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Alyssa's First Love - 1
by Alyssa B. (no address provided)

***

A 13-year old girl begins the journey to her first 
sexual experience. (M/f-teen, ped, 1st)

***

PART I

My name is Alyssa and my story starts not long ago 
before my mom and I moved into our new place. It's 
better than our old place. So I guess things turned out 
better than they were, but it's my fault they didn't 
turn out as good as my mom had hoped. I should be 
ashamed of that, but I'm not.

My mom met her ex-boyfriend on a dating site. He was the 
first guy I've ever been attracted to. I was 12 at the 
time and it was a few weeks before my thirteenth 
birthday. He took my mom to dinner and I guess I knew 
later that night when she came home that she was already 
in love with him. He wasn't like the other men my mom 
usually brought home or like my daddy who had died the 
year before. I guess he treated her better.

My mom's second date with this man was when I met him. 
He showed up to pick her up for their date a little 
early and I was there. I acted like a goof when I met 
him and I'm pretty sure he thought I was just an 
annoying kid at the time. But he didn't act like it. He 
was nice to me and he listened to me. Keeping the story 
short, there were more dates. But my mom wasn't the only 
one thinking about him. I was confused. 

He was older, too old for me but I felt this funny 
feeling around him. I'll go ahead and admit that I 
masturbated the first night he slept over with my mom. I 
could hear him thrusting into my mom, and I just lay in 
bed imagining that he was between my legs while I used 
the only thing I'd ever known at the time on myself - a 
toy wand that was small enough to fit without hurting.

He took us to dinner at a nice steakhouse for my 13th 
birthday. I remember accidentally rubbing my leg against 
his and feeling electricity shoot up my thigh. It was an 
accident. Really. It was. Things started to move faster 
after that dinner. Soon my mom and I moved in with him. 
Every night he fucked my mom, I heard them. I heard him 
telling her to do things, talking dirty to her. 

I heard them talk about how my mom likes to be choked 
during sex, and how he liked choking her. Each time I 
tried to imaging that he was doing these things to me... 
except for the choking. I never understood that.

One night I heard them talking about "toys" my mom had. 
I heard them talking about putting "the small one" in 
her butt while he fucked her. I didn't understand that 
either, but I was curious. My mom works a typical office 
job and doesn't make much money. But her now-ex-
boyfriend is a different story. 

He works in a professional field and makes three times 
what my mom makes--and he gets to work from home when he 
wants. I should have known this would be my undoing. It 
was summer and I was curious about my mom's toys. The 
bigger toy was off limits in my mind because it was too 
big to put anywhere in my body - and quite scary to be 
honest. But the little toy was a small vibrator about 
the size of a thumb tack that had a long cord and a 
handle I guess you are supposed to hold to control the 
on-off switch. I borrowed it.

I usually stayed home by myself during the summer, and I 
didn't think anyone would ever know about the toy or my 
curiosity. When my mom and her boyfriend left for work, 
I spent the morning doing various chores. Then I went 
into their room and borrowed the small vibrator toy. I 
was nervous. The idea of putting something in my butt 
seemed strange, but I had heard my mom's response to it 
and wanted to know if it really felt that good. I went 
to my room and pulled down my silver shorts... my 
favorite shorts. 

I lay in bed for a moment playing with the vibrator in 
my hand before finally taking my panties off and trying 
to insert the vibrator into my butt. I didn't know about 
lubrication, and I wish I had now. Getting it in was not 
the easiest or most enjoyable task I've ever completed, 
but pulling it out later was almost unbearable.

I was half naked with the cord of my mom's vibrator 
hanging out of my ass when I flipped the switch and 
turned it on. Oh, my, God. It felt like an animal was 
loose in side of me. It was intense. It felt good. Too 
good. It hurt in a way that I wanted to stop but at the 
same time wanted to maintain. I couldn't move and 
dropped the controller. 

A few minutes later I recovered enough of my mind to be 
able to lie there staring at the ceiling when the first 
orgasm hit me like a flood. I couldn't breathe. I 
couldn't move, except to rock my hips back and forth in 
some primal motion. I don't remember hearing anything 
around me or seeing anything other than the ceiling fan 
in my bedroom circle slowly.

"You having fun?" was the first thing I heard beyond my 
orgasm and it jolted me back to reality with a flood of 
shock, embarrassment and fear that my mom would find out 
I was doing something bad. I looked to where the voice 
had come from, expecting to see the man who owned the 
voice. He stood there with a smirk that I still find 
attractive today.

"Don't worry. If I had a body like yours, I'd be doing 
the same thing," he said. Then he turned around, said 
nothing more and walked out. I was mortified. I cleaned 
myself up and just hid in my room expecting him to tell 
my mom about how he caught me with her vibrator up my 
ass, laying half naked in bed. He didn't. I returned the 
vibrator to its place and spent that night listening to 
him having sex with my mom that night instead.

So far, so good right? He proposed to my mom and the two 
of them were engaged. But he and I started talking more 
and more. He treated me like an equal and taught me some 
really cool stuff. No. By cool stuff, I don't mean 
anything sexual. He taught me a lot of math and some of 
the things related to his job. But I did notice that he 
started looking at me a little differently after seeing 
me masturbating. I guess all guys are that way.

Our first kiss was in a park while walking my dog. We 
went for a walk one day and as it slowly got darker on 
the return leg of our walk, he told me "I really wish I 
were 20 years younger." I asked why and he explained, 
"Because I would have a chance at a girl like you. 
You're smart and fun." Was he just being a pedophile and 
saying what he knew would get into my pants? I'm not 
sure. I would like to think he meant it. Either way, ten 
feet further down the trail, he stopped and put his 
hands on my shoulders, turning me to face him.

He kissed me. Softly. His lips parted mine just barely 
and it was over. Our first kiss. My first kiss with 
anyone other than family and definitely my first kiss 
like THAT. He didn't tell me not to tell or anything 
like that. I chose not to tell because I know it would 
have gotten him in trouble. Instead we went home and I 
used the excuse that it had been hot outside to justify 
a quick shower. Yes, you know that 'shower' is another 
code word for masturbation.

I masturbate a lot. I'm ashamed of that sometimes. 

Things started changing a little between this man and I. 
In theory he would soon be my stepfather. In reality I 
was starting to feel more like his girlfriend. I didn't 
like that I was doing this behind my mother's back, but 
no man had ever made me feel like him. My mom would 
leave for work early and he would go to his job a bit 
afterward. It usually gave us ten or fifteen minutes 
alone. We just flirted. Sometimes we would playfully 
shove each other, and on a could occasions this turned 
into a quick wrestling match. 

He touched my breast once and quickly apologized. But 
after I said it was okay, he stopped apologizing when he 
would brush me as we wrestled. Then one day he was 
trying to grab a piece of paper I was trying to take 
from him. I tried to sit on the paper as he tried to 
grab it. It was the first time a man had ever touched my 
pussy, but I don't think he realized how significant it 
was.

I spent a lot of that summer playing with myself when 
everyone was at work, careful not to get caught again.

Things finally changed one night. I don't know why. He 
and my mom had finished having sex with each other. I 
had finished having sex with myself wishing I were my 
mom. The house was quiet and I was almost asleep, laying 
sideways on the bed in a t-shirt and my silver shorts. I 
saw a shadow standing in the door way and it was him. He 
was jerking off into what I later realized were a pair 
of my panties. 

I didn't say anything. I lay there motionless watching 
something I had never seen. When he was finished, he 
walked over to my dresser and put the panties into the 
drawer where they were kept as if leaving them for me to 
wear, covered with his semen.

It was the first time I had ever seen a man play with 
himself. It was the first time I had ever seen a man's 
penis (what little I could see in the dark with his fist 
rapidly pumping it). It was uncomfortable at first 
because this was my mother's boyfriend. But then I 
realized that he was also the man who had kissed me, the 
man who had already seen me naked and the man I had 
already been fantasizing of as my first.

I wore those panties the next day. Later he would tell 
me that he knew I had them on because he had seen their 
band when I had bent over to pick up something while 
doing my chores. 

My mom likes to drink. He doesn't drink much. It was a 
source of many arguments between them. One night my mom 
got drunk while dying her hair and afterward fell asleep 
naked in their bedroom. I saw her there, asleep, when he 
came out of the room to watch television and left the 
door open. I think he did it so I would see her, so I 
would see my drunk, naked mother laying in bed unable to 
satisfy a man she was to marry - unable to continue a 
conversation about their future because she wanted to 
drink. 

I had heard the argument before she had passed out. I 
knew he was not happy, and I knew he wanted what was 
best for me. I also knew that he was probably confused 
about the nature of our relationship. Looking back I 
think he wanted me both as a daughter and as a 
girlfriend, and the contradiction was making him crazy.

I closed the door to my mom's room and let her sleep. 
Instead I sat in the living room watching a movie with a 
man who I was starting to fear and hope wanted me more 
than my mom. That's a bad thing to say, and I am sorry I 
thought that way. But the other alternative was to be 
rejected as a little girl. It was too much for me. 

So I sat watching the movie with this man who didn't 
attempt to rape me. He didn't say or do anything other 
than ask if I wanted another soda when he went to grab 
one for himself in mid-movie. We didn't touch during the 
movie. We just watched the movie like to mature adults - 
though that was hardly my case.

After the movie, we went into our separate rooms to 
sleep. I heard him say something muffled to my mom as 
the bed creaked under his added weight. Then I heard her 
mumble something in reply. Silence. I felt bad for him. 
I always worried about my mom. Momma can get a little 
strange when she drinks. I guess it was a 'normal' part 
of my life. I accepted it and went to sleep.

I awoke sometime later, it was raining outside. I felt 
lips touch mine, softly. He was laying beside me. I lay 
there motionless, afraid to scare him off. This was our 
second kiss, and it felt magical. His hand was on my 
belly, and I could feel its warmth radiating through me. 
I didn't know exactly what to do.

He whispered in my ear, "I want you, Alyssa." Was he 
really saying this to me, expecting a response? Was he 
hoping I was asleep and I wouldn't hear? I didn't know 
what to do. Without thinking I kissed him back, but not 
a soft romantic kiss. I'm too goofy to do that. I kissed 
him like a little girl with a crush and immediately felt 
like I wanted to die for being so stupid. He replied by 
kissing me softly as he always had.

"Do you want to?" he said as I felt his hands pushing 
under the band of my shorts. 

"I'm a virgin," I replied--hating the sound of the 
words.

"I know. Do you want this to be your first time?"

"I don't know," I answered. 

He smiled, and kissed me softly. "Okay," he whispered, 
before climbing out of my bed and going back into his 
own. I felt a wave of regret, confusion and... well... 
love for him. He was sweet to me. He didn't rape me, he 
respected me.

Then I heard my mother exclaim "What the fuck?!" from 
beyond the walls of their room. She protested in a 
muffled voice and I could hear her crying softly, 
whimpering as the man who had just respectfully left my 
room, raped my mother in his own room. 

It lasted for at least an hour. After a few minutes she 
had clearly come to her senses and realized what was 
happening. Instead of questions about 'what' it became 
pleading for her fiancé to finish. I didn't hear 
everything, but I could piece together small parts of 
her muffled protest.

"Please not in my ass..."

"...I don't like it... no! ... No! ... NO!"

"...Oh, my god... hurry up."

"...Pull it out, it hurts. Please don't take too long."

"...You're hurting me!"

"Why are you doing this?"

"Please finish, it hurts!"

I must have fallen asleep while he was raping her. I 
don't remember exactly how it ended. I never heard him 
say anything. The next day she was clearly mad at him. 
He was disgusted with her. 

They got into an argument about her drinking, and before 
he left for work, he apologized for not having been a 
better leader around the house. I watched as he poured 
out a half bottle of vodka in front of me and swore that 
he would support my mother not being a "fucking drunk."
	
***

A few days went by much as others had. We flirted a bit 
here and there but nothing significant to write about. 
Then one day I was in my bathroom and I noticed a small 
boxy device above the door jamb. I looked at it and was 
curious to find out what it might be. I searched on 
Google and eventually figured out that it was a small 
spy camera. I knew its owner immediately. 

Even a 13 year old girl has deductive skills. 

I put it back in its place. From that point forward, I 
made sure I took baths instead of showers. I dried off, 
pretending to be a model. I wanted him to want me 
because I knew he thought I was pretty. Pretty was a new 
idea for me, especially when it came to boys. Here I was 
with a successful, grown man who thought I was pretty 
enough to risk his freedom to kiss me?! 

Hell yeah. I was definitely going to be a model for his 
camera. But beyond the usual flirtation, he did nothing.

Then one day he was working from home while I played a 
game on the computer he had bought me a few months 
before. As I lay on my belly on the bed, I heard him 
come into the room behind me and just stand there, 
waiting as I finished my round on the game.

"Hey," he began.

I rolled over onto my side on the bed and looked at him.

"Do you remember the other night when I came in here?" 
he asked.

I nodded.

"Do you want to stay a virgin?" he asked.

Caught off guard I hesitated before saying, "I don't 
know. I haven't thought about it."

"It's okay to stay a virgin," he replied. "There are 
other things we can do."

I was confused. "Wasn't sex the point?" I thought.

He sensed my confusion.

"Would you like to try some things?" he asked, walking 
over to the bed and sitting beside me. His hand started 
rubbing my leg.

"I guess."

"Close your laptop..."

To be continued...

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The author does not condone child abuse, this story is 
meant as an erotic fantasy not depicting anything in 
real life. Anyone acting out such scenarios in "real 
life" can look forward to many unproductive years 
getting it up the butt by a fellow convict in their 
local prison system.
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Kristen's collection - Directory 83