked half as good in them as Major 
Houlihan did. 

The major had long, blond hair and full lips... hot 
lips, if camp scuttlebutt was to be taken seriously. The 
cut of the pajamas showed off a nice figure with curves 
in all the right places. Sheila stared at Major Houlihan 
a little bit longer than she probably should have but 
the major didn't seem to mind. 

"Yes, Lieutenant?"

Sheila frowned. "Major?"

"How may I help you?" Major Houlihan enunciated each 
word.

"Oh," Sheila replied, blushing. She needed to make up 
something... and fast. "I, uh, was on my way to the mess 
tent for some coffee when I noticed your light on. I... 
um... thought I'd see if you wanted anything."

Major Houlihan nodded. "That was very thoughtful, 
Lieutenant. But I'm fine. Just couldn't sleep."

"Well," Sheila said, already turning to leave. "Then I 
guess I'll be heading back to Post-Op."

"Wait."

Sheila turned around. "Yes, Major?"

"Please, stay a minute. I'd like the company."

"All right," Sheila said. She shrugged out of her parka 
and sat down at the foot of the cot. It was probably a 
mistake being so close to Major Houlihan. She could 
already smell the other woman's perfume, something 
exotic she probably picked up in Tokyo as well.

"I haven't had a chance to tell you how impressed I am 
with your work," Major Houlihan said. "It's been 
exemplary."

"Thank you, Major."

Major Houlihan nodded. "I expect good things from you, 
Lieutenant."

"I'll try not to let you down."

"I'm sure you won't," Major Houlihan said. "And if 
there's anything you need, or if you have a problem, my 
door is always open. Just knock first."

Sheila laughed. "I appreciate that, Major. Thank you."

"I mean it," Major Houlihan said, "some of the people in 
this camp can be impossible, though I won't mention any 
names... though if I did, Pierce and McIntyre are two 
names that spring to mind."

Sheila couldn't help but laugh. She had seen firsthand 
how impossible those two could be, especially Captain 
Pierce. He was a gifted surgeon, no question about that, 
but he was also a little too full of himself. From her 
very first day at the 4077th Pierce had been flirting 
with her, plying her with his particular brand of charm. 
She had taken it with humor, firing right back, keeping 
him at bay as best she could. So far it had worked.

"They aren't as bad as that, are they?" Sheila asked.

"Those two are the filthiest, most undisciplined and 
unmilitary pair of juvenile delinquents I have ever met. 
And Pierce is the worst of all. If you want my advice, 
Lieutenant, stay away from him."

Sheila smiled. "Not to worry, Major. He's really not my 
type."

"Well good," Major Houlihan said. "If you need something 
to get you through these long winter nights then have a 
hot toddy."

"That sounds like a good idea," Sheila said.

Major Houlihan smiled. "Yes, it does, doesn't it? Maybe 
it will help me sleep."

Sheila watched Major Houlihan get out of bed. She 
couldn't keep her eyes off the other woman's slender 
figure, so fit and athletic yet voluptuous. Her insides 
growled with a hunger that hadn't been satisfied in a 
long time... a hunger that grew when the major bent over 
to get something out of her footlocker. Sheila gazed 
with longing at Major Houlihan's backside, so round and 
perfect. She probably should have gone right to the mess 
tent.

The major pulled a bottle of Scotch out of her 
footlocker. "I got this in Tokyo. It's very smooth."

"Oh I'm sure it is," Sheila murmured, still admiring the 
major's rear end. She continued to watch, entranced, as 
Major Houlihan put a coffee pot on the stove to warm 
then poured them each a glass of Scotch. The woman was 
so beautiful!

It didn't take long for the water to warm up on the 
stove. Major Houlihan added a little to each glass then 
returned to bed, handing Sheila a drink as she sat down. 

"There you are," Major Houlihan said.

Sheila took the glass in both hands and smiled. "Thank 
you, Major."

"Cheers."

The two women drank in silence, letting the hot toddy 
warm them from the inside. Sheila could feel its effects 
spreading through her and relaxed a little, still keep 
her gaze focused on Major Houlihan. She had never met 
such an enticing, provocative and strong woman in her 
life. 

"Can I tell you something, Major?" Sheila asked. 

"Yes, of course. My nurses can tell me anything."

Sheila sipped a little more of her drink, seeking both 
comfort and courage. "It really is an honor to serve 
with you. In a very short time I've come to respect you 
a great deal."

"Well," Major Houlihan said, her cheeks coloring 
slightly. "I don't know what to say, Lieutenant. I'm 
flattered."

"You've made my time here not just tolerable, but a 
pleasure," Sheila said, emphasizing that last word. She 
looked over at Major Houlihan. "I hope we can get to 
know each other a little better."

The two of them stared at each other for the longest 
time without saying anything. Sheila knew the best thing 
she could do for both their sakes was get up and leave 
before things got out of control.

She wanted to lose control... wanted to lose herself in 
Margaret Houlihan and never come back. So she took a 
chance, resting her hand on the other woman's thigh. 

 Since the major didn't shrink back in horror Sheila 
took it one step further, leaning closer... closer... 
closer still... until she could feel the other woman's 
breath on her face... and then, at last, their lips met. 

The kiss started out slow, tentative, but gained 
momentum with each passing second until they were 
practically devouring each other. Their tongues met in 
an explosion of desire and Sheila groaned with an urgent 
need for her new lover.

Setting their glasses aside, Sheila gently eased Major 
Houlihan back on the cot without breaking the kiss. She 
cupped the other woman's breast in her hand, squeezing 
and kneading and caressing the soft round of flesh. 

Her efforts were met with soft gasps of pleasure as the 
kiss deepened further still. Impatient hands moved up 
and down her back, encouraging her, demanding more... 
demanding so much more. Sheila was more than willing to 
oblige. 

She teased Major Houlihan's nipple with her thumb, 
stroking it through the pajama top until she could feel 
the little nub harden under her touch. Oh, how she 
wanted to have it in her mouth! 

She pushed the major's pajama top up just far enough to 
get at those glorious breasts then bent down and sucked 
a rock-hard nipple between her lips. Major Houlihan 
moaned and arched off the cot, raking fingers through 
her hair, removing the pins that kept it in place.

"Yes," Major Houlihan whispered, breathless. "Oh... 
yes."

Sheila moved from one breast to the other, suckling each 
one in turn, flicking her tongue over each hardened 
nipple. She took great delight in the soft, delicate 
whimpers her touch elicited... wanting more than 
anything to please her new lover, a goal she seemed to 
be achieving. The major fidgeted on the small army cot, 
restless and impatient, making her pleasure clear... and 
her impatience even clearer. 

Keeping her mouth at Major Houlihan's breast, Sheila 
slipped her hand down the front of the major's pajama 
bottoms and caressed the damp flesh she discovered 
there. Her lover moaned and arched against her, so 
desperate, wanting it so much. But Sheila teased the 
major a little longer, vigorously rubbing the slick 
nether-lips without dipping inside. 

Major Houlihan bounced anxiously on the cot, hips 
bucking to a rhythm so manic Sheila could not deprive 
the woman a moment longer. She thrust two fingers deep 
into Major Houlihan's cunt, dragging a deep, satisfied 
moan from her lover. The major clawed at her back, wild 
with need, rising to meet her as Sheila pumped her 
fingers deeper and deeper into that hot, wet flesh. 

She could feel the major's pussy clenching around her, 
drawing her in further as climax approached. But Sheila 
would not be rushed. Oh, no. She wanted... needed... to 
get her mouth on Major Margaret Houlihan, to have the 
taste of this amazing woman on her lips.

Sheila slid to the floor, kneeing in front of the cot. 
She pulled off the major's pajama bottoms and tossed 
them aside, maneuvering between Major Houlihan's spread 
legs to get at the sweet dish at their center. The scent 
of the major's arousal made her nostrils flare with 
desire and the hunger within her blossomed. Sheila 
planted her face in Major Houlihan's cunt, licking and 
sucking the tender flesh with reckless abandon. She 
explored the major with her tongue, lapping up the sweet 
nectar that flowed over her lips. 

The major squealed in pure delight, grabbing fistfuls of 
her hair and holding her in place as she dined on that 
exquisite pussy. Sheila tormented her lover, bringing 
the major to the brink of climax time after time without 
granting release. Sheila kept at it until certain the 
major couldn't endure another second of her torture then 
focused all of her attention on the button of flesh that 
was Major Houlihan's clit. She sucked the little pebble 
between her lips, circling it with her tongue while she 
did.

The major cried out and thrust against her mouth, 
heaving off the cot in the throes of orgasm. Sheila 
refused to budge, sucking and licking until the major 
sank back against the cot with an exhausted sigh. 

Sheila crawled back into bed with Major Houlihan. The 
major welcomed her with a deep, searing kiss, running 
determined hands over her shoulders and down her back, 
then cupping the rounds of her buttocks and squeezing 
them. Sheila moaned into the kiss, on fire with need. 
She whimpered and humped the major's thigh like a bitch 
in heat, desperate for even the tiniest bit of relief 
from the nagging itch between her legs. But Major 
Houlihan was more generous than that. 

Sheila growled with anticipation as the major worked a 
hand inside her trousers, but that growl became a gut-
wrenching moan when Major Houlihan pushed the crotch of 
her khaki panties aside and slid two fingers into her. 

The major never stopped kissing her, though, not for a 
moment, feasting on her lips while thrusting into her 
cunt at a furious pace. Sheila could feel her climax 
building, a spark inside her gut that took hold, caught 
fire, and burned out of control until she exploded in a 
burst of ecstasy.

The two of them cuddled on the small cot for a while 
afterward, kissing and fondling each other, neither 
wanting to disturb the pleasant glow that had settled 
over them. Sheila nibbled on the major's earlobe, her 
hand wandering aimlessly. She could have stayed like 
that forever, but also knew she couldn't.

"I need to get back to Post-Op," Sheila whispered.

Major Houlihan touched her cheek. "I know."

Stealing one last kiss, Sheila very reluctantly got out 
of bed. She pinned her disheveled hair back in place and 
smoothed her crumpled uniform, turning as she slipped 
into her parka. "Good night, Major."

"You get off duty at 0900, isn't that right?"

"Yes, Major," Sheila said.

"Report back here immediately after your shift," Major 
Houlihan said, a grin surfacing on her face. "I have 
some... uhm, medical reports I want to go over with 
you."

"Is that an order, Major?"

"You'd better believe it," Major Houlihan said. 
"Dismissed."

Sheila snapped off a smart salute, turned on her heels 
and left. She couldn't keep the smile from her face. And 
she couldn't wait for 0900 to arrive. 

END

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Please keep this story, and all erotic stories out of
the hands of children. They should be outside playing
in the sunshine, not thinking about adult situations.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Kristen's collection - Directory 22