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Conventional Sex 
by Anonymous (address withheld)

***

In the year after I turned 13, three incredible things 
happened to me. The first two sucked. I guess the third 
did too, but you'll get that joke later. (Fm-teen, ped, 
oral, 1st, sacrilegious)

***

The first thing was that I hit puberty. Like a brick 
wall. 

One day I was a normal kid, a decent second-baseman in 
the school softball games, no problem bigger than 
sweating out whether I'd get a C- or a D+ in penmanship 
from Sister Mary Margaret. Sister Margaret had taught 
penmanship, and nothing but penmanship, for it seemed 
like a hundred years. Anyway, she'd taught my sister, 
who was six years older than me, and she looked old 
enough to have taught my mom and dad, too. 

Nothing I could do for Sister Margaret was as good as 
my sister had done, as the old nun was very open about 
telling me. Since my going to the summer Scout camp was 
dependent on keeping all my grades passing -- even 
though penmanship didn't count toward graduation -- I 
couldn't just ignore Sister Margaret's crotchetiness. 
It did seem that the harder I gripped the No. 2 
Eberhard-Faber, the worse my loops got, but I was 
confident I could curl them enough to squeak out the C. 

Then everything went nuts. All of a sudden I was 
missing easy grounders and throwing 12 feet over the 
head of Eddie, the first-baseman. I couldn't seem to 
control any muscle, most importantly the ones in my 
fingers. My handwriting looked like the chart of a 
drunk's stumble down a dark alley. And one gray, rainy 
morning I got up and looked in the mirror and some 
stranger was looking back. Some ugly kid with big red 
pimples all over his face. And it was me. 

For the rest of my life, I have studiously avoided 
reading anything about adolescence, because I don't 
want to know just how late I was to the party. All I 
know was that I at last understood why our class 
softball team had sucked so mightily the year before. 
We weren't that great as eighth graders, either, but 
that was mostly because several key players skipped a 
lot of the weekend games to spend time with girls. I 
began to get a vague inkling why they thought that was 
a better way to spend their time, too. 

You might think that having a klutz at second would 
contribute to our team's weakness as well, but that 
only lasted a couple of games. No, I didn't get any 
better, not for a year or two. But Coach Carlson yanked 
me from the starting lineup in favor of some guy with 
six hairs already sprouting on his upper lip and I 
spent the next two weekends riding the bench before I 
finally threw in my glove. 

I don't blame the coach, because my screw-ups had 
clearly cost us the last game I started. At least 
that's what everyone else on the team pointed out to 
me, repeatedly. 

In fact, my teammates, in the spirit of constructive 
criticism, conceived the nickname "Goony Bird" for me, 
as a way to gently remind me that my flailing arms and 
stumbling running were not up to their athletic 
standards. It was only years later, when I had no 
friends left who had known me when, that I was able to 
shorten that to "Bird" and convince my new friends that 
I'd been so tagged because my basketball ability 
reminded people of the Celtics great. I was able to put 
that over, I think, because I had finally grown into my 
arms and legs. 

But I don't want you to think that I was some repulsive 
freak as a kid. Well, at least, not any more repulsive 
than any other boy who's suffered massive hormone 
overload. If I kept to a slow, steady pace I could 
actually put one foot in front of the other without 
tripping myself. And the photo I still have of me 
leading the Easter procession, cross held high 
overhead, white surplice and red cassock flapping in 
the spring breeze, shows a rather handsome youth. We 
won't mention how many boxes of Stridex it took to make 
that so. 

I didn't get the top spot in the processional on looks 
alone. I wasn't even the tallest one in our group of 
altar boys. But Sister Margaret, who doubled as 
sacristan and Uberfuhrer of altar boys, wasn't about to 
let Peter Burke take first place. Pete was a few inches 
taller than me, and about 30 pounds heavier. All 
muscle. Including his brain, as it happened. 

Pete was the only kid I ever knew who had been sent to 
military school -- after fourth grade, a remarkably 
early exit -- and had made a comeback (two years later) 
at Ss. Swithin and Melchior's. Rumor had it his family 
had paid heavily to get him readmitted when even the 
goons at Wayne Academy couldn't beat sense into him, 
but I believe it could be entirely coincidental that 
his return to Ss. S&M was followed only two weeks later 
by groundbreaking for the new convent. 

Whatever grease had been applied to slip Pete back into 
parochial school, it wasn't enough to get him any 
special favors from the nuns. He was plunked into the 
front of every classroom -- so the nuns could keep an 
eye on him -- and into the back of every procession, so 
the congregation wouldn't notice him. 

The top spots were reserved for the best students. I 
was one of them. In fact, I was the top student, and 
that was the second incredible thing that happened to 
me that year. 

I had always been a better-than-average student, never 
coming in any lower than 10th among the 50 or so kids 
in our year, but never rising any higher than fourth. 
Aside from Ken Rondini, a curiously neat kid with a 
strong resemblance to Alfalfa in the old "Our Gang" 
series (if Alfalfa had been mown down to scarcely more 
than four feet tall), who occasionally bobbed up as 
high as second place in grades and won every other 
spelling bee, the top spots in our class were always 
taken by girls: Betty, the goodie-goodie; Linda, the 
heavy-lidded immigrant who began wearing a bra in 
kindergarten; and Ann, one of those spectacularly 
unremarkable people, the kind who always hang around 
the edges of fame, accepted by the stars of life 
because they so clearly will never challenge for the 
top. Remember those expendable crewmen in "Star Trek?" 
Same kind of personality. 

Anyway, in eighth grade the girls in the class suddenly 
sank in the rankings. It seemed almost as if they had 
decided being smart was no longer a good thing. Being a 
good feminist -- having had that philosophy beaten into 
me by my older sister, in fact -- I now realize that is 
exactly what happened, a horrible effect of our male-
dominated culture's insistence that women must subsume 
their intellectual gifts or risk scaring away potential 
mates. Back then, I just thought the girls went all 
goofy. 

Whatever the reason, I suddenly found myself contending 
with Rondini for the best grades. School seemed to turn 
into nothing more than a succession of spelling bees 
and math quizzes and geography drills, and time and 
again it came down to Rondini and me, mano a mano -- or 
at least as mano as a wisp like Rondini could get. He 
had always been the butt of much classroom humor, and 
as we were increasingly singled out in competition, 
whatever he had rubbed off on me. It stunk. 

Worse yet, Rondini crumbled under the pressure. It 
showed up first in the spelling bees, where he began to 
insert irrelevant A's and inadvisable S's and once, 
memorably, let loose a very unfortunately timed P. The 
competition was over almost before it had begun, and by 
the Christmas holidays I stood alone, head and 
shoulders above the rest of my class. Of course, the 
worst thing about standing out in a crowd is that it 
makes aiming at you much, much easier. Everyone who 
hadn't made fun of me in fall because of my ineptitude 
on the diamond now piled on because I was too smart for 
my own good. 

Unless you have ever been the smartest person in your 
group, you can't know just how awful that is. I say 
this with no false humility, because by the time I got 
to college women had changed their minds about the need 
for brains. They had also changed their minds about the 
length of their hemlines, and the combination of 
competition and distraction pulled me sharply back into 
the middle of the pack. 

But grade school was a simpler and harsher time. I was 
typecast as the bumbling brainiac, and I hated it. In 
class I daydreamed of being just an ordinary kid. My 
daydreams were usually interrupted when one nun or 
another called on me to answer. Proving how dumb I was, 
I always answered and almost always answered correctly. 
This was not the way to sink into blissful mediocrity. 
I thought about purposefully getting answers wrong, but 
when my name was called my Pavlovian little brain 
insisted on spitting out the right ones. 

The one answer I couldn't figure out was how to escape 
my role as the geek of the class. Then, one morning, 
the glimmer of an answer appeared. 

It started when Eddie -- the first-baseman -- and I 
were serving 6 a.m. Mass. It was a cozy affair, three 
old ladies, one snoozing bum, Fr. Pascalitis and us, 
all alone in a church the size of a zeppelin hangar. 
You don't know what early morning is until you've spent 
one trying to prop your eyes open in a barn filled with 
the scent of decades-old incense while some guy's 
snores are turned into the drone of a Sopwith Camel by 
the echoing walls. 

Not that Eddie and I worried too much about what would 
happen if we did take a nap. Fr. Pascalitis, who we 
suspected knew Latin so well because his parents had 
spoken it as a first language, could mumble his way 
from start to finish in the old rites without any 
assistance from us. That was good, because he spoke so 
quietly that we couldn't catch the few syllables we 
used as cues for our bell-ringing, and he moved his 
arms so little we couldn't watch for those telltale 
signs, either. Sometimes we just rang the bell to see 
if we could wake the bum, and Fr. Pascalitis didn't 
seem to notice. 

His lack of concern might have had something to do with 
the way he safeguarded the bottle of sacramental wine 
he reserved for his special use. It seemed somewhat 
paler and smelled considerably more powerful than the 
stuff Sister Margaret would set out for the parish's 
other two priests. We used to say that Fr. Pascalitis 
had the only 80-proof Jesus-in-a-bottle in the world. 

On the day I'm talking about, Eddie and I got to church 
around 5:30. Because it was Fr. P's week to do the 6 
a.m., we didn't have to prepare the cruets of wine and 
water; he always took care of that himself. Come to 
think of it, that water had a bit of a punch to it as 
well. This was back in the days before the congregation 
got anything more than a wafer at Communion, though, so 
we never got a taste for ourselves. 

Anyway, with time to kill, we occupied ourselves trying 
to write stuff on the 12-foot-high ceiling of the 
sacristy, using the smoke from the four-foot-long 
candle lighters. Ss. S&M had been around a long time; 
it was hard to find a spot that wasn't already covered 
by soot. 

Comes Mass time and we trotted out with Fr. P, taking 
his usual shortcut across the front of the church 
rather than going all the way to the back and up the 
middle aisle. Things were going along smoothly and 
Eddie and I were playing tic-tac-toe by scratching our 
fingernails into the green plush of the handrails on 
our kneelers when we heard a clang and a few words that 
were shocking not only because they were English -- 
this was a year or two before the Latin Mass declined -
- but also because we'd never heard anyone in a cassock 
(ourselves excluded) saying things like that, let alone 
in church. 

We looked up to see the white altar cloth rapidly 
turning red, and just about at that same moment a 
strong whiff of alcohol floated over us and made my 
eyes water. 

Eddie and I just stared for a while. Fr. P had righted 
the cup and was going on with the Mass. We looked out 
at the congregation and the old ladies still had their 
heads bowed. If they'd heard anything, they must have 
thought it was just another one of those Vatican II 
innovations they'd heard about. 

At Communion a minute or two later, Fr. P was swaying 
more than usual and almost missed the second old lady's 
mouth with the wafer before he punched it home. He ran 
through the rest of the ceremony even faster than usual 
and walked right back into the sacristy. Eddie looked 
at me and raised his eyebrows; we'd always at least 
trooped across the front of the church along the 
Communion rail. 

It seemed odd to do that without the priest, so we just 
grabbed the cross from its holder and ducked into the 
sacristy ourselves. Fr. P was gone by the time we got 
there; we shucked our robes and walked over to school, 
killing time outside for a few minutes before the 
janitor opened up. 

Comes lunchtime and we're out on the playground. 
Eddie's not even noticing me anymore, of course, 
because there are other kids now and he wouldn't want 
to be associated with the class geek. I'm used to this 
and I'm leaning against the rough bricks of the school, 
hoping some younger kid will be dumb enough to draw the 
attention of the big kids and keep them from picking on 
me. 

The key to not being noticed, of course, is not to look 
at anyone yourself, so I'm ostriching with my eyes 
pointed at my shoelaces and I don't know what's coming 
until my ear is being twisted so hard I see stars. 
Before I can react, I'm being pulled along and I see 
Eddie looming ahead, his eyes getting bigger and 
bigger. All the other kids drift away from him, but 
he's frozen in place and then I see a scrawny hand in a 
black sleeve reach past me and nab his ear, faster than 
a cobra taking down a mongoose. 

The cackle that follows I immediately recognize as 
coming from Sister Mary Margaret, but I can't turn 
around to check because now she's double-timing us both 
back across the playground to where the other nuns are 
sitting on lawn chairs and reading from their prayer 
books. She stops us in front of Sister Juliet, our 
eighth-grade homeroom teacher. 

Sister Juliet is the only nun in the school who looks 
to be under 50. It's hard to tell because her hair is 
all covered up by the headpiece (or at least it's 
supposed to be; with Sister Juliet there's usually a 
wisp of blond strands peeking out somewhere), but I'd 
guess now that she was in her early to mid-20s then. 
One thing about the nun's habits, the tight bands 
around their faces gave them automatic facelifts, so 
you couldn't go by wrinkles. But Sister Juliet's skin 
was still pink, not gray like most nuns, and she hadn't 
developed the thin-lipped scowl that was standard issue 
with the others. 

Sister Juliet looks up, using one hand to shield her 
eyes from the sun. Before she can say anything, Sister 
Margaret is yapping. I'm thinking it's the candle smoke 
on the ceiling and wondering whether the old nun 
actually mapped out all the old charring, but no. 
"These two infidels," she says, yanking our ears for 
emphasis, "desecrated the holy altar of God this 
morning, Sister Juliet. That's the kind of thing this 
Vatican Council nonsense is leading us to. The blood of 
the lamb spilled all over my clean altar cloth, 
dripping onto the floor. Onto the floor!" 

"Is that true, boys?" Sister Juliet is looking straight 
into my eyes. 

"Well, it wasn't our fault," I start to say. And Eddie 
pipes up, "Fr. Pascalitis..." Whatever he was going to 
say ends in a strangled "Eerrp" as Sister Margaret 
gives him another tweak. 

"Of course it's true," she shouts. "And they'll pay for 
their sins, these heathens. They are going to clean the 
floor on their hands and knees, getting every drop of 
our Saviour's blood off that marble and then scrubbing 
it to a polish. Even if it takes all day, they'll learn 
the wages of sin!" 

"Not until after school," Sister Juliet says, quietly. 
She's looking past me now, I guess into Sister 
Margaret's eyes. "And we must not keep them out too 
late, of course. I think an hour would be enough, don't 
you? I believe Mother Superior would agree." 

Sister Margaret just snorted, but she released our ears 
and we were able to go back into the school. A few 
years later I would figure out that Sister Juliet and a 
couple of the not-so-old older nuns, including the 
principal, who was also the superior of the convent, 
were allied against Sister Margaret and the rest of the 
hard-liners. Back then, though, it was unthinkable that 
nuns could disagree, so we figured it was just some 
kind of good cop-bad cop routine. 

And the bad cop -- Sister Margaret, that is -- got us 
back at the end of the school day. Sister Juliet turned 
us over and watched as the older nun walked us toward 
the church, but as soon as the younger nun ducked back 
into the school building Sister Margaret had us by the 
lobes again. It was a cold, cold day, and even if any 
boiler could have kept that barn of a church warm, 
Sister Margaret was too stingy to fire it up in the 
middle of the afternoon just for the likes of us. 

Our fingers were quickly numbed and our knees ached 
from the hard floor and I swear there wasn't more than 
a drop or two of wine there in the first place -- let 
alone wondering whether it really had been consecrated 
before it spilled -- but Sister Margaret kept us at it 
well past an hour before Sister Juliet came in the side 
door of the church and said our parents were calling 
the convent about us and wasn't it time we were getting 
home? Sister Margaret had disappeared somewhere to wash 
the altar cloth, so Eddie and I gathered up our 
cleaning supplies and piled them in the sacristy and 
took off before she could get back. 

Since no other kids were around by the time we escaped, 
Eddie was willing to walk home with me. Our 
conversation was devoted to our feelings about Sister 
Margaret, and "dried-up old penguin" was the nicest 
thing either of us said. We were just about a block 
from Eddie's house -- he lived kitty-corner and six 
doors up from me -- when I got the idea that I thought 
would not only produce the vengeance my heart craved 
but also the produce the regular-kid status my brain 
desired. 

"Let's break the old bat's window," I said. I tended to 
mumble whenever I said bad things about nuns, though -- 
ingrained survival instinct from school -- so at first 
Eddie didn't know what I was talking about. "Let's 
break the old bastard into what?" he said. 

We sorted that out and he agreed that broken glass 
would be a worthwhile punishment. (In the years since I 
have wondered just how we thought that would work; was 
Mother Superior going to make her glaze the replacement 
window in herself? All I can say is, it seemed like a 
good idea at the time.) Eddie, though, who had the 
street smarts I lacked, suggested we wait a week or two 
until someone else had gotten a chance to tick off 
Sister Margaret, so we wouldn't be the obvious 
suspects. We shook on the deal. 

It was almost a month and getting close to the end of 
the school year before we had our chance. As fate would 
have it, Rondini was the one who rose up as a potential 
scapegoat, when Sister Margaret caught him shuffling 
through the papers on the lectern during a prayer 
service in church for some underprivileged country or 
another. It wasn't clear just what was so wrong with 
what he did, but Ken didn't help himself when he told 
Sister he had looked through the papers -- probably old 
sermons or something -- because he was bored waiting 
for his turn to read our prayer intentions. You could 
hear the entire class suck in its breath at once when 
he said that. 

Exactly what Sister Margaret did to him I'll never 
know, but Eddie and I met after school (in his 
backyard, so no other kids could see us) and agreed 
that now was the time. 

That evening was a Boy Scout meeting, and Eddie and I 
ducked out early during a firelight ceremony. (Well, 
actually two flashlights covered in red plastic and 
waved around a little; there was no way they'd let us 
have a real fire in the old school hall.) We gathered 
up some likely-looking stones from the gravel driveway 
of the rectory garage and, practicing our best Scout 
wilderness training, ran from bush to bush until we 
were in sight of the convent wall. 

It was only then that we realized a major flaw in our 
plan. Being nuns, the good sisters kept their blinds 
and drapes tightly shut, especially at night. We could 
see lights pop on and off occasionally, but we had no 
way of knowing whose room was whose. 

Eddie was all for picking one window at random and 
letting fly, but that was a step or two too far over 
the line between being an ordinary kid and being a JD 
for me. I knew it might cost me my only chance at 
mediocrity, but I talked Eddie out of it. 

Two days later, Eddie passed me a note in class and we 
met in the boy's room. He had another idea. He wouldn't 
tell me exactly what it was, but we were each to tell 
our parents that after the next Scout meeting, in about 
a month, we would be sleeping over at the other kid's 
house. 

That such a lame story worked for me isn't surprising; 
my reputation as a good boy was strongest at home, 
where even my sometimes resentful silences were 
interpreted as respect. That Eddie's parents swallowed 
the tale, not even bothering to check with my parents a 
few doors away, surprised me. Eddie was a typical 
eighth-grader -- which is to say, snotty, sneaky and 
disobedient. I can only guess that his parents thought 
no one would be dumb enough to tell a lie that could be 
caught so easily. Or else they didn't care, which, 
given the state of Eddie's clothes most days even when 
he'd just left the house, seems entirely possible. 

This time we didn't even go to the Scout meeting. Eddie 
led me down an alley halfway between the church and our 
houses. There was a big, overgrown mulberry bush about 
50 feet up the alley, and he ducked under its leaves 
while I stood guard outside. Two minutes later he was 
beside me again, dressed in even grungier clothes than 
usual, as he finished stuffing his Scout uniform into a 
paper bag. Then it was my turn. I wasn't thrilled about 
changing in the middle of an alley, and besides the 
bush was right next to a smelly garbage bin that was 
swarming with flies. 

I knew I couldn't afford to skip out on my second 
chance at descending to Eddie's level, so I held my 
nose and changed -- which isn't easy to do at the same 
time, believe me. My mom had given me a duffel bag for 
my overnight stuff, and after I was done we snuck it 
and Eddie's paper bag into a gap in the fence near the 
bush's roots. Eddie grabbed some loose cardboard from a 
garbage bin a few doors down and covered up our stuff. 

Eddie led us past the church and down another block, 
then up another alley. Being an ordinary kid was a lot 
dirtier than I had thought; we jumped a fence and hid 
in the weeds between two garages, and it smelled like 
the narrow space served as the bathroom when the 
neighborhood kids played ball. 

Truth is, we used it ourselves while we were waiting -- 
for the Scout meeting to end, Eddie told me. About an 
hour after dark, we finally heard some guys walking 
past the alley and recognized Billy Kegelman's voice. 
He always stayed to last 'cause his dad was the 
scoutmaster, so we knew if he was leaving it was safe. 
A few minutes later, we crept out of the alley and over 
to the convent. 

The building ran from the main street the church was on 
almost all the way to the street behind, with wide 
lawns in front and behind. The side facing the church 
was well-lighted because the shrines of the Madonna and 
St. Joe were there, and the spotlights bounced off the 
white sculptures. On the other side, where we crept up, 
the convent was separated from the school by a fenced-
in garden, about 50 feet across, with an asphalt drive 
between that and the side entrances of the school.

This was no picket fence; it was a chain-link that went 
up at least 12 feet. No barbed wire on top, though. I 
think it was high because kids played pinner against 
the school walls at lunch sometimes and they didn't 
want balls bouncing in, but the story we kids told was 
that a few of the nuns were crazy and the fence was 
there to keep them from escaping. 

There were some floodlights on the school side of the 
driveway, and we stuck close to the fence to stay out 
of their glow, me right behind Eddie. I still didn't 
know what we were doing, but I was scared and looking 
back and forth all the time expecting something 
terrible. All of a sudden I look behind me and when I 
look back Eddie's disappeared, and I almost pissed my 
pants. 

Then I hear a hiss and I'm afraid I did, but it's only 
Eddie and he's on the other side of the fence. There 
was a burrow about a foot deep at that point and I 
don't know whether it was from a dog or Eddie had been 
making preparations, although, given Eddie's IQ, I 
wouldn't figure him for the planning type. 

That impression of Eddie's abilities was increased a 
few hours later. It must have been around 10 or 11; 
most of the lights in the convent were out. We'd been 
squatting on the ground and when Eddie started to move 
I couldn't get my legs working right away. By the time 
I caught up to him he was at the convent wall. 

In a whispered conversation I found out that Eddie's 
entire plan for the evening consisted of getting into 
the convent through a basement window he'd noticed they 
left half-open most nights. After that, he said, we'd 
"wing it." I expressed some doubts as to the 
effectiveness of that, but Eddie ignored me and slunk 
along the wall until he'd found the open window. 
Shaking my head, I followed, going in on a wing and a 
prayer. 

I guess if you're in a convent any old prayer will be 
answered, because we managed to get into the place 
without knocking anything over. It was pitch black and 
musty, though, and I had a feeling that I didn't want 
to know just how many spider webs we were going through 
as we felt our way around. I was the one who found the 
stairs, which at first I thought were shelves tipping 
over. Luckily I was by then way too scared even to 
squeak, and I just gasped waiting for the crash. 

There was no particular logic in going up the stairs, 
but then we were way past logic at that stage anyway. 
If we were going to do anything to get back at Sister 
Margaret, we sure weren't going to accomplish it in the 
dark of the basement. 

Having watched too many detective stories on TV, we 
knew enough to keep to the sides of the steps to avoid 
creaks. There was no light coming from under the door 
at the top, so we eased it open and crawled out onto a 
thin rug. Now we could make some things out in the dim 
light slipping through the drawn blinds. We were in the 
convent's kitchen, which was at the back. We slipped 
off our shoes and slid across the linoleum. 

At the far end was a set of stairs leading up. They 
formed one wall of a long hallway that went all the way 
to the front. As I was looking down the hall at a small 
table-lamp beside the front door, I saw something move. 
A little shiver ran over me, and it turned to a full 
shake when I realized it was the hand of a nun sitting 
by the front door, turning the page of a book. 

Eddie had already started up the stairs, but I tugged 
at his shirt and he came back to me. I pointed down the 
hall and was about to whisper a suggestion that we get 
out when we heard steps. We both looked up the stairs 
but couldn't make out anything; by the time we looked 
back toward the front we could hear Sister Margaret's 
rasp. "I'll take over now, Sister Juliet," she said. 
"Mustn't miss your beauty sleep." It didn't sound like 
a nice thing to say. That was the first time I realized 
nuns didn't always stick together. 

Sister Juliet went upstairs. Sister Margaret, to our 
dismay, didn't settle into the chair. She paced up and 
down by the front door for a minute or two. Eddie and I 
squeezed onto the stairs leading up, peeking around a 
banister one in awhile. "Maybe this wasn't such a good 
idea," he whispered right in my ear, and I wanted to 
tell him that was a brilliant deduction. 

But just then I looked around and saw Sister Margaret 
heading our way and I pushed Eddie up the stairs just 
as water pipes somewhere in the building started 
pounding. I would have settled for a few seconds' grace 
from a toilet flush, but this must have been a faucet 
because the noise kept going long enough for us to get 
all the way up the stairs. 

Well, almost all the way up the stairs. The pipes 
quieted with a final thump just as I was about to put 
one foot onto the second-floor landing. In the quiet 
that seemed to drape the whole building then, the creak 
of that last step when I lifted my other foot sounded 
like a siren. I froze -- not the smartest move, because 
I was off-balance and my foot slapped back onto the 
stair, loosing another high-pitched squeak. By now my 
heart was pounding and I couldn't think. Eddie was in 
the same state, but here's where our different natures 
showed themselves. 

Where my initial impulse in danger was to lie low, 
Eddie was a man of action. In this case, that action 
was to take off running down the hallway directly in 
front of us. I just crouched down and peeked out from 
behind my hands. I saw Eddie disappearing into the 
darkness. You might think I was weighing my 
alternatives, plotting out a foolproof escape. No way. 
But when I saw Eddie start to turn a corner I moved 
instinctively, slipping down a hallway to my left. A 
door there was ajar; I stepped inside and leaned 
against the wall. 

Only then did it occur to me that I shouldn't have been 
able to see Eddie at all. The mystery of his visibility 
in the darkness was quickly solved when I heard steps 
moving closer and Sister Margaret's unmistakable voice 
beseeching a variety of saints to do very uncharitable 
things to this vile Satanic spawn she had captured, and 
on like that. She was almost screeching and I could 
hear doors opening all around me and nuns whispering 
back and forth. Looking back, it seems odd that they 
bothered whispering given that Sister Margaret was 
raising the devil at the top of her lungs, but I guess 
it was force of habit. 

At the time, I was just worried about being discovered. 
I was safe for the moment; a quick glance assured me 
the small bed in the room was empty, and with just a 
chest of drawers and a straight-backed wooden chair as 
the only other furniture, it wasn't like there was any 
place someone could be hiding. Nor, I realized, was 
there anyplace I could hide if anyone looked inside. 
The bright angle of light from the hallway was enough 
to tell that. 

Outside, several nuns were shushing Sister Margaret and 
jabbering at Eddie at the same time. Give him his due, 
the kid was a trooper; he didn't squeal. 

Before long all the talking resolved itself into a 
decision to call Eddie's folks, and the pastor, and the 
cops. Awful as all that sounded, I had a feeling Eddie 
would rather take his lumps from any of those three 
than face the wrath of Sister Margaret. 

As the group moved away, I had time to look around the 
room some more. It was kind of like how I'd figured it: 
bare walls, no decoration but a crucifix on one wall. 
Not even a mirror. There was a single bookshelf on the 
wall above the bed, about half-full. I couldn't make 
out the titles; the light through the curtains on the 
one window was too dim and the light from the door 
stopped short. But that window seemed to grow brighter 
as I stared at it and realized it might be my only way 
out. I was about to head for it when I heard a creak 
right next to my ear and saw the room's door begin to 
open. 

I flattened against the wall and considered my options. 
I didn't have any. The only thing going for me was that 
I was on the hinge side of the door; if someone just 
opened it and looked inside I'd be out of sight. I 
thought I'd won that small grace when the door stopped 
halfway. 

"Sister Juliet!" Sister Margaret's voice sounded so 
close I thought she was in the room with me. "How many 
times must you be told you must wear your full habit at 
all times when outside your room?" 

"Yes, sister," my homeroom teacher said, and though her 
voice was soft I realized she was even closer. "But I 
was just washing up..." 

"No excuses before God, sister! What if that despicable 
devil who invaded our sanctuary had seen you!" 

"What devil? What was that commotion I heard?" 

Sister Margaret explained, at length and including some 
involved words that I don't think get used much anymore 
outside of exorcisms. She rounded out the story and was 
working her way back to Sister Juliet's clothes while 
sweat trickled down my neck. I was glancing around the 
room, looking for any kind of hiding place, when I 
noticed the bare light bulb in the middle of the 
ceiling. I could just make out the fuzzy outline of the 
faint shadow it cast. I decided that if the light went 
on I would make an immediate dash for the window. 

The chances of my getting there, getting the window 
open and climbing out before anyone got to me were 
slim, but maybe I would get lucky; maybe the window was 
already open. Weren't those drapes moving ever so 
slightly? I figured that with two giant steps and a 
leap I could clear the sill, if the blinds didn't 
tangle me up. OK, I'd have to yank them aside. And 
then, well, wasn't there a small porch on the back of 
the convent? How far a drop could it be? 

Brave plans. But outside the door, the talking had 
stopped and the door was beginning to open. I didn't 
wait for the light to go on. My instincts kicked in. 

I crawled around the dresser to my left and huddled in 
the corner. What can I say? My instincts had kept me 
safe so far. 

If Sister Juliet had flipped on the light, I'm sure I 
would have screamed. Maybe it's a nun thing, but she 
left the light out. I went through a long line of 
saints, promising each one months of prayer and good 
works, if only I could somehow, some way, get out of 
this. Meanwhile Sister Juliet closed the door behind 
her and I swear she looked right at me. Only the time 
it took her eyes to adjust from the hallway light to 
the darkened room may have saved me. 

I was concentrating on breathing as slowly and quietly 
as I could, but my mind was telling me there was 
something odd about the nun. I couldn't figure it out; 
she looked, as far as I could see in the faint light, 
the same as usual, same habit, same -- that was it. The 
same habit, same veil, the works. What was that breach 
of propriety Sister Margaret was yapping about? Just 
then the light in the hallway snapped off, and in the 
split second that it did my eyes went to the floor and 
I saw the awful omission that could have, as Sister 
Margaret said, put Eddie into an occasion of sin if he 
had seen it: Sister Juliet was barefoot. I felt as if 
she and I were allies now, against Sister Margaret. 

Not that I considered for a second pointing that out, 
or saying or doing anything else to draw attention to 
myself. I stayed huddled in my corner. 

Sister Juliet had moved to the far side of the room and 
seemed to be doing something underneath her habit; all 
I could see was some vague motion. Then some white 
cloth appeared in her hand and she placed it on the 
chair beside her. 

In the years since I have done a bit of reading on the 
subject, and if you cared I could explain in great 
detail the name, placement and purpose of every piece 
of cloth that appeared in the next few minutes. Suffice 
it to say that nuns in those days were more heavily 
armored than football players. In fact, with the way 
the starch made the shoulders of the tunic stick out 
and the way the rope cinched around their waists drew 
in the cloth, nuns back then looked a lot tougher than 
linemen. A lot has changed for both sides since then. 

I had a vague inkling that what I was seeing was much 
more like a real occasion of sin than Eddie's potential 
sighting of naked toes. A certain feeling in my groin 
added to my certainty. Maybe for some boys the thought 
of a naked nun is a turn-on, but up until then I had 
only thought of wool and beads as a uniform and nuns 
as, well, nuns. Now I realized all that cloth was just 
clothing and nuns were real people -- real women -- and 
they were naked underneath. Even if I got out of this 
alive, I knew, the last few days of class would never 
be the same. 

Sister Juliet walked over to the bed now, just a few 
feet from me. But she didn't look in my direction; she 
just picked up a pile of white cloth that unfolded into 
what looked like a long nightgown as she shook it 
loose. She still looked the same on the outside, with 
the habit and veil, but I knew there was actual honest-
to-goodness skin underneath. 

Only it didn't look like I was going to see anyway, 
because Sister slipped the nightgown on over her habit. 
This was getting just plain weird. Since that time, 
I've read that nuns were taught these overly prim 
dressing methods as part of their training. In fact, 
Sister Juliet's routine was a bit more liberal than 
some I've read about. I gather the idea was that even 
the sight of her own body was too tempting for a nun to 
see, which makes you wonder just how they went to the 
bathroom. Well, don't. It's every bit as silly as you'd 
think. 

Silly is also the word that came to mind that night as 
Sister Juliet seemed to struggle with her habit under 
the nightgown. I'm not sure, but she might even have 
sworn under her breath once or twice when her arm got 
tangled up. Finally, with a sigh, she lifted the gown 
off and tossed it onto the chair. Arms free again, she 
undid some knots and began to lift the bulky black 
habit over her head. 

It was not lost on me as the hem of the habit rose 
higher that I was seeing a nun's legs, and that soon I 
could be seeing a lot more. But my survival instinct 
finally turned from hide to hie, and I hied right over 
the bed heading for the window. 

Did I mention that puberty had left me a bit, well, 
ungainly? Do you know what would happen if an ungainly 
13-year-old tried to leap over a small bed in one 
bound? In the dark? With a now large and definitely 
rigid penis to distract him? 

It wasn't pretty. 

The fall came in slow motion, or at least slow enough 
for me to wrap my arms around my head before I tumbled 
onto the corner of the bed and then rolled onto the 
floor. 

Sister Juliet got a bit tangled up in her habit, but 
she was loose by the time I got back on my feet. She 
looked right at me, but neither of us had a chance to 
speak before there was a knock on the door. It was 
Sister Margaret, demanding to know what was going on. I 
stood stock still. Sister Juliet looked at me and 
slowly turned to the door. "Nothing, Sister Margaret," 
she whispered. "I just stumbled." 

With a crack about stumbling from the path, Sister 
Margaret went away, grumbling. Sister Juliet put a 
finger to her lips and held it there for a minute. 

"She's gone now," the young nun said. "You're safe, for 
now." 

Lives there a boy who could carry on an intelligent 
conversation with a naked nun? And a very beautiful 
naked nun, at that. Sister Juliet's skin seemed almost 
to glow, it was so pale. The light from the window, 
filtered by the drapes and blinds, caressed her like 
moon-glow. She stood about 5-4, I'd guess, several 
inches shorter than me, but her legs seemed longer than 
mine, or maybe it was the way the light hit her hip.

She was slim, which I would've guessed, although with 
the sack habits you could never be sure. Turned toward 
me, what lay between her legs was in shadow, but the 
light caught the side of one breast, one perfect, round 
breast. She wore nothing but her veil, black cloth that 
covered her hair and hung down just between her 
shoulder blades; the starched white piece that ran 
across her forehead let some hair escape, as usual. 

Maybe it was because nuns aren't used to being nude, 
but Sister Juliet didn't try to cover herself at all. 
Her hands were on her hips, the same way she faced us 
in class on those afternoon when we'd been a little 
rowdy and needed settling down. 

I was fully clothed, except for my shoes, which I still 
clung to, but I felt the urge to cover myself. It could 
have been my boner or it could have been a reaction to 
Sister's nudity; I don't know. 

Whatever, Sister Juliet didn't seem to notice. When I 
didn't respond to her question, she went on whispering, 
telling me that Sister Margaret was on the alert so I 
probably couldn't get out the back way. Did I have a 
suggestion? My classroom self kicked in and I raised my 
hand; she smiled and nodded for me to speak. 

The window, I hissed. The drop, she warned. The porch, 
I explained. 

She pulled back the drapes and carefully raised the 
blinds. I was standing next to her now, and when her 
bare arm brushed mine I thought I'd swoon. She didn't 
seem to notice, but went right on raising the blinds 
and then slipped the latches on the window. It occurred 
to me that her room was almost as well secured as her 
body had been by all those layers. I was just glad 
summer hadn't arrived yet and the screens weren't up. 

We had to pull together to get the window to budge, and 
then we both stopped at the same second when it broke 
free and started to fly up. It was lucky we did, for 
that's just when the dogs barked. 

I slipped to the left of the window; Sister jumped to 
the right. We both slipped our heads around the sill 
and looked down. 

The pastor kept two Dobermans, animals so lean you 
could see every muscle rippling beneath the skin. They 
were what we used to scare the first-graders with: If 
you don't say everything right in Confession, Father'll 
know and he'll throw you to the dogs. Now these two 
land sharks were right below us. We could hear the 
pastor, old Father Joe, talking to someone -- probably 
Sister Margaret, who was rapidly becoming my personal 
avenging angel. "I'll keep the dogs out for at least a 
few hours, Sister," he said. "The boys could use a 
little exercise. Don't you worry, no one's going to try 
to get into the convent with them around." 

Or try to get out, either, I decided. 

Sister must have agreed, because she motioned to me and 
we silently slid the window closed; she ran down the 
blinds and pulled the drapes back into place. 

We sat down on the edge of her bed. My mind was into 
complete overload: bed, nun, nude. On the other hand: 
dogs, Sister Margaret, my parents. Should I have been 
paying more attention to the class about the Last 
Rites? Could there possibly be a more extreme unction, 
whatever an unction was, than the situation I was in? 

It was a reasonably warm night, but I was now shivering 
full-bore and my teeth were even chattering. Sister put 
her arm around me and hugged me to her, whispering for 
me to calm down. Calm down? Sister Juliet's left breast 
was now smack dab against the side of my right arm. I 
looked down and I could see both breasts, and even -- 
no, that couldn't be -- yes, a dark triangle in her lap 
that I recognized from the Playboy I'd seen once over 
the shoulder of one of the cooler kids before the gang 
had elbowed me out of the way. 

Sex education being what it was back then, I had come 
to the conclusion that the fur must be what the guys 
called a pussy. Seemed logical at the time. I had a 
notion that there must be something else to it, because 
they talked about "putting it inside her," and the 
hairy patch had seemed too short to go inside of, but 
then the guys weren't very strong on grammar so who 
knew? There were a lot of mysteries to their language. 
To this day I don't know exactly what they meant when 
they said they had "made out," even though I'm betting 
I've done it myself a few times. 

The point is, I could now see as much of Sister Juliet 
as I had ever seen of any woman, and that had been just 
on paper. This was flesh. Warm flesh, I noted, as her 
breast rode against my arm. Soft, warm flesh. 

Somewhere along the line as we had tried the window my 
cock had deflated -- I'd guess it was when the dogs 
showed up -- but now it was rising again, bending 
painfully against my briefs and jeans. I swear the 
original Levi must have been a eunuch; those things 
always seem to get smaller the bigger you get, and that 
zipper is surely the nastiest, sharpest, roughest thing 
anyone but a masochist would ever put near his cock. 

In short, I had stopped shivering but was now cringing 
in pain as Sister quietly went over the situation like 
it was a classroom lesson. The window was out; the dogs 
were a cinch for at least a couple of hours, and we 
both knew there was no way a klutz like me could outrun 
them even if I had a full block lead. The doors were 
out; if Sister Margaret didn't get me I'd still have 
the dogs. I suggested the basement window and hiding in 
the garden, figuring there was no point in keeping our 
entry a secret now. 

Sister Juliet briefly considered the possibility of 
staging a diversion that would keep Sister Margaret 
occupied while I slipped away. But we both agreed that 
there was no real cover in the garden, and if the dogs 
caught a whiff of me I'd be a goner. My only chance, 
Sister Juliet said, was to wait until around 5 a.m. By 
then Fr. Joe would surely have called it quits, and 
that's when Sister Margaret was due to be relieved by 
old Sister Ardethine. She was half-blind and totally 
deaf, so I should have no problem sneaking out the back 
way when she was guarding the front. It would still be 
dark enough for me to get away; I assured Sister I 
could stay out of trouble until it was a reasonable 
hour for me to go back home. 

That meant a wait of just about six hours, but I wasn't 
going to quibble at the delay. I was so relieved to 
have a solution that didn't involve my being ripped 
into pieces by slavering Dobermans that I slipped my 
hand around Sister's back and gave her a big hug. 

A real big hug. Before I knew what I was doing, my arms 
were wrapped around Sister Juliet's naked torso, her 
breasts crushed against my chest. I felt the starchy 
cloth of her headpiece against my cheek. It was a 
wonderful moment. 

Which, naturally, I ruined by becoming overbalanced and 
tipping us both over onto our backs. We rolled toward 
each other and Sister Juliet's smooth face was just an 
inch or so from mine as I stared directly into her 
eyes. I could feel her breath. 

I could also feel a pain in my right arm, trapped at an 
odd angle beneath her. I said something suave, like 
"Ow," and she lifted herself up slightly so I could 
pull free. On the way out my hand slid along her 
breast. My thumb made contact with her nipple, which 
was now stiff. I would like to say that my strong 
religious upbringing caused me to remove my hand at 
once and say a few Acts of Contrition, but actually I -
- well, I squeezed. It was my first breast, and I 
wasn't going to let it go so easily. 

What was going through Sister's head then I cannot 
know, but I suspect that's when she finally realized 
she was naked in bed with an eighth grade boy. I 
further suspect that they never covered this 
eventuality in nun school, because she didn't do a 
thing. Her eyes opened wide and she moaned a little, 
which I'm not vain enough to think was a tribute to my 
skillful manipulation of her tit, but she didn't pull 
away. 

My hormones decided that the absence of a "no" was as 
good as a "yes," and my left hand swung over and placed 
itself gently on Sister Juliet's other breast. I now 
had two handfuls of firm but yielding nun flesh and if 
I thought my cock was in agony before, that was nothing 
compared with the pain as the engorged tool strained 
against my constricting jeans. No pain, no gain, I 
thought, as I continued to massage Sister's breasts, 
rubbing my thumbs over the nipples. "We shouldn't," she 
whispered, but she still wasn't moving, and she was 
looking me right in the eye. 

Her pale lips were parted slightly. In the dim light 
her face looked like one of the angels in the Madonna 
shrine, all smooth graceful curves. I leaned forward 
and kissed her lightly. 

There are patron saints for all sorts of things, but 
I'm pretty sure there is no saint whose job is to watch 
over oversexed teenagers putting the moves on nuns. If 
that's true, I don't know how to explain my actions 
that night, because I went into Sister Juliet's room a 
social misfit who had no sexual experience and little 
knowledge. But somehow I managed to avoid doing 
anything really stupid that would have broken the 
moment. Maybe it was because I was so scared; maybe 
some remnant of the respect I'd been trained to have 
for nuns was translating my raging hormones into gentle 
caresses. Or maybe even a nun can get hot enough to 
ignore her lover's fumbling. 

Whatever the reason, there was no interruption and my 
light kiss turned into another and another and got 
longer and longer. My hands moved up and down Sister 
Juliet's silken body, sliding around the delicious 
curves of her legs and over the incredibly lush mounds 
of her ass. About the time we discovered tongue-
kissing, Sister slid one long, lithe leg over mine and 
I silently shot a load into my briefs. 

I had done the deed before, of course, mostly to erotic 
fantasies about one or another of the Gabor sisters. So 
sue me; I like accents. The point is, I knew that what 
I had was called an orgasm -- it's amazing what you can 
learn from a collegiate dictionary -- but I wasn't 
entirely sure whether coming in my jeans met the strict 
definition of "having sex." I knew that doing it by 
yourself didn't, but after all, there was a woman in 
the room. 

A rather aroused woman by that point, too. Sister 
Juliet had slipped her hands underneath my t-shirt and 
was rubbing them up and down my hairless chest as her 
leg wrapped itself around my waist. In between two of 
our hot kisses, she grabbed my cotton shirt and pulled 
it over my head, flinging it aside. Later on I found it 
draped over the crucifix. That might be irony, even 
though it was a wooden cross. 

Sister's tits pressed right into my skin then, and my 
arms held her to me tightly. Our kisses were broken now 
only when we had to take a breath, or when we each went 
in search of tender flesh, kissing and licking each 
other's necks, shoulders, cheeks. Sister slid her 
tongue into my ear and I almost screamed; I returned 
the favor and her gentle kisses on my shoulder turned 
into an out-and-out bite. 

We were driving each other crazy, but I still had my 
pants on and my hands hadn't been anywhere near 
Sister's G spot, or any other part of her erotic 
alphabet except her tits and her ass. It was a case of 
the blind leading the blind, or at least the blind 
doing the blind. We'd run over first base and second 
and rounded third, but we couldn't seem to find home 
plate. 

Sister got us started in the right direction when her 
hand stroked over my hip and landed, by accident I'm 
sure, on top of my still rigid member. I groaned, 
softly, or she might have just kept going. Instead, she 
began rubbing up and down and I had to break our kiss 
as my head fell back and my breath came in short, sharp 
gasps. I fumbled at my belt and yanked it loose while 
Sister kept up her massage. I was so horny that I tried 
to pull my jeans off without even unzipping them first. 
Sister helped, then, and I kicked my pants off as her 
soft hands molded themselves to my cock, still inside 
my soaked briefs. 

We were still dancing on the base-paths, though. I had 
bent my head down to take one of Sister Juliet's tits 
into my mouth and I was suckling it while one hand 
twiddled the other nipple; she was giving me a hand job 
through my underwear and twisting her legs madly, but 
it didn't get serious until, as I was caressing her 
flat stomach, my hand reached the edge of her fur patch 
and kept going and suddenly one of my fingers slid 
home. 

I wasn't the smartest kid in the class for nothing. I 
realized in a flash just what the guys did when they 
"put it in," and I had no doubt that what they put in 
was no finger. 

Sister got the idea, too, because she immediately 
pulled my briefs off. I'm no super stud, and my cock is 
nothing more than average size and thickness, but I 
guess to a nun even a pencil dick would have been a big 
deal. Anyway, Sister gasped when my tool popped free, 
which alone gave me enough self-confidence to get all 
the way through four years of high school gym classes. 

I slipped off my socks, too -- why, I don't know -- but 
Sister still had her veil on and I've got to admit, on 
her at that moment it was incredibly sexy. 

Sister had rolled completely over onto her back and 
spread her legs wide. I crawled between them, my cock 
hanging down, until I felt the tip make contact with 
her wetness. I tried several quick lunges then, but 
missed the mark and rode up onto her belly. This sex 
thing was not as obvious as it seemed. Sister was 
wriggling underneath me, which didn't make my aim any 
easier. I even tried grabbing hold of my tool and 
poking away, but the dark and my eagerness plus my 
complete and utter inexperience produced nothing but 
some frustrating, albeit still exciting, misfires. 

Finally Sister reached down herself and guided me in, 
holding my cock steady at her entrance while she rubbed 
up and down against it. I wasn't sure if I was going in 
or just wishing I was until the ridge of the tip popped 
up into her and there was no longer any room for doubt. 

Nor much room for my cock, either. Sister was extremely 
tight, though at the time I had no grounds for 
comparison. Her sugar walls gripped me like a vise, and 
I was afraid to push in any further for fear I'd hurt 
something. 

Sister Juliet stood that only so long before she began 
humping up at me, urging me deeper. Her breath came in 
hot puffs and her hands gripped my ass tightly until I 
got with the program and began to stroke. A couple of 
inches in or so, I ran into a definite roadblock, and 
this time even Sister didn't seem eager to ram through. 
We stopped the motion there, with my cock half-buried 
in her, and turned our attention back to kissing and 
groping. Sweat was already pooling on her chest and her 
breasts were salty when I licked them each in turn. 

At last we could take no more. I began to stroke again, 
slowly, at the same instant as Sister's ass started to 
squirm under me. In three strokes I was at the 
obstruction again; three more and I was through, with a 
slight whimper from Sister. She clutched me for a 
minute, her legs wrapped so tightly around me that I 
couldn't move, her fingers digging into my sweaty back. 
Gradually, she relaxed, and we moved in synch, one 
thrust answered with another. My cock plunged deeper 
and deeper into her hot, wet hole until I bottomed out, 
my sparse pubic hairs grinding against her more 
luxuriant patch. 

We'd probably been wrestling on the bed for a half-hour 
by then, but we hadn't said more than a dozen words. 
Now Sister pulled my head down to her, our bodies 
sliding easily together. "Oh, sweet Jesus," she sighed 
in my ear. "Sweet mother, yes, child, just like that. 
Oh, God!" 

She was, I don't know, 20-something, and I was just 13, 
but we were equally naive and maybe that's why we fit 
so well. My cock slid into her tunnel with perfect 
timing, and she seemed to know just when to hump back 
to squeeze out an extra iota of ecstasy. But it wasn't 
all by instinct on my part; she helped, coaching me: 
slower, faster, harder; warning me to relax and just 
hold her now and then. Our passion stretched out 
endlessly and I seemed to feel every nerve ending on my 
tool tingling. We kissed again, hungrily, and it was 
like the kisses were now more important than breathing. 

"Harder, now, harder!" Sister whispered in my ear, and 
I slammed into her. "More, more!" she gasped, and I 
lifted almost all the way out and drove it home, again 
and again. The bed began to shake under us, but almost 
before it began Sister Juliet's legs clamped around me, 
and a few seconds later her fingers clawed into my 
back. I heard her catch her breath, and then her body 
went rigid. For a minute or more I couldn't move, 
wrapped inside her, as she convulsed over and over, 
each wave tumbling into the next. 

I rode her like a body surfer, hanging on while her 
legs spread wide and she bucked and heaved. "Blessed 
Virgin, yes!" she sighed at last as she came to rest 
and brought her knees up again, sheltering me. 

I let her rest a few minutes, but my cock was still 
hard and I needed some release. Slowly, gently, I began 
to stroke again. Her tunnel was soaked, and friction 
was hard to find, so I jiggled from side to side, 
twisting in. Sister purred and so I kept it up, a 
steady rhythm that she passively accepted, drilling her 
sopping wet hole.

Sweat was streaming into my eyes and my hair was 
plastered to my forehead; I could feel the water pour 
off me when Sister Juliet slid her hands down to my ass 
and pushed me deeper in. My knees gave out and I was 
supporting myself only on my arms, but ecstasy overcame 
exhaustion. In and out, like a metronome, until at last 
I felt something building. 

In all my solo sessions, even when I had creamed while 
Sister and I were petting, I had never had a feeling 
like that. Those other times it had come on quickly and 
was over in a second. Now it built and built, and twice 
I felt myself dangling on the edge for so 
excruciatingly long that I had to stop; the feeling was 
too intense. 

At last, the feeling crested and I knew this was it. 
"Sister, Sister, Sister," I hissed over and over as my 
strokes grew slower and deeper until the explosion 
came, and so did I. The hot jism felt like fire and the 
pumping kept going and going, and when it was over, 
instead of disappearing at once, my hard-on slowly 
ebbed. Finally it was done, and all of a sudden I could 
feel the ache in my arms and I rolled onto my side. 
Sister rolled over to face me. When I put out my hand 
to her, I could feel the sheets soaking wet beneath 
her. 

"Is that all?" Sister Juliet asked. My mouth fell open. 
All? I'd suddenly gone from being the only boy in 
eighth grade who didn't know what a nookie was to being 
the only one -- well, I was pretty sure, anyway -- 
who'd ever had sex with an older woman. And a nun. My 
mind was already blown six ways to Sunday and this 
woman wanted more? 

Yeah, she did. "It's only 1:15," she said with a smile 
that melted me. The one thing about Sister Juliet that 
really kept us guys from stepping over that line from 
rowdy to downright misbehaving was that smile. Tiny 
dimples formed and her eyes glistened and it made you 
feel warm all over. Once, in the second week of school 
that year, a few guys had gotten into a spitball fight. 
It was the usual thing when we ran into a nun new to 
the school, testing out the limits, and Sister Juliet 
had never yelled at us or hit anyone or done any of the 
other things the real tyrant nuns did, so these guys 
must have figured they had free rein. 

Sister stopped the fight by walking right into the 
middle of it. She didn't say a word, then or ever, 
about what those guys had done. But for the next two 
weeks we didn't see that smile again in class. That was 
when we -- or at least I -- realized what we were 
missing. It was the smile that set Sister Juliet apart 
from the other nuns, even Mother Superior, who was no 
tyrant herself. But Mother Superior's smile was just a 
smile, just a pat on the head. Sister Juliet's smile 
was like the sun after a rainy morning, and you 
expected rainbows to appear on the walls and the sweet 
smell of flowers opening. 

Now that smile was directed full force at me. How I 
could see it all so clearly in the still darkened room 
I'll never know. I guess my memory filled in the 
details. But with that smile Sister had already 
convinced me. 

Unfortunately, the smile could lift my spirits but it 
couldn't lift my cock. She massaged it, rubbed her leg 
against it, to no effect. 

Sister's smile was beginning to fade. I tried to think 
sexy thoughts, but I had to give it up. What could be 
sexier than the body of Sister Juliet wrapped around 
mine? If that reality wouldn't work, no fantasy could. 

The only thing I could think of was to give Sister at 
least a little satisfaction. This time when my fingers 
found her cleft, they were there to stay. It was hot 
and slippery, even a little bit sticky, and I didn't 
know enough about anatomy to know what I was looking 
for, but I stuck my middle finger inside and Sister 
fell back against the sheets again. 

With my left hand busy down below, my right reached out 
to her breast. Once again I felt its soft weight, and 
her nipple grew rigid under my touch. All the while I 
was driving my finger into her hole, and quiet, 
guttural moans as her head rolled back and forth told 
me that was the right thing. When my thumb discovered a 
hard bump at the entrance to her valley, her legs 
closed around my arm so tight they cut off the 
circulation for a second. She kept clenching and 
unclenching them as I worked away. "So good, so good," 
she said, and it sounded like when she was rewarding me 
for a good answer in class. 

I was concentrating on my manipulations so much that I 
missed it the first time Sister said it: "Look who's 
back," she said again, and I looked. Like a dark 
flagpole, my cock stood tall again against the shadows. 

"Hallelujah," Sister Juliet whispered. I tried to rise 
onto her again, but when my arm buckled under me she 
rolled me onto my back and took control. 

She rose onto her knees and straddled me. Between the 
twin mounds of her breasts I could see her smiling at 
me again, the white band of her veil like a halo around 
her. As gentle as a saint, she moved forward until my 
cock was rubbing against her pubic patch. She began to 
move against me, smearing my balls with the ooze from 
her hole. Her tits bounced enticingly and I reached up 
and took hold of them. In a moment Sister lifted her 
body up and I felt the warmth of her tunnel at the tip 
of my cock. She came down slowly, agonizingly slowly, 
and she fit me like a hand in a glove. I nearly swooned 
from the now-familiar sensation as she took me all the 
way in. 

She held me like that as my hands played with her 
globes. Then she bent down and kissed me full and hard, 
our lips pressing together while our tongues darted 
back and forth. Her nipples tapped on my chest, and I 
wanted to push into her but her ass had me pinioned. 

I wrapped my hands around the back of her headpiece, 
pulling her to me, but this was her time. All too soon 
for me she rose up again. 

Then, in a move that took my breath away, she rose 
excruciatingly slowly on my pole. I could feel the 
folds of her tunnel opening up and sliding along my 
tool, the coolness of the air as each centimeter of 
cock emerged from the opening in Sister Juliet. At the 
very top of her rise, with just the head of my cock 
inside her, Sister suddenly drove down, fast and hard. 
If it was possible for me to bury even deeper into her 
than before, I did it then. And over and over again, as 
she slammed herself against me. The bed shook, but 
nun's beds had no springs so there were no squeaks to 
give us away. 

The next day, I discovered that I'd bitten my lip hard 
enough to leave two deep indentations and a little raw 
flesh. I think it was then that I did it, with Sister 
plunging onto me so hard I thought the bed would 
collapse beneath us. My hands had worked their way down 
to the intoxicating curves of her hips, and I could 
feel her muscles tensing and letting go as she drove up 
and down. 

Again, and again, and again, and now it was sweet agony 
as every move turned the ridge of my cock's head into a 
flaming ring. My eyes were squeezed almost shut and my 
hands fell back onto the bed. I couldn't return 
Sister's thrusts; I could barely breath. This time, 
when she came, her walls contracted around my tool, so 
tight I thought I could never get loose. Tight and 
tighter, her muscles massaged my painfully rigid cock. 

Each second I was sure I could take it no longer. My 
fingers dug into the sheet, pulling it loose as I 
wadded it into my fists. I had to fight to draw a 
breath. My toes curled; the tendons in my legs 
stretched to the maximum. And then it was over. I was 
jelly, unable to move a muscle. It felt as if the skin 
on my face was sagging into puddles. 

And then again, Sister Juliet's tunnel closed on my 
cock, just for a few seconds of indescribable 
sensations. Blissful peace again, and then a surge. Her 
orgasm ebbed away slowly, and I think it was a full 10 
minutes before the last gentle throbbing ended. 

Sister's head hung down for a few seconds, before she 
came down, almost falling, on top of me. She had taken 
me in the middle of her small bed; 
I had to move aside to give her room to roll onto the 
sheets. She lay on her side briefly, but even that was 
too much, and I slid right to the end of the bed, 
rising onto my side as she slumped face down, arms 
curling around the one small pillow. 

I was, somehow, still erect, and the perfect globes of 
Sister Juliet's naked ass were too tempting. I rolled 
on top of her, my cock resting in the valley between 
those beautiful mounds. Stroking up and down, I kissed 
her slick back gently. She began to stir when I reached 
the nape of her neck, and a sigh escaped when my tongue 
found her ear. 

If I were given to boasting, I'd say I discovered anal 
sex then. Truth is the thought of putting my tool there 
would never have occurred to me, and if anyone had 
mentioned it I'm sure I would have been repulsed. (OK, 
the full truth is I've never done it to this day. 
Always had enough to keep myself occupied without it, I 
guess.) 

What did happen is that the combination of sweat and 
cum had Sister's ass so slippery that on one stroke my 
cock went down instead of forward, and we accidentally 
discovered doggie style. 

At first my cock just rode over the entrance to her 
tunnel, but Sister Juliet began to shimmy against it 
and from somewhere got the strength to rise onto her 
knees, waving that perfect butt up at me. It was easier 
to aim from that angle, and my pole slipped into her in 
one push. She was so lubricated by then, though, that I 
kept sliding out. 

I leaned forward and grabbed on to her breasts from 
behind, pushing my pole as deep into her as I could and 
restraining my movements to short strokes. That worked 
great, and we got back into a rhythm, twitching 
together. 

In this new position, I found a different kind of 
friction, too, helped along when Sister put one hand 
onto my cock, stroking it as it left her body. When she 
ran her fingertips along the bottom of it I almost 
shot, but I grimaced and held back, sliding back into 
her for a few moments to let the feeling pass. 

That gave me some extra time, but not much. A few short 
strokes later and I could feel the feeling again. I 
picked up the pace, pounding my cock into Sister 
Juliet. Long years in the Church must have given us 
strong knees, because neither one of us weakened 
despite what had become hours of passion. Sister's head 
was burrowed into her thin pillow, and her veil had 
become matted to her back. There wasn't a part of her, 
or me, that wasn't soaking wet and hot as flame. The 
sweat was running so hard I had to snort to clear my 
nose, and my knees were threatening to slip on the 
sheets, but I held on and continued to blast away. 

This time my orgasm was no explosion. As I reached the 
crest of sensations, my cock suddenly seemed to grow 
numb. I pushed in desperately and got a shadow of the 
old feeling, as if I were shooting blanks. My cock 
throbbed several times, I shook all over and then my 
muscles went weak again. It was over. 

We huddled then like spoons, Sister's ass pillowing my 
shrunken cock. The bed was a wet, cold mess, but we 
were beyond caring. I wrapped my right arm around her 
waist, my forefinger slipping into her navel. We moved 
only to let her tug her veil free from underneath my 
head, and then we both drifted off to sleep. 

It was still dark when I awoke, but I could smell 
something. Well, yeah, that, but something else, bitter 
and -- coffee! I was freaked; how was I going to get 
out now if all the nuns were downstairs for breakfast? 

Sister Juliet, who woke up and rubbed her eyes after I 
shook her, didn't seem as upset. She was sure it was 
only the pot of java Sister Margaret slipped on at the 
end of her shift. Like a lot of old people, the 
caffeine seemed more of a sleeping aid than a jolt to 
her, Sister said. But I was still worried, so Sister 
checked her watch, buried under the pile of clothes on 
her chair. It was 4:30. 

I got out of bed and gathered up my clothes. Sister 
Juliet, after wadding the sheet up and tossing it 
aside, got back on the bed. She kept reaching out after 
me and caressing my thighs or butt as I moved around. I 
was mostly concerned about getting out of there, but I 
guess she suspected this would be her last chance at 
anything and she didn't want to let it go so soon. 

I've got to admit, my spirit was willing, too. Sister 
Juliet's body glistened in the faint light like a 
garden of earthly delights, and the memory of being 
inside the nun's hot box was heavenly. But my flesh was 
way, way too weak -- at least the crucial piece of 
flesh, which hung down like a dead snake. 

My Eve grabbed the snake and tried rubbing it against 
the apples of her breasts, but it was nothing doing. 
She pouted as she looked down at it. I was 
disappointed, too, but time was passing too quickly and 
I still had to get dressed. 

Sister Juliet wouldn't let go, though, and insisted she 
had to kiss it goodbye. 

And so we discovered oral sex. I'd heard guys talking 
about a "blow job," and I'd even used the term myself, 
in a metaphorical sense, but I had only a guess at what 
it really meant. That it was more of a suck job than a 
blow became pretty darn obvious, though, when my cock 
began to respond to Sister's gentle kisses and she took 
it into her mouth. 

Since that time I've never had a woman volunteer to do 
it, and the few who have done it at my urging didn't 
appear to get very excited at the prospect. But Sister 
Juliet was almost worshiping my tool, inhaling it to 
the root even as it grew and stiffened. Only when I was 
at my limit was she unable to take it all in. 

Of all the things I've seen in my life, the one vision 
that I hope will stay with me to my dying day is what I 
saw looking down at Sister Juliet stretched out on the 
bed, one arm propping herself up while the other held 
my rigid member and guided it in and out of her soft 
lips. The way her cheek bulged as she took me in, and 
hollowed as she slowly slid me out. The times she 
looked up at me with doe eyes, gazing at me while my 
cock continued to slip in and out. Her legs writhing on 
the mattress, twisting around and over each other. The 
sparse hairs of my patch tickling her nose on the 
downstrokes. Incredible. 

With my cock now fully erect, I grabbed onto Sister's 
veil with both hands and began to pull her face toward 
me. I was too eager and she started to gag, and her 
headpiece was pulled askew. When I let up, she popped 
my penis out of her mouth and took a few deep breaths. 
I thought it was over. 

Instead, she reached back and undid the veil, shaking 
it free. Her blond hair was very short, almost as short 
as mine, and she looked boyish. But her body was no 
boy's, just every boy's dream. She rose off the bed and 
held me to her and we kissed again, hard and hungrily, 
as if it was the last time either one of us would ever 
do it again. I pressed my hands along the ridge of her 
back, into the dip at the bottom, clenching her firm 
butt as my cock pulsed against her belly. Her hands 
entwined themselves in my hair and pulled me deeper and 
deeper into the kiss. Time lost its meaning and the 
only thought in my head was of Sister Juliet and her 
sweet, sweet body. 

We did it that last time on the floor, on a bare cotton 
throw rug, with the one pillow from the bed folded 
double and bunched under Sister's ass. I entered her 
slowly again, and her flower opened up to me a petal at 
a time. When I was all the way in and her velvety 
tunnel closed around the base of my cock, I bent down 
to adore her breasts. I took each into my mouth again 
and again, licking the sides tantalizingly before 
reaching the center of passion at the tip. My tongue 
flicked against the nipple while my fingers memorized 
the curves and I soon had Sister moaning quietly. 

Now it was time again, and I began the motion, my hips 
bucking up and down as Sister returned the favor. It 
was all slow motion now, savoring every centimeter, 
till we were down to each individual nerve cell, it 
seemed, waiting for each one to fire out its message 
before pushing on to the next. "Glory, glory, glory," 
Sister Juliet sighed, and I answered, "Amen." 

At one point I lifted my torso up and swung her legs to 
my shoulders, narrowing her opening and creating new 
levels of ecstasy for us. My hands fluttered up and 
down the supple muscles of her thighs as I kept up the 
steady tattoo of my cock inside her. 

I dove between her feet again, and her legs locked 
around me as our passion continued. I was moving my 
cock from side to side now, scraping against her walls, 
but even that wasn't enough for her. Sister Juliet slid 
her own hand between us and I could feel her 
frantically fiddling with herself even as I drove in 
and out. 

At some point, without speaking, we rolled over, still 
joined. Sister was on top now, and I alternated between 
manhandling her bouncing tits and stroking at her love 
button as she rode me as hard as before. I could feel 
the juices pouring down my cock and all over my groin, 
but slick as she was Sister's passion was driving her 
fast enough to keep my cock entertained. 

Once again I let my hands fall back and just enjoyed it 
all, the delicious pain. Sister was pounding my prick 
so hard I was afraid that she'd miss the mark on a 
downstroke and bend it in two before I could do a 
thing, but the danger just made it more exciting. 

When she began to wear out, we shifted positions again. 
This time I sat on the floor with my back against the 
bed; Sister Juliet squatted over me and we ended our 
lovemaking as we had begun in, our lips pressed 
together, our tongues darting back and forth, lost in 
each other. 

Our thrusts slowed, bit by bit, until she was stopping 
on each upstroke with just the tip of the tip of my 
penis inside her, then sliding down, allowing me to 
feel her opening around me, slowly, slowly, swallowing 
me into her warmth, enrobing me in hot passion. Up, 
again, such sweet sorrow, and down. It was more than 
either one of us could take. 

I felt it again, that cliff's-edge feeling, and I 
warned her but she'd already sensed it somehow, and she 
was nearing her own peak, and we rushed up to it and 
slowed just at the edge, one last thrust, deep, deep 
inside, our bodies closer than ever, one flesh, one 
desire, and then the exultation, a hot river surging 
through me and into her body, gushing into her, as she 
shivered and shook, her muscles clenching and letting 
go, milking me dry. We let the moment linger, our real 
orgasms fading into just the memories so imperceptibly 
I couldn't tell when they really ended. 

I was spent, utterly spent, not tired or aching, just 
completely lifeless, my cock withering within Sister 
Juliet. I never wanted to leave her. 

But far too soon -- any shift would have been too soon, 
but this was wrenching -- we moved from the sublime to 
the ridiculous, for we heard voices outside in the 
hall. I jumped up and Sister groped for her watch: 
5:10. These were the early birds; in just five minutes 
every nun in the convent was to be up and about, 
preparing for the day. I scrambled into my clothes; 
Sister helped. She assured me she would be all right on 
her own, when I offered to help her with her habit. One 
sock dangling from a pocket and my shirt only half 
tucked-in, I got to the door and opened it a crack to 
peek outside. It looked clear. Carefully I began to 
edge it open more. From nowhere a shadow loomed and a 
knuckle rapped on the door. "Hurry, Sister Juliet," a 
voice whispered. "It's our day to cook, you know!" 

Behind me, Sister Juliet murmured something like an 
acknowledgement, but the shadow didn't go away. I 
looked back; Sister was wrapping bits of cloth all 
round her; the linen was sticking to her sweaty body. 
Glancing up and seeing the problem, she came to the 
door. "I'll be along in a minute, Sister Evangeline," 
she said, and the shadow moved away. 

Sister Juliet took me in her arms then, and we shared 
one last, searing soul kiss, a kiss we broke and 
resumed twice before the sounds of plumbing reminded us 
to hurry. Sister checked the hall this time; the coast 
was clear. I was out and down the stairs before I knew 
it, my heart thumping. A noise from above as I reached 
the bottom spooked me, and I didn't even stop to check 
if anyone was looking before I grabbed the back door, 
swung it open and ran off into the edge of dawn. 

Eddie never came back to school. Rumors said he'd done 
something awful to the nuns, but no one was sure what 
or when. I heard later that they'd given him his 
diploma anyway, but he spent the next couple of years 
in a military school. His parents moved away from the 
neighborhood without ever speaking to anyone about it. 
I never saw him again; the paper sack with his Scout 
uniform was still where we'd left it when I retrieved 
my duffel bag. 

Sometime in the year or so after our class graduated, 
Sister Juliet left the order. At the time I wondered if 
our one night had, you know, gotten her pregnant. But 
Mother Superior left about the same time. From stuff I 
heard from my parents later on and what I've read about 
Vatican II, my guess now is that they were on the 
losing end of a battle within their order, probably 
over something like shortening the hem on the habits to 
ankle-length or allowing nuns to use shorter veils that 
showed their ears. 

I never did get my revenge on Sister Margaret, or at 
least not the way I'd figured. The last penmanship 
classes were dropped, we all got "pass" grades, and she 
wasn't around when school started up the next fall. A 
friend of my mom's told her Sister Margaret had been 
sent to wherever they send senile old nuns. This was 
weird, because that's what I thought Ss. S&M was. And I 
couldn't get the full story because my mom's friends 
always slipped into whispers whenever they got to the 
good parts in stories, but apparently Sister Margaret 
kept insisting that the laundry smelled of sex, and 
they figured she'd lost it. 

As for me, well, I wandered through high school half in 
a daze, which is to say I acted like a normal teenage 
boy. Freshman year, getting pounded on by seniors and 
facing hours of homework every night, I lost my longing 
to be an ordinary kid. By the time I became one, in 
college, I really, really wanted to be a brainy stud. 
The brain part is lost forever, but in my sophomore 
year I finally made a woman my own age. I consider it 
the second time I lost my virginity. 

I still think about Sister Juliet. 

I wonder if she ever thinks about me. 

END

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This story was written as an adult fantasy. The author
does not condone the described behavior in real life.

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Kristen's collection - Directory 50