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Give Me That Old Time Religion - 4
by Fowler Gray (fowlergray@yahoo.com)

***

Set in the late Sixties, 'Give Me That Old Time 
Religion,' or OTR for short, tells the story of how 
joining the Agapemone Bethel, where sex is a sacrament, 
changes young Jake Gledhill's life.  In the fourth 
Plainsong Jake mets his second lover, courtesy of his 
father. (Fm, rom)

***

Part 4: Plainsong 4: What Would You Have Me Do


To quench any flames before they start raging, this is 
a work of fiction. The author does not espouse the 
pseudo-theology contained in this story nor is he an 
adherent to its practices.

All of the usual legal disclaimers regarding the laws 
of your jurisdiction apply to reading and/or 
downloading this story, which pursuant to the Berne 
Convention, is copyrighted with all rights reserved by 
its author, Fowler Gray, unless explicitly indicated. 
Reproduction except for personal use and reposting 
without the author's written permission is prohibited. 
This story may not be reproduced on any commercial 
site.

Please pay attention to the story codes because they 
may change with each Plainsong.

A few readers have commented (complained) some chapters 
of OTR move too slow and don't have enough sex. If 
you're looking for a quick and dirty stroke story (not 
that there's anything wrong with those), OTR probably 
isn't for you.

As opposed to a short story, OTR is a novella where the 
characters will change and evolve. Some chapters will 
be slower and have less outright sex than others. 

Some of the women who have read OTR have written to 
tell me they have been put off by its religious tenets 
and seeming misogynism. Again I can only say OTR is a 
story about transformation and growth.

While I hope all of you will stick around for the ride, 
I'll understand if some of you don't.

Reader feedback plays an important role in keeping this 
story going.  It's not necessarily a pathetic attempt 
at validation of my efforts (although I'd be lying if I 
said there wasn't at least an element of that 
involved), the feedback often sparks other ideas that 
keep the creative juices flowing.

All that being said, it's also nice to know your work 
has found an appreciative audience. Writing is a 
lonely, solitary profession. Getting feedback for what 
you've written is the difference between a writer's 
literary efforts being masturbation or intercourse. 

So remember Celeste's Blow Job Principle which states 
"If a person expects to get a second blow job, the 
recipient should make the giver glad to have performed 
the first." Think of this story, or any story on this 
site, as the written equivalent of the author giving 
you head (a handy, gender-neutral phrase encompassing 
both cunnilingus and fellatio) and be sure to say thank 
you.  

Thank yous for and comments on Gimme That Old Time 
Religion can be sent to this email address: 
fowlergray@yahoo.com 

***

The story codes for OTR4: What Would You Have Me Do 
(MF)

Give Me That Old Time Religion, An Oratorio In Several 
Plainsongs By Fowler Gray
The Fourth Plainsong: What Would You Have Me Do

I didn't want to go out with Edna.

Edna Todd was the second of the junior college girls my 
father had set me up with. Not that I had anything 
overt against Edna. That would have been difficult 
because I'd never met her. 

Point of fact, I only knew three things about her: 1, 
She worked at my father's shop. 2, She was another of 
my father's many paramours. 3, She'd, as Dad put it, 
"fuck at the drop of a hat and sometimes liked it a 
little kinky." I guess counting the "kinky" part that's 
four things I knew about Edna.

My problem was a bad case of the losts. My view of the 
world and my place in it had been scrambled as 
thoroughly as a carton of eggs tossed into a cement 
mixer. Over the span of less than a year, I'd got 
religion, albeit not a mainstream theology; gained a 
potential girlfriend/wife who I hadn't gone out with 
yet; discovered my parents were, for differing reasons, 
swingers with a taste for exhibitionism and voyeurism, 
and with the approval of my mother, lost my virginity 
to one of my Dad's lovers. 

These events had knocked out the underpinnings of my 
life, robbing me of my sense of surety, leaving only 
the swirling winds of cognitive dissonance in its 
place. Without any sort of an internal compass to guide 
me I was, as the Kinks were to sing several years 
later, living in mixed up, muddled up, shook up world. 

I thought I'd been handling it all rather well in that 
Sixties nonjudgmental hang loose, do your own thing 
kind of way. Emotions in check, I'd taken everything in 
stride, accepted the weird as just another form of 
normal, proceeded as though it all made perfect sense 
which, of course, it didn't. 

In my more rational, non-hormonal driven moments I knew 
all of this was seriously twisted, knowledge I buried 
deep in order not to have to think about it. Instead I 
soldiered on, unwilling to allow anything to put my 
relationship with Elle at risk and hoping it would all 
eventually be come together for me.

It was way Debbie and I parted that really threw me 
into my tailspin.

After being lovers, Debbie had asked, almost begged, 
for me to be her friend. The fact I couldn't was 
haunting me, as was the realization I was treating her 
the same way as my Dad did. But soon I might be able to 
begin chaperoned dating with Elle, an exclusive 
arrangement that would leave no room for even the most 
casual of contact with any other woman.  

I'd called Debbie at the shop and tried to explain this 
to her only to hear the hurt in her voice as assured me 
she understood "...but the other phone's ringing. Gotta 
go Jake, maybe we'll see each other around sometime." 

At first I was mad at her for making me feel the way I 
did. We both went into this with our eyes open, hers 
far wider than mine. Just some casual sex with no 
strings attached, that's all this was supposed to be 
about; it wasn't my fault it turned into more. But it 
wasn't her fault either; she hadn't asked me to marry 
her, just to be her friend.

I sought advice from my parents about what had happened 
with Debbie, an exercise in futility.

With the exception of my mother, my Dad treated women 
like facial tissues; disposable after you came in them. 
He encouraged me to do the same. I had with Debbie and 
at her own request until the night she revealed the 
bitter consequences of self-deception to us both.

Dad had a jaded view of the whole thing.  "Don't worry 
about it Jake," he advised me wryly. "Deb's just 
seizing her chance when she can. Can't blame her for 
that. Of course, you gave her the perfect opening with 
that silly gift of yours. Giving flowers is fine, even 
a small inexpensive piece of costume jewelry is OK. But 
a book of love poetry, that kinda shit only put 
thoughts in her head. She went after you, figuring to 
play on your guilt and the fact you wouldn't know any 
better.

"It's an age-old scam. At first you're friends, friends 
who fuck like minks but still friends. The deeper she 
gets her claws into you the closer she gets to her 
goal. Shacking up would be the next step and then 
before you know it you're standing in front of the 
justice of the peace wondering how in the hell you got 
there.

"Don't worry about kid, she'll land on her feet just 
like the cat she is. Believe me, in a while she'll have 
forgotten all about you and be balling someone else. 
Hell, I think I'll give her a toss just to help things 
on their way."

My father had also warned Edna not to play mind games 
with me. "She knows the score. You won't get any 'just 
love me for myself' shit out of her but you are going 
to get some loving of a type Debbie doesn't like to do. 
Just don't give her another damn poetry book. I've got 
the perfect gift you can give her"

Mom wasn't any more help, in fact she was harsher than 
Dad, reminding me of her view liberated women, with 
their independence and insistence they were a man's 
equal, if not superior, were perpetuating Eve's error 
and bringing great unhappiness on themselves.

"Look at Debbie. She claims to be liberated, freed from 
obedience to any master, able to do what she wanted 
when she wanted, including in matters of sex.  Is it 
working for her, this 'liberation' she brags about? 
From what you told me she doesn't seem very happy with 
her life does she? She doesn't reverence the sex act as 
a sacrament from God; she uses sex as a way of making 
herself necessary to someone."

Perhaps realizing I found her lack of sympathy 
distressing, Mom tried to soften the callousness of her 
words.

"God does work in mysterious ways, Jake, taking us down 
paths we can't understand for his own ends. Sometimes 
the road of excess leads to the Palace of Wisdom. We 
can only pray these girls' casual promiscuity will 
bring them to the Lord in his own good time."

Pushing the envelope, I asked Mom how I was any 
different from these promiscuous women. Wasn't I just 
having sex for sex's sake, reveling in the physical 
pleasure it brought me? What made me any better than 
them?

"Search your feelings, Jake. Was it just sex or was it 
something more?"

I had to admit to my mother I felt the sacred along 
with the profane, the bestowal of God's sacrament, when 
Debbie and I made love.

"Then you are different than them, different but not 
better. You keep that in mind when you go out with the 
next girl your father has lined up for you, or any girl 
for that matter.  If I ever find you've been 
discourteous or contemptuous to someone who shares 
herself with you it will go hard on you," she warned me 
sternly.  "I mean it Jake.  They may be doing these 
things for all the wrong reasons but they deserve your 
respect and compassion."

Begging off of my dates with Edna was out of the 
question, said my mom. 

"You still need the experience, more than ever after 
what happened last time. You have to know its not just 
lust that attracts you to Eleanor. You're going out 
with this Todd girl and that's it."

Monday night found me peddling my bike to Edna Todd's. 
Like me she had no car but she did have a small 
efficiency apartment carved out of a turn-of-the-
century Regency home on the edge of the village.

Along the way I worried about what would happen next, 
the memory of Debbie foremost in my mind.  While that 
was a wound I couldn't heal, at least right now, the 
last thing I wanted was to injure Edna as well.

As I rode up the street her place came into view, a 
white-painted brick three story house, its hip roof 
covered with grey-green moss on the side shaded by the 
towering oak trees that dotted the property. 

The place cried out for some care, the black paint on 
the double-hung windows and wooden shutters was 
peeling, the chimney on its west side badly in need of 
tuck-pointing where the mortar had crumbled away.  
Maybe Dad could get a hold of the owner and make him an 
offer to do the repairs, give us a chance to work 
together and earn some money at the same time.

Cruising up the crushed gravel drive as it gently 
curved and dipped its way though the oaks, I pedaled to 
the back of the home, parking my bike under the back 
stairs. Taking a brown bag out of my bike's saddlebag I 
carefully began ascending the stairs, watching for the 
loose steps I had been told were there, just one more 
thing for Dad and I to fix.

Passing by the landings at the second and third floors, 
I reached the end of the steps, a small door offering 
access to the space under the attic. Pushing my unease 
aside and after a small prayer all would go right, I 
knocked on the door.

I might have been troubled by Dad's treatment of his 
women but I had to admit he sure could pick them.  

Edna Todd was a stunner. She was the very definition of 
"willowy," with just enough flesh to keep her from 
being bony. Luxuriant red hair framed her elfin face, 
pouring down her back to end just below her shoulder 
blade. She wore a thin leather necklace, a shiny metal 
ankh hanging from it to rest in the hollow of her 
throat. 

Soft dark brown eyes, framed by a pair of slightly 
rounded tetragonal tortoise shell glasses resting on an 
upturned button nose, confronted me with a bold and 
direct gaze. 

This time I remembered my manners from the start, 
extending my right hand toward hers, introducing myself 
as Jake Gledhill, Leonard's son and asking if she was 
Edna.

Smiling warmly, she took my hand in hers. "Hello Jake. 
It's a pleasure to meet you but I'm not Edna," her 
voice sweet and lyrical.

As I started to apologize for my mistake she laughed. 
"It's OK Jake, I'm who you came to see. I just hate the 
name Edna.  Why my parents saddled me with it I'll 
never know.  It's not like either of my grandmothers 
were named Edna. I'm the first 'Edna' in the whole damn 
family. Just call me 'Toddie,' like everyone else and 
we'll get along just fine. Come on in and make yourself 
at home." 

Letting the screen door bang shut behind me, I stepped 
in and began to check out the place.

Dad had been too kind when he told me her place was 
small. My bedroom at home was almost as big as her 
entire apartment and I didn't have to wedge a bathroom, 
a kitchen and a table in my room.  Because it was 
directly under the attic, with four and half-foot walls 
running the length of the apartment, the ceiling 
pitched sharply, making it impossible to stand up 
straight anywhere but the center of the room.

To the right of the entrance door was what passed for a 
kitchen, the refrigerator and stove half their normal 
size, as though they'd been designed as toys for a 
child's playhouse, and a single sink, just big enough 
to wash one plate at a time. Two miniscule cupboards 
were jammed above the sink. The far end of the room was 
curtained off by a folding plastic door, ajar just 
enough for me to see a small shower stall and, 
thankfully, a full-sized toilet.

A daybed with pink tubular scrollwork was pushed 
against one wall, a squat three-drawer chest framing 
one end, a rack made of wrought iron pipe, which 
substituted for a closet, the other. On the wall 
directly across from the daybed was a narrow table, 
maybe two, two and a half feet deep and four feet long, 
with a pair of folding chairs tucked underneath it.

The only natural light came from a window to the left 
of the door and the glass panels in the door itself. 
The apartment didn't run the full length of the house, 
only to its center, another "efficiency" apartment on 
the other side of Toddie's bathroom wall. Just how 
efficient her apartment was I couldn't say but there 
was no doubting the efficiency of her landlord in 
squeezing out every last penny he could from his 
building.

As a teenager, I couldn't wait for the day I could 
leave home and move into my own apartment. Toddie's 
cracker box added some caution to my desire.

It was fairly warm in the apartment but, despite the 
lack of windows, not overly hot, the shade from the 
oaks protecting it from much of the sun's heat.  An old 
beat-up box fan, its blades moving torpidly, blew air 
from the outside toward the other end of the room where 
a bathroom exhaust fan sucked it out, the air current 
not even strong enough to ripple the wall's 
decorations, photos of rock stars cut from magazines.

I was almost through with my examination when I caught 
a glimpse of something that was definitely out of place 
in the apartment, my gym bag.  It was tucked in the 
corner of the daybed next to one of the pillows. I knew 
it was mine because the name "Jake" was stenciled in 
blue letters just below the school's Flying Dutchman 
logo, a red and white depiction of an old two-masted 
brig under full wind. It was in my closet the last time 
I had looked. I didn't have the slightest idea of how 
it got here or what it was doing here.

Determined to be cool, I ignored its presence.  Instead 
I complimented Toddie on having "such a nice place," 
making her snort with amusement.

"You don't have to butter me up. My apartment is so 
small the door mat just says 'Wel.'"

Not wanting to be topped, I went into my best Johnny 
Carson imitation. "Your apartment is so small, even the 
mice are hunchbacked."

"My apartment is so small my closet is a nail."

"Your apartment is so small when the sun comes in 
through the window you have to leave."

"My apartment is so small I can use my washcloth for 
wall to wall carpeting."

"Your apartment is so small you have to go outside to 
change your mind."

"Now you're repeating yourself."

"How about this one then? Your apartment is so small 
when you put the key in the lock you stab all the 
people inside."

"Much better. My apartment's so small when I walk 
through the front door I'm in the back yard."

"Your apartment's so small, Barbie did your interior 
decorating."

Throwing up her hands, Toddie surrendered. "Enough 
already. I give up. You win. So what's in the sack? A 
present for me?"

Reaching inside the bag, I pulled out a fifth of 
Southern Comfort, Dad's gift of choice for my date.

"Oh yeah, very nice. Much more practical than a book of 
poetry. More effective too. 'Candy is dandy but liquor 
is quicker.' There's some Coke and ice in the 
refrigerator and some jelly glasses above the sink. Why 
don't you make us each a drink while I get out of my 
work clothes and into something more comfortable."

With no pretense at modesty, Toddie unbuttoned her blue 
chambray shirt unveiling a chest as flat as the Kansas 
prairie.  Watching me watching her, she grinned. "I 
hope you're not a tit man Jake. If you are, well I may 
not have a giant pair of juggs but I make up for it in 
other ways.

"I don't know how Debbie can stand all that weight 
pulling on her all the time," she said as she continued 
to undress, pulling off her brown workpants to reveal a 
pair of plain cotton panties ala J. C. Penny. "By the 
time she's 30 she'll be as hunchbacked as my mice. If 
it wasn't for the fact these damn work shirts rub my 
nipples raw, I wouldn't wear any bra at all.  I mean 
it's not like I need one for support or anything. 
Besides, my apartment's so small if I had big tits I'd 
have to rent the apartment next door too." Leave it to 
a woman to always have to have the last word or in this 
case the last joke.

Turning her back to me, she bent over to open a drawer, 
treating me to the sight of a tight little ass moving 
under the cotton fabric. Selected clothes in hand, she 
moved to the daybed. "Not that I don't appreciate all 
your attention but it was pretty hot in the shop today. 
How are those drinks coming?" 

Before my time with Debbie, such an inquiry would have 
sent me blushing into the other room, embarrassed at 
being caught enjoying Toddie's little strip tease act, 
stammering out some type of lame apology. But that was 
before. Even though I was still troubled by the way it 
ended, my affair with Debbie had given me a measure of 
self-confidence, even a little bravado.

"You were working so hard at putting on such a 
tantalizing show, I didn't want to miss a minute of 
it," I bantered, at the same time letting her know I 
knew what she was up to.

"Well, the show's over," she responded, "so get us 
those drinks and then come sit down."

As I mixed the drinks, Toddie finished dressing, 
putting on a avocado green and white pullover with a 
matching pair of shorts. Standing in front of her, our 
drinks in my hand, I casually asked her to move my gym 
bag to the floor so I could sit down.

"Sure Jake, the floor OK?"

"For now."

Moving my bag, the black plastic bracelets around her 
right wrist sounding like a baby's rattle, I noticed 
Toddie's fingers didn't match the rest of her body. 
Short and thick but with sharp edges,  the bright red 
polish was chipped away in most places, the remaining 
patches making her nails look like they had the 
measles. The most striking anomaly was her right index 
finger, which was missing the entire first joint.

"Camping accident," she said matter of factly. "Chopped 
it off with a hatchet at Camp Crooked Tree when I was a 
Brownie. I was cutting down some branches to build a 
lean-to.  They never did find it, probably made a nice 
little snack for some scavenger. The camp leader made a 
big fuss over it though, paid all the medical bills and 
even refunded the camp fee.

"Got a camp joke for you. Know when a Cub Scout becomes 
a man?"  I shook my head no. "When he eats his first 
Brownie." As I chuckled, she took a sip of her drink.

"Pretty good Jake. Most guys put in too much alcohol; I 
guess they want to get me drunk as quick as they can. 
You've got the mixture just right. Are you moonlighting 
as a bartender nights or is this just a natural 
talent?"

I explained I'd been making drinks for my parents and 
their friends since I was 10.

"Well, you've got a real talent for it," she said 
taking another swallow. I followed suit, the caramel 
taste of the Southern Comfort softening the sharpness 
of the Coke.

"I don't know very much about you Jake, other than what 
your dad told me and I know you don't know anything 
about me other than what your dad told you which you 
should take with a mountain of salt.  Lennie's a dear 
but he never lets the truth stand in the way of a good 
story."  

With a final gulp she finished her drink, holding the 
glass out to me.  "Drink the rest of yours then make us 
both a fresh one.  When you get back we're going to 
play a little game called "Spanish Inquisition" to help 
us get to know each other better. It's a simple game. 
We just take turns asking each other questions and 
giving one-minute answers. I'll be the timekeeper. 
We're each on our honor to tell the truth. Can I trust 
you to tell the truth Jake?"

What the hell, I thought to myself. What can it hurt; 
after all I won't be seeing her again once I start 
dating Elle.  "You can if I can."

"Fair enough," she said her eyes crinkling merrily. 
"I'll start you off with a simple question while you're 
getting those refills.  What do you like to do for 
fun," she asked her eyes turning to her watch attached 
to her left wrist by an inch and a half wide leather 
band.

"Read, go to the movies. I write a little, fish and 
hunt some. I like fishing better than hunting. In 
spring when the floods come I like to canoe down the 
drainage ditches. It's exciting and scary to go through 
those big metal culverts not knowing if they're blocked 
with brush or not, whether or not you'll make it out 
the other side or drown in the dark. In winter I go 
snow camping on the weekends. But mainly I read. What 
do you do for fun?"

"You mean besides fuck," she asked provocatively. "I 
like to tell dirty jokes; working on the shop floor you 
learn to be one of the guys if you want to get along. I 
like swimming, hiking in the woods. I'm into astrology. 
Listen to the radio. I don't read much, just rock 
magazines. I'm not a big movie fan, they're OK but 
there's better ways to spend a couple of hours in the 
dark. What's your favorite subject in school?"

"Journalism. What was yours?"

"Shop and auto mechanics, I was the only girl in my 
school they let take those courses, all the others took 
home economics.  But Jake, you can't just parrot my 
questions back to me, you have to come up with some on 
your own," she chided me.  "What was the best day of 
your life and why?"

"Gezz, Toddie, I haven't lived that long."

"No fair stalling. Answer the question."

"The day my debate team beat St. Bonaventure in the 
regional finals last year. They were a bunch of stuck-
up rich private school kids who knew they were better 
than anyone else. They even had a regular debate class 
with a full-time teacher.  We just had Mr. Homn for a 
few hours after school. They went home and we wound up 
finishing third in the state." I was surprised at the 
distaste I felt for those rich little pricks even now; 
the satisfaction I still got from beating them like a 
drum warming my heart.  "What's your favorite season," 
I asked her, still keeping the questions fairly 
impersonal.

"Spring, when everything and everyone seems to get a 
fresh start on life. What'd you get away with in school 
you've still never told anyone about?"

"A friend and I broke into the school. He stole the 
janitor's key and I made a copy of it at the hardware 
store I work in. It was a real commando job. We dressed 
all in black including black ski masks and black 
gloves. Once we were in we went to the science lab and 
freed all the frogs they were going to dissect in 
biology the next day, must have been more than a 
hundred of them. It was pretty funny; we left little 
ladders made of pins and string on the edge of the 
tanks along with a note from the Amphibian Liberation 
Movement. Let them all go in the creek behind the 
school.  They never did figure who did it or how we got 
in."

Toddie got a real kick out of my tale; laughing so hard 
she spilled some of her drink on the daybed.  After we 
got it blotted up I asked her, "What's your favorite 
clean joke?"

"Clean not dirty huh? OK I'm up to the challenge. Man 
says to his doctor, 'I can't sleep. Every time I lay on 
my left I hear 'The Green, Green Grass of Home' and 
when I lay on my right, I hear 'Delilah.' The doctor 
says 'I'm afraid you have a case of Tom Jones Fever.' 
Guy asks the doctor, 'Tom Jones Fever? Is that common?' 
Doc tells him, 'Well, It's not unusual.' So what's your 
best dirty joke?" 

I thought for a moment. 

"A Catholic teenager goes to confession, and after 
confessing to an affair with a girl is told by the 
priest he can't be forgiven unless he reveals who the 
girl is. 'I promised not to tell!' the boy says. 'Was 
it Mary Patricia, the butcher's daughter?' the priest 
asks. 'No, and I said I wouldn't tell.' 'Was it Mary 
Elizabeth, the printer's daughter?' 'No, and I still 
won't tell!' 'Was it Mary Francis, the baker's 
daughter?' '"No,' says the boy. 'I'm sorry, son,' says 
the priest, 'I have no choice but to ban you for six 
months.' Outside, the boy's friends ask what happened. 
'Well,' he says, 'I got kicked out of mass, but Father 
gave me three good leads.'"

"I knew we'd get around to sex eventually." Toddie 
joked.  "Next question?"

"What's your family like?"

"My dad's a long-distance truck driver, not around home 
much, maybe a week out of a month although not all at 
the same time. Mom works part-time at the Topps in 
Marion. She's a shelf stocker, sometimes a cashier when 
it's really busy. Rita's my older sister. She's a 
beautician over in Lumstead. Married with three kids, 
ugly little buggers every one of them. Her husband's an 
assistant night manager in the party store there. My 
brother Chaz is living in an ashram in California 
trying to find himself. We don't get together much, not 
what you could call a close family. Now it's my turn to 
repeat a question. I know your dad real well. What's 
your mom like and what's she think of all this? 
Remember, we promised to be honest with each other."

I felt like a butterfly in a net, the killing jar in 
sight.  The questions were starting to get serious now.  
"Come on, come on. I can't be that hard to answer. One 
minute, go."

"Mom loves her family, loves Dad even though she knows 
she's sleeping around. She works hard, keeps the place 
together. Wants me to be a success and to save you a 
question, she knows I'm here and she's Ok with it. Says 
I need the experience." I didn't mention my mother's 
very active sex life, figuring it's not a lie if you 
don't say anything.

"Far out. My mom pretends she doesn't know about my sex 
life. I'm still a virgin as far as she's concerned."

Still stinging a bit from the question about my mother 
I decided to up the ante.  "What's the three most 
important things I should know about you?"

Now it was Toddie's turn to hesitate.  Chewing her lip 
she answered, "One, I'm not Debbie. I'm happy with who 
I am. Two, I like my job. I've wanted to be a mechanic 
all my life and I'm a pretty good one. Three, if we hit 
it off I might not mind having you for a friend. 
Believe it or not, I do have male friends I don't sleep 
with. But if you can't because of Elle I'll 
understand."

As the questions continued the level in the Southern 
Comfort bottle drew lower.  We weren't getting drunk 
but we where getting a little buzz, one that led us to 
be a little more forward in our questions and 
unconcerned about our answers.

"What's the most embarrassing thing that ever happened 
to you while you were having sex," Toddie wanted to 
know.

That one was easy. "My mom walked in on me while I was 
spanking the monkey."

"You've got to be kidding me," Toddie said in 
disbelief.

"Nope, not only was I jacking off, I was shooting my 
wad just as she came in, everything in plain sight 
including the fountain of jism from Old Faithful."

Toddie roared in amusement. "Christ, that must have 
been terrible. What'd you do?"

"Yeah it was terrible, I felt like a pervert, just 
wanted to disappear off the face of the earth. Had to 
settle for hiding under the covers.  She was cool about 
it though. Told me everyone does it, including her. 
Brought me a washcloth to clean up with then started 
putting a box of tissues next to my bed each night, 
said it'd save on washing sheets."

Face bright with laughter, Toddie replied, "That's 
pretty bad all right but I can top it."

"I'd like to see you try," I said, intrigued at what 
would possibly be worse than my ordeal.

"I'd been dating a guy for about a month, a really 
vanilla type when it came to sex. Anything but the 
missionary position was debauchery incarnate. It took 
four dates before I could get him to let me blow him. 
He never would eat me.  Anyhow, I got him drunk and 
convinced him to give it to me up the old Hershey 
Highway. 

"There we were at his place; I'm bent over the edge of 
the bed, feet on the floor, my hands and arms holding 
me off the mattress. He's buried deep in my ass, just 
pounding away like a jackhammer, yelling 'Oh god, oh 
god, you're so tight, it's so good. Fuck, fuck, fuck.' 
I mean he was an animal; hands on my hips, pulling me 
back on his dick as he thrust forward, his pubes 
scratching against my ass. Really getting into it, pun 
intended."  She stopped, partly to take a drink, mainly 
to keep me in suspense.

"I'm getting near my climax when I totally lost control 
and cut one. Not just a little one, a real blue flamer. 
Sounded like Gabriel's trumpet and smelled like 
something crawled up my ass and died. Didn't go away 
either, hung around in the air like Los Angeles smog. 
About as thick too. Poor Steve didn't just get a whiff; 
he got a whole lungful. Started coughing and choking, 
lost his balance and fell right on top of me."

As Toddie told her tale, I was laughing so hard tears 
were coming out of my eyes.

"He weighed about 180-185 pounds so when he collapsed 
on me he drove me hard against the bed."

"Oh god, no," I managed to wheeze out between gasps for 
breath.

"Oh god yeah," she said. "The force of my hitting the 
edge of the bed made me erupt again, just as bad as the 
first one, maybe with even more force since his cock 
came out of me when we fell. Now not only are we both 
choking, he's a dead weight on top of me and it's 
getting to where I can't breath.  Just in time to keep 
me from passing out, he pulls himself off me, runs over 
to the wastepaper basket and pukes his guts out. 
Between my farts and his vomiting, I'm having trouble 
keeping my dinner down as well. Talk about a mood 
killer, the whole thing was really disgusting."

Hooked, I asked Toddie what happened next.

"After we opened all the windows, turned on every fan 
he had and sprayed the bedroom with a full can of 
Lysol, we got dressed and he took me home.  Didn't say 
a word to me all the time we were in the car. Wouldn't 
even look at me.  I told you he was pretty square; he'd 
always get out and open the car door for me. This time 
he just let me get out of the car myself. As soon as I 
shut the door he took off and I never did hear from him 
again."

"What a bastard," I said, meaning it.

"Aw, you can't really blame him. After my performance 
he probably thought I was a succubus sent by Satan to 
steal his immortal soul. There was no question about my 
smelling of brimstone. Still his loss in your gain."

"How so?"

"I was so embarrassed I went over to the woman's clinic 
over in Robinson County and they taught me all about 
how to keep that from happening again. There's these 
little pills the druggist sells for gas, I just take a 
couple of those and I'm much less explosive."

The secret of what Toddie did that Debbie didn't was 
out in the open now. She took it in all three of her 
holes.

"I don't know about you but I'm getting a little buzz 
from the drinks," she admitted. "Two more questions 
each and then we'll go for a walk along the creek.  
It's your turn."

Since the subject had been brought up, "Do you really 
like anal sex? Doesn't it hurt?" It wasn't just 
prurient interest, I really was curious.

"Yes, I really like anal sex; sometimes I come the 
hardest with a guy's cock up my butt. Once you get used 
to it, it doesn't hurt, although it can be a little 
uncomfortable sometimes. You need to be with someone 
who either already knows how to do it or who'll listen 
to you while you tell them how to do it.  You know how 
they say 'size doesn't matter?' It does with butt 
fucking.  You don't want 'em too long or too thick, 
those will hurt. I don't let any really big cocks 
anywhere near my ass. And you've got to make sure to 
use a lot of lubrication."

A wicked gleam in her eye, she asked me her next 
question.  "What's so special about this Elle girl 
you're willing to become a member of the church, swear 
off other women, even the ones who'll let you jump 
their bones and all just for her?  Lennie tells me you 
haven't even copped a feel from her. Says you two 
haven't even gone on a date yet and when you do you'll 
be chaperoned. Why her and not someone else?  I'll even 
give you two minutes on this one."

"Do you believe in love at first sight?"

"Jake, you can't answer my question with a question."

"Come on Toddie, play along. Do you believe in love at 
first sight?"

"Nope. Lust at first sight sure. Love at first sight, 
nah. Doesn't happen."

"That's cool. I don't believe in love at first sight 
either, so what I'm going to say is going sound really 
stupid. Elle calls to me. I feel a connection there 
even though I don't know what it is or where it will 
lead. When I get to know her she might turn out to be 
the love of my life or she might turn out to be a total 
bitch. Could be something in between where we date for 
a little while, maybe even make love a couple of times 
and decide we're not right for each other.

"I'm only 17," I said talking to myself as much as I 
was talking to Toddie.  "I've got my whole life ahead 
of me. What does it hurt me to take a few months to 
find out if there can be something between Elle and me?  
So I jump through a few hoops; so we're not alone the 
first few times we date.  

"There's a scene in Casablanca where Rick tells Ilsa if 
she's not on the plane for Lisbon with Victor she'll 
regret it; 'maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but 
soon and for the rest of your life?' I don't want to go 
through the rest of my life wondering what might have 
happened with Elle and regretting I let a few 
inconveniences kept me from finding out. It's not such 
big a deal because at the end of all this I'll know."

"I guess when you put it that way, it's not that dumb," 
Toddie said thoughtfully. "At least you'd always have 
Paris."  

"I thought you said you weren't a big movie fan?"

"Puhleez, who hasn't seen Casablanca. They show it on 
the Million Dollar Movie at least once a month. I'll 
let you ask two more questions and then we'll get out 
of here and go for a walk."

"What's my gym bag doing here?"

"That's too easy. Lennie gave it to me.  There's some 
clothes and a fresh toothbrush in it."

"No, not how it got here or what's in it. Why is it 
here?"

A sly, satisfied smile on her lips, Toddie said, "It's 
still too easy.  It's here so you can spend the whole 
weekend with me. 

"Come on Jake," she urged. "One more question and we'll 
cut out of here."

"But it's your turn?"

"Nah, I've learned enough for now. Beside, we'll have 
the next two days to talk won't we? So what's your last 
question?"

"Why me?"

Stumped, Toddie looked at me in confusion.  "What do 
you mean 'why me?'"

"You asked why I'm willing to do what I do to have a 
chance with Elle. I'm asking you why you're willing to 
be with me. You've never met me before this so it's not 
like we were friends who were attracted to each other. 
I'm not anybody's idea of a dream date. I'm not 
handsome, maybe I'm not bad looking in a slightly goofy 
sort of way, but I'm not handsome.  I'm not very 
muscular, and for sure not an athlete.  I don't come 
from a rich family.  Don't have a car. Hell, you name 
any desirable characteristic and I'm pretty much a 
'not.' Plus I'm what, three, fours years younger than 
you."

Draining the last of my drink, I continued.  "And look 
at you.  You're flat out gorgeous," only to have Toddie 
hit me with a pillow."

"Watch it with those flat cracks. We can't all be cows 
like Debbie." Dense as I was, I was getting the 
distinct impression Toddie didn't like Debbie.

"If it bothers you so much, stuff a pair of water 
balloons under your blouse."

"Nah, I'd use Jell-O," she joked. "It'd be more 
lifelike when it jiggled."

"See that's what I mean. You're attractive; you're 
funny, you're smart. Any guy who spent even a few 
minutes with you would want more. So what do you want 
with a gangly pimple-faced high school senior? I know 
why I want to be with you. Why are you willing to be 
with me?"

Her answer was a bitter one to hear, leaving me with a 
feeling like I'd been drinking sour milk.  

"Because Lennie asked me to."

Of all the answers she could have given me, that one 
was the worst. Not that I didn't know that was why I 
was there but for her to come right out and tell me ... 
well it was tough to take.

"Jake, if you didn't want the truth you shouldn't have 
asked the question," she gently scolded me. "There's a 
reason the game's called 'Spanish Inquisition.' Besides 
you're wrong about a lot of things."

"Like what," I asked morosely.

"Let's go for that stroll," she said, tugging me up 
from the daybed. "The fresh air'll do us both some 
good."

As we walked across the sunny meadow, its patches of 
wildflowers adding splashes of bright colors to the 
otherwise monotonous green pallet, Toddie took pleasure 
in outlining my errors. 

She had met me before in a roundabout sort of way.  I'd 
picked up Dad's lunch once by mistake. Since I hated 
liverwurst, I'd gone to the shop to trade for my lunch. 
Toddie had seen me then and I'd seen her, not that I'd 
recognize her since she was in her full welding gear 
with the mask down when I came by.

Since then she'd seen me around town a few times and 
thought I was "sort of cute in a sweet sort of way." 
She also knew more about me than I realized because 
"Lennie's always talking about you, what's going on in 
your life.  He's proud of you but he's been pretty 
concerned about this whole religious kick you're on, 
worried you were going to 'let his hard-on for this 
girl he met in church fuck up his life. Poor bastard's 
wearing his passion for her like a hair shirt.' At 
least that's how Toddie said he put it.

"He thought if you got laid a few times, you'd forget 
all about Elle or at least decide you didn't have to go 
through with all of this 'holy roller horseshit' just 
to get your wick dipped. You already know Debbie and I 
have both slept with Lennie. He thinks we're easy and 
maybe we are but that doesn't make us Jezebels. I mean 
is there some sort of hidden virtue in being difficult? 
You get the munchies and you eat. You get horny and you 
screw. In both cases, problem solved. What makes one 
different from the other?

"I'll tell you this Jake, it's damn unfair. I have an 
active sex life with multiple lovers and I'm a cheap 
slut.  You do the same and you're a big stud." Toddie 
caught herself and apologized, telling me she'd gotten 
"a little off-track but the kind of crap just makes me 
so damn mad."

I told her I agreed; my question didn't mean I saw her 
as a slut. I was only trying to piece things together, 
seeking to understand women and what drives them.

Tickled by my naivety, she told me "Women aren't meant 
to be understood Jake; they're meant to be loved.  
We're creatures of mystery, that's part of our allure. 
Oh, you can try and figure us out but once you think 
you've got it we'll change just to confuse you."

We'd entered the small forest bounding Pickett Creek 
during Toddie's lecture, the early stands of oak, ash 
and maple along the edge of the field quickly giving 
way to cedars, tamaracks and ferns as we got deeper 
into the woods. I took Toddie's hand to help her pick 
her way though the bog that outlined this section of 
the creek. The ground here could be tricky; one wrong 
step and you'd be sinking in the spongy black muck.

The swampland provided the best access to the creek, 
especially if you were wearing shorts as we were.  
Other areas might be easier to walk on but they were 
harder to walk though as they were usually thick with 
itch weed and sharp thorny brambles. 

Once I'd sliced myself open on the brambles then 
compounded my problem by stupidly hiking not only 
though the itch weed but also the poison ivy that 
flourished in the dryer ground. It's not an experience 
I'd wish on anyone I cared for.

As we walked I was surprised how good Toddie's hand 
felt in mine, nothing sexual, just a sense of 
correctness as though somehow it belonged there, its 
warmth mingling with mine, our fingers entwined, her 
shortened finger rubbing against my palm.

Navigating our way to the creek, we put our 
conversation on hold replacing it with short spurts of 
advice and instructions on where to find the best 
footing.   Things were fine until, just a short 
distance from the creek, the moss on a downed cedar we 
were traversing gave way under her left foot, causing 
Toddie to lose her balance and pitch toward the ground.

As she toppled I grabbed at her, trying my best to keep 
her from falling. I was only semi-successful; managing 
to steady her enough to prevent her dropping face first 
into the mire but losing my own balance in the process, 
both of us plunging to mid-calf in the dark goop.

"Shit, I hate it when that happens," she said good-
naturedly. "I hope there's no leeches."

Repressing a shudder at the thought of a leech swelling 
to the size of a peanut shell on a meal of my blood, I 
wrapped my hands around Toddie's thin waist and lifted 
her up and back on to the tree, both of her EZ slip-on 
tennis shoes easily slipping off her feet to remain 
buried in the muck. A quick glance showed her legs were 
free of any vampiric swamp creatures.

Telling her to stay on the tree, I pulled her shoes out 
of the clinging mud then walked the rest of the way to 
the creek. Bending down I washed her shoes, carefully 
checking for any little bloodsuckers hidden inside. 
After Toddie's footwear was as clean as I could get it, 
I walked back though the bog, thankful I wore tied 
shoes that stayed on. 

Toddie had been watching me with a curious look on her 
face. "Hold on to these," I said, returning her wayward 
shoes to her. "No, don't put 'em on, just spread your 
legs as wide apart as you can and hold still."

I turned my back on Toddie and squatted as low as I 
could.  "Sorry I don't have a cloak I can throw over 
the mud. I guess I'll just have to do. Hop on and I'll 
carry you to the creek."

She didn't hesitate for a minute. "My hero," she 
vamped, swinging her surprisingly strong legs over my 
shoulders, her crossed feet locking them in place.

I gave a little grunt as I stood up, not because Toddie 
was heavy, she wasn't, but because of the force with 
which she grabbed my hair.

"Easy there huh," I asked.  "I don't want to be bald 
before I'm 20."

"Really, and here I thought you wanted to be 'balled' 
as soon as possible," she replied, wriggling like a 
baby in a basinet until she found her balance.

As I carried her to the creek, Toddie began to rub her 
crotch against the back of my neck. "Keep that up." I 
warned, "and we're both going to be back down in the 
muck."

"Why Jake, you're too much of a gentleman to throw me 
down and take advantage of me here aren't you," she 
asked deliberately misunderstanding me. "You really 
don't want to have your way with me in this smelly goo 
do you? Wouldn't the bed in my apartment be better?"  I 
shifted my balance to the left, eliciting a small 
screech from Toddie as she tightened her grasp of my 
hair.

"Behave or you're leech bait."

"Meanie," she pouted, her dry humping of my neck 
momentarily suspended. "Just when it was getting 
interesting too."

Stepping into the creek I again knelt down, allowing 
Toddie to slide off into the running water, watching as 
it carried the mud on my sneakers and legs downstream.

My gallantry was rewarded with a small kiss from 
Toddie, nothing blatantly sensual and no tongue; just a 
soft sweet sample of future delights.

The bed of Pickett Creek's was a combination of gravel 
and sand, the depth of the creek varying but almost 
never getting more than four foot in depth. Toddie and 
I waded upstream, the knee-deep water rippling around 
our legs, small rainbow-hued minnows darting in and out 
of our path.

Before too long we reached a deadfall spanning the 
width of the creek, an old swamp oak blown over by some 
long-forgotten storm, its limbless bole wide enough to 
sit on comfortably and high enough above the creek to 
allow our feet to dangle just below its surface. 

Surrounded by a cloud of mosquitoes being kept at bay 
by the liberal quantity of repellent we'd applied 
before we set out, we went back to our paused 
conversation.

"Why does it bother you we're together because Lennie 
set it up?"

Suddenly, it was important to me Toddie understood how 
I felt, even if it meant I'd be riding my bike home 
that evening.

"I love my dad but I don't want to be him. He thinks 
he's looking out for me, that he's helping me to 'be a 
real man.' But a real man wouldn't be anyone's puppet, 
dancing every time someone pulls his strings. A real 
man would find his own way; make his own decisions.

"And I want to be more than a piece of meat, a human 
dildo my dad loans out to his girlfriends to get some 
experience. Maybe that's too much to ask," I said, my 
voice tapering off as I wondered if I'd crossed the 
line, trying to read her face without much success.

For a few moments Toddie looked at me in total silence. 
Then she laughed.

"My god, and to think you men call us touchy and 
sensitive," she chided me with amusement. "Just listen 
to yourself, whining because your Dad set up a date for 
you. Poor young boy has to waste his time with an old 
dried up hag like me. Well, boo hoo and cry me a 
river."

She gave me a straight-arm punch that left my bicep 
throbbing.

"And what's with this human dildo nonsense? I never 
said I was going to have sex with you. What kind of a 
girl do you think I am anyway? You want a sure thing, 
go see Debbie." 

Again I tried to read her face with the same result as 
before.

'You're kidding me right," I asked my stammer just a 
knife's edge away from breaking loose. "I asked you why 
you were willing to sleep with me and you said it was 
because my Dad asked you."

"No Jake, that's not what you asked me," she said 
firmly. "You asked me why I was willing to be with you. 
If you were using 'be with me' as a code for 'fuck me," 
you should have given me the secret decoder ring so I'd 
know what you meant. I told Lennie you could stay with 
me for the weekend.  If you thought that was some sort 
of carte blanche for sex, that's your interpretation, 
not mine."

Caught in another of those sudden relationship 
mudslides, the once firm ground under my feet turning 
more treacherous than the bog we'd fallen in earlier, I 
frantically reconsidered our previous conversations.  
We'd talked about sex. Toddie hadn't been shy, going so 
far as to tell me about her adventures in rectal 
loving. She'd been flirty, enticing my interest and 
stoking my arousal, but never once had she actually 
said we were going to screw.  I just made an assumption 
based on what Dad had told me and on my experience with 
Debbie, forgetting that "assume" was an acronym for 
"Actions Seldom Supported Under Meticulous 
Examination."

For the briefest moment I wondered if Toddie was just a 
cocktease who got her kicks from giving guys like me 
blue balls; ashamed of myself even as the notion flew 
through my brain. Here I'd just been bitching about not 
wanting to being treated like a piece of meat, yet was 
I really treating her any different with my 
expectations of bedding her like a feudal lord 
exercising his right of droit de seigneur? So much for 
showing respect. I deserved her scorn and any abuse she 
cared to pile on to me.

Humbled, distraught, embarrassed, I stumbled and 
mumbled my way though an apology; although, unlike my 
mother had with me, I didn't kneel down in front of 
Toddie while I requested her forgiveness.

"Jesus, I'm sorry Toddie. I'm an ass, an immature 
idiot. I suppose that's what I get for believing my old 
man's stories. No, that's not fair blaming any of this 
on him," I said in an unsteady voice, hoping she could 
sense my sincerity. "It's all my fault. I should have 
known better and you sure as hell deserve better. It's 
just, just..."

"Just what," she asked, not unkindly.

Swallowing hard, I replied, "Just I thought you were 
going to sleep with me?"

"Let's not make any mistakes here. You still haven't 
given me my decoder ring.  By sleep with you I presume 
you mean have wild, passionate sex with you; that'd 
we'd suck and fuck and I'd let you screw me in the ass. 
That is what you mean isn't it?"

Sheepishly I answered with a simple yes, and then 
continued with my act of contrition, explaining now 
that she'd made it plain to me we weren't going to fuck 
I was "cool with it."

Ignoring my apology, Toddie again took my hand in hers, 
each silken stroke of her fingertips against my skin 
brushing away some of the tension I felt.

"Did you hear the one about a man driving down a road," 
she said. "A woman's driving down the same road from 
the opposite direction. As they pass each other, the 
woman leans out the window and yells, "PIG!" The man 
immediately leans out his window and yells, "BITCH!" 
They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds 
a curve, he crashes into a huge pig in the middle of 
the road and dies. The moral of the story is 'If only 
men would listen.'"

"Jake," she told me, a decidedly wicked smile on her 
face. "You've really got to improve your listening 
skills. I never said we weren't going to fuck."

OK, now I knew for sure she was screwing with my head, 
doing that whole enigma wrapped inside a conundrum 
thing women seem to love. This time though I didn't 
take the bait, just sat patiently enjoying the feel of 
her hand caressing mine, patiently waiting for her to 
continue.

"But you're going to have to work for it Jake. I won't 
just fuck you, you're going to have to seduce me to get 
any loving."

***

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This story was written as an adult fantasy. The author
does not condone the described behavior in real life.

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Kristen's collection - Directory 46