("`-''-/").___..--''"`-._
                     `6_ 6  )   `-.  (     ).`-.__.`)
                     (_Y_.)'  ._   )  `._ `. ``-..-'
                    _..`--'_..-_/ /--'_.' ,'
                   ((('   (((-(((''  ((((
               K R I S T E N' S    C O L L E C T I O N
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		             WARNING!
	      This text file contains sexually explicit
	      material. If you do not wish to read this
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	      PLEASE CLOSE THIS FILE NOW!!!!
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Ardent Bane: Intergalactic Amazon Hunter 
By Rachael Ross (rache18us@yahoo.com) 

***

Hi, I'm Ardent Bane! If you haven't read my previous 25 
installments of Intergalactic Amazon Hunter, don't 
panic! You're in for a real treat! The action is 
relentless and brutal and you can jump right in! All 
you need, gentle viewer, is a little luck, a few good 
weapons, and a whole lotta guts! (M/F, humor, sci-fi, 
no-sex)

***

Let me give you some background about this mission, 
because it's a doozy! This planet we're in orbit around 
is Sappho IV, the 4th planet of the Sappho System, yeah 
that's right. Home of the legendary Monkey Girls. No 
man who has ever and I do mean EVER! set foot on that 
planet has returned to tell his tale. The Monkey Girls 
of Sappho IV are the single greatest threat to mankind 
that we've ever found in our reach to colonize the 
universe. 

Something has to be done and done right. That means 
someone has to go down there and eradicate the dreaded 
Monkey Girls of Sappho IV. Luckily, out of the 
literally millions of volunteers, only I - Ardent Bane! 
- was selected for this monumental undertaking. But I'm 
not going alone, no I'm bringing along my holocam which 
will transmit back to you, my faithful fans, live 
action from start to finish! Commercial free and 
uncensored - The way real men like it!

So lets go!

Hmmmm... Monkey Girls. Want a banana little girl? 
HAHAHA I crack myself up! But in all seriousness I need 
to make sure that everything is prepared. Believe me 
folks, you don't want to leave anything to chance on an 
assignment like this! The Monkey Girls have a techno-
level of Earth about 2000 B.C. ...Stone knives and 
clubs. But don't underestimate those primitive weapons, 
in the hands of a highly trained killer (Like Ardent 
Bane!) a stone knife is every bit as lethal as a 1.5Mw 
Pulse Rifle! 

To keep it fair I'll equip myself with weapons of Earth 
around 1400A.D. Let's see a nice English longbow, a 
long sword of the finest Spanish steel... Oh my, isn't 
that beautiful? Look how the sunlight gleams off the 
metal - Honed to a razor's edge folks! And a carbon-
fiber double-edged dagger, perfectly balanced for 
throwing. My target is a small village on one of the 
numerous small islands; only about 20 inhabitants so 
I'll bring 21 arrows, broad tipped and deadly! Hey - I 
might miss once!

Let me tell you about the Monkey Girls of Sappho IV. 
They are small, humanoid in appearance. About 5 feet 
tall, covered with a silky caramel colored fur from 
their heads, along their spines, to their tight round 
butts. This fur gets shorter as it moves away from 
their heads and ends in a long prehensile tail, hence 
the nickname "Monkey Girls". The hair on their heads is 
long and shimmers beautifully, luxuriant to touch and 
it exudes a smell which is loaded with a chemical 
pheromone which suggests these little beasties are 
constantly in a state of heat. 

The front and sides of their bodies are smooth taut 
flesh, usually a lighter color than their fur. They 
have breasts which range from small and firm to large 
and firm. Saggy breasts have never been reported on a 
Monkey Girl of Sappho IV. They seem to lactate 
continuously and the milk from their breasts is a sweet 
wine-like liquid which is about 30% alcohol by volume. 

The genitalia of the Monkey Girls of Sappho IV are 
lightly furred and very small. The surrounding tissue 
though is loaded with over 10,000 tiny muscles!! which 
enable the Monkey Girls of Sappho IV to accommodate 
virtually any sized male organ with ease. They also 
have a thin membrane, similar to a hymen, which grows 
back over a period of 24 hours if it's broken. Amazing 
huh?

But don't let them fool you, the Monkey Girls of Sappho 
IV really are beauty and the beast! So are you coming 
along? The road to adventure is this way!

We've beamed down to a part of the island which should 
be uninhabited, about 5Km from the village. It's a 
dense jungle here, I hope you guys are getting this at 
home. The trees are ancient and huge, the canopy roof 
is easily a hundred meters above my head. There are a 
lot of smaller plants and flora. It's quite beautiful. 
The air temperature is a steady 72.4 degrees F. and 
relative humidity is 28%. Nice day for a picnic! Well, 
we didn't come for that did we? I'm going to set up a 
camp here, I've brought remote sentries to secure my 
perimeter and we'll get those working first off. 
Remember people, you don't need any surprises on an 
alien and definately hostile planet!

Okay, as you can see I've got my camp set up. I've even 
brought my portable stockade, with any luck I'll be 
able to capture one or two alive and then we can see 
what those 10,000 muscles between their legs are good 
for! heh-heh! As many of the faithful 39 know, I do 
like to have a little fun with my prey. Getting hot and 
bloody gets me excited and I don't mind admitting a 
luke-warm body is every bit as good as a live one! 

It's getting kind of late in the day, so I think we'll 
rest here tonight and at dawn we'll do a little 
scouting, how does that sound. My next transmission 
will be in... 6 hours. Set your clocks friends you 
won't want to miss any of the action tomorrow morning!! 
Oh! And don't forget to leave the autopilot on your 
recorders running, because you never know when 
something exciting is going to happen with Ardent Bane! 
I've set my holocam to start transmission the moment 
one of my sentries activates, I don't want you to miss 
a thing!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Commercial Break: For the next 6 hours we bring you: 
Ultimate Bass Fishing with Jed Grout! Get your poles 
ready friends cause this week he's on that great bass 
fishing planet.....ZZZ ZZZ ZZZ ZZZ ZZZ We interrupt 
Ultimate Bass Fishing to go straight to Ardent Bane! 
on Sappho IV...

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Can you hear me? This is Ardent Bane! on Sappho IV... 
I'm whispering because my perimeter sentry went off, 
its silent alarm triggering a chemical response in my 
brain and waking me instantly with 500cc injection of 
pure adrenalin in my buttocks! Somewhere, off to my 
left is an intruder, it has to be one of the legendary 
Monkey Girls of Sappho IV! I won't be able to narrate 
anymore, I need to use all of my impressive skills to 
swiftly and silently deal with this new threat. But 
stay tuned folks, you'll see all the action, I promise!

Okay, I've managed to get behind the Monkey Girl. It 
looks like she was out foraging and is unaware of my 
camp just a few hundred meters to the left. 
Interesting, nocturnal creatures? My information didn't 
say anything about that, well, that's why they picked 
Ardent Bane! folks. because of my unique skills and 
ability to adapt to new and difficult situations. Stick 
with me and let's bag us a Monkey Girl, huh?

I'm turning on my universal translator. I'm going to 
try and take this first one alive, a little intel never 
hurt! I'm about 8 feet behind her, it doesn't appear 
that she's armed. I know I'm whispering pretty soft, 
but believe me, in a second I won't be. I'm leaving the 
holocam here so you can watch me in action, and don't 
forget friends: Don't try this at home!

***

Ardent Bane! crept out of the bushes, moving silently 
on cat-like feet. He just need to get close enough to 
bring the flat of his sword down with a quick blow to 
the Monkey Girl's head. He could see that the creature 
was incredibly beautiful, a silky mane of light brown 
hair cascaded across her back. He caught her face in 
profile and it was wonderful to behold. 

The moniker Monkey Girl was horribly inaccurate! Her 
tail twitched slightly, left to right and back again. 
Ardent could hear her humming softly as she picked 
splendid red berries from a nearby bush. He could feel 
himself becoming aroused as he caught her scent. Oh 
yes! The first one is always the best, he would teach 
her a thing or two before this night was over he 
thought with a smile.

Ardent turned around and gave the camera a little 
smile. One for the kids he thought. He only needed two 
more steps and then he would have her. Suddenly *Crack* 
he stepped on a fallen branch and the loud noise was 
like a gunshot in the calm quiet night. Ardent cursed 
and lunged forward with his blade, all thoughts of 
capture gone now, he needed to kill this creature 
before she could sound the alarm!

The Monkey Girl leaped back and Ardent's thrusting 
sword point only just barely missed. She was far more 
agile than any creature he'd hunted before Ardent 
realized, but too late. She was about 6 feet away and 
pointing something...Bane squinted, it was...It was an 
UZI submachine gun!! 

"What the hell?" Ardent said to himself and 3.2 billion 
viewers just as the beautiful Monkey Girl depressed the 
trigger.

In less than three seconds ten 9mm bullets had stitched 
their way from Ardent's crotch to his collar. Blood 
spattered beneath the chilling staccato of death. The 
gorgeous Monkey Girl walked over to Ardent Bane! and 
kicked his sword away from his hand, he wouldn't have 
been able to use it anyway. Blood bubbled out of the 
wounds to his lungs and he coughed weakly, spilling 
blood from his mouth. Oh no, he thought, it wasn't 
2000B.C. ... It was 2000 A.D. ... He looked up at the 
Monkey Girl of Sappho IV and pleaded with his eyes, 
staring into her soft, almond shaped orbs of green 
flecked with gold. She was so beautiful, he thought, 
maybe she would understand and help him. His medical 
pack could fix him up, anything short of death was 
treatable, if only...

The Monkey Girl of Sappho IV looked down at Ardent 
Bane! Her lips moved. The universal translator told 
Ardent and his viewers what she said: "Asshole!" and 
then she pumped another three second burst into his 
face.

The end

rache18us@yahoo.com

ps - we now return to Ultimate Bass Fishing 
with....ZZzzzZZzzz

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
It's okay to *READ* stories about unprotected sex with
others outside a monogamous relationship. But it isn't
okay to *HAVE* unprotected sex with people other than
a trusted partner. You only have one body per lifetime,
so take good care of it!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Kristen's collection - Directory 31