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K R I S T E N' S C O L L E C T I O N
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Weird World of Sex
by John Enwright 1993 (address withheld)
***
Weird stuff that happens around the world. (sexual
content)
***
Consider the couple in New York who were hurt while
making love. And you thought that sex is a non-violence
activity. Be reassured that it is. Unfortunately, if
you take your mattress and put it on the subway tracks,
you're bound to be injured sooner or later.
Another couple resolved their differences the hard way
in Montevideo, Uruguay when the irate husband killed
his ex-wife after declaring he wanted to resume his
married life with the unfortunate woman. Unsure of the
concept?
Well then, how about the love-sick pilot who buzzed his
long lost love's house in Edmonton, Canada. After
hassling the neighbors and his ex for a few hours, he
eventually ran out of fuel and crashed into the woman's
living room.
Latin America is the one region in the world that must
hold the records for the youngest mothers. The youngest
was thought to be a 10 year old in Brazil. Now it
appears that a Colombian mother of eight gave birth in
1988.
Take in consideration the woman pro golfer who hit her
tee shot, which then struck a tree, rebounded and ended
up in her bra. Elaine Johnson, our erstwhile pro
duffer, comments, "I'll take a two stroke penalty, but
I'll be damned if I'll play it where it lies."
After hearing the former bodyguard of Mike Tyson, Rudy
Gonzalez, you wonder why ole' Mike got convicted of
rape. Seems Tyson was having sexual encounters with ten
to fifteen women a day. "There was a lot of kinkiness,"
said Gonzalez, "I'd have to go out and buy cucumbers."
Gonzalez also said that he had to be present during the
festivities so that Mike wouldn't get his throat cut or
something similar. "Yes, many of the women did have
problems with that...but it was non-negotiable, house
rules."
Other people play rough too. Consider Mexican Primitivo
Espada, who was separated from his wife for 5 years.
Mr. Espada decided that the time in the bed with her
had been terrible. One day, he returned and strangled
his wife.
Just to even things out, there's the case of the Latin
American woman who cut off her man's penis because of
alleged infidelity. Maria Otilia Zuniga Molina of
Cuenca, Ecuador decided enough was enough. After
drugging her mate, she surgically removed the offending
member. Ms. Zuniga eventually became a nun.
Those sex researchers have come up with another
astounding fact. While studying the sexuality of women
subjects, they found that a good percentage have had
orgasms when their big left toe was sucked. On a small
minority, this only worked on their right toe.
Sex researchers, Masters and Johnson in their book,
"Homosexuality in Perspective," assert that homosexuals
make better love than heterosexuals. They base this
conclusion on a study of 681 heteros and 167 gays done
between 1968 and 1977.
Those who know at Johns Hopkins University have found
that nitric oxide is what makes men have erections.
Don't rush out to the dentist, they are two different
chemicals.
"...Charles hasn't made love to me in five years. Andy
and Fergie are crazy about each other" and "can't keep
their hands off each other. No wonder she's smiling..."
said Princess Di of England. These are just some of the
quotes from what's published in the London tabloids.
And we thought they were happy just being rich.
Continuing on with the Charles-Diana Saga, the Daily
Mirror of London says Charles told his married lover,
"In my next reincarnation, I'd like to live as your
trousers." Not many of us knew the Prince believed in
reincarnation to inanimate objects.
Speaking of royalty-Infamous Ivan the Terrible once had
1,500 virgins presented to him for marriage. Anastasia
Zarina Yureva was chosen to be his wife, and gave birth
to the old family of the Romanovs that died during the
Russian Revolution.
The monk Rasputin, who controlled the ill fated
Romanovs, was known for his hypnotic power of
persuasion. Additionally, sex orgies were a regular
part of his regimen. His penis was also said to have
been enormous and when his killers eventually
prevailed, they cut it off. Sort of a keepsake...or
wishful thinking?
Not only did King Tut lose his fabulous jewels after he
was excavated, he lost his family jewels. American
Egyptologist, Dennis Forbes, said "We think someone
snapped off the penis before Tutankhamen was reinterred
the first time in 1926." Still hard after all these
years...
Apparently a souvenir hunter has also taken advantage
of the "Iceman," the Neolithic man found in the Alps
recently. After studying the corpse, scientists
discovered that his penis and testicles are missing!
Speculation is that it was snapped off while the body
was still frozen. Somewhere maybe a collector has the
aforementioned penises and Napoleon's too.
Nothing's sacred anymore. Seems that historian James
Thomas Flexner now says that Alexander Hamilton, Thomas
Jefferson's Vice President and founder of the US
Treasury, was bisexual. The evidence points to his
partners as being Colonel John Lawrence and Marquis de
Lafayette.
In the resort town of Playas, Ecuador six homosexuals
were arrested for illegal activities. Apparently, they
were detained when it was discovered they were having a
beauty pageant to elect the "queen of the town."
Then there's the case of April Ashley of England who
once was a man and decided to get married. However, a
court found that since she had the chromosomes of a man
and was born a man, the marriage was null and void.
Another man who now goes by the name of Sarah Luiz and
worked at Blue Cross and Blue Shield of Massachusetts
had her sex change in 1986. Ms. Luiz is now an ardent
feminist.
Most men prefer keeping their penises and according to
one study by Doctor Jacobus, the race with the biggest
penises overall are the Arabs with 8 to 10 inches. But
the Sudanese have some of the larger individual
specimens with 12 inches. Dr. Jacobus concludes that
the bigger ones are the Sudanese. Nothing like
scientific logic.
In France and Italy recently, there was the scandal
involving the Nigerian Princess who reportedly had over
4,000 women prostitutes under her control. All were
young girls from Nigeria, Senegal, Togo and Liberia.
Apparently the latest way to smuggle drugs is to mold
or even put them under the skin according to reports
from the South American press. One woman was caught
when police noticed something about her - those
buttocks were "too perfect." One woman attracted the
attention of customs in Bogota because her thighs were
so large. In another case, an operation was required
remove the drugs from underneath one woman's skin.
Jutta Kottlorz of Germany confessed to having slept
with 1200 men in 1988. It makes one wonder how many she
has had up till now... By the way, seems Jutta kept a
diary of her day to day sex encounters.
Vanna White's of TV's "Wheel of Fortune" life as a
celebrity has its pitfalls. Her career survived when
her nude pix were published some years back but
recently a fan burst in on her in a changing room at a
plush Beverly Hills clothes store. Clad only in panties
and bra, Ms. White watched in "horror" as the fan asked
for her autograph.
The police eventually hauled the man away. Another
time, while Ms. White signed autographs in Orlando,
Florida, a man made his way to the front of the line
and exposed himself. What some won't do for an
autograph.
One of the contenders for "Father of the Decade" has to
be Kip Wendler, better known as "Doctor Papa." Believed
the father of at least 300 children, he doesn't know
any of them nor their mothers. Doctor Papa is a regular
donor at the sperm bank.
At the University Language Center in Australia, there
is a new course in swearing. No, it's not for the
natives, they do well enough. Yes, the course is for
immigrants who have problems understanding of such
phrases as "playing silly buggers" (actually said by
ex-Prime Minister Bob Hawke to a Japanese group.)
The famous sex clubs in Thailand are hurting due to the
AIDS crisis. Most sex of choice is now just blowjobs.
One such place is called the Kangaroo Club where the
Australians go. As might be expected, the favorite
activity is drinking beer and the blowjob, which the
Aussies refer to as a "slimmer's lunch."
For those who like to watch sex, Thailand also offers
many shows. On any given day, you might see ordinary
fuck and lesbian acts or for the more adventurous-
women pulling razor blades, shooting balloons with a
dart gun, smoking cigarettes and blowing smoke rings,
inserting snakes and fish, all done with their vaginas.
Contrast Thailand with Saudi Arabia. There, men and
women are separated constantly whether in restaurants,
the beaches or even at home. No sex shows, no
prostitution, in fact wearing a bikini at the
segregated beaches might get you a date with a few
stones tossed by the natives.
Apparently not only the women of Thailand are so sex
conscious. A Thai monk recently assured he could help
an unemployed man rid himself of his bad luck. After
chanting prayers, the man was given a blowjob, for
which he gave $10 to the monk. Afterwards, the man
realized he had been abused and sought out the police.
For those condom and earring lovers, Safe Ears were
recently released by an American company. Packaged as
gold coins with ear clip-ons ("two to clip on, one to
slip on"), they are the ultimate safe sex accessory!
Chilean television viewers who expected to see a soccer
match, instead got Ciccolina (Italian porno star and
ex-legislator) having sex with many of her friends. The
station owners commented, "It was a genuine terrorist
attack."
IRNA, the Iranian news agency, says that a Teheran
University professor was fired for advocating "cheap
Western values." Apparently, the academic has been
espousing "pre-marital sex relations between female and
male students and cohabitation."
The ancient world also had some strange rules. If a
male Spartan was not married by thirty, two punishments
were carried out. First, he could no longer vote...
and... Watch athletic events that feature young men and
women participating in the nude.
Those judges apparently are crazy in Sri Lanka too.
According to reports, a magistrate in Panadura ordered
a 35 year old rapist to marry his 15 year old victim.
The mother of the unfortunate girl had "no objection"
and the report goes on to say that the couple left the
courtroom "happily with a smile."
The World Health Organization apparently has little to
do (consider AIDS and other diseases) but to conduct
surveys. One interesting fact uncovered in one lengthy
report estimates that in any one given day, 100 million
people are having sex, leading to 1 million pregnancies
and 150,000 abortions.
Those communist nations may have missed the sexual
revolution but at least they were allowed to bathe nude
at the beach. In the former communist eastern part of
Germany, this has changed. All along the Baltic coasts
signs banning nudity and fences surrounding nudists are
being built. This is being done to mollify visitors,
mostly "West Germans."
Besides determining that Galileo was right about the
sun being the center of the solar system, the Pope has
new news about heaven. Apparently, there is no sex
there because "they (the residents) are like the
angels."
When the wife's away, the husband plays or so it would
seem. After believing that his wife was visiting
friends in Germany, the erstwhile philanderer decided
to visit a brothel in Germany. Imagine his surprise and
shock when lo and behold his wife was offering her
services at the very same whore house!
The winds of change are coming slowly to China. In an
effort to bring in the modern age, calendars will be
allowed to feature women in bikinis.
A couple was arrested in Pikeville, Kentucky for making
love. If that seems unfair, Rhonda McCowan and Walter
Warner were fined $385 because they did it on the roof
of the Pinson Hotel. All this could have been prevented
if they had paid the $18.53 room charge.
One housing agency in London who had been denied a
government grant once when they advertised for jobs is
at it again. What got the British bureaucrats so upset
was that they advertised for "a black woman and a
lesbian" for the post of housing manager. The latest
request of Homeless Action is for an "Asian lesbian
housing manager."
If you are unmarried and living with a member of the
opposite sex in Pakistan, severe punishments may be
meted out. Village elders in Barra ordered one couple
shot for their "crime." The man's father was commanded
to execute the couple.
The new Universal Catechism of the Catholic Church
lists a multitude of sins that can condemn the sinner
to hell. Although there is a pardon for a "just
killing," there is none for a just fornication. By the
way, sexual wrong is defined in 10 pages. Before, only
seven lines were used. The Catholic Church must have
forgotten something...
Now we know why China is the most populist nation. Even
as poor as they are, there exist "unisex barber shops"
where not only can the modern worker get their haircut
but their pubic hair and other beauty treatments. The
most popular pubic design is the butterfly or heart.
For an extra fee, most will color hair "to suit the
personality."
Every so often true life seems even more strange than
the tabloids could possibly make up. Mary and Jack are
one such case. The South African men have been
"married" since May 28, 1960. That's not too unusual
today - but consider that they are also brothers...
Musician Lenny Kravitz, ex-husband of Lisa Bonet of the
Cosby Show, has moved to the Bahamas. He's building a
recording studio. After all those years in the fast
lane, he had this to say, "Maybe I just don't care
about sex. It's great, but I believe music's better."
Richard Gere who's married to model Cindy Crawford also
has some interesting comments. "My wife doesn't
understand why I'm such a sex symbol...You see, it's
just the movies."
Self named British "erotographer" Ernie King, editor of
Eurosex, has a class for teaching about pornography.
For about $2,000, Mr. King will fly you to his villa in
Spain and there you can learn all about the ins and
outs of porn. His mag offers mostly straight erotica.
He comments, "I am prepared to instruct only people
seriously interested in learning the alchemy of
erotography."
Another Englishman claims he can improve your sex life
by hypnotizing terrible lovers. "Even if you are not
very good...you'll provide the same sensation as a
combination of Tom Cruise and Casanova." However, some
disagree. The British Council for Professional Stage
Hypnotists says that Peter Powers is a fraud. "Once the
hypnotism wears off the effects do too."
Comedian Jackie Mason denies reports he tried to have
"elevator sex" with a young woman. After wooing the 29
year old woman at dinner, he allegedly invited the
woman to his apartment to meet Mikhail Gorbachev.
Debbie Goodman thought after he made the advances, "He
wouldn't hurt me...he's a rabbi!"
Mason commented, "I didn't even tell a dirty joke. Do
you think that I'm that desperate? God bless her but
she's a pathetic looking yenta. I've got gorgeous girls
hitting on me...every day!"
The latest rumors circulating is the Donald (Trump)
wants to have topless dancers in his Plaza Hotel.
Jackie Mason comments "I've been dying to do topless
for years." Maybe Mason could do his act in the
elevator.
George Bush's family values are a recent thing. Seems
that the ex-Prez was the roommate of a mother/daughter
prostitution ring when he was a college student. He got
an earful every night because the air conditioner
"wasn't noisy enough to drown out the `socializing' on
the other side of the partition."
Prozac, the controversial drug used to treat
depression, is now being touted as a cure for premature
ejaculation. Dr. Roger Crenshaw believes that since the
drug increases the amount of serotonin (a natural
chemical) which stops "overstimulation" most men can be
cured. For $45 a month, the patient can improve his sex
life in a matter of weeks.
Dillon Talbot, a computer salesman, is serving a year
in jail for indecent exposure and lewd behavior. When
Talbot found about a bachelorette party, he passed
himself off as a stripper sent by an anonymous friend.
Most of the time he would be "lathered" with oil by the
coeds. He was caught when one unbelieving student took
his picture at a party.
Religion is taking a new turn at one prison. Jesse
Loden who belongs to the "Technicians of the Sacred," a
religious order founded in 1983, seeks to worship in
the nude at the prison church. He's suing the Illinois
Department of Corrections.
For one 50 year old man, James Buff, his foot fetishism
has landed him with a criminal trespass violation.
Seems he had broken into 76 year old Velda Poer's home
and had planned to "tickle her feet." Ms. Poer let out
a blood curdling scream and Mr. Buff left but the
police caught him shortly thereafter.
State laws have some strange twists. Did you know
adultery is a crime in California? ($1,000 fine and/or
a year in jail) In Oklahoma, it's illegal to masturbate
while watching other couples make love at a drive-in
movie! (Offenders are charged with "molesting a
vehicle") Having sex in a moving vehicle is punishable
in Tennessee! ($50 or thirty days in jail) Having sex
in a stationary car is illegal in New Mexico... unless
you have curtains.
"Virtual reality," the latest computer craze, may be
banned in several states. No, not for business use but
for those who use the imagining for "dates" with too
realistic computer generated women.
In this day and age, safe sex is paramount and swingers
are reinventing the orgy to reflect this. Now jacking
off parties are the latest rage all across America
among many swingers.
Some of the latest screwiness to hit the political
theater is the bill known as the Pornography Victims
Compensation Act (S. 1521.) According to industry
sources, this bill would absolve criminals of their
crimes if they claim that "pornography made me do it."
Instead the blame would be placed on the publishers of
said material. Unanswered questions arise; such as
which publication is responsible and why aren't weapon
or chain saw manufacturers held liable when their
product is used in the commission of a murder or
assault. Besides, it has never been proved that porno
contributes to any criminal activity mentioned above.
It should be noted that in countries such as Iran or
Saudi Arabia, pornography is banned and yet crimes
against women are greater than other countries where
freedom of speech is guaranteed.
In New York, the local papers have been featuring ads
for plastic surgery. The twist is that the doctors are
touting surgery for men who suffer gynecomastia. This
affects an estimated 38 percent of men. What is it? Men
with female-sized breasts. According to the doctor,
"The surgery means the difference between existing and
living life to the fullest."
Those European condom makers have had some problems.
The financially strapped Russian government cannot
afford to import latex. In Spain, Italy and Portugal,
50 percent of the condoms sold fail strength tests and
in Italy 33 percent have holes.
Two sex surveys published by the National Enquirer and
the Weekly World News have some startling but perhaps
understandable results. In the Weekly World News, a
little over half of the men surveyed state that they
would rather kiss than have sex. In the Enquirer, 83
percent of the married women would rather shop than
make love. As one new wife said, "...I'm rich in the
lovemaking department but poor otherwise. I'll take the
money."
Actress Connie Stevens, the landlord of many buildings
in Los Angeles, found out recently that one of her
tenants was a call-girl ring. She was informed of this
by the LAPD after busting and evicting the group.
According to reports of the Associated Press, those
Aussies are giving new meaning to "Down Under." A new
show was recently taken off the air in mid-show by
irate callers. "Australia's Naughtiest Home Video
Special" featured a couple making love from afar,
animals doing the same and near naked women. The day
was saved when it was replaced midstream by an episode
of "Cheers."
Tennis pro Steffi Graf has a lot on her mind these days
besides beating her opponents. Ms. Graf is threatening
to sue the punk rockers, School Kids Scraped by a Bus,
over their song entitled "I Want to Fuck Steffi Graf."
Quotes" Actress Shelly Winters says "I think nudity on
the stage is disgusting, shameful and unpatriotic. But
if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic,
tasteful, patriotic and a progressive, religious
experience."
James Dean who was rumored to be bisexual is quoted in
the book, "James Dean: Little Boy Lost" as saying "If
my mother hadn't died when she did, I would have been
queer."
Has anything really changed? State of Alabama teachers
are forbidden to teach anything about sexual diseases
in the classroom. The rate of AIDS in Alabama has
increased 58% in the last year.
According to one British study released in 1992,
bulimia nervosa women are attracted to - get this -
overweight men. Seems like these women who gorge
themselves and then throw up, find and fall in love
with men who eat too much and manage to hold it down,
irresistible.
The adage floating around the Washington D.C. crowd is
that it's okay for politicians to do anything they want
sexually. However, most agree that what is politically
damaging is to be caught in bed with a "dead woman or a
live boy."
One politician in Richmond, California apparently isn't
about to give up her other job. Councilwoman Donna
Powers who moonlights as the 8 inch nude mermaid at
Bimbo's 365 Club in San Francisco, says "I'm a pink
little thing. The bowl is very forgiving. I guarantee
you any woman would look like a knockout in that fish
bowl."
Men's Health magazine apparently is taking itself a
little too seriously. A study recently completed says
that men scored 71% of the time when they used the
pickup line "Hi." Believe it or not, 100% of the women
scored when they used the same line...
Parade magazine says one of the worst trends is
Madonna. Lisa Birnbach, who compiled the list says,
"We've seen her almost nude, semi-nude, quasi-nude and
nude. She seems to have a need to be nude. What's next?
Her X-ray?" Well, we haven't seen her spread shot!
Remember when it was exciting enough just to get
married? These days, it's not the sex that counts but
how you get hitched. Witness the bungee jumpers,
marriage in the nude and other such stunts. One couple,
Gina and Stuart Scott, got married at the 7 Eleven
where they first saw each other. "...I wanted to marry
my wife where I met her," said the groom. "She laughed
about it at first. But after she thought about it, she
thought it was romantic."
According to one report circulating in the world press
is that the reason Christine Jorgensen, the first
publicized transsexual, died was because of stress.
When she had the operation in the fifties, she became
an instant celebrity and over the years, this took its
toll said her doctor, Lancford Gohng.
Another report circulating in the Latin American press
says that one hundred dollars will get a new hymen for
the sexually experienced female. One source indicated
that "thousands of North American girls travel to
Mexico" to restore the trust desired by their fiancé.
In 1951, two brothers from New Zealand were separated
at birth and were later adopted separately. All those
years, the brothers searched for each other. Finally in
1992, they found each other. Imagine the surprise when
the one living in England had a sex change operation
and is now the mother of three.
With the latest rage being non-alcoholic drink, someone
had to come up with a way combining it with sex. Well,
our prayers were answered by the Lollipops juice bar in
Eugene, Oregon. There you can not only drink to your
health, you can ogle bare breasted bartenders as well.
And you thought the reason that the star of the sitcom,
Roseanne, lost weight was for her health. Think again.
Says Ms. Arnold "I was a big fat pig... I weighed 300
pounds...and we were unable to have sex."
Mel Gibson was quoted as saying this about his famous
nude scenes, "If I've still got my pants on in the
second scene, I think they sent me the wrong script."
Apparently a new definition of "romance" is taking
place at the local Blockbuster Video store. "Mandingo,"
described by one movie reviewer as "an infamously vile
and brutal tale of Old South masters and slaves,"
features the story of a black slave forced by his
master's wife to make love and then boiled alive for
his indiscretion.
In this technology first world, it had to happen. The
Safe Sex Sofa made its debut at a fair called "The Wild
West Week at the Pacific Design Center." Seems that
when an amorous couple sits down, recorded messages
touting safe sex are played. The promotional literature
says "Not since the French has the classic design for
the boudoir of the 90's been so inviting."
Speaking of safe sex, condoms were being used as the
centerpiece at Harvard Divinity School in an art
exhibit. Karen Norberg, the artist, has incorporated
condoms in innovative ways. According to an Associated
Press story, the artist covered them with "beads, fur,
yarn, leather, feathers and bracelet charms." In
addition, others featured "condoms filled with honey,
alphabet soup, a baby sneaker, tiny models of the earth
and sunflower seeds." The most telling was one called
"Carmen Miranda." Ms. Norberg comments "This is serious
art."
Frivolous suits seems to be the order of the day. One
prisoner in the Illinois' Pontiac Correction Center is
suing for the right to "wear a bra, panties and
mascara" according to the Chicago Tribune. Anthony
Jones, who prefers Tonya Star Jones, says "I have every
right in the world to wear a dress."
Billboard signs along the highway are a great American
tradition. Burma Shave and all that. These jewels were
spotted recently. In Kalispel, Montana appeared; "Every
Hour One Montanan Gets Gonorrhea," and in Corpus
Christi, Texas, "Surprise Her with Crabs."
This one was in Reader's Digest. A mother and daughter
were at an art show. The artist was a family friend and
one painting of a nude woman looked awfully familiar.
"I trust you haven't taken to posing in the nude," said
the woman. The daughter answered, "Oh, no. He painted
that from memory."
One side note to our involvement in the Moslem country
Somalia is the practice of circumcision. No, not of men
but of women. Seems like the culture we're trying to
save has as one of its traditions the removal of
clitorises and the sewing up of women's vaginal
openings. Maybe this is why all the right wingers are
in favor of going there in the first place.
Bondage is not thought of as very popular in our
society. But consider this. In 1989, one study states
that over 40 percent of the patients in senior citizen
complexes were put into "physical restraints" at some
point during the year.
For some, sexual arousal takes many forms. In New York
City (where else?) there is a club called "Hot Ash."
The all male club derives their sexual satisfaction
from smoking cigars and other acts involving them. Some
forms of play include blowing smoke at others, rubbing
their partners' faces in ashtrays and using a cigar as
a dildo and then replacing it with a penis. One would
assume this is done, after dinner!
Our psychic friends have predicted at least two major
stories for 1993. According to the annual
prognostications in the National Enquirer, Peter Meers
believes that Dolly Parton's left breast will "explode
during a nationally televised special." Among his many
other predictions, Madonna will announce that she is
really the "love child" of... OF... Jim Nabors!
This has little to do with sex (or does it?) but in
1991, 30,000 Americans were injured, by jewelry!
Even in Chesapeake, Virginia strange things can happen.
Seems like in the store called North Landing Grocery,
known for its great barbecue sandwiches, patrons were
enjoying a cup of coffee when they looked down the road
and spotted a man coming their way. "The man walked in
here and told everybody... that the Lord told him to
take his clothes off," said the store clerk, Richard
Cuffee. The policeman who arrived at the scene
convinced the man the Lord had confided in the cop to
put them back on.
Herve Villechaize, onetime star of the TV show "Fantasy
Island" recently said that he once poured chocolate
pudding all over his naked body. The diminutive 3 foot
11 inch actor says it was all fun and games in the
shower with his 5 foot 9 inch girlfriend, Kathy Self.
Says Ms. Self, "If you haven't had a chocolate covered
dwarf in your shower you haven't lived."
Another TV star, Roseanne Arnold, decided to turn on
husband Tom with some sexy lingerie but he apparently
wasn't very interested. TV had his attention. When
Rosie cried over his neglect, he realized his mistake.
To make amends, Mr. Arnold donned one of her outfits,
the cute French maid outfit complete with crotchless
panties and fishnet hose and all was forgiven and
forgotten.
On Craig Charles' British talk show, Brigette Nelson
decided to let the host sample her bosom. Charles says
"I almost suffocated. But something about her breasts
didn't feel right. One was harder than the other, and I
told her so right there on the set." Brigette had
enough and stormed off the stage.
A man who committed suicide had problems that
apparently didn't end with his death. Seems his lover
and his surviving children are fighting over his frozen
sperm. William Kane's girlfriend, Deborah Hecht and his
family cannot agree that she should have his baby post
mortem and the case may eventually be solved in the
Supreme Court.
This ad was recently discovered in a tabloid. "Single
white mom of one, 25, pregnant (due 3/93) looking for
nonsmoking marriage-minded man. Photo/phone. Serious
only!"
Hair or lack of it has always been a form of sex
appeal. However, some take it to extremes. One man, who
was so obsessed with hair that he reportedly had
orgasms just touching it, was arrested in the 1800's in
Chicago. His crime? He cut off the hair of an estimated
50 women!
According to Daniel Mannix, author of the book
"Freaks," there was one man who had an "additional"
problem. Frank Lentini, one third of Siamese triplets,
had two sets of genitals and a third leg too (no, a
real leg.) Reportedly, Mr. Lentini joined the circus,
made a good sized sum of money from exposing himself
and also fathered four children. It's not known if both
sets of organs worked.
Pyromania, the urge to set things on fire, in modern
times has always been thought of as a sexual disorder.
A recent case in Florida proves the point. Patrick Lee
Frank was tried and acquitted by reason of insanity
after setting fire to 17 churches. The man confessed to
William McFarland of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and
Firearms, saying churches "were causing him to have
homosexual urges he didn't want" and also "gave him
strong urges to steal cars and slash tires."
Madonna seems to be everywhere in the print medium. One
woman's magazine touts a story on how to save your kids
from the "material girl" while another says that
Madonna's dress designer will do the new president's
wife's, Hillary Clinton, inaugural gown. Watch out
America, sex is gonna due you in!
By the way, hierophilia describes Madonna's obsession
with sacred objects. This term applies to those who get
sexual satisfaction from masturbating with sacred
objects such as crosses and attending church services.
Those turned on by the preacher and other public
speakers suffer from homilophilia. Aren't you glad we
got all that straight?
The latest scam in Thailand involves robbery. It seems
that transvestites after getting their clients to the
hotel rooms are robbing them. That's not unusual but
the way is. The transvestites get the unsuspecting
Johns to suck on their nipples which are coated with
tranquilizers and the men fall asleep, making them
easier to rob.
Another robbery note. It seems that there is a
scientific term, harpaxophilia, for those who get
sexually aroused from being robbed! We know, they go to
Thailand!
With more research, Weird World also found out there is
another scientific name for those who become sexually
excited by traveling! Hodophilia is the proper name and
it's said that the "anxiety, pleasure, autonomy, and
additional hours of entertainment" may cause people to
break out of their normal routine.
Continuing with the traveling theme, there is also a
scientific name for those who like to make love on
trains. These people are known as Siderodromos. This is
described as follows; "Couples sometimes reserve a
cabin and will have sex standing in front of the window
as the train passes through a town or a station."
Talk shows in America are obsessed with certain
subjects. Donahue, Oprah and Geraldo all have at one
time or another have had strippers on their shows.
Males, females... dwarfs - you name it. What's next you
ask? Recently on the Montel Williams Show, they had...
"Christian Strippers," those who do it for God! We at
Weird World thought they always did stripping for
money.
The orient is the Mecca for and is known throughout the
world for its sex shows. Our correspondent tells of
being stationed at Clark Air Force Base in the
Philippines. One of the most famous clubs was the
Thunder Dome. Here, two naked women would fight and try
to drown each other in a pool of water. Other clubs
featured acts like shooting ping pong balls out of
their vaginas. Probably the most interesting ones were
performers who were able to pick up stacks of coins
with their vaginas and deposit them one by one on the
floor.
Another says that Bangkok tops the Philippines. Among
the "acts" there are such famous ones like squatting
over a bottle and holding it, blowing smoke rings from
their vaginas, ejecting razor blades (wanna go to bed
with her?) and depositing boiled eggs in champagne
glasses. Best of all are the women who can bust
balloons with darts propelled out of their vaginas.
Game, set, match!
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Please keep this story, and all erotic stories out of
the hands of children. They should be outside playing
in the sunshine, not thinking about adult situations.
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Kristen's collection - Directory 63