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                 K R I S T E N' S    C O L L E C T I O N
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Jed's BBQ
by Dave (ufpe@hotmail.com)

***

A couple of good ol' boys encounter Succubi. (MF, 
humor)

***

A quiet day it was for me and the misses was out of 
sorts again, bitchin’ about most and anything that came 
to mind assuming she had one. I done called Bobby Ray 
as the sun was apt to set over the bayou and we jumped 
into the old International for some crawdadin’. 

The skeeters were particularly nasty and the heat was 
sweltering even after the quiet set in, but the two 
sixes kept us buzzin’ while we was swattin’ and diggin’ 
in the muck. It weren’t ‘till we popped open our last 
brews that Bobby seen a light flickering in old Jed’s 
homestead which weren’t that weird except for his 
unfortunate death some months back. 

We just figured it was some old poacher until we seen 
several more glows coming from the all around inside 
the place. Since most poachers done stay kind of hid so 
as not to arouse the local green shirts that be always 
looking for that sort of thing, we done decided to have 
like a sneaky look around. 

We snuck up nice an quiet and peeked through the window 
in back and there were the two most stunning baby 
makers we done ever laid eyes on. They was chantin’ and 
swayin’ and mumblin’ like billy bullfrog in the heat of 
mating season. 

One of the wenches got sort of stiff and stared right 
at where we be crouchin’ an Bobby Ray went white and 
knee knockin’ while I done bolted headlong into the 
stickle berries. My heart was banging so hard I thought 
it would bust but it didn’t.

Next thing I know, this knockout wench was in front of 
where I was laying with eyes that glowed green like 
Aunt Ida’s rotten fried green tomatoes in mustard 
sauce. She had these little horn like things coming out 
of her head and a tail with a little shovel like thing 
at the end. 

She was smilin’ like my old lady when she gets one up 
on me and her ta-ta’s were too good to be true. They 
stuck out straight and firm with the little knobbies 
juttin out like a baby’s dick. She was hot and I was 
sweating like a pig and kinda smelled like one too. 

Then like magic or something, Bobby Ray and I was in 
Jed’s place laying in the middle of a bunch of candles 
in a circle and we was stark naked as jay birds. The 
two wenches were standing over us, gloating and 
salivating like two vultures with these weird glowing 
green eyes. 

Bobby Ray was mumbling all kinds of nonsensical 
gibberish and I could see where he done peed himself 
but I couldn’t move none. I just watched the tail on 
the wench close to me as it twitched back and forth 
like it had a mind of it’s own and wondered why all the 
hair was gone from her snatch. 

She seen me lookin’ at her and stopped mumbling long 
enough to grab my meat and start rubbing it up and down 
in a way that made it load up really fast. She had 
skill with them meat mashers that had these long nails 
that weren’t polished very good. She swung one of her 
endless legs over me and ever so slowly lowered herself 
down, guiding my one-eyed penetrator into her hole 
until it was completely swallowed to the hilt. 

Gawd was she tight and had the moves and muscles to get 
me goin’! She started moanin’ and pantin’ and droolin’ 
like some sort of depraved nympho; clutchin’ and 
tuggin’ at my meat liken to rip it out from its roots. 

It kinda hurt but it done felt real good, so I clenched 
my teeth and let her go to town. Seems like she wasn’t 
all that keen into my feelin’s about the whole thing, 
but most looneys aren’t. 

I glanced over at Bobby Ray, and he was going through 
much the same thing, but he wasn’t too happy. His eyes 
were squished shut and his teeth were clenched like he 
was plugged up with a beer keg. Guess many guys would 
want to be where we were, but now that we were there, 
we didn’t want it no more – if you know what I mean. 

She started hunkerin’ down faster and harder now and I 
could tell she was getting’ ready to do the rod rumba 
by the ways she was panting and snorting. With the way 
my nuts were boiling and getting slammed into the dirt, 
I knew they wouldn’t be holding their load much longer 
neither.

As my bag squeezed the seed from my nuts, I done got 
this weird feeling like something was getting stuck 
down my pee hole and slidin’ down the inside of my 
meat. So far things had gone OK but I weren’t liking 
the feelin’ of something going in where I knows it 
should be coming out. My seed didn’t pay no mind 
though, and just kept on a coming, tearing through my 
pee shooter like a freight train with the throttle 
stuck wide open. 

She shrieked liked my misses when she done bore LeRoy, 
and started shaking and rutting and salivating all over 
the place, while I kept pumping her hole like no 
tomorrow but nothing was coming out! The damn thing 
inside my meat must have been sucking everything out, 
and it kept suckin’ and suckin until I felt my nuts a 
quivering and my strength just done getting sucked 
away.

Again I looked over at Bobby and he was shaking and 
quaking and I knowed that he was getting drained like 
me. I tried to get scared but I was too damn tired and 
kinda like just gave up knowing that I was in some kind 
of cum heaven - worse ways to go, if you know what I 
mean. 

About that time, the beans and cabbage that the misses 
had served up was done fermented and decided to part 
company; so with a thunder roll that burnt like a fresh 
lit ladyfinger, it blowed out my butt and KABLAM – we 
be talking fireworks like Uncle’s gas station when it 
done blowed up last year. I guess there was one of them 
lit candles too close to my butt!
 
I looked up at the nympho wench and she was swatting at 
her flaming hair like she got her head caught in a 
hornets nest. My arms and legs were free, and I throwed 
her off a me and followed Bobby out the door, screaming 
like banshees as we power dove into the swamp. 

Jed’s place was like a roaring BBQ, so we grabbed our 
crawdads and lit out for home never looking back. The 
misses weren’t too happy to see me nekid but I told her 
we ditched our rags on account of all the stinky mud 
and she calmed down and gave me a brew. Guess it went 
OK for Bobby too because he wasn’t sleeping on the 
couch when I staggered out of the rack the next 
morning.

Bobby and me don’t talk about what happened at Jed’s 
place. Methinks the wenches went back from where they 
came. The green shirts did stop by and asked us about 
what happened but we said we don’t know nothing so the 
left. I hear they busted the moon shiners over by the 
old mill the other night. 

It’s a shame because they made some wicked brew and 
never minded giving us a sample when we’d go check them 
out. The misses still bitches a lot but my weed is 
budding now so I don’t really give a rat’s ass anyway. 
She takes good care of little LeRoy and give good head 
whenever she’s feels like it. 

I do think about the green eyed wench ever once in 
awhile. She was like the second best lay I ever had 
outside of my cousin Ginny who done lost her cherry to 
me. Ginny didn’t have horns and a tail that wagged but 
she weren’t very cute, especially with her buck teeth 
gone. 

I’ll tell you about that some other time if you want to 
hear about it – nobody else does. 

END

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
It's okay to *READ* stories about unprotected sex with
others outside a monogamous relationship. But it isn't
okay to *HAVE* unprotected sex with people other than
a trusted partner. You only have one body per lifetime,
so take good care of it!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Kristen's collection - Directory 37