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Archive name: losing.txt (ff-teens, 1st-lesb, reluc)
Authors name: Rachael Ross (rache18us@yahoo.com) 
Story title : Losing - A True Story

--------------------------------------------------------
This work is copyrighted to the author © 2004.  Please
don't remove the author information or make any changes
to this story.  All rights reserved. Thank you for your 
consideration.
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Losing - A True Story (ff-teens, 1st-lesb-expr, reluc)
by Rachael Ross (rache18us@yahoo.com) 

***

Disclaimer: The truth for a change. Not for minors. 
Sorry it's so short, but I couldn't handle trying to 
make it into something it isn't. From an old journal, 
cleaned up a little. But not much. Originally written 
in Minnesota 1998 - Edited 2003.

***

When I was 16 I spent a lot of time with a girl named 
Beth. She'd been my best friend since 6th grade and I 
thought there was nothing we didn't know about each 
other. Boy was I wrong!

I was a skinny, brown haired, cheerleader at that time. 
I lettered in swimming and diving and had a great 
boyfriend who (I thought) I was in love with. Beth was 
the same age, a little shorter at 5'1" and weighed all 
of 90lbs. She had blonde hair in a shag cut and she 
really was a total hottie! 

We shared everything! Whatever one of us had or knew 
was immediately shared with the other. She was the 
sister I never had, a twin sister at that!

Of course we always talked about sex. Everything from 
first periods to first dates. And beyond that there was 
no subject I could imagine us not being able to 
discuss. And so it was when we were both 16 and 
spending the night in the loft of her dad's barn that a 
new subject came up. 

We often slept out there in the warm summers. Being 
near the horses, laying in the soft itch of old straw. 
On woolen blankets which smelled of years of hanging in 
the drafty rafters. I loved it, it was our special 
place where we could be alone and talk about whatever 
we wanted without fear of being overheard or disturbed.

The single electric bulb up in the loft was unscrewed 
just enough to keep it dark. Moonlight filtered in 
through the half open bay door and we could hear the 
horses quietly moving in their stalls below. 

I was in a T-shirt and old jeans, smooth and faded and 
hugging myself. I had one leg over my knee and I was 
squinting as I picked at a toenail with a long, thin 
piece of straw. Beth was laying next to me, in a loose 
halter top and cutoff shorts. It was dark up there, but 
not so dark we couldn't see each other. I looked at 
Beth and saw her green eyes in the moonlight like a 
deer when they're sometimes caught in headlights.

She had just asked me if I ever "touched" myself. 
Privately, in my secret place. We'd kinda gone around 
the subject of masturbation before. We both knew 
everyone did it, but it was still embarrassing to 
imagine that everyone else knew you did it! Anyway, I 
stopped picking at my toe and looked at her. "Hmmm... 
What?" I asked, pretending I hadn't heard her. I wanted 
to see if she'd repeat it.

"I asked if... You know... Do you touch yourself?" Beth 
asked again; in a low almost stage whisper. It would 
have been funny if she hadn't looked so serious! But 
then, I was always the one with the quick wit.

"You mean masturbate?" I asked in the most clinical 
voice I could muster. But I couldn't hold it and I 
laughed. "Sure, what do you think? It feels good!"

I went back to my toe, still acting like she was an 
airhead for even asking. Leave it to the blondes! 
laugh... I always teased her about being blonde. A 
couple of times we'd actually gotten into arguments 
over hair color! Never something serious, just our 
hair. We were two of a kind and now she wanted to talk 
about jerking off!

"Lisaaaa..." she dragged out my name like a whine. "You 
know what I mean... When you do it, I mean, how do you 
do it?"

Now I was paying attention. "What? You mean you've 
never done it?" I must have been too loud because she 
immediately shushed me, looking around like a hunted 
animal, telling me to be quiet! 

Beth went on to tell me she had tried it a bunch of 
times, but it never felt like anything special. Not 
like she'd heard it was supposed to. 

We talked for quite awhile about how things should feel 
and shouldn't, how everyone is different, blah, blah... 
In the end she finally convinced me to finger myself 
while she watched.

I'm still not quite sure, thinking back on it, that I 
didn't let her talk me into it a bit too quickly... As 
though I wanted to do it. At the time I was suddenly 
very shy in front of her.

We'd seen each other naked hundreds of times! We'd 
touched each other just about everywhere you can 
imagine at one time or another, but this was different. 
I finally I peeled off my pants, leaving my shirt and 
panties on. Beth took off everything, to make me feel 
more comfortable she told me. As if having another 
girl, even my best friend, naked next to me while I did 
the most secret thing in my life was going to help me 
relax!!

I ended up closing my eyes, as I usually did anyway, 
and started rubbing myself in small, soft circles 
through my underwear. I knew Beth was watching me and 
I'd deliberately avoided looking at her nude body. I 
was having a hard time relaxing, my pussy is usually 
really quick to juice up, but this time I was staying 
dry. I didn't want Beth to feel bad though, so I kinda 
pretended like I was getting excited. I was only 16 and 
I was having my first fake orgasm!! laugh... Pathetic!

I didn't overdo it at least. And actually as I started 
to breathe like I was getting excited and moving my 
hips ever so slightly against my fingers, I really did 
start to relax! I almost forgot Beth was there, I could 
feel my body responding to my fingers and I let my mind 
wander to thoughts of guys at school and teen idols and 
everything else a teenage girl finds thrilling. 

As I became more and more aroused I pulled my panties 
down and started rubbing myself like I really did when 
I was alone. I worked a finger in and out of my pussy 
and pushed my thumb lightly against my clit, gently, 
over and over again. I was getting there, totally 
oblivious to everything until I heard Beth moving 
quietly closer.

She was lying next to me, almost touching my thighs 
with her face just a few inches from my wet pussy. I 
didn't know what she was doing, only that I didn't want 
to stop!! I was so close! I was going to cum any 
moment. I remember it like it was frozen in time when I 
felt Beth's hand on mine. Her fingers between mine, 
rubbing my aching pussy! It surprised me so much I came 
immediately! The best cum I'd had ever, up to that 
point in my life! All I could do was fall back and 
press our fingers against the center of my pleasure. I 
wasn't even aware of Beth's fingers being distinct from 
my own.

I was still cumming when Beth leaned over me, placing 
her warm wet mouth over mine and she kissed me like no 
one ever had before. None of the boys I'd ever kissed 
had done it like that. Her tongue pushed past my lips 
as I gasped for air and I responded, sucking on her 
tongue and drinking her sweet breath. I couldn't help 
myself; I was just too far gone.

She was still rubbing my pussy, pushing a finger aside 
me, into my slick pussy. I felt her small, hard nipples 
against my bare skin. Her breasts, larger than mine, 
pressed against my bare arm. How long we kissed like 
that I don't know. I honestly can't say. When Beth 
finally pulled her fingers from my pussy and looked at 
me, I was scared to see her. I looked away when she put 
her fingers in her mouth, licking them and tasting me.

I was frightened and confused and I sat there, trying 
to cover myself up while Beth tried to talk to me like 
she was my boyfriend or something. She told me how 
beautiful I was and how much she liked being with me. 
She told me how she'd always loved me, always thought 
of me as more than just a friend. Beth told me it was 
okay to be scared, but she knew I would feel the same 
way about her. That we were meant for each other. 

Part of me believed her. Part of me wanted to believe 
her so badly. She was like a sister to me and part of 
me felt betrayed too. I didn't love her that way. I had 
never told her I did. I never pretended I did. I got 
angry with her for doing this to me. Angry with me for 
feeling this way. Everything was wrong. Looking back I 
knew the signs were there, for far longer than I'd ever 
imagined.

But that night, in the loft, I couldn't give her what 
she needed. She tried to hug me, maybe it was the same 
hug we had always shared... Maybe it was a new kind of 
hug, a dangerous hug. I rejected it, shrugged it off 
and got dressed in silence. We were still friends after 
that, but we were never best friends again. And I still 
cry when the moon is full and I think I smell straw and 
old woolen blankets in the dark.

end

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Please keep this story, and all erotic stories out of
the hands of children. They should be outside playing
in the sunshine, not thinking about adult situations.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Kristen's collection - Directory 27