("`-''-/").___..--''"`-._
                `6_ 6  )   `-.  (     ).`-.__.`)
                (_Y_.)'  ._   )  `._ `. ``-..-'
               _..`--'_..-_/ /--'_.' ,'
              ((('   (((-(((''  ((((
            K R I S T E N' S    C O L L E C T I O N
 	   _________________________________________
                            WARNING!
	   This text file contains sexually explicit
	   material. If you do not wish to read this
	   type of literature, or you are under age,
	   PLEASE DELETE THIS FILE NOW!!!!
 	   _________________________________________




		   Scroll down to view text


















-------------------------------------------------------
This work is copyrighted to the author © 2014. Please
do not remove the author information nor make any 
changes to this story. All rights reserved. Thank you 
for your consideration.
-------------------------------------------------------

Two Dashes of Mid-Summer - 8
by Endrael (endrael@yahoo.com)

***

Arranging a weekend for himself (with prodding from 
both Sara and Kim), Mike spends some time with Jen to 
help sort out the mess she's made, and ends up 
spending some quality time with Cindy afterward. Both 
prove to be much needed breaks from other 
responsibilities. (MF, exh, bd, rom)

***

Part 8: Puzzle Pieces

Chapter 1

It took me a few days to realize Sara and Kim were 
right that I needed to spend time with Jen. This was 
driven home when the brainstorm list I handed Kim for 
our date with Sara was pitifully small, and I 
conceded to her the bulk of planning. I was the one 
who called about reservations, of course, since she 
wasn't old enough, but most of the planning was her 
call.

And then there was the portfolio for Georgia's dad. 
That should have been easy, but I found myself 
increasingly critical of anything I considered 
including. Poses were too stiff or not dynamic 
enough, shading inconsistent, proportions imperfect, 
perspective all wrong, content typical or uncreative, 
and on and on. It was mostly minor issues, but since 
I'd started to seriously push to improve my work, all 
the small imperfections leaped out and beat me over 
the head. I eventually just brought three binders to 
school and asked friends to pick what they liked 
best.

My increased cynicism about my artistic skill also, I 
expect, stemmed from needing my best work on display, 
which was difficult when I no longer had access to 
those pieces because they'd been paid work. I made a 
note to get a good scanner so that wouldn't be a 
problem going forward, but that was a back burner 
issue until after the date with Sara.

Or I could make it the only item on my Christmas wish 
list.

I back burnered that thought, too.

Overall, once organizing with Jen and two major 
school projects were added in, the week was 
considerably more stressful than I wanted. Once the 
weekend arrived, I slept like the dead. My phone 
blaring in my face was the only reason I was awake 
before noon on Saturday.

"What?" I croaked at Jen, blinking at my clock. Just 
before eleven. Wonderful.

"I thought we had a date, mister," she huffed. "Are 
you standing me up?"

"No. I'm sorry. I'm just really damn exhausted and 
slept through my alarm. I just slept for twelve 
hours."

"I see. I'll give you this one, Mikey. When will you 
be here?"

"Once I wake up? I don't know. Soon. Ish. I don't 
think more than an hour."

"Fine. Hurry your ass up, sleepy head. It's been ages 
since we've had time together."

"Yeah, I know. I need to at least caffeinate and eat 
first, so cool your horses."

"Bah. We can go out and eat once you're here. I'll 
snurch some money from Jas and we can do a day on the 
town with a twenty dollar budget. It will be epic of 
such proportions they'll have to redefine epic."

"Sounds enticing. I'll see what I can do."

"Coolio poolio. I'll be here. Waiting. Bored. 
Impatient. You know. The usual."

"Uh huh. I'll be there in a bit."

"Unless you fall asleep again."

"I'm hanging up now. Bye."

And I did, catching her mid-laugh. Getting up and 
moving wasn't what I wanted to be doing, but once I 
was, I woke up fairly quickly. Dad was in the kitchen 
poring over something on his laptop when I made it 
that far after my shower.

"He lives," he said, looking up as I came in.

"More or less. It's been a long week. Stuff with 
Sara, stuff with Jen, stuff with Kim's girlfriend's 
dad about art classes over at the college, lots of 
projects for school. The usual." I dug around in the 
fridge trying to find caffeine and discovered none. 
"Are we out of soda?"

"There's always coffee. Mm mm good."

Dad held up his mug, still steaming, and I shook my 
head.

"I'll pass, thanks."

"Who was it that just called? Sara?"

"No, that was Jen." I dropped some toaster pastries 
in to toast, then turned and leaned against the 
counter, rubbing my eyes to get rid of the sandpaper 
feel. "I'll be out for the day with her, since we 
have some stuff to work on, and might swing by and 
spend some time with Cindy afterward. I'll call and 
let you know if I'm spending the night there or not."

"That would be appreciated. So what's this about 
college? This is the first you've said anything about 
it."

"It is? I must have forgotten to mention it. Like I 
said, long week."

I gave him the overview of my talk with Herbert and 
his general enthusiasm about what he'd seen of my 
work so far. The telling couldn't have been timed 
better, my pastries popping when I finished. Dad 
nodded when I turned to collect my imitation 
breakfast.

"That will be a really big boost for getting your 
work out, by the sound of it, especially if he worked 
in the industry. He should still know people, I 
imagine."

"It's crossed my mind, yeah. I think right now it's 
better if I just focus on getting the first steps out 
of the way. I'm not worried about my work being 
accepted anywhere, because it already has, but my 
work medium is pretty narrow right now. There's not a 
lot of call for straight pen and pencil work. It's 
why I started teaching myself to paint."

"Did he say when he'd get back to you?"

"Not exactly. He's the head of the art department, so 
he's probably pretty busy. The next week or two, 
probably. If I haven't heard anything from him by the 
end of the month, I'll either ask Georgia to see 
what's going on or go by the college and ask."

Dad nodded and leaned back in his chair, said, "Do 
you need help with anything? Advice about girls, 
maybe? School work? Whatever else you might have 
going on? Your mom and I haven't seen much of you 
lately."

I had to stop and think about that, since I hadn't 
expected it. Obviously telling him about what was 
going on because of Jen was out of the question, 
which left non-relationship stuff. I shook my head 
after a few seconds and devoured my pastries in a few 
bites.

"I'm good for right now, I think. I'll probably need 
help with the college stuff, but I won't know until 
that happens. Sara and I are in a pretty good spot 
right now, I think, and we have a date planned for 
next weekend. Going to leave Friday afternoon after 
school and come back Sunday."

"Now that's good to know in advance. Where are you 
going? Over to the coast?"

"Yeah. I only just made the hotel reservations last 
night. I mentioned it to mom, but I'm guessing she 
didn't pass it on since you were out late."

"No, no she didn't, but that's fine. We'll leave you 
some extra spending money to play with as long as you 
come back here before you leave."

I laughed and rinsed my plate.

"I don't want to take school bags to the coast with 
us, and I'll need to pack clothes, so I'll be here 
before going. I need to get going, though. I was 
supposed to meet up with Jen hours ago but I slept 
through my alarm."

"Right." He waved me off. "Go hang with her, but 
don't cause too much trouble."



Chapter 2

"There you are!" Jen said, opening the door on me, my 
hand raised and ready to knock. "I've been waiting 
for years for you to get here. Get your ass in here."

She grabbed me and dragged me inside before I could 
say anything, kicking the door closed behind us 
before attacking me with a hug. This was unusual even 
for her, so all I could do was return the hug while 
my brain shifted gears, and the hug quickly became 
just standing in the hall holding each other.

"So... I'm guessing you're happy to see me?" I said 
lamely, and she nodded against my shoulder and heaved 
a sigh before straightening.

"I've been stressing so damn much you weren't going 
to come, that's all. I'm just being stupid, but after 
what I did, I got into this mental spiral cluster 
fuck that you were going to stop talking with me and 
I'd lost my best friend."

"If we can survive my mom going ballistic, I'm pretty 
sure we can survive this."

"Ha. Very funny. That was a fucking cakewalk compared 
to how I've been feeling lately. Now shut up and just 
be here. I need to have this moment of insecurity and 
I'm not going to let you stop me."

I let out a short laugh and said, "Fair enough," 
before wrapping my arms around her again and holding 
her.

"If it helps any," I said after a few minutes, and 
she hummed against my neck, "I've been more worried 
about you than I have been about Sara and Kim. As 
much as I love them, you're still my best friend."

She snorted and lifted her head to give me a bland 
look.

"Really, Mikey? You're going to try being 
sentimentality on me, of all people? Am I not your 
gothest of goth friends? You should know my itty 
bitty heart doesn't have any room for that shit."

I laughed and hugged tight before pulling back.

"Says the one who's just been clinging to me for the 
last ten minutes. I'm here and we're ok, though I 
will require both food and caffeine soon. I believe 
you mentioned something about getting those."

"I did, in point of all that is factual and true, say 
we would get food."

We disentangled and she bobbed into the living room 
ahead of me. Jason was in the recliner reading, and 
she snagged his book and settled on his lap to drape 
around him.

"Man of the house, I require units of currency," she 
said, fluttering her eyes at him. "Preferably in 
denominations of twenty."

Jason gave me a nod and wave before putting his 
attention on Jen.

"I thought you were planning to turn some tricks to 
get money this weekend," he said, stealing his book 
back to bookmark it. "Have the crack dens closed for 
an obscure holiday?"

"Nah. I just changed my mind. Can we borrow twenty so 
we can feed?"

He smirked and sat straight, pulling her arms behind 
her back.

"Is it really borrowing if I never get it back?"

"Hey. I do pay you back. Just not in money."

He laughed and let her go to smack her ass.

"You know where my wallet is, wench, but only twenty. 
We still need food for the week."

She nodded and gave him a hug, then stood and 
wandered down the hall.

"You have your work cut out for you today, man," 
Jason said, setting his book on his lap. "She's kind 
of crazy since the other week, more than she usually 
is. Got it into her head everyone hates her."

"Not everyone," I said, glancing down the hall. "It's 
been a system shock for Sara and Kim, for sure, but 
Jen needs to be part of any recovery or they will 
hate her. Kim does already, but Sara's on the fence."

"What about you? You're the one she's worrying about, 
man. Not them so much."

"I don't know how to hate her. She fucked up, yeah, 
but that's what people do, especially when they're 
stressed and hurting."

He nodded and set his book aside, got to his feet and 
walked up to me.

"That's good. Eases my mind, at least. Don't let her 
try to convince you otherwise." He clapped me on the 
shoulder and continued past me down the hall, 
calling, "What's taking you so long, wench? My wallet 
ain't that hard to find."

"So says you," she called back from his room. "It's 
not where you usually keep it."

Jason turned at that and headed to the hall closet, 
reaching into his jacket there and pulling out his 
wallet. He held it up and gave me a look before 
continuing down the hall, Jen emerging from his room.

"What do I get if I find it before you?"

"It wasn't on your desk or in your pants, wench, so 
obviously it was in your jacket. I said where you 
usually keep it, and your jacket is not your usual 
spot for it. Doesn't count."

She bumped into him and reached around him to try to 
grab his wallet, but he shoved it into a pocket and 
took hold of her wrists, holding her in place. She 
fluttered her eyes at him again, putting on her pixie 
look.

"You need to talk with him," he said, ignoring her 
come-on. "Get this sorted out, woman."

"I know, Jas. I will. It's my mess, and I'm cleaning 
it up, but it's going to take time. It won't go any 
faster than anyone else is willing to work with me, 
ok?"

"I know, but you need to stop dragging your feet."

She wrenched her hands free and stepped back, tense.

"I am not dragging my feet, Jason. We've been over 
this a dozen times since I fucked up the other day. I 
can not make them-" she pointed past him at me, "-
work out their shit any faster. That's on them, not 
on me. I can't make them want to deal with me any 
faster. I don't want to put Mikey in the middle, but 
that's all I can do, so shut up already with the 
dragging my feet shit. I'm doing what I can without 
fucking things up even more, and throwing it back at 
me doesn't help."

She swept past him, tore her jacket out of the 
closet, and gave my hand a rough tug as she passed 
me, issuing a terse, "Let's go." She was out the door 
a second later, slamming it behind her. Jason sighed, 
smoothing his hands over his head and then punching 
the wall. He stayed like that, shaking his bowed head 
and leaning his weight into his fist.

"We haven't had an easy time, either," he said, 
lifting his head and straightening, grimacing at his 
hand. "If that wasn't obvious."

"Yeah, I caught that. Dealing with Sara and Kim, I 
can kind of understand, but I can't fix it. Best I 
can do is listen and support, really, so she is 
right. She can only do so much. I can talk with Sara 
and Kim and maybe bring them around to talking with 
her, but until I know what's going on with her, 
that's easier said, you know?"

"I know, man, I know. This is just frustrating as all 
fuck, like our parents all over again." He waved a 
hand at me, indicating the door. "Go talk with her, 
man. That's the best thing any of us can do right 
now. And Mike?"

I stopped at the door.

"I'm sorry you're stuck in the middle of this. 
Getting stress fucked from all ends is hell."

"Yeah, that's one way to put it. I'm still alive, at 
least, and talking with Jen should solve at least 
some of it."

"Let's hope so." He waved his hand at me again. "Go 
on. She's waiting. Has been for months."



Chapter 3

"He's a fucking asshole sometimes," she said, jerking 
her seatbelt down and slamming the lock into place. 
"I am so fucking tired of it right now. I have enough 
stress already, and I know I need to fix this, but it 
needs time, and he doesn't want to wait."

"Where do you want to go for food?" I asked, pulling 
out of the drive. My patience with tirades had grown 
a lot since meeting Cindy.

"Shit." She smacked a hand against the door. "I 
didn't get that twenty. Fucking hell. Are you ok 
covering lunch? I didn't want this to happen, and I 
can't handle talking with him right now."

"It's fine. You rant, I'll drive, but I need a 
destination."

"Go wherever you want. I'll figure something out once 
we get there."

"Bull Horn it is, then."

What made the Bull Horn good was being able to get as 
take-out what would have been a table-only meal 
elsewhere. Having had no real food yet, I got the 
biggest burger they had on order, a monster of bacon, 
guacamole, and blue cheese, and a patty doused in 
Worcestershire sauce while it cooked. Jen got a 
chicken salad. I asked after Cindy while we were 
there, but she wouldn't be in for hours yet.

Now with food, we settled in a mostly ignored park a 
few blocks from my place, the absence of play 
structures making it practical only for picnicking or 
dog exercise. There was an older man tossing a 
frisbee for his dog when we arrived, which meant we 
were effectively by ourselves unless the dog took an 
interest.

"Talk to me, woman," I said, eyeing her over my 
burger. "What happened and why didn't you tell me?"

She stabbed her fork into her salad, furrowing her 
brow. She'd already stolen my fries, which she'd 
doused with her extra ranch dressing.

"I'm not sure I can, Mikey," she said after a pause. 
"Well, I mean I can, but I..." She sighed and flipped 
her fork over, hunching over her greens, cheek 
resting on her fist.

"It's going to keep eating at you if you don't, and 
you know it."

"I don't even know where to start." She picked up her 
fork and stuffed her mouth with lettuce. "There's so 
much crap I want to tell you and I don't know how. 
I've already fucked up so much and I don't want to 
again."

"Jen." I waited until she was looking at me. "You can 
either talk with me and feel better or you can keep 
moping and keep feeling horrible."

"I don't think you know how difficult that choice is, 
Mikey."

She went back to poking at her salad after a few 
seconds and I waited. I knew she'd already made up 
her mind, so it was just a matter of goading her with 
silence.

"I'm not the one who initiated the relationship," she 
said after about ten minutes, enough time I'd 
finished my burger and she'd finished most of her 
salad. "With Jason, I mean. I keep trying to draw 
parallels with the relationship Sara and Kim have, 
like some kind of relationship geometry. They seem 
like they know what they're doing."

She finished her salad and stabbed at the fries, 
which had become a droopy mess.

"I don't feel like it's an unhealthy relationship 
with him. He's really good to me most of the time, 
and the worst we ever get is yelling at each other. 
It's just... saying it's complicated is such a stupid 
cop-out, and I really don't want to say it's 
complicated, but it is complicated."

"What started it?"

She lifted a forkful of dressing drenched fries and 
watched them drip before eating them.

"I don't remember. We both have a subversive streak a 
mile wide, so the whole incest thing's radically 
appealing to us." She snorted and looked up at me. 
"Not that this is anything new to you. You know me 
better than I know myself sometimes."

"I don't know about that. You've thrown me pretty 
hard recently, and it's hurt."

She sighed and dropped her fork into her fries, 
shoving them aside.

"I know. Do I ever. I feel so bad about that, you 
have no idea. I'd say I'm sorry, but I know you don't 
want sorry. I'll try for honest, instead."

She took my hand when I held it out to her and 
squeezed hard.

"He started flirting with me before moving out to do 
his tattooing. I was fourteen, maybe very late 
thirteen. I don't remember exactly, but fourteen for 
sure, when my hormones really started to kick on. You 
know all about that." She gave me a bland, knowing 
look. "He was seventeen, eighteen. He moved out just 
before he turned nineteen, so things cooled down a 
bit. We didn't actually start having sex until I was 
sixteen, because the flirting and teasing was still 
just something to keep us entertained, nothing 
serious."

"About when you hooked up with Kit."

"It was why I hooked up with Kit. He was my cover." 
She held my gaze, not saying anything for a few 
seconds. "That makes me a horrible person, doesn't 
it? I hooked up with him to hide that I was sleeping 
with Jason. I wasn't interested in Kit, but he was 
convenient and easy, and it fell into place so 
nicely. He's grown on me some, but that's a whole 
other thing I want to vent about. I couldn't get 
birth control if my parents thought I wasn't sleeping 
with anyone. The whole thing's a lie. All of it. It's 
been tearing me up for years and I can't handle it 
anymore."

"What about condoms?"

She laughed, short and unhappy, and said, "Let me 
tell you, finding out you're allergic to latex when 
it's your first time is beyond not fun. We didn't 
make that mistake again. I was visiting him at school 
when we hit our first homer, and fuck if there 
couldn't have been a more perfect opportunity. Our 
parents weren't there, his roomie was cool with 
sharing condoms and his weed, we were both horny, and 
I wanted to prove I could escalate more than he 
could."

She went quiet for a time, staring past me while she 
thought.

"I'm not really sure why we kept doing it except I 
wanted to. Kind of a, 'You started this, now you have 
it,' act of childish revenge. It would have been so 
easy to just stop after that first time, especially 
with my reaction to the condoms. But we didn't, and 
it got us disowned. That's a mistake I can't fix. I 
didn't used to hate myself for sleeping with Jas, but 
after mom and dad... I don't know, Mikey. I just keep 
fucking up and hurting everyone I care about."

She paused, tilted her head to the side and put her 
attention on me.

"I've been afraid I'd do the same thing with you if I 
told you about all of this, so I didn't, and it's 
happened anyway, and it's even hurt people you love. 
I want to be a video game and get another life so I 
can avoid all these mistakes."



Chapter 4

"I'm going to need time to take all that in," I said, 
giving her hand a squeeze, and she nodded. "It sounds 
like you're mad at Jason, though, underneath 
everything else that's happened."

"I know I am. I realized that a while ago, but I 
can't get away from it. It's always there, and I'm as 
much to blame as he is. I'm as mad at him as I am at 
myself. I feel like I'm going insane with all this 
impotent rage screaming circles in my head."

"I'm sure Cindy could tell you all about impotent 
rage, but putting the two of you together right now 
would be a bad idea, I think. She's incredibly 
protective of the people she cares about."

She nodded and dropped her head to her arm on the 
table, the movement of her body and sound of her 
breathing telling me she was crying. I moved to sit 
beside her and leaned against her, one arm around her 
while I held her.

"I don't know how to fix this, Mikey," she said after 
a few minutes, muffled by her arms and the table. 
"It's too much, and you're here now, but I don't know 
if you'll stay, and then I've lost everyone if you 
leave. I haven't given you any reason not to hate me, 
too. Everyone else does, and me."

"I don't want the self-pity, Jen. I want you to vent 
so you can get back up. I may not always be around, 
but I'm not going to leave you. Unless you stab me in 
the back, anyway. Now vent. You can't be afraid of 
the dark."

She laughed, a short, unamused sound, and moved one 
hand to grip mine, though she kept her head buried.

"Now that's pathetic, a goth grrl afraid of the dark. 
Fuck me running." She snorted back snot and took a 
few minutes to collect herself, wiping her eyes and 
using the spare napkins to blow her nose. "I'm sorry, 
Mikey. I did say I needed to be insecure. I don't 
know what's wrong with me."

"You're hurt and depressed." I turned her to look at 
me and pressed my forehead to hers. "You just need to 
remember I'm here for you, ok?"

"Can I at least have a bfg so I can just nuke the 
fuck out of everything?"

"No. You can have a chainsaw. That's it."

"You're such a bastard. Can I at least have god 
mode?"

"You already have it. Are you going to use it or 
not?"

"I don't know how to use it. I just get an error 
every time I try iddqd."

"Just talk to me, woman. You've been doing fine so 
far."

She sighed and hugged me, then draped her arms around 
my neck.

"You make it sound easier than it is."

"It's a good thing I never said it would be easy. Are 
you going to talk?"

"Let's find somewhere more comfortable. My ass is 
falling asleep."

I stood and held my hand out to her.

"Coffee and donuts at the library?"

She gave me a considering look after I'd hauled her 
to her feet.

"You're trying to spoil me, aren't you?"

"Only if it will actually work."

"I could go for some spoiling, I think. Might help 
with feeling wanted by someone, even if it is only my 
best friend."

"Only your best friend?" I said, tone light and 
obviously teasing. "Only? You're just full of barbs 
lately."

I put an arm around her waist, and she did the same 
on the way to my car. None of the good donut shops 
were open later than one in the afternoon, so we made 
due with coffee shop donuts. She preceded me and I 
watched her swaying hips and swishing skirt. She 
glanced over her shoulder at me and stopped, bumping 
her ass back at me.

"Stop staring," she said when, starting forward 
again. "You're already taken and you're not getting 
lucky with me. Sex just complicates things and fucks 
them up, and I can't do that with you. I want to keep 
my best friend, thank you."

"I know. Doesn't mean I can't appreciate, though."

She didn't say anything more, pulling my arms around 
her waist and leaning back against me while we waited 
in line and surveyed the menu. With a mediocre 
selection, we just got hot chocolate and some 
eclairs.

"That's another thing I don't think I should have let 
happen," she said around a mouthful of pastry once we 
were back in the car. "Masturbating in front of you 
and Sara."

I arched an eyebrow, sipping at my too hot hot 
chocolate.

"Why's that? We all enjoyed it and it hasn't been a 
problem since."

"It's not that. It was awesome fun, don't get me 
wrong, and I think I might want to do it again, if 
this mess I made can be cleaned up. I just feel like 
it set expectations. We did it once so what's the 
problem with doing it again?" She twirled her fingers 
next to her head. "It's all helter skelter in my head 
with how things have gone with Jason. The first time 
didn't feel like it was a problem, or the second or 
third, but the more it happened, the more it was a 
problem. I don't want to repeat that with you. Maybe 
it won't bother me later, but I don't think us having 
sex would be good for us."

I set aside the stump of my eclair and leaned 
forward, gesturing her to do the same. I cupped her 
face in my hands once she had and held her gaze.

"Whatever happens between us with sex should be 
consensual. That's my line. I learned that the hard 
way with Sara, and Kim kicked the crap out of my 
shins for it. Probably would have done more, but I 
think me losing my temper pulled her up short. You're 
attractive, but that's not why you're my best friend. 
Getting into your pants isn't as important as your 
friendship. If you don't want to, we won't, and if I 
want to get lucky, I have Sara and Cindy I can go 
to."

"I'm glad we understand each other. I will now send 
mixed signals, because that's what women do, right?"

She kissed me and I laughed, and did again when she 
stuffed the rest of her eclair into her mouth, 
filling squirting out onto her fingers. She hummed 
and wiggled her eyebrows at me, sucking her fingers 
clean.

"If I were anyone else, I would actually be confused 
by your act."

"I know, which is the only reason I can get away with 
it." She pulled her seatbelt on and pointed out the 
front window. "Schnell, zu die Bibliothek!"



Chapter 5

We claimed one of the corner tables in the 
periodicals area when we got to the library because 
it was the least busy area, which meant she could 
vent her frustrations with little possibility of 
being interrupted.

"See, I don't get that," she said, drumming her 
fingers on her empty cup. "I never have. I think it's 
about self-esteem and growth. How can you tie your 
self-worth to what someone else wants out of you? How 
do you grow into being a better person like that? 
That's such a one-sided relationship, and it's a 
feedback loop when one person is in control and the 
other person isn't allowed input."

I shrugged and added a few more lines to my current 
doodle, turned it a few degrees to see it at a 
different angle.

"I'm really not into the Master/slave thing, either, 
so I have no answers. A lot of what I know is either 
just basic human nature or I've picked up some stuff 
from Cindy."

She heaved a sigh and shoved backward, leaning 
against the back of her chair and folding her arms 
over her chest.

"But you at least see why I'm having a hard time 
coming at this, right? Trying to get into his head to 
understand why he likes being so dominated is doing a 
major mind trip on me. I feel like I'm losing myself, 
and I don't like that."

I stopped doodling and looked up at her, setting my 
pencil down and leaning forward on my elbows.

"You're not happy with the relationship, so just call 
it done. You know you can't save it, and you know you 
can't stay friends. With everything you've said 
today, I don't think staying with him is a good idea. 
It's just going to remind you of everything you want 
to move past."

"But I don't know how!" She lifted her hands to the 
sides of her head and gripped them in her hair in 
frustration, arms held out to her sides. "I know 
you're right, and I'm not trying to argue with you 
about that, but I don't know what to do about it. How 
do I break up with him? It's not like I can just up 
and say, "I'm breaking up with you; go home," and 
then close the door in his face."

"Well, you could." I arched an eye at her, idly 
twirling my pencil between my fingers. "I doubt that 
would go very well, though. Just tell him why you're 
not happy, something like you two obviously aren't 
right for each other because of the power dynamic and 
blah blah blah, and then send him off."

"You make it sound like the simplest thing ever," she 
said dryly, leaning her elbows on the table and 
holding her head in her hands. "And going into 
holiday season is about the worst time of year for a 
break up, besides."

"Putting it off isn't going to make it easier."

"I know, I know." She whined and curled her fingers 
into loose fists. "It's just hard. I wish I could 
figure out some way to make this easier."

I reached over and pulled her hands away from her 
face and put them on the table, and she looked up at 
me.

"Fighting yourself about this isn't going to make it 
easier, either. Sometimes you have to hurt to be 
happy, especially if you're in a relationship you 
don't want anymore."

"Something else you learned from Cindy?"

"Something I learned watching other people," I 
answered, shaking my head, "and from working with 
Sara and Kim on our relationships."

She nodded and sighed, turning her attention to look 
at the woman who was walking by to return magazines 
to the shelves.

"So I just need to buck up and do it like a big 
girl," she said at length, lifting her hands again 
and pressing her palms against her cheeks to hold her 
head.

"Either that or keep tormenting yourself."

"That's not the sort of torment I enjoy, thank you. 
I've been teasing myself for a week and a half now, 
but my libido's just not into it, and the thought of 
cumming actually bores me."

"I'm sure once your libido kicks back on you'll be 
enjoying it more."

"Probably, but right now it's more just to distract 
myself so I don't get too angsty." She shrugged, 
arranging her skirt over her knees. "How are Sara and 
Kim doing? They're working things out alright with 
everything that happened?"

"They're doing better, but considering how much 
effort they've put into keeping their relationship 
hidden, it's hard for them to come to terms with. It 
was different with me because they chose to tell me. 
They knew it was going to happen, so they didn't have 
that whole mental and emotional stumble that happened 
with you just up and saying, "Hey, I know you're 
fooling around and so am I, so let's be pals.""

She frowned.

"Is that really how they see it?"

"Kim does, but a lot of it's also not liking you 
much. You've made a really bad impression on her. She 
was more willing to make up with Cindy than she is 
with you right now, and Cindy didn't start off well 
with her, either. I think some of it has to do with 
being found out and how."

"But doesn't Cindy know about them, too?"

"I never said it made any sense."

She sighed and slumped forward, banging her head 
against her folded arms.

"I'm sorry, Mikey. You have no idea." She lifted her 
head and propped her chin on her stacked fists, 
holding her attention on me. "I really wish I had a 
time machine, only without all those morloks and 
being able to travel both ways, and travel back to 
last year so I could slap some sense into myself. 
Maybe I'd still have my family, or at least I could 
come to you first thing after that and none of this 
would have happened."

"You're playing what-if."

"Maybe I need to play what-if right now. I want to 
know what I need to do to fix things."

I closed my doodle book and shoved it aside, more a 
distraction at this point than anything productive.

"As far as I go, you're already doing it, but it's 
going to take time. I'll talk with Sara and Kim, if 
you're ok with me telling them what you've told me, 
but I don't think it will do much to change Kim's 
mind yet. I'm sure Sara will come around to talking 
with you when she understands more, but I don't know. 
I can't help you with Jason."

"I don't want you to help with Jason. He's my 
problem."

She flipped through my doodle book, head propped on 
one hand while she thought.

"I think I want to make up with Sara more than anyone 
else. Other than you, I mean." She sighed, dropping 
one foot to the floor and leaning on the arm of her 
chair. "I'm not good with people. Mostly women, which 
is muchly ironic, isn't it? Since I'm a woman and 
all. Sara seems to be an exception, but I think with 
her it's because she's with you, so I can proxy her 
as a stand-in for you or something. I don't know. It 
doesn't make sense to me, so that makes it harder to 
put into words. You see why I wanted to talk with you 
first about all this before I went and fucked 
everything up? You're my sounding board, and you 
won't judge me if I say something stupid."

"You can leave the stupid comments to me, and I'm 
going to hit you with horrible metaphor to prove it. 
Are you ready?"

"Ready as ever, mon capitaine."

"You know those stress balls made out of the memory 
foam or whatever it is they use? If our personalities 
are like those, we'd each have our own shape that 
fits well with the shape of some people's personality 
but not so well with other people. You and I have 
known each other so long we fit pretty much 
perfectly. Sara and I happened to run into each other 
when our shapes matched really well. It took longer 
for me and Kim to fit together because we hadn't 
found the right way to fit and mold to each other, 
though we still have to figure out some things. But 
it's a give-and-take process to get the best fit with 
someone, especially people you don't fit well with. 
You have to adapt your shape to make it work, and 
they have to do the same."

She just looked at me before bursting into laughter, 
then twirled a finger next to her head.

"That is the most fucked up and ridiculous metaphor 
you have ever used, Mikey. We're stress balls? No 
wonder we're so fucked up."

"Hey, I did say it was horrible." I pointed my pencil 
at her. "But it works. You understood what I was 
getting at."

"Stress balls!" she cried, laughing even harder. "And 
the best thing about those? They bounce!"

She tick tocked her head from side to side like a 
metronome, her braids getting into a counter motion, 
and then buried her face in her arms while she got 
her giggling under control. It took her a minute or 
two, but she finally did, raising her head and 
catching her breath.

"Great Cthulhu! That was hilarious. Your new nickname 
is officially Mr. Metaphor."

I laughed and poked her with my pencil.

"Not Mr. Wizard?"

"Hell no. You're not blinding me with science."



Chapter 6

We talked for another few hours, gradually shifting 
from her worries and desire for feedback to more 
every day things, and we left the library with enough 
time to make it by the Bull Horn to catch Cindy 
before work. We were early, so we sat and waited.

"Cindy," I called to her, waving across the parking 
lot at her when I saw her walk up.

She changed course and met us halfway, eyeing Jen but 
biting her tongue on her immediate comment. She 
draped on me and stayed there, her face against my 
neck. I stroked her hair and ran my fingers along her 
back, holding her and feeling some of her tension 
fade under my attention.

"What's wrong?" I asked, massaging the back of her 
neck.

She shook her head and pulled away a bit, drawing in 
a deep breath.

"Nothing," she said, giving me a kiss. "Just in a 
funk. I'm glad you're here today. I wasn't looking 
forward to being here."

I brushed her hair out of her face and tucked it 
behind her ear, holding her gaze with mine.

"That's all?"

She was silent for a moment before answering, 
dropping her eyes.

"And worried about you three," she admitted, shifting 
her look to Jen. "What's up with her? New 
girlfriend?"

"Best friend," Jen corrected, holding steady under 
Cindy's scrutiny.

"I thought that was Sara."

I placed a hand gently against Cindy's cheek and 
turned her face to me. She didn't resist, which was a 
good sign.

"It's possible to have more than one," I said to her. 
"I've known Jen my whole life. She can be a bitch 
sometimes, but she is a good person. I know she 
hasn't left a good impression with you, but I don't 
want you baiting each other. We have enough stress 
right now without that, too. We're spending today 
talking so she can fix the mess she made, and she 
does know it's her fault."

"For what it's worth, I am sorry about how I treated 
you at the party, and about everything else I screwed 
up with them and you," Jen said, sounding genuinely 
apologetic.

"I've had too many apologies in my life," Cindy said 
to Jen, shifting her eyes from mine to hers, "from 
people who didn't mean it and then kept hurting me, 
so you'll have to forgive me if it doesn't mean 
anything to me anymore. Show me you mean it. Don't 
tell me."

"What would do that? I know I haven't left a good 
impression, but I like to think Mike's friends can be 
my friends, too, so I want to change that so we can 
be. What can I do?"

Cindy opened her mouth and caught herself before 
saying something sharp, shaking her head instead.

"I'm sorry, but right now I'm not in the mood for 
it," she said. "I don't know what your plans are for 
the day, but Mike can tell you all about my moods. 
You haven't caught me in a good one, so you'd be 
getting an earful of bitch if I didn't have enough 
control left right now to hold myself in check. I'm 
sure you're sincere, and you wouldn't be friends with 
Mike if you didn't have some redeeming qualities, but 
all I've seen is the bullshit, so just shut your 
mouth and stay silent for now."

To Jen's credit, she did, just giving Cindy a nod, 
and Cindy sighed and buried her face against my 
shoulder again.

"I'm sorry, Mike," she breathed, hugging tighter to 
me. "I'm sorry I'm such a bitch to everyone - and 
she's included, despite what I just said - but I'm so 
glad you're able to see past that. You have no idea 
how much that helps me." She drew in a long breath 
and let it out slowly, lifting her head again to look 
at me. "What brings you by? Did something else come 
up I need to be worrying about?"

"No, nothing else," I said, tilting her head down so 
I could kiss her forehead, and she smiled a bit. "I 
just want to spend some time catching up with you, 
since I've arranged the weekend mostly to myself."

"Does that mean you can come by during my lunch?" She 
gave me a hopeful look.

"When is it?"

"Eight on the dot, half an hour, but be a little 
early. The last thing I want to eat today is more of 
the crap they call food here."

She shuddered against me and made a puke face before 
she let me give her a kiss.

"I'll be here."

She smiled again and gave me another kiss, her hand 
on the back of my neck, and then just pulled me into 
a full-on kiss.

"Thank you," she whispered, kissing the corners of my 
mouth. "I've missed the three of you, so seeing you 
will help a lot. Even just this has made my day 
better. I need to go before I'm late, though."

Another quick kiss before she pulled back and I 
grabbed her shoulders before she could turn away, 
moving my hands up to cup her face and give her a 
slow kiss. Her smile was brighter after that one, but 
faded just as quickly when she turned and trudged 
into work.

"If you think you're blunt, Cindy has you beat," I 
said after Cindy had walked through the front door.

"Yeah, I got that." She made a sour face and looked 
at me as we climbed back into my car. "When she said 
all she's seen from me is bullshit, did she mean what 
happened at the party or what happened when I fucked 
up on talking with you three about...?"

"All of the above." I turned to her after I'd started 
the car. "Cindy's very protective of the people who 
mean something to her, so she's probably not going to 
be very accepting of you until everything's been 
smoothed over with Sara and Kim."

"My batting average on this sucks hard rainbow donkey 
balls." She planted her fists on her knees and 
stomped her feet hard against the floor board a few 
times, her head back as she screamed in frustration. 
"How did I manage to fuck this up so badly, Mikey? 
How!? I feel like I'm going to cry again, but then 
I'd just feel stupid for crying about something I'm 
already trying to fix."

"I'm blaming it on inexperience, myself," I said, 
turning around so I could see while I pulled out. 
"I've done some really stupid things with Sara and 
Kim and even Cindy, but I've learned from them. We 
just need to do the same with this while we work it 
out."

"Bah! Learning is for smart people."

"Fortunately, we are smart people most of the time."

"Ha." She swatted my arm. "Stop being technical, 
smart ass. If I were the angry dumb girlfriend, I'd 
be demanding you take me home right now for trying to 
be all mature and grown up about this. You know this, 
right?"

"Looks like we're safe from that, too. None of the 
criteria fit."

"Thank Cthulhu for that."

"Iä! Iä!"



Chapter 7

We spent the next few hours loitering around one of 
the local book stores and the neighboring art shop, 
where she got some books and I picked up more art 
supplies, including some gel markers for color work. 
She related an overview of the blowup and falling out 
with her parents while we were shopping, but resisted 
details as too painful. I broke in my gel markers by 
drawing a gold star in a heart on her forehead before 
letting her go for the day.

I stopped by Miguela's - one of the better Mexican 
food wagons in town - on the way to pick up Cindy to 
get food for her, the smell making me hungry again. I 
spent a few minutes getting packages opened while I 
waited to fetch her. Inside, I sat myself on one of 
the benches to wait the few minutes until Cindy was 
on her break, standing as she approached in a rush. 
She threw herself against me in a hug and held tight, 
and I ran my hand along her back, noticing her whole 
body was hard with tension.

"Let's get out of here," she said quietly before 
releasing me and taking my hand. I could tell she was 
having a hard time not just dragging me behind her to 
my car. "I need good food. I don't care what it is as 
long as it's not burgers and fries. And then-" she 
stopped in front of my car and turned to look at me, 
"-I seriously need to be held. My whole body aches 
from how tense I am, and Aaron's out of town, so I 
can't do what I usually do when I get like this."

"Which is what?"

She raised her arms spread above her head and planted 
her feet just as wide.

"Suspend me spread eagle and flog me for an hour with 
our Hitachi buzzing between my legs," she said 
evenly, then dropped her hands and stood straight 
again. "I don't know if you're willing to learn-"

I laughed and grabbed her waist, pushing her backward 
to the passenger side door.

"I'd love to learn," I told her before giving her a 
kiss. "Think you could do that?"

"Which I was just going to say before you got all dom 
on me." She bit at my lip, pulling me against her 
when she fell back against the car door. "You'd be 
good at it. You pay attention and pick up on body 
language well enough to know when you need to stop. 
Not like some of the other people I've been with..."

"I'll have to come over sometime, then. Tonight, 
maybe?" I kissed the corners of her mouth and then 
gave her a deep kiss to pull her back from the spiral 
she was perched on the precipice of. "But right now, 
you have an enchilada and some fajitas waiting for 
you. They're not hot, but they're a long way from 
cold. Picked them up on the way here."

"Oh, that is exactly what I need."

She shoved me away and spun around, opening the door 
and clambering into the car. I laughed and walked 
around to take my seat, and she'd already downed half 
a fajita by the time I had gotten in beside her.

"Thank you!" she exclaimed around her mouthful of 
chicken and roasted peppers and onions. "This from 
Miguela's?"

"Yeah. Best Mexican food in town."

"Fuck yes they are. God, this is fucking delicious. 
Thank you thank you thank you. You have seriously 
made my day so much better with just the few minutes 
I've been able to see you." She wolfed down another 
fajita, purring in hungry satisfaction the whole 
time, before continuing. "Why'd you decide to come 
by, anyway? I know you said you want to catch up, but 
what else is there?"

"We haven't spent any time together for a while," I 
said, snatching one of her roasted peppers. "I wanted 
to see how you're doing, make sure you're ok."

She stopped and just looked at me, then set down the 
fajita she'd just wrapped and pulled me across the 
center console, leaning into me and holding tight 
while she shook and fought to keep from breaking 
down. I ran my fingers through her hair and kissed 
the side of her neck, holding her until she had 
calmed down. She put one hand on my cheek and gave me 
a hard kiss when she pulled back and sat down again, 
her eyes held on mine.

"Do you know how many people have done that for me 
since I tried to kill myself, come by just to see if 
I'm ok?" she asked, only a slight tremor in her 
voice, and I shook my head. "Until I met you three, 
it was only Aaron and my sister. Two people, Mike. 
Two fucking people. And-" She growled and clamped her 
eyes shut, squeezing back tears and clenching her 
hands, digging her nails into her palms. She let out 
a long, slow breath, speaking again after a minute. 
"God damn it. I'm sorry. I don't mean to be like this 
so often. Or all the fucking time, it feels like."

"You're obviously needing some good attention," I 
said, an intentional understatement.

"Fuck. Fucking understatement of the month, Captain 
Obvious. Other than being here right now, there's not 
a damn thing you can do, though. You need to be there 
for Sara and Kim because your friend Jen is a fucking 
idiot." She held up her hand before I could reply, 
giving me a steady look. "I'm sorry, but she is. She 
should have let it slide when Sara made her slip, let 
it slide all the way down and sink to the fucking 
bottom. She had the right idea to begin with and she 
fucked up, and now all of you, and that includes her 
and her damn brother, are all out of shape because of 
her god damn impulsiveness. That pisses me right the 
fuck off, because you shouldn't be, and I don't want 
you to be, because I fucking care about you. I don't 
like seeing you hurting. God damn it."

She tightened her jaw and squeezed her eyes shut 
again, gouging one of her thumb nails into the soft 
center of her wrist. She shook her head violently 
when I reached over and took her hand in mine.

"Cindy."

"You can't give me what I need right now, so let me 
fucking do this," she snapped, glaring at me, her jaw 
tense.

"If you didn't have to go back in to work, your neck 
would be getting bite marks all over as hard as you 
could handle," I said evenly, and she drew in a sharp 
breath.

"Don't you even fucking dare tease me right now," she 
said through her teeth. "Don't you fucking dare, or I 
will force you."

"What time are you getting off tonight?"

She closed her hand on mine and squeezed, hard enough 
I winced and she was shaking.

"Do not tease me," she said, her eyes narrowed at me 
and her breathing shallow. "I clock out at ten, and 
unless you plan to spend the night with me, don't you 
even fucking think about being here when I do. I need 
Aaron, or you, right now, and if you are here when I 
walk out that fucking door there-" she gave a hard 
look at the front door of the Bull Horn "-I am NOT 
going to let you go home to Sara and Kim tonight, 
whether they need you right now or not."

"I'm going to need my hand in working order when I 
pick you up and we get to your place," I said, 
glancing down. "I already arranged the weekend for 
myself, so being with you right now won't be a 
problem."

It looked like it took all her willpower to release 
her death grip on my hand, and I flexed my fingers 
once she had, wincing at the pain flaring through my 
joints. I pointed behind her at the far corner of the 
parking lot.

"I'll park over there and I'll be here early."

"You had better fucking be here, mister," she 
growled, giving me a hard, hungry look, and I could 
see she was barely holding herself in check. "If you 
fucking stand me up, none of you will ever speak with 
me again. I stopped with the second chances a long 
fucking time ago."

"You know I wouldn't do that. I'll be here."

"Good."

She grabbed my hair and jerked me forward to give me 
a short, violent kiss, and I bit hard on her lip, 
getting a deep, guttural snarl of pleasure out of her 
when I did.

"I don't think you have any fucking idea what you've 
just gotten yourself into," she rumbled, her voice 
low and husky, staring at me.

"I'm an eager student." I grinned and bit her lip 
again. "Eat before you need to go back. I'll be here 
at quarter 'til."



Chapter 8

I was earlier than that, coming in a full half hour 
before so I could tie some knots. I'd gone by home to 
get my ropes, the remote vib Sara enjoyed so much, 
and some clothes pins. I considered picking up a gag 
for good measure, but decided against it. I didn't 
need complicated knot work, since it wouldn't be on 
long, but it did need to hold. I had almost no 
practice in reading her to know when to stop and 
leave her on the edge, and I wanted to torture her a 
bit before we really got into it.

Once the clock hit five 'til, I stepped out and stood 
against the trunk of my car to wait, taking the time 
to call my parents and let them know I'd be at 
Cindy's for the night. She was out the front door of 
the Bull Horn not even a full minute after the clock 
hit ten. Even from across the parking lot I could see 
her tense sigh of relief when she spotted me, speed 
stalking toward me with her pack bouncing on her back 
and her breasts bouncing in front. She didn't say 
anything, just pinned me to my car and molded her 
body hard against mine, immediately shoving her 
tongue into my mouth, a violent, hungry kiss that 
matched her already heavy breathing. I twisted one 
leg around her calves so I could get her balance out 
from under her and spun us around, grabbing her hands 
and bending her backward against the trunk, pinning 
her there and holding her hands above her head. I 
didn't kiss her, though, hovering over her and 
holding her gaze while she panted and squirmed.

"Maybe you do know what you're getting into," she 
said once she had her wits back. "That was a really 
good read. I'm impressed." She strained against my 
grip but wasn't strong enough to get out, though she 
easily could if she wanted to. "What are you 
thinking?"

"I can't surprise you if I tell you, can I?"

I bit her throat and she drew in a sharp, ragged 
breath, closing her eyes and arching her back to 
expose more skin. I bit her again, harder this time, 
and an intense shiver raced through her body as she 
arched even more, moaning in quiet frustration.

"More..." she begged, straining again to get her 
hands free of my grip. "That has me so close..."

"You have permission to cum when we get to your 
place." I pushed her body back against the trunk and 
locked eyes with her. "I want you to hold it until 
then, and let me know when you're close."

"You had better fucking drive fast, because I'm 
already holding it." She twisted her arms and pushed 
them higher above her head, breaking my grip so she 
could flip me around, pressing against me and 
grinding slowly. She touched her forehead to mine and 
dropped her voice, her breath ragged and fast. "What 
else are you going to have me do before we're back 
home?"

"Get in and find out," I told her, grabbing hold of 
one of her breasts and giving it a hard squeeze.

She emitted a low, guttural growl and gave my crotch 
a squeeze in return, then bit at my lip before 
stepping to the side and climbing into the passenger 
seat. She was sliding her panties off by the time I 
was getting in and then pulled the vib on, seating it 
firmly against her pussy.

"You're making this fucking impossible for me to not 
cum before we're back at my place," she said evenly, 
grabbing my hand and shoving it between her legs, 
where I immediately went to work on her very swollen 
clit. "And that's not helping!" she gasped, clawing 
at the back of my shoulders and almost immediately 
crying, "Don't stop!", which, of course, I did. She 
let out a long stream of desperate "fuck"s, clinging 
to my shoulders and biting at the side of my neck to 
muffle her frustration, her hips arched up hard, 
seeking that last little bit of stimulation to put 
her over the edge. I held the vib away from her pussy 
to further deny her as she whimpered and bucked.

"God damn it!" she snarled when she was able to speak 
again, swallowing hard and shaking with need, 
grabbing my face between her hands, not able to hold 
me steady enough for the kiss she wanted. "Fucker. 
You enjoy doing that far too fucking much for your 
own good, and it is NOT what I fucking need right 
now. You tease me any fucking more like that and I 
WILL get violent on you."

I leaned in and touched my forehead to hers, putting 
my fingers slowly back against her clit. She went 
still and held her breath, but I didn't move them, 
just held them there.

"That's why I brought my rope," I said after several 
seconds, giving time for her wits to come back a bit.

Her look hardened when I told her that. She put a 
hand against my throat and pushed me back far enough 
she could focus on me, her eyes narrowed.

"Hard. Fucking. Limit," she hissed, managing to keep 
her hand from shaking, though her voice trembled. "I 
will never do public bondage ever fucking again, 
Michael. Ever. Public play I can do, or I wouldn't be 
all over you, but I will never, NEVER let anyone tie 
me up again in public, no matter how fucking close 
they are or how fucking much I trust them. You'll be 
tying me up at home, I promise, but you will NOT do 
it here."

I nodded and reached up, taking hold of her hand on 
my throat and kissing her fingers.

"Apologies," I said, leaning in and kissing her 
slowly, and she twined her fingers into my hair, 
pulling me deeper into the kiss.

I started my fingers moving on her clit and she 
moaned into my mouth, working her clit enough I could 
feel it starting to throb under my attentions, 
protruding from its home in defiance. I stopped again 
when she started rocking her hips but left my fingers 
in place, a teasing reminder, and she growled in 
frustration.

"That's the only fucking way you'll be able to keep 
me from cumming right now, you know," she moaned, 
grabbing tight to my wrist and forcing herself to 
pull my hand away from her pussy. "Use your fingers. 
If you use that god damn vib, I'm going to fucking 
cum in seconds, on the edge already or not."

"You've held your orgasm through more intense than 
this thing," I said, ducking in to bite her throat 
just under her jaw. She gasped and her other hand 
flew up to grab the back of my head, holding me 
there.

"I wasn't as desperate as I am now," she breathed, 
gasping even deeper and hissing out a moan when I bit 
harder at the hollow of her throat, and she 
continued, her voice rising. "I'm barely holding as 
it is. And if you keeping biting, I'm going to cum."

She shoved me hard back into my seat, her jaw 
clenched tight as she breathed hard and fast, her 
whole body tense and her eyes squeezed shut so she 
could fight her imminent orgasm, swearing softly in a 
desperate, non-stop stream. I reached over and pulled 
her skirt down, then drew her seat belt into place.

"You'll want to grab the towel," I told her, and then 
started the vib once she'd collected herself, letting 
it run for two seconds before shutting it off again. 
She gasped out a loud, surprised "Shit!" as her eyes 
went wide, her entire body jolting with the sudden 
start and almost immediate stop of stimulation, her 
breath coming in short, sharp gasps while she shook.

I grinned and started the car, the remote for the vib 
held in one hand, and pulled out to head to her 
place, turning the vib on every minute and then off 
again after a few seconds, leaving her clinging 
fiercely to the edge of climax.



Chapter 9

I parked two blocks from her place for a few minutes 
to let her catch her breath and get herself together 
enough she'd be able to walk, and she took the 
opportunity to pull the vib off, her hands shaking. 
I'd realized after the first two or three minutes 
that keeping her on edge wasn't possible, so I'd 
opted instead to just leave the vib on after I'd 
stopped at a light and had her grab a towel from the 
back seat.

"That was nine," she informed me once she had her 
voice back, still breathing hard. "You can make me 
cum like that all fucking night and I still won't be 
sated. I need rough right now."

"Exactly why you'll be getting tied up," I said, 
leaning over and turning her face to mine to kiss her 
and bite her lip, and she gave me an intense look.

"You know how to use a single tail? Or a flogger? 
Clover or vampire clamps?"

"I learn quickly."

"Oh, I know you do. You learn very fucking fast, but 
some of my toys can cause a lot of really fucking 
painful damage if you don't use them right. I need to 
know how much I'm going to need to teach you while 
you're torturing me."

"Only way to find that out is to try it and see, 
isn't it? And the only way I'll get better is 
practice."

I grinned at her and kissed her, brushing my lips 
just barely over hers, pulling back when she pressed 
forward for more.

"You are a fucking tease and an asshole tonight," she 
growled, grabbing my head and dragging me back to her 
to kiss me hard, and then held me in place, staring 
at me. "Until I'm confident enough with you knowing 
what you're doing, we're going to talk over things 
between scenes, understand? What you did well, what 
you need to improve, and what you shouldn't do again, 
and then walk through what you want to do to me next 
so we both know where limits are. When I get in this 
kind of mood, I go for hours once the playing starts. 
I know you have the stamina for that, but can you 
handle it? If I'm going to teach you, we need zero 
bullshit and complete honesty with each other. If you 
have any kind of doubts about anything, tell me, 
because I'll be doing the same. We can't do some of 
what I enjoy safely if we fuck up the communication. 
You know how hard it is for me to trust people, so I 
don't want this fucked up because we fucked up that. 
I'm risking a lot with my stability by invitin
 g you in like this. I'm trusting you a lot more a 
lot sooner than I normally would."

"Then let's start with something simple once we get 
inside." I leaned in and gave her a slow kiss, biting 
her lip. "You have a sybian. You have floggers. You 
have suspension bars and pulleys. You have rope. I 
can frog tie you to the sybian, lock your arms over 
your head, and flog you while I slowly turn up the 
sybian."

"Now that is a perfect fucking start."

She grinned and grabbed my hand, shoving it between 
her legs and dragging me back into a kiss. I slid 
three fingers easily into her and started finger 
fucking her, pressing my thumb hard against her clit, 
her moans filling my mouth and roiling over my tongue 
as I fought with hers, and I pulled my fingers out a 
few seconds after I felt her tightening up for 
another orgasm. She screamed in frustration against 
my mouth as she tried pulling away, but I wouldn't 
let her, pressing her into another kiss as she rode 
out another close-but-not-quite orgasm.

"God damn it, Michael!" she cried when I let her go, 
shaking again. "Stop fucking doing that! Holy fucking 
hell! The more you edge me, the more I want it to 
hurt, and I'm almost at the point I want to add more 
fucking scars to what I already have. Fucking stop! 
That's not the torture I need right now. Make me cum 
until it hurts, and then make me cum some more. Flog 
me. Whip me. Clamp me. Shock me and hot wax me and 
ice me. Slap me and spank me and yank my hair and use 
my holes, but don't fucking deny me! I'm begging you, 
and I hate fucking begging. Please fucking stop with 
edging me! I can't fucking do that right now!"

"Need to get you wanting, right?"

"No, you don't," she snarled, forcing my hand back to 
her pussy, and she gasped and moaned as I started my 
fingers moving fast on her clit, pushing her back 
toward her orgasm, and she tried to keep talking as I 
did. "I've been... oh fuck... wanting... since... 
shit... since you came by... before work. Fuck!"

Her head slammed back against the head rest, her hand 
clasping my wrist to hold me in place, and I kept my 
fingers flicking fast on her clit as she squirmed and 
writhed through her orgasm, whimpering and moaning 
and her whole body spasming. I didn't let her stop, 
though, keeping my fingers moving even as her climax 
faded out, and she started shaking again, slamming 
her palms hard against the center console and arm 
rest, arching away from the seat as I pulled another 
orgasm out of her.

I grinned and pinched her clit as she settled back, 
and she drew in a sharp breath, her eyes fluttering 
open, her hips arching up and her legs spreading. I 
increased the pressure of my hold until my fingers 
were white and she was whimpering and panting, 
clawing at the arm rest and console, pinching as hard 
as I could for several seconds without losing my grip 
from her slickness before releasing my grip.

"Oh fuck!" she cried, a sharp shudder ripping through 
her body as I let go of her clit and she caught 
herself from squeezing her legs together, and then 
slumped back, her hips rocking absently as her pussy 
tried to find more attentions for itself.

"More like that. Much, much more like that..."



Chapter 10

Clothing was the first thing we lost once the front 
door closed behind us. The second was our feet, me 
driving Cindy to the floor and locking her legs in 
mine so she couldn't close them, however unlikely 
that was. She growled at me and did her best to grind 
her ass against my crotch when I grabbed her hands, 
tying them together with her panties and holding them 
above her head. Her growl deepened when I bent to her 
chest and began biting at her breasts, circling her 
nipples and digging a finger hard against her clit. 
She writhed under me, orgasm exploding through her, 
and I scissored one of her nipples between my teeth 
while she came, then moved to the other to do the 
same when her next hit.

She gasped when I gave her pussy a sharp smack, any 
more outcries muffled by pushing her into a kiss 
while I kept at it, managing maybe twenty smacks 
before she started whimpering and trembling. What 
struggling she did was aimed at opening herself more 
to the onslaught, and I shoved four fingers into her 
when I felt it was time to change what I was doing. 
Her eyes flew open at the unexpected stretching 
fullness, half-screaming into our battle of tongues, 
but she rocked her hips up even more rather than try 
pulling back. I pressed my hand into her, stopping 
only when I reached the base of my thumb, and then 
dug my thumb against her clit while moving my hand in 
her.

She came again almost immediately, her whole body 
arching under me and breaking the lock of our kiss. I 
dipped down and bit at her throat, removing my thumb 
from her clit and pushing my whole hand into her when 
her orgasm started tapering off, and she tensed and 
exploded again. I had to release her legs and sit up 
because of the angle, planting my free hand between 
her arms so she couldn't draw them down. She drew her 
legs up instead, giving me a better angle and access, 
and I started fist fucking her as hard as I dared, 
which apparently wasn't hard enough for her. I pulled 
my fist out to its widest point before driving it 
back in, as hard and fast as I could with each 
thrust, and watched her thrash through another dozen 
orgasms before she lost coherency and consciousness.

It didn't take her long to come around, and I twisted 
my hand back and forth in her when she started trying 
to talk. She swore incoherently and rolled into 
another orgasm, her legs flailing in any direction 
but the ones that would get me to stop, and I kept at 
it until she'd had another ten orgasms. She was 
panting deeply and mumbling mercy when I finally 
stopped, but I kept my hand in her as I settled next 
to her.

"Fuck did you learn that?" she managed after a 
minute, swallowing hard and running her toes along my 
forearm.

"You said rough," I said, wiggling my fingers in her 
and feeling her tighten hard on my hand. "That was 
the first thing that came to mind. Or maybe it was 
just divine inspiration."

"The hell you're divine, and I'm no closer." She 
pressed the soles of her feet against my arm, tugging 
futilely and straining to lift her head to see my 
hand in her. "Keep that in me much longer and it will 
hurt too much for me to cum much more tonight. I want 
to hurt, but I want to hurt because I've cum so much, 
not because you fisted me."

"It will need to be replaced with something else, you 
know."

She hummed and focused on me, said, "I can think of 
something. It's been pressing against my ass for the 
last half hour."

"That's just my flashlight," I said, grinning, and 
she laughed.

"Pretty fucking warm for a flashlight, lover. Get it 
in me. I need to feel you cum."

I bit at the hollow of her throat as I uncurled my 
fingers and pulled my hand out of her, smearing her 
juices on her nipples and her mouth before closing my 
fingers in her hair, climbing between her legs. Her 
legs twined around my waist when I slid into her and 
I started fucking her, our gazes locked. She gasped 
with each thrust, clamping her pussy on me hard 
enough I felt like I could feel every detail of her 
insides. I came quickly, closing my mouth over hers 
when I did, and she flowed into another orgasm of her 
own after a few spasms of mine.

"That's all?" she teased, catching her breath and 
squeezing my half-deflated cock to keep it alive. 
"Only a few seconds of fucking me before you cum? Are 
you going to make up for that?"

I laughed and bit her lip, said, "You should know 
that was only warm up."

She hummed and smiled, rocking her pussy against me 
to ride my cock back to full hardness. I lifted up 
and pulled her legs from around me so I could pull 
out of her and flip her over. I shoved back into her 
once she was steady on her knees and grabbed her hair 
again, pulling her head back and leaning over her.

"Don't you fucking dare ask if you're being too 
rough," she said, and I just smiled and shook my 
head.

"Not what I was thinking at all," I said, taking hold 
of her still tied hands. "Hands behind your head, but 
I still want your hair."

Her eyes widened some at that, but she straightened 
up and lifted her arms, dropping her hands down 
behind her head. I lifted her hair over them and took 
it in my fist again, pushing her forward until I was 
holding her up by her hair, her head strained back as 
I started to fuck her. I slapped her ass while I did, 
and her pussy spasmed with each strike, tightening 
toward orgasm and then pulsing hard, her gasps harsh 
from the position. I dropped her to her elbows once 
her pussy had calmed down and she drew in a sharp 
breath, coughing a little before taking her fresh 
freedom of movement to rock back against me.

"Keep your hands behind your head," I said, releasing 
her hair and taking hold of her hips, and I started 
fucking her as hard and fast as I could, spanking her 
hard every few thrusts until her ass was a soft glow 
of hand prints. I didn't keep track of how many 
orgasms she had during that, but it was about ten 
minutes before I came again, taking hold of her hair 
and pulling her backward when I did.

I let her drop back and pulled out of her, and she 
spun to take my cock in her mouth, sucking me clean 
and giving me a hungry look the whole time. She had 
me hard again but didn't try getting me back in her, 
instead just deep throating me and drawing her teeth 
lightly along my shaft when she lifted her head, 
smiling as my cock twitched.

"I hope you're always that creative," she said, 
nipping the head of my cock. "You haven't even 
started with me for the night."

"Let's get to your dungeon and find out," I said, 
lifting her hands up and undoing the knot of her 
panties. "You said something about forced orgasms and 
floggers, if I remember right."

She purred and deep throated me again, playing her 
tongue along my length for almost a minute before 
drawing back and gasping a breath. She grinned as my 
cock throbbed in front of her, ready to cum again, 
and I gripped the sides of her head when she took it 
back into my mouth. She stopped immediately and 
rolled her eyes up at me, giving me a pleading look, 
and her breath quickened when I started bobbing her 
head on me. One of her hands went straight to her 
pussy, working her clit while I controlled her head 
and the speed of the face fuck.

"Don't cum until I do," I commanded, and she made an 
affirmative sound, nodding up at me, the look in her 
eyes telling me she'd been about to. I held her head 
still, cock half in her mouth and she rolled her 
tongue around it. I thrust forward and she quickly 
adjusted, positioning herself, and I started 
thrusting into her mouth, sliding down her throat 
with each shove. I stopped to let her breath every 
few seconds but otherwise kept the pace until I came, 
shoving her face against my stomach and my cock as 
far down her throat as it would go, and she trembled 
violently as she let her own orgasm loose.

She fell back and gasped hard when I let her go, 
coughing and breathing deeply. I settled on my knees 
in front of her while she gathered herself, and she 
ran a hand through her disheveled hair once she'd 
caught her breath. She knocked me backward with her 
weight and we tumbled, her landing on top and 
climbing onto me to straddle me, and she held herself 
on her elbows above me.

"I'm not sure I know exactly where this aggressive 
side of you is coming from," she purred, grinding her 
pussy against my flaccid cock, "but I want a lot more 
of it tonight. Make me fucking hurt. Make me your 
vent and fuck me so hard I'm crying."

"Those are dangerous words, Cindy," I said, moving my 
hands to her breasts to squeeze them hard. She moaned 
and half-closed her eyes, pressing into my hands and 
lowering her face to mine.

"We both need it, Michael. Trust me." She kissed me, 
a slow, lingering caress of lips, and I tasted both 
of us on her skin. "You only have as much control as 
I'm willing to give you. You will know when you've 
gone too far, and I can teach you how to vent safely, 
and you do need to vent. I can see that. I need the 
pain right now and you need to let out some 
frustration. We'll both get what we need, and if you 
want to play safely with us, me and Sara, you need to 
learn these things."

I opened my mouth and she narrowed her eyes at me, 
and I stopped.

"Your only option is to agree," she said, the 
softness of her words belying the sternness of her 
look. "No arguing. No loopholes. Just fucking me 
until it hurts and then fucking me some more until 
we're both sated, and learning while we're doing it. 
That was the condition of you being here tonight."

"I was only going to say we need to relocate to where 
the toys are so we can start."

She snorted and bit my nose, lifting away from me.

"Don't try to bullshit me, Mike. You're not good at 
it and I have a lot of practice recognizing it. Tell 
me the truth and we won't have problems. Now are you 
going to keep your promise of fucking me until it 
hurts too much to cum or not?"

I ran my hands along her thighs while I thought, and 
she waited, watching my face.

"How well are you able to listen while you're being 
tortured?" I asked at length, moving my hands to 
cover hers on my shoulders.

"I can be whatever you need me to be tonight, lover, 
as long as I get what I need, too. Just tell me what 
you need and I will move all the hell in my head to 
make it happen if that's what it takes." She placed a 
finger over my lips before I could say anything, 
shaking her head. "I told you earlier I was risking 
letting you inside my defenses this far, and that's 
part of it. I will be anything you need if it's in my 
power to be that, and I'm trusting you not to abuse 
that. If you do..."

"I won't ever knowingly do that."

"It only takes once, Michael. You're still earning 
your place right now."

"I know." I knocked her hands out of the way and 
grabbed her face, pulling her down to give her a 
kiss. "We're wasting time talking here, though, when 
we could be talking while I have you tied to the 
sybian while I flog you."

"Fucking finally!"

She laughed and gave me a hard kiss, climbing off me 
and padding toward the basement, an eager trot.



Chapter 11

She was twirling a pair of floggers at her sides by 
the time I joined her, one in each hand, head down 
while she rocked and weighed their motions. She half-
turned her head toward me and spun to face me, 
floggers still in motion, weaving figure eights and 
circles and other patterns as she approached. She 
flicked them to a stop and held one out to me, pommel 
first.

"You need to learn how to use things with tails 
before I'll let you use them on me," she said when I 
took it. "That one's broken in pretty well and has a 
good play. And you're already doing it wrong."

I blinked and looked down at the flogger in my hand, 
and she tucked hers under her arm to place her hands 
over mine.

"Don't grip it in a fist," she said, moving my thumb 
to lay parallel to the haft. "A fist is fine if you 
only want brute force, and that's ok with a flogger, 
but not if you're using a cat-o-nine or a snake 
tongue or a single tail."

"Snake tongue?"

"A split tail whip. I don't know where I picked up 
calling it that. They're fun, but they eventually 
break down to just a single tail. Here. We're going 
to beat on my punching bag."

She dragged me to one corner marked off with metal 
bars inlaid in the floor, demarcating a ten foot 
square. A punching bag hung in the corner, suspended 
by a chain-and-pulley system. She reached up to pull 
out a pin locking it in place and hauled on it, 
moving smoothly to the middle of the square before 
replacing the lock pin. Next to the bag's corner home 
was a short double shelf full of workout weights and 
tape and other implements, and a cupboard above that.

I hadn't noticed any of this when I'd been here 
before, but I hadn't spent a lot of time in the 
basement, either.

She pulled dark blue chalk from the cupboard and 
stroked two X's on the bag.

"Hit them," she said, crossing her arms and stepping 
back to give me room.

"It's going to move," I said, eyeing the punching 
bag.

"So do people. That's not an excuse. You're going to 
miss one until you know what you're doing, so just 
hit the fucking thing."

"I appreciate the optimism."

I chuckled and rolled the flogger grip in my hand, 
going over the motions I'd need, then stepped forward 
and swung, landing a solid forehand thwack on the 
first X. The transferred motion set the bag swinging 
and I only managed to hit one leg of the second X.

"You changed your grip on that second swing, and you 
went after them in the wrong order."

"Wrong order, you say." I looked down and adjusted my 
grip on the flogger, watching the bag swing. "Is 
there a reason for that?"

"Your backhand is your weak swing. The grip is 
important because it makes it easier to hit what 
you're aiming at." She stepped forward and stopped 
the bag, then stepped into me, kissing me and biting 
my lip. "Miss your aim and you can hit someone in the 
face. A flogger is just going to sting, maybe leave a 
bruise, because they're soft tails, but you can leave 
scars with other whips. Hitting someone in the face 
is a scene stopper, period."

I nodded and slid my free hand around her waist, 
pressing her against me.

"Is that what your scars are from? Whips?"

"Some of them. Most of them I never wanted. About 
half are from when I walked into traffic and my time 
in the hospital afterward. The rest are... bad 
memories."

She pursed her lips and turned away, moving out of my 
embrace and attacking the punching bag with her 
flogger, fluid, practiced motions landing squarely on 
the X's, each strike hitting harder than the one 
before as she danced with the bag, venting her sudden 
surge of fury. The X's were faded ghosts, barely 
visible, by the time she was spent, and she stood 
still, quaking, and she shook her lowered head at me 
when I started toward her. I stopped and waited, her 
dropping her flogger after a minute and taking a 
stumbling step into my arms, clinging tight and 
pressing her face against my chest.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, followed by a long 
breath. "I don't know where that came from. That 
isn't what I wanted at all."

I lifted a hand to stroke her hair and said, "Are you 
ok to keep going?"

"Yeah. I just need a minute to get that memory back 
where it belongs."

"Do you want to ta-"

"No." Short, sharp, and inarguable. "Fuck no. I will 
not talk about that fucker. Not with you. Not right 
now. Let it fucking lie. It's us tonight, not you 
dealing badly with me breaking down. Just us. Just 
us. Please."

She trailed off into a whisper again and I just held 
her, my fingers running through her hair until she'd 
picked herself back up. She sighed and twisted away, 
dipping to pick up her flogger and then put fresh X's 
on the bag.

"You practice a lot, don't you?" I said when she was 
standing at my side again. She didn't look at me, 
kept her attention on the punching bag.

"Usually every night after work. Before work if I 
have a short late shift. Think you can hit both this 
time?"

"Backhand first."

She nodded and turned, reached up to the back of my 
head to pull me in for a kiss, then pushed me back a 
few steps.

"Watch what I do first. Watch how I move my hands, so 
you see how I'm doing it, and then do the same."

I nodded and gripped her shoulders before she could 
move away, her tension immediately evident under my 
grip, and I squeezed and gave her a kiss.

"You sure a full body massage before we start 
wouldn't be a good idea?"

"I need a massage with these floggers right now. I 
need to hurt, but you need to learn this first before 
I'm comfortable with letting you do that to me. Now 
watch me. I'll move slowly so you can see what I'm 
doing."

She didn't give me a chance to respond, just turned 
and set her feet, and I moved so I could see clearly. 
She poised, a controlled grace that had me thinking 
she'd taken martial arts lessons at some point and 
still practiced. And then she was moving, using her 
grip to train her swing to where she wanted it to 
land, the twist and snap of her wrists imparting the 
main force, rolling from a back swing to a forward 
swing with a simple reorientation, and back around, 
over and over. She sped up with each pass until it 
was a near constant beat of flogger against bag, and 
she stopped when she was out of breath, panting and 
looking over at me.

"Think you can do that?" she huffed.

"Looks easy enough. I'll see what I can do."

"Good. You practice. I'm going to get us some fucking 
drinks."

She drew fresh X's and tossed the chalk and flogger 
into the corner, out of my way as I took her spot and 
she made her way upstairs.



Chapter 12

We were up all night and well past dawn, taking ten 
minutes or so about every half hour to discuss and 
catch our breath. We took a break at three to make 
ourselves food, and I used that time to tell her most 
of what Jen had told me, and then we had each other 
for dessert. By the time sunrise came around, she was 
having a hard time handling her orgasms, and by the 
time eight o'clock showed up, she was begging me to 
stop making her cum. That was my cue to tie her arms 
behind her back, set her on my lap with my dick 
buried in her pussy, and hold her there with a vib on 
her clit until she was limp and incoherent from 
orgasm overload. Once she'd recovered from that, I 
taped a pocket vib to her clit and took her from 
behind until she'd passed out again.

I untied her after that and held her, stroking her 
hair until she came around.

"If both of you ever decide to gang up on me and do 
that," she murmured once she had enough of her brain 
working to speak, "I'm going to be in such heaven." 
She hummed and rolled over to face me, still groggy 
and unfocused, and rested a hand on my cheek, 
stroking with her thumb. "I really liked that last 
bit. Hurt so fucking much but fuck it was good. 
Wasn't expecting that at all."

"Don't pass out from overload often?" I asked, 
smiling and moving her hand to kiss her palm.

"Mmm. Had that plenty, but not like that. Most guys 
can't stay hard that long to do it that way. 's why I 
liked it so much, because you did. Aaron can, too, 
but he's never done that before. Cumming is better 
with a guy in me, more... satisfying."

I brushed her hair out of her face and caressed her 
cheek and neck with my finger tips, watching her.

"We'll have to see about doing this again sometime. 
Maybe in an hour once you've had some rest."

She started at that and blinked blearily at me, 
drawing in a breath.

"Oh fuck no! You made me cum so much I can barely 
move my legs and my pussy feels like a giant bruise. 
I'm afraid to look at it. It stings from the cat-o-
nine. That was a first."

"I got a first with you? I'm surprised."

She pursed her lips and dropped her eyes from mine, 
and I pulled her closer so she was resting against me 
and I could kiss her.

"I only meant that you have more experience," I said, 
lifting her chin so she was looking at me again. 
"That wasn't a judgment about you or what you've done 
in the past."

"I know," she said quietly, nuzzling against my neck 
and sighing. "It's just a very bad habit I have, and 
I don't know how to fix it. There's a lot about me I 
want to fix."

"As long as you come out a better person."

She hummed and shifted against me, looking down my 
chest between my legs as she ran a hand down and 
pinched the head of my flaccid cock, pulling on it 
and running the nail of her pinky lightly along the 
underside. The attention got it going, but slowly. It 
had been through a lot over the last several hours. 
Or rather, seen a lot more action than it had in a 
while. It wasn't sore, but it was a long way from 
being interested in another orgasm.

"I'm not sure sometimes if I know what it means to be 
a good person," she said once she'd gotten me fully 
erect and started idly stroking me. "I don't have a 
lot of references for that."

"Maybe you just missed them before, but you do have 
them now."

"Sometimes I miss what's right in front of me, too. I 
can be really short sighted." She groaned as she 
rolled on top of me, forcing herself into a sitting 
position on top of my thighs and gripping my cock 
with both hands and gently tugging on it. "Like right 
now. I'm feeling like you're mine after everything we 
did last night, but I know in my head that you're 
not. But being like this with you, being this 
comfortable and relaxed with you, that's all I can 
see, that you're mine." She looked down at her hands 
as they continued playing with my cock. "And then I 
start feeling guilty because I want to take you from 
Sara and Kim, but that would mean hurting them, and I 
can't do that. Or I feel like I'm just taking 
advantage of you for my own selfish needs, like doing 
this, because I didn't ask you at all if you were 
able or willing to handle more after everything we 
did last night, and I just... started playing with 
you."

"You want my answer to that last bit?" I asked, 
drawing her attention back to me, placing my hands on 
her hips.

"I'll stop. I'm sorry."

"Don't." I tightened my grip on her hips and moved 
her up so her pussy was sitting on my cock, and then 
lifted her up. "I still want you if you're able to 
handle more yourself."

She purred and grabbed my cock again, aiming me at 
her entrance and then sitting down slowly, still just 
wet enough I slid into her without catching, settling 
herself solidly on my hardness. She placed her palms 
flat against my chest and dug her nails into my skin, 
grinding on me for a few seconds and sighing 
contentedly before lying down on top of me, arms 
going around my neck when I lifted my head. I gripped 
the back of her neck and pulled her down for a gentle 
kiss.

"It's going to hurt so much if I cum again."

"I never said anything about cumming again. I just 
want you. Not in the same way I want Sara or the same 
way I want Kim, but I do want you. I know we haven't 
known each other very long, but you've already had a 
big impact on us, and you're already important to 
us."

She was silent to that, blinking rapidly as her eyes 
started to overflow. She didn't try to hide, though, 
just lowered her head and let tears drip off her nose 
and onto my neck, trying to fight herself back under 
control.

"Mike..." she started, her voice going out, and she 
tried again. "I... Fuck. I feel so damn stupid right 
now." She raised her head back and looked at me 
again, her eyes still wet. "You make it so fucking 
hard sometimes to figure myself out. I can't tell if 
that was the most absolutely fucking perfect thing to 
say or the worst possible thing you could have said 
right now. God fucking damn it." Her breath caught 
and she wiped hard at her eyes. "I'm so fucking 
confused right now, and I'm being selfish, and I want 
you to be mine, and I-" She stopped herself and 
sighed. "I feel stupid for how I feel when I know 
nothing's going to come of it, and I know a lot of 
how I'm feeling right now is just because we spent 
the night together and what we did and being with you 
like this right now."

"You're nervous." She nodded against my palm when I 
placed my hand on her cheek. "Why?"

"Because I want to say something and I know I 
shouldn't, because right now I'd mean it in the wrong 
way, and I don't want to leave the wrong impression. 
I don't want to push you away and I'm worried I would 
if I say what I want to."

"Then don't say it and let it lie for now."

She gave me an imploring look before finally closing 
her eyes after a few seconds, dropping her head down 
to lay in the crook of my neck, sighing slowly.

"I've been trying, and it's a lot harder than I 
thought it would be. I'm afraid of how I'm feeling, 
because it's always meant me getting hurt so fucking 
badly and dying a little more inside. It's why I 
think that saying about it being better to have loved 
and lost is the biggest stinking pile of shit 
anyone's ever come up with. Sometimes it is better 
not to have loved at all if it's always lead you into 
being betrayed and hurt. It makes you hate love."

"Do you hate me?" I asked, stroking my fingers 
through her hair.

She was silent for a long time, and I just ran my 
fingers through her hair, waiting. Now was not for 
pushing, and I let her find her answer in her own 
time.

"No," she finally whispered, almost too quiet for me 
to hear. "And that's what scares me. It scares me so 
much I'm fucking terrified, and I keep looking for 
what's going to go wrong, because it always does. 
Except with Aaron, I've never felt like this and not 
had it go wrong."

"But we're here right now," I said after a minute, 
having a better idea now what she was afraid to say, 
"and we're talking, and we're both happy in the 
moment. We're happy with what's happened between us, 
even if we have both had our stupid moments, and 
we're happy with where we're at now." I turned my 
head and lightly kissed her temple, since she wasn't 
ready yet to move and look at me. That would have to 
be her move. "Shouldn't that make love worth it?"

"That's what I'm confused about. I've never been 
happy like this except with Aaron, and it took me a 
long time to come to grips with that and stop being 
afraid. And now I have you and Sara and Kim, and 
you're treating me like I'm family, and you've been 
supportive, and we've opened up to each other in ways 
I almost never do, and I just... I don't know how to 
handle it, Mike. I've never had anything like this, 
not even when I was growing up. I've always been the 
black sheep."

"Maybe you just needed to find a flock of other black 
sheep where you would fit in."

She was quiet again while she thought, circling one 
finger idly on my shoulder.

"Maybe. I don't know what I need. I haven't for a 
long time. I lost so much of myself I'm still finding 
pieces I thought I'd lost forever because of how 
badly I broke. How can you be the person you want to 
be if you don't even know who you were? That's 
another reason this scares me so much, because I 
don't know where it fits inside me." She sighed and 
shifted against me, grinding slow and hard on my 
cock, even though it had gone soft again. "And I 
don't mean that way, even if it is nice to just lie 
here like we are."

"That's not something I have an answer for, I don't 
think. Finding who you are, I mean. Seems like that's 
always an on-going thing."

"Sometimes I wish it were easier than it is."

She drew in a long, deep breath and let it out slowly 
before lifting up and looking at me, her hair a 
glowing cascade off one side of her head, morning 
light from the patio door falling through it. The 
half-glow was split just enough for a line of sun to 
lie across one eye, making them bichromatic, a faded 
blue in shadow and almost green in the sun. Like Sara 
and her see-through skirt that led to us getting 
together, that's another image that's permanently 
burned into my brain.

"Thank you for not pushing me to say things. That 
means a lot. More than you know."

I smiled and lifted a hand to her cheek, the one not 
covered by her hair, and just held it there, gently 
cupping it against her face.

"You have no idea how beautiful you are right now," I 
said, moving my hand away just enough to trace my 
fingertips lightly over her face, closing her eyes as 
I passed over them. "If only you could see yourself, 
with the light in your hair-" I stroked it slowly 
before lifting my fingers back to her face "-and 
highlighting your eyes and lips, and how content and 
peaceful you look."

"Are you trying to make me cry again?" she asked 
hoarsely, her eyelashes pooling with water even as 
she pressed against my fingertips. "Because you're 
doing a good job of it."

"Depends on if they're good tears or bad tears."

"I don't know." She was murmuring now. "A little bit 
of both, I think. I don't want you to stop, though. I 
don't want you to ever stop. I just want right now to 
never end, because this is the calmest I've been in 
years and the closest I've ever felt to being whole 
with anyone but Aaron."

"Well, I'm not going anywhere for a while, so we can 
hold that and build on it while we can."

She smiled, her eyes still closed as she pulled my 
hand away from her face and came down to kiss me.

"I'd like that very much. Just promise me one thing."

"What's that?"

Her voice was dropping into whisper territory. I 
started massaging the back of her neck and shoulders.

"When we have the energy for it, make love to me."

I hummed and said, "That means right now."

Her smile grew a bit and her, "Please" was barely 
audible, but it was enough.



Chapter 13

I slid my fingers gently over her eyes to close them 
again, tilting her face down to mine so I could kiss 
her eyelids before moving her back and forth and 
working my way down her cheeks to her mouth, parting 
her lips with a slow, insistent pressure. I darted my 
tongue briefly into her mouth, flickering my tongue 
lightly against hers until she started chasing mine. 
She moaned as I grew hard again inside her, and she 
tightened on me, a slowly building pressure as I 
filled her that was matched by her long, soft purr 
against my jaw.

"Slow, lover," she whispered, kissing back up to my 
mouth. "Slow."

I brought both my hands up to cup her face, smoothing 
my thumbs in slow passes against her temples as I 
held her eyes with mine.

"Not lonely anymore?" I asked, a barely whisper 
against her lips.

"Not right now. I feel almost whole and human."

"Good."

I brushed my lips against hers before rolling us 
over, sliding slowly back into her once I was on top 
again. She wrapped her legs around my waist, locking 
her ankles together and rocking slowly, purring while 
I covered her face with kisses. I matched her rocking 
but didn't start moving in her, just holding myself 
buried in her warmth.

"How sore are you?" I asked after a few long minutes 
of gentle grinding, lightly kissing at her throat.

"Incredibly..." She moaned softly as I bit at the 
hollow of her throat. "Too sore for any more orgasms. 
I just want to feel you. Just this right now is 
perfect."

I trailed my kisses up to her ear and lightly sucked 
on her earlobe, and she tilted her head to the side 
for more. She shivered when I bit gently.

"I have permission to torture you some more? We won't 
be going anywhere but here."

She moaned and nuzzled against my neck, kissing my 
ear in return.

"What are you thinking?"

I kissed along her jaw to her chin and tilted her 
head back so I had full access to her throat, biting 
gently as I kissed down to her collar bone. She 
sighed and purred with each bite.

"I want you to want to cum one more time."

She let out a longer moan, twining her fingers into 
my hair.

"I don't know if I can."

I teased the tip of my tongue in the hollow of her 
throat, her fingers closing tighter in my hair as I 
lifted away enough that I could kiss along her 
shoulders, my eyes turned to watch her face.

"Even if I bring you right to the edge over and over 
again until you do want to?"

Her moan that time was even longer, and she lifted 
her head to look at me, a pleading look on her face.

"Do you have any idea how long that's going to take? 
I hurt so much."

I kissed her gently, pushing her head back to rest on 
the floor as I pulled slowly out of her and then 
pressed back in with the same speed. She shivered as 
I pushed into her, letting out a shaky breath and 
shaking her head.

"I can't. Even that was almost too much right now. 
I'm sorry." She kissed me lightly. "I want you in me, 
though. I just can't handle any more orgasms yet. 
Mentally, the idea is getting me going full rev, but 
physically I can't. Just be slow. I want to feel you 
in me and I want to feel you cum. I don't care how 
long it takes, just don't make me cum any more right 
now. And besides..." She bit my lip and moved her 
hands back to my head, pushing me against her mouth 
for a deep kiss. "It's only fair I get to feel you 
after you got to feel almost all of my over nine 
thousand."

"I came in you every time. I'd say that's fair."

"And you only came like ten times, and I came 
something like twenty or thirty for each of yours."

"I think it's closer to forty or fifty. I counted 
forty-two for that last bit, and that was only half 
an hour." I kissed the corners of her mouth. "Are you 
saying you want me to return some of those orgasms I 
gave you? I could probably find a way to do that."

She laughed and bit my lip, tightening her legs 
around my waist and adjusting her hips so she could 
get me as fully in her as possible, then squeezed me. 
I flexed when she did, making her gasp and tighten 
some more, shivering.

"I have a no return policy. Not going to happen." She 
pulled me down to put her mouth at my ear, whispering 
to me. "You might get what you want after all, 
though. My pussy is really, really liking having you 
in me for so long and it's starting to get close to 
cumming again. You doing that just now made me 
notice."

I turned her head to the side and kissed just below 
her ear.

"Does this mean I get to make you cum again?"

She shivered again as I flexed in her, her pussy 
clenching on me some more and slowly letting go, and 
she let out a long breath.

"No..." she breathed, grabbing my hair and pulling me 
away so she could look at me straight on. "I won't 
stop you, because it's something you want to do with 
me, not to me, but please, Mike. No more orgasms for 
me. I'm not kidding when I say I hurt. It's almost 
too much to handle after everything we've done the 
last few hours, and I can handle a lot. You've seen 
that since we started last night, and you've been 
fucking stellar on listening and paying attention. 
Just no more orgasms. Please.

"I let you have that control last night because I 
needed to and I trust you enough to give it to you, 
but it's a give and take, and I only let others have 
that control for so long. I'm not like Sara and 
willing to give that control over completely. It's 
hurt me too much."

I nodded and brushed the backs of my fingers over her 
cheek, shifting my knees under me.

"I'm not going to hurt you like that. Not knowingly."

"I know you won't, and that's why I let you take 
control last night, but I can't let others have 
control of me anymore if they're not with me. It's a 
mental thing, and I start doing stupid things if I 
have that switch flipped anywhere and the other 
person isn't around. I need my control. I can't give 
it to anyone else and stay sane and stable."

"Are you going to be able to hold it if I don't stop 
when you're on the edge? If you're close already and 
we haven't even really started..."

"Yes," she answered without hesitation. "I've held 
back for almost fifteen minutes before when I was 
badly needing to cum, but I'm so sated right now I 
think I could hold longer if I needed to. It will 
depend on where my pain line is, because holding that 
long hurts, too. If I feel like it would be less 
painful to cum than to hold, I'll cum for you, but 
not otherwise." She kissed my eyes and forehead, then 
held me in place against her forehead. "Please don't 
take that as permission to hold off until I have cum, 
though. I don't allow loopholes like that."

"There's one thing you need to remember."

She hummed and raised her eyebrows at me, 
questioning.

"You've cum ten times and cumming again will take a 
while," she said, kissing the tip of my nose. "I 
know. Every guy is like that. I still have tricks I 
haven't used on you yet, so don't worry about it. I 
can get you off again in sixty seconds if I really 
wanted to, but I don't. I want to make this last. 
I'll let you know if I can't handle more and have you 
stop, even if I am holding back an orgasm. And 
sometimes-" she tilted my head and leaned up to kiss 
my eyes like I'd been doing with her "-I enjoy 
holding back more than I enjoy cumming. Not often, 
but sometimes. If I do cum, it will be my decision."

"I can do that."

"No. You can do me." She smiled and kissed the 
corners of my mouth. "I want you doing me right now, 
not doing that."

I laughed and pushed her back down, following and 
capturing her in a kiss as I flexed inside her some 
more, a slow, steady rhythm, and I did that until she 
was shaking against me, waiting until I knew she was 
holding back. I broke the kiss and touched my nose to 
hers, her hands sliding down to the back of my 
shoulders.

"Ready?" I asked, whispering against her lips.

She hummed a yes and nipped at my lip, rocking her 
hips back as I pulled slowly out of her and then held 
for a few seconds. She was holding her breath, her 
eyes closed, waiting, riding her passion, and then I 
was back in her, a fast, deep thrust that made her 
gasp loudly and her eyes fly open, her nails digging 
into my skin as she winced.

"Slow..." she grunted, breathing sharply and holding 
her legs tight around my waist. "I said slow. Go 
slow. I can make you cum if you're slow, so don't go 
fast like that. It hurts. And don't apologize," she 
added before I could say anything. "Just kiss me and 
go slow. One last test of my endurance before you 
need to go back to Sara and Kim, ok? Since you enjoy 
teasing so much."

I didn't say anything, just smiled and moved back to 
her mouth, letting my fingers run over her face while 
we kissed and rocked gently into each other, a slow, 
wetly delicious non-friction between us. How long we 
went on like that I don't know, alternating between 
slow, tender grinding and then waiting for near 
orgasmic tensions to fade, but the sun had climbed 
above the patio door by the time we both could no 
longer hold back. I gradually sped up and she 
tightened down on me every time I increased the pace, 
a soaking, hot squeeze that was both holding back her 
own orgasm and building mine, which only made me go 
faster.

She started gasping out curses interspersed with a 
rare, half-hearted "Slow!" when I broke the kiss and 
shifted my weight to my elbows, hovering over her 
while she wrestled against me, matching my speed with 
her own passion. I held as long as I could, finally 
slamming deep into her as I came, grunting and 
clutching at her shoulders to hold her in place 
beneath me. She gave up her own fight against 
cumming, her pussy pulsing in a hard, painful rhythm 
on my cock as her head fell back and her body shook, 
her nails putting another set of fresh holes in my 
back.



Chapter 14

She shivered and whimpered with every aftershock of 
her orgasm, her breath catching as she settled back. 
It took a few minutes for both of us to calm down, 
and I kissed at her neck as we did.

"Still afraid?" I asked quietly, head resting on her 
shoulder while I looked at her. Her eyes were closed 
while she focused on getting her breathing under 
control again, and her winces every time anything 
from her stomach down moved unexpectedly made me hurt 
with the realization of just how in pain she was.

"Some," she admitted after a minute, her voice soft, 
shaking shook her head. "And still confused, too, but 
it's not anything we can solve right now. Just being 
here together is enough for now." She lolled her head 
to the side to face me, opening her eyes slowly and 
blinking at me. "Is it ok to say I don't want you to 
go yet?"

"You'd have to convince Sara and Kim." I brushed her 
hair back from where it was matted to her cheek with 
sweat. "Or we could all just move in with you."

She was silent to that, pursing her lips and turning 
away after a few seconds, laying a finger over my 
lips to indicate silence while she thought, staring 
at the ceiling.

"With how I'm-" she started after some minutes, her 
voice cracking. She winced and swallowed to wet her 
throat before trying again. "With how I'm feeling 
right now, I think I could die happy if that 
happened, but I can't do things anymore because of 
how I'm feeling in the moment. I have to be honest 
and say it can't. Later, maybe, much later, but not 
right now. I'm not stable enough, and haven't figured 
myself out enough." She rolled her head back to look 
at me again. "Can you see that? Why I can't say yes 
to that, as badly as I want for it to happen? To have 
everyone I-"

She caught herself and stopped, and I could see 
'love' literally on the tip of her tongue as she 
closed her mouth and shook her head, turning away 
again with an unsteady sigh. I pressed my hand 
against her cheek to tilt her back to me, but she 
didn't move, just taking my hand in hers and clasping 
hard.

"I'm not going to push for anything you're not 
willing to give."

Her eyes squeezed shut and she pursed her lips 
together, moving her arms and wrapping them around me 
as she clung to me, burying her face against my neck 
and shaking with the effort of holding herself 
together.

"That's what I'm afraid of, too," she whispered after 
a while. "That you will push and I won't be able to 
say no because of how I feel right now. I don't know 
how much of myself I can give without losing myself 
again and... and falling all the way down again. I 
can't fall like that again. I can't. It will kill me 
if I do. I fucking know it will, and that's why I 
cling so hard to the good things I have, because I 
can't lose that anymore, can't lose them. I'm not 
strong enough to handle it. I'm not."

"You only need to give what you're able to handle 
giving."

"But I don't know where that point is, Mike!" She 
released her arms from around me and pushed me up 
onto my elbows, gripping my face between her hands 
and giving me an earnest, almost pleading look 
through her tears. "I don't. I don't know where my 
limits are anymore. This is all so fucking new for 
me. I've never had this before, not anything like I 
have with you and Sara and Kim. Except for Aaron and 
my sister, and they're not like what I have with you 
three. I don't understand what's going on between us 
or what it means."

"We're learning how to love each other, way I see 
it." I wiped my thumbs across her eyes to brush away 
her tears, then leaned down and kissed away the 
remnants. "If you can't handle it, just talk with us. 
We see you're a good person behind all the mood 
swings and the angry, and you're that good person 
more than you are anything that might make us want to 
lose you. We're fumbling around just as much as you 
are, even if it doesn't seem like we are, but we can 
learn from each other, can't we?"

She closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath, 
letting it out in a long sigh.

"How can you be so god damn grown up already?"

"Learning from you helps."

She snorted and opened her eyes again, giving me a 
weak glare.

"I'm not able to teach you a fucking thing about 
being grown up. I'm so fucked up I tried to kill 
myself by walking into traffic, for fucks sake. I 
can't teach you a fucking thing."

I placed a finger lightly over her lips to keep her 
from saying more and just looked at her, waiting for 
her to settle.

"What have we been doing since we met if not learning 
how to grow up? What did we just spend the last... I 
don't know how many hours doing if it wasn't you 
teaching me?"

"But it's not the same. I don't know how to do it 
myself."

I shook my head and she furrowed her brow at me, 
brief anger that was quickly checked.

"Yes you do. You've been doing it since you realized 
you needed to change your life and be a better 
person, and you can't do that if you don't learn, can 
you?"

"Lawyer," she muttered after a few minutes, giving me 
a fake angry look. "You're a fucking lawyer is what 
you are. You and Sara and Kim are the best things my 
impulsiveness has ever gotten me into. You know 
that?"

She winced deeply when she unwrapped her legs from 
around my waist, cursing and swearing as the stiff, 
angry pain and soreness from the night before woke 
up. Once she had her feet flat on the ground she 
froze, breathing deeply and evenly through clenched 
teeth until the worst of her pain had subsided.

"Off, please," she hissed through her teeth, giving 
me a gentle shove. "Don't worry about pulling out. 
Just... off. I'm going to need your help moving and 
walking and cleaning up and dressing. And probably 
breathing, later. Oh, this fucking hurts. Ow ow ow ow 
ow ow."

I did as instructed, and it took us an hour and a 
half to get up, to the shower, cleaned, and dressed, 
though she stayed naked. She had a new map of marks 
and bruises to go with the scars she already had. 
Once I had her in bed, I lay with her and ran my 
fingers over her body, tracing her numerous scars and 
fresh injuries.

"You're going to be ok until Aaron gets home?" I 
asked, running my fingers lightly along her arms.

"I'm probably going to sleep until he gets back 
tomorrow," she said, watching my hands drowsily. "I'm 
not sure what he's going to think about this. I've 
never not waited for him to get home before indulging 
like we did last night."

"I hope you're not saying we shouldn't have done it." 
I peered at her like Kim liked to do with me. "I may 
have to tie you up and give you a few more orgasms if 
you are."

Her hands immediately went to cover her pussy and she 
shook her head in vehement denial.

"Oh no no no no no no no no no! No! Fuck no! Fuck you 
for even thinking that! I won't be able to cum again 
for a good two or three days, and it will be a week 
before I'm able to play again, so don't you even 
fucking dare try." She glared and poked me. "And no, 
I don't regret having you over. I wouldn't change 
anything about the last day except having to work."

I pulled her hand away from her pussy and brought it 
up to kiss her fingers.

"I wouldn't either, truth be told."

She took my hand with the one I was holding and 
pulled me closer so I was lying next to her, draping 
her legs over me and laying her head against my chest 
to listen to my heart.

"Lie with me until I'm asleep," she ordered, stroking 
her fingers through my hair and kissing me. "You can 
go once I'm asleep, but I want you here until I do."

"I may fall asleep with you, just to warn you." Which 
was true. The last twenty-four hours had been as 
exhausting as the week that went before.

She smiled and rolled over slowly so she was on her 
side facing me, her head resting on her arm as she 
tugged at my clothes.

"I like that idea better than mine, but you'll need 
to lose your clothes. No one's allowed to wear 
clothes in my bed."

"Is that so?" I laughed, trying to stop her hand from 
lifting my shirt.

"Yep, and right now you're in clear violation of the 
rules. Your punishment is a blowjob."

I feigned horror as I undressed and rejoined her on 
the bed.



Chapter 15

"Why'd you tell me what Jen told you?" she asked 
after about half an hour, not quite as asleep as I'd 
thought she was. We were spooned together, my arm 
around her and hand holding one of her breasts, my 
other arm under her head.

"I thought you needed to know," I said simply, 
breathing against the back of her neck. "She wants me 
to tell the people she's hurt because of her 
mistakes. I don't know if it will help, but at least 
if you understand where she's coming from, she won't 
feel as bad if you still hate her for it."

"I don't hate her," she said after a few minutes, 
then hissed in a breath and groaned as she rearranged 
herself to roll over to face me. She held my hand on 
her breast the whole time, and I squeezed when she'd 
stopped moving. "I stopped hating people when I was 
in physio. It's a waste of energy to hate people, and 
I didn't have any energy to waste. So no, I don't 
hate her. I think she's..."

"An idiot? I know."

"No, not an idiot. I think she's way out of her 
depth. She wasn't ready to grow up, especially like 
that. She has no idea what to do or how to handle it, 
and she has no one she can go to for advice, because 
all she has is people with even less experience than 
her. So she fucked it up, and I can't fault her for 
that. I'm not any more fond of her for it, but I 
understand what happened and why."

"That sounds suspiciously like forgiveness."

"Hardly. She's hurt a lot of people, ones I care 
about, and if she can't make amends for it, I'm not 
interested in her. Understanding isn't the same as 
forgiveness. Never has been. It helps that she's 
trying, especially with wanting to make amends with 
Kim, but it's all uphill for her, even with you 
helping her."

"I can only help her so much. I did tell her that, 
and she understands it's on her to do the heavy 
lifting."

"That's good. There's hope for her yet, then."

She nodded and moved one hand up to run her fingers 
through my hair, and we looked at each other, silent 
for a time.

"It took me a long time to learn it's not always good 
for me to speak my mind," she said, voice soft. 
"Mostly because it took me a long time to learn I'm 
not right very often."

"What are you thinking? You let me talk. You don't 
need to be afraid of talking with me when it's your 
turn to speak."

She pursed her lips and dropped her eyes from mine, 
shaking her head.

"My history of reading people is a long trail of 
failure."

"Except you just nailed Jen spot on."

"Only because I've been through exactly the same 
thing. My parents never outright said they've 
dispossessed me, but it's what they've done. I know 
what it's like, so I know what she's going through. 
She'll make it through just fine, though. She'll be 
scarred and it will haunt her the rest of her life, 
but she'll be fine. It's not going to break her. She 
has people looking out for her to make sure that 
doesn't happen, but I never did. But that's not what 
I was thinking."

"What's on your mind, then? Talk with me."

"You talk about her the same way you talk about Sara, 
except you have this... regret, like she got away."

"That's half right," I said after a minute of 
thought, "if that helps your track record any. We 
fooled around with each other a few years ago, but we 
were stupid. My mom caught us and that ended it. Once 
in a while we do have moments, but experience has 
kind of... I don't know. I guess we don't see it as 
being able to work, and with what's happened with her 
over the last year, she feels getting involved with 
anyone is just a bad idea."

"Good. She's not stupid. That will help her."

I hummed a query, trailing my fingers lightly along 
her side and hip.

"She's smart for not wanting to get involved with 
anyone right now. That would make it harder for her 
if she did."

"This is sounding like you're starting to like her, 
despite her fucking up."

She huffed and rolled onto her back, directing my 
hand between her legs, and I ran my fingers along her 
slit, barely touching her skin.

"It's sounding like I might be willing to give her 
another chance, depending on how she handles patching 
things up with Sara and Kim. She has a long fucking 
way to go before I can say I like her. For all the 
abuse I've gotten from men, the worst moments in my 
life have been because of women, so it's not easy for 
me to like them, even when I have people I trust 
vouching for them."

"I haven't asked for anything more than that, giving 
her another chance."

She turned to me and grabbed my face with her hands, 
pulling me in for a kiss.

"No, but it's what you've been expecting. Are you 
going to take me or are you going to keep teasing 
me?"

I rolled toward her, focusing my fingers more tightly 
on her clit and propping myself up on my elbow to 
look down at her, smiling.

"I thought you said you were done?"

"I thought I was, too, but pussy's saying otherwise." 
She closed her eyes and moaned softly when I slid a 
pair of fingers into her, squeezing as I filled her. 
"That's better, but I like your cock more."

"Ten orgasms before I take you properly?"

"You're ambitious, aren't you?"

I laughed and she opened her eyes to look at me, 
half-lidded while she rode her rising orgasm.

"Is that a complaint?"

"Anything but a complaint, but ten is going to really 
push my limit, maybe even past. This one's already 
going to hurt like a bastard, but I need it. Do what 
you need to give me ten, lover. I won't stop you."

"Anything I need?"

She muttered a yes, arching and tensing as her orgasm 
built toward release, and I pulled my fingers out, 
leaving her right on the edge and swearing, clutching 
at the blankets and struggling to keep her legs open. 
I kissed one of her nipples and rolled off the bed to 
head into the kitchen for a bowl of ice, wasting no 
time in shoving one into her when I returned. She 
gasped and purred, rocking with my fingers and 
breaking into orgasm in a matter of seconds, wincing 
with every contraction.

"Fuck that hurts," she said, voice tight and shaking, 
and she looked at me as she pulled her legs up to her 
chest. "Ice helps, though. Don't stop."

I was already moving to suck her clit when she lifted 
her legs, and I fingered her and filled her with ice. 
I'd brought ten ice cubes, one for each orgasm, and 
succeeded in getting all of them into her, but she 
was quivering and whimpering by the last. I kissed up 
her stomach and chest to see tears streaming from her 
eyes, and I frowned, brushing them away.

"Don't say sorry," she said before I could, shaking 
her head but keeping her eyes closed. "I need this 
pain. I know you know how to warm up a pussy full of 
ice, so fuck me." She opened her eyes then and took 
my face in her hands, pulling me down to bite my lip. 
"Don't make it fast. Force as many orgasms out of me 
as you can before you need to cum. I will cry during 
this because I won't hold any of my orgasms and 
they're going to hurt, a lot, but I am ok. This will 
be my closure for giving you my control."

"You're sure about this?"

"Just fuck me and mean it. I'll be ok."

"Give me your hands, then. I don't need more holes in 
my back."

She laughed and smiled, giving me another kiss before 
dropping her hands down and wrapping her legs around 
my waist. I slid into her, the cold from the ice 
making for a very different feel than her usual heat, 
and began fucking her, alternately fast and slow, 
depending on how close I was to my own orgasm. I 
stopped and held in her for each of hers, cresting 
every minute or two, and I counted eighteen orgasms 
before her dry gasps became too much for me to keep 
going.

"So you're going to stop at my age and not let me 
feel you cum?" she said when she could  talk again. 
"Not even one more for luck?"

"I can't keep going with you crying. It's too hard."

"I'm ok, Mike. Honest. I need to feel you cum in me 
one more time today. Please. This is what I need 
right now."

I shook my head and gave her a slow kiss, brushing my 
fingers against her cheeks.

"I can't. I can handle you crying in short bursts 
during play. You've done it often enough the last few 
hours, but I can't handle this. This tells me it's 
too much and you're pushing into pain because you 
can't handle how you're feeling."

She was quiet, giving me a somber look, then reached 
up and pulled me down to her, wrapping her arms 
around my neck to hold me. I kissed at her neck and 
waited.

"Thank you," she said after a few minutes, and I 
pushed up to look at her. "For being honest, and 
caring. I didn't realize I was being that selfish, 
and I'm sorry. I pushed you past a limit, and you're 
right about why."

"You didn't know it was a limit for me. Neither did 
I, honestly, so that's something we both learned."

"You know fucking your teacher is unethical, right?"

I laughed and she smiled, and I kissed her tear red 
eyes.

"You're a friend first, so I think we avoid that 
trap."

"Good." She craned up and kissed me, bit at my lip. 
"If I can't feel you cum in my pussy, are you ok with 
another blowjob?"

"Followed by a nap?"

"You can nap. I'm going to sleep like the dead until 
Aaron gets home tomorrow morning."

"In that case, take as long as you need." I gave her 
another kiss. "You might even be able to get two."



Chapter 16

She purred and shoved me away, muttering curses, her 
body protesting moving while we rearranged and she 
settled between my legs. She smiled at my still wet 
cock, massaging it with her fingers until I was hard 
again, then leaned down and took me into her mouth. 
She was in no rush to make me cum, stopping every 
time I got close and holding just my head between her 
lips, waiting for my cock to stop twitching before 
taking me down her throat again. After maybe five or 
six times of her stopping, I reached for her hair and 
she batted my hands away, narrowing her eyes at me 
and shaking her head but never removing her mouth 
from my cock. Twice more and she locked her fingers 
through mine to keep control of my hands.

"This is edging, lover," she said, kissing my 
throbbing cock and smiling when I laughed. "You need 
to be able to handle what you give out, so just 
enjoy. And you did just tell me to take as long as I 
need. I'll let you cum when I'm ready."

"And when will that be? With as many orgasms as I've 
had with you since last night, what you're doing now 
is starting to hurt."

"I know, lover. Enjoy. It will be worth the orgasm at 
the end. Trust me."

She took me back into her mouth and started bobbing, 
deep throating me fast maybe a dozen times, and then 
released me from her mouth when I started tensing 
again toward orgasm. I swore and my cock throbbed and 
twitched, and she breathed on it lightly, the flow of 
her breath making it tense anew. It was the closest 
I'd ever been to orgasm without the stimulation to 
achieve it, my cock so hard it hurt, and I tried to 
get my hands free of hers, but she had a better grip 
than I'd expected. I felt a drop of precum touch my 
stomach as my cock started to soften, and then I was 
back in her mouth, but only the head, her tongue 
doing I have no idea what, but I was over the edge in 
seconds. She took about half my length into her mouth 
when I arched up, biting lightly with each painful 
spasm, my cum hitting the back of her throat and 
getting a contented purr out of her with each shot. 
She kept sucking for another minute, managing to keep 
me hard.

"I don't think you can handle two like that," she 
smirked, her smile and kisses to my cock belying her 
tone. "Do you still want me to?"

"That depends. Are you going to do that again?"

She hummed at my wry smile, sucking me into her 
throat a few times before saying anything.

"If I had any energy left, I'd tie you to the 
headboard and show you what real denial is. I don't 
think I could do another round of edging you like 
that right now, either, so I'll just suck you off one 
more time, with one condition."

"What's that?"

"Give me one last orgasm while you kiss me with your 
cum in my mouth."

"Are you going to cry like you were?"

"I'll try not to. I just need my control back, and I 
feel like there's just a little bit left."

"Then get sucking, woman."

She laughed and flicked a finger against the head of 
my cock, smirking, before swallowing my length again. 
She didn't waste any effort this time, using every 
trick with her tongue, throat, teeth, and hands she 
could think of to get me off, and I came after two or 
three minutes. She hummed happily when I did, waiting 
until I'd stopped spasming to work her thumb from the 
base of my cock to the tip, squeezing out as much of 
my cum as she could before drifting up my body.

I rolled her onto her back and she opened her mouth 
to display my cum pooled on her tongue. I hesitated 
for only a second before closing my mouth over hers, 
hand running down her stomach to her pussy to slide a 
pair of fingers into her. She whimpered at the 
invasion and I waited, battling tongues with her and 
swirling the salty tang of my cum between us, and 
then I started fingering her, working her clit with 
my thumb. She clutched at me, her fingers digging 
into my skin and her whimpering into my mouth, and I 
did everything I could to build her orgasm and bring 
her over. She broke the kiss and swore when she came, 
eyes squeezed shut and biting at my shoulder while 
she clung to me, her whole body twitching. I pulled 
my fingers from her still spasming pussy and put my 
arm around her, holding her close and stroking her 
hair, waiting for her to collect herself and calm 
down.

She drew in a long, deep breath after a minute and 
let it out slowly, relaxing into me.

"Thank you," she said, taking hold of my hand and 
sucking my fingers clean, looking content despite her 
occasional winces as her pussy tightened with 
aftershocks. "I wasn't sure yesterday if letting you 
in would be a good idea."

"I'm guessing this means I passed."

"You'd have been kicked out and sent home hours ago 
if you weren't, lover. Thank you for coming to see 
me, and for spending the night with me, and for 
everything else."

"That goes both ways." I brushed stray hairs back 
behind her ear. "This means your funk's been beaten 
into submission for a while."

She nodded some and gave a small smile, said, "For a 
little while. I know it will be back. I just don't 
know when."

"Let me know when that happens and I'll do my best to 
make time for you."

She shook her and wrapped herself closer against me, 
resting her head on my chest.

"If I need you when it happens, I'll let you know. 
This time was a test. I don't want to seem like I 
don't appreciate everything, but there's still a lot 
of me that doesn't trust you enough yet. What we did 
last night, and how well it all went, that all 
helped, more than you might think, and you have 
managed to get inside my defense zone, but you 
haven't gotten in far enough yet I'm ok going to you 
when I need help. I..."

She dug her nails lightly into my chest as she 
changed her position so she could look up at me.

"Are you ok with all this back and forth from me? I 
feel like I'm always either fuck off or come fuck me, 
and I don't like it, but I can't control it, either. 
Something in my head is broken and I don't know how 
to fix the fucking thing. I don't know if it even 
fucking can be."

"You do have your moments," I said, huffing a brief 
laugh and taking one of her hands in mine. "You are 
hard to deal with sometimes, I'm pretty sure we can 
agree on that." She nodded and squeezed my hand, 
waiting for me to complete my thought. "I like to 
think we're good for each other, all of us, that 
we're able to learn from each other and compensate 
for each other's faults, because we see the worth in 
each other, even if we don't always see it in 
ourselves. I don't know. However hard we are on each 
other, the point is we still care about each other, 
yes?"

"I think you're talking out your ass with that bit of 
sentiment. You don't actually know what you feel or 
think about me, do you? You worry about me and I 
scare you with my moods, but you're afraid telling me 
that would set me off."

I considered for a minute, and she shifted, laying on 
her side but still resting on my chest.  I raised a 
hand to run my fingers through her hair.

"That's all true, but I don't think it's so much you 
scare me as I don't know how to understand you."

"Hardest fucking thing I've ever tried to do, 
understanding me. I don't expect you to if I have a 
hard time with it. I have a hard time with all of 
that, if I'm being honest. Maybe I'm projecting. I do 
that a lot, too. You're putting me to sleep doing 
that. You need to stop."

I did and she hissed and moaned and swore as she 
moved, lying on her back beside me. I untangled one 
of the blankets and dragged it over us, cuddling up 
next to her. She took my hand and set it on one of 
her breasts, and she purred when I squeezed. Our 
conversation had fizzled out, exhaustion creeping 
through us, and we drifted.

"Can I ask you to do something, lover?" she asked 
after a few minutes, sounding more awake than I was, 
and I hummed. "I'm not asking because I want to hurt 
you. It's for my sake. Safety."

"What do you need?"

"Go home when you wake up. Don't leave me notes or 
anything. I'll be dead until at least dawn, but if 
you're still here when that happens, I'm going to 
spiral and be worse than when you picked me up last 
night. I do the same thing to Aaron, so I'm not 
asking because it's you. I need the alone time to 
process and internalize."

I hummed again and mumbled some sort of affirmative, 
and she squeezed my hand on her breast.

"Thank you."



Chapter 17

For as exhausted as I was I'd expected to sleep 
longer, but I was awake again shortly after seven, 
bladder painfully full and stomach complaining about 
needing a serious feeding. I rolled over and 
stretched, joints popping and muscles protesting, and 
discovered Cindy wasn't in bed with me. I groaned 
sitting up, looking around the room for her, but she 
was absent. Certainly not what I'd expected, and I 
made my way to the guest room, didn't find her there, 
and then the living room, where she was curled tight 
on the couch under a heavy comforter, her breathing 
slow and even and obviously dead to the world. I let 
out a heavy breath, relieved she hadn't gone and done 
something horrible.

"Why didn't you sleep with me, silly woman?" I 
whispered, smoothing my fingers over her hair and 
kissing her forehead.

She didn't stir, and I studied her a minute longer 
before I couldn't ignore my bladder any longer. I 
dressed and gathered my things, then checked in on 
Cindy again, but she hadn't stirred, still a closed 
ball in her blanket. As confident as I could be she 
would be alright, I let myself out, making sure the 
door was locked behind me, and called home to let 
them know I was still alive and would eventually be 
back, then called Sara.

"Tell me you haven't eaten yet, love," I said, half 
expecting the growling of my stomach could be heard 
through the phone.

"I can't," she said, sounding disappointed. "We just 
finished dinner maybe fifteen minutes ago. You sound 
like you're half asleep. What happened?"

"What hasn't? Fuck. It's been a long weekend." I gave 
her the overview.

"Oh gods. That sounds both awesome and terrible." She 
laughed. "So you want to get together tonight and 
give us the full story?"

"It's a thought, but I don't know if I'm up for it. 
I'm discombobulated."

She laughed again, and I heard her drop onto the 
couch, Kim's voice in the background.

"Discombobulated? That's a new one for you."

"What about enervate, then? Does that sound better? 
I'm seriously drained right now and could use some 
calm company. If you two are-"

"I am so totally not calm company, Mr. Man," Kim 
said, Sara obviously sharing the phone with her. "But 
I want to see you, toooooooooooo. Can we get, like, 
milkshakes or something? Pretty please, with cherries 
and rainbows and stuff?"

"You want a rainbow milkshake?"

"Can I!? That would be so awesome!"

"I'll think about it. Go easy on my wallet right now, 
though. We still have plans for next weekend, 
remember?"

A weekend that seemed an eternity away, given how 
long the last few weeks had been. I wasn't sure I'd 
have any energy left by the time it arrived if things 
kept up like they were.

"Phooey. Fine. Can we see Cindy?"

"She's very dead to the world right now, thanks to 
me, so that wouldn't work. Probably best to wait a 
few days, anyway. I'll tell you about it when we get 
together, if you two are up for an hour or two out 
tonight."

"Anything fancy or just out to talk?" Sara asked, 
muffling Kim.

"I haven't eaten since something like four in the 
morning, so I need food. Other than that, I didn't 
have anything in mind other than time together."

"Alright. We'll be ready when you get here. See you 
then."

Kim's clamoring for more talk time was cut short as 
Sara hung up, and I put my phone away and rubbed my 
eyes in a futile attempt to wake up some more. Back 
roads it would have to be until I had food and 
caffeine, and that added a few minutes to the trip. I 
tapped out six pence on my horn when I got to their 
place, and Kim bounded out the door a few seconds 
later, Sara following. She'd braided her hair into a 
circlet and was wearing the skirt that had been the 
catalyst for us getting together. I smiled and leaned 
over when she climbed in beside me to give her a 
kiss.

"You are beautiful as ever," I said, which always got 
a smile and a blush. "Do you think you can convince 
your parents to let you stay with me tonight? I need 
your center."

"I'll see what I can do, but I can't guarantee."

We kissed again and she climbed out. Kim made an 
exaggerated show of zipping her lips to indicate she 
was going to keep a check on her exuberance.

"You can talk, you know," I said, turning to face 
her.

"I know! I think you kinda want me to keep it toned 
down right now, though, right? I have a billion 
questions and stuff for you, but I don't want to 
exhaust you. Sara told me what you told her, so right 
now I just kinda want to give you a super hug until 
you're feeling better, see?"

I laughed. There wasn't anything else I could do, and 
I grabbed her pants and tugged with a, "Come here." 
She bounced forward and we wrapped arms around each 
other, awkward and uncomfortable with me turned 
around my seat like I was.

"Thank you for that," I said, releasing her and 
falling back into my seat.

"I have infinite hugs, just so you know."

She nodded vigorously and grinned, and we waited for 
Sara, who was out a minute later, carrying her school 
bag and wearing a change of clothes.

"Glad to see that worked out," I said when she 
climbed back in, leaning over to kiss her again.

There were a few local restaurants that made real 
burgers and I took us by one of them, with the added 
bonus they used real ice cream for their milkshakes. 
Sara spooned hers while Kim made a valiant effort to 
suck hers through what was obviously a coffee straw, 
and I told them about my night with Cindy while I 
waited for my food. Trying to tell them everything 
Jen had said when my brain was running on empty would 
have made for a lot of backtracking and over 
explanation, so I saved it.

"I'd been wondering if that's what Cindy was fighting 
herself about," Sara said, contemplating an oversize 
spoonful of her shake, then eyeing Kim's. She held 
out her spoon to Kim, who mouthed it clean, and 
dipped out a spoonful of hers in trade.

"Can we say we love her now?" Kim said, sneaking a 
hand toward Sara's cup. "Yes? Say yes, 'cause I 
will."

Sara took Kim's hand and turned it over, then closed 
it on one of Kim's breasts. Kim stuck her tongue out 
at her and went back to using her coffee straw as a 
spoon.

"I think it would be better to wait until this mess 
with Jen has mostly been worked out," I said, looking 
toward the kitchen to see my food being carried out. 
I waited until it was in front of me before 
continuing my thought, talking around a mouthful of 
fries because I was too hungry to care. "I caught her 
when she was letting herself be vulnerable and she 
still wasn't ready to admit how she feels. I don't 
know how she'd react if we push her on it."

"But-"

"Kim," Sara said, firm enough Kim deflated without 
further argument. "We all know you want to, and we 
do, too, but we know pushing Cindy doesn't work very 
well if she's not ready for it. I don't think now 
would be a good time, either, so please wait. We'll 
get there with her eventually. Just not right now."

Kim just nodded, giving up on her coffee straw 
technique in favor of a bigger straw.

"You said Jen said stuff to tell us because she's 
feeling dumb," she said to me after sucking down a 
quarter of her shake.

"She had a lot to say, yes, though I don't think dumb 
is really the word for how she's feeling. Cindy had 
some insights that I think might help, too. I need to 
eat before I can think enough to tell you about all 
of it, though."

They were silent while I ate, and was feeling fueled 
enough by the time I finished most of my burger to 
start telling them everything Jen had said. Kim was 
less inquisitive than Sara was, which I'd expected, 
though Sara didn't draw out any epiphanies Cindy and 
I hadn't already realized.

"Why is she so worried about how I feel now?" Kim 
said, stabbing her straw at her shake. "It's not like 
she did before."

"Sometimes you need to really fuck up to understand 
what you're doing to other people," I said, 
shrugging. "I'm not really sure, and she didn't say 
why. It might be because you're the most stubborn, so 
you're going to hold out longer on her trying to make 
amends and apologize. She doesn't hate you, Kim, 
never has, but she will understand if you don't want 
anything to do with her because of how she's treated 
you and what she's done."

"Maybe that's another thing she needs to grow up 
about, like Cindy was saying, learning how to not 
piss people off just because she thinks it would be 
funny. Because it's not. Cindy pissed me off, but it 
wasn't because she wanted to. You have too, but you 
didn't want to. So has Sara. Cindy still pisses me 
off sometimes, but that's just how she is. She 
doesn't want to but she does, because she's not able 
to control what comes out all the time, but Jen did 
want to, and that's why I don't like her. What she 
did to Sara and me is the same thing. Until she grows 
up and can say sorry for that, and actually mean it, 
and she can prove it, she's not making up to me. She 
wants to be friends with everyone, but she can't if 
she doesn't actually respect anyone."

She leaned over and dug around in her purse, slapped 
a pair of pennies on the table and slid them across 
to me. She flopped back against the seat, holding her 
half-full milk shake and sucking on it.

"You want me to tell her that?" I asked when it 
became clear she wasn't going to say more.

She shrugged and peered into her almost empty cup, 
slurped up the last bit of her shake before looking 
at me.

"If you want to. I don't think it will fix anything. 
It's not like she's going to change overnight. Nobody 
does."

"No, but they can start changing overnight."

"Stop trying to convince me, Mr. Man. You're not the 
one who needs to, and by the time she does, it won't 
matter. I know she's your friend, and she means a lot 
to you, and all that happy sappy stuff, and I know 
you want everyone you care about to get along, but 
that isn't going to happen. I don't like how she 
treats me, and I don't need to put up with it. That's 
it."

I nodded and propped my chin in one hand, thinking.

"I guess the only thing I want to know at this point 
is whether you'll give her another chance. It doesn't 
have to be right now, or any time soon."

She opened her mouth and caught herself from an 
immediate, "No." She furrowed her brow at me and 
considered.

"You want me to think about this answer, don't you?"

"Yes. I don't want you to say yes just because that's 
what I'm hoping you'll say. I just want you to think 
about what she said, and everything else. If you 
still don't want to deal with her, then done is done 
and we'll go from there. Can you do that?"

"I'll probably still say no."

"That's fine. As long as you've thought about it and 
it's not just a gut reaction like you were just going 
to give." She stuck her tongue out at me but nodded, 
and I looked to Sara. "What about you, love?"

"I don't know yet. I was getting to like her before 
she screwed up, so I'm more open to her apologizing, 
but Kim has a point. How she's treated her is a real 
sore spot. I think right now I'm going to stay on my 
fence until I can talk with. We're all stressed about 
what happened, but I'd feel bad if I just walked away 
without at least trying. It's been more than a month 
now, so I think we're past being shell shocked and we 
can talk without bungling things too badly by being 
emotional about it."

"Any idea when you'll do that?"

"Maybe lunch tomorrow. I'm not sure yet. I need to 
get a script going in my head first."

She slid the last quarter of her milkshake over to 
Kim, who bounced and squee'd.

"Alright. That's enough for me, then. I don't think 
my brain can handle talking about this anymore, so I 
want to call it a night. I'd invite you over, too, 
Kim, but that would be... problematic."

"It's ok," she said, shaking her head and sucking 
down the remains of Sara's shake. "I have homework to 
finish, and you two need your time." She leaned 
forward and gave me a conspiratorial look, whispering 
loudly. "And Sara told me to tell you she wants to be 
teased."

Sara went red and tried to look innocent, and I 
laughed, taking her hand and kissing it.

"She's in luck," I said to Kim, matching her 
whispering. "Teasing is what I want to do."

"You two are horrible," Sara laughed, squeezing my 
hand and leaning against Kim, smiling. "I'm so glad I 
have you."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
It's okay to *READ* stories about unprotected sex with 
others outside a monogamous relationship. But it isn't 
okay to *HAVE* unprotected sex with people other than a 
trusted partner. 4-million people around the world 
contract HIV every year. You only have one body per 
lifetime, so take good care of it!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Kristen's collection - Directory 41