("`-''-/").___..--''"`-._
                     `6_ 6  )   `-.  (     ).`-.__.`)
                     (_Y_.)'  ._   )  `._ `. ``-..-'
                    _..`--'_..-_/ /--'_.' ,'
                   ((('   (((-(((''  ((((
                 K R I S T E N' S    C O L L E C T I O N
		_________________________________________
		                WARNING!
		This text file contains sexually explicit
		material. If you do not wish to read this
		type of literature, or you are under age,
		PLEASE DELETE THIS FILE NOW!!!!
		_________________________________________




			Scroll down to view text


















--------------------------------------------------------
This work is copyrighted to the author © 2007.  Please
don't remove the author information or make any changes
to this story.  All rights reserved. Thank you for your 
consideration.
--------------------------------------------------------

Friends: Joey and Chandler
By Joe Jones (jonesboy@worldnet.att.net)

***

In this unauthorized episode of the popular sit-com, 
Joey and Chandler become more than just good friends, 
they fall into a sexual relationship. (MM, 1st-gay-
expr, tv-parody)

***

Chandler, as usual, wasn't getting any. It had been a 
long time, maybe six months, since he'd gotten laid. 
Hell, who was he kidding? More like 8 months. And one 
week. And three days. To make matters worse, Joey was 
setting some kind of world record in sex, bringing 
someone home almost every night of the week. Sometimes 
one girl for a while, more often different ones. The 
wall separating their bedrooms was mercilessly thin, 
and Chandler could hear every giggle and groan on the 
other side, every yelp when Joey slid his big dick into 
his date, every orgasmic howl, groan and squeal. 

He could swear, sometimes, lying there jerking off his 
own dick, that he could hear the squishy sounds of 
fucking, the hot and fast breath of Joey and his date. 
So masturbating while listening to your roommate screw 
his girl wasn't exactly dignified, but Chandler was 
beginning to feel that this was as close to actual sex 
as he was going to get any time soon. He started to 
feel like he was having sex with them, sort of a three-
way -- yeah, if you just think of the wall between them 
as a sort of really big plaster condom.

If he carried the idea of being a participant through, 
Chandler was actually the only constant in Joey's sex 
life. The girls came and went, but Joey was always 
there, and so was Chandler. After all this time 
Chandler probably knew more about Joey's sex habits 
than anyone else -- he could always tell when Joey was 
going to cum, for example, by the speed of his 
groaning, by the same "oh baby yeah, oh baby yeah" 
every time. And of course Chandler had seen Joey naked 
any number of times, stepping out of the shower with 
his horse cock hanging out. *Jesus,* Chandler had said, 
the first time he saw it, *put that away before you 
poke someone's eye out.* Joey just replied *Huh?*

For awhile after that Chandler secretly nicknamed Joey 
Dumbo - as much for his lack of brains as his elephant-
trunk like dick.

Chandler slid his fist up and down his erection a few 
times, and thrust his hips forward slightly. It felt 
good enough, but damn, something was missing. With Joey 
out for the night, Chandler faced jerking off without 
the familiar sounds from the other side of the wall. Of 
course jerking off was always something he did alone, 
but he'd gotten accustomed to the sounds, and where he 
was once annoyed he now felt a craving for the voices, 
for the deep timbre of Joey and the higher pitch of *oh 
baby yeah*. 

Chandler wet his middle finger in his mouth and slid it 
down to his asshole, which he circled and then slid the 
tip in, up to the first, and then second joint of his 
finger. He sighed lightly, surprised at how good his 
finger felt in his ass, better even than he remembered. 
He had always wanted one of his girlfriends to 
penetrate his asshole but never had the nerve to ask. 
The girls he went out with were always such prudes 
anyway. 

What would they have used, he wondered. A dildo? A 
cucumber? The idea made his cock bounce up and down 
against his flat belly. It had been a while since he'd 
gotten into any serious ass-play, especially with Joey 
around all the time. But he remembered a few times when 
it seemed there was no end of what he could put up his 
hole, and the incredible orgasms he'd had then.

Chandler hopped out of bed and walked into the kitchen. 
The refrigerator was pretty empty, as usual. There were 
a few beers, but the idea of putting a glass object up 
his ass made Chandler wince. He couldn't stop thinking 
of broken glass, and the scene at the emergency room. 
Still, there had to be something. He was going to go 
nuts if he didn't have something stuffed into him soon. 
Just as he was wondering where he could buy a dildo at 
this time of the night, he spotted the brown paper bag. 
In it were the zucchinis that Joey's dad had brought 
him awhile ago. 

Chandler ripped the bag open and looked them over, 
muttering like Goldilocks *too big, too little, too 
soft, too hard* and then *just right...yes!* His legs 
almost trembled and his asshole tightened with 
expectation. But Chandler wasn't done yet -- he'd need 
some lube. He rummaged around the bathroom, but found 
nothing. Maybe Monica or Rachel would have some hand 
lotion or something, or...no, of course: Chandler lived 
with a registered sex machine. Joey would have to have 
some lube!

Zucchini in hand Chandler entered Joey's room, careful 
not to trip on the clothes lying on every horizontal 
surface. The last time he was in Joey's room he stubbed 
his toe on a 20 lb. dumbell camouflaged under a black 
t-shirt, and he didn't want to do the same thing 
tonight. *Jeez,* he thought, *this place looks like a 
jeans and t shirt farm.* He looked under clothes, on 
his night table, in his dresser, but didn't turn up any 
lube. He sat on the well used bed, and then it hit him. 
He looked under the bed and found it: a big bottle of 
clear ooze in a plastic bottle. His heart pounded hard 
with excitement.

God, it had been a long time since he'd been so turned 
on by the idea of masturbating. And it wasn't just the 
zucchini that got to him. It was that it was Joey's 
father who brought the zucchini, and Joey's lube, 
hidden under his bed. Joey's bed. And Chandler knew he 
had to do it there, right then.

He flipped open the dome-like top and poured lube out 
onto the smooth end of the zucchini, then smeared it on 
with his hand. He crouched on his knees and set the 
zucchini right under his ass, which he slowly lowered. 
It pressed hard against his hole, and then eased in, 
little by little. Chandler gasped, and chuckled, 
delighted by the pleasure of doing this, of doing it 
here. He let in a good portion, two, three inches, then 
paused and bounced lightly on it. His dick was dripping 
a long strand of pre-cum, stretching from his dick head 
to the slate colored comforter on Joey's bed. 

Chandler reached over to the floor where he found a 
crumpled t-shirt which he used to wipe up the pre-cum. 
He didn't worry that Joey would be wearing this again, 
it was so wrinkled and smelled of sweat. Chandler held 
it up to his face and inhaled deeply. He let the 
zucchini slide deeper into him, feeling every inch push 
into his rectum. 

He didn't know how much he'd gotten in, but his bowel 
felt full, and the electric sensations it prompted ran 
from deep in him to his every extremity, to his skin, 
to his rock hard cock. His wrapped his right hand, 
still wet with lube, around his pulsating cock and 
started to beat it, taking long deliberate strokes, 
while his ass gripped tightly around the long hard 
object rammed deep into it. 

He bounced on the zucchini, letting it slide still 
deeper into him as he neared orgasm. He heard low moans 
and panting breath, and then realized it was coming 
from himself. He could hear the bed board creak as he 
bounced harder onto the makeshift dildo, as his hand 
worked faster up and down his dick. He heard a click, 
and a squeak, and then... what? A door shut. A door? Oh 
fuck -- THE DOOR!

Chandler sprung to his feet, the zucchini shooting out 
of him and landing with a dull thud on Joey's bed. 
Chandler spun around, muttering *fuck, fuck, fuck*. He 
picked up the slimy zucchini, in the t-shirt he'd been 
sniffing, and jumped off the bed, to hide... where... 
the closet, no, under the bed, no...oh fuck...the door, 
hide behind the bedroom door. He pressed tight into the 
corner, between the bedroom door and the wall. 

He could hear Joey walk around the apartment. He could 
hear him open and shut the refrigerator door. He could 
hear him call Chandler's name. Then walk... towards the 
door? No. To the bathroom! He could hear Joey walk into 
the bathroom, and shut the door, and turn on the 
shower. Yes, the shower! Chandler breathed in and out 
deeply, almost crying with relief. He waited until he 
was sure Joey must be in the shower, then quietly 
opened the bedroom door. 

Bare naked, the zucchini and t-shirt firmly in hand he 
took long tip-toe steps across the bit of living room 
separating him from his bedroom, his haven. And then a 
creak. And the bathroom door swinging open. And Joey 
walking out, naked, dropping his t shirt and jeans and 
underwear on the floor outside his bedroom.

"Chandler?" he asked, at the sight of his naked 
roommate.

Chandler froze, then looked Joey directly in the eye.

"So this is what you do when you think I'm not home, 
Joe, walk around naked?" he asked.

-~-

This was some weird shit, Joey thought, he and Chandler 
both standing there naked. And what was Chandler doing 
coming out of Joey's own bedroom, and why was he 
carrying a sticky wet zucchini around? And why was his 
boner dripping precum onto the floor. And then a gear 
turned, and then another, and Joey started to make 
sense of it all.

"Chandler," he began, "what're you... oh... no, not... 
oh... oh!"

"Joe, no, see it's just... I was, uh... cleaning? Um, 
making zucchini and... aw, crap."

"Jeez Chandler, with a zucchini from my dad? Man, I'm 
never gonna' be able that now."

*Idiot,* thought Chandler, *idiot.* But he said "Uh, 
no. I guess not."

"So what happened Chandler? Did you turn gay?"

"Gay? GAY! Joe, I am NOT gay!"

Joey sized up Chandler and laughed. "Well what's all 
THAT about, if you're not?"

"It's just... Joe, this IS something men do, you know. 
Straight men."

"No we don't," said Joey. "I never did it."

"Never? You NEVER did? Nothing in your butt ever? Not a 
finger tip even?"

"Nothing Chandler. Honest!"

"Well Joe, you don't know everything then. A lot of 
guys do it."

"How come?"

"Because we have a prostate gland in there, that feels 
good when you hit it."

"Well, I don't know anything about any prostrate gland, 
but if you're gay, it's okay with me."

"Pros-TATE, PROSTATE! Not prostrate!" Chandler shouted. 
"And I am NOT gay!"

Joey just glanced at the zucchini and smirked.

*God,* thought Chandler, *you're stupid. But cute. Aw, 
fuck.*

"I'm going to bed, Joe," Chandler said.

He threw the zucchini in the trash, washed his hands 
and went to his room.

-~-

After Chandler went to bed Joey decided to do the same 
thing. He bent over to pick up his clothes, and when he 
did, standing with his naked ass in the air, it 
occurred to him that some of what Chandler said might 
be true. He could remember some times when he had to 
get to a bathroom, when he had to take a dump, and how 
the sensation had given him an erection. In fact just 
thinking of having an erection gave him an erection 
right then!

He walked over to the kitchen area to turn the lights 
off, and the idea of Chandler and the zucchini throbbed 
in his brain. *Go away,* he thought, but it wouldn't. 
He opened the refrigerator door and looked at the bag 
of zucchinis. He opened the bag and took one out. 
*Pretty big,* he thought, and put it back. He started 
to shut the refrigerator door and stopped. He looked in 
the bag again, and took out another zucchini. A smaller 
one, though not a little one. *What the hell.*

In bed Joey poured some lube onto the zucchini, and 
then some onto his now stiff dick. He loved how the 
clear beads rolled down the length of his big cock. He 
knelt, and positioned himself over the zucchini, and 
pressed it to his virgin asshole. Fuck, if Chandler 
could do this, he could. There was pretty much nothing 
he hadn't done in bed before now, and he didn't want to 
miss out on any erotic pleasure.

It pressed into him, prying open his sphincter, and 
then slowly filling his butt. It didn't feel so good, 
but it didn't feel so bad either. Just like he needed 
to crap. He'd gotten most of it in, and wiggled his 
hips around to get into the best position. He started 
to whack his dick then, in long gliding strokes, which 
always felt good. As he did, he let his ass absorb a 
bit more of the vegetable, and then a bit more.

Maybe it did feel good after all. He thrust his hips 
forward, while clutching tight with his asshole, and 
felt a wave of pleasure cascade through him, centered 
in his butt. *Oh yeah,* he thought, *this must be it!*

As he continued to thrust, the waves of pleasure 
continued. He shoved some more of the zucchini into his 
ass, until about half the length was in him. He let 
himself bounce on his knees, fucking his own ass with 
the zucchini, making the bed beneath him rattle. *Oh 
fuck,* he thought, *Chandler was so right!* The thought 
of Chandler made his dick spill out a load of pre-cum, 
which his pounding hand caught up and smeared into the 
clear lube coating the length of his dick. 

Chandler, his best friend, who always called him Joe, 
instead of Joey, which he liked. He wished that he'd 
been nicer to Chandler earlier, especially about this. 
He wondered what Chandler did with his zucchini, how he 
shoved it up his ass. Joey could feel a big load of cum 
building in his balls, and thought how good it would 
feel to let it loose. If only he weren't alone. He 
tried to think of a girl, but his mind kept coming back 
to Chandler, who he had to admit he liked better than 
anyone else.

"Chandler," he whispered. An excruciating wave of 
pleasure caught him by surprise. He did it again, 
louder, and bounced hard in his bed, driving the 
zucchini into his ass as far as it could go without 
losing it in there altogether. He did it again, and 
again, feeling the come build in him as if he were a 
pressure cooker, or a geyser, or a fire hydrant. He 
wanted to shove the whole zucchini into himself, but 
was afraid to. Afraid to ruin the pleasure of the 
moment.

And then his door opened, and in walked Chandler, 
rubbing his eyes and whispering "What? Joe? Are you 
okay?"

Chandler hadn't been able to sleep anyway. Lying awake 
in the dark he heard some thumping, and then his name 
being called. He thought for a second that he was 
dreaming, but when he realized he wasn't he went right 
to the voice, to Joey's room. He was hoping for 
something - an apology? A word of understanding? But 
not this!

Joey smiled right at him, pounding his big arched 
erection with one hand, feeding his ass with the other. 
He wasn't about to stop now, if he could. Chandler's 
own dick stiffened right up at the sight of Joey going 
at it like this, his meaty pecs bouncing up and down, 
his dick ready to burst.

"Chandler," he whispered, almost grunted, "yeah..."

Chandler got down on his knees to better see what Joey 
was doing. Fascinated, Chandler slipped his hand under 
Joey, under his cock and big hairy balls, to touch the 
half zucchini sticking out of Joey's hole. Chandler was 
turned on beyond anything he'd known before, or he 
would never have had the nerve to do this. He pressed 
his fingers to the end of the zucchini and started to 
shove the whole of it into Joey.

"Ahhhhggg, no Chandler," Joey groaned, but beat his 
cock more furiously than before, "I can't."

"Yeah Joe, you can do it," whispered Chandler, 
delighting Joey's writhing. "You can take it."

Joey thought his head would explode, or his ass, but 
fuck it felt good! He thought it would rip him in half, 
having the whole thing up his ass like this, Chandler's 
fingers pumping it into him. Chandler. Joey thought of 
him, of Chandler's face so close to his cock, imagined 
his lips wrapped tight around Joey's dick as he rammed 
it into him, fucking his face and throat mercilessly.

The hot semen built up in Joey's balls rose up, churned 
in his cock, and the erupted in an explosive white arc, 
splattering Chandler's face, and then his shoulder. As 
the hot cum gushed out again and again, Joey's ass 
clenched tightly around the zucchini in his ass, 
kneading it with his rectum.

Almost immediately after he was filled with the urgent 
desire to get rid of it, to empty his ass of this 
foreign object. His bowels, worn to jelly, squeezed 
down hard, and his sphincter relaxed enough to shoot 
the zucchini out of his ass, like the biggest, hardest 
turd of his life. It shot out of him, and Chandler 
caught it, almost by instinct. He felt the hot slime 
and ooze in his palm, and thought that it ought to be 
gross, it ought to make him squirm with repulsion. But 
it didn't. In fact he didn't mind at all.

-~-

"I can't believe it," Joey said, wiping the sweat from 
his forehead with his bed sheet. "Man, I never knew 
about that at all!"

"Joe, you know all about women, but you never learned 
anything about your own body."

"Yeah," said Joey, not feeling too embarrassed. He was 
used to not knowing things.

Chandler got rid of the zucchini pretty quickly, 
tossing it into the already full garbage, and then 
washed his hands with lots of dish washing soap. Joey 
couldn't help but notice that Chandler still had a full 
erection, that it bounced when he ran across the room 
carrying the vegetable at arm's length, as if it were 
radioactive. That made him laugh. Chandler always 
cracked him up.

For his part, Chandler had a hard time keeping his eyes 
off Joey, as he wiped the sweat from his torso, still 
taking deep, heaving breaths. He picked a white t shirt 
off of the floor and scrubbed his hairy armpits with 
it, lifting first one, then the other. The perfect line 
running from Joey's armpit to the underside of his pec 
made Chandler almost shudder with desire. Joey's body 
had, in the time they'd lived together, grown from the 
slim, boyish body it once was to a more solid, more 
manly form. Chandler wished that he had put his mouth 
on Joey's cock while he had the opportunity.

"Chandler," Joey called out, "what about you?"

"What about me? What? What about me?"

"You gonna' get off?"

"Jeez Joey, I was afraid you were going to ask 
something personal," Chandler replied, in his most 
sarcastic tone.

"Hey, Chandler, you know, I got off with you. I figured 
you might wanna' do it too."

"I don't think so. It's to embarrassing."

"Really? I got off on it. Y'know. You being there."

"You did? Honest?"

"Hell, yeah. But if you don't want to..."

"Waitwaitwait," Chandler blurted out, rushing closer to 
his roommate, "I didn't say I don't want to. I mean, I 
COULD, I guess. If you wanted to." He paused. "Do you? 
You know. Want to?"

"Check it out," said Joey, nodding downward. His big 
cock was swelling up to another erection. It wasn't 
unusual for him to get off twice in one night.

"Oooookay," said Chandler, and started to stroke his 
own erection, finally.

The two looked at each other in silence, as they worked 
their cocks with their hands slowly, staking out this 
strange new territory cautiously. But definitely 
enjoying every step of it.

"Chandler," Joey said, "did you ever...you know, put 
anything else in your butt?"

"I guess," said Chandler, feeling little spasms of 
pleasure at Joey's voice, at Joey's curiosity. 
"Fingers, a cucumber...I was thinking of buying a, um, 
a dildo."

"Yeah?" asked Joey, stroking a little faster. "You mean 
shaped like a guy's dick?"

"I guess so. I guess that's what they are, Joe."

"You ever do it with a real one? A real dick? On a 
guy?"

Chandler just swallowed hard in response.

"I mean," Joey went on, "I thought... if you... you 
know. I thought maybe we...I think I know what I'm 
doing pretty good... down there, you know... no 
complaints yet... so if I... if we...."

"Okay," whispered Chandler, "let's do it."

-~-

Joey pressed the head of his well lubed cock to 
Chandler's asshole, gripping his hands tight around 
Chandler's smooth waist. On his knees, like a dog, 
Chandler could feel his heart pounding hard through 
every inch of his body. He wondered if Joey could feel 
the tremors through his fingers. Through the bulb 
pressing against his asshole. Pressing, and pushing. 
And entering, slowly, as a soft moan escaped Joey's 
lips, and then a deep groan from Chandler, as the 
massive cock inched its way into his waiting rectum.

Chandler's ass, already relaxed from his earlier 
efforts with the zucchini, took most of Joey's dick in 
quickly and easily. Joey ran his fingers over 
Chandler's back, tracing the muscles there with his 
rough finger tips, following them down to his slim 
hips, his white ass, the dark hole filled with Joey's 
cock.

*Yes,* Joey thought, *this is gonna' be soooo good!*

It took a little doing, getting the full length inside 
Chandler, but the both wanted it. "Yeah, there," 
Chandler would whisper, or "hold it... hold it... 
okay..." But in the end, Joey had stuffed Chandler 
full, amazed that anyone could take it all in their 
ass. And then Joey started to thrust. He was 
unaccustomed to fucking someone this way, at this 
angle, but it didn't take much to figure out. It was 
different than fucking a girl - tighter. But good. And 
he liked to feel Chandler's tight little muscles moving 
under his skin, gripping his cock.

Chandler seemed to really be getting off on it too, 
grunting and moaning. He was stroking his own cock, and 
Joey could tell that he wouldn't last much longer. Poor 
Chandler, he never knew how to enjoy a good thing. But 
Joey wanted to give him what he could, and really 
plowed into him. It was good hard work, and Joey sweat 
like a racehorse, fucking Chandler's hole with a fury 
he only had there, in bed. Chandler grunted, and his 
legs trembled, and Joey knew it was time to finish him 
off.

Joey wrapped his big arms around Chandler, and pulled 
him up so that he was almost sitting in Joey's lap, 
fucking him with hard, steady strokes the whole time. 
Chandler had already surrendered to the pleasure, and 
without a trace of modesty he pushed his own ass down 
onto Joey's hips, meeting each thrust with his own 
hungry asshole. He reached behind himself, to touch 
Joey, to bring him closer, and Joey nuzzled his face up 
against Chandler's shoulders. He kissed the nape of 
Chandler's neck, tasted their mingled sweat there. "Oh 
baby," he whispered.

Joey hugged Chandler tight against him, and ran his 
fingers over Chandlers body, his stiff little nipples, 
his smooth chest, the shadow of hair on his trim belly 
which fanned out into his crotch. Where his pussy would 
be, if he were a girl, Joey thought. But there was a 
dick there, hard and smeared with pre cum. *Not a 
girl,* Joey thought. *Chandler, my buddy,* he thought. 
And the idea excited him so much that he could feel his 
balls churn with cum. He could feel his own asshole 
pucker up tight. He wrapped his hand around Chandler's 
cock, and started to stroke it.

"Joe," whispered Chandler, "no... I'm gonna'..." he 
couldn't say the word, and he couldn't make Joey stop.

Didn't really want him to, anyway.

Joey kissed and bit Chandler's neck and shoulders, ran 
his tongue over his cheek and into his ear, pummeling 
his buddy ass and working his cock without pause. "Go 
on, baby," Joey whispered, "I want you to cum for me." 
God, it felt good to say that. Good to make Chandler 
get off. There was nothing Joey did better than this, 
and it made him happy to share it with his best friend.

Chandler trembled, felt Joey's hands and mouth on him, 
saw lights flashing in his closed eyes, and let go. He 
could hear, almost far away, Joey saying "Oh baby yeah, 
oh baby yeah, oh baby..." And his insides sucked up as 
much of Joey's cock as it could. Hot fluid burned in 
his balls, and then rushed through them, his shaft and 
sprayed up and out, in wild arcs of white spray.

Joey couldn't believe how good it felt, having 
Chandler's ass contract is spasms around his cock as 
Chandler came all over the place, and he rammed into 
him for all he was worth, oh baby, yeah, fucking 
Chandler's guts even as he milked his buddy's cock, and 
oh baby, yeah, Joey's own cum erupting inside Chandler, 
coating his buddy's guts with a big load of white 
semen. Oh yeah. Baby. Yeah.

Joey's still erect dick dropped out of Chandler's ass 
with a >pop<, and Chandler dropped flat on the bed, his 
legs too weak even to support him. Joey rested his 
heaving frame on top of him, and affectionately ran his 
hand over Chandler's back, slick with both their sweat.

"Man, that was great," whispered Joey.

"Yeah," replied Chandler, "I thought so."

"Next time we ought to try some different positions."

"Next..." said Chandler, surprised by his friend's 
assumption. "Yeah Joe. That'd be good."

Next time. Chandler's spent dick stiffened a bit at the 
idea of it. Next time.

The End

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
It's okay to *READ* stories about unprotected sex with
others outside a monogamous relationship. But it isn't
okay to *HAVE* unprotected sex with people other than
a trusted partner. 4-million people around the world 
contract HIV every year. You only have one body per 
lifetime, so take good care of it!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Kristen's collection - Sit-Com, TV & Movie Archive