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K R I S T E N' S C O L L E C T I O N
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Confessions
by Henrik Larsen (henlar@hotmail.com)
***
A boy brought up by young female au pairs all his life.
His parents are busy with their careers. The boy has
little contact with other kids, he's a bit of a sissy
really, slightly nerdy and shy in the company of other
children. But one day he begins to come of age with his
pretty cousin. (mf-teens, underage, inc, 1st, oral,
anal, rom)
***
Author's Note: This and most of my stories would have
been a mess of spelling errors and grammatical rubbish,
had it not been for Old Rotorhead, Cagey and Marie. I'm
very thankful for their patient work and encouragement.
If you liked the story, then feel free to tell me so. If
you thought it could have been better, please let me
know as well. My E-mail is henlar@hotmail.com. Comments
are very much appreciated.
-= 1 =-
Religion didn't play an important role in my home. My
parents weren't religious and even if they had been,
they never had the time to tell me about it. Still, it
became a very important part of the most exciting time
of my youth.
I wasn't conceived by mistake; a married couple were
supposed to have kids and my parents were awfully
conventional. They were also very, very ambitious and by
the time I was born, they must have figured out that
they didn't really have the time needed to bring up a
kid, if they were going to look after their careers.
So, they hired a young girl to look after me. She was
replaced by another young girl and so on. From about the
age of four, I can begin to remember the girls. I
remember them better than I remember my parents from
back then. There was many a day when I didn't see my
parents at all. They went to work before I got up and
didn't come home until after I was put to bed.
My parents really loved me and cared about me. I'm sure
they did, in their own way. But career and material
wealth were what mattered. The only kind of parental
guidance I got from them was about correct behaviour in
the presence of adults and that knowledge was important.
Naturally, I was spoiled rotten. I got more or less
everything I asked for. Actually, I didn't need to ask
for anything, I just got it.
The only thing I didn't get was a playmate. We lived in
a very fancy neighbourhood and I was practically the
only kid for miles around. The rest of the houses were
occupied by wealthy, middle-aged couples with grown-up
children or no children at all.
I think you pretty much get the picture now. A boy
brought up by young girls, with no contact with other
kids. A sissy little boy, slightly nerdy and shy in the
company of other children.
This was the situation until I was six. Then I learned
that I was going to start attending school. I was
terrified, to say the least. The mere thought of school
scared me to death. Having to leave my safe, protected
environment and go to a place, filled with strange
children, seemed to me to be the ultimate nightmare.
Mom and dad sensed my fear and one evening, they said
they had something to talk to me about.
'You know, Dan, you have a cousin, Annie. I don't think
you remember her, I hardly do myself,' my mom began.
'I remember uncle Paul,' I said, enthusiastically. He
was my father's brother and he had visited us a couple
of times over the past two years.
'Yes, uncle Paul and aunt Emma. They have a daughter,
Annie. She's the same age as you and is going to begin
school this fall, too. Uncle Paul wants her to go to the
same school as you, so she's going to come and stay with
us,' mom said.
'Here? In our house?' I asked, startled. 'What about
uncle Paul?'
'He and aunt Emma have to stay in China. Uncle Paul's
job requires him to stay there and aunt Emma prefers to
stay with him.'
I must have looked a little disappointed. I loved uncle
Paul. He had been stationed in China for as long as I
could remember and when he came to visit, he always
played with me and he had given me some fantastic things
from China.
'Uncle Paul will follow her over here from China. It's a
long trip, too long for a child to take on her own,' mom
added.
'When will they be here?' I asked, excited.
'In three days. We'll pick them up in the airport,' dad
replied.
***
The next three days passed slowly. I didn't like the
thought that Annie was going to come and live with us.
But I really wanted to see Uncle Paul. Finally it was
Saturday evening and we were waiting in the airport. My
eyes were glued to the doors where the arriving
passengers came out.
And then suddenly, they were there. There was a lot of
confusion. Everybody saying hello and embracing and I
was kind of left out, until a little girl poked me in
the side.
'You must be Dan,' she said. 'I'm Annie. I'm going to
live with you.'
I stared at her at the red-haired, freckled girl. I
don't know what I had expected. A Chinese girl perhaps.
'Eh, hi,' was all I could say.
'Dad says you're a nice boy. He said we were going to
give you a present, when we arrived.'
Annie handed me a little parcel. I looked at it.
'Aren't you going to see what it is?' Annie asked,
impatiently.
'Maybe I should wait until uncle Paul and my mom and dad
can see it too.'
Annie shook her head.
'They're too busy talking.' Annie said, matter-of-
factly.
I wasn't sure it was the correct thing to do, but Annie
somehow sounded very convincing, so I began unwrapping
the gift. Inside was a cardboard box with Chinese
letters on it. Excited, I opened the box and very
cautiously took out the contents. It was a radio; a
tiny, tiny radio. I had never seen anything like it
before. I was used to big radios. The smallest radio I
had seen up to then was a transistor radio, the size of
a shoebox. This was more like the size of two
matchboxes. I was thrilled beyond my wildest
expectations.
'It's a radio. My dad says it's the kind of radio they
are going to use, when they send a man to the moon,'
Annie said.
'Wow.'
'I got one too,' Annie said.
'Can we talk with them too?' I asked.
'No, you can only listen.'
I tried to turn it on.
'You have to put the batteries in,' Annie said.
I looked in the box again and there were two batteries
and a little earplug. Soon, the batteries were in and
the radio turned on. It took a little while to get
anything but static, but suddenly, loud music sounded
from the tiny speaker.
Suddenly, the grownups all looked at Annie and me.
'What on earth is that?' mom exclaimed and then added:
'Turn it down for God's sake.'
'It's a radio, mom. When they send a man to the moon,
Annie and I can hear him,' I said excitedly.
'Well, let's see if they can get a man up there first,
shall we?' my dad said, smiling.
That was '66, I was seven years old and I was in heaven.
Annie showed me how to use the earplug and we sat
together on the back seat of the car listening to our
radios all the way home. All my fears about Annie coming
to live with us were gone. I'd found a friend.
When we got home the grownups went to the living room
and I showed Annie around the house. I ended the tour in
her room.
'This is your room. Do you like it?'
Annie looked around the room.
'It looks nice. What's behind that door?' Annie asked
and pointed.
'My room. You have to go through my room, if you're
going to the bathroom.'
'Hmm, then we can open the door and talk, when we've
gone to bed,' she said, sounding excited.
'Yeah, I guess so,' I replied, not really getting the
idea.
'I mean, it's like... we're not alone,' Annie explained.
We sat down on Annie's bed.
'Why isn't your mother with you?' I asked.
'She's ill. She needs a lot of medicine and she hides it
from dad, because she doesn't want him to know how ill
she is. It's our secret, mom and me. You mustn't tell
dad. He gets so worried for mom,' Annie answered,
seriously.
'That's sad. Do you think you will miss them a lot?'
'I don't know. I don't see dad much. He travels a lot.
And mom sleeps until late. The medicine makes her
sleepy. I play a lot with the other kids or play with
Yin.'
'What's a Yin?' I asked, ignorant as I was about Chinese
names.
'It's not an "it" she's the woman who takes care of me,'
Annie answered and giggled.
'Oh. Mine is called Susan, and the one before her was
Andrea. Have you only had one Yin?' I replied.
'Yes. She's my best friend. I'll miss her,' Annie said,
a little sad. 'But I can go home every summer and visit
her.'
We talked a little longer, but it was late and somehow,
we just fell asleep on Annie's bed. Late, mom and dad
and uncle Paul woke us and I was put into my own bed.
Annie was right about the door. It was nice to talk,
after we had been put to bed. Soon we had arranged our
beds on each side of the wall, so we could talk quietly;
we couldn't see each other, but we were only inches
apart.
Annie and I got along well. We looked much alike but
inside, we were very different. Annie was outgoing and
daring. She would go to the line every time and often
cross it. But she always got away with it, no matter
what she did. She had this fantastic ability to look so
innocent and, if needed, remorseful. I was usually
reluctant to follow her lead. Still, I guess I gradually
became a little more daring too.
From the time Annie came to stay with us, and until we
were around ten, the young girls that looked after us
were replaced at an ever-increasing rate. It took that
long for my parents to realise what the problem was. But
when one of them left after 3 days, we were in trouble.
Before she left, she told my parents loudly and clearly,
in a voice loud enough for us to hear it (while we
eavesdropped outside my dad's study) that we were two
little monsters. Even Annie's innocent look couldn't
help us that time.
Mom and dad had a serious word with us; very serious!
They didn't threaten to send Annie home, but it was
close. By then, Annie and I were inseparable. The
duration of Annie's summer visits to China had gone down
from five to two weeks. Separation would have been a
catastrophe for both of us. We had to promise that we
would behave nicely towards the next young girl and in
school as well.
School was primarily Annie's problem. We both did well
in school, but Annie often got comments from the
teachers on her report card, because she was a little
too mischievous.
Mom decided that it would be a good idea to employ a
young girl from a foreign country. She wanted an English
girl to help us improve our English, but for some reason
she couldn't find one from Britain. Instead, she hired a
French girl.
This girl's name was Simone and she was an exchange
student, studying English. We had just started learning
English in school and Simone didn't speak one word of
Danish, so we all had to try our best. That way, it did
work out as my parents had intended. We were all forced
to speak English and we had to learn it fast.
One thing helped us learn English more than anything
else: Simone was Catholic and apparently, she believed
in the stuff. Mom thought it would widen our horizon to
know a little bit more about Catholicism, so we had to
follow Simone to church every now and then. Going to
Mass was the worst. It lasted forever and since the
church was full of people, we had to sit quietly and
listen.
We also went along, when Simone was going to confession.
Annie was restless and began wandering quietly around
the church. Suddenly, she gestured to make me come over
to her. I went over to where she was, next to the
confessional.
'Listen,' Annie whispered.
I could hear Simone's voice very clearly. Father Peter
apparently didn't understand French so Simone spoke
English, fairly loud and clear enough for us to hear.
'...and I then I touched myself,' we heard her say.
Father Peter mumbled something we couldn't hear. 'Uh, I
touched myself... very... intimate place,' Simone
relied. More mumbling and Simone answered again. 'Only
outside my clothes.'
At this point, it sounded as if one of them got up and
it scared us. We rushed back to the bench and sat
quietly with beating hearts and blushing cheeks. Nothing
happened for a couple of minutes. Then, just as Annie
was about to get up and sneak over there again, Simone
came out of the confessional and headed towards us.
We didn't really have a clue what she was telling Father
Peter about, but the thrill of listening made the
confession much more exciting than Mass. Over the next
month, we heard a lot about "inappropriate thoughts" and
how Simone "touched" herself and how she touched her
"Perle".
The whole thing intrigued us so much that, in the
evening, when we lay in our beds, we sometimes played
"confession".
'Forgive me Father, for I have sinned,' Annie would say
and I would reply something like: 'Tell me and Jesus
will give you absolution.' Then Annie would "confess"
something, usually repeating what she had heard Simone
say in confession and I would ask her to tell more.
We didn't really know what Father Peter said. He always
mumbled. We caught a few words here and there and
guessed at some, but the rest I made up.
We only heard Father Peter speak out loud once. It was
three months later. By this time, Simone had a boyfriend
and she no longer talked about touching herself. Now it
was her boyfriend, touching her and doing things to her
with his "thing". It seemed as if this "thing" was in
her hands and in her mouth all the time.
One Sunday, Simone was confessing this week's escapades
with her boyfriend, unaware of the extra ears, listening
to her confession. 'he was so persistent and then I gave
in. But I was afraid that it would have consequences, so
I let him use the other entrance,' Simone said.
The father mumbled.
'How do you say it... mon derri re... sodomize,' Simone
said.
And that was when we heard Father Peter.
'MY CHILD! That is a very serious sin. Don't ever let
him do that again.
It must have hurt terribly!' Father Peter yelped,
appalled.
'Oui, tout d'abord... in the beginning, but then it felt
bon. Tres bon.' Whenever Simone was angry or excited
about something, she put in a lot of French words, when
she spoke.
Father Peter lowered his voice again and Simone told him
a little more about "sodomize" or whatever the terrible
sin was called.
Simone was a very cheerful girl and we grew very fond of
her. I think she liked us too and she showed it. She
would always hug us and kiss us on the cheek, which we
weren't accustomed to. But we got used to it. Actually,
I ended up liking her hugging and kissing on the cheek.
It felt good.
Simone took her job seriously. She was there for us.
After school, she had often baked a cake or something
similar and she was always ready to play cards or board
games.
Simone always smiled and I guess we knew something was
seriously wrong, when we got home that day. Simone had
been crying, her eyes were all red and swollen. She was
pale and there was no sign of a smile. Of course, we
immediately tried to find out what was wrong, but she
wouldn't say.
Later that day, we listened by the door, while she was
talking to mom and dad. Simone talked very quietly and
cried all the time. We could hear mom trying to comfort
her, but we couldn't hear what it was all about.
***
The next day, mom was home when we got back from school.
She told us that Simone was ill; it wasn't anything
serious but she would have to be in the hospital for a
few days.
The day Simone returned from the hospital, she still
looked very sad. Not at all like the Simone we knew. We
tried to cheer her up, but in vain and she didn't want
to tell us what was the matter with her and why she had
to go to the hospital. Finally, she told us that she was
going home to France again. We were genuinely sad about
that and Simone was too. We all cried.
Simone had been special and not just because of the
confessions. Maybe it was because we had been told to
treat her nice. We'd had a chance to get to know her,
but I still think it was more than that.
Simone left and her absence left a vacuum. The girl who
took over was nothing special. We still treated her
nice, but she wasn't Simone. We didn't spend much time
with her, as we had done with Simone. When she quit, my
parents decided that we were old enough to look after
ourselves.
Time passed and we grew older. Annie went home twice a
year to visit her parents; at Christmas and for three
weeks in the summer. It was lonely without her. We still
didn't see any other children except in school and at
gymnastic training. They all lived too far away and
besides, Annie and I had each other and didn't need any
other kids to play with.
***
The summer we turned fourteen, Annie left to visit her
parents as usual. She was supposed to be gone for three
weeks, but 5 days after she had gone, mom suddenly told
me she was coming home the next day. I was both happy
and a little worried. Mom hadn't said anything about why
she was coming home so quickly.
Annie was very quiet, when we picked her up in the
airport, but I assumed it was the long flight. It was
late, when we got home and we went more or less straight
to bed. We talked a little about nothing. Annie mostly
answered my questions about the visit with monosyllabic
words.
Suddenly, she didn't answer. At first I thought she had
fallen asleep, but then I could her she was crying
quietly.
'Annie, are you ok?' I whispered.
There was a loud sob from the other side of the wall. I
got out of bed and went into her room and sat down on
the side of her bed.
'What happened? What's wrong?'
Annie tried to speak, but it only made her cry harder.
She was shivering like she was cold. I had never seen
her like that before. I put my arms around her and
hugged her for several minutes, until she had calmed
down sufficiently to speak again.
'Why... why didn't they tell me?' Annie finally managed
to whisper.
'Tell you what?'
'Mom... is an alcoholic. The medicine... all the things
she... never could do... because she was ill... it was
all lies,' Annie said and began crying hard again.
I didn't understand the full implication of what Annie
told me, but I understood enough to figure out why she
was so sad.
'They just sent me away,' Annie sobbed. 'T-they... lied
to me.'
I didn't know what to say. My stomach was one big knot.
I just held her and let her cry until she fell asleep.
Annie felt better in the morning. Mom and dad acted as
if nothing had happened. Maybe they didn't know. After
breakfast, Annie told me what had happened.
'I found my mom drinking vodka from the bottle. At 10 in
the morning. Suddenly, it was all so obvious. We had a
row. First she tried to convince me that she wasn't
drinking. She "had just mixed some medicine in the
bottle". Then she blamed me, because I had moved away.'
I interrupted her. 'But you were only 6. They sent you
over here to go to school.
'That's what I told her. Then she blamed me, because I
had been a difficult child when I was there. I asked her
how she knew; she was never there. Then she started to
cry and was very remorseful, telling me that she would
quit right away. We both cried a lot and I forgave her.'
'Why did you come home then?' I asked, stupidly.
'She didn't really keep the promise. In the afternoon,
she was drunk as a skunk and we had another row. Mom
went to bed. Then dad came home. I told him what I had
discovered and he started talking about "protecting me"
and "keeping it a secret". He didn't understand. He
didn't understand how I felt. I was so... I felt so let
down. All these years, I had worried about mom. I had
kept her secret from dad, because I really thought she
was ill and that it would make dad sad if he knew how
ill she was. And it was lies. It was all lies!'
Annie had to inhale deeply a couple of times. But she
didn't cry. It was a different Annie this morning.
Older, more mature. She didn't sound like a little girl
any more.
'I decided that I didn't want to stay there anymore. It
wasn't my home. I wanted to come back here.'
She looked me straight in the eyes.
'You are my closest friend,' she said, very seriously.
'Promise me that you'll never lie to me.'
'I promise,' I said with a lump in my throat.
'I'm your sister now. I'm never going back.' Annie said.
***
It took a while before Annie got back her normal good
mood. Mom and dad acted as if nothing had happened. I
didn't know if they knew or not, but I guess they did. I
myself didn't know what to say or do. I found it a
little awkward just to ignore it, like mom and dad did,
but I couldn't really say anything to make it better. I
tried to forget about it and gradually, I succeeded.
Annie didn't go home for Christmas. I certainly didn't
mind. I loved Christmas; the mood, all the lights and
the presents. Spending Christmas with Annie there only
made it better.
Other things soon began to occupy my mind. The older
boys on my gymnastics team had been talking about girls
and sex for a long time. I listened but wasn't really
interested. But gradually, I began to find it more and
more interesting. I began to look at girls differently.
I also noticed that I was getting hair in places I
hadn't had hair before.
I knew, from the very rudimentary course on human
biology in school, that I had entered puberty. I knew
the physical signs, nothing else, but I suddenly felt
that the things the older boys were talking about were
very exciting. Looking at girls and dreaming about them
was even more exciting.
My knowledge about sex was mainly based on the locker
room discussions. The older boys used words that I
didn't know at first. I learned, though. The meaning of
words like pussy and wiener. I could translate the words
"von hinten" from German, but it took a little while
before I found out what they were talking about, when
they said "giving it to her von hinten" - apart from
"from behind".
I didn't really gain any specific knowledge from
listening to the older boys, but enough to figure out
what Simone's confession was about. And that the thing
that had shocked Father Peter so much, was pretty much
the same as "von hinten".
I also figured out that Simone must have followed Father
Peter's advice and stopped doing it that way. Instead,
she had let her boyfriend enter her in a way accepted by
the Catholic Church and she had gotten pregnant.
My first real sexual revelation came shortly after my
fifteenth birthday, in January. I was in the shower,
washing myself and dreaming about one of the girls in my
class. I must have washed my dick while I was dreaming.
Suddenly I got a funny feeling in my groin and when I
looked down, my dick spewed out some milky fluid. I was
scared at first, but then I realised that it was what
was described as ejaculation in my lesson on human
biology; or what the older boys described as "coming".
It became a frequent activity when I showered, since it
was the only place I had a enough privacy. The door
between Annie's and my room was never closed and I found
it difficult to find a good explanation as to why I
suddenly would want it closed. Besides I was so used to
it that I really didn't want the door to be closed.
We always talked, when we went to bed and it was usually
the best time of the day. We could discuss almost
anything. I say almost, because I hadn't discussed my
new discovery with Annie. Somehow, I didn't think she
would be the least interested; maybe even disgusted.
Masturbating was the only active form of sex I
practised. We didn't have parties in school or any other
events where I had a chance to socialise with girls.
Going to the local disco wasn't an option at all. I
would never have gotten my parent's permission and even
if I did, I wouldn't dare to go alone. I was still a bit
nerdy and slightly introverted.
Life went on. The summer marked the beginning of our
last year in elementary school. Annie and I were already
destined to continue our education at a famous gymnasium
and that was pretty much the same for the rest of our
classmates. That meant the schoolwork and the coming
exam was pretty important.
I guess in every class there's always somebody who tries
to get around things the easy way. Our class was no
exception. His name was Mark and his father was a well-
known and wealthy businessman. The only thing Mark was
really good at was soccer. Apart from that, he was a
selfish, self-satisfied, bragging nuisance. He acted as
if he was God's gift to the world and somehow, he always
got away with it.
Mark rarely bothered to do his homework. Instead, he
would "borrow" the assignments from one of the girl's
desk and copy the answers. He always returned the papers
he "borrowed" but I couldn't figure out why the girls
let him do it and most of them did. Some of the girls
had learned never to leave their homework lying on their
desks, but other girls still did it.
One day, when we were assigned to write an English essay
for the next day, Annie had put her essay on the desk in
plain view. We had often discussed Mark's habits and
Annie never let him copy her homework, so I was very
puzzled. Mark didn't waste any time and took the essay
and copied it between classes. Even more surprisingly,
Annie hardly complained when he took it.
'Why did you let him copy your essay?' I questioned
Annie in the bus on the way home. 'You'll have to write
another. You can't both hand in the same essay.'
'I've already written another. Here, read this, this is
the one Mark copied,' she answered with a broad grin,
handing me the paper. 'Read the second paragraph.'
I read the paragraph Annie pointed to.
---
'I'm going to blow you,' she whispered and put it into
her mouth. He was stiff and moaned incomprehensibly.
'Suck it!' he hissed.
'How does it feel? Can you feel it raising inside you?
Are you happy now,' she asked.
He stuck it deeper into her mouth and she pulled hard on
it. His head exploded and it splattered out over her
face and chest.
---
I looked at Annie, shocked and blushing. It shocked me
that Annie could write something like that and that she
actually knew the meaning of it.
'Are you crazy? You can't write something like this in
an English essay. Old Miss Rabinowich is going to kill
you, if she doesn't have a massive coronary first," I
said.
'I never had any intention of showing this to Miss
Rabinowich,' Annie said, still grinning.
She took the paper, folded it up and put it in her
pocket.
'This is the one I will give her, if Mark admits copying
my essay,' she said, taking out another paper and
handing it to me. 'Read the second paragraph in this
one.'
I did and it was completely different, yet almost the
same words:
'I'm going to blow your head off,' she whispered between
her teeth and put it into his mouth. He was stiff from
fear and moaned incomprehensibly.
'Suck it!' she hissed at him. 'How does it feel? Can you
feel the fear rising inside you? Are you happy now?' she
asked.
She stuck it deeper into his mouth and pulled the
trigger hard. His head exploded and blood splattered out
over her face and chest.
I suddenly realised that Annie had planned it and wanted
Mark to take the essay.
'Annie, Mark is going to be in a lot of trouble,' I said
and looked seriously at her.
'Serves him right. He's had it coming for a long time,'
she said and added, 'I only wish I could see Miss
Rabinowich's face when she reads his essay.'
I couldn't help laughing, trying to imagine Miss
Rabinowich's reaction. And Mark did deserve it. He had
sponged off others' work for far too long. We got off
the bus, laughing ourselves to tears. Annie took the
folded up paper and put it in the garbage can.
'Promise not to tell anybody?' she said.
'Of course I won't.'
'Don't you think Mark noticed?' I asked, suddenly
realising that this could backfire.
'Don't worry. He's too dumb to notice. His English is
too lousy for him to understand what he is copying.
We had to wait two days to see the result of Annie's
practical joke. We were going to have Miss Rabinowich in
the first lecture that day, but she didn't show up.
Looking out the window, we saw Mark's father walking
from the parking lot, followed by Mark, who looked like
he was being taken to the gallows. Annie and I exchanged
knowing glances.
A couple of minutes later the headmaster, Miss
Rabinowich, Mark's father and Mark walked into the
classroom.
'Miss Hansen,' the Headmaster said, very strictly.
Annie went up to him and he showed her Mark's essay.
'This young man claims that you wrote this for him. Is
that true?'
'No. He stole my essay and I had to write another.'
Annie answered and began reading the essay.
She put her hand over her mouth, looking genuinely
shocked and handed the paper to the Headmaster.
'I certainly never wrote that,' she said, blushing
fiercely.
'I'm sorry, Miss Hansen. I know this is not something to
show a young girl,' the headmaster turned to Mark.
'But she did write it!' Mark protested.
'And you took it and copied it?' the headmaster asked,
inquisitorially.
'Yes... you saw it, Sofie,' he said and looked pleading
at Sofie. She was one of the girls that usually let him
copy her homework.
'It's true. He took Annie's story and copied it,' Sofie
answered.
Just as Annie had planned, the Headmaster turned to her
again.
'Do you have the original paper?'
'Yes,' Annie said and went down to her bag. She took out
the decent version of the essay Mark had copied and went
back to the group of angry adults.
The headmaster read through the essay and handed it to
Miss Rabinowich. She scanned it as well and smiled with
satisfaction.
'This is the kind of work Annie always delivers. I knew
she would never write that filth,' she said and looked
at Mark's essay with disgust.
'Not only do you steal your classmate's essay, you are
too dumb to even copy it correctly,' the headmaster
said, sarcastically and turned to Mark's father, who
looked like he was about to have a fit.
'I'm not sure your son is the kind of pupil we want in
this school. We have a reputation...'
Mark's father interrupted the Headmaster. 'I can only
agree and I assure you that it will never happen again.
I'm sure we can work out something,' he said and tried
to guide the headmaster out of the classroom, with Mark
in a tow.
Miss Rabinowich was somewhat upset but not shaken and
proceeded with her class, almost as if nothing had
happened. Mark didn't reappear until after Miss
Rabinowich had left the class. As he passed Annie on his
way down to his table, he hissed, 'I'm going to get you
for this.'
'What?' Annie said and looked very innocent.
A couple of the other boys came to Annie's rescue.
'You can't blame Annie for your own stupidity, Mark.
It's not her fault that you can't copy correctly.'
'You had this one coming... moron.'
Mark mumbled something and slunk off to his own table.
The defeat was total.
***
The incident with Mark meant two things to me. First, I
suddenly realised that Annie had grown up too and maybe
she wasn't as innocent and ignorant as I had led myself
to believe.
Secondly, she began to appear in my fantasies, when I
masturbated. This worried me. It was wrong to think of
her that way. I mean, she was almost my sister and you
shouldn't think of your sister that way. I tried hard, I
really did, but whenever I fantasised about girls, her
face would suddenly appear in my mind.
I thought about Simone again and her confessions. She
seemed so happy and relieved, when she came out after
confession. Maybe that was the way to get rid of the
guilt I felt, when Annie appeared in my fantasies. I
never got beyond thinking about it. I honestly didn't
know how to become a Catholic. I wasn't sure I believed
in God at all. Could I become a Catholic, if I didn't
believe in God? Would I have to go to church all the
time or could I just go to confession, when I needed it?
It was too complicated and I gave up the idea.
I felt terribly guilty, but Annie took over more and
more in my fantasies. No matter how hard I tried, her
face and body still occupied my mind. And I was suddenly
beginning to notice her body.
Annie always walked through my room to the bathroom.
When we were younger, she often walked naked through my
room, when she was going to shower. She'd stopped doing
that a couple of years ago. She began to wear a
bathrobe. But lately it had changed again. She often
just wore a towel, wrapped around her torso and it
barely covered her behind, since it was also covering
her chest.
I tried not to, but I couldn't help staring at her and
trying and get a glimpse of her lovely shaped behind or
the swellings on her chest. She would often stop to talk
to me and it was awfully difficult not to stare, when
she was standing in front of me, barely covered by a
towel.
Maybe it was my imagination, but it seemed as if Annie
spent more and more time talking to me, after her
showers. She was driving me insane and fuelling my
fantasies and my guilt.
I was both relieved and disappointed, when she began to
wear her bathrobe; not every time, but more often than
not. However, I soon realised that it would only add to
my torment. When she stood or sat and talked to me after
her shower, the robe slowly opened. A couple of times, I
got a sneak peek at her breasts and once I could almost
see all the way up to her crotch.
I fought a losing battle, trying not to look at her,
whenever I got the chance. Something inside me, over
which I had no control, urged me to look, but
afterwards, I was plagued with guilt. Not knowing what
to do, the situation remained the same and for the time
being, I learned to live with the constant guilt.
As autumn turned into winter, it became colder and
darker and I spent more time in my room. I was
practically always in my room, when Annie came from her
shower. I gradually became used to her casual dressing-
habits and the guilt wore off a little bit. I could
almost talk with her without constantly trying to get a
glimpse of her feminine attributes. And I did get a
glimpse fairly often. She was very careless when tying
the belt that held the robe together.
One day, just before Christmas, Annie was particularly
talkative. She talked and talked, moving around in front
of me and making a lot of gestures as she talked. She
was wearing a towel that day. I can't recall what she
was telling me, but her arms flew around her body and
she had to tighten the towel several times. It didn't
help though. The towel loosened again and before she
could tighten it, the towel fell to the floor. Annie was
suddenly standing in front of me, completely nude.
'Ooops,' Annie giggled shyly, but she didn't try to
cover herself.
I just sat there, looking like a cod on dry land,
gasping and staring at her. Then she said something that
took whatever breath I had left, away.
'Do you like what you see?'
I was flabbergasted.
'I... yes,' I finally managed to stutter.
I felt very embarrassed, but my body's reaction opposed
that of my mind. Nothing happened for an eternity.
Suddenly Annie picked up the towel, leaning towards me
and getting so close I could feel the heat radiating
from her nude body. Then she rushed into her room.
It was the first time I had ever seen a girl nude. I had
imagined what they looked like, using the images I had
seen in paintings or dark, shaded images from movies,
but I had never seen a girl fully undressed. The girls
often trained in the same hall as the boys, when we
practised gymnastics and I had looked a lot at the girls
in their leotards. Now, I suddenly knew what a girl
really looked like.
The image of Annie in the nude was burned into my brain.
I couldn't stop thinking about it. I had to go shower
very quickly to get relief. It was still hard to
concentrate on my homework after the shower.
Annie began to consult me, when she was getting dressed,
asking if she looked OK, if her arse looked big and
stuff like that. She would come into my room and do a
little catwalk and then ask me about her clothes and how
she looked. It was rather innocent and yet I found it
slightly disturbing. My mind always began undressing
her, when she turned and showed herself off to me like
that.
Just after Christmas, she bought a new swimming suit.
She hadn't paid much for it, because it was on sale.
Just before we went to bed, she wanted to try it on and
show it to me. I was used to seeing her in leotards, but
this was a two piece bikini and it showed more than it
covered.
'What do you think? Do I look sexy?' she asked, swirling
and jumping around, making her breasts bounce. It looked
as if her breasts were going to burst the flimsy
material.
I tried to keep my composure and answer calmly.
'You look very good. But it is very... revealing,' I
answered.
'Do you mind?' Annie promptly replied, teasingly.
'Don't be silly,' I said, blushing.
'Come on. You've promised never to lie to me, remember?'
Yes, I remembered.
'I don't mind, okay?' I said, feeling the blood rush to
my face.
Annie looked down her legs. 'God, I need to shave my
legs,' she said and in an instant she was gone.
Ten minutes later, she reappeared from the bathroom.
'That's better, don't you think, she said.
I was sitting on my bed and she put her left foot on my
thigh, showing me her freshly shaved leg up close. Her
crotch was right in front of my face and it distracted
me.
'Eh, yes,' I said, not able to tear my eyes away from
her pink slit.
'Feel,' she offered, leaning towards me and taking my
hand, leading it to her leg.
Her skin was so smooth. She pulled my hand up to her
thigh. The skin on her inner thigh was unbelievable
smooth. Annie innocently guided my hand closer to her
crotch, oblivious to the effect it had on me. I was so
aroused. I didn't know what I was doing. My hand just
continued on the course Annie had set.
In a trance, I let my hand brush over her slit, feeling
the heat almost burning my fingertip. Annie gasped and
froze.
That woke me up.
'I'm sorry. I shouldn't...' I said, feeling awful.
'It's ok,' Annie said and added with a shy giggle, 'It
felt nice, really.'
'It was wrong. I'm sorry.'
I had already changed into pyjamas and suddenly I became
very aware of my own predicament. It made me feel worse
about it all. If Annie looked down, it would be
impossible to hide. I tried to put my hands in my lap to
cover myself, but I wasn't sure if it did the trick and
I didn't dare to look down. I didn't dare to look up at
Annie either, so I just stared at her tummy.
Finally, Annie took her leg down.
'I'd better get to bed too,' she said casually and
strolled out of my room.
Relieved, I rushed out to the bathroom and brushed my
teeth. I had hoped to be able to get back under my duvet
before Annie had finished changing into her pyjamas, but
I didn't make it. She was waiting outside the bathroom,
when I got out and I could feel her eyes on my crotch.
My dick had almost gone back to normal size, but her
stare immediately woke it again.
I rushed past her to the safety of my bed. My sleep that
night was disturbed by numerous dreams about Annie. I
felt utterly bad about the whole thing and promised
myself not to get carried away again. I promised myself
that it was all over, but little did I know that it had
just started.
-= 2 =-
Nothing happened the next couple of days. I mean,
nothing extraordinary. Annie came in to talk after her
shower, but nothing more. Not until the third day.
We had gone to bed and were talking as usual. Somehow,
we began to talk about Simone. How nice she had been to
us and how much fun we'd had. Annie mentioned the
confessions and how we had played "confession".
'Forgive me Father, for I have sinned?' Annie said,
playfully.
'Confess your sins my child and thou shalt be forgiven,'
I replied, equally playfully, with no intention of
playing the game again.
'I have had naughty thoughts,' Annie said, just as
Simone did it.
I suddenly didn't know what to say, but Annie didn't
wait for me to answer.
'I dream about a man touching me. I dream about him
touching me in places only a husband should touch,' she
said.
Her voice sounded different, her breathing faster. I
felt myself tense and a part of me badly wanted her to
go on, another to stop. The part that wanted her to go
on won.
'How does he touch you, my child,' I asked, just as I
did back then. But the words suddenly meant something.
It wasn't just words we had heard any longer, and didn't
know the meaning of.
'I am naked and he puts his hands on my stomach. Slowly
he moves them up to my tits,' Annie answered. 'His
fingers brush over my nipples and it feels so good. My
nipples become hard from his touch. I want him to pinch
them, to play with them.'
I heard myself say, 'That is very sinful.'
'But there is more, Father. When I get these thoughts, I
have to touch myself. I pinch my nipples, imagining that
it is him and that makes me feel so hot. My hands are
drawn towards my crotch. I can't help it, Father.'
Annie was breathing very heavily now. I think I was too.
I was in the same kind of trance I had been in, three
days earlier, when I had accidentally touched her
crotch.
'It is the devil, my child. He makes you do it.' I heard
myself say.
Even though it was a ritual, a repeat of words we had
once heard, it was extremely arousing. I knew what Annie
was going to say next and yet I was trembling with
excitement and anticipation.
'I know it's the devil, Father, but I can't resist. My
fingers part my lips and I have to touch myself in that
special place. It feels so good, Father. I imagine that
it is him, touching me. I become so hot Father, and I
can't help myself. I have to go on and touch myself
until I get relief.'
'How much do you have to touch yourself to get relief,
my child?' I hissed, short of breath.
'I pinch my ...nipples and rub my little pearl.
Sometimes, my fingers slip into, you know...and in my
fantasy, we are united as man ...and . . . wife.'
Annie sounded awfully short of breath too and there was
a long pause. All that could be heard was our breathing.
I hoped she would go on, even though I would have given
her absolution at this point. But I was hardly able to
speak. I just lay there, listening to Annie's breathing.
It was very fast and slightly ragged. Then it stopped.
A few seconds later, she began breathing again, gasping
for air. Slowly, her breath returned to a deep and
relaxed rhythm. I assumed she had fallen asleep. Lately,
I'd had a bit of trouble falling asleep myself, battling
the images of Annie in my mind and she often held her
breath, then gasped and breathed normally again. It was
probably some recurring dream she had.
***
We didn't talk about the confession-game in the morning.
I felt rather embarrassed about it and preferred to
forget it. No; part of me preferred to forget it, but a
nasty little voice inside my head wanted to repeat it.
And that voice was feeding my feeling of guilt, my
feeling of doing something wrong.
To feed my fantasies and attempt to eliminate the image
of Annie's nude body from my mind, I concentrated on one
of the girls in my class, Catrine. She was a petit girl
with a very innocent appearance. Always quiet, always
smiling. She usually wore very tight shirts and jeans.
Her breasts weren't as big as Annie's, but she looked
very cute and very sexy in a gentle kind of way.
Over the next couple of days, I had some success. She
gradually took over Annie's place in my fantasies and it
made me feel a lot better. Whenever I was close to
Catrine, I felt a surge in my stomach. We began talking
a little, Catrine and I. I loved standing close to her
and inhaling the wonderful aroma of her perfume. The
best thing was that I felt she was watching me too, like
I was watching her; secretly.
I was still a bit nerdy, but because of the gymnastic
training, I had a nice, muscular body. I wasn't muscular
in the bodybuilder-way that Mark was and I didn't have
his smart looks either, but I wasn't at all bad-looking.
I began to figure out a ways to be with Catrine, alone.
It was difficult, because she lived far from me. My
initial plan was to invite her to the cinema one
evening. We could meet downtown, see a film and then go
home. It would be equal distance for both of us. The
only problem was to work up the courage to ask her. I
couldn't' ask her while others were around, I didn't
dare to. I did have her phone number, but whenever I had
gathered enough courage to call her, somebody else was
using the phone or sitting in the room where the phone
was.
It took three long weeks, before my courage and discreet
access to the phone coincided. My heart was beating like
a scared rabbit as I dialled the number. I just prayed
that it would be Catrine who answered the phone.
My prayers were heard.
'Hello'
'Eh hello Catrine?'
'Yes.'
'Eh, it's Dan. I wondered if you wanted to go see a film
tomorrow?' I said, determined to get it over with as
fast as possible.
'Who's coming?' Catrine asked.
'Eh, I was thinking... just you and me,' I said and held
my breath.
There was a short pause, but it felt like an eternity.
'No, I don't think so. I'm going out with my boyfriend.
But thanks anyway.'
My heart sank and a big knot formed in my stomach.
'Okay,' I said, trying not to sound too disappointed.
'Maybe some other time. See you tomorrow.'
'See you. Bye,' Catrine answered and hung up.
I was devastated and felt utterly humiliated. I had
finally worked up enough courage to call her and then
she already had a boyfriend. I wasn't really sad, I was
scared that she would tell somebody and I would become
the laughingstock of the whole school. The rest of the
day and the next morning were a nightmare, anxiously
awaiting the inevitable confrontation, meeting Catrine
in class.
Nothing happened. Catrine acted exactly as she had done
before. No giggling girls in small groups, pointing at
me and whispering. No funny remarks, nothing. The knot
in my stomach, which had been growing to the size of a
basketball during the evening and morning, slowly
disappeared and by lunchtime, I could only feel a little
sting, when I recalled the phone conversation.
***
During the past three weeks, I had spent a considerable
amount of my time in the living room, waiting for the
right time to call Catrine, during the past three weeks.
That also meant that I hadn't been in my room, when
Annie returned from her daily shower and that had helped
keeping her off my mind. Now that I no longer needed to
be by the phone, I returned to my room. Catrine sort of
drifted out of my fantasies. The first time Annie
returned from the shower, she sat down on my bed with
her legs pulled up under herself and spread a little,
giving me a clear view to her crotch. Annie was back in
my fantasies.
Soon it was February and we were now sixteen; both of
us. I had recovered from Catrine's rejection, but not
enough that I felt like trying my luck with another
girl. One night, in the beginning of February, Annie and
I were talking in our beds as usual. We talked about
everything and nothing, mostly nothing. I was getting
kind of drowsy, when Annie suddenly asked a question,
which made me wake up very quickly.
'Do you want to play Confession again?' she asked.
Before I had time to think, I had already answered:
'Yes.'
Annie didn't hesitate either.
'Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.'
'Confess your sins my child and thou shall be forgiven,'
I answered, feeling the excitement build rapidly.
'I have sinful dreams, Father. I dream of a boy, coming
to me, naked. I'm naked too and I open myself for him.
He sits down on my bed and his hands touch my skin so
lightly. I take his hands and press them against my
tits, but he wants to be in control. He takes my hands
and holds them tight over my head. I'm helpless and have
to let him have his way. He kisses me deeply. His lips
leave mine and he plants small kisses down my neck and
chest.'
Annie paused, waiting for me to say something. Her
confession took my breath away. It wasn't one of
Simone's confessions, it was something she made up
herself.
'Go on,' I said, a little out of line.
'He's strong, but gentle. His lips close around my
nipples and I feel the heat spread from my chest. I can
feel his tongue, caressing my nipple. He is driving me
insane with his light caresses. He holds my hands with
one hand and I can feel his other hand on my thigh.
'I try to resist him, Father, but he is so strong and he
gently forces my thighs apart and slides his hand up,
closer and closer to my pussy. Just when I can feel his
hands touching me in my most private place, I wake up.
It is my own fingers, Father and I can't stop touching
myself as I dreamed he would.'
Annie paused again and it took a moment for me to regain
my composure and my ability to speak.
'It... ahem... is very sinful, my child,' I coughed with
a hoarse voice.
My brain worked at high speed, trying to find something
to say, but I couldn't make my brain function. It was
clouded with the image of Annie's outstretched body with
her hands between her legs.
'Eh ...I think you should say three Ave Marias and then
take a cold shower to cool the heat inside you.' I
finally said.
'Do you think it will help Father? The cold shower?'
Annie said, sounding really innocent.
'I do.'
'I hope so Father... I'm so terribly hot,' Annie gasped.
We were both quiet. I was extremely hot too. I badly
wanted to go to the bathroom and relieve the pressure,
but I was afraid it would be too obvious. I could hear
Annie shuffling in her bed, probably turning around.
Then she held her breath for some time. A strange,
muffled noise escaped her, hardly noticeable. She began
breathing again, slowly returning to normal. I assumed
she was sleeping, until she spoke.
'Are you asleep?' she asked.
'No.'
'Well, good night then. Sleep tight.'
'Good night.'
It took a while before I fell asleep. Annie's
"confession" had excited me beyond anything, but it also
had me puzzled. She knew a lot more about it than I had
thought. The more I thought about it, the more it became
obvious that she knew a lot more about it than I did. I
had no idea about how to touch a girl to make her feel
good; or how a girl would touch me, for that matter.
***
The next day, Annie didn't shower until just before we
were going to bed. Just before she finished her shower,
I heard some excited squeals from the bathroom. When she
came out with a towel wrapped around herself, her cheeks
were blushing. She didn't stop to talk, but headed into
her own room and to bed.
'Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.'
She didn't even ask if I wanted to play, but I was game.
As always, I fought a losing battle with my better
conscience.
'Confess your sins my child and thou shall be forgiven,'
I quickly answered.
'The cold shower didn't help, Father. It only made my
skin more sensitive. I'm so hot, Father. I have to sleep
naked or I will run up a fewer. The cold water made my
nipples so hard they almost hurt.'
I was about to swallow my tongue. Annie was lying naked
in her bed, a couple of feet away.
'I had to rub them to make them stop hurting, but that
only made me hotter,' Annie continued. 'And my skin is
so sensitive. Feeling the sheets and duvet caress my
skin makes me think of warm, soothing hands, caressing
me. When I put the duvet between my legs to stop it from
rubbing against me, it feels as if there was a boy lying
between my legs.'
I could hear Annie shifting in her bed and I saw her, in
my inner eye, with the duvet between her legs. I was
speechless, just waiting for her to continue. Annie
continued to "confess" her sins, her dreams and how it
made her touch herself. It was a very exciting
repetition of the previous confession, ending the same
way as last night. I recommended cold showers again and
we said good night. I wasn't able to fall asleep right
them, but eventually I did.
I masturbated, thinking of Annie's confessions and with
the image of her, nude in her bed. Afterwards, I still
felt guilty, but I could almost convince myself that it
was ok. It was just words and imagination, after all.
I was full of anticipation the following evening and
found myself wishing it was bedtime at eight. Again,
Annie had postponed her bath until we were going to bed.
I had finished in the bathroom, before she showered and
was lying in bed, waiting. Suddenly, the bathroom door
opened and Annie flew through my room, naked. I only
caught a glimpse of her bouncing breasts. I could hear
that she jumped straight into bed.
'Have you ever tried to sleep naked?' was the first
thing she said.
Her voice sounded as if she was really cold. She had
really been taking a cold shower. She was taking the
little game one step further.
'Uh no, I haven't,' I answered.
'It's nice. You should try it.'
'Now?' I asked, a little anxious.
'Uh-huh.'
I hesitated. Still, nobody could see me and nobody would
ever know. Except Annie of course, but she wouldn't tell
anybody.
'Okay,' I answered.
Quickly, I took off my pyjamas and briefs. It felt
strange to lie in bed, naked. Strange but also exciting.
Annie was lying a few feet away, also naked.
'Are you naked now?' Annie asked.
'Yes. Are you?' I couldn't make myself ask the question.
'I am. It feels so good, doesn't it.'
'Uhu.'
I just wanted Annie to start her confession. I had
turned off the light as soon as Annie was in her bed,
but Annie hadn't turned hers off yet. It was as if she
was waiting for something, but finally she turned off
her light too and the ritual began with the same
sentences; the start of Annie's confession.
'The shower made me so cold, Father. I start to dream
about a boy, coming to me, naked. He puts his body over
mine to warm me up. I feel the heat spreading throughout
my body, especially between my legs. I become burning
hot, Father. I have to push off the duvet to avoid
burning up. And I dream that he lays down next to me.
His strong hands caress my breasts, my tummy and my
thighs. His hand slides up my inner thigh, so slowly and
reaches my pussy.'
I could hear her push the duvet off and I badly wanted
to get up and peek into her room, but it was dark and I
wouldn't be able to see anything.
'His fingers brush over my pussy, lightly and teasing. I
want him to touch me, I want it so much, Father. Is that
very bad?'
I had to snap out of my own fantasy to answer.
'Yes, my child. It's very bad. What happens next.'
'I want him so much, but he suddenly disappears. I have
to touch myself instead. My fingers become his and I let
a finger slip in between the lips...'
Annie stopped for a second and gasped. I'm sure her
finger was doing what she said it was. I was touching
myself in much the same manner Annie was.
'I'm so hot and wet, Father. It feels so good to touch
myself. Why is it a sin, Father?'
The question had me stumped. I had no idea what to
answer. Nobody had ever told me that touching myself was
wrong. I knew that the church, at least the Catholic
Church considered it a sin. I knew there was something
in the Bible about Onan, spilling his seed on the barren
land, but that was about it.
'Because the Bible says so. Personally, I don't think it
is a mortal sin, my child.' I answered.
'You mean, I'm not doomed. That's good because it
feels... so... good.'
Annie sounded very excited. Her breathing was very
ragged and I could hear a slurping, wet sound a couple
of times. She held her breath and suddenly I knew what
was happening.
I went through a lot of different emotions: first I was
shocked, then very aroused, followed by a feeling of
relief -- a feeling of not being the only one who had
these kinds of feelings. And then the perpetual feeling
of guilt. This was wrong. Siblings weren't supposed to
have that kind of feelings towards each other. Even if
we only were cousins; in a way, we were brother and
sister.
We said good night and I tried to fall asleep, more
confused than ever before.
The next five evenings were a repeat of that evening.
Even though I felt guilty afterwards, I was able to
forget it the next evening.
The first evening, Annie turned to me as I left the
bathroom before she went in to take her shower.
'You will sleep nude, right?' She asked and without
waiting for the answer, she disappeared into the
bathroom. I took off my pyjamas and slipped into bed. I
didn't want to be caught by surprise, so when I heard
Annie squeal as she turned off the warm water, I kept my
eyes glued on the bathroom door. A minute or two later,
the door opened and Annie rushed to her room, nude and
giggling. My eyes tried to absorb as much as possible of
the sight of her nude body in the split second it took
her to get from the bathroom to her own room.
The confession ritual was repeated as on the previous
evenings, but Annie and her imaginary boyfriend became
more and more daring as the days passed.
'His fingers part my lips and he lets a finger enter me
where no man has entered me before. Slowly, his finger
sinks in deeper and it feels so good, Father. I just
have to put a finger inside myself and, Ummm... pretend
it is him.'
The second day, she took another step: 'He kisses my
nipples until they are so hard. Then he proceeds down
over my tummy, kissing me all over. His strong hands
force my legs apart. Oh Father, I'm shivering with
anticipation. I feel his hot breath on my pussy. I feel
his fingers spread my lips. And then... I feel his
tongue touch me in that spot where it feels... so nice.'
I wondered how Annie could make up these "confessions"
and then tell them to me. But it made me feel more
relaxed that she did. I was shy and I found it very
difficult to talk about sex or even listen to others
talk about it, even though I wanted to. But the darkness
and Annie's boldness made me feel secure.
The third day: 'He took my head and guided my mouth to
his groin. I was helpless, Father. He was so strong and
I had to open my mouth to his tool. But I did it anyway.
I wanted it. I wanted to please him with my mouth as he
had pleased me with his mouth. I let my tongue swirl
around the head.'
That was almost enough to make me lose my composure
without touching myself. I began to consider, if there
was a way I could masturbate without her hearing it and
without making my bed wet. I could take a cloth or
something with me to bed, but I would have to dispose of
it somehow. It would have to lie in my room all night
and I was afraid that Annie would be able to smell it.
The fourth day: 'He places himself over me, leaning on
his strong arms. I feel his tool, pressing against my
opening. It feels so big, but suddenly I feel it enter
me. In my dream, his tool fills me.'
I was becoming a little braver and was trying to get a
bigger part in the game, asking questions as Father
Peter.
'What do you do, when you dream about that? Do you touch
yourself?' I asked.
'I can't help it, Father. I have to fill myself. I put
two fingers into myself. H-he... penetrates me... deeper
and deeeeeper. Oh Father, I want him so much...'
She always had to discard the duvet at some point in her
confession and the urge to get up and peek was growing.
The fifth day: 'He asks me to get down on my hands and
knees. I feel him behind me, but I can't see him, only
feel his tool, pressing against my opening. His strong
hands grab my hips and he enters me with great force. He
pushes me forward, pressing my shoulders down on the
bed. He orders me to touch myself, while he fills me
again and again. He reaches around me and squeezes my
tits. He enters me hard and deep... so fast... deep,
mmmm faster!'
The sixth day was a Saturday. My parents had a small
dinner party that night. Annie and I had been allowed to
drink a glass of wine. We were young adults now, as my
dad put it, and my parents thought it best to learn how
to behave in the safe environment of our home. So we
were occasionally allowed to have some wine and this
evening we had even had a weak drink afterwards.
We weren't drunk in any way, but I felt a little
uplifted. Around 11 o'clock, I said I was tired and was
going to bed. Annie excused herself too and we went up
to our rooms. Annie was very playful and probably a
little tipsy too.
'Are you too tired to hear my confession,' she asked
teasingly, when we got into her room.
'Of course not,' I said and added boldly. 'That was why
I wanted to go to bed now.'
'Hurry up then!' Annie giggled.
I was finished in no time and left the bathroom to
Annie. She showered quickly and came into my room,
wrapped in a towel. I had expected her to be rushing
through the room, nude, but instead, she sat down at the
end of my bed, leaning against the wall.
'Are you naked?' she asked.
'Yes.'
'Show me!'
'NO!' I said, blushing and embarrassed. My excitement
was already showing.
'It's not fair. You have seen me naked,' Annie
protested.
I blushed even more, because I knew she was right.
'I just want to see. I've never seen . . .' She
hesitated, suddenly a little timid, '...you know. I'll
take the towel off too.'
'But...'
'On the count of three, ok? Pleeeeease,' she pleaded in
the sweetest voice.
It must have been the wine and of course my desire to
see her naked. I shrugged, nodded and Annie began to
count.
'One... two...' Annie hesitated and looked at me to make
sure I would pull the duvet off.
I sat up in the bed, trying to sit in a way that would
hide my predicament. Annie loosened the towel and I took
hold of the duvet. We looked at each other, shy but
excited, anxiously awaiting the count of three.
'I'll start again,' Annie said, blushing. 'One... two...
three!'
I pulled the duvet away and Annie pulled the towel off.
We had both folded our legs to the side, hiding our most
private parts. But Annie's breasts were in plain view
and I couldn't help staring at them. Annie looked a
little disappointed at me.
'You cheat. Come on, I want to see it.'
Something inside me took over.
'Okay, but then you have to show too,' I said boldly.
We looked at each other and began shifting our legs. My
dick had been squeezed between my thighs and as soon as
I moved, it popped up. There wasn't really anything to
hide anymore and I sat cross-legged, giving Annie a
clear view. I could feel the heat raise in my cheeks and
I suddenly felt very ashamed again. I didn't dare look
directly at Annie.
Out of the corner of my eye I could see Annie's crotch.
She was leaning against the wall and had spread her
legs. She looked a bit timid too, trying not to stare at
me, but secretly glancing at my crotch.
We sat like that for a while, secretly studying each
other. Annie had red hairs down there like I had, but
not as much as me. Only a small patch on top. I noticed
for the first time that she had freckles on her chest,
all the way down over the top of her breasts. It looked
kind of cute.
Annie broke the silence.
'Is it always like that, so big?' she asked.
'No, it's only when I get... you know, like... when I'm
looking at you... naked,' I replied, blushing and very
timidly.
'It's bigger than I thought it would be. Are all men
that big?'
'I don't know. I haven't compared myself with anybody,'
I answered.
'I haven't,,, you seen some of the other boys on the gym
team in the showers?' Annie asked, determined to get an
answer to her question about size.
'No... well yes, but they're... soft. You can't really
tell. I don't think it's big.' I said, not really
wanting to talk about it. It made me feel embarrassed to
admit to looking at other boys.
Annie shrugged and looked more openly at me.
Involuntarily, my dick jerked, making Annie giggle.
'It's alive,' she said, and giggled nervously.
I couldn't help laughing too. It kind of broke the tense
atmosphere. I still didn't really know what to say. It
was very exciting to just sit there, naked. It was a
little uncomfortable to sit cross-legged. I took the
duvet and my pillow and put them against the headboard.
Then I could lean back and sit like Annie. Our legs
touched at the ankle. It felt nice too.
It was Annie who took the initiative again.
'Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.'
I think I had expected her to go to her own room, before
we started the game and I wasn't prepared. It didn't
take me long, though.
'Confess your sins, my child and thy sins shall be
forgiven,' I answered solemnly.
Annie hesitated for a second, looking at me timidly.
'I've had this fantasy about... a boy. I'm lying in my
bed... and he... comes to me... and does such wonderful
things to me.'
Annie looked down shyly as she spoke. It was funny, but
her sudden shyness made me feel more relaxed.
'What does he do to you that is so wonderful?' I asked.
'First he... well, he touches my tits and pinches my
nipples.' Annie was looking at me again. I don't know if
it was deliberate, but her hands cupped her breasts and
her fingers began to rub the nipples in small circles.
It was so exciting to look at.
'His fingers make my nipples hard. He caresses my tits
and nipples until I'm going insane. He makes me so hot,
Father. Then his hands slide down over my tummy...'
Annie's hands began to slide down, down towards her
crotch. My mind was clouded, but completely focused on
Annie and her hands. I watched closely as she caressed
her inner thighs. She was still talking and I heard it
and saw it. Saw her hands move back towards her crotch.
She brushed over the lips and the sparse hairs. The
fingers spread the lips as "his" fingers were doing in
her fantasy. Inside, the skin was red and glistening, a
lot of crinkles and folds. It looked wet.
She slid one finger down between the lips. Then up again
and circled the top of the folds. She stopped talking,
breathing faster. The finger moved faster. She started
talking again, telling how she felt his tool at the
entrance. She placed a stiff finger between the lips, a
little under the finger that moved in small circles.
Suddenly, she pushed and the finger disappeared into
her. She moaned and arched her back, pushing her chest
up and lifting herself from the bed.
I must have been touching myself. I was touching myself!
As she arched her back and I saw the finger disappeared,
I felt a familiar feeling. I stopped touching myself
immediately, but it didn't help the situation. I froze
in panic and watched the eruption helplessly.
Unable to move, my eyes followed the first jet landing
on Annie's chest and tummy. I watched Annie open her
eyes, surprised and stare at me. She leaned closer and
the next jet, equally powerful, hit her chin and chest.
Annie watched the white liquid splash out on her body.
Her eyes were wide open in surprise and amazement.
Normally, I loved the feeling I had when this happened,
but this was the worst thing that had ever happened to
me. I wanted to die, I wanted it to stop, I wanted to
get away from Annie. It was so embarrassing. Then Annie
giggled.
'Go away!' I hissed, humiliated and angry.
I regretted it as soon as I saw tears fill Annie's eyes,
but it was too late. Annie rushed into her room, crying.
'Annie! I didn't mean it like that...'
No reply. All I could hear was her weeping. My
embarrassment disappeared. Instead, I just felt like a
real lousy asshole. I got up and went into Annie's room.
She was lying on her bed, face down on her pillow. She
was shivering and weeping.
'Please don't cry, Annie. I'm sorry... I didn't mean it.
Please stop crying.'
'You don't love me. Nobody loves me.' Annie wept, half
muffled by the pillow.
'I do love you, but what we did was wrong.'
'Why? We are both over 15.' Annie answered, angrily.
'Yes, but we are almost brother and sister. It's...' but
Annie cut me off.
'We're cousins. Cousins can marry and all. If we had
done it, it would be ok.' She said, her eyes still
filled with tears. 'You just don't love me.'
'I do. You are my best friend. You know that.' I
protested.
'Then why won't you touch me?' Annie said, sounding
really hurt.
'What do you mean?' I answered, utterly confused.
'You are the boy in my dreams, stupid.' Annie said and
buried her face in the pillow again.
It hit me like a ton of bricks. I mean deep down inside,
I guess I had dreamed that it was me she was thinking
off, but I had suppressed it, because it was wrong to
think that way, being almost sister and brother. God, I
was an idiot.
I put my arms around her trembling shoulders.
'I'm sorry, Annie. I didn't think,' I whispered in her
ear.
'Well, why do you think I told you all those dreams and
did those things, stupid?'
'I-I've been dreaming about you too. But it just felt
wrong. I mean, I think of you as my sister and... I...
felt bad.' I whispered. I felt good finally to say it.
'Is it really true that cousins can... you know, marry?'
I added.
'My mom's...' Annie bit herself off. 'Someone in my
family are cousins. It isn't wrong.'
I squeezed her shoulders and leaned closer to her. 'I
love you so much, Annie.'
'You really mean it?' Annie asked and turned to face me.
'Uhm.'
Annie hid her face in my neck. We said nothing for a
while. Then Annie surfaced again. Her eyes were red, but
happy again.
'It was great to see you... have an orgasm. That was an
orgasm, right?' Annie asked, a little insecure.
I felt the embarrassment return for a second. But just
for a second. Suddenly, it didn't feel so wrong any
more. 'It was. I-I... want to see you have an orgasm
too,' I answered.
'Yes, but I think I'm too tired now. Can we just lie
close?' Annie said and looked at me with big, warm eyes.
'I'm sorry. Yes of course. I'll do anything for you.' I
said and I meant it.
When Annie had fallen asleep, I went into my own bed. I
felt so relieved, so happy. I feel asleep without
feeling any guilt for the first time in months.
***
I slept like a log and didn't wake up until my father
knocked on the door to tell us that breakfast was ready.
We always had breakfast together on Sundays. It was one
of the few occasions, where we were together, all of us.
It was a wonderful Sunday. Annie and I were together as
always, but it was different. A touch of a hand suddenly
felt different. A smile or just a glance. I was filled
with anticipation. I was longing for the evening and
bedtime.
We hadn't had much snow that winter. One or two days,
but it had melted away as fast as it had fallen. Frost
and snow hadn't coincided at all. Winters here are often
like that. Maybe that is what makes snow so much more
fascinating.
When the heavy snowflakes began to fall and stayed on
the ground, Annie wanted to take a walk in the snow. We
were too old to go sledding, but it didn't matter. The
snow itself was reason enough.
We walked to the park. The small hill was already
crowded with kids on sleds. The layer of snow was way
too thin to take the heavy traffic and the snowfall
couldn't keep up. The side of the hill was just icy mud,
but the kids didn't seem to mind.
We walked on with no preset goal. It was so nice to walk
in the snow, just being together. Annie suddenly stopped
and turned towards me.
'I love you,' she said and put her arms around me.
'I love you too.'
'Kiss me,' Annie said.
I kissed her in a brotherly way, just a brief touching
of our lips.
'No, not like that. A real kiss,' Annie said, pulling me
back.
'What do you mean?' I asked, ignorant as I was.
'Like, French kissing. With the tongue and all, you
know,' Annie answered.
She didn't give me time to admit that I didn't have a
clue. She put her arms around my neck and pulled me
close. Our lips touched again. I could feel her tongue,
probing tentatively. Instinctively, I did as she did and
opened my mouth a little. The tips of our tongues met.
Our mouths open a little more and more. Our tongues made
love like snakes.
The feeling took my breath away. Maybe it was a
combination of not being able to breathe through my
nose, because of the frosty weather, and the kiss.
Anyway, we had to break after a minute or so. I was
dizzy. The whole, white world around me was spinning. It
was so arousing.
'Where did you learn that?' I uttered, surprised.
'One of the girls on my team told me how. She told me a
lot of stuff. Don't boys talk about ...girl stuff?'
'No. I mean, yes, but not like that ...you know, how
to,' I answered, timidly.
I was still feeling very uneasy, talking about it. I
didn't need to, not right now. Annie pulled me close
again.
The second kiss was even better than the first. I could
feel a nice warm feeling, spreading throughout my body.
It made me kind of expect the snow to be melting around
us. God, it felt good.
Annie must have thought so too. We kissed and kissed
until we realised that the heat, spreading in our
bodies, didn't reach our feet. A minute longer and we
would have been unable to move, our feet frozen to the
ground.
We headed back home. It took me an hour after we had
returned to get the heat back into my feet, but it
didn't really matter. I felt light and warm. The rest of
the Sunday dragged along. I just wanted to go to bed; to
be alone with Annie again. Around nine, I was counting
the minutes. We usually went to bed around 10 and I
didn't want to do anything out of the ordinary. I
already felt terribly embarrassed, sure that my
excitement showed all over.
Finally, ten minutes to ten, Annie announced that she
was tired and wanted to go to bed. Once in our room, I
was suddenly very nervous. I finished up in the bathroom
and opened the door with shaking hands. Annie was still
in her own room, but when she heard the door, she
appeared in the doorway. Not wearing her bathrobe as
usual, but in her panties and bra. Funny, because I
often walked around in my jocks, like now, after
showering, but Annie never did.
When Annie saw me staring, she blushed and looked down.
Somehow, it made me more relaxed. She went into the
bathroom.
'See you in a sec,' she said. 'Wait for me.'
I could do nothing but wait. Even if she had taken all
night, I wouldn't have been able to fall asleep.
It felt like hours, but I'm sure she was finished in a
matter of minutes. All my concentration was on the
sounds from the bathroom. I heard the squealing that
told me she had turned off the warm water and finished
with a cold shower. Heard her turn off the water. Then
the sound of teeth brushing and, finally, the sound of
the handle being turned.
She had a towel wrapped around her. Her cheeks were
blushing and her eyes shining. I was sitting up in my
bed, staring at her. She was just standing there, in the
doorway.
'Are you naked?' She asked.
'Uh-huh,' I said and nodded, eagerly.
It looked like she was going to take off the towel, but
she changed her mind and kept it on. Like yesterday, she
sat down at the foot of my bed. We looked timidly at
each other in silence. For the first time, I took the
initiative. I don't know where I got the courage.
'Confess your sins, my child and thou shall be
forgiven.'
Annie giggled nervously and blushed.
'I sit on his bed and I'm naked, except for a towel. He
reaches over and pulls the towel away.'
She stopped and looked at me in nervous anticipation.
Leaning forward, I took hold of the towel and pulled.
Annie had to lift herself a little before I could remove
the towel.
'He removes the duvet and reveals that he's naked too.'
I pulled the duvet away and tugged it behind me.
'He's so big and hard. He moves closer to me and he puts
his hand on my breast...'
I followed her direction. Tentatively, I put my hand on
her breast. It was so soft. I could feel her nipple in
the palm of my hand. Annie closed her eyes and sighed.
'He squeezes it a little caresses it... His fingers
touch my nipple... rub it... yes... He takes it between
his fingers and squeezes it... yes, a little harder...
yessss...' She whimpered and I was afraid I had pinched
it too hard. Frightened, I removed my hand.
'I'm sor...' I started to say but Annie cut me off.
'No, don't stop,' she said.
I put my hand back on her breast. Annie sighed and
leaned back, letting me caress her breasts and nipples.
I shifted around, getting up on my knees. It was a
little more comfortable and I could use both hands. My
bed wasn't very wide and I had to be careful not to fall
off.
After a while, Annie started her "confession" again.
'He moves his hand down over my tummy, down to my thighs
and makes me spread my legs.'
It was easier said than done. Annie's legs were trapped
between the wall and me and I had to pull her left leg
up and over my legs to be able to spread them. It was
awkward and took a bit of time and giggling, before I
was kneeling between Annie's legs.
I put my hands on her inner thighs. God, her skin was so
smooth. Slowly, I slid my hands up, but stopped before I
reached her crotch. I was still a little uncertain about
how far I was supposed to go. Annie felt my hesitation.
'His hands caress my thighs... they move up... to my
pussy and touch.' she took a deep breath as my fingers
brushed over her crotch. 'He... his fingers... part my
lips...'
I was staring at her crotch, trying to follow her
direction, but a little uncertain about how to do it.
Tentatively, I put my fingers on her lips. Her crotch
was so hot.
The lips were much softer than I had expected. I tried
to remember what Annie had done last night. Cautiously,
I spread the lips and gazed at the glistening, red folds
that were exposed. Annie was breathing heavily and her
thighs were quivering.
'His finger touches me... between the lips,' Annie
gasped with closed eyes.
Very, very cautiously, I let the tip of my finger touch
the delicate skin between her lips. It was slippery.
Annie gasped for air and in a brief second, her body
tensed. I retracted my finger.
'More,' Annie hissed, opening her eyes and looking at me
with blurred eyes, 'touch me.'
My finger returned and tentatively, I moved it a little
up and down, like Annie had done yesterday. She was
really wet down there. Annie's hips began to move up and
down very slowly. She had closed her eyes again and
tilted her head back. I tried to follow her movements.
Apparently, that wasn't what she wanted me to do. She
grabbed my hand and guided my finger to the top of her
crotch where the lips met. I could feel a little hard
nub under my finger.
Annie moved the tip of my finger up and down over the
nub.
'There,' she gasped and let go of my hand.
I rubbed the little nub gently. Her hips continued to
move up and down faster. Gradually, she slid closer and
closer to me until her buttocks rested against my knees
and her legs were spread wide around me. Her breathing
was ragged. Her hands were clenching the sheet. Her hips
began to move more strongly. She held her breath and her
body strained until she stood like a bow over the bed.
Her tummy convulsed.
It looked so violent, as if she was being tortured.
Suddenly, she grabbed my hand and rubbed herself against
it very hard and fast. She gasped for air, whimpering
and her body began to jerk, rigidly.
I watched, astounded and unable to do anything, as Annie
ground herself violently against my hand... until she
just held my hand tightly against her crotch, panting
and covered in a fine sheen of sweat.
'Are you okay?' I asked, when I regained control over my
voice.
'God yes,' she panted and opened her eyes. 'Did I break
your hand?'
She let go of my hand and I must admit that it was a bit
sore. She had twisted it into a slightly unnatural
position.
'I think it is okay,' I said and rubbed my wrist.
She pushed herself to an upright position, still sitting
with her legs spread around me, her buttocks touching my
knees. Her eyes moved down towards my crotch.
'Can I touch it?'
'Yes.'
Her fingers brushed lightly over the shaft.
'It's so smooth,' she said, surprised.
She formed a fist around the shaft and held it. Her warm
hand felt so good, better than I had ever been able to
imagine. My dick jerked in her hand and it made her
giggle excitedly.
'It's moving.' She said, excited.
'What do I do?' she asked, after holding it for a while.
'Eh, my legs are about to cramp,' I said and began to
rearrange myself.
I leaned back on my elbows and got my legs out from
under myself. It was a lot more comfortable. Annie
closed her hand around my dick again, leaning forward to
get a closer look.
'What do you want me to do? Can I make you squirt like
yesterday?' Annie asked.
For a moment, the embarrassment returned, but then I
realised that I had just watched Annie have an orgasm.
My excitement helped me overcome my embarrassment.
'Hold it a little tighter... pull down... then move up
again,' I gasped as she began to move her fist up and
down.
She was excited and tense, concentrating on her hand and
my dick. It felt a million times better than my own
hand.
'Faster!' I managed to gasp.
Annie's hand gripped me a little tighter and moved up
and down faster and faster. I could feel it approaching,
much stronger than ever before. I didn't think of
warning her. As the first spurt erupted, everything went
black. I didn't see how Annie reacted. It was an
overwhelming orgasm.
Annie kept moving her hand up and down until I stopped
her. We looked at each other. Annie had globs of my
fluids on her chin, her chest and in her hair. I guess
she must have leaned over me, when I began to spurt. The
rest had landed on my tummy and chest. I would probably
have been very embarrassed if Annie hadn't smiled the
way she did, so happy and lovingly.
We sat there, looking at each other until Annie looked
over my shoulder at the clock on my table.
'We better clean up and go to bed. It's after eleven,'
Annie said.
'Oops. Better turn out the light in case mom or dad
comes up here,' I said and jumped out of bed.
We helped each other wash my cum away. Just before Annie
went into her own room, she stopped and turned to me. We
just sort of drifted into each other's arms and kissed
deeply. The heat began to spread in my body, just as it
had done when we kissed before. I didn't want to stop,
but we had to.
'We'll be alone tomorrow afternoon,' Annie said. 'Good
night and have pleasant dreams.'
'You too.'
-= 3 =-
Monday was great. We had a lovely time in the afternoon,
spreading out our duvets on the floor to get more room
for our activities. In the evening, we did the same
thing.
Tuesday afternoon almost ended in catastrophe, when mom
came home unexpectedly. We barely managed to get dressed
before she came up to our rooms to see why we didn't
come down when she called for us. After that, we decided
not to undress in the afternoon, unless we were
absolutely sure that we wouldn't be disturbed.
Mom and dad never entered our rooms, after we had gone
to bed. They would look for light seeping out under the
door, when they themselves went to bed, but that was
always an hour or more after we had retreated.
The afternoons were still exciting. We would caress,
kiss and arouse each other to the point where we were
just about to throw all caution aside. I wouldn't allow
Annie to bring me to orgasm, because I was afraid of
staining our clothes and Annie would normally not let me
bring her to orgasm, because I couldn't join her. I told
her I didn't mind, because it was so exciting to bring
her to orgasm, (almost as good as getting one myself),
but Annie felt it was kind of lonely to be the only one
to have an orgasm.
I was very content with the way we pleased each other. I
knew there were other ways, but, right then, I didn't
feel the need to explore those ways. It was all so new,
so wonderful and so much better than doing it alone and
that was all I could think about.
Annie, on the other hand, was the adventurous type. She
probably also knew a lot more than I did, from her
friends on the gymnastic team. And she dared to express
her desires. Monday, she had showed me how to penetrate
her with a finger or two, to heighten the sensation for
her. She also taught me that her nipples and nub became
oversensitive after an orgasm and that I should stop
rubbing her there at that point. I could easily relate
to that. Annie was able to sense that sort of thing,
without needing to be told.
Thursday afternoon had been three hours of sultry
kissing and caressing, mixed with periods of frantic
caresses, bringing each other to the brink. I was in a
daze the rest of the day and I think Annie remained very
aroused too.
We showered in no time at all. I hardly had time to
arrange the duvets on the floor, before Annie came out
of the bathroom. We started kissing and feeling each
other's naked bodies, but after a minute or two, Annie
pulled back and looked me deep in the eyes.
'Will you do something for me?' she asked.
'Yes,' I answered without hesitation; I would do
anything for her.
'Will you...' she bit her lip and blushed, 'Kiss me down
there?'
Although I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do, I had
heard about "going down on a girl" and it had been a
part of some of my fantasies. Blurred, but definitely
exciting!
'Okay,' I replied and nodded.
Annie spread her legs to make room for me and I crawled
in between them. The smell of her excitement was very
strong as I brought my face close to her crotch.
Tentatively, I planted a kiss on her lips.
'More. Use your tongue like you use your finger.'
I don't really know what I had imagined I was to do, but
the thought of licking her there was a bit strange.
However, I wanted to please her and I knew it was
something that was common practice, so I parted her lips
with my fingers and put the tip of my tongue on the
little nub.
'Yesss,' Annie sighed and pushed herself against me.
The taste wasn't foul, as I halfway had expected,
considering what bodily function that part of the body
also performed. I licked her a little cautiously in the
beginning, but soon it felt very exciting. The smell,
the taste and the way she looked and sounded. I enjoyed
it, I loved it and I loved the reaction I got from her.
I let a finger slip into her wet tunnel. Annie moaned
quietly and put her hands on my head, pressing me
against her crotch.
It became a short, wild ride. A few minutes was all it
took. Annie put a pillow over her mouth to muffle her
moans as she climaxed. I got up next to her, my face all
wet with her secretions. Annie didn't seem to mind. She
kissed me passionately. Strange as it may seem, I felt
almost as satisfied as her.
'Dan?' Annie whispered in my ear.
'Uh-huh.'
'It was great.'
'Thanks. I thought it was great too, you know... doing
it.'
There was a short pause.
'If you want me to, I'll do it to you,' Annie whispered.
She didn't wait for my reply, but pushed me gently on to
my back and positioned herself between my legs. What was
about to happen had indeed been a part of my fantasies.
It was a lot easier for me to imagine what a girl would
do to a boy in this situation ...and I had. Seeing Annie
pull back the foreskin and slowly lower her mouth to
kiss the tip was almost enough.
Her tongue touched the tip as if she wanted to sample
the taste. The light touch to the very sensitive part of
my body made me jerk. Annie giggled and licked the tip
again. She looked up at me, excited, opened her mouth
and engulfed the head.
The feeling of her warm mouth was beyond anything and
seeing it was unbelievably exciting. When she put her
hands on my hips and began to move her head up and down,
I was unable to control myself. Involuntarily, my hips
jerked, pushing my cock deeper into Annie's mouth. She
gagged and backed off.
'Easy now. I can't take all of it.'
'I'm sorry. It wasn't on purpose. I'll try to lie still,
but it feels so good.' I replied.
'So, you want me to continue?' Annie said, teasingly.
'Yes please.'
'Hmmm, and if I don't?' she said and wrapped her hand
around my dick, squeezing it a little. She took the head
in her mouth briefly and popped it out again.
'Pleeeeease,' I moaned and put my hands on the back of
her head, trying to push her down.
'Promise to lick me again?' Annie said, resisting the
light pressure from my hands.
'Yes I promise.'
'Okay them.'
The break had actually been good, because it allowed me
to enjoy the wonderful sensation of her mouth much
longer. I kept my hands on her head, guiding her speed.
She kept her fist around my dick, preventing me from
accidentally getting too deep. She increased the speed.
I was getting so close again. When her other hand began
to caress my sack, I was gone. I pressed her head down
and exploded.
Totally consumed in my own feelings, I didn't even
consider if Annie would allow me to climax in her mouth.
I just pushed her head against me until I hear some
gurgling sounds coming from her. Then I immediately let
go and opened my eyes to see if she was ok.
Whatever her reaction had been when I began spurting in
her mouth, she had regained her composure. She smiled
with her mouth closed, pointing to her cheek, opened her
mouth and showed me that she had my cum in her mouth. I
don't know what she had planned, but the liquids follow
the laws of gravity and ran down over her chin. She
rapidly closed her mouth and swallowed reflectively.
Judging by the look on her face, it wasn't what she had
planned to do.
'Oops,' she said and wiped her chin with the back of her
hand.
She lay down beside me and kissed me. I was a little
reluctant, but had little choice. She tasted a bit
salty. I guess it was ok, I mean, she could kiss me,
when I had licked her.
Pleasing each other with our mouth and tongues became
the favourite way. It was so much better than using the
hands and fingers. Annie tried to tease me again, but
only one time. Just as I was on the brink of orgasm, she
pulled my dick out of her mouth. But I was too far gone
to stop and the first spurt shot straight up into her
nose, making her cough and puff. Afterwards, it was very
funny, but I don't think it was very pleasant getting it
up her nose.
We continued this way for almost two weeks until one
afternoon when Annie told me we couldn't.
'Why,' I asked, surprised and disappointed.
I was just about to slip my hand into the front of her
panties.
'Because I have my thing, you know. I'm bleeding.' Annie
said, not sounding too happy.
I knew what it meant. Annie's "thing" was highly
irregular and had caused my mom a lot of worrying, which
meant that it had been discussed several times. Apart
from that, I only knew when because the pack of tampons
in the bathroom was only there when she had her "thing".
I backed off.
'How long will it take?'
'Umm, it usually takes four or five days. But we can
still kiss and touch, but not down there,' Annie
answered and pulled me close.
'Are you sure you want to?'
'More than sure. It's like I want to much more, but I...
become so dry... you know, the tampon... sucks it all
up.'
I wasn't quite sure I understood the mechanics of it,
but since the tampon was meant to keep her dry, it
sounded right. It became the beginning of five days of
kissing, fondling and wild fantasies.
It was as if Annie tried to make up for her lack of
orgasms by fantasising. We began to play "Confession"
again. Her fantasies were wild. They were about us, of
course, but included a lot of things we hadn't done. She
imagined me forcing her to take all of me in her mouth,
although she admitted afterwards that she didn't want me
to do so. It was just something that excited her.
She also imagined us having intercourse. In those
fantasies, I always had to pull out at the last second
to avoid making her pregnant. She made it sound
wonderful and very easy. We didn't really discuss it,
but a certain tension was building. I think we both
wanted to do it but both were a little afraid of the
risk of pregnancy.
Maybe it was that fear that led Annie to her most
astounding fantasy. She must have been thinking
seriously about it, because her fantasy was very
detailed, beginning with me getting some butter from the
kitchen. I was to spread it on her other opening and
finally take her from behind.
At first I was shocked and a little disgusted. I mean, I
had heard about it, but it was kind of dirty in my mind
and I hadn't given it any serious consideration at all.
Annie obviously had and it forced me to think about it.
The more I thought about it, the more I got used to the
thought, to the extent were I began to find it exciting.
Still, it remained a fantasy, even after Annie's thing
was over and we could resume our normal activities. The
thought of having real intercourse was much more likely
and it was easier to talk about. I couldn't bring myself
to ask Annie if she really had considered letting me
enter her from behind. I had become better at talking
about sex, but sodomy wasn't just sex, it was sort of
taboo.
The first day after Annie had finished bleeding was a
Saturday. Not just that, but it was a Saturday when mom
and dad were going out and we were to be home alone all
evening from six until midnight, at a minimum. Mom and
dad were probably not going to be home before one or two
in the morning, but just in case, we decided to be in
bed by midnight.
I had been able to give myself relief the previous days,
but Annie was starved. Mom and dad left at six o'clock.
About one minute later, we were nude. Five minutes later
Annie was squealing and bucking her hips in her first
orgasm in six days. Annie made a lot of noise when she
had an orgasm, usually muffled by a pillow, but since we
were alone, she let it all out and it made me very
excited to listen to her.
She was still hungry for more and rested only for half a
minute before she returned the favour and let me come in
her mouth. Within fifteen minutes, we were both
satisfied and relaxed.
We dressed again and had the dinner mom had prepared for
us. TV was boring and soon we were kissing on the couch.
The clothes were in the way of our hands and mouths, but
we didn't dare continue naked in the living room ... in
the unlikely event that my parents might return
unexpectedly. Instead, we went to my room and laid our
duvets on the floor.
Annie stretched out next to me. Lazily, I let my hands
follow the curves of her body. It felt different. I had
time to feel and see her body. She relaxed completely
and purred contentedly as my hands explored her breasts.
They were flattened a bit when she was lying on her back
and the nipples were small and soft. That changed
quickly when I touched the one closest to me. The skin
around it sort of crinkled and the nipple grew and
became hard.
I moved on downwards to her crotch. It looked like the
hair on top of her pussy had been trimmed. I was sure it
had been longer and that there was more last week.
'Did you shave... down there?'
'Ummm, I can't have hair sticking out, when I wear a
leotard.'
'Isn't it easier to... you know, just shave it all off?'
'Some of the girls do, but most of them just shave a
little and trim the rest.'
Annie talked about it as naturally as if we were talking
about me shaving my chin. I found the thought of Annie
shaving very arousing.
'Doesn't it fell funny when you shave ...I mean, my
shaver buzzes a lot,' I asked, thinking that she used an
electrical shaver like I did.
'I use a razor, stupid,' Annie reply, giggling.
'You mean foam and all?' I said, picturing Annie making
foam like a barber in an old movie.
'Yes. Haven't you seen the can in the cupboard? You
know, instant foam.'
'And which can exactly would that be,' I asked
sarcastically. There were a zillion cans in her bathroom
cupboard, deodorants, perfumes, hairspray and what have
you.
'Ha ha, very funny.'
'Aren't you afraid of cutting yourself?'
'I'm careful. It isn't that difficult. You wanna see?'
'Now? Yes!!'
We went into the bathroom and Annie got the foam and the
razor.
'Do you think I should shave it all off?' she suddenly
asked.
'I don't know. Won't it be embarrassing... you know,
when you have to shower with the other girls?' I
replied, thinking how embarrassed I would feel.
'Why?' Annie asked, surprised, 'Lots of the girls do
it.'
'Must look kind funny.'
'We'll see,' Annie said and took a pair of scissors too.
She sat down on the bench in the shower stall. First she
trimmed the hairs really short, then washed with hot
water, before she applied the foam.
'You wanna help?' she asked, when she saw how I stared
at her.
'No way. I might cut you,' I replied.
Bit by bit, the razor removed foam and hair. She was
very careful, when she shaved the lips. After a few
minutes, she washed off the last traces of foam.
'Smooth as a baby,' she said, running her hand over the
top of her crotch.
'It looks...' I hesitated, because I didn't really know
how it looked. Exciting, yes, but also strange. I was
used to seeing her with hair down there. Now, she looked
like she did when she was ten years old. 'It looks kind
of funny,' I finally said.
'Don't you like it?' Annie asked, a little disappointed.
'Yes. I think it's very exciting,' I rapidly replied.
'And I won't get hair in my mouth now,' I added,
teasingly.
She had dried herself and we went back into my room. Her
crotch felt really smooth. She was on her back and I was
lying next to her on my side, leaning on my elbow. I was
fascinated with her new look and explored it thoroughly
with my fingers, causing Annie to become very wet and
short of breath. We snuggled up close, kissing and
caressing.
After a while, I ended up on top of Annie, lying between
her legs. My dick was between us, rubbing against her
crotch. It felt really good after she had shaved. We had
laid this way before and it was okay but her hair could
scratch a little and sometimes, a hair got caught behind
the foreskin and it felt a little unpleasant. Now, it
was as if the moisture, flowing freely from her pussy
was spreading much more. We moved slowly against each
other almost without friction.
We broke the kiss and looked at each other, tense and
excited. Somehow, we both wanted the same thing. Our
eyes spoke without words. Annie spread her legs wide,
pulling them up. I raised myself, resting on my hands,
to give Annie room to get a hand in between us.
Determined, she guided my dick into position.
I eased myself slowly forward, feeling resistance, but
also feeling her move against me. Annie looked tense.
She bit her lips as if anticipating pain. Then I could
feel her opening up for me. There was still resistance,
but bit by bit, I entered her.
A strange and very exciting feeling was growing in me.
WE WERE DOING IT. We had crossed a border. I didn't know
which border or what was on the other side. I hesitated
for a second, trying to sense if Annie felt the same.
Her mouth was open, her eyes feverishly shining with
arousal. I think she was feeling the same excitement as
I did.
It was so intense. Everything happened in slow motion.
My sense of time was lost. I was lost. Hours could have
passed, when Annie whispered.
'Is it... all in?'
I raised myself and we both looked down. About half of
me was inside her, as far as I could see. Our eyes meet
again.
'Do it now.' Annie whispered determined.
She crossed her legs behind my back and pulled to
accentuate her words. In one long push I entered her
fully. She tilted her head back, mouth and eyes wide
open. I had heard that it would hurt a girl when she
lost her virginity.
'Annie, are you okay?' I asked, anxiously.
'Yessss... I'm... so full... it feels... good,' Annie
gasped.
We didn't move. I didn't want to move. I was only just
beginning to grasp the feeling of being inside her. So
tight so complete, squeezing me from all sides. At that
point, the meaning of life was clear to me. We were
animals, put on the planet to breed and populate the
world. That was it. This felt so good, so right. It had
to be it.
Annie put her arms around my neck.
'Try moving,' she whispered almost soundlessly.
Very cautiously, I began to move. An intense feeling of
pleasure spread from my groin, leading to an urge to
move more, to intensify the feeling. Our eyes were
locked together, transmitting the feelings of pleasure
between us.
'God you feel so good,' Annie whispered.
'I love you Annie,' I whispered, short of breath.
'I love you too.'
We went beyond words again as the intensity of our
motions increased. I was so engulfed by it all that I
almost forgot about the risk. Fortunately, a little
voice inside my head began to scream out loud. I could
feel it approaching and suddenly I panicked and pulled
out of Annie. It wasn't that close, but I panicked.
'Why...?' Annie gasped, disappointed.
'I can't... come inside you.'
'It felt so gooood,' Annie wailed and spurred me with
her feet on my back. I was just about to enter her
again, but I was stronger than her.
'Annie don't! You might get pregnant,' I said, a little
shocked by her action.
'But I want you inside me.'
The frustration made me hazy. I snaked out of her arms
and buried my head between her thighs. The fragrance and
taste only aroused me more. Annie pulled her legs up as
if she was trying to make me lick her more, give me
access to new parts of her body. It was only second
best, but it was good. It felt good to give Annie
pleasure, felt so good to feel and hear her climax. I
forgot my own frustration.
Panting, sweaty and exhausted, we snuggled up close
together, me on top of Annie. I felt satisfied, even
though I hadn't been satisfied.
'What time is it?' Annie asked after a long time of
kissing and looking deep into each other's eyes.
I still had my wristwatch on.
'It's half past eight.'
'You... didn't come in me, did you?'
'No, of course not!'
'Good. It felt so... right. I want to do it again,' she
giggled.
Annie rotated her hips, trying to position my dick and
get it inside again. Everything down there was very
slippery and it seemed to be impossible. I tried to
help, lifting myself to get a better angle. It felt
right a couple of times, but Annie backed off, when I
pushed forward. We were uplifted and giggling silly,
when it suddenly happened.
This time, I sank in like a warm knife cut through
butter. In an instant, we were moving slowly against
each other, savouring the intensity. Much too soon, I
had to pull out again. And it was a closer call this
time. I didn't dare to go on and I told Annie.
'Hmm, I wonder what you would like to do then,' Annie
said, teasingly.
What we had just done changed something in me. I felt so
free and uninhibited.
'Well, I could let my tongue take over again,' I
suggested, knowing that it wasn't what she was thinking
of.
'I can't take any more right now,' she answered,
covering her crotch as I moved down.
Playfully, I tried to remove her hands. 'What if I want
to?' I asked in the same manner as she often did,
teasing me.
'Pleeeease. Maybe later, but I've already come twice,'
she begged.
'Promise?'
'Yes!'
'Okay. What do you want to do instead?' I asked.
We both knew what both she and I wanted. Her sweet, hot
mouth engulfed my dick and with a hunger almost as great
as the hunger I'd just had for her, she made me explode
in her mouth.
After that, we were both spent. I think we fell asleep.
I did. I woke up an hour later, warm on one side, the
side where Annie was cuddling on my shoulder and
freezing cold on the other. We put on some clothes and
went down to watch TV. I didn't try to make Annie live
up to her promise of letting me lick her again. Well, I
did, but not that night. We were flat out, bushed,
wasted.
***
I gained more confidence in myself after that evening.
It was easier to talk about it and sometimes take the
initiative, even though Annie usually was the one with
the new ideas. There was one girl in particular on her
gym team, who apparently supplied Annie with ideas. Her
name was Jane and she was a year or so older than us.
She had a steady boyfriend and from what Annie told me,
she was experienced, when it came to sex.
To the outside world, we tried to act as if nothing had
happened. We were considered as brother and sister by
almost anybody. We had the same surname, a fairly
unusual one too, we lived in the same house and looked
very much alike. It was reasonable for everyone to
assume we were siblings. Some even thought we were
twins.
Actually, we would have had to be, had we been brother
and sister. Our birthdays were only a couple of months
apart. The fact that we were cousins was almost
forgotten by everybody that knew it. I no longer felt
that we were doing was wrong, but our parents and our
classmates might see it differently. I think Annie had
the same reservations. We hadn't discussed it but we
never acted like lovers in the presence of others.
That didn't mean that we couldn't show affection, we
just had to conceal it. A casual touch, while walking
from one classroom, would go unnoticed, even if seen. To
us, it would feel almost as good as a hug or a kiss.
Sometimes, I really wanted to hug her or kiss her in the
middle of the day, but our secret caresses had to do.
Once we had tasted the forbidden fruit, there was no
turning back. Making love for real became an integrated
part of our bedtime love sessions. I had to be very
careful of course, but we had to do it, if only for a
few strokes, just to feel the closeness.
We would kiss and fondle until Annie was wet, usually a
little longer than that. Annie was very easy to excite
and, at times I would probably have been able to enter
her, almost before we had undressed. I would be in her
for as long as possible and then go down on her.
Sometimes, I would enter her again, before she took me
in her mouth, but we also found a new variation. I would
turn around to face her crotch and she would face mine.
That way, we could reach climax together. Annie's idea,
of course.
It was also Annie who wanted to be on top, a couple of
weeks later. I didn't protest. Especially not when she
began to move up and down, making her breasts bounce
every time she came down on me. It was wonderful but
Annie got carried away.
Annie had often urged me to go on a little longer, but I
rarely dared and when I did, it was never enough for her
to reach the point she wanted. This night was no
different. I warned her that she would have to get off,
but she didn't.
'Annie, I can't take much more. You have to get off
NOW,' I repeated, with a hint of panic in my voice.
'Please... just a little longer,' Annie gasped and
grounded her crotch hard against me.
'God no, Annie! I'm going to come in you. I can't, you
have to get off!' I hissed, now fully panicking.
'Just... Yes... I'm...'
'Noooo!' I cut her off and tried to throw her off, but
it was too late.
Annie's muscles clenched tight around my dick as she
finally reached the climax. In a daze of panic and
pleasure, I felt myself shoot those dangerous fluids
deep inside her womb. Annie must have felt it too.
Frightened, she jumped off and stared in disbelief at my
dick, shooting into the air.
It all happened very quickly. Annie began to cry and I
was very close to starting as well. Then she rushed to
the bathroom and began to try to wash the cum out of her
womb. She detached the showerhead and used the hose,
putting it inside her where my dick had been only
minutes before. Under different circumstances, I would
probably have found it very exciting, but now it looked
slightly frightening.
Later, all kinds of thoughts went through my head as I
tried to fall asleep. Annie couldn't have the baby, if
she had become pregnant. She would have to have an
abortion, but than we would have to tell mom and dad and
what would they say?
We talked about it again on the way to school the next
morning. Annie was convinced that she wasn't pregnant. I
don't know how she knew and I didn't question it. I
trusted Annie. I suppose I assumed that girls could feel
that kind of thing. It made me feel a whole lot better.
I still felt the knot in my stomach, when I thought
about it, but generally I was able to repress it.
Miraculously, it only took 4 days before Annie got her
thing again. She was highly irregular, but for once it
came too early. I was genuinely relieved, but it also
reinforced my strong belief in Annie.
Our sexual activities were back to normal as soon as
Annie had finished bleeding. While she was out of
action, her imagination ran wild again and we had some
very arousing games of confession. Her fantasies were
mainly about me teasing her with my fingers, lips and
tongue, driving her wild over and over again until
finally giving her orgasm. No intercourse, but then
again after what we had just been through, it wasn't all
that strange.
She had one other fantasy that came up the last evening
before she was ready again. As the other fantasies, I
had been teasing her endlessly. Annie was really
excited, not just in her fantasy. In her fantasy, I
finally turned her around on her hands and knees and
knelt behind her. While I caress her pussy and tits with
my hands, I enter her from behind, in the other hole.
The fantasy excited me a lot this time. I had fantasised
about it since she "confessed" it to me the first time
and this time, I dared to ask her after her confession,
if it was something she wanted to try.
'Annie? Do you really want me to put my dick in you...
you know, back there?'
'I-I...' Annie was still panting. 'If I were really
excited... I think... maybe,' she hesitated. 'Jane says,
if you use a lot of lube, it feels good,' she hesitated
again. 'She says... it might hurt a little... until you
get used to it. Do you think it's gross?'
'I don't know,' I replied, I think it's kind of...
exciting.'
'I-I'm a little afraid... because she said it would
hurt... and, well... it's kind of... dirty perhaps,'
Annie stopped for a moment. 'I...' she hesitated again,
for once sounding really timid. 'I tried... with a
finger in the shower one day and it felt kind of good
but... you're a lot bigger.'
'Maybe if we, you know... do it very slow like... you
know, if I'm very cautious?' the thought was more and
more appealing. 'I'll stop if it hurts.'
'Maybe, I don't know yet. I think I'll ask Jane again
about it.'
We were silent for a while.
'Dan?'
'Uhm.'
'You know, right now, I just want you so much. Can I...
come into bed with you, just to... you know. but not do
anything, just...'
'Yeah, of course,' I agreed immediately.
In a fraction of a second, Annie was in my bed, kissing
and groping. We were very excited after the confession
and the talk about doing it in the butt. Our hands were
frantically moving around, trying to touch as much as
possible. My hands were on Annie's buttocks, inside her
panties.
Panting, Annie broke the never-ending kiss we had
engaged in and began to kiss my chest instead. Her nails
scratched my skin lightly as she moved lower and lower.
Her tits brushed over my tummy and my very erect dick.
There wasn't much I could do, except put my hands on her
head and let my fingers get entangled in her thick, red
hair.
Annie stopped her kissing for a moment to make me spread
my legs. She knelt between my legs. Slowly, her hands
moved up my thighs to the crotch. Her face was only an
inch away from my dick. I could feel her rapid breath on
the exposed head. If her confession hadn't driven me
insane already, this would.
Her fingers delicately tickled my sack, moving the balls
around a little. One hand moved lower, touching the
sensitive skin between my balls and my butt. I tensed,
not used to being touched there, but it felt too good to
be uptight about it.
I was extremely excited, but Annie looked like she was
on some kind of drug. Her eyes were glazed and
flickering and her breathing short and fast. She looked
up and me while she slowly opened her mouth and extended
her tongue, touching the tip of my dick. It jerked and
throbbed at the light touch.
Annie didn't have the patience to continue slowly. Her
warm mouth engulfed my dick. Greedily, she sucked while
her head moved up and down. With her free hand, she
caressed her breasts. Sometimes, the hand disappeared,
but I couldn't see where it went. At this point, I
didn't bother. I was hardly able to think straight. My
brain was cluttered with what I saw and imaginative
images of Annie's confession. One second, I was seeing
my dick in her mouth, the next I was seeing it pressed
against her tiny, wrinkled entrance.
It was way too much. Fireworks exploded inside my brain
and spurts of hot cum shot into Annie's sucking mouth.
Annie purred excitedly around my dick and continued
sucking. I had to pull her off, when I was done and
couldn't take any more. She had swallowed it all and
looked very content. I was content too, although tired
and exhausted. We cuddled up for a few minutes, our
bodies glowing hot in the aftermath, before Annie
slipped away into her own bed.
-= 4 =-
We quickly forgot the near-pregnancy experience. There
was so much else to think about. The first preliminary
test before the final exam came in the beginning of
March and we had to spend more time, studying. It was
judgment day for Mark in particular. I had a fair idea
about how his father had persuaded the headmaster to let
Mark stay, after he "copied" Annie's English paper, but
I had no idea about how Mark managed to convince his
father that he was doing well in school. But he couldn't
hide the results of the test and I guess his father got
pretty upset.
It became the end of social life for Mark, at least
until after the final exams. His father hired a teacher
to try and put some of the missing knowledge into Mark's
thick head before final exams. Every afternoon, Mark
studied with his tutor and in the evening it was
homework, closely followed by his father. Mark was
furious and somehow he felt it was Annie's fault. He
hated her guts, but he couldn't do much about it. The
few times he tried to ridicule Annie, she crucified him
with her wits. So, of course, he still hated her.
Annie and I didn't have a social life the same way Mark
had, with friends and such. But kissing and cuddling in
the afternoon had to make way for homework and extra
studying. Sometimes, it was hard to concentrate on the
Napoleonic Wars or trigonometry, when Annie was sitting
at the same table. Her fragrance tried to lure me away
from the books, tried to distract me. Too often, it
succeeded, but Annie was very determined to do well on
the final exams and she blankly refused to do anything
but study together, until we went to bed in the evening.
But then she was as loving and wonderful as ever.
Even though caution became had become very important,
when we had real sex, it was close a few times. We both
badly wanted to let go. Unfortunately, we didn't have
access to any form of contraceptives and neither of us
dared to ask our parents. The fantasy about using
Annie's other hole was still there and excited us both,
but so far, Annie hadn't been up to it and I didn't want
to push her, no matter how much I wished she would do
it.
***
Spring was early and very warm that year. Late April was
sunny with summer temperatures. Sometimes, we could sit
in the garden and study in the afternoon. It made the
studying feel less tedious and that was much needed.
Only one of our teachers had some kind of understanding
about how stressful it was to prepare for the exam. He
was relatively young, at least compared to the rest of
the staff, who best could be described as museum pieces.
Maybe they weren't that old, but they had been at the
school since dinosaurs walked the surface of the earth.
A lot of them had been pupils at the school and after
they had finished their education, they had returned as
teachers.
I guess it maintained the "spirit" of the school,
keeping it as old-fashioned as it had always been. We
had reached an age where we suddenly realised how
ridiculous many of the rules and traditions of the
school were. One more year and we would probably have
rebelled against it too.
But there was one young teacher, who hadn't been a pupil
in our school and hadn't been there long enough to
assimilate the special "spirit" of the school. He was
very, very popular amongst the pupils and I assume he
was equally unpopular amongst his colleagues.
Anyway, this teacher seemed to understand the pressure.
Maybe he was young enough to remember. One day, at the
beginning of May, just before the exams began, he came
into the classroom, looking very serious.
'Class! We are approaching the final exam and you are
all studying hard. This lesson will be one of the most
important lessons you will ever receive from this school
and I want you to pay special attention. I know how your
brains are close to overload, but I think it will be
possible to cram in another important piece of
information.'
He sounded just like all the old teachers. It was
typical of the way they all started, when they wanted to
give us the lecture on why it was their particular
subject that was the most important subject of all.
However, it wasn't like him and, sure enough, he had
something up his sleeve.
'Throughout all your life, you will be facing situations
where pressure and stress will prevent you from thinking
straight and prevent you from doing the best you can.
There is one and only one cure for this. Pay attention,
ladies and gents, this is important stuff. You have to
learn to relax, disconnect the brain, give it a rest.
You need to learn to unwind completely for a few
minutes, for an hour, for as long as needed to let your
brain clear.
'This doesn't mean sleeping. In your sleep, your brain
is still busy, dreaming and working on the same problems
that you had before you went asleep. No, you have to be
awake and occupy yourself with something that doesn't
require too much of your brain, but preferably something
of your body. That way, your brain can concentrate on
your body mechanics and nothing else. So...' he opened a
large basket and took out a football, 'we are going to
spend this lesson learning that. I suggest a game of
soccer.'
A loud roar rose in the classroom. Everybody cheered,
even those girls who normally didn't do any kind of
physical exercise. The teacher hushed us.
'Quiet now. We don't want to attract too much attention.
I'm not sure my colleagues approve of my theory of
education. Now, let's all walk quietly to the sports
field.'
We calmed down as much as possible. I mean, it was a
little like taking the cap off a bottle of soda that you
have shaken intensively and then try to stop the flow.
But we managed to get to the field without causing too
much commotion.
The game was chaotic but fun. None of the girls were
used to playing soccer and just kicking the ball yielded
very unpredictable results. Still, the game served its
purpose up the point where Mark's team got a free kick.
Mark was to take the free kick. He was a brilliant
player with fantastic control over the ball. He would
usually score on a free kick at that distance. It was
fairly close to the goal and some of the players on our
team formed a wall, but it would probably be useless,
considering how good Mark was.
Annie was standing a little bit away from the others,
not in any way in a spot where it would be expected that
the ball would come. Mark stood for a second, before he
started his run. With the greatest precision and force
he could master, he sent the ball directly into Annie's
stomach. Considering where Annie was and where the goal
was, it was obvious that he had done it on purpose.
The force of the ball knocked Annie over and she
crumpled up in pain. I ran to her, everybody did.
'Got you, bitch!' I heard Mark say, triumphantly. While
a couple of the girls tried to get Annie up and make her
stretch out to ease the pain, I turned towards Mark. I
was furious and even though I had never engaged in
fighting, I was ready to smack him good. I was strong
enough to beat the hell out of him. He was a few feet
away and I looked at him. He was grinning, but suddenly,
his face changed. He looked like he had seen a ghost,
pale and frightened. He was looking at the scene behind
me and I turned to see what was wrong.
Annie was standing between two of the girls. Small
streams of blood were running down her thighs. I think I
heard somebody say they were going to get an ambulance.
If I was mad before, I was totally enraged now. I turned
towards Mark with the full intention of hurting him bad,
but he was gone. Then I looked down and there he was,
unconscious on the ground.
Since I was too late to beat him up, I turned my
attention to Annie. She was crying, obviously in pain
and it looked like she was seriously hurt. It took ages
for the ambulance to arrive. In all the confusion,
nobody noticed that Mark had passed out and when it was
all over, he was gone.
Our teacher thought it best if it was one of the girls
that went with her in the ambulance. I was to contact my
mother and then go to the hospital. When I got there,
mom was already there, sitting by Annie's bed. My
entrance in the room seemed to be the cue she had waited
for. She got up and said something about getting back to
work and that she would come around in the evening.
I took a chair and sat down next to Annie. She didn't
look that bad.
'So, are you okay?' I asked.
'Yes, I guess. Kind of. It still hurts a little, but
they say it will pass quickly,' Annie replied.
'When will you be sent home?'
'They'll keep me here tonight, just in case.'
'In case of what? What was the blood? What had
happened?' I asked, trying not to sound too worried.
'I was pregnant. The ball... I had a miscarriage,' Annie
said and took a deep breath. 'Don't worry, it's okay
now. It was just a bit of a shock.'
'You mean... but we haven't... I mean, we have been so
careful. What's mom going to say? Did you tell her?
What...' A million thoughts flew through my head. I was
terrified but also relieved in a strange way. What on
earth would have happened if Mark hadn't kicked the
ball, if Annie hadn't aborted?
'She was more concerned about why we were playing
soccer, when we were supposed to be studying for the
final exams. All she said was that she thought I'd
better get on the pill. She didn't even ask who the
father was.' Annie replied, sarcastically.
I was shocked. I think I wanted to say something, I just
didn't know what. I didn't know how to handle this. I
was confused, frightened and still I knew it was Annie
that was in trouble, not really me. I mean, she was the
one that was, or rather had been, pregnant. I was
supposed to help her, comfort her, do something and I
couldn't. I was depending on her to be strong. She was
always the one that knew what to do. I guess I was too
concerned about her pregnancy to question mom's
reaction. I was kind of pleased about her indifference.
'Don't worry, it's all right,' Annie said, sensing my
desperation. 'The problem is solved and nobody will ever
know anything about it. If I get on the pill, we won't
have to worry about that anymore.'
'Annie, I don't know what I would do without you.'
Annie giggled.
'You wouldn't have got into this situation.'
'It's my fault too. But you... you can handle it. I...'
'You could too, if you had to.'
'I love you Annie.'
'I love you too.'
I wanted to hug her, to kiss her and hold her really
tight, but a nurse came in to check on something. I held
her hand and gave it a little extra squeeze. Annie
smiled. She was so strong.
***
Annie came home the next day, but she stayed at home a
few days, before she returned to school. I was a little
surprised at how easily she got over it.
Mark somehow managed to avoid being expelled from
school. I guess his father had a way of convincing the
headmaster. Personally, I think Mark would have
preferred to stay away. The headmaster gave him a public
scolding the next day and really humiliated Mark. In
class, he was left out, socially. Everybody ignored him.
Still, the final exam was a fortnight away.
Annie got over the whole thing very quickly, but she
became more moody. Maybe it was the pill that did it.
She was sometimes depressed and she developed a temper
she hadn't had before.
We had a wonderful summer together. We didn't have to
worry about pregnancy anymore and we had the whole of
each weekday to ourselves. We could indulge in each
other for hours, physically and mentally, just the two
of us.
Most of the time, Annie was as happy as I was, but
sometimes she would get depressed. I tried to find out
why, but she wouldn't tell me. She said she didn't know
why, it just happened. It was probably the pill, but she
didn't want to stop taking them and have to worry about
pregnancy again.
When summer holidays were over, we started at high
school. After our summer together, it was hard to go
back to the old ways of having to hide our love all day.
But we still didn't dare to show our love publicly.
Actually, it was me that didn't dare. Annie didn't care
that much, but then again, my parents weren't her
parents.
Apart from that it was great. School was closer to home
and we could actually begin to see some of our
classmates after school. It meant that we saw less of
each other during the afternoon and evening, but that
didn't matter too much. We still had each other at
bedtime.
Troubles began when we were at our first school party.
It was very different from the few school parties in
elementary school. We could buy beer, there was a band
playing and the teachers participated, instead of acting
as moral policemen if a boy and a girl were dancing too
close. Here, people danced as close as they wanted to.
Compared to what we were used to, this was either Sodom
and Gomorra or heaven, depending on which way you looked
at it. To us it was heaven.
Annie loved parties and dancing and she danced a lot,
particularly with one boy from her class. I danced a
little, but I didn't really want to. I wanted to dance
with Annie. Seeing her dance close together with Anton
made me jealous.
I was angry and sad when we walked home. Annie was
beaming, talking about how wonderful the party had been.
It took a long time before she noticed my silence.
'What's the matter? Didn't you have a good time?' she
asked.
'Anton did, I'm sure,' I answered, gloomy.
'Come on. We just danced. I am allowed to enjoy myself,
am I not?' Annie replied, slightly offended.
'Sure, go ahead and enjoy yourself.'
'You don't own me and since you won't dance with me, I
have to dance with somebody else.'
'Go ahead then. What do I care!'
I cared, a lot. But I was so jealous and angry. I felt
that Annie had let me down. Somewhere in the back of my
mind, I think I knew she was right, but that didn't make
it easier.
'Come on. I didn't mean it like that,' Annie said,
trying to make up.
But I was too jealous.
'I think we should take a break and start seeing other
people, if that's what you want.'
'I don't, I just want to have a little fun.'
'Sure. Then I can sit and wait for you, while you have
your fun.'
I knew it was a mean thing to say. I wished I hadn't.
'OK, if that's the way you want it,' Annie answered,
angrily.
That night the door between our rooms was locked for the
first time.
***
The next day we both felt bad about what had happened
and we made up. But we also agreed that it would be good
for both of us to see other people. Deep down inside, I
didn't want to see anybody but Annie apparently had a
need to try something different.
I accepted it. I accepted that she saw more and more of
Anton. I accepted it because I didn't' want to lose her.
Our life continued. Not much changed. Gradually, I
learned to live with the idea of Anton. I still had
Annie in the evening and that was better than nothing.
At the next party, Annie was with Anton all evening. I
spent most of the evening with the boys from my class,
listening to the music and drinking beer. It wasn't too
bad. A girl from my class, Camilla, came and asked me to
dance a couple of times, but I really didn't feel like
dancing at all. Well, I guess I did, but I wanted to
dance with Annie. I was still jealous.
About a week later, something happened that suddenly
made Anton and parties unimportant, at least for a
while. Dad came unexpectedly home from work at 3 in the
afternoon, looking very worried.
'Annie, I've just got a call from your mom. You father
is ill. He collapsed yesterday at work and was taken to
a hospital. They have transferred him to another
hospital, in Hong Kong. They are still examining him to
determine what is wrong.'
Dad took a deep breath.
'I've book a ticket for you. I think you should pack and
then I'll drive you to the airport. The plane for
Frankfurt leaves in two hours,' he added, quietly.
Annie still hadn't forgiven her mother, but uncle Paul
called her on a regular basis. In the beginning, she
refused to talk to him, but after a few months, she gave
in. I think she missed him.
'Is it serious?' Annie asked, fighting to hold back the
tears.
'I don't know, Annie. Your mother didn't know. I tried
to call the hospital, but they couldn't say anything
either. I think you should go. It might be nothing, but
if you stay here and it turns out to be serious, you'll
regret it.'
'I'll go pack,' Annie said and rushed out of the room.
'I'll help you,' I said, running after her.
I caught up with Annie in her room and hugged her while
she cried. After a couple of minutes, she had calmed
down and was able to speak again.
'He... he better be well when I get there,' Annie said,
smiling weakly. 'If not, I'll kill him.'
'He'll probably be picking you up at the airport, when
you arrive,' I said, trying to sound optimistic.
'I hope so,' Annie replied, quietly.
We packed a suitcase for Annie. She didn't know how long
she was going to stay and just to make sure she had
enough clothes, she packed what looked like the entire
content of her wardrobe. When we had finished, she
couldn't lift the suitcase and we had to go through it
all one more time and take a few expendable things out.
It was still heavy, but at least she could handle it.
The packing gave Annie a little break and a chance to
gather her thoughts. She wasn't happy, when we drove off
to the airport with dad, but she wasn't completely
devastated either. We helped her check in and said
goodbye. I hugged her. We were both on the brink of
tears, but managed to hold them back.
It was a long trip, almost 20 hours, including the
change of planes in Frankfurt and the stop in Singapore.
It felt equally long for me, waiting to hear from her.
She had promised to call as soon after she had landed as
possible. While I waited, I began thinking about the
trip. I would have been terrified, if it had been me. I
mean, changing planes in Frankfurt, all alone. I had
heard dad tell her what to do with the luggage. How to
get it in Frankfurt and check it in again for the plane
to Hong Kong. Just the thought of all the things that
could go wrong scared me, but Annie could handle
everything. Nothing seemed to bother her.
Finally, almost 24 hours later, Annie called. Mom talked
to her first and then I got the chance. It was a short
conversation, but uncle Paul wasn't terminally ill. It
was a bleeding stomach ulcer. He had been operated on
and was, everything considered, in great condition.
Annie only stayed 3 days, but with the time spent
travelling, she was gone almost 5 days. I was out the
second time she called, so I didn't get a chance to talk
to her again, before she returned. She arrived back in
the morning, after I had gone to school. I had tried to
convince dad that it would be a good idea, if I went
with him to the airport to picked up Annie, but he said
Annie would be tired and that I just wanted an excuse
for skipping school that day.
He was right about Annie being tired. She had gone
straight to bed and was still sleeping, when I came home
from school. Mom woke her up for dinner, but even then
she was very tired and very quiet. We all wanted to know
how the trip had been, how uncle Paul was doing, in
short: everything. Annie answered with little detail,
but I assumed it was because she was so tired after the
long trip. Still, I feared that her visit hadn't been
all that pleasant.
She stayed up until ten, when we both went to bed. I had
expected that she would be too tired to make love, but I
was wrong. Annie didn't shower, because she had showered
just before we ate dinner. When I came out from my
shower, she had arranged our duvets on the floor and was
lying on them, waiting for me. I was surprised,
pleasantly surprised. I had missed her immensely. Not
just making love to her. I mean, we couldn't make love,
when she had her period, but it was the physical
closeness. Even when she had her period, we would cuddle
and caress each other and that was what I had missed the
most. I guess that's the difference between loving and
making love to somebody.
We didn't talk at all. With a growing intensity, we
caressed each other. Annie was more passionate than
usual, almost craving my caresses. She pressed my head
against her pussy and my hands against her breasts. When
the time came for me to penetrate her, she pushed me
over and straddled me, sliding down over my stomach. She
left a wet trail, a little like a snail. I thought I
could feel her clitoris against my skin, but it was
probably my imagination. She was very aroused. Reaching
behind herself, she guided me into her cave. In one long
motion, I filled her completely.
Even though Annie moved very slowly, it was so intense.
She ground herself against me, sitting upright. I
kneaded her breasts and she rotated her hips faster and
faster until she reached her climax and began bouncing
up and down. I was already on the verge of exploding. I
pulled her down to me. I wanted her close to me, wanted
to hug her so tight. At a maddening pace, I trusted into
her until I couldn't hold it back any longer. It was
really intense.
Afterwards, we lay in silence for a long time. It was
then, Annie began to talk about her trip.
'Mom was supposed to pick me up at the airport, but she
wasn't there. I had to find my way to the hotel myself.
Your father had arranged for me to stay at the same
hotel. When I got there, I tried to phone her room, but
she wasn't there. I was worried sick that dad's
situation had turn worse and I rushed to the hospital.'
She sounded as if it was hard for her to tell me this,
so I didn't interrupt her, just listened.
'Dad was OK and it looked like he was happy to see me.
Mom wasn't at the hospital either. It was so awkward,
because I didn't dare ask him where mom was and he
didn't dare say, but we both knew she was out drinking.
I don't know why, we just knew it. I mean, I told dad I
had rushed from the airport to the hotel and then to the
hospital and he didn't ask if I had seen mom.'
Annie shifted, laying her head on my chest.
'Dad, we talked about him and me and he kept telling me
how good it was that I was living here. I mean, he was
happy to see me and all, but sometimes it sounded as if
it was better I hadn't visited him. Anyway, I met mom
back at the hotel. I tried her room again, but she
wasn't there. I was going out to take a look at the city
and get something to eat and for some reason, I went
into the hotel bar. There was mom.'
Annie took a deep breath.
'She looked so... old. She looked like someone who had
scrubbed floors for 40 years. She looked worn out. Her
eyes had no life at all. She was so thin.' Annie sounded
weak and distressed. 'She was drunk and began whining
about how happy she was to see me. It didn't take long
though. Then she went on about how terrible it was that
I was living here and how much she missed me and that
she had to drink to stand it.
"The next second she claimed she was sober and had just
had a single drink, before she was going to see dad at
the hospital. I didn't say anything. I mean, I knew we
would start fighting if I did. Mom didn't care. She just
babbled about herself. She was so... god, she was a
sorry sight. She wasn't my mom. She was... she was some
drunk woman in a hotel bar. She didn't even look like my
mother used to. I don't think she noticed it, when I
left.'
Annie sniffled, but she didn't really cry.
'I didn't visit the hotel bar again and I didn't see her
again. I couldn't stand the thought of her, looking like
she did.' Annie paused and added, bitterly: 'She was
much too busy feeling sorry for herself, anyway.'
Annie needed a break. I hugged her and we lay in silence
for a minute or two.
'I told dad about it the next day. He didn't say much.
It was like he didn't want to talk about it. He more or
less suggested that I go back right away. I didn't want
to. I wanted to see him and talk to him. So I stayed. I
visited him a couple of hours in the morning and a
couple of hours in the afternoon.
'In the evening, I just walked around. They have some
great markets there. It was good walking around and
looking at all the stuff they were selling. I didn't get
back to the hotel until midnight.'
'You walked around all alone in the middle of the
night?' I asked, probably sounding terrified.
'It's not dangerous at all. I think it is the safest
place to be in the world. I don't' know why, it's just
safe. Nothing happens. And it's really funny. There's so
much to look at. The restaurants have all kinds of live
fish and shellfish and all sort of things in buckets and
containers out in front. You can choose what you want to
eat and then they prepare it for you.'
Annie suddenly sounded much happier.
'And the markets are so interesting. You can buy
anything: watches, designer clothing, electronics,
everything and it's really cheap.' Annie got up. 'Hang
on a sec. I got something for you.'
When she got up, her pussy began to leak and she had to
go to the toilet first to clean up a bit. Then she went
to her room and shuffled around in her still unpacked
suitcase. She came back with a little box.
'Here, this is for you,' she said and handed me the box.
I opened it and it was a watch. A Rolex. Here, it would
cost a fortune.
'God Annie, thanks. How could you afford that?' I asked,
flabbergasted.
'Don't get too excited. It's a copy. Everything they
sell in these markets is a copy. They're really good at
it. It's almost impossible to tell. I looked in some of
the real shops and it looks exactly like the real
thing,' Annie said, giggling excited at my reaction.
'Thanks Annie. It's really great,' I said and gave her a
kiss.
We cuddled up really close again. It was so wonderful to
have her back again. I'd forgotten all about Anton. It
was just us, but only until the next day, when we were
back in school. Then we were back to normal.
***
I hadn't really noticed Camilla before. She was the
quiet kind in school and in between classes, she was
always with two of the other girls in class. But all of
a sudden, she seemed to be wherever I was, all the time.
We began to talk a little, at first out of politeness
until I realised that it wasn't sheer coincidence that
she always happened to be there.
She was a pretty girl and as time passed, I began to
find her more and more attractive. She wasn't Annie, but
maybe Annie did have a point about seeing others.
At the next party, I danced with her. I forgot to look
for Annie and Anton all the time. It was good. A lot
better than it had been for a long time. We danced close
and kissed. Camilla was only the second girl I had ever
kissed. It wasn't like kissing Annie, but I couldn't say
that it was better or worse, just different. Her
fragrance was different and she felt different.
I hardly noticed when I saw Anton out of the corner of
my eye, walking towards the door, hand in hand with a
girl. I remember that I wondered who it was. It wasn't
Annie.
I didn't see Annie before we were going to leave. I had
kissed Camilla goodbye and there was Annie, alone. I
suddenly remembered seeing Anton leaving. Annie didn't
look happy at all. We began to walk home in silence. It
was November and a cold wind sweet through the streets.
'So, what happened,' I finally said.
'What do you care? You were all entangled in Camilla all
evening,' Annie replied.
'Sorry. You know I care.'
'Anton ...He got tired of waiting,' she said.
'What do you mean, waiting?' I asked, puzzled.
'He wanted to have sex with me and I didn't. And then
you and that... that Camilla are suddenly all over each
other. I thought you loved me,' Annie sobbed.
I put my arms around her but she pushed me away. 'But we
didn't...' I started but Annie cut me off.
'You would have, wouldn't you? Your hands were all over
her.'
I hadn't realised that Annie had watched us so closely.
'Annie, we just...'
'You just kissed and groped all evening.'
I didn't understand it. I didn't understand what I had
done wrong. I mean, she and Anton had danced and kissed.
I thought they had been together sexually too, but I was
obviously wrong. Still, I hadn't done anything with
Camilla either.
Annie was very upset and unhappy and I assumed it was
over Anton leaving her more than me kissing Camilla. We
walked the rest of the way home and went to bed in
silence.
***
Saturday morning, Annie slept late. I was going over to
one of my classmates to do some homework and mom was
going to work for a few hours. Dad was out playing golf
with some customer and wouldn't be home until late
afternoon, but mom and I agreed to be home around noon.
I got home at half past twelve. I didn't pay any
attention to the ambulance as I came down our street. It
wasn't until I got into the house that I felt that
something was wrong. The silence.
I found the note from mom on the console in the hall.
'Taking Annie to the hospital. Mom'
I can't remember if I closed the door behind me, but I
think I did. The first taxi stopped and picked me up. I
would have gotten to the hospital whether he had stopped
or not, because I stepped out in front of him. I think
the driver could feel the urgency. We speeded towards
the hospital and got there in no time at all, even
though it felt like we were driving in heavy traffic on
a dead end street all the time.
She hadn't been registered when I arrived, but the
receptionist sent me to the emergency room. I found mom
in the waiting room. Her eyes were red from crying and
she looked very shaken.
'What's happened? Where's Annie? Is she okay?' I asked,
frightened.
I can't really recall the conversation we had. It's all
kind of blurred in my mind.
'She... She cut her wrists.'
'How?'
'She tried to commit suicide,' mom whispered.
It hit me like a ton of bricks.
'What? She...' I gasped, unable to believe I had heard
her right.
'She drank some vodka and cut her wrists.'
'Is she...?' I almost couldn't say the words. It
couldn't be true. It just couldn't.
'She was conscious when we got here. I don't know how
much blood,' mom wept and had to take a deep breath.
'She said that nobody loved her anyway. Oh God, I was
never good at being a mother. I should have spent more
time with the two of you. I'm...'
'You're okay mom. It's not your fault. Anton broke up
with her last night,' I said, trying to comfort her.
'I should have been there for her to talk instead of
going to work. I could feel she was unhappy this
morning. I should have talked to her.'
'I think I'm to blame too,' I said, not really wanting
to.
Mom looked up at me, puzzled. For a few seconds, she
looked questionably at me. Then it came to her.
'Oh my god. Annie's miscarriage. You mean... but Anton?'
'He was just, I mean, even though we are just cousins
and it is okay to, you know... I didn't want to... I
didn't dare... to show...' I think I began to cry too.
It took a little while before I was able to speak again.
'She is going to be okay?' I asked, anxiously.
'She is. She has to be.'
A very tired looking doctor came out of a room and
headed towards us. It felt as if my heart stopped. He
looked so tired and sad.
'Annie Hansen's mother?' he asked.
'Is she okay?' we both asked.
'She's fine. She's a little drunk still, but she's fine.
She didn't cut deep enough to do any damage. I don't
think she meant to kill herself. It was more like a cry
for help. Young people often do that. She'll be fine.'
The doctor took a deep breath. 'She claims she wants to
go home. Unless you want to commit her to psychiatric
care, we can't keep her. We gave her something to calm
her down and, if you decide to take her home with you, I
would recommend that she see a psychiatrist.'
'We will take care of her. Can we see her?' mom suddenly
sounded so strong and determined.
'She's in there,' the doctor pointed to the door he had
just come out of.
We rushed into the room. Annie looked pale and drowsy. I
don't know if it was the medication or the vodka. She
looked up at us, seeing our tear-filled eyes. Later I
realised that it was the first time Annie had seen me
cry.
'I'm sorry,' she whispered and began to cry too.
I was the fastest. I leaned over her and hugged her. We
cried together for a long time, just holding each other.
Even if I had known what to say, I wouldn't have been
able to speak. I was so shocked that she had tried to
take her own life and so relieved that she was all
right.
When I let go of her, mom, who was standing next to me,
leaned over and hugged Annie. It took a while before any
of us was ready to speak. The word "why" was never said
out loud, but Annie began to explain.
'I felt lonely. Nobody cared anymore,' she sobbed.
'But we do care. We all care,' mom interrupted.
'When you, when I had the miscarriage, you were... so
indifferent. You just said that I should go on the pill.
You never asked about anything, and I needed to talk
but...'
'I'm so sorry. I just... I mean, I felt so sorry for
you, with your mother and all you have been through. I
didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable. I just
wanted to make it easy for you. I thought you would ask
if...' mom's eyes flooded again. 'I'm a sorry excuse for
a mother.'
'It just felt so... like you didn't care...'
'I guess I've become too good at hiding my feelings,'
mom said and tried to smile. 'But I really do care about
you.'
Dad suddenly came through the door.
'Thank God you're ok!!' He burst out.
There was a lot of talk, a lot of tears and regrets. In
the end, we all went home. Annie was tired and drugged
and she was put to bed. I sat next to her bed all
afternoon. She woke a few times, but she was too tired
to really wake up. She just looked and me and smiled
weakly, before she fell asleep again. I ate my supper in
the room and moved my mattress into Annie's room to
sleep next to her. I didn't want her to wake up alone.
It gave me time to think. Everything that happened in
the hospital was so confusing and I hadn't had time to
think. I still can't remember much about what really
happened, from when I saw mom's note until we were back
from the hospital. But sitting there next to Annie's bed
gave me time to think about everything.
I suddenly realised that she couldn't handle everything.
She had looked so fragile, lying in the hospital bed. I
knew I had to be there to help her now. I didn't know
how, but I felt as if I was growing. I had to be strong.
I had to, because Annie needed me. I woke several times
during the night. I woke with a fear that Annie was dead
and, each time, I had to touch her to make sure she was
really alive.
I wanted to tell Annie how much I loved her. I did, the
few times she woke up and I promised myself to tell her
every day from now on. I don't know why it had been so
hard to say before. Maybe it hadn't been; maybe I just
hadn't thought about how much it meant to Annie. I mean,
we all love her and I guess we all thought she knew
that. I would hold hands with her in school, I would
kiss her. I would show everybody that I loved her. She
was never again going to doubt that she was loved, ever.
I knew it was going to take some time to get her back on
her feet again. I tried not to think about it that way.
Sitting there next to her, I imagine that she would wake
up and be her old self, like she had always been, but
deep down inside I knew she couldn't just go back to the
old ways. Too much had happened. We would have to start
over again, not from the beginning, but some things
would have to be rebuilt.
However, that was tomorrow. As the night fell, I was so
content just sitting next to her, just being there, in
case she woke up and needed me. Everything else could
wait until morning. It was going to be better. I
wouldn't have it any other way!
-= 5 =-
The next couple of days were difficult, but in a way
they were good too. A lot of things happened, a lot of
new things. We all changed and I guess we learned a lot
too; about ourselves and each other.
Mom and dad were there. Not that they hadn't always been
there, even though it might have sounded like they
weren't. They had been there, but for the first time
they tried to involve themselves in Annie's feeling and
mine.
Mom was at least partially right, when she said she had
been too good at hiding her feelings. But both mom and
dad tried now. They tried to understand what had
happened and why. So did I.
***
Sunday was a strange day. Of course, we were all
terribly worried about Annie and her state of mind. We
tried our best to treat her with all the love we could
master. In that respect, we did really well. But it was
still a very tense atmosphere. I didn't know how to
approach the whole situation; the suicide and Annie's
mental state. I don't think mom and dad knew what to do
either. It was all terribly awkward at times.
On Monday, the bubble burst. In the middle of lunch,
Annie suddenly stopped mom in a middle of the very
neutral conversation we'd had all day.
'Please stop,' Annie said, sounding tired. 'I can't take
this beating around the bush. I tried to commit suicide
and I don't want you to act like it never happened. I
need to talk about it and I think you do too.'
'I'm sorry, Annie,' mom answered, 'but I think you are
the one that has to start the conversation. I think we
all are on thin ice here and terribly scared of hurting
you again. Don't misunderstand me, I'm not afraid of
talking about it, I just don't know what to say.'
'I guess you're right. I just don't know how to begin
either. I mean, you're the adults... you... I want to
talk about it. I want to explain but, I don't want... I
don't want you all to be sad or feel guilty. I've
thought a lot about it and there were a lot of different
things getting me down... but... I guess most of it was
myself, overreacting.'
'Annie,' dad said and reached over the table to take
Annie's hand. 'Maybe you overreacted, maybe you should
have said something, but you're alive and the important
thing here is to make sure you don't get there again.
That doesn't mean we don't want to talk about what made
you feel that way. But don't start feeling guilty about
what happened. You've had a hard time and we haven't
been the best help for you.
'It's not because we don't want to help you. You have
always seemed to be able to cope with your life and I
guess it was too easy for us to assume that everything
was fine as long as you didn't say anything. It was our
fault. I wish I could do it all over again and do it
right. But it's no good now and it serves no purpose to
blame myself for what happened, either. We all had our
part in it and we will all help you back on your feet.'
Annie's eyes filled with tears.
'I know I should have said something,' she whispered,
'but... I don't know... I'm so confused. I just don't
want to go on like... like being some kind of freak, a
mental case. I want to talk about it and I do want to
get beyond it. I want...'
Annie gave up trying to explain. Mom took over. Her
voice was thick.
'You're not a freak Annie and we can talk about it as
much as you want. I think it's difficult in the
beginning, but we'll all learn.'
I wanted to say something too; I just didn't know what
to say. Instead, I took Annie's hand, the one dad wasn't
holding, and squeezed it lightly. Annie let go of dad's
hand and got up. I was about to get up too, thinking
Annie wanted to go up to her room. She stopped me and
sat down on my lap, burying her face in my neck. I put
my arms around her shaking body and she cried; really
crying.
I suddenly felt so strong. I held her, whispering
comforting words in her ear. Just like mom used to do
when I was little and I had fallen and hurt my knee.
I'd never seen dad cry, but I'm sure he wiped a tear off
his cheek, when I looked over at him. I couldn't see
mom, but her eyes were red, when Annie finally calmed
and lifted her face from my shoulder.
'I'm sorry,' Annie said.
'Don't be,' I answered, soothing. 'It helps to cry,
right mom?'
'It does,' mom said smiling, almost starting to cry
again.
It did. Not so much to cry, but it helped to talk, to
get it out in the open. We talked and there were lots to
talk about. Gradually, we all began to come to terms
with Annie's suicide attempt, but there were other
problems that needed to be tackled.
Annie was tired for some time after the suicide attempt.
She had lost a lot of blood and it took some time to
regenerate it. If she got up too quickly, she would get
dizzy and she couldn't take much physical strain. The
first week, she stayed at home, but she didn't want to
miss too much school and, by the second week, she felt
she had to go to school.
Physically, she wasn't really up to it, but Annie
insisted. She wanted to go to school. We discussed it,
mom, dad, Annie and me. Annie and I weren't in the same
class, so I couldn't be there all the time to help her.
If she wanted to go to school so soon, she would have to
explain her condition to her classmates and the
teachers. Dad tried to come up with a suitable excuse,
but Annie had already thought about it.
'No, I'm going to tell it like it is,' she said. 'I
might be able to explain why I'm so tired and all, but
it will be bloody hard to explain the bandages on my
wrists. I might as well get it out in the open. It
worked pretty well here didn't it?' She added with a
grin.
'Do you think that's a good idea?' mom asked a little
worried.
I don't know what worried mom most, Annie's reputation
or her mental state.
'Yes, I think it's better than trying to hide it.
Somebody is bound to guess it anyway and then the gossip
will start.' Annie said.
'You're right, but don't expect it to be easy. A lot of
your friends and classmates will probably find it very
difficult and embarrassing,' dad said.
Annie hesitated, 'I know but it's still better than
hearing the whispering in the corners and the odd looks.
I'll face it, I have to,' she said, determined.
Annie was tense when dad drove us to school Monday
morning. He and Annie had spoken with her teacher on
Sunday. Dad asked if Annie wanted to wait. Annie had
always been stubborn and this was no exception. She was
nervous but she was determined to go through with it. I
offered to be with her and be there, while she told
them, but she declined. Maybe, it was more for my own
sake than hers. I don't really know what I could have
done.
Annie looked much more relaxed, when I saw her again
after the first class.
'How did it go? How did they take it?' I wanted to know.
'It was a little difficult but I did it and everybody
was so sweet. I mean, when I'd explain what had happened
and all, I told them what dad had said. You know, that I
knew that they might feel uncomfortable about it and
they didn't have to, you know, be afraid to talk about
it, but it would be ok if they didn't, too,' she said
and hesitated a little. 'And they kind of... you know,
they all hugged me and I began to cry. It was good. I
mean, I know it's not over yet, but right now, it feels
like I've done the right thing. I'm sure I have.'
We embraced and kissed deeply. I didn't think about it
until later, but it was the first time we'd done that in
public. It was a relief not to have to tell a lot of
lies about what had happened to Annie. However, even
though it went well the first day, there were a few
incidents later. One of them was concerning Anton.
He was a senior and I didn't really know him, but one of
the guys on my gym team did. He told me Anton had been
really upset, when he found out about Annie's suicide
attempt. He didn't know how to handle it. Maybe he felt
guilty. At first, he avoided Annie. Perhaps she should
have taken the initiative and talked to him, but they
never got around to talking. After a while, Anton began
to act really shitty, telling everybody that Annie had
tried to kill herself, because he had broken up with
her. He acted as if he was proud of it. I think that was
the one incident that hurt Annie the most.
I had one problem of my own. Considering what Annie had
done, I felt really bad about having to tell Camilla
that it only had been a little flirt. I mean, I knew she
was fond of me and we had been a little intimate at the
party, even though we weren't going steady or anything
like that.
I hadn't had time to think about it over the weekend, so
I faced the problem Monday morning, completely
unprepared. I was blushing and stuttering, when
suddenly, I was face to face with Camilla. I did manage
to tell her that we couldn't see each other but we still
could be friends but it was so embarrassing and felt
like it took ages. She didn't get mad or upset, thank
God, but we didn't talk very much afterwards.
It was as if Annie's mental restitution was over faster
than the physical. It probably really wasn't like that;
even though her spirits were considerably lifted, once
she was back in school and the first week had passed.
Regenerating the lost blood took time. She had to take
it easy for several weeks. No gymnastics, no physical
training and lots of sleep. That also meant no sex. The
doctor told her it would take three months, before she
was back to normal. Since she was in good shape, she
could slowly start gymnastics training after six weeks,
if she felt up to it. Annie had kind of assumed that it
was the same, when it came to sex. She hadn't dared ask.
Funny, but it didn't matter all that much the first
couple of weeks. We would sleep together in her bed or
mine, trying not to push each other out of the narrow
beds. We could have moved one of the beds, putting them
together in one room, but somehow we didn't want to do
that. Mom and dad still had to get used to us as a
couple, not siblings and even though they never said
anything, I think it affected us. I mean, they knew we
had had sex, at least mom did, but it was never
mentioned.
***
After 5 weeks, our lust began to grow. The closeness was
good and we enjoyed lying naked together, but it was a
long time and, as Annie felt better and better, she also
began to feel the need to do more than just lie
together. I had felt the urge a lot earlier than that,
but I didn't try to push it. I mean, the first night I
was lying naked next to Annie, my dick reacted
immediately, even though I hadn't as much as considered
doing anything. I had explained to her that it was kind
of a reflex reaction and she was kind of flattered that
she had that effect on me.
We began to talk about the "deadline", the day we could
have sex again. We planned it a week ahead. Annie was
already feeling up to it, but she didn't dare start
before the six weeks had passed.
'Saturday,' Annie said, lying with her back to me like
spoons, my erect dick nestling between her buttocks.
'Do you think you can wait?' I teased her, having
detected a hint of arousal in her voice.
'I have to. But next time I try to commit suicide, I'll
use pills or something. Then I won't have to wait so
long afterwards,' she joked.
'Don't even considered it! I'll kill you if you try
again!' I replied in the same tone.
Annie took a deep breath. 'It's just six more days,' she
said, with more than a hint of excitement in her voice.
'Yeah, six days!' I repeated, my dick twitching
involuntarily between her buttocks. We lay in silence
for a while.
'Dan?' Annie asked.
'Uh-Huh,' I mumbled, sleepy.
'It will be something special? Kind of the first time,
officially. You know, as a real couple?' she said.
'Uh-Huh,' I mumbled again.
'I want it to be special. I want it to be something to
remember,' Annie said and turned to face me.
'What do you mean?' I asked and opened my eyes.
'I wanted to ask you... I mean, if you don't want to,
it's ok... if you don't think it's... proper,' Annie
said.
'You know I will do anything you ask,' I said,
reassuringly.
'I know, I mean... I only want to do it if you want to
too,' she said, flustered.
'What is it?' I asked, very awake.
'I would like to try... you know, what we'd... I was
fantasising about, I mean...' Annie was, for once, timid
but finally she came around to it. 'I want to try to
take you... from behind... you know, in the bum.'
'Are you sure?' I asked surprised, having discarded any
thoughts of that a long time ago, thinking Annie didn't
want to do it.
'Yes but you have to help me prepare and... I mean, I'll
wash very carefully and all but... I don't know if...
Jane says it isn't dirty but... do you think it's
disgusting?' Annie asked.
'No,' I said, 'I've been fantasising about it sometimes
after we talked about it.'
'It will be a little like... like losing my virginity,'
Annie said, more composed now. 'I want to lose it with
you. I mean, you were my first and the only one, but I
had broken the seal myself.'
'How?' I asked. I had assumed it had broken during
gymnastics or something like that.
'I got a little carried away one day and I did it with
my fingers.'
It was funny, but she seemed much more at ease, talking
about masturbating than asking if I wanted to make love
to her from behind. In a way, I found that a little
strange. And, at that instant, I was more interested in
the latter.
'Do you really want to do it?' I asked again.
'Yes, if you want to. You have to be gentle and help me
prepare for it. I talked to Jane... after we... you
know, and she said that you would have to use a finger
first and then two to help me get used to having
something in me.'
'I'll do anything you ask me. I don't want to hurt you,'
I said, reassuringly.
'I know you don't. Jane said that if I was well prepared
and relaxed, it wouldn't hurt at all; it would feel so
good.' Annie said, sounding quite enthusiastic.
'I'm ready,' I said.
'So am I,' Annie sighed, 'but we have to wait until
Saturday. The doctor said six weeks. We better go to
sleep now.'
'I think that is easier said than done,' I moaned.
'You want me to go into my own bed?' Annie asked,
probably joking.
'No way,' I said and pulled her closer to me.
We did fall asleep, of course. But the next six days
were really hard to get through. We talked about it
every night. I had to masturbate every day, sometimes
twice. I don't know how Annie kept herself from
exploding. On Saturday, I don't think my dick was soft
for more than an hour, max.
By a stroke of luck, my parents were going out that
Saturday. They were going to leave at six o'clock and,
as soon as they were out the door, I was ready.
'I need to wash first,' Annie said and wriggled herself
out of my arms after the first kiss.
'Okay,' I said, very aroused. 'I'll be waiting.'
I had already showered. I took off my clothes and
proceed to arrange the mattresses on the floor and take
the lid off the Vaseline. I felt like she was showering
for hours but finally she came out from the bathroom.
She blushed all the way down to her breasts, when she
saw me.
'I'm very clean now,' she said, blushing a very deep red
colour.
'You are so beautiful!' It blurted out of me, but I
really meant it. She was so beautiful.
'I love you so much,' I added.
'I love you too,' Annie said and nestled close to me.
We kissed and I guided her down on the mattresses. In
spite of our (at least mine) urge to get on with it, we
took time to just feel each other, kissing and letting
our hands explore. We rediscovered each other. The past
six weeks, we had touched each other, but we had
subconsciously avoided exciting each other. I don't
think Annie had touched my dick with her hands once and
I hadn't touched her breasts or pussy with my hands.
Now, we could do it. Annie was very wet, when my fingers
reached her pussy.
'I think you forgot to use the towel down here,' I said,
more outspoken that I usually was.
'I'm so hot,' she gasped.
'I think I can do something about that,' I said, kissing
her tits and moving down.
'No, I don't want to come before you're in me,' she
said. 'Let's start.'
'To prepare your bum?' I finished for her.
'Yes.'
'Are you sure? You sound a little insecure about it,' I
replied.
'Yes. I'm just... It's kind of... kinky and I know it's
silly but it feels like we are about to do something
forbidden.'
I thought about it for a moment. In a way, I was feeling
the same, only I had forgotten all about the "forbidden"
part of it and was left with a feeling of being about to
do something kinky and very exciting.
'It still excites you, doesn't it?' I asked.
'God yes! But it also scares me a little. I mean, it can
hurt.'
'I'll be very careful and stop if it hurt. I'm sure this
night will be something to remember, even if we do it
like we always do,' I said, trying to calm her fear.
'No, I want to do it! And I want to come with you in me.
I want this night to be very special,' she insisted.
'Okay. Do you want me to start preparing you?' I asked,
knowing how stubborn she could be, once she wanted
something.
'Yes please,' she replied, relieved.
I took the Vaseline and crawled down between Annie's
spread legs. She pulled up her legs, exposing herself.
'Begin with your little finger,' Annie suggested.
I coated my little finger with a generous amount of
Vaseline. Looking at her tiny, crinkled opening, I
suddenly found it very hard to believe that my dick
would ever be able to penetrate her without ripping her.
But if Jane had done it, it had to be possible.
Very cautiously, I pressed my little finger against her
arse. Much to my surprise, it slipped in almost without
meeting any resistance. In no time at all, it was
imbedded to the first joint.
'Does it hurt? Are you okay?' I asked a little
anxiously.
'It's okay. It feels funny, but it doesn't hurt. It
feels kind of good,' Annie replied, a bit unsure.
I eased it in to the next joint. Annie's breathing was
quickening.
'Stop me if it hurts,' I said, as I slowly pressed it
deeper.
'It's exciting,' Annie replied with a relieved giggled.
Very slowly, I eased all of my little finger into her
bum. I moved it back a forth a few times.
'Still good?' I asked.
'Yes, try your index finger instead,' Annie replied.
For the first time, the thought of getting my fingers
soiled crossed my mind. I watched my finger as it popped
out of her bum, but it looked clean. I think I was a
little relieved. My index finger got a Vaseline coating
and slipped in almost as easily as my little finger. I
was very careful not to be too rash. Steadily, it
entered her until it was all in.
'How does it feel?' I asked.
'Good and a little bigger,' she said, panting a little
more than before.
I leaned forward and let my tongue circle her clit.
'Don't,' Annie gasped. 'If you do that I will come in
two seconds. I ... want to wait.'
I obliged. Instead, I just moved my finger slowly in and
out to help her get used to it, like we had talked about
all week. Jane had given Annie some directions as to how
she, or I, should prepare her for the final penetration.
She gripped my finger tightly and it seemed even more
unlikely that I ever would get my dick into that tiny
opening.
'Try your thumb,' Annie said after a while.
My index finger was longer than my little finger, but it
still didn't look soiled, when I pulled it out. My
Vaseline coated thumb met a little more resistance, but
I worked it in slowly. It was almost double the
thickness of my index finger and I was beginning to be
afraid that it would hurt Annie. Annie moaned a little
as it stretched the tight ring and slipped in.
'Did it hurt?' I asked.
'No, but it feels big,' Annie panted.
'Are you ready for the rest of it?' I asked to make sure
before I continued.
'Yes,' Annie replied without hesitating.
Slowly, the first joint passed the tight ring of muscles
and my thumb disappeared into her. The thick second
joint made her moan again. I really thought that was it.
'Did I hurt you?' I quickly asked, ready to pull back.
'No, I just feel a little... stuffed,' Annie gasped
back.
'You are,' I replied. 'My thumb is all the way.'
'Try to move it,' Annie said.
Once again, the tight ring of muscle had to give way for
the thick thumb joint. Annie moaned, but now it began to
sound like she was enjoying this. After a while, she
began to move her hips against my thumb as it slowly
moved in and out of her bum. It looked obscene but
terribly exciting.
'I think I'm ready for you,' Annie gasped.
'Are you sure? My dick is thicker than my thumb. A lot
thicker,' I said, slightly worried about the change of
plans. I was supposed to use two fingers now and then my
dick.
'I'm ready!' she gasped. 'I need you now. It doesn't
matter if it hurts a little. It's supposed to hurt when
you lose your virginity,' she added, trying to giggle
while she was panting.
'You're in charge, but please promise to tell me to stop
if I'm hurting you,' I said.
'I will, just do it,' Annie said and as soon as my thumb
had left her bum, she turned around and got up on her
hands and knees. She looked so inviting, both her pussy
and her tiny entrance. Her pussy was very red and
swollen. I couldn't recall if I'd ever seen her so wet
before. Small droplets were running down her inner
thighs.
Annie's bum was thoroughly greased with Vaseline, but I
didn't want to take any risk and gave my dick a good
coating too. I was ready. I got up on my knees behind
her and positioned my cock at the entrance. It looked
impossible, simply impossible. But I didn't care. I had
never been more excited, consciously excited. I mean, I
was very excited the first times I did something with
Annie, but this time I was so much more aware.
Annie felt the head touched her. She took a deep breath
and tried to relax.
'Careful,' she whispered as a signal for me to go on.
'I will. Please tell me if it hurts,' I replied.
Very slowly, I increased the pressure. I don't think my
dick had ever been so hard before, but I wasn't thinking
about it. If I had been thinking about it, I would
probably have come on the spot. It was so exciting, but
again I was concerned that it would hurt her. It looked
so impossible. I tried to brace myself with the thought
that Jane had done it, but it still occupied my mind.
Which in a way was good, because it definitely kept me
from coming from sheer excitement.
Nothing happened at first. Annie's bum was tightly
sealed and didn't give at all. I tried to massage the
lower part of her back to help her relax, but it didn't
help much. Nothing happened. Again, I increased the
pressure. Maybe I had been too generous with the
Vaseline. My dick slipped and I had to start over again.
We both giggled nervously and perhaps relieved at the
little mishap.
This time I held on to my dick as I increased the
pressure. The head slowly began to stretch the tender
skin.
'Does it hurt?' I asked, realising that I was breathing
very heavily, almost as if I was doing 100 push-ups.
'No, is it in?' Annie asked in return.
'No, just the tip,' I said, prompting an impatient sigh
from Annie.
'Push hard and let's get it over with,' Annie said.
I tried to assess how much more she would have to
stretch to accommodate the thickest part of the head.
With half the head in, she was dilated approximately as
much as the first joint of my thumb dilated her. I was
going to tear her up, if I just forced the rest in
rapidly. I chose to ignore her command and pressed on
slowly.
Slowly and cautiously I pressed on. Annie was resting
her head on the pillow and holding her breath. All of a
sudden, the head popped into her and the ring closed
behind the rim.
'Ouuuch!' Annie yelped, arching her back.
'Are you okay?' I asked, anxiously.
'Yes!' she gasped. 'Just hold it there, okay?'
She was breathing rapidly, but tried to get her
breathing under control, taking a deep breath. It felt
as if she was trying to bite off the head of my dick,
but as she regained control of herself, the pressure
eased slightly. Or maybe I just got used to it. I waited
a minute, maybe more.
'Slowly,' she gasped.
I pushed in a fraction of an inch.
'Oh god... slowly... oh god, oh god... slowly,' Annie
moaned, almost whimpered as I pushed in a tiny bit at a
time.
It was an absurd, but extremely exciting sight to see my
dick disappear into her bum. My mind was racing. It was
possible and we were doing it! It was nothing like my
fantasies, it was even more exciting.
In my state of excitement, I interpreted Annie's moans
and whimpers as signs of her excitement. Half my dick
was in her, before she asked me to stop.
'Am I hurting you?' I asked, the fright returning.
'How... how much is in now?' she asked, not answering my
question.
'Half, I think.'
'Try to pull back just a little,' she gasped, before she
buried her head in the pillow again.
I retracted slowly, until only the head was in her.
Then, I moved forward again. It felt easier this time
and I did it a little faster. Two thirds of my dick
slipped into her, before I pulled back again. Annie
lifted her head.
'Oh god Dan... make... me...come,' she whimpered.
I had to lean forward over her to reach her pussy with
one hand, steadying myself on her buttock with the
other.
'Oh god yes! Ooooh god... no, no, no... oh god, oh god,
oh, oh gaaawd!'
Annie's whimpers grew in strength and she began to
shudder. I moved steadily and rubbed her clit. It
sounded like she was really close already. She held her
breath, then started to almost scream.
Annie screamed at the top of her lungs, only slightly
muffled by the pillow.
Her body jerked like she was getting electric shocks.
She alternated between screaming yes and no. It was
exciting but the intensity made it kind of scary too.
Her jerking didn't coincide with anything I did, so I
just continued. There was no sign that she had come, at
least she hadn't reached the point where she would
normally want me to stop. Not that any of her reactions
were normal, but I don't think I was thinking about
that.
I was briefly thinking that it was a good thing mom and
dad weren't home. If it hadn't been for the pillow, I
might have had to worry about the neighbours hearing us.
Annie's cries grew louder and more incoherent until she
just whimpered and screamed.
Suddenly, she tensed and stretched her legs. It took my
support away and I more or less fell down on top of her
still upturned arse. I had pulled back, but my dick was
forced very rapidly into her, deeper than it had been
before.
Annie squealed with a very high pitched voice.
Her hips moved violently up and down. My hand was forced
away from her clit and my dick moved very rapidly in her
tight bum. It was like riding a wild bull and it was
just too much for me. I hadn't consciously been holding
back, but seeing, or rather hearing Annie come, brought
me there, too.
My orgasm was almost as powerful as Annie's sounded.
Annie's bum contracted so hard around my dick it felt
like I couldn't come at all. Of course, it didn't stop
me from coming, it only felt that way. I came like I
hadn't had an orgasm for six weeks.
Annie was squealing and shaking under me for a long
time. Then we both collapsed, completely exhausted. I
realised I was lying with my full weight on Annie and
got up on my elbows. I could hardly support myself. In
my mind, she had got what she aimed for; we were going
to remember our lovemaking this particular night.
'Are you okay Annie?' I asked, still panting heavily.
'I think so,' Annie gasped, hardly audible, because she
still had her face in the pillow.
'It was fantastic!' I gasped and kissed her neck.
Annie raised her head and turned to look at me as much
as she could. Her face was flushed and hot, her eyes red
and slightly swollen, but she was smiling. 'It... was...
wonderful,' she said.
Two wet spots on the pillow caught my eye.
'You've been crying! It hurt, didn't it? Why didn't you
say something?' I asked, suddenly feeling very bad about
it all.
'No..., well, yes, it did hurt, but it got better,'
Annie said. 'It hurt in the beginning, but when I had
gotten used to it, felt good. I mean it still hurt, a
little but it felt good too. Then it just felt good.'
She had to stop to catch her breath again.
'Then when I was about to come, I hurt a little again
and I couldn't let go. Every time I was just about to go
over the top, it hurt. Or maybe I was just afraid it
would hurt. I don't think it actually did. I wanted to
come, but at the same time, I didn't dare. I mean, it
wasn't something deliberate, it just felt that way. And
it felt like I had a thousand small peaks. It just
dragged it out and kept me on the edge for a long time.
Suddenly, I couldn't hold it back any more. I just came
and it didn't hurt. At least I don't think it did. It
was so overpowering. It was just so fantastic. I don't
think I have ever felt anything like it.'
'But it still hurt enough to make you cry,' I said,
still not convinced.
Annie nodded. 'It hurt like hell. But I wanted it and
Jane had told me that if it did hurt in the beginning,
it would stop pretty quickly,' she said and added with a
smiled, 'She hadn't told me it would hurt so much.'
'You're so stubborn. But I love you,' I said and kiss
her as well as I could in that position.
My cock was still hard. I think Annie's tight bum kept
the blood from running back. My back and my arms were
beginning to feel the strain it took keeping my weight
off Annie.
'Think I'd better pull out now?' I asked.
'Okay. You are a bit heavy,' she replied.
I pulled out and rolled over next to her. Annie yelped.
'Ouch.'
'Did I hurt you again?'
'God, I'm sore,' she replied and squeezed her legs and
buttocks tightly together with a painful look on her
face.
'Oh Annie, why didn't you stop me? It must have been so
painful. Why did you let me hurt you like that?' I
asked, really distressed by the fact that I had caused
her so much pain.
'It didn't hurt all the time and I... I don't know. I
mean, I didn't know it would end up feeling so good,
but... I just wanted to do it and... I guess I was
afraid... I didn't want to disappoint you,' she replied.
'But you know I would never ever want to do something
that would hurt you,' I said, trying not to sound angry.
'Please promise me never ever to do anything like that
again.'
'But it did feel good in the end,' Annie said,
defensively.
'But you didn't know it would. You made me hurt you. I
love you so much Annie and the last thing I want to do
is hurt you.'
'Hey, I didn't know you would care all that much,' Annie
said, obstinately.
'Christ Annie. What does it take for make you understand
that I care for you? I love you. Why can't you believe
it? I thought that was what that suicide attempt was all
about,' I almost yelled, but I regretted it as soon as I
had said it.
'But I do know!' Annie protested, tears filling her
eyes. 'I didn't mean it like that.'
'I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said it, only... you scare
me when you do something like that.'
'I didn't think of it that way,' Annie said and wiped a
tear off her cheek.
'I... I wish I'd talked to you instead of... cutting
myself, but... I just want to forget about it.'
I thought about it for a moment. I wanted to forget
about it too; I thought I had, in a way. But there was
something left inside, a fear I guess, a fear that I
would do something that would make her do it again. I
don't know if it was that clear to me back then, but I
felt something like that.
'I love you so much, Annie. The last thing I want to do
is hurt you in any way. I want to forget too. I just
want you to be sure that I love you,' I said quietly.
'I am,' Annie said.
We hugged each other really tight for a long time. When
we let go, Annie dried her eyes and smiled weakly.
'I think we'd better clean up a bit,' she said, 'but I'm
not sure I can walk.'
She wasn't kidding. I had to support her on the way to
the bathroom and I had to help her into the shower. She
was really sore back there, but the shower seemed to
help. I tried not to, but I couldn't help thinking that
she tried to hide the pain to avoid hurting me. Maybe I
was wrong, maybe the shower did help. I didn't dare ask.
After we had eaten and were sitting in the living room,
Annie lying on the sofa because she didn't feel
comfortable sitting up, she suddenly turned to me with a
big smile.
'You know what?' she asked, rhetorically. 'I'll only
remember that fantastic orgasm you gave me. It was just
so wonderful.'
I could only agree, although I wasn't sure I'd be able
to forget the rest of it. Maybe I didn't need to. Maybe
I could get rid of my fear instead.
I guess I eventually did learn to, and yes, cousins can
marry.
END
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This story was written as an adult fantasy. The author
does not condone the described behavior in real life in
any way, shape or form. Anyone tempted to act out any
of the scenarios in this story should seriously
consider seeking professional help.
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Kristen's collection - Directory 79