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K R I S T E N' S C O L L E C T I O N
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Archive name: frasier.txt (MC, FF, MF, sitcom parody)
Authors name: MAW (MS4EVER321@aol.com)
Story title : Frasier
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-= This work is copyrighted to the author © 2000. =-
Please do not remove the author information or make
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Frasier (Sit-com parody, Celeb, MC, FF, MF)
By MAW (MS4EVER321@aol.com)
Not to be read by anyone under 18. This story contains
graphic descriptions of sexuality. If this offends you,
leave now. This is fiction. Hypnosis does not work this
way. If you feel like trying this seek help.
My thanks to the fan that sent this idea in. He
requested anonymity, but he knows who he is and thanks.
***
"No, madam, I can assure you, there is no chance
whatsoever that your collection of Bee Gees memorable
is causing your husband's impotence. Now, if it was the
Spice Girls, then there might be something."
Dr. Frasier Crane never ceased to be amazed at the
amazing amount of complexes in the population of
Seattle. After a slow start, his radio show was getting
good ratings and his reputation as a call-in
psychiatrist was building. It felt good to help people
out with their problems. Of course, he also attracted a
larger amount of nutcases than he had in private
practice.
"Well, that's all the time we have today," Frasier said
as he was given a signal by Roz, his assistant. "Until
next time, this is Dr. Frasier Crane, wishing you all
happy thoughts." With that, he flicked a switch and
leaned back. "God, what a pack of nutballs!"
"Um, Dr. Crane, you're still on the air," Roz said.
Frasier frantically looked behind him, to see the "ON
AIR" sign off. "Made you look," Roz laughed.
Frasier glared at her. "Do you make it your mission in
life to torment me?"
"It's more of a side hobby lately," Roz said as she
pulled her headphones off her brown hair. She was
attractive, with a curvaceous body that had more than
its fair share of tumbles in the sack. Clinically, Roz
was a sexual-compulsive with little taste for
commitment. Although she was a good producer and
Frasier did consider her a friend, her humor sometimes
got on his nerves. "I'll see you later. I have to take
care of some log stuff here."
"Are you on top or bottom?" Niles Crane said as he
entered. Frasier's brother was quite thin with fading
dark-blond hair and always wore a dour expression, one
deepened by his recent estrangement from his wife
Maris. While the last few years of their marriage
hadn't been a picnic, the end still hurt Niles. A
divorcee himself, Frasier could relate. Niles wasn't
exactly a fan of Roz's various flings. Satisfied with
his zinger, Niles turned his attention to his brother.
"Frasier, I was wondering if we could stop for a bite
to eat."
"Sorry, Niles, I'm going home. Since Dad is gone with
Eddie to that reunion, I intend to enjoy the peace and
serenity of my home while I can."
"Well, I can understand your hermitive behavior even if
I don't condone it." Niles and Frasier stepped into the
hallway, Frasier pulling on his coat. "Frasier, did you
receive that package from that old friend of yours in
Boston?"
"Ah, yes, the tapes. According to his description they
do marvels. The first ones are designed to be played in
waiting rooms. Underneath some nice jazz music is a
series of subliminal messages that lowers the
resistance level, makes the patient more susceptible to
hypnotic induction."
"Yes, thereby increasing the initial state of trance
and the subject's willingness to comply with
suggestions. Well, I stopped by your apartment this
afternoon to check them out, see if I can use them and
it seems that first one is missing."
"Really?" Frasier frowned. "Did Daphne know where it
was?"
"She was out at the store. The rest where stacked by
the stereo but the first one was missing. I was
wondering if you had it."
"I might have left it in my study at home. Tell you
what, I'll look for them when I get home and drop them
by you." With that, Frasier walked off, heading to his
car. Niles shook his head, bothered. His birthday was
tomorrow and Frasier hadn't said anything about it. It
wasn't that Niles thought Frasier had forgotten, he was
afraid Frasier was planning a party. Every time Frasier
tried to plan something fancy, it somehow turned into a
public nightmare. At least Maris hadn't been around to
most of them. Thinking of his ex-wife caused Niles to
sigh again. He had a meeting that afternoon with her
lawyers for further divorce settlements. As painful as
his marriage had been, the divorce was even worse.
He passed the control booth and saw Roz lightly
bouncing her head and humming. He paused, listening,
and slowly became aware that a jazz number was playing
over the speakers inside the booth. "Roz, what music is
this?"
"It's called jazz," Roz replied without turning around.
"It's arty, so you should know it."
"I meant where did you get it?"
"Oh, I snagged a tape from Frasier's last night.
Listened to it in the car. Pretty cool." A light bulb
went on in Niles' head. He gazed at Roz, who was fixing
her attention to the console. An idea began to creep
through Niles' brain. He had a more mischievous and
humorous mind than people thought and he had stumbled
upon a joke to play on his older brother. "You look
tired out, Roz."
"Hey, I didn't even have a date last night," Roz said,
on guard. "That is, not by choice, you know?"
"No, no, I didn't mean that. I meant you look stressed
from your work and job. I know Frasier isn't the
easiest person to get along with, especially on the
job."
"Tell me about it," Roz muttered.
"Let me show you a little something I know. It really
does help you relax, lowers your anxiety. Honest, it
does wonders."
"Well, all right." Niles came up behind Roz's chair.
"Okay, now just get comfortable and close your eyes."
Although a little wary, Roz did so. "Okay, now just
relax. Take a few nice, slow, deep breaths. Let the
tension flow from your body with every breath. Just
take it nice and slow. Try to clear your thoughts of
everything, all your worries and all your anxieties and
just let go and listen to my voice. Just listen to my
voice and take nice, slow breaths."
Niles placed his index fingers on Roz's temples and
began to move them in a light, circular motion, moving
his voice in a soft monotone. "Now, Roz, think of a
place. A nice, soothing place, somewhere where you feel
perfectly at ease and totally calm. Picture yourself in
that place, Roz. It's nice and wonderful and soothing.
Can you see yourself there?"
"Yeah..." Roz said sleepily.
"Good. Now, Roz, I want you to count backwards from a
hundred. Just count down from 100 and keep counting. As
you count, you will feel a wave of relaxation come over
you. As you count down, you will feel more and more
relaxed. With each number, you feel more and more
relaxed until you finally drift into a nice, restful
sleep. Now count down until you fall into this
wonderful sleep."
The tape had worked extremely well in lowering Roz's
resistance. She only made it to 87 before her voice
drifted off and her head lowered onto her chest. Niles
turned the chair so Roz faced him. "Now, Roz, I want
you to answer any of my questions honestly. You want to
answer them honestly. It makes you feel good to be
honest. Now, Roz, is Frasier planning a party for my
birthday?"
"..Yes.." Roz whispered.
Just as he'd thought. The idea that had come to Niles
wasn't quite ethical but he was in a mood for mischief
at the moment and wanted to play a joke on his brother.
"Now, Roz, when I snap my fingers, you won't remember
anything about this conversation. When you leave here,
you will go to Frasier's apartment. As you near his
apartment, you will begin to feel aroused, excited. As
you get nearer and nearer, you will begin to feel
horny. You will be very horny by the time you enter
Frasier's apartment. And you will want to feel sexual
satisfaction badly. So badly that you will want sex at
that very moment. Also, when you hear my voice say the
words 'Picasso kablam', you will fall once again into
this wonderful state of sleep. Now, remember that but
nothing else." Niles stood up and snapped his fingers.
Roz blinked open her eyes and shook her head. "Wow,
that really worked. Thanks, Niles."
"Don't mention it." Niles walked out, a broad smile on
his face as he thought about the way things were going
to play out.
***
Frasier walked into his apartment, threw his coat onto
the chair and collapsed onto the couch. "I need a
drink," he muttered.
"Well, don't be expecting me to get it." Daphne's
British accent filled the apartment as she stepped out
of the kitchen. "I've got enough on my hands cleaning
this place before your father gets home."
"Please, I've seen what Eddie does, he shouldn't be
bothered by untidiness," Frasier said. Daphne sat down
on the chair, sighing. "Woo, good to take a load off."
Frasier glanced at his watch. He had just enough time
to get himself a drink before going down to drop off
the fee for Niles' party. He nervously took his pen out
of his vest pocket and began to lightly twirl it in
between his thumb and forefinger. "By the way, Daphne,
have you seen that tape I had by the stereo last
night?"
"Oh, the jazz one, yes, I listened to it last night
while I was cleaning. Good music there." Daphne's eyes
were fixed on the pen in Frasier's hand, the way the
light glinted off it and shone. It was soothing in a
way, the nice patterns of light and they way they moved
back and forth. They seemed to be just the right thing
to watch after a hard day of work. It felt good just to
sit back and watch and relax.
Frasier had continued to talk, making plans for Niles'
party and for the upcoming week. It was a few minutes
before he noticed Daphne's silence. He glanced at her
and saw her eyes half-closed, fixed on the shining pen
he was twirling. He was confused at first, then
remembered the tape Daphne had heard. His first impulse
was to snap her out of it, but an idea suddenly sprang
into his mind. Before he could talk himself out of it,
he raised the pen up, Daphne's gaze following it.
"Watch the pen, Daphne. It's so relaxing and so
soothing to watch the pen. Watch the light gleam off it
as it turns, back and forth, back and forth, waves of
light coming into your eyes. It's so wonderful to watch
and you feel so relaxed now. So very relaxed. As the
waves of light keep coming, your eyes feel heavy and
relaxed. You feel so tired now all you want to do is
close your eyes. Close them. Just close your eyes and
relax completely." Daphne's eyes shut and she slipped
down slightly in her seat. Frasier appraised her,
unsure of what to do next. He decided to ask her a
question that had been bothering him for years.
"Daphne, are you aware that Niles loves you?"
Daphne's lips parted slightly as she whispered "yes.."
Nodding, Frasier asked another question. "Do you love
Niles?"
After a moment of hesitation, Daphne replied. "Yes.."
"I'll be damned," Frasier said. All the pining Niles
had been doing for the last few years and Daphne felt
the same way. They were probably too afraid of
commitment and rejection to say anything about it.
Frasier thought for a moment before coming to a
solution. All right, it wasn't ethical, but if it
stopped this romantic cat-and-mouse game of theirs,
it'd be worth it. "Daphne, when I tell you to wake up,
you'll awaken with no memory of being asleep. Now, as
you work her today, you'll begin to feel a growing
sense of sexual arousal, one that you'll want to
release. The next time a person comes to this apartment
and make an advance to you, you want to answer it in
full at that very moment. Now, if you hear me say
'Flower dower', you'll fall back into this wonderful
sleep state. Remember that and nothing else. Now, wake
up."
Daphne's eyes snapped open as clarity returned to her
features. "I'm sorry, Dr. Crane, I must have dozed
off."
"No problem, Daphne," Frasier said as he stood up.
"I've got some things to do. I won't be back until
later."
"All right, see you then." Daphne waved as Frasier
walked out, his mind already imagining the look on
Niles' face when he arrived.
***
Roz was horny. Really horny. She hadn't felt this hot
in a long time.
It seemed to have increased as she walked to Frasier's
door. Weird. Roz didn't know what was causing it but
she did know what to do to end it.
She knocked on the door and gave a quick scratch to her
crotch. She could feel a slight dampness already there.
She threw her hand away as the door opened and Daphne
stood there. "Oh, Roz, come on in. I'm afraid Frasier's
not here right now."
"That's okay," Roz said as she stepped inside. She
paused in the middle of the room, gathering her
thoughts. "Something the matter?" Daphne asked as she
came up behind her.
"No," Roz replied. "Yes. I don't know." She turned
around and faced Daphne. "Look, this may be an off-the-
wall question but have you ever-done it-with a woman?"
Daphne turned her face away and Roz instantly felt
guilty. "I'm sorry, I didn't have any right to ask."
"No, it's all right," Daphne said, sighing. "The answer
is no, but I have thought about it a bit. You know,
youthful imaginings, things like that. But I've never
done it."
"I have," Roz said. "A few times." She put her hand in
Daphne's. "It's actually not bad." She and Daphne stood
for a moment, gazing at each other. Then, Roz leaned in
and kissed Daphne lightly. They were frozen for a
moment, then Daphne slowly leaned in and returned the
kiss as the two embraced.
***
Niles almost threw back his coffee with glee, his mind
trying to gauge the expression on Frasier's face when
Roz came onto him. He didn't really know if Frasier
would go for it, but it would be fun. Niles' mood
lasted to about two seconds after he saw Frasier walk
through the door. Frasier saw him as well and the two
stared at one another in shock. Frasier charged to
Niles' table and took a seat. "What are you doing
here?" he hissed.
"What're you? And why are you so concerned?"
They blurted it out at once, each stunned at what the
other had been planning. Frasier bolted out of his
seat. "We have to get there."
"You don't think Roz would come onto Daphne, do you?"
"For God's sake Niles, the woman thinks the Kama Sutra
is a beginner's manual!" Frasier ran out the door,
Niles following him, oddly attracting no attention as
they left.
***
Roz and Daphne rolled on the bed; their naked bodies
shoved together, their wet pussies touching. Roz ended
up on top, spreading out Daphne's hands as they kissed.
She moved down, kissing both of Daphne's pert breasts,
eliciting a moan from the British woman. She lay a
small kiss on the sunken belly before coming to
Daphne's dark clit. Roz immediately went to work,
placing her tongue inside and licking at Daphne's
pussy. She slid her hands underneath and squeezed
Daphne's cheeks as she went. She drove her head in
deeper between Daphne's legs, pushing her tongue deep
inside until Daphne came onto her tongue.
After licking away Daphne's juices, Roz crawled up the
other woman's body, sitting atop Daphne's face. After a
few hesitant kisses, Daphne placed her tongue inside
Roz's clit and started licking. She did it long and
slow, taking her time with it, which increased the
pleasure further. Roz moaned as Daphne's hand squeezed
her breasts, rocking herself gently on her friend's
face. She was in a combination of pain and pleasure as
she held herself back, enjoying the skillful touch of
Daphne's tongue inside her. Finally, she came, her
orgasm spilling onto Daphne's pretty face.
Frasier and Niles burst through the door just in time
to hear Roz gasp in pleasure. They quickly took in the
trail of clothes strewn around the floor, leading to
the bedroom. They stood there for a moment, at a loss
for words. "This could be some sort of sign," Frasier
said.
"In what way?"
"Well, Niles, two women we know are making love to each
other because of our sibling rivalry. I don't think you
have to be Freud to see the symbolism here."
"Don't bring Freud into this. Now what?"
"Well, let's do something." Frasier walked to the
bedroom door and opened it. Before Daphne or Roz could
react he said, "Flower Dower." Daphne shut her eyes and
sank down on the bed. Roz landed on top of her as Niles
said, "Picasso kablam." The two brothers stared at one
another. "That's a trigger phrase?" Frasier said.
"Well, at least mine doesn't sound like a schoolyard
chant," Niles stiffly replied. "I guess we'd better
tell them to forget this."
"I'll get Roz home, but there's something you should
know," Frasier said "Look, Niles, what we both did was
wrong, we have to face that. But something good's come
out of it."
"And what, pray tell, might that be?"
"Daphne told me she loves you."
Niles' usually passive features turned to a mix of
surprise and joy.
"Really?" he whispered.
Frasier nodded. "Yes. Roz, open your eyes and stand up.
Go to the living room and get dressed." Roz slowly rose
and walked past the two brothers, obliviously staring
forward. Frasier and Niles continued to stare at one
another. "I'll take her home. I'll let you decide what
to do." Frasier turned and walked to the outer room.
Niles appraised Daphne's naked form for some time,
mulling his options. He stood there long after Frasier
had taken the entranced Roz home. He thought about his
relationship with Maris and his infatuation with
Daphne. He thought of how his feelings for the latter
were much larger than the former. He finally made a
decision. He stripped off his coat, then his suit,
finally standing naked. He got onto the bed and touched
Daphne's sweet nude form. "Daphne," he whispered. "When
I snap my fingers, you'll wake up. You will not
remember what happened between you and Roz. That was a
dream. When you see me, your feelings about me will
come to the surface. You will not feel any fear or
hesitation. You will want to act upon your feelings at
once." Niles took a deep breath, then snapped his
fingers.
Daphne's eyes blinked open, then focused on Niles.
Niles was uncertain of what would happen. If Frasier
had been lying about Daphne, she'd be perfectly in the
right to punch him out. He needn't have worried. Once
she saw him, Daphne reached up and kissed him full on
the lips. He was motionless, stunned by his dream
suddenly coming true. Then, he returned her kiss,
embracing her and leaning down on her.
He lay kisses all over her, her throat and cheeks
first. Then he buried his head in between her breasts,
laying kisses all over them, squeezing them together.
She sighed as his rock-hard cock entered her pussy. It
had been a while, but Niles soon established a rhythm,
pushing himself in and out of Daphne, her moans driving
him on. His long-buried sexual fervor came to the
surface, pushing him on as he drove his member in and
out of Daphne. She clutched a handful of sheets as he
continued, ripping them off as they orgasmed together,
the culmination of years of wanting finally achieved.
Frasier came to the door of his apartment. He had left
Roz at home with no memories of her encounter with
Daphne. As far as she was concerned, she'd spent the
day working in her house. Frasier paused as he reached
the door and listened. He could hear sounds coming
behind it, moans that seemed to be coming from the
living room.
Smiling, Frasier pocketed his key and walked back down
the hall. Now was a good time to enjoy a latte. "Happy
Birthday, little brother," Frasier whispered as he
headed to the nearest coffee shop.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
It's okay to *READ* stories about unprotected sex with
others outside a monogamous relationship. But it isn't
okay to *HAVE* unprotected sex with people other than
a trusted partner. You only have one body per lifetime,
so take good care of it!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
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