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Archive name: magic.txt (MMf-teen, oral, sitcom parody)
Authors name: Mad Bohemian (moonmanmad@aol.com)
Story title : Sabrina's Magic Wand

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This work is copyrighted to the author © 2001.  Please
don't remove the author information or make any changes
to this story.  You may post freely to non-commercial
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Thank you for your consideration.
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Sabrina's Magic Wand (MMf-teen, oral, sitcom parody)
By Mad Bohemian (moonmanmad@aol.com)

***

Sabrina the Teenage Witch acquires a magic wand to help 
kill her boredom.

***

Sabrina lay on her bed, wearing just her tee shirt and 
panties. She'd had a long difficult day; all morning and 
afternoon in school, then getting into trouble with her 
aunts Hilda and Zelda after she'd tried doing a spell and 
accidentally set Salem on fire. The cat, once ignited, 
began screaming and running all through the house, 
setting other things on fire, and Sabrina had had to 
follow him around with the extinguisher. 

Nothing really got damaged (except for Salem, who was 
resting comfortably now in the burn ward of a netherworld 
hospital) but Sabrina had been grounded anyway. She was 
stuck in her bedroom with nothing to do; she wasn't 
allowed to work any magic, she didn't feel like watching 
TV or reading or listening to music, and she sure as hell 
wasn't going to do any of the homework piled up on her 
desk like the Empire State Building. 

She was bored. And feeling a little bit horny, which was 
what had gotten her into this situation in the first 
place (the spell she'd attempted was supposed to give her 
"something to quench a hot pussy" but she'd gotten the 
words mixed up or something). What was a normal healthy 
witch just one day shy of her eighteenth birthday and 
legal adulthood to do in such dire straits? Sabrina 
figured the answer was obvious.

The only light in her room was the soft glow of her 
bedside lamp, which made everything dim and cozy. Sabrina 
relaxed on the bed, half closed her eyes, and let her 
hands begin to wander over her body. She started with her 
breasts, fondling them gently through the thin cotton tee 
shirt, then pulled the shirt up, baring them to the cool 
evening air. She cupped and squeezed them, caressed her 
soft creamy flesh, took her hardening nipples in her 
fingers and played with them. One of her hands slid down 
her smooth flat belly to the waistband of her panties, 
then under the waistband and down to the furry little 
spot between her legs. She touched herself there for a 
few minutes, then sat up and pulled her tee shirt off. 
She lay back down and slipped off her panties. Completely 
nude now, she resumed touching and fondling her body, 
pulled on her breasts some more, rubbed herself between 
her legs.

She closed her eyes and tried to imagine somebody, maybe 
a cute young guy like Leonardo DiCaprio or one of the 
Backstreet Boys, doing her with passion and verve and a 
great big dick, but for some reason she couldn't conjure 
up a clear and satisfying fantasy. But even if she could 
she knew that ultimately it wouldn't be as good as 
getting the real thing. Masturbation, at least in 
Sabrina's view, was just an interim measure, a lonely 
activity that was at best a poor substitute.

Normally she'd just zap up a guy and spend a few hours 
getting her pipes cleaned, but her aunts had done more 
than simply forbidden her to use her magic; they'd cast 
their own spell on her and taken away her powers until 
further notice. So she was left with just her fingers, or 
maybe some phallic object if she got desperate enough. 
She wasn't really that crazy about riding her witch's 
broom, but what else could she do?

The problem was that she couldn't get off, no matter how 
hard she concentrated, no matter how furiously she rubbed 
herself between her legs or how ardently she fondled her 
breasts. She was still left right on the edge of 
pleasure, unable to propel herself over the side and down 
into the well of orgasm. She couldn't come, dammit.

Sabrina sighed and moaned in frustration. This was 
definitely not fair. Her aunts might be satisfied with 
doing themselves (or even each other, probably) since 
they were both about five million years old and had 
nothing else to look forward to, but she was young, she 
was beautiful, she had a killer bod, and she deserved a 
nice hot sweaty boy. Hell, she was so cute she deserved 
two. But she was stuck here in her dumb boring dickless 
room with zilch. Goddamn her aunts anyway. Mangy old 
dykes had cobwebs in their cunts. Dried up old fucking 
pieces of shit-

There was a knock on Sabrina's door, interrupting her 
thoughts. Sabrina waited until there was another knock, 
then called out, "I can't open it! The hags cast a 
spell!" but then there was another knock and she realized 
that it wasn't coming from her bedroom door.

"My closet?" she asked. "Someone's knocking on my closet 
door? Hey! There aren't any lesbians in there trying to 
get out, are there? Because I have to tell you, that 
stuff is only funny the first five or ten times-"

Another knock, this one a little more insistent.

Sabrina rolled her eyes and got up from the bed. She put 
on her robe, the pretty black one, tied the belt around 
her waist, and approached the closet door. There was yet 
another knock.

"I'm coming!" Sabrina yelled. "So to speak."

She opened the closet door and was surprised (and a 
little bit creeped out) to find a tall fat man standing 
there. He was dressed like a used car salesman.

"Hello there!" he said. "Are you the lady of the house?"

"I'm the only one that's not the same age as God," 
Sabrina replied. "What do you want? And what the hell are 
you doing in my closet?"

"Oh, the question isn't what I want," the large man said. 
"The question, my dear, is what do you want?"

"Huh?"

The portly man pulled the lapel of his plaid suit coat 
open and revealed several rows of watches and gold 
chains.

"Timepieces," he said, "jewelry, potions, spell books, 
magic wands, ben-wa balls, whatever your lovely little 
heart desires."

"First of all," Sabrina said, "you didn't tell me why 
you're lurking in my closet. Second of all, these," she 
cupped her breasts for a moment, "are not my lovely 
little heart, so stop staring at them. Third, I've 
already got a set of ben-wa balls and they're no great 
shakes. So to speak. Fourth-"

"Are you going to talk forever, little girl?"

"Fourth," Sabrina repeated, "my aunts, Godzilla and 
Mothra, took away my powers, which actually doesn't have 
that much to do with what we're talking about, it just 
pisses me off. And last-"

"Oh, thank goddess!"

"-I'm not interested in whatever cheap crap you're trying 
to fence, so get lost. Um.did you say magic wand?"

The fat man's friendly grin turned into a leer.

"I sure did, my dear," he said. He reached into the other 
side of his coat and slowly pulled out a long thin wand. 
It was silver and sparkly and Sabrina thought it was just 
about the coolest thing she'd ever seen. Aside from Salem 
in flames, anyway. "Top of the line model. Guaranteed to 
work any time, day or night, and in most dimensions. 
Plus, you don't have to actually be in possession of your 
magical capabilities to use it, because it comes with its 
own rechargeable battery. Recharger sold separately."

"You mean I could use it without my magic?"

"I think that's what I just said, yes."

"Wow." Sabrina reached for the wand but the fat guy 
pulled it back just out of her reach.

"No, sorry," he said, "gotta have cash up front. And no 
exchanges if it doesn't fit."

"Doesn't fit?"

"You'll see what I mean. So what do you say, my dear?"

"Don't call me that."

"Sorry. Come on, my dear, it's only five netherworld 
credits."

"Five credits!?!" Sabrina yelped. "What do you think I 
am, made of money?"

"Well, no," the badly dressed tub of lard said, "you look 
like you're made of something much yummier than that. But 
five credits is the going rate. However." He looked 
around furtively, as if someone might be spying on them. 
"If you don't actually have the credits, there still 
might be a way for you to get the wand."

"Yeah, I know, I thought about robbing you but my 
butthole aunts confiscated my gun too."

"No, no, no," the jumbo sized jerk said. "I mean, there's 
a way we can reach a deal. I'll give you the wand and 
just take the cost out in trade."

Sabrina had to think about that for a minute, but then it 
dawned on her.

"Oh, gross!" she said. "That's the most disgusting thing 
I've ever heard."

"Disgusting as it may be," the corpulent creep said, 
holding the wand enticingly in front of Sabrina's face, 
"you don't get the wand unless you get my wand first."
"No way. I'd rather wear nipple clamps."

"Come now, my dear, it doesn't have to be that bad. Just 
close your eyes and pretend I'm your math teacher."

"But look at you. You're as big as a fucking house. I let 
you climb on me and you'll crush me to death. And don't 
think UPN will pick me up like they did Buffy."

"Okay then, no wand, see ya!"

Blimp boy turned as if to go.

"Wait a minute!" Sabrina cried. "How about this? How 
about..oh Goddess, I don't believe I'm actually gonna say 
this..how about if I ..give you..a blowjob? Ew."

"You've got a deal!" the fat salesman said. He tossed the 
wand on the floor and started undoing his pants. "Take 
your robe off, my dear."

"What? Why? I don't have to be naked to give you head."

"No naked, no-"

"Oh alright!"

Sabrina took off her robe and stood nude before the big 
fat man, who she was beginning to think of as "Swamp 
Thing" (she wasn't sure why that name seemed to fit, but 
it did), and tried to keep her dinner down while he 
fished his dick out of his pants. She wasn't surprised to 
see that it was very small. It looked like a pinky with a 
helmet instead of a fingernail.

"Well," she said, "at least I won't have to worry about 
choking on it."

"Enough with the snide comments, my dear," Swamp Thing 
said. "Now get over here and start earning that wand."

"Fine," Sabrina said. She got on her knees in front of 
the elephantine swamp monster and took his dinky dick in 
her hand. Immediately he began to moan and play with her 
ponytail. Sabrina almost told him not to mess up her hair 
but decided not to; she didn't want to start a fight, or 
waste any more time with this loser than she absolutely 
had to. She closed her eyes and opened her mouth and took 
his little weenie between her lips. Fighting back the 
gagging reflex, she started to suck on it, and less than 
a minute later the swamp rat suddenly clutched her tits 
(hard enough to hurt, the fucker), and with accompanying 
howls of pleasure and cries of "Mommy! Mommy!" the 
oversized bog creature came.

If you could call it that.

The hours she'd spent after school, either trying to 
improve her pitiful grades or serving detention, had 
taught Sabrina that giving head always resulted in a 
mouthful of jizz (except for Mr. Lewis, who for some 
reason always preferred spraying it in her hair), but 
this time she didn't even get a thimbleful. There wasn't 
even enough there to fill one of her cavities. In fact, 
just a few drops came dribbling out, and if it wasn't for 
the typically foul taste she probably wouldn't even have 
noticed. She told herself she shouldn't have been 
surprised.

"Oh, my dear," Swamp Hippo said, weaving back toward the 
closet and zipping himself up at the same time, "that was 
simply marvelous. Stupendous. Much more than adequate."

"Gee, thanks," Sabrina said. She got to her feet and 
pulled on her robe, then picked the wand up from the 
floor. She spit out a pubic hair.

"Well," the Blob said, "I hate to come and go like this," 
he chuckled a little but stopped when he saw the frosty 
look Sabrina was giving him, "but I've got a Slayer 
sexbot to deliver to some goofy vampire in Sunnydale." He 
stepped into the closet and started to pull the door 
closed.

"Wait a minute!" Sabrina yelled. "You never told me why 
you were in my closet. What the fuck was that all about?"

"Oh, I don't know," Swamploaf replied. "I think it has 
something to do with the closet being a portal to the 
netherworld. I'm not sure, though, I missed that episode. 
Bye now!" He slammed the door hard enough to knock a 
picture off the wall.

"Fucking clown," Sabrina muttered, then spit out another 
pubic hair.

She looked at the magic wand. It was a pretty wand. All 
silver and sparkly. She wondered what amazing things she 
could do with it. Zap up millions of dollars? Or maybe a 
Mazzeratti in the driveway? Use it to take over her Aunt 
Hilda's and Zelda's minds and make them tear each other 
limb from limb?

"Oh, I know," she said. She waved the wand in the air for 
a moment, then pointed it at her bed. "Slave boy!"

Nothing. Hmm. She looked at the wand closely. It seemed 
like a typical sparkly wand. It should have worked. Hell, 
it was guaranteed, according to that closet hopping 
pencildick.

Then, suddenly, and for no apparent reason, the wand 
began to glow and hum. And vibrate.

"Shit," Sabrina said. "I have a whole drawer full of 
these."

She tossed the wand across the room in disappointment and 
frustration. Except it didn't go across the room. It only 
sailed about two feet before it stopped, all on its own, 
and hovered in the air.

"What the hell?"

Sabrina took a few steps closer to the wand. It was still 
glowing and humming and vibrating. She thought about 
reaching out and touching it but was suddenly nervous. 
What if this thing was alive or something? And just as 
she had that thought the sparkling wand began to shift 
and change, the humming sound got louder, and it quickly 
swelled into the shape of a very long and thick and 
menacing looking penis.

Sabrina screamed and ran for the bedroom door, but she 
couldn't open it because of the spell her skanky aunts 
had cast. "Stupid bitches!" she screamed, and darted for 
the window, still screaming, but she couldn't get the 
window open either. Gripped with a numbing fear now, 
Sabrina ran around the room in circles, screaming and 
waving her arms, her robe flying open and falling off her 
shoulders to the floor. She continued to panic for almost 
two more minutes before she realized that the magic penis 
wasn't chasing her.

She stopped and sat on the end of her bed, naked, out of 
breath, and feeling ridiculous. The silver phallus had 
grown even longer, and was still glowing and sparkling 
and humming and floating in the air in the center of the 
room.

"Oh my goddess," Sabrina breathed, "that's the biggest 
dildo I've ever seen. Except for the dildo who sold it to 
me."

Now she really wanted to touch it. She stood up and 
approached it. Slowly and carefully she reached out and 
curled her fingers around the shaft. The thing throbbed 
and pulsed in her hand. Out of habit she began to stroke 
it, discovering that it didn't feel like a dildo at all, 
it had a swollen meaty texture to it, and its surface 
moved with her hand, like skin. It felt real.

"Oh wow," Sabrina said, "it really is alive. It could 
actually be a living sentient creature, blessed with the 
precious gift of life, capable of love and joy and 
sorrow. Maybe I should kill it."

The magic dick was floating just in front of her 
bellybutton. Sabrina tried to pull it up in front of her 
face but it wouldn't budge, so she got on her knees and 
looked at it eyes to eye.

"Hello," she said. "Are you a person? Can you hear me? 
Can you speak? Do you have any credit cards?"

The thing had grown to be about ten inches long. It was 
fat and warm and still throbbing and glowing and 
sparkling and Sabrina realized as she continued to stroke 
it that she was getting turned on. But how could she 
control the wand if all it did was hover in the air and 
make that spooky humming noise? There had to be some way 
to communicate with it, some way to make it do her 
bidding. It was a magic wand, for goddess's sake, so 
where was the magic?

"Make a wish."

What? Was that a voice? But she took her medication this 
morning.

"Make a wish."

There it was again. And it wasn't coming from inside her 
head, it was coming from the wand.

"Oh wow," she said. "A floating throbbing glowing 
sparkling humming prick that actually talks. Yeah, 
everything's normal in my world."

"Make a wish, you dumb cunt."

"Okay, okay, no need to get testicle about it." Sabrina 
closed her eyes and said, "I wish my aunts were still 
stuck in that Nazi concentration camp."

"No, no, no, make a different wish."

"But I like that one. Besides, you're a magic wand, not 
Aladdin's lamp. You're supposed to respond to my will."

"Give me a break. The guy who's writing this is an 
untalented moron who has no idea where the story's going. 
He's just making it up as he goes along. Now, make a 
wish. And stop stroking me like that or I'll shoot."

"But isn't this what I'm supposed to do? Rub the magic 
lamp and out pops-"

Just at that moment the floating choda erupted, spraying 
Sabrina's face and breasts with sperm. Sabrina yelped and 
fell back on her butt, just like she did in detention.

"Oh, thanks a lot, creep," she said. She wiped the warm 
gooey stuff off her face.

"Hey, I warned ya. Now, you gonna make that wish or not?"

"I wish you hadn't come in my face, how's that?"

"No. A different wish."

"I wish Salem had burned to death."

"A different wish. Try to frame it around the concept of 
a tall muscular and financially stable guy who looks a 
lot like Tom Cruise. No, wait, Brad Pitt."

"Oh, okay, I get it." Sabrina finished wiping the sperm 
from her body, rubbed it into the carpet, and said, "I 
wish I had a guy with Bruce Willis's body, Brad Pitt's 
face, Stephen Hawking's intelligence, and Bill Gates's 
bank account. And the stamina of a porn star. And Boy 
George's sensitivity. He's such a sweet guy."

"Are you through?"

"Oh, and super size it."

"As you wish," the sparkling rod said.

Suddenly a shazamlike lightning bolt flashed in the room, 
Sabrina screamed, and the magic wand was transformed.

"Son of a bitch!" he said. "Look what you did to me! You 
gave me the body of Stephen Hawking, the face of Boy 
George, the bank account of an out of work porn star, the 
stamina of Bill Gates, the sensitivity of Bruce Willis, 
and the intelligence of Brad...um, Brad...that idiot in 
that movie."

"Oh wow," Sabrina said.

"Oh wow? That's all you can say? Look at me, I'm in a 
fuckin wheelchair!"

"I'm so sorry. Gee, you must be pretty upset."

"Does it sound like I'm ordering a fuckin pizza?"

"Well, what can I do? How can I fix this?"

"I dunno!" the former magic wand and currently 
incapacitated man said. "I don't remember! You gave me 
the brain of an ape!"

"Wait a minute!" Sabrina cried. "I have an idea!"

"Great," the crippled man replied, his voice dripping 
with sarcasm. "I can't wait to find out what it is. Just 
don't tell me you see dead people, cause that would ruin 
my whole fuckin day."

"Oh, okay, so I don't have an idea. Oh wait! I know!"

Sabrina crawled over to the magic invalid, took his 
withered flaccid penis in her hand, and began stroking 
it.

"Oh good," the completely impaired man said, "return to 
the scene of the crime, why dontcha."

"I'm gonna wish again," Sabrina said. She closed her 
eyes. "I wish you had Stephen Hawking's body, Boy 
George's face, Bill Gates's stamina, Bruce Willis's 
sensitivity, Brad Pitt's supposed intelligence, and that 
you were in debt up to your ears."

"Um, witchgirl, I think maybe you weren't paying 
attention?"

"Shut up and grant my wish, Mr. Glass."

"Okay, but I got a bad feelin about this..as you wish!"

Suddenly a shazamlike lightning bolt flashed in the room, 
Sabrina screamed, and the broken down shell of a man was 
transformed. He was now a tall and muscular (and very 
well hung, Sabrina was pleased to see) Adonis.

"Hey!" he said. "It worked! And now that I've got my 
brain back I understand how you did it! You simply wished 
for the opposite of what you truly wanted! Because your 
luck is so shitty that your magic always turns out 
backward! Because you yourself are such a backward human 
being! Because you're such a dimwitted pathetic slut 
loser-"

"Okay, okay, that's enough," Sabrina said. "You granted 
my wish and now I've got my sex god to play with." She 
jumped onto the bed and spread her legs and said, "Come 
and get me, Brad!"

Brad growled and leaped toward the bed. He landed 
perfectly between Sabrina's legs and impaled her with his 
gigantorsized dick. Sabrina cried out with surprise and 
pleasure as he fucked her until they both reached the 
pinnacle of desire. Afterward, Sabrina and her new 
playmate lay in bed together, smoking cigarettes and 
talking.

"Wow," Sabrina said, "that was the best pinnacle of 
desire I've ever had."

"Tell me about it," Brad replied.

Sabrina rolled over and looked at the clock on her 
nightstand.

"Oh my goddess," she said, "it's two in the morning. 
We've been fucking for hours."

"Tell me about it," Brad replied.

"I wonder why my aunts Beavis and Butthead haven't even 
come in to check on me, let alone lift the spell? I've 
been a good girl, haven't I?"

"Tell me about it," Brad replied. "But don't worry about 
the spell, Sabrina. That was lifted a couple of hours 
ago."

"Really? How?"

"I lifted it myself. Right around the time you were 
reaching your thirteenth pinnacle of desire."

"But what about my aunts?"

"Oh, I sent them to the violent sex offenders wing at San 
Quentin."

"Oh wow, you did that for me?" Sabrina squealed in 
delight and hugged Brad, who very smoothly guided her 
head down to his lap. Sabrina, overcome with gratitude, 
began to suck him with wild abandon.

"Oh, and one more thing," Brad said. "Your cat is dead."

THE END

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
It's okay to *READ* stories about unprotected sex with
others outside a monogamous relationship. But it isn't
okay to *HAVE* unprotected sex with people other than
a trusted partner. You only have one body per lifetime,
so take good care of it!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Kristen's collection - Directory 15