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--------------------------------------------------------
Copyright by Writerzblocked, 2003. All rights, well, 
you know. Repost and archive to your heart's content, 
just don't charge anyone for it or I'll have to send 
Harry Long after you. 
--------------------------------------------------------

New Year's Day at the Tittie Bar
by WZB (writerzblocked@aol.com)

***

Spending New Year's Day at the Tittie Bar (MF)

***

<slam> 

"Oh. Hey, Jack. Damn, it's freezing out there!" 

"Oh, hey there, Mr. Gilbeaux." 

"Bob." 

"OK, Bob." 

"Checked your stocking yet?" 

"Uh, no. Why? Is there money in there?" 

"Heh, you never know." 

"I'll go and check it on my break." 

"Pete said he missed a few new folks, so I brought some 
extras with me just in case. Who's back in VIP 
tonight?" 

"I dunno. A girl, hopefully." 

"Heh, well, yeah. Later." 

"Thanks, Mr. Gilbeaux." 

"Bob." 

"Uh, yeah." 

"OK, boys, right back atcha! Got two more Playgirls 
coming up on the stages! We got Carrie on Stage #1. 
Carrie, boys. Jasmine! Jasmine on Stage #2! Be sure to 
get around the stages and take care of these lovely 
ladies and show 'em just how you appreciate 'em doin' 
it just for you! Remember each and every one of these 
girls are available for private table dances, just grab 
one and haul 'em off to the dancing booths way back in 
the back there! Meanwhile, here's some Creed for you 
fellas!" 

"Hey, Joe, check your stocking?" 

"Why? Is there money in there?" 

"Heh, could be." 

"Right." 

"Hey, is Janet here tonight?" 

"Haven't seen her in a month." 

"Damn." 

"Last I heard, she went over to the Top Hat Club, but 
that was a couple of weeks ago." 

"Oh, well." 

"You see Ares recently?" 

"Her boyfriend said she couldn't dance anymore. I hope 
to hell HE'S paying her bills." 

"Yeah, she had kids, right?" 

"Yeah, two." 

"I really liked her. If you see her, tell her everyone 
misses her." 

"I got her phone number, but I don't want to cause any 
trouble." 

"Yeah." 

"Oh, well, you know who's back in VIP tonight?" 

"Not a clue. It's been a revolving door back there 
since the new policy." "Yeah. I was just getting used 
to Stormy. By the way, any idea what this Super Bowl 
promotion is all about?" 

"All I know is it's some sort of money giveaway." 

"And I thought the DJs RAN this club?" 

"Yeah, right. I just show up when they tell me, have a 
few beers, and try not to lose my voice." 

"Heh, just be sure to check your stocking before they 
throw 'em out." 

***

"HEEEEYYYYY!!!" 

"Hey, yourself. Where you been hiding, girl? It's been 
two weeks." 

"I've been in Dallas. I'm a nervous wreck." 

"Oh, yeah. How'd it go?" 

"The judge is supposed to make a decision sometime next 
week." 

"Mac go up there with you?" 

"Not this time. He's in Jamaica with the wife and 
kiddies." 

"Well, hopefully, this time next year, YOU'LL be in 
Jamaica with YOUR kiddies." 

"God, that would be SO cool! I'm a nervous wreck." 

"I bet. You work last night?" 

"Yeah. It was dead most of the night, but Johnny said 
we could skip the next three tip outs for showing up, 
so it wasn't all bad. I've got to make another thousand 
before next week and I don't know if Mac's going to be 
able to make it." 

"Well, if anyone can do it, darlin', you can." 

"Speaking of which, are you going to be around long?" 

"I'm going to eat, but I have to go in tonight." 

"OK, I'll see you around then." 

"Sure thing. Good luck." 

"Thanks. I'm a nervous wreck. I need some wine." 

***

"Hey, cutie!" 

"Oh, HI, Bob!" 

"Did you check your stocking?" 

"Yeah. Oh, was that YOU?!!" 

"Yeah, I didn't know there were so many employees in 
this place until I started counting. It took almost 
four boxes of cards." "Wow. That was SO nice of you!" 

"Heh, I mainly stopped in tonight to make sure everyone 
got one and opened 'em. 

Joe and the door guy both looked at me and asked if 
there was money in them." "Oh, that's SO funny! When I 
got mine, I opened it at the beginning of my shift when 
there wasn't anyone here. The money fell on the floor 
and everyone started running to the counter to check 
theirs. It was really funny." 

"Heh, I bet. It's just that everyone here treats me so 
great even though I don't walk in with four hundred 
dollars a night like some of these other guys..." 

"I WISH everyone walked in here with four hundred 
bucks." 

"Heh, you know what I mean." 

"Yeah, but it was STILL a cool thing to do." 

"Does Donnie have the ribeye tonight." 

"Yeah, you want one?" 

"Yeah, I go in tonight, but not 'till 10." 

"Large or small coke?" 

"Large. What section?" 

"Five." 

"Ugh." 

"Yeah, tell me about it. Won't make any money until 
after 10." 

"OK. Just grab me a table if I'm not there. Gotta make 
a trip to my office." 

***

"Hey, Frank. How's it going tonight?" 

"Slow." 

"Isn't it a little early for Valentine bears?" 

"Never too early for teddy bears." 

"An elephant?" 

"That's a great elephant. Two girls already came by 
asking how much. You better grab a seat.' 

"Maybe next time. I got to go in tonight." 

"Melanie really wants that elephant." 

"sigh. Maybe I'll have some time after I eat." 

"Might not be here that long." 

"Heh, we'll see." 

"Oh yeah, Bob, thanks for the card." 

"My pleasure, Frank." 

<creak> 

"Hey, Bob." 

"Hey yourself, Fred." 

"Thanks for the card." 

"Any time, guy. Hell, I spend more time in here than I 
do out there." 

"Still, not many guys around here care 'bout nothin'. 

"You work last night?" 

"Yeah. Slow as hell until after midnight. Then they 
tore up this place. Took me twenty minutes to get it 
all clean." 

"Sorry to hear it." 

"Not as sorry as I was to have to clean it." 

<flush> 

"I bet." 

"Fucking kids." 

"Hey, a customer is a customer." 

"Yeah, but damn kids ain't got no money. Johnny keeps 
wonderin' why he can't get no VIP's to sign up. Hell, 
all the DJs play is goddamn rap music. Nobody with no 
money wants to listen to goddamn rap music all night 
long. Guy walks in with a suit and tie and money and he 
don't even stay long enough to LOOK at the girls." 

"Well, I guess they play what the girls want to dance 
to." "Fuck the girls. It's all about the GUYS. Fucking 
kids don't even buy but one or two drinks all night. 
Cheap bastards." 

"Heh, you have a good night, Fred." 

"See what I mean, Bob? You know how to tip. Fucking 
kids don't even know what a fucking tip jar is for. 
They keep wanting to put their damn cigarettes out in 
it." 

"Oh, c'mon Fred, it can't be THAT bad." 

"Hell it isn't. If it wasn't for the shoe-shines and 
the pictures, I wouldn't make no money at all." 

"Well, I hope it gets better." 

"Not your fault. Damn kids." 

<creak> 

"You're running buddy's in a bad mood." 

"He made no money last night and I could smell the mess 
from out here." 

"Heh, I guess that WOULD do it." 

"Yeah. Another girl came by while you were in there and 
looked at the elephant. It's not gonna last long." 

"Sounds like you ought to ditch the bears and go with 
elephants." 

"Nah, it's just a fad. The only thing I've learned from 
ten years of dealing blackjack for animals in tittie 
bars is that you can't go wrong with bears." 

***

"Hey Bob, Donnie said it'll be another ten minutes on 
the steak." 

"S'okay, I've got an hour." 

"I saw you looking at my elephant." 

"Oh, and what makes it YOUR elephant?" 

"I saw it first." 

"Heh, well you'd better hurry up and go get it." 

"I haven't made enough money yet." 

"You work last night?" 

"No, they tried to call me in, but I had other plans." 
"I bet. Of course some of us working stiffs have to 
actually WORK on New Year's Eve." 

"Hey, I worked. Worked at getting wasted." 

"They tell me it was slow." 

"That's what I hear. But only two waitresses showed 
up." 

"Uh-oh." 

"Yeah, they fired three girls today." 

"Really? Who?" 

Cheryl, Cassie, and Nikki." 

"Nikki?!!" 

"Yeah, she'd been here longer than I have." 

"Wow." 

"Well, the way they've been hiring girls, they should 
have expected it." 

"Boy, losing Nikki and Cassie really messes up the Butt 
Graph." 

"Butt Graph?" 

"Heh, you know how they tell you to stand at the bar 
when you're not busy?" 

"Yeah." 

"Well, when you have four or more waitresses in T-backs 
lined up along a bar, you get a Butt Graph." 

"I see." 

"And when you lose two tall waitresses like Cassie and 
Nikki, it messes up the whole thing. It's not nearly as 
fun looking at a straight line Butt Graph." "Kinda like 
a dead reading on one of those life-support machines?" 

"Yeah, now you're getting the picture." 

"I think I'll go check on your steak." 

***

"GODDAMNED BITCH GOT MY ELEPHANT!!!" 

"Wooooah, down girl. Have a french fry." 

"I don't WANT a french fry. I want my elephant." 

"Who got it?" 

"That BITCH." 

"Well, yeah, OK, I got that part." 

"Ooooooh, I hate her." 

"And I got that part." 

"It's not just the elephant. Last week she left a huge 
mess over there after she ate. The dancers know they're 
supposed to bus their own tables if they get their own 
food." 

"Oh, boy, do I need to go get the door guys or should 
we just get Johnny to set up that Jell-O wrestling ring 
from last year?" 

"Hey, now THAT'S a thought." 

"I dunno, girlfriend..." 

"Hey, I might be little, but I'm FEISTY!" 

"I'd put a twenty down on ya." 

"You could've just won the elephant..." 

"Girlfriend, you know I love you and all, but you're 
missing the point." 

"Which is?" 

"If given the choice between spending my money on a 
house game with a slim chance to win a stuffed animal, 
and watching the cutest waitress in town naked with 
green Jell-O dripping from various areas of her tiny 
body..." 

"I need a drink." 

"Hey, I'm only a MAN!" 

***

"Hey, gorgeous, so they stuck YOU back here." 

"Yah." 

"Man, this place IS dead." 

"Yah." 

"What's the matter? Cat got your tongue." 

"Thath funny." 

"ACK! When'd you get THAT done?!" 

"Yethterday. Now I can't thalk right." 

"hehe, you thound like Thylvethter." 

"Yah, my lithle girl laufth at me." 

"Ugh, I can't imagine. Does it hurt?" 

"A lithle at firtht. But I thuk on ithe to make it 
numb." 

"Heh, green." 

"It glowth in the dark." 

"Well, I guess all the millions of germs in there now 
have a nightlight." 

"You're funny." 

"Hey, Bob!" 

"Oh, hey Chris. Paula here was just showing me her 
newly-skewered tongue." 

"It was great what you did with the Christmas cards." 

"Ah, this is kinda like a second home, I spend so much 
time here. And everyone treats me great even though 
they know I don't come in here with a wad of cash." 

"Still, let my buy you a drink." 

"I don't drink." 

"A soda then." 

"Eh, thanks for the offer, but I gotta go to work in a 
half-hour and I'd just be spending the rest of the 
night in a bathroom somewhere." 

"If he changes his mind, give him one on the house." 

"Yeth thir." 

"Oh, Chris, what do you know about this Super Bowl 
promotion?" 

"Eh, that's between the owners and Johnny. You'd have 
to ask them about the specifics." 

"Thanks." 

"No, thank you. If there's anything else I can do, just 
ask." 

"You wouldn't happen to have a stuffed elephant lying 
around the office, would you?" 

***

"Careful, Mr. Gilbeaux, it's getting nasty out there." 

"It's Bob," 

"Oh, yeah. Sorry." 

"Did you check your stocking yet?" 

"Oh yeah. Thanks." 

"I'm going to leave these extras here. Can you have 
Chris give 'em to the new folks that didn't get 
stockings?" 

"Sure thing. How many did you give out?" 

"Believe me, you don't WANT to know. Ya'll have a nice 
night." 

"Thanks Bob." 

<slam> 

"Was there money in yours?" 

"Yeah." 

"Damn, it must really be nice to be rich." 

THE END

"Write what you want, how you want, and don't worry 
about the rest of the world. If you do it long enough, 
eventually they'll catch up." 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Please keep this story, and all erotic stories out of
the hands of children. They should be outside playing
in the sunshine, not thinking about adult situations.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
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