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Archive name: walmart.txt
Authors name: Dave (address withheld)
Story title : Cindy, the Wal-Mart Freak

--------------------------------------------------------
This work is copyrighted to the author © 2004.  Please
don't remove the author information or make any changes
to this story.  You may post freely to non-commercial
"free" sites, or in the "free" area of commercial sites.
Thank you for your consideration.
--------------------------------------------------------

Cindy, the Wal-Mart Freak (MF, humor, parody)
by Dave (address withheld)

***

Cindy: Hello, and welcome to Wal-Mart. Ya' know, I've 
got the clap, (many billions and billions of customers 
pass by) she repeats her first line as a number of 
people equal to three times the population of the Earth 
pass by her.

Cindy: Boy, am I glad I am a Wal-Mart greeter. But 
somehow, there must be more to life.

Phyllis (another Wal-Mart Greeter): I am here to 
relieve you.

Cindy: Thanks. But Phil, don't you think there is more 
to life.

Phyllis: Yes, that's why I had a sex change.

Cindy: I would never do that to my self.

Phyllis: Neither would I, that is why my girlfriend did 
it for me.

Cindy: Say, I wonder what is going on in Dave's office 
now.

Phyllis: Probably some asshole making love to a stiff.

Cindy: Did it ever occur to you that I might be the 
only Wal-Mart greeter with the a social disease.

Phyllis: Well, when I was in the middle of my sex 
change...

Cindy: Yes....

Phyllis: It occurred to me then. song: I remember 
having a sex change and thinking about Cindy's 
silliness - I've got two legs from my hips to the 
ground and when they move I walk around.

Phyllis: Lets stop singing.

Cindy: My god... you cured my disease.

Phyllis: What disease.

Cindy: I'm sorry, I think I'll shoot the typist. 

Phyllis: Missed.

Cindy: How about Sam Walton? 

Phyllis: He caught his social disease from group sex 
with Merv Griffin, and Ross Perot.

Bob: Hi girls! 

Phyllis: Get lost creep! 

Bob: Why? 

Phyllis: Because you're a stupid, ignorant person with 
a brain and a penis that resemble jello. 

Bob: But at least I don't have a disease.

Cindy: Hey Bob, want to prove that? 

Bob (effeminate voice): Hey, I don't have a nudity 
clause in my contract.

Cindy: Whose gonna know? This is radio.

Bob: I am not taking off my clothes.... Phyllis!

Phyllis: I am naked, no-one can see me, in my beautiful 
splendor.

Bob: That's disgusting.

Phyllis: You know, one part of me is getting very, 
very, very moist.

Bob: You slut... and get out from under that garden 
hose.

Phyllis: But it is the only way I can get moist because 
I had the discount sex change at Johns Hopkins.

Cindy: People, don't you realize that this is 
alt.sex.stories.

Bob: Well, it is better than Discipling Your Step-
Daughter.

Cindy: Leave her out of it.

Bob: The way you did that, with your cane...

Cindy: No that was the one about the naked high school 
girls.

Bob: But you still are naked.

Phyllis: Yes, isn't it wonderful.

Cindy: Phyllis does have a point, I think I'll get 
naked, too, but this time I'll ruffle some clothes. 
(sound of clothes ruffling)

Bob: This is sick! You're both naked. (millions of 
people reading the newsgroup cum)

Cindy: But isn't it nice? 

Bob: I thought you were talking about the meaning of 
life. 

Cindy: Well, I do have the clap. 

Bob:  That isn't the meaning of life! It has to be 
something philosophical, involving cumquats. 

Cindy: Get a life, being naked on the radio is all the 
rage. 

Bob: All that's left is a lesbian sex scene. 

Cindy: That's sick! (Phyllis and Cindy make grunting 
noises nevertheless.) 

Bob: Get a life! Do you realize that while you were 
spending all this time performing, billions and 
billions of people went into Wal-Mart without being 
greeted? 

Cindy: Bob, could you suck me? Phyllis: On the radio. 

Bob: No way in hell. 

Phyllis: Admit it Bob, you'd like to be naked. 

Bob: Well I... (music climaxes)

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Please keep this story, and all erotic stories out of
the hands of children. They should be outside playing
in the sunshine, not thinking about adult situations.

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