("`-''-/").___..--''"`-._
                     `6_ 6  )   `-.  (     ).`-.__.`)
                     (_Y_.)'  ._   )  `._ `. ``-..-'
                    _..`--'_..-_/ /--'_.' ,'
                   ((('   (((-(((''  ((((
             K R I S T E N' S    C O L L E C T I O N
		_________________________________________
		                WARNING!
		This text file contains sexually explicit
		material. If you do not wish to read this
		type of literature, or you are under age,
		PLEASE DELETE THIS FILE NOW!!!!
		_________________________________________




			Scroll down to view text













Archive name: notes.txt (MF)
Authors name: Holly Rennick (jlrennick@yahoo.com)
Story title : Notes on Onida 

--------------------------------------------------------
This work is copyrighted to the author © 2003.  Please
don't remove the author information or make any changes
to this story.  You may post freely to non-commercial
"free" sites, or in the "free" area of commercial sites.
Thank you for your consideration.
--------------------------------------------------------

Notes on Onida (MF)
by Holly Rennick (jlrennick@yahoo.com)

***

by Holly Rennick
annotation by Cindi Barton

"History is more or less bunk." Henry Ford

"Well this history isn't." Holly Rennick

"Those who don't remember the past are condemned to 
repeat it." George Santayana

"But could we give this one another run-through?" Cindi 
Barton

AUTHOR'S COMMENTS: The upcoming NEA Teachers of 
Language State Conference is soliciting papers dealing 
with "Language for Leadership". If I get something 
accepted, District foots the bill. Plus it would look 
good as a "Professional Activity" in my annual review. 
Otherwise, I have to go to PTA meetings. So what I'm 
going to do is write "Cohabitive Control by Verbal 
Dominance, the Oneida Story". It's more engaging than 
"FDR's Fireside Chats" that Doris Mullins read last 
year.

The Oneida Community, New York, was one of the more 
successful utopian communes in history. They were 
"Christian Perfectionism", seeking an environment 
suitable to shield themselves from sin in the 1800's. 
They couldn't do it these days, of course.

As Adam and Eve were first innocent and as little 
children have no shame, humans must be innately 
sinless, the Perfectionists decided. "The church on 
earth," they hoped, "is now rising to meet the 
approaching kingdom in the heavens, and to become its 
duplicate and representative on earth." In the perfect 
environment, man might live his life purely. (Sorry for 
the sexism, but that's how they put it.)

The Oneida Community was of interest to H.G. Wells, 
Aldous Huxley, Julian Huxley, and George Bernard Shaw. 
Shaw appended "Experiment at Oneida Creek" in "The 
Revolutionist's Handbook" to his "Man and Superman". So 
my subject has literary merit.

Oneida is today remembered for its silver spoons 
(Perfectionists were good in business) and what they 
called "complex marriage" (Perfectionists were good in 
bed, as we shall see.). It seems such a shame that the 
art is lost. Not the silversmithing art, I mean to say, 
the other one.

Following are my notes on the Community's chronology. 
There are scores of scholarly books on the subject, 
lots of websites and a substantial collection of 
original documents archived at Syracuse University. By 
all means, check me out. I didn't junk it up with 
references, since who cares, but it's real. Honest.

My NEA paper will analyze the use of language by 
Oneida's father figure, John Humphrey Noyes, 1811-1886. 
How did he justify to the Victorian Era the routine 
exchange of sexual partners? How did he train males to 
not ejaculate? I mean, we're talking "Language for 
Leadership"! First I just want to get the chronology in 
order. I'll do my heavy-duty deconstruction later. (I 
took "Deconstructionism and Postmodernism", and got a 
C. Nobody at NEA knows that, though.)

I've asked my colleague Cindi Barton to check me out. 
She teaches science, so knows more about handling 
facts. You may remember her from my "Writer's Notebook" 
and "Cindi's Top Tips of Sibling Success", but this one 
isn't that, of course. It's for the NEA.

- Holly

ANNOTATOR'S COMMENTS

For heaven's sake! Why did I agree to look at all this 
history? English majors like Holly should just stick to 
how to use the semicolon or whatever. As a scientist, I 
stick to things in which I'm trained. If I, let's say, 
discover a new element doing the strong-acid-plus-sugar 
demo ("Safety glasses, everyone.") I'll write a paper. 
I could call it Cindium. Maybe Bartonium if it's 
radioactive. "Br" is taken, though, but I think "Ci" is 
still available. I have a periodic chart.

Anyway, my comments are inserted between the "*** Cindi 
Starts ***" and "*** Cindi Ends ***". Holly's just 
insecure about sex. That's why we're good buddies, 
because we balance each other. For reading over her 
notes, she's promised to take me to the Sizzler.

- Cindi

LET HISTORY SPEAK

John Humphrey Noyes was born in Brattleboro, Vermont in 
1811. His forebears arrived from England just 14 years 
after the Pilgrims. Noyes' father, also John, a 
successful businessman and Congressman, had become an 
agnostic while studying theology at Dartmouth. Noyes' 
mother, Polly, was an aunt of President Rutherford B. 
Hayes. Sixteen years younger than John Sr., she was 
strong-willed and deeply religious. She taught her 
children to fear the Lord, praying before John 
Humphrey's birth that someday he might be a minister of 
the Gospel.

In 1826 New England religious revival hit its peak 
under Charles Finney, but young Noyes was cynical. John 
Humphrey entered Dartmouth, graduated with high honors 
in 1830, and spent a year studying law in New 
Hampshire.

*** Cindi Starts ***

Right off we see what's coming. This guy pronounces his 
name like "noise", but it's spelled "No" plus "yes". We 
use that switch all the time. "No, you can't touch my 
blouse." Then, while your little finger is brushing his 
belt buckle, "Well, yeah, it's OK for you to undo a few 
buttons if we're just fooling around." It's called the 
"No, Yes". Noyes is out to pull the old switcheroo.

And I'll not even comment about an older father, away a 
lot, a younger mother and a growing boy. "John 
Humphrey," I can hear her, "Come upstairs and work this 
whalebone around so it fits me better. If you stand 
behind me and reach around, you'll feel where it pokes 
me. Maybe you need to reach inside. Is the door 
locked?"

And related to a President? "I never had sex with 
either my son John or my nephew Rutherford. It depends 
what you mean by, 'with'."

So we'll probably meet Mom again.

Meanwhile, the boy's smitten by jurisprudence. As Will 
Rogers put it, "I don't think you can make a lawyer 
honest by an act of legislature. You've got to work on 
his conscience. And his lack of conscience is what 
makes him a lawyer."

So we've got his number. Things look grim for Holly's 
deconstruction, or whatever she plans to do with this. 
When I go to NEA, this is why I skip the papers. I 
usually run into someone on the elevator and run out of 
time.

*** Cindi Ends ***

THAT OLD TIME RELIGION

The Second Great Awakening, a religious revival, swept 
northern states in 1831. Anyone could enter heaven by 
repenting of sin. At the request of his mother, John 
Humphrey attended an event again under the ministry of 
Charles Finney. Again he was at unmoved, but this time 
suffered a feverish cold that led him to think of 
death, humble himself, expect the Millennial Kingdom, 
end his study of law and enter Andover Seminary.

But he found the Andover students too worldly and 
transferred to Yale where many prominent in the 
Awakening received their training. Associating with 
anti-Calvinistic reformers, Noyes began to hear about 
Perfectionism, an offshoot of Wesleyan Methodism 
offering a path to perfect holiness by an inner 
salvation. As Noyes could summon neither feelings of 
guilt nor despair, Perfectionism fit with his belief 
that he was innately sinless. He was ordained as a 
Congregational minister.

In 1834 Noyes experienced three emotional weeks in New 
York City during which he fluctuated from manic 
euphoria to depression, his "High Tide of the Spirit". 
Noyes became passionate. Just days after his 
experience, he announced that he had reached a state of 
sinlessness. Perhaps because a sinless world might be 
difficult for organized religion, his license to preach 
was annulled by his superiors.

Recovered from this psychic distress, Noyes found the 
succeeding three years difficult as he wandered around 
New York and New England, expounding with little 
success his unorthodox beliefs. Noyes returned to 
Putney to evangelize family and friends.

*** Cindi Starts ***

This is exactly why I'm a Catholic. Nobody's perfect. 
Like maybe I let a guy undo a few buttons because we're 
just fooling around on the Hudson's Bay blanket and 
then he slips down my jeans and, well, you know. 
Confess that you're not perfect. If it was your 
brother, maybe you don't need to give that detail to 
the Father, is all. I can understand that some Fathers 
mess up with the celibacy thing. They're not perfect 
either, but they should definitely not have sex with 
Sisters. Protestants just have too many options. Our 
only concern is which mass to go to.

This isn't to say that Protestants can't go to heaven 
or be good people. I never ask about a guy's religion, 
but sometimes you can tell. Another Catholic will never 
look at Mary above my bed and ask if I'm a nun. I got 
that picture when I was a little girl. A good Catholic 
will cross himself for Her blessing.

*** Cindi Ends ***

COMPLEX MARRIAGE

By 1836, Noyes' thoughts had coalesced. According to 
Noyes' calculation, the Second Coming had already 
occurred in 70 AD, so it was time for him to implement 
the consequences. God's Kingdom on earth would be a 
Biblical Communism in which all property was owned 
jointly. More revolutionary than Marxian economics, 
however, would be the end of exclusive marriage. As 
there's no marriage in Heaven, the faithful may love 
each other fully where Heaven is established on earth. 
And believers who fully love each other in communal 
association must be allowed to love each other 
physically, "not by pairs, as in the world, but en 
masse." God wants His representatives to have different 
partners.

Perfect unity results where each is married to all in 
heart, mind and body. "Free love" was a term Noyes 
believed himself to have coined. The "free love" label, 
however, was soon purloined by a different class of 
speculators and came to represent a form of 
licentiousness with which Noyes had no affinity. Noyes 
entitled his version, "complex marriage".

"In the holy community, there is no more reason why 
sexual intercourse should be restricted by law than why 
eating and drinking should be -- and there is as little 
occasion for shame in the one case as in the other... 
Sexual shame is factitious and irrational... The only 
way to elevate love is to clear away the false, 
debasing associations that usually crowd around it, and 
substitute true, beautiful ones.

"The plea that marriage is founded in nature will not 
bear investigation. Experience testifies that the human 
heart is capable of loving more than one at the same 
time. It is not the loving heart but the green-eyed 
claimant of the loving heart that sets up the one-love 
theory."

*** Cindi Starts ***

Well, OK, I agree it's not about shame, but to make sex 
like eating and drinking? Like snarfing down a Big Mac? 
Smooth old son-of-a-bitch, isn't he?

Making love is fun when it's a little bit possible and 
a little bit risky. Take, for example, Aaron in my Life 
Sciences. I can tell that he's not yet had sex; he's 
not confident with girls. My bending over his desk 
turns him beet red when my bra hangs loose. Look at my 
hunched-forward shoulders, buster! My risk wasn't much, 
just giving him a peek. His risk was brushing me when 
we were hanging up the wall chart of the nitrogen 
cycle. I let him do me three or four times since nobody 
was watching. It's just our opportunity that now 
awaits. I'll do the No-Yes to steer him along, of 
course. But let's be honest; it isn't like we'll just 
be going to drink a Coke.

And, Heavens-to-Betsy, when I teach him a few things, 
it isn't like we're getting married!

*** Cindi Ends ***

GETTING STARTED

Noyes' 1837 denunciation of marriage in the radical 
"The Battle-Axe and Weapons of War" newspaper 
temporarily cost Noyes most of his followers, but his 
unflagging effort snared Harriet Holton, granddaughter 
of the Lieutenant Governor. After she started to 
financially support him, Noyes proposed marriage in a 
careful manner: their bond would selfishly possess one 
another just for a time and then grow to higher 
dimensions.

Marriage advanced his work for God. "By this marriage, 
besides herself, and a good social position, which she 
held as belonging to the first families of Vermont, I 
obtained money enough to buy a house and printing-
office, and to buy a press and type."

During the decade following, Noyes published a series 
of newspapers promoting his views. He helped arrange 
the marriages of his sisters to two of his adherents, 
Harriet H. to John L. Skinner and Charlotte to John R. 
Miller. He gained the loyalty of his younger brother 
George and later, his own mother.

The Putney Community came to be with the Noyes brothers 
John Humphrey and George, the in-laws Skinner and 
Miller, and George Cragin as its nucleus. John Humphrey 
was boss, later declaring, "I would never connect 
myself with any individual or association in religion 
unless I were acknowledged leader."

Putney communism "included all property of family 
living and associations". Approximately 37 members 
lived in three houses, maintained a store and worshiped 
in a chapel. They ran two farms and with Noyes 
inheritance, supported themselves.

In 1841, Noyes and Harriet initiated complex marriage 
by enlarging their marital relations to include George 
and Mary Cragin. For five years thereafter, complex 
marriage was practiced among the commune's leadership.

*** Cindi Starts ***

I knew it. I knew it. I knew it! Who comes back into 
the picture? We don't need to be rocket scientists (no 
scratch that one, given the Space Shuttles) to see his 
design. He's for sex as a community activity; he's said 
so. So whom does he recruit? Mom and his sisters.

Did you catch that complex marriage was practiced only 
among the leadership for five years? Read back and see 
who that was if you didn't catch the family 
coincidence.

I can imagine Noyes's line, "Mom [or Harriet or 
Charlotte, three separate conversations, surely], you 
know how the two of us were so close before, especially 
when Father was away being a politician? How we found 
our very special way to prove it? Remember when the 
feather tick exploded under you? How we could enjoy 
ourselves in the sleigh because the horses knew the 
way? That time on the porch swing? [To his sisters] 
That Hudson's Bay blanket that was red anyway, so it 
didn't matter. Well now God approves it. It's what we 
perfected mortals are supposed to do. It's in the 
Book."

*** Cindi Ends ***

MALE CONTINENCE

Female orgasm was the ultimate objective of social sex. 
"Male continence" meant the man putting his penis 
inside the woman's vagina for periods of over an hour 
and then withdrawing without ejaculation after the 
woman experienced several orgasms. The term derived 
from "containing" the sperm.

Noyes reflected, "I conceived the idea that the sexual 
organs have a social function which is distinct from 
the propagative; and that these functions may be 
separated practically. I experimented on this idea, and 
found that the self-control which it required was not 
difficult; also that my enjoyment was increased; also 
that my wife's experience was very satisfactory, as it 
had never been before."

Noyes proposed, "We begin by analyzing the act of 
sexual intercourse. It has a beginning, middle, and an 
end. Its beginning and most elementary form is the 
simple presence of the male organ in the female. Then 
usually follows a series of reciprocal motions. Finally 
this exercise brings a nervous action or ejaculatory 
crisis which expels the semen... Suppose the man 
chooses... to enjoy... the reciprocal motion, and yet 
to stop short of the final crisis... If you say that 
this is impossible, I answer that I know it is 
possible, nay, that it is easy."

"I suppose physiologists might say... that the 
excitement by motion might be carried so far that a 
voluntary suppression of the commencing crisis would be 
injurious. But what if a man knowing his own power and 
limits, should not even approach the crisis, and yet be 
able to enjoy the presence and the motion of libitum."

"I appeal to the memory of every man who has had good 
sexual experience to say whether, on the whole, the 
sweetest and noblest period of intercourse with woman 
is not that first of simple presence and spiritual 
effusion, before the muscular exercise begins."

"As propagation will become a science, so amative 
intercourse will have place among the fine arts. Indeed 
it will take rank above music, painting, sculpture, &c; 
for it combines the charms and benefits of them all. 
There is as much room for cultivation of taste and 
skill in this department as in any."

Noyes the rationalist was troubled by any waste of 
semen. Sex not intended for procreation and yet 
involving the expulsion of semen was illogical. 
Celibacy didn't solve the God-given need. Nor was the 
safe period method a good solution either, as it was 
unreliable and unavailable frequently enough.

With strict adherence to Noyes' technique there was 
minimal risk of pregnancy. Under his tutelage, at most 
31 accidental births took place in a community of 
approximately 200 adults exchanging partners as often 
as twice a week over 20 years.

*** Cindi Starts ***

Is this for real? Everybody screwing everybody is weird 
enough, but makes some sort of sense if you really like 
lots of sex. But male continence, a guy not coming? 
"Reciprocal motion" is what it's all about.

I asked Holly about "libitum", what it means. She says 
that it's what Noyes wrote. We're pretty sure it means 
screwing, but our dictionaries don't know, even.

Now Holly thinks I screw a bunch, but it's really not 
all the time or anything. But I guess I have sampled 
the spectrum. Guys are two types. A hasty fucker shoots 
before you're ready and a proficient lover waits. 
That's it. We're talking minutes, though, for the 
latter. An hour? No way, Jose. I don't care what they 
claim about their abilities, my guys wear rubbers. And 
every one is wet inside when it comes off.

My weird girlfriends say that Tibetan Buddhist tantra 
fosters male orgasm control because the point of sacred 
sex is to raise men's kundalini energy by 
metaphysically re-absorbing their sperm and sending it 
shooting up their spinal chords into their brains and 
thus achieving blissful union with the Goddess. Women 
are thought to be "shaktis", empowering incarnations of 
goddesshood that validates the male spiritual 
experience. It's stupid, if you ask me, but even if 
it's right, only some Yogi stud can pull this off, 
certainly not a red-blooded American.

Then there's this new-age "karezza". It's just about 
who's in control. The woman's passion is conventionally 
subordinated to the man's. He must control the 
situation. But (whoa, we're getting so insightful, 
aren't we?) it doesn't have to be this way. The chick 
gets her say too! Karezza says that there should be 
long, tender, restful pauses, alternations of "storm 
and peace". The whole embrace can be very quiet, 
decided by the woman. Well, whoop-ti-do! Once she lets 
him get to it and make her come, he's not going to join 
her?

Noyes must have had some sort of numbing drug, I'll 
bet. He did well, sure. Let's give him credit for 
dropping the fertility. Maybe he just recited the books 
of the Bible backwards to keep from impregnating his 
lover. But however he did it, sorry to say, it's an art 
as lost as the art of scrimshaw.

Where Noyes was half right is that intercourse ranks 
"above music, painting, sculpture, &c.; for it combines 
the charms and benefits of them all." It ranks above, 
but it's no combination. I can't sing, can't paint, 
can't sculpt one bit and I can still screw just fine.

His health claim about semen squandered to satisfy an 
instinctual orgasm is ridiculous. I've never had a guy 
get sick. Sure, they get worn out, same as tennis. But 
nobody's ever argued that playing tennis is bad for 
you.

*** Cindi Ends ***

MUTUAL CRITICISM

All members were subject to criticisms of the whole 
membership, usually directed toward traits, thoughts or 
acts detracting from family unity. Mutual criticism 
could be shameful and humiliating. Women were afforded 
opportunity to discuss sexual expectations openly and 
to criticize the physical performance of a partner. An 
individual repeatedly criticized for uninspired 
performance in bed could be denied desirable partners.

Mutual criticism in evening meetings represented the 
centerpiece of Community life. Only Noyes himself was 
exempt because he felt that a group should not 
criticize its leader.

Harriet Noyes wasn't exempt, however. "Mrs. Harriet A. 
Noyes was criticized. It was thought she was deficient 
in severity; it would do her good to scold sometimes. 
She should improve in sitting up straight." But they 
weren't mean, adding, "She was a beautiful lover... did 
not trifle, but treated love with sacredness; She was 
free from the marriage spirit, a good critic, a medium 
of grace to the Association."

The youth of course needed guidance. "A spirit has 
prevailed among them of running together in cliques, 
leading to anti-improvement and superficiality. Last 
evening a note from Sarah Burt was read confessing a 
spirit of false love and insincerity and a desire to 
separate herself from it. This led to a general 
criticism of that class of girls. Their condition was 
attributed in some degree to novel reading. They were 
exhorted to seek the ascending fellowship."

*** Cindi Starts ***

Mutual criticism was what Mao used in his Cultural 
Revolution to purge educated citizens. It works.

Where Noyes got mean was allowing complaints about a 
guy's performance. Sometimes nice guys just foul up. 
You tell then that it's OK and try to help them get 
better. Usually they do, if they trust you. My brother 
and I were terrible, both of us, the first times, but 
we just laughed because we loved each other.

*** Cindi Ends ***

THE END OF PUTNEY

In 1847, the Putney group agreed, "that the Kingdom of 
God had come." As complex marriage grew, however, and 
members began to boast of healing powers, neighbors 
grew less tolerant.

Noyes had treated a Harriet Hall for tuberculosis and 
dropsy by holding a s‚ance and sexually sealing the 
spiritual cure. After her husband's complaint, a grand 
jury indicted Noyes for adultery. Investigation led to 
a second count based on frank conversations with 
supporters or would-be supporters who subsequently 
defected.

Fifteen-year-old Lucinda Lamb was one of three "flowers 
of the village" plucked by Miller. Emma and Helen 
Campbell, 24 and 21, could legally surrender their 
virtue to Miller and Noyes himself. Allowing seduction 
its course of time, Miller writes, "I was quite pleased 
to find Emma at our house. The only thing that 
displeases me is that she is too much afraid to stay 
and will not make herself at home." Lucinda, more 
enthusiastic for full participation in the ways of the 
Community, went to Miller's brother-in-law George 
Noyes.

John R. Miller countered community concern with his 
persuasive ability, drawing upon the positive business 
and personal relationship the Noyes family had with the 
townspeople. Compromise and financial conciliation were 
important. As Noyes put it, "Our policy is to give the 
enemy a bridge of money, over which to make a decent 
retreat."

With so many Putney conflagrations smouldering, Noyes, 
Moses of the new dispensation but always the Yankee 
pragmatist, wished to avoid martyrdom when the payoffs 
ran out. In 1848 he forfeited half his $2,000 bond and 
fled Vermont.

*** Cindi Starts ***

My 15-year-olds take charge of their own sexuality, if 
not always safely. But back then it would have been a 
huge deal. Most girls were fellowshipped at less than 
15 in the Oneida record, but these were daughters of 
already-members. As their fathers and brothers could 
then enjoy them, they were presumably encouraged to 
accept the "pearl of great price" after their very 
first spotting. Lucinda was her own girl.

In later years, Lucinda's picture, black hair pulled 
above her head, appears in the archives of the 
faithful. Her staying suggests that George did a good 
job.

*** Cindi Ends ***

THE BEGINNING OF ONEIDA

Forty-five believers followed Noyes to Oneida Creek 
between Utica and Syracuse, New York where they 
purchased 23 acres. This Promised Land was nearer the 
Canadian border, convenient in case of future 
persecution.

All that was practiced at Putney occurred in larger 
scale at Oneida. Economic communism was 
institutionalized. Unlike Putney, which evolved, Oneida 
was strictly planned as a social and religious utopia.

By January 1849, there were 87 members on approximately 
40 acres of partially cleared land with an Indian 
sawmill. The Community purchased yet additional real 
estate, established a variety of minor craft 
industries, built a communal dwelling and appointed 
administrative committees.

By February 1850, there were 172 members and Oneida 
publicly stated that it was not actively seeking new 
members. Thereafter it periodically reaffirmed this 
position. None-the-less, by February 1851 there were 
205.

It seemed to be working, as John R. Miller reflected to 
George Cragin, "I think I can say with Mr. Noyes, that 
exclusive love with me is a thing gone by. Two years 
ago we... had to have our watch constantly on duty to 
prevent our social building from being burned up by the 
fires of jealousy... It never enters our heads that we 
can offend anyone by the expression of love. This is 
truly one of the 'greater miracles'."

*** Cindi Starts ***

So they all lived happily ever after, laboring as 
family by day, copulating as family by night. Well just 
keep reading. You know it's not going to work out 
because here we are 150 years later, working out butts 
off and some of us still sleeping alone.

*** Cindi Ends ***

ASCENDING FELLOWSHIP

Noyes' idea of "ascending fellowship" was critical for 
Christian complex marriage to not degenerate into 
heathen licentiousness.

As the Community explained, "It is regarded as better 
for the young of both sexes to associate in love with 
persons older than themselves, and, if possible, with 
those who are spiritual and have been some time in the 
school of self-control, and who are thus able to make 
love safe and edifying... It is well understood by 
physiologists, that it is undesirable for persons of 
similar characters and temperaments to mate together... 
It is not desirable for two inexperienced and 
unspiritual persons to rush into fellowship with each 
other; that it is far better for both to associate with 
persons of mature character and sound sense."

Those picked to instruct the virgins were older 
"Central Members" considered to be closer to God. A 
male Central Member would pick a virgin of about 14, 
but some of them were as young as 10. Noyes often 
insisted on being the first. Girls were restricted from 
intercourse with young men until they could prove they 
would not form love relationships.

Female Central Members past the age of menopause 
initiated the boys, the latter confined to their 
assignment until mastering male continence.

The system seems to have been demanding. As Noyes 
reflected, "The plan proposed last fall of introducing 
the young men to the freedom of the Association through 
the more spiritual women has been attended with 
difficulties. Mrs. Cragin lost her equilibrium in the 
attempt to carry it out, and there appears to have been 
an unhealthy excitement in Perkins and perhaps others, 
which has ended in grudging discontent."

"The transition of the young men from the hot blood of 
virginity to the quiet freedom which is the essential 
element of our Society is emphatically the difficult 
pass in our social experience... We have distressing 
examples of the effect of initiating young men. The 
spiritual collapse of Julia Hyde and Sarah Dunn, 
perhaps also of Sarah Campbell, Mrs. Worden and Louisa 
Waters may be mentioned... The weaker party needs 
protection from the untamed lion."

*** Cindi Starts ***

So let's see how this works.

Hiram: "Gosh, Aunt Carrie, I'm not sure what I'm to 
do."

Aunt Carrie: "Don't worry. That's why the Central 
Members chose me."

Hiram: "Aren't you a Central Member?
"
Aunt Carrie: "Certainly. I'm ascended, young man! Now 
undo my garters."

Hiram: "Like this?"

Aunt Carrie: "Yes, but try not to tremble. God wants 
you to be perfect."

Hiram: Sorry. "It's just, you know, I've never actually 
seen..."

Aunt Carrie: "God made me perfect."

Hiram: "That's what they taught us. My heavens, Aunt 
Carrie!"

Aunt Carrie: "Just checking."

Hiram: "I'm not too sure you should be doing that."

Aunt Carrie: "About like your dad. He's sometimes not a 
good container. We talked to him in Mutual Criticism 
last week"

Hiram: "So don't I get on top, like we practice in the 
Children's Wing? The girls just don't let us push in 
since they want Mr. Noyes to be the one."

Aunt Carrie: "You just lie flat and I'll do the work."

Hiram: "What if I spill my seed?"

Aunt Carrie: "Try praying. It's not a problem, though, 
due to my seniority qualification. Just not too quick. 
Ready?"

Hiram: "Mom says she's next."

Aunt Carrie: "My younger sister needs to wait her turn. 
You can't sleep with her until you have your continence 
perfected. Don't be like your dad."

So it sounds pretty good for our Aunt Carrie, don't you 
think? But Mrs. Cragin, Perkins, Julia Hyde, Sarah 
Dunn, Sarah Campbell, Mrs. Worden and Louisa Waters 
seemed to have breakdowns.

So why would the women suffer, and yet, by lack of 
mention, not the males? Here's my theory. Males might 
be able to contain themselves for periods, but 
physiology says they need to now-and-then get 
themselves back into balance. Postmenopausal women 
serve that purpose. Fire away! So here come all the 
guys doing the Lord's work who just need completed 
quickies. The receptacles get overwhelmed. Just my 
theory.

Maybe young Hirams were a bit too much for a woman of a 
certain age. Now you'd give them Valium, but it wasn't 
invented yet.

*** Cindi Ends ***

MR. NO YES

Noyes allowed greater freedom to followers he thought 
ready. An 1849 letter from Mary Cragin to her husband 
reports Noyes's suggestion that, "if Mr. Bradley is in 
a good state... he have liberty with Ellen and Philena 
if he wishes it. Sarah [Bradley] will no doubt be 
pleased to help her husband fellowship with others... 
Also hint to those girls that they exercise some 
conservatism, and not allow themselves to be made too 
free with by all sorts."

Noyes likewise withheld authorization for sexual 
relations, as Mary Cragin, in that same letter, 
delicately notes, "With regard to the state of things 
between you and me, I am well satisfied. God has our 
hearts in his power, and I have no complaint to make of 
his administration. When he thinks best he will give me 
that attraction which you desire; and until he does 
think best, as there is some excellent reason for 
withholding it, let us say, 'Thy will be done'."

A retrospective assessment of the sexual system is 
found is a letter from Noyes' son Theodore to medical 
student Anita Newcomb McGee. The power to regulate or 
withdraw sexual privileges, Theodore deemed, "by common 
consent delegated to father and his subordinates, 
constituted by far the most effectual means of 
government. Father possessed in a remarkable degree the 
faculty of convincing people that the use of this 
arbitrary power was exercised for their own good."

*** Cindi Starts ***

No, Yes. "No, Mary, you can't with your husband George. 
Yes Mr. Bradley, you may with Ellen and Philena. Have 
Mrs. Bradley make the arrangements."

Mr. Noyes had so many things to be in charge of. It's 
pretty confusing just being in charge of yourself 
sometimes.

*** Cindi Ends ***

ARE YOU TAKEN TONIGHT?

The men had their problems. William H. Perry was 
accused of "sensual self-seeking and concealment," 
including hiding evidence of venereal disease, in his 
overly free relations. Those suffering from what Noyes 
called "the rooster spirit" and unwilling to conform 
were expelled.

As women who were younger and more attractive might be 
overwhelmed with demands for sex, a more-Victorian 
recruitment of bed partners evolved.

"Persons shall not be obliged to receive under any 
circumstances the attentions of those whom they do not 
like. They abhor rapes, whether committed under the 
cover of marriage or elsewhere... Every woman is free 
to refuse every man's attentions."

"It is best for men in their approaches to women, to 
invite personal interviews through the intervention of 
a third party, for two important reasons: viz., first, 
that the matter may be brought in some measure under 
the inspection of the Community; and, secondly, that 
the women may decline proposals, if they choose, 
without embarrassment or restraint."

Details were worked out amongst the ladies. "If there 
is any doubt in the minds of those who are asked to 
give invitations as to the propriety of the visit they 
are to consult any one of the following persons: Mrs. 
Dunn, Mrs. Leonard, Mrs. Thayer, Jane Kinsley and 
Harriet Allen. All women carrying invitations shall 
report to these women, who will keep a record."

*** Cindi Starts ***

I try to be a matchmaker for Holly sometimes. If I 
think a guy will respect her pace, I'll drop a few 
hints. Nothing like, "Mick likes your eyes," but maybe 
something about Mick liking a certain author. Maybe 
I'll set up a double date, a concert or something. My 
brother and I used to double to the drive-in. My 
boyfriend and I got the front. I'd straddle him, facing 
the rear and my brother would get his date on his lap 
the same way. Then the two of us could make faces at 
each other and maybe even come at the same time. He 
could read me even if I was only silhouetted. Holly's 
too inhibited, though. Plus they hardly have drive-ins 
any more.

What relates to Oneida is that somebody else trying to 
schedule you can get complicated. I'll bet one of 
students could write a computer program where you'd say 
how often you wanted to and your first choices. It 
would e-mail everybody the schedule.

Maybe Aaron could write the code. I'd have him do it my 
place, since it shouldn't be on my school Apple. I'd 
explain how it was for Ms. Rennick's history project, 
just hypothetical. I'd show him where on the net to get 
short instructional clips. We'd watch them. To test his 
program, we'd just use two names, Aaron and Cindi. When 
it said we should sleep together, I'd giggle and say we 
didn't have to do anything, just pretend like we were, 
since the computer said so. I'd say that I had to take 
off my blouse, though, since we're not computers 
ourselves.

*** Cindi Ends ***

MARY CRAGIN

Mary Cragin's untimely death in a boating accident in 
1851 brought Noyes personal crisis, as it came to be 
realized that she was indeed his favorite woman. Noyes, 
all in all an honest Moses, took this as a lesson in 
his own imperfection. Excerpting from a letter to his 
own wife, Harriet,

"Do you not think, as I do, that my falling in love 
with Mrs. Cragin was what drew me out of commencing 
bondage to you and gave us all a send-off into 
Communism? ... What if I was in danger of being 
surrounded and taken possession of by Mrs. Cragin, so 
that I could not be a free medium of the Community 
spirit or do my duty to the young in behalf of the 
ascending fellowship? It seems now clear to me that 
this was the meaning of Mrs. Cragin's withdrawal."

*** Cindi Starts ***

The first extra-marital conquest has a special feel. 
John Humphrey probably remembered his, Harriet's, 
George and Mary's theoretical discourse, then escorting 
Mary to his bedchamber, probably clearing Harriet's 
dressing gown from the wardrobe hook. More likely, he 
called Harriet in to do it.

Can't you hear his authority? "Fear not, my dear Mrs. 
Cragin. My seed is secured within my loins, promising 
you ecstasy upon ecstasy. Love me only as you would 
love Christ Jesus. George never showed you this way, 
I'll wager, where you bend over the end of the bed."

After Noyes "married" Mary, so to speak, we just read 
how he ruled that she needed to knock it off with her 
husband. "Thy will be done," she conceded. As Holly's 
paper is going to prove, John Humphrey was one good 
talker.

*** Cindi Ends ***

EXPEDIENT PROPRIETY

In 1850 and 1851, grand juries heard complaints about 
the Perfectionists. Ten indictments loomed, one 
precipitated by the severe whipping by member Henry 
Seymour of his mentally disturbed wife Tryphena. She 
had been "crying nights, wandering about, frightening 
the children, and talking incoherently." Tryphena was 
one of the first locals to join the group, accepting 
with difficulty the sexual obligation. Part of 
Tryphena's mental instability may have been associated 
with this hesitation.

In January 1852 The Observer, a New York paper, 
launched a crusade against Noyes, the Tryphena 
publicity fostering comparison to the polygamous 
Mormons. Noyes feared, "It is quite possible that the 
agitation which The New York Observer has stirred up 
may compel the authorities to prosecute the 
indictment."

Noyes proposed a temporary concession: discontinue 
complex marriage until public feeling moderated. The 
Community was "not attached to forms," even its own. 
"To be able to conform to any circumstances, and any 
institutions, and still preserve spiritual freedom" was 
the goal. New effort would be devoted to, somewhat 
optimistically, the "abolition of death."

As part of their campaign, the Oneidans invited 80 
surrounding families to a strawberries-and-cream party. 
More was involved than strawberries, however. As Noyes 
observed, "It seems to me that the likeliest way to 
quash those indictments is to set the [plaintiffs] to 
work as our attorneys, and pay them well for it." The 
strategy proved successful. The critics 
enthusiastically exonerated the Community, one of them 
declaring, "The people in this vicinity will not 
consent to have you disperse."

Tryphena's case was settled out of court with Oneida 
agreeing to pay asylum expenses and $125 per year if 
she were well and $200 if she remained "unsound in body 
or mind" after discharge.

Oneida joyfully announced its resumption of complex 
marriage on August 29, 1852.

A postscript: Tryphena eventually overcame her disorder 
and returned to the Community and her husband, by whom 
she had a child. Henry Seymour became an influential 
and respected member noted for his horticulture.

*** Cindi Starts ***

When I started reading Holly's notes, I saw something 
attractive. And I still see available sex as pretty 
cool. But, OK, maybe it's too much of a good thing. 
Tryphena gets wasted and her Henry gets to garden.

The Observer had it wrong, though. Perfectionism makes 
more sense than Latter Day Sainthood. Mormon men wear 
special underwear and get to populate their own 
universes. Plus they all get to be Elders. Being a 
Mormon wife is like living in a time-share. Being a 
Perfectionist wife would have been more like having a 
whole hotel. A Mormon woman can't be one of their 
Twelve Apostles. My Church is of course just as bad 
about females, but we aren't excommunicated for 
pointing it out.

And putting complex marriage on hold? Either it's OK 
with God or it isn't. You don't let The Observer set 
your Commandments. It would be like this:

The Pope says that God says, no abortions.

Yes, but Pro-Choice is whining so the Pope says go 
ahead and kill the babies.

Hey Pope, Pro Choice isn't so big these days.

The Pope says stop vacuuming them out.

John Paul II may have lost St. Peter's direct line some 
time back, but at least he thinks it's God on the other 
end and He's only phoned once. At least the Pope would 
know whatever language God speaks.

*** Cindi Ends ***

A POEM

Work, that strengthens heart and brain:

 Work, that makes earth bloom again.

Music, bursting, joyous, free,

 Charm of order's melody.

Love, sweet mystic fount within.

 That gushes heaven, and keeps from sin.

Thanks for thy gifts, O God, above:

 The sacred three, Work, Music, Love.

by JHN, September 11, 1856

*** Cindi Starts ***

The guy's awful.

*** Cindi Ends ***

THE MANSION

The three-story red brick Mansion House was begun in 
1861, its towers and decoration reflecting the style of 
the day. Its eventual-200 rooms and 93,000 sq. ft. 
reflected a big family. At the Mansion's center was a 
hall with a stage suitable for evening meetings, plays 
and concerts. Around a central core were family sitting 
rooms and individual or double sleeping quarters.

In 1863 a building for enterprises was added. In 1867 
Oneida boasted, "Beside the central mansion are five 
large buildings, one for a general dining hall, one for 
baking, one for washing by machinery and canning 
fruits, and others for various industries... Whatever 
is required by comfortable livers, to meet present and 
future wants, is in abundance... They have vineyards by 
the acre, raspberries, strawberries, and other small 
fruits, by 10 or 20 acres, and large pear and apple 
orchards. Their barns are as extensive and complete as 
any in the land. There is stabling for over one hundred 
horses and cattle."

The 1869 Children's Wing housed the nursery, school and 
children's entertainment. A Mansion addition in 1877 
accommodated an influx of members.

*** Cindi Starts ***

The Mansion's now a National Historic Landmark with 
condos. Docents explain about Yankee ingenuity and 
college girls get summer jobs wearing high-necked 
dresses and making soap, available in the gift shop. 
Summer hires don't demonstrate complex marriage for the 
onlookers, though you absolutely know that people still 
must sneak in the double rooms, it being fun to re-
enact local history.

Holly and I want to visit. I'm curious about the 
sleeping arrangements. You knew I'd be! In 1867 there 
were 215 residents, 25 of which were under 14. Let's 
say it was an even split, 95 men and 95 women. Remove 
perhaps 20 percent of the latter for being indisposed 
and you still have about 80 pairs. There should be that 
many double rooms.

Did their extensive barns have extensive haylofts for 
summer afternoons? Doing it in the hay is really 
overrated, but it sounds wholesome. Once my brother and 
I got watched by a black and white cow.

*** Cindi Ends ***

DRESS

According to the Handbook, "The short dress has been 
worn by the Community women since the summer of 1848; 
and it is supposed that the style originated at 
Oneida." A woman's costume was a fitted waist, high 
neck adorned with a while collar, long sleeves, and a 
full skirt falling just below the knee. Attire was 
completed by pantalets of the same calico and worsted 
material reaching to the ankle. Braided straw hats 
shaped and trimmed in varied fashion were for social 
occasions. For work they bought Shaker bonnets. 
Community artisans cobbled low-heeled shoes without 
regard to changes of style. Women's hair was short 
according to personal taste.

*** Cindi Starts ***

Go to the Syracuse University Library archive website. 
Find the photographs of fashionable women promenading 
on the Mansion lawn, their starched attire, their pale 
beauty, their propriety. We're not talking about a 
gaggle of frontier scrappers. We're talking about women 
who knew about being ladies.

Look at the feminine figures. Wow! Holly shouldn't 
report what's on the outside without knowing what's on 
the inside. Scientists look under things all the time. 
Here's the scoop.

In 1839, Jean Wearly's corset-making factory made 
sculpted breasts and waist a part of fashion. Slowly it 
became acceptable to picture corsets in magazines. 
There were sleeping corsets, leisure corsets, pregnancy 
corsets, nursing corsets, bathing corsets, even 
horseback riding corsets. The introduction of the 
Singer industrial sewing machine in 1848 made them 
cheap.

The 1860's was the "wasp waist" era. As little as 18 
inches with rounded hips was the look. Lacing required 
either a strong maid or a solid bedpost. The maid would 
pull the laces until the corseted madam could not 
breathe properly. The unassisted lady would tie the 
laces to a bedpost and walk away until compression was 
achieved. The 1867 Thompson Patent Glove-Fitting Corset 
had a spring latch, snaps at the front and traditional 
hooks to prevent it opening accidentally.

A collapsible bustle, manufactured by the Warner 
Brothers (not the Bugs Bunny outfit, though), consisted 
of graduated circular wires attached to a woven 
waistband. When the lady sat down, the wires collapsed 
in a flat layer; when she stood, the series rounded her 
fanny. Thin women added half-round padded circles of 
cloth, tapering at the top and tied with a cord around 
the waist. Corsets were up high in front, breasts 
resting on top. A less-endowed woman could wear a 
series of lace ruffles sewn on a straight band and 
starched to stand up under an outer frilly shirtwaist. 
This reminds me of when I'd stuff Kleenex inside.

The first bra-like device, a metallic monstrosity, was 
patented by Henry S. Lesher of Brooklyn in 1859. Clara 
P. Clark's 1874 fabric "improved corset" had fabric 
breast pockets held up by shoulder straps that 
crisscrossed the back. Olivia P. Flynt's 1876 "bust 
supporter" had shoulder yokes like an ordinary blouse. 
Patent notes indicate that the straps could be made 
thinner and adorned with lace. A double-walled version 
for inserted padding enhanced ones charms. I'd have 
used the double-walled.

So why this history of snaps and strings? Biblical 
Communism didn't preclude advertisement. It's 
Darwinian, our next topic. Come bedtime, the girl's 
chap would have lots of snaps and strings to tackle. As 
things were getting invented so quickly, who knows what 
he'd have next to master?

It wasn't as if they could just dart under the quilt.

*** Cindi Ends ***

SCIENCE

Always on the outlook for enlightenment, Noyes 
entertained the theory of evolution as early as 1854. 
An article by Prof. Agassiz propounding that all 
animals, man included, started existence alike, caused 
the Community much astonishment and laughter.

In 1863 it was admitted that, granting Darwin's 
hypothesis of a tendency towards variation from type, 
"only time was required to develop man out of a 
monkey." To reconcile the Good Book, Noyes threw in, 
"The Bible itself gives an account of a race that dwelt 
on the earth before man was created. It walked upright, 
had speech, was highly ingenious, and was called 'the 
serpent'."

To disseminate such insight, Noyes needed a paper in 
New York City supported by an industrial system, 
unlimited funds and writers equipped in science and 
art. The first step was the removal of The Circular to 
Wallingford, Connecticut and the concentration of the 
best literary talent upon it. The paper's character 
underwent a noteworthy change. Noyes was willing that 
its spiritual character should be "left to work itself 
out in silent ways."

In 1864, Theodore R. Noyes and George E. Cragin, sons 
of the leaders, were sent to Yale to study medicine. 
For ten years, Community students took the place of 
those who graduated. Several young men studied in New 
York City and one was admitted to the bar.

Oneida was visited in 1875 by Prof. Weills, an oculist 
and after some talk the good Professor was invited to 
fit with spectacles those who needed them. After the 
Professor's departure, Mr. Woolworth remarked, "If this 
oculist has humbugged us, he has done it handsomely. He 
has sold us 75 pairs of spectacles, and we have paid 
him $267.50."

*** Cindi Starts ***

As a scientist, I find the promotion of new learnings 
most admirable. A section or two back in Holly's notes, 
I was pretty upset how their bedtime was playing out. 
But seeing Noyes as scientist like myself, I'm less 
willing to pass judgment.

Deciding that the first man-like creatures were 
serpents is not scientific, however. If the snake that 
tricked Eve looked like a person, surely it would have 
had sex with her before sending her to seduce Adam. To 
not get the first virgin ever! The Mormons probably 
have some explanation. Ask one of those boys on 
bicycles, the boys with ties. Some years ago, one was 
held captive by his ex-girlfriend who had pursued him 
from the United States to Britain and he was forced to 
make love to her. It made the news. Females raping 
males really happens. How'd I get off the subject?

*** Cindi Ends ***

WILLIAM MILLS

William Mills joined the Community with his family in 
1857. The terms of admission had been repeatedly 
published: "On the admission of any member all property 
belonging to him or her becomes the property of the 
Association. While a person remains a member, his 
subsistence and education are held to be just 
equivalents for his labor; and no accounts are kept 
between him and the Association, and no claim of wages 
accrues to him in the case of subsequent withdrawal."

Notwithstanding, Mills became discontented and made a 
claim for the property he had brought in, with 
interest. When the Community demurred, he hired a 
lawyer. Rather than go to court, the Community paid.

But after an unsuccessful attempt to form a new 
community in the west, Mills applied for readmission 
and hammered his way back in. This time, it was a woman 
problem. Noyes says, "He had quarreled with the 
Community at first because he could not make a certain 
woman respond to his addresses, and because he could 
not make the Community compel her to do so." Mills 
became a confirmed malcontent.

When man named Lawton likewise filed claim for wages, 
the leaders ruled that the safe course was to have 
every member sign the terms of admission. But Mills 
would not "put himself under law by signing any 
papers." Noyes determined to make a square issue on 
this matter and Mills was ousted from his dishwashing 
job, the women declaring that they would not work with 
him. He fumed and stalled, but finally signed.

In 1864 Mills began to complain about his two daughters 
having been "ruined". Having obtained money from the 
Community under the pretext of urgent business, he 
engaged a lawyer and set damages at $30,000.

Oneida retained Ward Hunt, the best lawyer in Utica, 
afterward appointed to the US Supreme Court, and 
offered to settle for the value of his original 
property in gold, $2,250.

After unsuccessfully attempting to persuade Madison 
County to take up his case, Mills got the suit before 
the Oneida County grand jury. Mills entered the 
courtroom with his deflowered daughters as witnesses. 
To his dismay, there in the jury box sat Ward Hunt. 
Mills withdrew the case, returned his daughters to 
their homes and settled on the Community's terms.

Hunt said afterward that he was never drawn on a grand 
jury before, and probably never would be again. "Just 
another piece of the Community's damned luck," laughed 
a neighbor.

*** Cindi Starts ***

That's $15,000 per ruined daughter, $13,875 if you 
discount his other property. This is about ten times 
what a slave would have auctioned for in the South and 
the Dixie master would have gained both sexual service 
as well as lifetime labor. Mills figures that white 
skin ups the ante, racist pig! His girls weren't 
pregnant, even. Well I'm glad the jury was stacked and 
you better be too.

*** Cindi Ends ***

COMMERCE

The Perfectionists at first tried to support themselves 
by preserving fruits and vegetables, but grew into such 
economic ventures as sawmilling, blacksmithing and silk 
production. But by far their most lucrative venture was 
the production of member Sewell Newhouse's steel beaver 
traps for the Hudson's Bay Company.

A Business Board settled ordinary matters. Every adult 
member, man or woman, had voice and vote. Unanimity was 
the rule of action. When differences developed, action 
was deferred, sometimes for months, until a solution 
was satisfactory to all.

Following the 1862 depression due to the Civil War, 
business boomed. "It is tremendous to think of," writes 
an Oneida journalist, "but we are $715 behind our 
orders for bags." Work was given to women in the 
neighborhood. Local men were hired for farm work and 
teaming and when the trap department was swamped, it 
became necessary to decide whether to go back to self-
reliance, or forward to capitalistic hiring. Oneida 
opted for capitalism.

During the 1864-69 period, a new trap factory was built 
at Sherrill and a new printing office at Wallingford. 
The fruit, bag and job-printing businesses were 
enlarged. Manufacture of ploughs and other agricultural 
implements was commenced. An office was established in 
New York City for the sale of the Community products. 
Silk jobbing, which had been discontinued along with 
the peddling business, was resumed.

The time had come to manufacture silk, instead of 
buying it for resale. A Connecticut manufacturer 
admitted one Community young man and two young women as 
apprentices. On July 30, 1866 before the whole 
Community, the winders and spinners were set in motion. 
Even with heavy expenditure for new buildings, at the 
end of the year the Community owed not a dollar. Within 
another year there were 80 outside silk employees.

Theodore was by now generally acknowledged as leader of 
the rising generation. This brought satisfaction to his 
father, now 55, that the work was not dependent on his 
life alone.

*** Cindi Starts ***

Well, sex and business have always been connected, I 
suppose. Got a TV?

I guess the one thing I see is that Oneida sold traps 
to the Hudson's Bay Company and when we went camping, 
my brother and I had this red and black Hudson's Bay 
blanket. When Dad would say, "Where's that blanket?" 
Mom would find him something else. I think she knew 
that we stashed it up above the trail where we could 
have fun on it.

*** Cindi Ends ***

LABOR AND FINANCES

The household was always on the lookout for mechanical 
devices to lighten the labor. Steam heating was 
introduced, doing away with the care of stoves; and 
ingenious machinery was invented for laundry, 
dishwashing, food preparation, and floor cleaning.

According to literature, "Compulsory labor is neither 
sought nor permitted in the Communities. The aim is to 
make labor attractive, and a means of improvement; and 
this is found compatible with good and industrious 
habits. The members occasionally exchange employments, 
and many who brought a single trade into the society, 
are now equally proficient in many others." Oneida had 
no definite rules restricting the time of rising for 
work, but had few problems with people taking advantage 
of it.

Money was rarely exchanged, but a personal allowance 
was recognized in 1862. The treasurer was instructed to 
pay quarterly to each adult 25 cents, and to each child 
12 1/2 cents to "gratify individual whims, or make 
presents to particular friends." Those not wanting the 
bounty could, of course, give it back. In 1875 an 
annual appropriation of $75 to each man and $40 to each 
woman was adopted to cover clothing and incidentals 
"for the sake of encouraging economy, and giving a 
practical education in money matters to the young." 
Supplies could be obtained through Community channels 
without currency, however, and some members could 
scarcely distinguish one coin from another.

*** Cindi Starts ***

Riddle: How many Victorian virgins did it take to 
change an Oneida light bulb?
Answer: Unknown. Thomas Alva Edison hadn't yet made his 
contribution and John Humphrey Noyes had.

Ever go to a Club Med? Holly and I want to because you 
don't use money and I'm sure I'd find her the perfect 
guy. The diving instructors help you tighten your tanks 
just right. Linda Lowell says first they do the front 
harness. If they think you like it (she says that they 
more-or-less reach inside) then they'll do the straps 
around the top of your thighs. She about lost it when 
he checked to see if it was a finger-width loose on 
each inside. This comes to mind because you don't need 
money at a Club Med.

Keeping the parallel going, life at Oneida was set up 
for getting fondled. Noyes just loved working in the 
kitchen. "In the course of the forenoon yesterday I 
assisted in the following operations: Bringing milk 
from the dairy, making brown bread, making wheat bread, 
making Indian puddings, making fruit pies, heating the 
oven, putting bread, puddings and pie into the oven, 
paring potatoes, dissecting codfish, cooking potatoes 
and codfish, putting potatoes and codfish on the table, 
taking out part of the contents of the oven and putting 
in more.'

You can bet that arms got playfully entangled. And they 
didn't need money because the girls already paid big-
time to join.

And here's another parallel. In the normal course of 
things, before you even realize there's more to happen, 
a brother feels you up a ton. You're on the back of his 
bike and you're not going to hang on? He saves you when 
you almost fall out of the tree house. You're 
wrestling, first time ever on the Hudson's Bay blanket, 
and you protest that he didn't really pin you for the 
full count of three. He has to pin you longer. And you 
don't pay each other money.

So it stands to reason that at Club Med, at Oneida or 
at home, things might be the same later that evening.

*** Cindi Ends ***

MATRIARCH

Mother Noyes departed this perfection for the next in 
1866.

*** Cindi Starts ***

So here's maybe her obituary.

"POLLY HAYES NOYES, 1790-1866, loving companion to sons 
John Humphrey and George, sons-in-law John L. Skinner 
and John R. Miller and acquaintance George Cragin. 
Being in the state of Full Maturity, Mrs. Noyes enjoyed 
allowing Completed Satisfaction to the five 
abovementioned Association leaders."

"*** Cindi Ends ***

HOSPITALITY

The Oneida Community was distinguished for its 
hospitality. In the summer of 1866, 6,000 visitors came 
and the tide was still rising. Ninety-nine meals were 
served during one week to persons of more serious 
purpose. Seventy Oneida Indians were feted on the lawn.

The Visitors' Register covering 5 1/2 years ending in 
1867 contained nearly 16,000 names, and it was 
estimated that this represented only one-third of those 
actually entertained. A boarding house was opened as an 
"outside reception room for the floods and floods of 
visitors" about a quarter of a mile from the Mansion. 
Strangers were freely entertained even for weeks with 
sympathy and kindliness.

After the Midland Railroad was built in 1871, 
excursions of several hundred often came in a single 
day. Community members dropped their work, impromptu 
entertainments were given in the Mansion and the far-
famed Community "dinner without meat" was served to 
all. Vegetables, fruits, cereals and dairy products 
were the staples. No pork was served, and other kinds 
of meat but sparingly.

Visitors were impressed. "Tobacco and ardent spirits 
are not used in the Communities; neither are tea and 
coffee. The members are not Grahamites, yet use little 
meat, preferring fruit and a farinaceous diet. All eat 
in one large hall, at many tables... Rarely have I 
eaten meals so well cooked, so neat and so good. They 
equal, to my taste they excel, those at the best 
hotels."

"They have a fine library, and they take the leading 
daily and weekly newspapers... A handsome hall, 
furnished with chairs and small tables, is occupied by 
the members in the evening, in the same manner that a 
family gathers around the hearth... At each table are 
lamps; the women knit and sew, and I saw a man 
knitting. Meanwhile, one will read a daily paper, or 
letters from friends; or short addresses. Then they 
talk over their affairs. In this way their evenings are 
spent until bedtime."

"They employ no physician, for they need none; no 
lawyer, for they are peaceable; and no preacher, for 
they are perfect... Musical instruments sound through 
the halls. They do not work on Sunday, but they do not 
call the day sacred. They neither baptize, nor partake 
of the sacrament. Their lives are continued worship."

*** Cindi Starts ***

Catch the "not Grahamites"? At least sex never got 
commercially associated with Graham Crackers. Once on a 
camping trip my brother and I were going to fool around 
in our tent after we made s-mores (you know, Graham 
Cracker, marshmallow and Hershey bar), but the idiot 
got himself so sticky that I wouldn't.

"Until bedtime." The writer stops where so much more 
could lend itself to the Victorian prose.

That physician and lawyer bit is misleading. Young 
Theodore and George E. were in medical school and the 
Community regularly engaged attorneys to stay afloat.

*** Cindi Ends ***

ENTERTAINMENT

The Community was far from ascetic. Card playing and 
dancing were favorite amusements and outdoor sports 
were encouraged. From the record: "Two dancing classes 
have been organized, which practise from six to seven 
on alternate evenings... The objections that attach to 
dancing in common society are excluded in the 
Association. No ball dresses, no late hours, wine and 
revelry, no going home in the night air after being 
heated with exercise. As a means of improvement in 
health and grace nothing can be better, and it may be 
made an expression of praise and worship... Dancing 
till eight, music by the brass band till half-past, 
then our evening meeting ended the day."

But there was a problem. "A suspension of the Brass 
Band was proposed and approved with the hearty consent 
of the members. They have made a good beginning, and 
may look forward to future development. Meanwhile let 
there be an ambition to improve the parlor music, and 
carry it to a high perfection."

The boss' fiddling was reviewed, "Mr. Noyes... made up 
in perseverance what he lacked in natural talent. He 
had a ready faculty of understanding and reading music, 
though there was more or less fault in his details and 
execution. He was criticised for his manner of bowing, 
cutting short his notes, etc."

The recreation homes "Joppa" and "Cozicott" afforded 
retreats. Joppa was on the eastern shore of Oneida 
Lake, fronting on a shelving beach of hard clean sand, 
with deep woods in the rear. Cozicott was on the rocky 
Connecticut shore. Parties of a dozen or more succeeded 
each other for a week's enjoyment of boating, bathing, 
hunting, fishing and tramping.

As Oneidans desired to consecrate not merely one-
seventh of their time to God, Sunday was no more sacred 
than the rest of the week. For many years they held a 
Sunday afternoon religious meeting open to the public, 
but they did not scruple to run their workshops 
simultaneously if orders were pressing. Learning that 
this annoyed some of their neighbors, however, they 
discontinued the practice, and the young men were 
advised not to hunt or fish on Sunday. Rides, picnics 
and excursions became features of the Sabbath.

*** Cindi Starts ***

You know why some churches oppose premarital 
intercourse? It might lead to dancing.

Here's my idea of a diary entry by Charity, a younger 
member. Keep in mind that Holly's research is all legit 
and my contribution is off the top of my head.

"July 6, 1865

"George E., Hiram, Theodore, Lucinda, Tirzah and I 
embarked for a Holiday at Joppa. George E. and Theodore 
drove the cart smartly while Hiram entertained us with 
his banjo. Upon arrival we changed into our Bathing 
Costumes. The Lake was exceedingly frigid, however, and 
affected our bosoms in such a manner that we forbade 
the Boys to be in our presence. Afterwards we baked 
potatoes.

"That evening we, the young ladies, had amongst 
ourselves selected each our evening's partner, but the 
young men surprised us with a Plan to which we 
acquiesced. Each of us being blindfolded, the three 
lads interchanged to bring each of us to three 
ecstasies, the male sequence being unknown to us. 
Lucinda, being older, and Tirzah, being notably 
Playful, were well familiar the fathers of Theodore and 
George E., so possessed some idea of Genetic 
Similitude. Hiram, however, being little removed from 
his own Training, was of less-familiar quality. The 
boys, however, upon restoring our sight, professed the 
possibility that each had alone pleased his Favorite in 
three distinct Manners, a Trick within the Frolic done 
to make us Merry. In either possibility, I believe my 
concluding acquaintance was with Hiram because he 
somewhat failed in containment.

"Within the Mansion, of course, Pleasurable 
Satisfactions occur in seclusion. At Joppa, however, 
when only revellers are in Company, it is appropriate 
within the darkened Common Room for intercourses to be 
proximate. In truth it was not at all dark at the time 
of our Socialization, but being blindfolded relieved us 
of concern. Tirzah, as I noted, becomes audibly 
Playful.

"Subsequently rowing upon the Lake, George E. brought 
me to pleasure with his oral facilitude. I protested, 
of course, but only after my Delight. Such Practice is 
discouraged by the older Control Members, but 
recognized to occur on Excursions. In feminine 
retribution, I dexterously brought him to spill his 
seed on my frock. Lucinda later recognized the hue of 
the persistent Remnants and encouraged me to prepare 
myself on next occasion with a handkerchief. Her advice 
proved fortuitous, as both Hiram and Theodore, likely 
having been appraised by George E. of my ministration, 
took me boating to the same Effect. Of course I 
protested, but it being not a Rape, it was to no avail.

"Other diversions included croquet, a evening of 
dramatic recitation, declamations and pantomime and 
Constitutional Walks. Hiram, the three of us agree, is 
a better banjo performer than partner, but then he is 
less practiced. Lucinda gave Hiram instruction under a 
Hudson's Bay blanket during our return. Tirzah, 
however, to playfully disrupt Hiram's concentration, 
bared her corset at Hiram's most difficult moment and 
caused him to expel into Lucinda. Needless to say, the 
older girl was displeasured and criticized Tirzah for 
frivolity and Hiram for laxitude.

"Upon returning to the Community, I volunteered for 
laundry duty, as my frock merited special attention."

And there's their other place. Think of a young lady 
hungrily packing her valise for a holiday. Her 
forbidden fruit would be the pulse of her lover's 
climax. A male might be induced to relax his continence 
in the carefreeness of excursion. To feel his throbs, 
she'd willingly settle for a single orgasm herself. The 
cabin at eveningtide would sing with the sighs of love 
at last completed! She even made up a ditty to share 
with her friends.

 I'll see men's semen

 In my cozy cot at Cozicott.

*** Cindi Ends ***

GOOD TIMES

During Yale's 1867 winter vacation, Theodore started a 
powerful revival among the Oneida young folks. This was 
followed, at his father's suggestion, by a series of 
"Noon Meetings", open to all and lasting throughout the 
summer, in which the religious life of the entire 
Community was powerfully quickened.

In the first half of that year, 50 applications were 
received for membership, mostly from heads of families. 
"Hard spirits retreated; good spirits prevailed and 
rejoiced."

In 1866, Hepworth Dixon, editor of the London Athenaeum 
and author of note, came to gather materials on 
American socialism. He visited the Shakers at New 
Lebanon, the Mormons in Utah, and spent two days at 
Oneida. When his "New America" was printed in 1867, the 
publishers stated that the 55-page account of Oneida 
aroused more interest than any other subject discussed. 
It was essentially a caricature, good-humored, 
tolerant, and charmingly written, letting the Community 
speak from its own publications. The book had a 
successful run in England and America and was 
translated. Appreciative articles appeared in the New 
York Tribune, the New York Herald and the Phrenological 
Journal.

As the crowning event of this banner year, George Noyes 
and Charles S. Joslyn, a younger member who had 
recently been admitted to the bar, were sent as 
representatives to Europe. They were received with 
cordiality by Dixon, placed samples of the Community 
manufactures in the Paris Exposition, and attended a 
meeting held in their honor by the Fourierists. They 
presented copies of the Community publications to the 
British Museum and established agencies for their sale 
in both London and Paris. They were sought three times 
by Lord Houghton, a.k.a. Monkton Milnes, a poet better 
known for hosting breakfasts than his writing. They 
were guests of honor at a dinner attended by the Lord 
Bishop of Gloucester; the Master of the Rolls, the son 
of Earl Russell; the Coroner of London; Mr. Faed, 
painter of Evangeline, and other notables. They placed 
in Dixon's hands a voluminous inquiry by Noyes into the 
causes of the decline of marriage, a document Dixon put 
to use in his next book, !
 "Spiritual Wives". They explained to Professor Huxley 
the Community's method of birth control. Dixon said 
later that Huxley was "one of those who thought it 
desirable to interfere with the natural course of 
things in this respect, and that he was a good deal 
impressed by the experience of the Community." The Lord 
Bishop of Gloucester remarked that the Communists, in 
common with all sects in new countries, made great 
account of the individual, his exercises and 
persuasions; whereas the old world, with its settled 
institutions, regarded the individual as subordinate to 
fixed guidance.

Noyes began to feel that a more liberal membership 
policy could be adopted. "We must not be cowardly about 
taking in new members. When we get our new machinery 
all working, I shall not be afraid to take in a host - 
don't care who they are - good, bad, or indifferent." 
Accordingly, in April 1867, ten persons were admitted, 
a number unprecedented since the days of the first 
ingathering at Oneida.

A 72-page Handbook for inquirers was published and new 
branches were established in New York City, Sherrill 
and New Haven.

*** Cindi Starts ***

We're talking European High Society, though the Coroner 
of London sounds less than celebrity. It was a bunch of 
OBE's who wanted some dirty stories, actually. We know 
the type. When you're little, they want you to sit on 
their lap. "Come and have a sweet, my child." When 
you're older, they want you to sit on their lap. "Do 
you take dictation, my dear?" Either way, they like it 
when you wiggle around. "Why, I do believe you're 
ticklish!"

So George and Charles told these Tories (or whatever 
they were) about the etiquette of training a 14-year-
old. Those bigwigs had done it with their own scullery 
maids plenty, but the American way must have seemed so 
democratic.

The Phrenological Journal? "Young lady, this cranial 
convexity demands an explanation. Lean back in my lap 
while I explore downward for concavities. The key may 
also be in an emerging convexity elsewhere, smaller in 
stature but similar in presentation to my own."

*** Cindi Ends ***

REVERSALS

Once again the spectres of debt and disease menaced. By 
September 1867, the Community owed $81,000. Noyes, as 
usual, drew a spiritual lesson. "We must adopt the 
principle of limiting ourselves in the midst of 
prosperity. I propose that we solemnly submit our 
business and organization to God for pruning."

Theodore, now M.D., was appointed to downsize. The 
Circular was moved back to Oneida, the boarding house 
was closed, the bag and fruit preserving businesses 
were given up, the New York City branch was abandoned 
and various propaganda schemes were subordinated to 
debt retirement.

By January 1869 the Community owed not a dollar and had 
invested $20,000 of surplus in United States bonds. An 
adjacent 125-acre property was added. The Hall & Elton 
factory and water privilege at Wallingford were bought. 
Construction of a dam commenced with the objective of 
enlarging the silk and publishing business. The fruit 
business was revived. The New York City office 
reopened. A portion of the old Mansion structure was 
moved and equipped for a seminary.

The Business Board was no longer in session. Theodore 
appointed young men as department heads who came to him 
separately for consultation. There was talk about 
"putting the older generation on the shelf."

The whole business administration came up for 
discussion in January 1872, when Noyes expressed his 
concern, "We must have more spirituality in our 
business. Theodore is tempted to rely too much on 
ability and financial machinery, and does not 
appreciate the tremendous importance of inspiration... 
Let all the departments offer themselves for criticism, 
and have no irritability about it."

His father's objection was followed by a reorganization 
during which Theodore had a nervous breakdown and went 
to Dansville to recuperate. On his return four months 
later, he did not for several years re-enter the ranks 
of business.

*** Cindi Starts ***

Things get bad. Things get fixed. Things get bad again. 
Things get fixed again. We get it, Holly. Never marry 
an MBA because an MBA paper on Oneida wouldn't catch 
that they liked sex.

*** Cindi Ends ***

STIRPICULTURE

Now a Darwinian, Noyes led the Community into a 
eugenics program he called "stirpiculture". The most 
spiritually ascended followers should mate to produce 
the most spiritual offspring.

Encouragement from D.G. Croly, editor of the New York 
World, legitimized the prospect of scientific 
propagation. In 1868 Noyes published, "We are studying 
Darwin and the Bible on stirpiculture; we intend to 
build the final wing of our Mansion house next summer, 
and give it to the children with the best equipments 
that science can furnish for their training; the 
Community has so far perfected the discipline of its 
affections that it is ready, as with one heart, for a 
faithful trial of the experiment of rational breeding."

The resulting experiment extended from 1869 to 1879. 
Resolutions were signed by 38 young men and 53 young 
women to put aside selfish claims and enter upon this 
venture. An informal committee of Central Members 
presided over the proceedings, but later an organized 
Stirpicultural Committee was placed in charge.

During a typical period of 15 months, out of 51 
applications from men and women desiring to become 
parents, nine were vetoed on grounds of unfitness. The 
Stirpicultural Committee occasionally took the 
initiative to bring about combinations it deemed 
specially fit.

Sixty-two children were born under this system, none 
deaf, dumb, blind, idiotic or tubercular. Of 58 
surviving birth, four had died by 1920. According to 
the mortality tables, these four deaths compare with 
16.4 in rural United States, 20.1 in the total nation 
and 21.4 in New York.

Noyes retained enough spiritual energy to participate 
in the experiment; after his 58th birthday he fathered 
eight children.

*** Cindi Starts ***

Finally were back to something interesting: breeding. 
I'm more into the how-to than the outcome, of course. A 
long time ago, the Church thought we had to do a bad 
thing to achieve a necessary result. With the school 
nurse passing out free birth control, kids today see it 
as doing a fun thing to get no result.

Presumably by 1869, everybody had slept with everybody 
hundreds of times, but at last the chosen males now get 
to ejaculate. Those 38 could finally relax. But I'll 
bet the 53 females kept sneaking in unqualified males, 
since these were the guys who'd last an hour. Why did 
the 53 still go four or five years between pregnancies? 
The inseminators just weren't as fun.

How much, if any, of the lowered mortality was due to 
eugenics, and how much to conditions after conception? 
Who's to say?

And, surprise upon surprise, here's old John Humphrey 
still pumping away in his "merry damsels", as he called 
them. He's one of 38 on the firing range and he gets 
eight of the 62 bulls-eyes. Really good sperm, you 
think? How about getting to cut to the front of the 
line a bunch.

*** Cindi Ends ***

CHILD REARING

Noyes proclaimed that children "belonged to God and the 
Community" and that "philoprogenitive" bonds formed 
within traditional families were selfish. Don't worry 
about paternity. "Bastardy, in any disastrous sense of 
the word, is simply impossible in such a social state. 
Whoever will take the trouble to follow our track from 
the beginning, will find no forsaken women or children 
by the way."

According to the Handbook, "During the period of 
nursing, the mother devotes herself to her child as 
much as she pleases; has a room to herself, and 
assistants, if she wishes. When the child is weaned, 
say at the age of a year or fifteen months, it is 
placed in the general nursery or children's 
department... Children remain in this establishment 
under the care of men and women selected for their 
skill in managing the young, till the age of twelve or 
fourteen. The smallest children eat in the nursery at a 
table by themselves. The rest eat at the general table 
with the family."

The Children's Wing had complete charge. Attention was 
given to "diet, clothing, sanitation, and profitable 
activity." Since epidemic diseases were vigilantly 
excluded, sickness was rare.

But possessive love had to be stamped out at the 
earliest opportunity. Even the tender affection for a 
special doll had to be burned away. One girl's 
autobiography recounts marching to the oven door with 
her "long-cherished favorite" in her arms, then staring 
as the flames consumed it.

*** Cindi Starts ***

I can't even pronounce that "p" word. If I have a kid, 
it's my kid. Period. Same for Holly. We'll be "aunties" 
for each other's.

And my Raggedy Anne, I'd never burn up. She's where 
we've always kept the rubbers. Being grown up and all, 
I could just keep them in my dresser, but my brother 
likes pretending like old times. Me too.

Here's one maybe the girls jump-roped to:

Mr. Noyes' notion,

 Of perfected motion,

Can hold back an ocean,

 Of man's virile lotion.

In school we do mention,

 Our father's invention,

For feminine tension,

 Assures us ascension.

We'll burn up our toys,

 Shun sex with the boys,

For instruction in joys,

 Beneath Mr. Noyes.

Probably the boys were scared to death of Charlotte 
Miller. If they didn't please her, she could relegate 
them to some flabby spinster who'd never get any 
invitations otherwise. "So the thing is, Enos, Tirzah's 
ma will pull you up against her and she's really, 
really hairy, so you have to make sure you keep rubbing 
up against the front part because that's where she has 
this little place that likes it."

*** Cindi Ends ***

HEALTH

In September 1863, diphtheria gained entrance to the 
Community when Stephen Pearl Andrews was visiting. 
Noyes, who was away, returned to hear of two deaths as 
he stepped from the train, and found Andrews beguiling 
the Community with a course on "universology". 
According to Noyes's sister Harriet, "We needed Mr. 
Noyes's wisdom and sincerity to save us from the 
sorceries of Mr. Andrews as much as from the 
diphtheria."

There were 60 cases in the Community during this 
epidemic, of which five were fatal. But as no deaths 
occurred after the introduction of mutual criticism and 
ice, the diphtheria campaign was regarded as a victory 
of mixed means. Should the Community should go back to 
a simple faith treatment of disease, or forward to 
scientific aids.

Noyes' answer regarding science, "Yes, if the use is 
inspired. Inspiration is the fire, and natural means 
are the fuel. We must not pile on so much wood as to 
choke the fire... When the furnace is going with a 
roar, we can throw in bushels and cartloads of fuel, 
and it will take all without being smothered."

Malaria attacked Wallingford in 1871. When 17 members 
(about half that family) were stricken at once, Noyes 
put the seven worst sufferers aboard the train for 
Oneida. Disembarking at nightfall, they learned that 
their telegram had miscarried and no one was there to 
meet them. Noyes could only find an omnibus drawn by 
mules that had just returned from the Community with a 
load of girls. The driver being too tired to make a 
second trip, Noyes climbed on the box himself. 
"Imagine," exclaimed one of the invalids, "mules, tired 
with their day's work, going the opposite way from 
their stables, with no whip!"

In the summer of 1872, Harriet Skinner was taken 
dangerously ill. Noyes advised Theodore and George E. 
that while he wanted to learn about the physical 
aspect, there was a mental and spiritual side needing 
treatment first. He was going to fire at the wild 
beasts that were tearing his sister and expected to hit 
them. Her fever left, another testimony to God's power.

Theodore was sent to investigate the Turkish bath, just 
coming into vogue. A small experimental bath to Noyes 
was a new and hopeful weapon against fever and ague. 
"In our battle with diphtheria, we used criticism and 
ice. Why not now use criticism and the Turkish bath?" 
Many surprising cures were reported.

*** Cindi Starts ***

Science is the perception of pattern that exists. 
Superstition is the perception of pattern that doesn't.

How about homeopathy where you dilute a toxin so much 
that there'd not be a statistical molecule left, but 
the water remembers and makes you better? We're pretty 
much as dumb today as they were back then. I use the 
dilution bit to teach about Avogadro's Number, how many 
molecules there are in so many grams. If they call it 
Avocado's Number on the quiz, at least they got the 
idea about a big number.

I don't know about Turkish baths, but I've tried 
Jacuzzis. Hot water makes it difficult for some guys, 
but it's a fun place to get naked anyway. The bubbles 
make it sort of peek-a-boo.

*** Cindi Ends ***

THEODORE'S CANDIDACY

September 1874 saw the death of Noyes' sister Charlotte 
A. Miller, more than 20 years the adviser to the 
younger women. That responsibility now fell to Ann 
Bailey Hobart, a younger member. The position afforded 
Ann power in sexual pairings, her reputation among the 
women becoming that of a "ruthless intriguer".

In 1875, Noyes went to Wallingford, leaving William 
Woolworth as "father" of the family. Woolworth, past 
50, was disinclined to rule in the affairs of the 
younger generation. When Ann came for help, he begged 
to be excused. Finally Ann suggested that Noyes appoint 
Theodore to the position.

But as Theodore was an agnostic, the implications 
occupied six evenings. Extracts from the addresses give 
the salient points:

Charles S. Joslyn: "In regard to Theodore: First... I 
have never even once heard him mention the name of God 
or Christ or faith. Second, that in considering whether 
persons are suitable for certain places he wholly 
ignores their spiritual character."

Harriet H. Skinner: "I should feel safe with Theodore 
at the head. In a practical test he does not follow his 
own theories, but acts out Community faith... He is in 
the constant habit of prayer himself, not to God by 
name but to the highest spirit in the universe. His 
confession the other night of a desire to serve others 
was a signal to me."

William A. Hinds: "It is natural and proper that we 
should have a somewhat special interest in Mr. Noyes's 
children; but in my opinion it is wrong, wholly wrong, 
that relationship should have any influence in 
determining such a question as this... Loyalty to Mr. 
Noyes is loyalty to his spirit, and not to his flesh 
and blood. It does not follow at all that Mr. Noyes 
will transmit his spirit, and especially his divine 
commission, to his children."

There was more to it than theology, however. Theodore's 
infatuation with Ann undermined confidence in his 
ability to lead.

Theodore's father's reproached, "Who does not see that 
here was the beginning of Theodore's worship of Ann and 
the beginning of her spiritual supremacy? It is easy to 
trace the process by which she mastered him. Nothing is 
so flattering to a spiritual man to have an attractive 
woman become his convert and shine forth with him as 
his bright particular star... Her phrenology is of the 
Bailey type, strong in the love of power and weak in 
conscience and veneration."

The nomination of Theodore was withdrawn.

*** Cindi Starts ***

This is getting heavy! As noted at the start, George 
Bernard Shaw wrote about Oneida. Shaw also wrote 
"Pygmalion" which became "My Fair Lady" where Prof. 
Henry Higgins sings, "Let a woman in your life!" Just 
read this next paragraph, what historians have to wade 
through when that happens.

"In the latter part of 1874 Frank and Helen were in 
love and trying for a child. Ann was at this time 
laying her nets for complete control over Theodore. The 
fact that Theodore loved Cornelia and had had a child 
with her provided him with a social outlet which 
interfered with her plans. She therefore brought it 
about that Frank's trials with Helen were broken off, 
and trials with Cornelia, resulting in the birth of 
Gerard a year later, were commenced."

I totally give up on who was screwing who, other than 
Frank and Theodore were doing Helen, Cornelia and Anne. 
Basically what's going on is like some stupid soap 
opera where maybe Shakespeare could work it out. Not 
me.

Phrenology of the Bailey type! Skull shape correlated 
with protracted orgasms, he suspects.

Where I come out is that Anne was one bitch, not who'd 
I want scheduling my sex life. A girl like me would 
have found so many better places to enjoy the 1800's. 
Maybe Dodge City. Certainly San Francisco.

*** Cindi Ends ***

SPIRITUAL SALVATION

The "rapping" phenomena had appeared in Rochester and 
popular excitement on the subject of communication with 
the dead was running high. The death of Mary Cragin 
brought a desire to communicate with her.

Noyes urged, "The... sphere of Christ, the apostles, 
and the 144,000 gathered to Christ at his second 
coming, is to us the ascending fellowship. But Hades, 
the sphere of the miscellaneous dead, is the descending 
fellowship. Hades is to this world as woman is to man. 
Its only advantage over us is the advantage of 
weakness... The first step will be the coming up of the 
world of the dead into conjunction with us; then the 
two worlds will move along together into the 
resurrection sphere."

Noyes authorized his son to undertake a thorough 
investigation of spiritualism in the hope that it would 
bring him back to a belief in immortality. Theodore 
took up the study with enthusiasm, held s‚ances, 
visited celebrated mediums and accepted the phenomena 
as sufficient evidence. He believed that an 
intelligence higher than either him or his father would 
lead to unity.

Noyes was pleased. "In a normal spiritual education 
there is first a process of external instruction; then 
there is a breaking up and separation from this 
external process; and finally there is a turning from 
an outward to an inward knowledge. Theodore has been 
passing through these different stages... If my 
estimate is correct, he is going to be far more 
effectually joined to me, and far more competent to 
help me in my work than he would have been without this 
experience."

*** Cindi Starts ***

Noyes wanted to keep screwing Mary Cragin, even if she 
was just a visiting spirit. He didn't need the 
reciprocal motion.

Noyes: "Son, go see if Mrs. Cragin's back."

Medium: "Come, our departed dearest Mary."

Theodore: "The table trembles!"

Medium's Assistant: "I bumped it reaching for his 
thigh."

Medium: "The cloth rises!"

Theodore: "Can she see under the table?"

Medium's Assistant: "Not you. She means the lever under 
the tablecloth."

Medium: "Behold such rapping sound!"

Theodore: "Oh my!"

Medium's Assistant: "Am I stroking too fast? He's 
bouncing his chair."

Medium: "A voice calls out!"

Theodore: "I'm going to come."

Medium's Assistant: "Through his voice the departed 
Mary bids herself present."

Medium: "We yield to her invisible presence!"

Theodore: "I shouldn't have worn white trousers. The 
spot will be visible."

Medium's Assistant: "That's why we keep it dim in 
here."

Then later,

Theodore: "Father, Sir, I did indeed sense the touch of 
Aunt Mary. An intelligence higher than father and son 
leads us to such commonality of manifestation."

John Humphrey: "Surely a spiritual plantation would be 
allowed. Containment only applies to relations with 
earthly acquaintances."

*** Cindi Ends ***

PRODIGAL SON

As 1875 drew toward its close and Theodore was co-
operating heartily with his father, Theodore's role was 
reassessed.

William A. Hinds: "I felt some hesitation about the 
plan as it was represented to me today, but as I 
understand it now, the question is altogether different 
from what it was last winter. Theodore comes to us now 
as the representative and mouthpiece of his father to 
help reorganize the business as his own."

James W. Towner: "I sincerely believe that Mr. Noyes is 
the best business man in the Community. As to the 
question of Theodore's co-operation with him, I will 
say frankly that, if I were to judge Theodore by his 
communication last spring... I should feel a good deal 
of distrust and anxiety. But I am highly pleased with 
what Mr. Noyes says about Theodore, and I have so much 
confidence in his inspiration to believe that he knows 
whether it is best, and how far it is best, to use 
Theodore in the reorganization and control of the 
business."

The ayes were unanimous.

The first venture to engage the new administration was 
the newspaper. The Circular had 800 subscribers, of 
whom nearly 700 took advantage of the free terms. Frank 
Wayland-Smith noted that the Shakers had a subscription 
list of four or five thousand, and suggested that steps 
be taken to extend The Circular's circulation. To this 
end The Circular was succeeded by The American 
Socialist, a paper designed to become the organ not 
merely of Oneida, but of Socialists everywhere.

About 20 persons were left at Wallingford "to wait for 
something to turn up." Something did turn up almost 
immediately. Theodore proposed that the Wallingford 
Community enter the manufacture of spoons. Charles 
Cragin was placed in charge. This business carries over 
into the silverware business that survives today as 
Oneida, Ltd.

*** Cindi Starts ***

And these days we hardly have socialists in America. 
It's what happens when you sell out. Who gives a hoot 
about who owns the Post Office? Perfectionists surely 
didn't care.

So do the folks who make that silverware still sleep 
together? Nope, they're just a corporation looking for 
tax breaks.

I got Holly an Oneida teaspoon on the Internet for a 
show-and-tell when she gives her paper.

"Now I know none of you can see this little spoon from 
where you're sitting and I'm not going to pass it 
around. But keep in mind that when the first one of 
these was made, the Community members were all having 
sexual intercourse together. While we in the NEA have 
passed no resolution regarding the matter, 
deconstructional analysis suggests that the arbitrary 
values of that era were challenged. Thank you."

Before I gave it to her, I showed it to my brother and 
than mixed some sugar into his ice tea with it. I had 
our old Hudson's Bay blanket on the grass already.

*** Cindi Ends ***

THAT HANDY INTERNATIONAL BORDER

In 1878 there were 306 members, Oneida having absorbed 
another free love commune. The new Oneidans engaged in 
factional struggle with younger members who wanted 
things less eccentric. Some members wanted to hold onto 
Noyes' leadership; others didn't. Guys were asking for 
sex not through the proper channels. The fabric of 
community was fraying.

In June 1879, when authorities came to arrest him for 
mass rape of little girls, Noyes fled to Canada. 
Perfectionist Oneida had lost its justification for 
existence. Wife whipper Henry Seymour was one of the 
handful of loyalists who followed Noyes northward.

In fear of prosecution for unorthodox sexual practices, 
many members quickly married. A committee was appointed 
"to consider the advisability of re-organizing upon a 
joint-stock basis." On January 1, 1881, the Community 
formally replaced its communistic economic arrangements 
with Oneida Community, Limited to manage the assets.

*** Cindi Starts ***

We always hear how Canada is so great, not getting into 
pointless wars, having socialized medicine, letting 
homosexuals marry, speaking French, making those 
blankets and calling their Indians "First Nations". So 
if they were so enlightened, why'd they grant asylum to 
Mr. Child Molester Noyes?

*** Cindi Ends ***

R.I.P.

"JOHN HUMPHREY NOYES, the founder of Oneida Community, 
died at Niagara Falls, in Canada, last Tuesday. He was 
in the 75th year of his age, having been born September 
8, 1811. The public generally have been inclined to 
look upon Noyes as naturally depraved and wicked, like 
Brigham Young and some of his confreres in Mormondon, 
but there is good reason to believe that the Community 
leader started his peculiar system under the influence 
of what he deemed religious conviction. He was educated 
for the ministry and preached for some time in one of 
the orthodox denominations, but he early took up the 
idea of 'perfection,' as illustrated in the workings of 
Oneida Community, and what religion he had was 
shipwrecked. Since he was driven out by the raid of the 
ministers in 1879, he had resided at Niagara Falls with 
his wife, a sister, and a few friends. Besides his 
wife, he leaves one legitimate son, Dr. Theodore Noyes, 
of New York City."

The Roman Citizen newspaper, Oneida County, April 13, 
1886

The Noyes family tree shows John Humphrey as father to 
11 by his wife Harriet and one by Harriet Worden. Mrs. 
Worden is the member who wrote the memoir about 
throwing her doll in the fire.

*** Cindi Starts ***

If you hadn't read Holly's notes, this obit wouldn't 
mean much, right? Any of you want them to use the 
adjective "legitimate" to differentiate your offspring? 
As we already read, Mrs. Noyes was "was free from the 
marriage spirit" too.

Holly also said that John Humphrey fathered eight after 
age 58, so I'm not sure what the Noyes genealogists 
want to count. You know how they're using DNA to figure 
out what Thomas Jefferson got going with his slave girl 
Sally Hernings? Presidents! Oneida would be a tougher 
one.

Who do to suppose old John Humphrey's last sex was 
with? A guy like him would still be able at 75. The 
answer is Harriet. Both his wife and sister were named 
that. Maybe Harriet Worden went to Canada too.

*** Cindi Ends ***

WHAT THE EXPERT SAYS

It's always good to ask the expert. Here's a compressed 
excerpt from Nelson M. Blake, Professor of History, 
Syracuse University

"Noyes himself deserves more respectful treatment as a 
writer and thinker than he has usually received. 
However wrong-headed some of his ideas may appear... 
Noyes could fight with the weapons of theology, quoting 
Biblical verses to support every point and haggling 
over the definition of each item. He could also resort 
to the would-be prophet's favorite secret weapon, the 
claim of direct revelation from God... He exalted human 
intelligence... Indeed, this prideful reliance upon 
reason may have been his downfall, insofar as he 
carried his rejection of conventional morality to 
extremes that were logical enough but left out of 
account the deep-rootedness of human institutions.

"In his day - and probably in our own as well - there 
were all too many loveless and tyrannical marriages, 
too many women broken in health through excessive 
childbearing, too many babies brought into the world by 
shiftless couples unable to care for them properly, and 
too many children spoiled through parental indulgence. 
On these and scores of less explosive issues Noyes was 
a keen observer of society."

*** Cindi Starts ***

Prof. Blake is pretty smart. Not that he knows 
anything, maybe (how would we know?), but because he 
found something fun to research. I get a raise if I get 
a Master's.

"Dear Prof. Blake,

"I am interested in doing research in complex marriage. 
Would I do a practicum? I would prefer one in which 
males refrained from ejaculation.

"Yours truly,

"Cindi Barton"

*** Cindi Ends ***

A COUPLE OF ENDNOTES

In one of Oneida's quagmire of court cases, a young 
member found the atmosphere uncongenial and demanded 
$9,150 for $150 of property put in and $1,500 per year 
for six years of wages. A month after his succession, 
his father wrote the Community, "I did not for a moment 
suppose that he had any idea of attempting the absurd 
project of extorting money from the Community... I did 
however discover, before I parted with him at the 
depot, that he had what appeared to me a fearfully 
wicked spirit, and thought that I should not be 
surprised to hear that he had committed a fearful 
crime, which would land him in the penitentiary, or 
some worse place."

The would-be extortionist denounced Oneida as a 
"spiritual and social despotism... constantly violating 
the most sacred laws of God and Man," and calling upon 
"Merchants, the Press, Bench and Pulpit" to unite in 
"wiping it out." The call failed. The young man was 
Charles Jules Guiteau, afterwards the assassin of James 
A. Garfield, President of the United States.

*** Cindi Starts ***

He should have deducted from his claim $1 for twice a 
week for six years, $624 for services received. And 
another $3.57 if he got a pair of Prof. Weills' 
spectacles.

Guiteau shot the wrong leader, don't you think? 
Garfield didn't deflower young women, no more than 
other Presidents, anyway. JFK, as a Catholic, would 
have never told them it was for Jesus.

*** Cindi Ends ***

TIRZAH MILLER

Niece Tirzah Miller was John Humphrey's favorite sexual 
partner, one generation down, but she liked variety. 
Cindi stuck Tirzah in her lake-excursion diary to get 
her introduced. Tirzah's memoir tells of her doubts 
about Noyes, always soothed by prayer so that she would 
continue within the Community. She was a hot item 
criticized for her sexual prowess. Uncle George 
fathered her first child without the sanction of his 
brother. (Lost in the family tree? OK, once more. 
Tirzah's mom was Charlotte Miller, one of John 
Humphrey's and George's sisters.)

Homer Barron criticized Tirzah's style, "The position 
she sustains in the Community, her relationship to you 
& your family, and the fact that she is a very 
attractive woman, makes it very difficult for an 
ordinary man to control the relation, and it seemed to 
me that she desired very close relations."

"N", who may be Noyes himself, confirmed, "She liked to 
be in a romantic kind of love with somebody -- worldly 
marriage romance; getting a man to loving her so that 
it is next to impossible to separate them -- so that 
when separation comes they go nearly crazy -- and that 
she rather enjoyed that kind of domination over man."

Tirzah wrote about her effort to avoid "special love" 
analogous to marriage, her quarrels with Noyes and her 
serial liaisons. Tirzah chronicled Noyes' suggestions 
for improving Community life with live sex performed 
during the religious meetings, a plan never 
implemented.

*** Cindi Starts ***

My kind of girl! Neither Perfectionists nor Catholics 
believe in reincarnation, but maybe there's something 
to it. The reason I know were the same is that we both 
go to church, we both like guys, but neither Tirzah nor 
I would think it should happen during a service.

*** Cindi Ends ***

THE END

****

Holly on the Web

Wherever you found this story on the web, thank you to 
the server. My problem is that I've no systematic way 
to update the various servers. As literary errors (or 
just poor word usages) are made know to me, I'll repair 
that which is salvageable on 
http://www.asstr.org/~Holly_Rennick/. My website's not 
much graphically, I admit, but HTML isn't my native 
language.

You can contact me via the site's message form, that 
HTML code by the smart people at ASSTR.

I won't be changing the story significantly, so if you 
didn't like it before, that much will remain the same. 
But if you did like it, an update may read a bit more 
cleanly.

Holly

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Please keep this story, and all erotic stories out of
the hands of children. They should be outside playing
in the sunshine, not thinking about adult situations.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Kristen's collection - Directory 26