("`-''-/").___..--''"`-._
`6_ 6 ) `-. ( ).`-.__.`)
(_Y_.)' ._ ) `._ `. ``-..-'
_..`--'_..-_/ /--'_.' ,'
(((' (((-((('' ((((
K R I S T E N' S C O L L E C T I O N
_________________________________________
WARNING!
This text file contains sexually explicit
material. If you do not wish to read this
type of literature, or you are under age,
PLEASE DELETE THIS FILE NOW!!!!
_________________________________________
Scroll down to view text
Archive name: how2.txt (FF, rom, exh, toys, college)
Authors name: Rogue Writer (roguewriter@hotmail.com)
Story title : How I Spent My Summer Vacation
by Carol Hitchcock - Part 2
--------------------------------------------------------
This work is copyrighted to the author © 2004. Please
don't remove the author information or make any changes
to this story. You may post freely to non-commercial
"free" sites, or in the "free" area of commercial sites.
Thank you for your consideration.
--------------------------------------------------------
How I Spent My Summer Vacation by Carol Hitchcock -
Part 2 (FF, rom, exh, toys, college)
by Rogue Writer (roguewriter@hotmail.com)
***
A college student tries to break up with her girlfriend
and ends up having a life-changing experience.
***
CHAPTER 7: THINGS COULD ALWAYS BE WORSE...
The four of us were in the Jacuzzi the next morning and
the topic was suicide. We got on the subject after
smoking a joint and hearing Isobel open up about it.
She had considered suicide during high school and
planned to hang herself.
"Hanging yourself, ugh," Kim said, "I couldn't do it
that way, slowly choking to death. Suffocation scares
me."
"No, I thought it happened quick," Isobel said, "I
heard your neck breaks before anything else, right?"
"I think that depends," I interjected, "on how far you
fall before it catches you. When they used to hang
people in the Old West they'd fall through a trap door
and drop a few feet until the rope caught, which broke
the neck. If you just kick a chair out from under you
it'll strangle you until you're dead."
Isobel had a pained look on her face; obviously she now
had another reason to be glad she didn't go through
with it. The first reason put an arm around her
shoulder and hugged her. Kim looked over at me with a
smile. "Well thank you Doctor Scully."
"What's your problem, slut?" I asked.
"You're awfully up on your death knowledge there,
whorebag. Guess I should be careful in case you want me
out of your life." Her last words made me just stare at
her. Kim looked over at Isobel and Maria. "Now if I
wanted to do myself in, I'd get in a bathtub full of
warm water and cut my wrists open."
"Why would you do it like that?" Maria asked.
"Well first of all it's not too painful, you just wait
to pass out from losing too much blood. And second, if
people hurt me enough to make me want to commit
suicide, I'd be getting back at them when they walked
in to find a big, bloody mess in the bathroom."
The three of us just sat there and stared at Kim. Her
eyes stared off to some faraway place, and I just knew
she was imagining how she'd love to do that to her
parents.
"Jesus Kim," I said, snapping her out of her vicious
dream. "What?" she asked.
"You. Blood, revenge...and you said I was morbid."
Kim smiled. "Guess I just have to always go over the
top."
The four of us ate some breakfast, or lunch by then,
and went out to the beach. Electric jolts of excitement
coursed through my body as I once again walked topless
in the open air, surrounded by people. Today I was much
more comfortable with it, my inhibited side had had its
fear fit yesterday, leaving only my naughty side to
enjoy the situation. The feeling of the sun and wind on
my bare breasts was making me wet and I had to fight
the urge to touch myself. I also had to stop myself
when I was spreading suntan lotion on my breasts and I
kept doing it to the point where I was practically
playing with them. We went into the water for a little
while and had some drinks at the open-air bar again.
Isobel and Maria went home to get ready for that night
and Kim and I went back to the house to do the same.
When I got out of the shower I found a beautiful dress
lying on the bed. I thought I knew everything in Kim's
wardrobe, so I picked it up and held it in front of me
in the mirror just to check it out. It was a bone
white, one shoulder piece that came well above the
knee. In the mirror I saw Kim walk into the room.
"This is going to look killer on you," I said.
"No it's not," Kim said. "I got it for you."
I stared at her for a moment and then put the dress
back on the bed. "Kim...I appreciate this and all, but
I can't take it."
"Why not?"
"You're already paying for this trip, and for me to go
see my parents. That's too much already. This dress
looks expensive."
Kim rolled her eyes, "What's expensive to me? C'mon
fuckwad, I wanted to get you something that you'd look
really nice in 'cause I'm sick of seeing you in
discount fashion. Just put it on and take a look."
I humored her and put it on. She gave me a pair of
white two-inch heel sandals and (it wouldn't be Kim
without it) a gold armband to go along with the gold
anklet and toe ring set she'd given me last month. When
I stood up for her to look her eyes bulged out.
"I always tell you you're beautiful and you never
believe me," Kim said, "now go look in the mirror." I
did and what I saw made me stop and stare. Kim walked
up behind me. "Even you can tell now, can't you? See
what the right clothes can do?"
I posed and smiled. "Wow."
Maria and Isobel picked us up and after dinner we went
to the lesbian club they'd told us about. As we found a
table, I looked around and noticed the place was bigger
than I thought it would be. I wasn't sure if that would
work with my plan.
My plan. It was becoming harder and harder for me to go
through with this. After letting her pay for this trip,
the dress, saying 'I love you'. It wasn't that I was
afraid she was going to think I was taking advantage of
her anymore, I felt my plan was so perfect none of that
would be a problem. But part of me was starting to
regret what it was going to do to her. I worried about
hurting her feelings. To tell you the truth, I wasn't
as worried about me saying 'I love you' as I was about
her saying it, because it meant she really felt it.
But deep down I knew I had to do it. Kim was a big
problem in my life whether she loved me or not. I
wanted to graduate from college and she had become an
obstacle. This was the way it had to be. So I started
out with saying, "That was really shitty the way you
treated your mom earlier."
Kim looked down at the table, but I could already see
the anger building in her face. "That's because you
don't have to live with her."
"No. But I do have to watch you treat your parents like
shit."
Kim looked me in the eye. "Why the hell are you
bringing this up now?"
"Because I got so angry hearing you talk to your mom
and I realized how long I've wanted to say something
about it." Out of the corner of my eye I saw Maria and
Isobel quietly get up from the table and move out onto
the dance floor. Kim looked down again as I continued.
"From what I've seen they're willing to do anything for
you, give you anything you need"
When Kim looked up at me I could see the rage in her
eyes. "And they're always telling me what to do too,
trying to tell me how I should live my life!"
"Hello! That's every parent, at least the good ones.
You know how many friends I had back home whose parents
didn't give a shit about them? Right now most of them
are in jail or belong there." Kim turned away. I could
almost feel her seething rage from across the table
like it was a physical force. She was trying to keep it
bottled up, which was very unlike her. I had expected
more yelling and screaming by now. But then I realized
she didn't want to explode at the one she loved.
That thought almost stopped me from going through with
it. I felt the guilt welling up inside, ready to step
in and calm her down by apologizing for what I'd said,
wanting to soothe her and hold her and tell her
everything would be okay. That would have been what
happened if a waitress from the bar hadn't walked by,
reminding me of the waitress from the diner. Suddenly I
realized I had to look out for myself as well. I shut
my eyes tight and thought of anything that would push
my 'Kim guilt' away.
My parents.
Safeway Mart.
The waitress.
I opened my eyes. It was time to seal the deal. "I bet
my friends would give anything to have parents like
yours."
And the bottle cap blew off. "You have no idea what
you're talking about!" Kim had screamed so loud at me
that even with the dance music blaring some people
around us stopped and stared. I felt some spittle from
her hitting me in the face as she spoke. "You don't
understand how much they expect from me! What they want
from me!"
"God forbid they should ask for anything in return!"
"Then maybe I should start expecting things back from
you too!" Kim screamed.
Bingo. I gave her an angry look. "If that's the way you
want it," I said, "I'll give you as much money as I
can. Just don't expect anything else." I got up and
walked away from the table.
All the way to the bar I hoped against hope that she
wouldn't follow me to try and make up. There were two
things left to chance in my plan, the first being that
her anger would overpower her urge to make up quickly.
Sure, she'd probably try to patch things up tomorrow,
but by then it would be too late, as long as the second
part left to chance worked. I sat at the bar and when
the bartender came up I didn't order a drink. I waited
and waited, but nothing happened. Most of the bar
stools were taken, but it seemed like everyone there
was with someone. Worry started to creep into my body,
and it took everything I had to resist the urge to turn
around and see what Kim was doing. But I reminded
myself that I needed patience in order for this to work
out right, just like I needed to take some chances too.
It paid off because a few minutes later the bartender
came up and said someone wanted to buy me a drink. She
pointed at the end of the bar and when the girl waved
my eyes almost fell out. She looked like a model from
an L.L. Bean catalogue- the gorgeous, healthy looking
girl next door. I estimated her age to be late
twenties. Her chestnut brown hair spilled past her
shoulders and her skin had the slightest hint of a tan.
Best of all, she had those big, luscious Angelina Jolie
sized lips that begged to be kissed. Jesus, Kim was on
the mark about the right clothes.
I ordered the drink as I felt my stomach tighten and my
throat dry up. When the bartender served me I downed
half of it to solve the problem and walked over to my
admirer. She turned away from the bar as I walked up
and flashed me a set of perfect teeth.
"Hey there," she said.
"Hey. Thanks for the drink."
"It was the least I could do for exposing me to your
beauty."
I'd never felt so self-conscious in my life. Here was
this beautiful creature telling me I was beautiful. I
was so caught off guard I couldn't speak. She broke out
in laughter.
"Wow," she said, "I've never seen a whole body blush
before! I guess that line really works. Some guy used
it on me and I couldn't tell if he was cheesy or just
the line, so I figured I'd try it out. Must have been
him." She smiled again. "But I really do think you're
beautiful, otherwise I'd have never tried it on you.
Best thing to walk into this place in a long time. I'm
Gwen, by the way."
"Carol."
"You want to go someplace a little more quiet?"
"Sure."
I snuck a quick peek as we walked and noticed that
Maria and Isobel were back at the table with Kim, but
they weren't looking in our direction. Gwen led me to a
door with a bouncer in front of it. They exchanged nods
and the bouncer opened the door, revealing a staircase
going up. The room at the top had a bar on the right
wall and three sets of couches and stuffed chairs
around small tables. Two women occupied only one of
them. To the left there was a wall-to-wall window
looking down on the rest of the club. We sat near the
window, but the blaring music was barely audible. After
a waitress came up and took our drink orders I asked,
"Who do you have to know to get up here?"
"It's not who you know," Gwen said, "but what you
have." Great, she was a rich girl. How long would she
want to be with me when she found out I was dirt poor?
Under the table I felt her bare leg slide up and take
residence against mine. "So, this your first time in
Rio?"
"Is it that obvious?"
"I've been here three years and I haven't seen you
before tonight. Besides, I figure a sophisticated
looking lady such as yourself would have made it up
here before if this wasn't your first time."
I tried hard not to react to being called
sophisticated. "Must be great. Living here, I mean."
Gwen shrugged. "It's okay. Like anything it loses it's
shine after a while. How long are you here for?"
"Three weeks."
"Like your hotel?"
"Not staying at a hotel." I hesitated. "My family has a
place." I mentioned the name of the street we were on.
Her eyes lit up a little. "Nice neighborhood."
"It's not who you know but what you have," I said. Gwen
smiled. We chatted with small talk for a while as I
acted up the rich girl role. I had to do some fast-
talking, but luckily my writers' imagination and
empathy were great tools. When I mentioned I wanted to
be a writer she laughed and told me she was the author
of several romantic fiction novels. That time I
couldn't hold back my excitement. Gwen told me the
titles of her books, none of which I'd heard of since I
don't read romance stuff, and explained she had just
finished doing research on her new book. I told her
about some of my story ideas and characters and she
said they were outstanding. When she told me she wanted
to see some of my stuff and possibly give it to her
publisher, I had to keep myself from screaming and
lunging across the table to kiss her. This plan was
turning out better than I could have imagined.
Gwen kept buying drinks and time seemed to melt away as
we talked. At some point I came to the conclusion that
her hair was dyed but I don't remember why it seemed
important. What was important was that I hadn't felt
this much joy in months. Sure, part of it was the
alcohol and the fact that Gwen had a great personality,
but most of it was the feeling that something new was
starting and the old was shedding away. First, I had
spent the past few months partying with guilt, knowing
my grades were slipping and that my girlfriend was a
black hole whose gravity I had fallen prey to. Then,
when I finally decided to do something about it, I was
saddled with the burden of having to break up with Kim.
Most of that burden had come from guilt; Kim had always
lent me money when I needed it, or actually when she
needed me to have it. Kim would buy me drinks all night
to keep me out partying with her.
So many times during the conversation I just wanted to
lean across the table and kiss Gwen. The women at the
other table had started kissing each other, and after
seeing that I said to Gwen, "Let's go to my place." I
liked being able to say that, so much so that I it
didn't dawn on me until the cab was halfway there that
if Kim were home my little ruse would be shattered. Of
course that had been part of my plan, but now I didn't
want to lose my connection to Gwen and the opportunity
for my writing in the process.
Turns out my lucky streak for the night wasn't over,
Kim and the girls must have stayed out for the night.
Gwen complimented me on 'my place' and I went upstairs
to get one of my stories while she mixed us some more
drinks. When I came back downstairs there was some soft
music playing on the stereo and Gwen was sitting on the
couch. I handed her my story and she told me she'd read
it tomorrow. Gwen handed me my drink and made a toast,
"To the start of a successful career." She downed her
drink in one shot and I followed suit. She took the
glass from my hand and put them both on the table, then
leaned over and kissed me.
The sex between Gwen and I was not slow and calculated
like Kim and I have. It was raw, vicious, almost like
an attack. This was completely opposite from the lady
I'd met earlier. This sex wasn't like a moan, nor was
it like a scream- it was more like a guttural cry.
Savage. Primitive. She had my clothes off in mere
seconds. I was positive I'd find a tear in them
somewhere later. That made me angry so I tore off her
clothes too. It only seemed to fuel her desire because
she threw me down on the couch and sucked on my breast
like a madwoman. Gwen took no time in working her way
down to my pussy and her tongue was all over the place.
I put my hands on her head as she licked and sucked me
to an orgasm. When she was done she kissed down my leg
until she got to my feet and sucked on my toes. She did
the same to the toes on the other foot and kissed up
that leg. She crawled on top of me and we embraced in a
passionate kiss that seemed to last forever.
We got off the couch and lay on the floor as we
continued to kiss and cuddle. Finally I got up on my
knees and told her to lie still. I picked different
parts of her body to lick and suck on for a minute at a
time. First it was her neck, then the toes of her right
foot, the hollow of her left shoulder, the underside of
her left knee, her entire right side, her belly button,
her face and finally I used my fingers to lightly play
with her breasts. Turning around while I straddled her,
my fingers danced in her hairy mound as her breaths
became more audible and ragged. Gwen's legs spread
open, exposing her pink beauty and inviting me to give
her pleasure. I leaned down and dipped my tongue into
her folds for a brief second, causing her legs in front
of me to jerk in response. I did it again and again and
finally covered her sex with my mouth, letting my lips
slide towards the center until I gave it a kiss. Then I
began licking in earnest, my fingers sliding into her
slit!
and slowly pumping away. I found her clit and sucked
on it until she gave a loud moan at the sign of her
climax. As she lay on the floor catching her breath, I
turned and lay in her arms, cuddling to her breast.
"That was great," she said after a few minutes. "You
ready to have some fun?"
"Yeah, but let me get something first." I ran upstairs
and grabbed the anal beads and the lube. When I came
back downstairs Gwen was in the same position, so I
handed them to her. "I want you to use these," I said.
Gwen started lubing the beads as I straddled her body
again. I looked out the patio door at the moon
reflecting on the ocean, remembering how the unexpected
invasion of the vibrator increased my pleasure.
Suddenly I felt a slow pressure on my asshole. It was
Gwen's finger, getting my hole ready. She worked it all
the way in, moved in and out a few strokes, then pulled
all the way out. I knew the beads were next.
"Ohhh," I cooed as I felt the first one go in. Half a
minute later she pushed the second one in, then the
third. On the fourth one a wave of pleasure washed over
me. Gwen teased me by tugging on the string a little.
"Don't you dare," I said. She laughed and started
licking the globes of my ass from the outside inward
until she reached the sensitive skin of my ass crack,
where she gave a long slow lick all the way up the
valley. Her hand reached under me and started fingering
my pussy, rubbing all around until I was good and wet.
Gwen put one, then two fingers inside of me, burying
them all the way in. They moved around in there,
causing little waves of pleasure to surge through me.
She began pumping her fingers in and out of my cunt,
building me up to a climax while her other hand gripped
the string and pulled the beads out slowly, each one
causing my hips to shudder.
My eyes stared out at the waves coming onto the beach,
the water breaking onto shore and then sliding back,
coming and going over and over again. An act of nature,
peaceful and serene, filled my eyes as the rest of my
body was in a violent overload of sensations. My orgasm
struck as Gwen pulled out the last two beads, the
combined sensations had me gritting my teeth while a
deep growl came from my lungs. I finally let out a
scream. My body, covered in sweat, fell onto Gwen's as
I took air deep into my lungs trying to catch my
breath.
Gwen said she'd get me something to drink. While she
was gone I looked out at the ocean again and had the
wildest urge to go swimming. I suggested it to Gwen
when she came back, and she said maybe after we rested.
Soon, I'd finished my drink, but I felt really wiped
out from our fun and the two of us cuddled up on the
couch. Suddenly I was too tired to worry about whether
Kim walked in on us or I lost Gwen, and fell asleep
before I decided which one I really wanted more.
When I woke up someone was shaking me. I had trouble
opening my eyes, and when I did manage to open them,
they had trouble focusing. Finally they showed me Kim
standing over me with a look on her face I had expected
to see- she was upset. She said something I couldn't
make out and I groggily asked her to repeat it.
"We got robbed!" she yelled. I heard what she said that
time but it still took me a minute to comprehend it. I
was in a fog. Actually more than a fog, my mouth was
dry and my tongue felt like it weighed a hundred
pounds. I sat up slowly because it was the fastest
speed I was capable of.
"Robbed?" I asked.
"The money I left in my room, some of my clothes, my
PDA. And two paintings are gone too." She was really
angry, her face was red and none of it was from sun.
"Fu...fuck."
Kim looked back at me and suddenly her anger was
replaced with concern. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah," I said. I started to stand, but my legs were
having none of it and Kim managed to grab me before I
fell face first on the floor. She helped me into a
chair. "I'm just...a little...hung over."
Kim put a hand to my face. "You sure? You're white as a
ghost and you're skin's kinda cold."
Maria and Isobel came down from upstairs. Maria strode
confidently, holding a carving knife in one hand and a
bread knife in the other. Meanwhile, Isobel held this
stubby little paring knife and her fearful eyes kept
looking around. I would have laughed, but I was pretty
sure laughing would have made me puke. "No one is
here," Maria said. "Are you going to call the police?"
Kim hesitated for a moment, and then said, "Call an
ambulance, right now."
"No, I'm fine," I said. "Where's Gwen?"
Kim looked at me. "Who's Gwen?"
"The girl I was with."
Kim became stern. "She was here?"
"No, there," I said as I pointed at the couch. It made
perfect sense to me at the time.
The ambulance came and Kim insisted on riding with me
to the hospital, holding my hand the entire way. She
kept cursing Gwen, saying she was a thieving bitch and
that she'd hunt her down and kill her for what she did
to me. At the hospital the doctors pumped me full of
fluids. They also tested my blood and found, along with
plenty of pot and booze, a drug that is used to sedate
people. When the police showed up I thought they were
going to arrest me for using drugs, but all they did
was ask me a hundred questions about Gwen. Turns out
there had been a string of crimes involving an American
woman who targeted rich people, both locals and
tourists, by seducing them at a bar and getting them to
take her home. Then she'd spike their drink with the
drug and rob them of small but expensive items before
they woke up. I was the first one to end up in the
hospital. The doctors said some people have a bad
reaction to the drug. The cops showed me a sketch of
the suspect, which!
looked just like Gwen except her hair was darker.
Kim was by my side the whole time acting like a
concerned mom, holding my hand, giving me little kisses
and telling me she would take care of me. Kim's been
sappy with me before, but never to this degree, and I
remembered that she said she loved me, but now I was
starting to get an idea how much. An ache started
growing in my chest, nerves about what I intended to do
and how hard it was going to be now. But I also
remembered school and how important that was to me, and
my parents, and how I didn't want to let any of us
down. I decided that when Kim and I got back to the
house I would do the deed before guilt hit the brakes
again. It was at that moment that a thought hit me and
I realized I had to check one thing before I went
through with it. I was released after Kim paid my
hospital bill with her credit card, adding more guilt
to my conscience.
When we got back to the house I said, "I'm so sorry
about all this, bringing that bitch back here."
"Don't worry about it. And don't worry about the
paintings, all my dad's shit is insured."
"Yeah, but he'll be angry as hell."
"Not when his little girl lays it on thick," she said
with a wink. "Now I want you to lie down on the couch."
"Actually, I'm going to lay in the bedroom. I need some
sleep."
Even thought I could have done it myself, Kim insisted
on helping me up to the bedroom and tucked me in. It
surprised me how much this whole incident brought out
the mothering instinct in her. But as soon as she was
out the door I got up and went to the dresser. It was
the something that dawned on me in the hospital,
wondering how thorough Gwen's search was. I knew Kim
left her money all over the place, so I couldn't be
sure if Gwen just grabbed and ran.
Turns out it was thorough enough, my escape money was
gone. So was the story I'd given Gwen. I sat on the bed
and cried quietly, not wanting to bring Kim into the
room. Just last night my dreams were within a moments
reach, and I thought my life was about to change
drastically. I should have remembered what my mom
always told me about those get-rich-quick schemes on
the infomercials, "Anything that comes so fast and easy
exits the same way."
CHAPTER 8: ANNONYMOUS CLUB DRUG SEX
Throughout the following week I fell into an old
pattern- going out with Kim and partying. Of course, I
know now that getting drunk and stoned every night was
my attempt to forget the disappointment and shame over
my failed plan, as well as the guilt for what it
further cost Kim. But that's the problem with
hindsight- it's never there when you really need it.
All that guilt was self-inflicted since Kim acted like
I did no wrong. According to her, I was the victim more
than anyone else and she blew off the fact that I'd
cheated on her by saying it was a result of our
argument and that we both acted badly that night. Part
of me was uneasy about Kim's attitude toward the whole
situation, but I since I felt so much guilt about what
happened I was just thankful she wasn't angry.
Kim was also happy that I was finally loosening up and
having a good time. She had no idea I was trying to
numb myself and forget my predicament. We spent our
days on the beach, the exhibitionist in me getting the
most out of it, and the nights going out to clubs and
dancing, usually ending up with Maria and Isobel in our
bed. But like anything that was too good it had to come
crashing to an end, and it started the night we were at
a club with Maria and Isobel. We ran into a group of
their friends. There were these two girls who, when
Isobel introduced us, I immediately forgot their names
for some reason. I figured I'd ask again later.
Kim was at the DJ booth, trying to get the guy to play
a KMFDM CD she'd brought with her. The two girls whose
names I couldn't remember were going to the dance floor
and asked me to come. They said if Kim got the DJ to
play the song they wouldn't know how to dance to it,
since it wasn't their type of music, and wanted me to
teach them. I rarely dance to club music, but I was
stoned and on my third drink by that point, so I easily
agreed. On the dance floor the two girls were grinding
up on either side of me. The bass of the music felt
like it was going straight through me, like I was a
part of it, my heart synchronized with the rhythm.
Suddenly I noticed the people around us were no longer
dancing, apparently our antics had attracted attention
and the people on the dance floor simply stood around
us in a large circle to watch. The girl in front of me
rubbed her breasts against mine, and the girl behind me
ground her crotch into my ass. I was so high on the
moment, en!
joying the way these girls were dancing with me and
turning me on. All the people watching us just seemed
to add fuel to my fire, the exhibitionist in me coming
out again.
The girl in front of me grabbed my head and kissed me.
As I felt her tongue collide with mine, the crowd
erupted in cheers and yelling encouragement. I felt
something else enter my mouth, small and hard like a
pill. Suddenly the object was at the back of my throat
and, fearing that I might choke on it, swallowed. The
girl ended the kiss and stared at me with a big grin on
her face.
"What the hell was that?" I asked.
"A little surprise," she said as she started to dance
again. My naughty side was in command those days, so I
didn't worry too much. Not that it would have mattered
if I did, I'd already swallowed the thing. The girl
behind me put her arms around me and slid them down
until her hands were at my crotch, her fingers pressed
down and I felt a jolt. I didn't know if the crowd
could see what was happening with the other girl
standing in front of me or if my face gave it away, but
another round of cheers, louder than the first time,
erupted in the room. I pressed myself back into her
body, feeling her large breasts against my back and she
pushed her crotch into my ass. We must have gone too
far for somebody because a pair of bouncers came
through the crowd and asked us to break it up. We
separated from each other and just started dancing, and
the crowd started dancing again as well. A few guys
came over and started trying to dance with us, so we
decided to leave the floor a!
nd grab some drinks at the bar.
We found Kim talking with a few other people at a
table. Her attempts with the DJ had failed because
"they didn't play that type of music here". It didn't
surprise me when she explained her next plan was to
offer to let him watch us kiss if he would play it.
When Kim wanted something, 'no' was not in her
vocabulary. I told her about the dance floor and we
laughed our asses off. Right after that I started to
feel it. Not exactly like feeling lightheaded, more
like I could feel everything and nothing at the same
time but I had no control over which at any given
moment. Ah, fuck it. Putting the physical sensation of
tripping into words is impossible (at least I assume
that's what I was doing, I never really found out what
I took). But describing what I saw defiantly isn't.
Looking around, all the light seemed to have shadows
and even people did too, but they were colored shadows
following behind them. Afterwards I realized the
shadows were the color of their shirts a!
nd I was seeing trails.
Everything after that happened in some kind of
heightened reality. I needed to ask that girl what she
gave me, but when I looked around the table I realized
she and her friend were gone. Somehow logic was still
present in my brain and I thought they must have made a
trip to the bathroom, so I got up.
"Hey, slutknocker, where are you going?" Kim asked.
"Hunting for clues." I responded. I didn't even think
to ask Kim if she knew where the girls had gone. The
walk around the dance floor seemed like a slow motion
adventure, and even now I still remember some of the
faces I saw on my way. Some guy complimented me on my
performance; it wasn't until the next day I realized he
was talking about my m‚nages e trios on the dance
floor. I just said "Thanks, whatever," as I walked
away. I don't know if he heard me.
Walking into the bathroom was like walking into a
vacuum. The loud music and people talking were reduced
to a muffle through the wall. And no more color trails
because this room was a bright antiseptic white, the
lighting made the walls and the floor almost glow. It
was the brightest bathroom I'd ever been in. I had to
stand there for a second just to get oriented. This is
what Heaven must be like, I thought. Then where is God?
Had to be in one of the stalls. The first two were
empty. The third was locked so I knocked.
"What?!" The voice was heavily accented European.
"Are you God?"
"Fuck off."
I thought for a moment, maybe closer to a minute. Then
it hit me. "Are you the girl that kissed me on the
dance floor and gave me drugs?"
"I don't fucking kiss girls."
"Oh my God."
Those words didn't come from me, I heard them out of
the last stall and they were followed by a giggle - a
very cute giggle. So I went down there and knocked. The
door opened and the most stunning Asian girl sat on the
toilet. She wore a tube-top and a pair of shorts that
I'm sure looked better on her hips than her ankles
where they currently resided. She had long hair, dark
exotic eyes and a diamond stud in her nose. She was so
beautiful that I just stood and stared. This had to be
Heaven, because this girl was an angel. She smiled back
at my stare.
"Holy shit," she said in perfect English, via Southern
California, "you're that girl from the dance floor." My
witty response was to continue staring. She giggled
again and said, "Sorry, I'm not God."
"I want to eat your pussy," came out of my mouth
without my internal censor even looking at it. Who am I
kidding - my internal censor was off to the moon with
the rest of my brain functions. The Asian girl's eyes
widened with surprise, and then settled back into place
as a smile that was part wicked and part innocent
crossed her face. She nodded, so I entered and closed
the door behind me.
"I've never-" she started, but I cut her off by putting
a finger to her lips. "Shhhh," I said as I smiled. I
took the finger away from her lips.
"Hold on a minute," she said and grabbed some toilet
paper to wipe between her legs. When she was done she
took her feet out of her slides and shook out of her
shorts. She put one leg over the toilet paper rack and
braced her other leg against the door. Her hands spread
open her flower and she looked up at me with a smile.
"Go for it," she said. I got on my knees and put my
tongue to work. She tasted bitter but not pungent. I
licked all around as she began to moan and groan. No
idea how long I went at it or if I was even doing it
well, but I knew I was having a good time. I remember
teasing her clit to the point where she begged, or
maybe yelled angrily, for me to suck on it. I did so
and pressed my finger inside of her. She was actually
pretty tight, so I left it at one finger and pumped in
and out as I sucked her clit. The Asian girl put her
hands on my head as her body shook and I licked up her
cream as it came. The girl was breathing heavy and she
laid back, her head resting on the wall.
A strange feeling washed over me. My body felt numb and
I felt like I couldn't breathe. This place was too
quiet, too sterile, and too empty. For a moment I
wondered if I had really died. Like a wave crashing
over me, the urge to get out of there struck with
overwhelming force. I stood, said "Thanks," and slipped
out of the stall. Two girls were standing near the
sinks whispering. I avoided their gaze as I walked
briskly to the door.
Outside the bathroom I was blasted by the music again,
the smoke and the lights, the people gyrating on the
dance floor. It was great. I knew I was alive. Suddenly
I realized it was KMFDM that was playing.
"Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiimmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!" I screamed in joy and
jumped into the crowd on the dance floor and danced
like I never had before. The music was pulsing through
my body and I felt like pure happiness was coursing
through my veins. A hand grabbed my arm and I saw it
belonged to the girl whose name I couldn't remember,
standing next to her was her friend whose name I also
couldn't remember.
"How do you like it?" she asked.
"It's fucking great!" I yelled. They started dancing
with me and at one point I grabbed both their heads and
pulled them into a three-way kiss. Soon after, the
three of us left the club together, and that was the
last thing I remembered.
CHAPTER 9: IT'S THE LITTLE THINGS YOU DON'T REMEMBER
Suddenly there was water. It smelled like salt water-
hitting me in the face, swirling around my neck,
slapping against my breasts and stomach, tickling my
pubic hairs, sliding over my legs and foaming between
my toes. I coughed, sputtered and gasped for air as I
pushed myself up from the sand. Then there was light,
not a bright light, but brighter than the darkness
behind my closed eyes. I opened them, but they couldn't
focus immediately. It actually took me a minute to
realize I was cold. I could finally see that the sun
hadn't completely come up yet, half the sky was lighted
by the dawn as last night's darkness retreated over the
other half. And there I was lying naked on the beach. I
looked around and saw that no one was with me, and my
clothes were equally absent. The only thing I was
wearing was body jewelry.
When I crawled up the sand to escape the waves of high
tide I felt a sharp pain on my waist, just above and to
the left of my crotch. I went to grab at it and felt
material other than my skin. There was a bandage there.
It was small, about two inches square. A dozen
questions filled my mind. Who did this to me? Or did I
do this to myself? Where did I get bandaged up? Where
the hell are my clothes? And how the hell did I get
here? Part of me wanted to pull off the bandage and see
what was under there but part of me was afraid to face
the answers to any of those questions.
The decision to leave came with the noise of people
from somewhere behind me. I was stark naked in a public
place. As much as it would have normally turned me on,
I had no idea how I got there and I was worried about
what was under the bandage. My head felt like there was
nothing in it, but I managed to stand up and started
walking. Looking around, I recognized some of the
houses and realized I wasn't far from the Ross house.
Hugging myself with my arms against the cold, I could
feel my nipples were rock hard from the wind coming off
the ocean.
There was a part of me that felt like crying. I'd hit
rock bottom. I came here to get rid of a problem and it
had only gotten worse. Now I was waking up in strange
places without my clothes after getting so fucked up
that I couldn't remember how any of it had happened.
Even worse, apparently now I had damaged myself. I
looked out towards the ocean, then back towards land.
There were a few people in the windows of their houses
and I passed by some early morning walkers who stared.
I remember hoping this didn't take the pleasure of
exhibitionism away from me. The pain on my waist was
still there when I walked into the Ross house. Kim was
sleeping on the couch. I shook her awake, her eyes
widened when she saw me.
"Oh my God! Where the hell have you been?"
"Body surfing. I need you to look at something for me."
We went into the bedroom as Kim told me how she had
looked all over the club for me. Finally she came home
in case I was here. She also told me she finally got
the DJ to play KMFDM by kissing first Maria and then
Isobel when the guy got greedy. I lay down on the bed
and pointed to the bandage.
"What the hell happened?"
"Just pull it off and tell me how bad it is."
Kim peeled off the bandage. "Holly shit!" she said.
"Oh my God, is it that bad?"
Kim looked up at me, then back down at my waist. I had
a hard time reading her look.
"What?" I looked down and saw a black mark on my skin,
and at first I thought it was a burn. But looking at it
I realized it was a design.
"You got a tattoo," she said.
I looked at it closer. "What is it?"
"I don't know. It looks like it's one of those Chinese
characters."
"What does it mean?"
"It means you got a tattoo without me." Kim climbed off
the bed and walked out of the room without another
word. No outburst. It was more unsettling than if she
had screamed and lost her temper. I felt this huge
horrible feeling wash over me. I realized it was guilt.
Kim and I had talked about getting tattoos together.
Not that we were planning on getting the same one, but
we did promise we would share our first together. It
had to do with experiencing something together that
would last forever. I remembered, before I started
planning the break up, how much I was looking forward
to getting a tattoo and how special it would be getting
it with her. That was why I understood how hurt she was
at that moment. That's why, even though this was a
perfect chance to break up with her, I followed with
the intention of begging forgiveness.
I found Kim sitting on the couch in the living room,
doing a line of coke. I sat down in the chair across
from her.
"I don't even remember getting it," I said.
"That's not the point." Kim snorted another line.
"Then what is the point?
"You went off on your own and had fun without me."
Suddenly I remembered my purpose here and stood up.
"Well boo fucking hoo. Afraid someone might actually
have fun without you?"
Kim stood and yelled "I thought you liked being with
me!"
"It doesn't mean we have to be attached at the hip the
whole fucking time."
That seemed to throw her. She stood there silent for a
moment. "Fine!" Kim said. She stormed out the back
glass door onto the patio. I put my head in my hands
for a minute. At first I was thinking this was not
turning out like I had wanted, but then I realized it
was exactly what I needed. It's hard hurting someone,
even if it is necessary. And hurting someone you care
about is even harder.
That's when I understood why this was all so hard for
me on the inside- I really did have feelings for Kim.
If the situation was different, like if she wasn't such
a party animal or a very high GPA didn't matter, I'd
probably be happy as hell about being her girlfriend.
But the situation is what it is and I can only change
what I have control over. Of course, that kind of logic
is no consolation when romantic emotions are involved.
I went to the bedroom and crashed on the bed. When I
woke up it was five hours later and I felt energized.
While showering I noticed my tattoo again, and my mind
was plagued about what this symbol meant. I was so
fucked up I didn't even remember getting it, that made
me worry about its meaning even more. I got dressed and
decided I'd go into town and find the tattoo parlor I
went to. When I went downstairs I called out for Kim
and there was no response. She wasn't on the patio
either. I found the note in the kitchen, it read-
Carol,
Going out to have my own fun. At least I'm letting you
know so you wouldn't worry. Or do you even care?
Kim
I got angry because she was throwing her fit on a piece
of paper. Suddenly I wasn't worried about hurting her
as much as I was that morning, especially because I had
something else to worry about. I called a taxi and on
the way into town I asked the driver if he happened to
know Chinese. English, Portuguese and some French, but
no Chinese. My mind raced with all the questions about
last night and the worst answers to them. Had I even
wanted to go get a tattoo? Did those girls pull some
horrible trick on me? Was I even conscious? Or did they
get me marked, steal my clothes and dump me on the
beach? All the unanswered questions were having a
physical affect on me because my stomach was hurting.
The first two tattoo parlors were small places that had
very few Chinese symbols. A guy at the second place
told me about a tattoo artist who'd lived abroad for a
while and brought lots of designs back, many of them
Chinese symbols. I went there and knew I'd found what I
was looking for when I walked through the door and the
guy recognized me.
"You're...Carol, right?" he said in the most perfect
English I'd heard from a local so far.
"You know me?"
He smiled. "I gave you your tattoo, didn't I?" I didn't
respond. Suddenly the smile made an exit and his face
grew concerned. "Jesus, you don't remember, do you?" He
held up his hands. "Hey, I asked all three of you
ladies if you were sober and you said yes. No refunds
either."
"I don't want a refund and I'm not going to cause you
any trouble," I said. "I just want to know what the
symbol means."
He gave a warm, hearty laugh as he walked from behind
the counter. "Sorry, I just can't believe you don't
remember, especially after all the time it took you to
choose. I was done with your two friends and you still
hadn't decided." He stopped next to a poster board full
of Chinese symbols. "But when you saw this one you got
so excited I thought I was going to have to strap you
down while I worked." He pointed to an exact replica of
what was marked on my flesh. Underneath it were two
lines, one in Portuguese and the other in English,
giving its meaning. It read: "To Like Women".
I gasped and felt elation. Gone was the worry of what
I'd done to myself. This was the coolest thing I could
have ever imagined getting as a tattoo. The shop owner
burst out in laughter. "I don't believe it!" he said.
"That was the same look you had last night when you saw
it!" When he finished laughing he walked back behind
the counter and looked at me. "That must be something,
to find that kind of happiness, forget you had it and
find it all over again." He shook his head and laughed
again. "And I got to see it both times. I love this
fucking job."
CHAPTER 10: THE THINGS YOU NEVER SEE COMING
Before I went back to the house I stopped at a store
and picked up a notebook and some pens. The good
feeling I had from my tattoo discovery fueled a desire
to get back on track, and I was determined to let
nothing stop me this time. Kim was still out, so I sat
at the dining room table and started writing. It just
poured out of me, everything that had happened over the
past week, my last few months at school and how I'd
slid down from what I had a year ago. Everything I
remembered, everything I could remember feeling at the
moment and what I thought about it in hindsight. I
couldn't write fast enough, and I had to stop twice
just to calm myself down so I could keep going. It was
the same rush I'd felt when writing before I met Kim,
but there was still something different about it. I
would later realize that I'd finally let go, because
there were no inhibitions that had kept me from truly
opening up even when I wrote regularly.
When I read what I'd written I felt so exposed, yet
instead of feeling apprehension I felt a surge of
excitement from the core of my being. It was like my
naughty side and my rational side finally agreed on
something. I wanted to treat myself, so I went upstairs
and ran a bubble bath. I played a CD of Mazzy Star,
which always makes me feel relaxed.
Lying in the tub, I couldn't remember the last time I'd
felt that relaxed. It was hard to believe how
accustomed I'd become to the tension in my body. I slid
down until my head was totally immersed. When I came
back up, pushed my hair back and opened my eyes, I
imagined I was being reborn. A new Carol Hitchcock. No
more guilt. No more regret. Hit the reset button and
try again. I suddenly felt like I was floating.
The idea of a new start made me excited, and something
about that made me horny. My hands slowly ran up and
down my torso, creating a tingling sensation all over
my skin. I stopped at my breasts and caressed the
globes with my hands, then lightly brushed at the
sensitive skin with my fingertips. I took both nipples
and rolled them between my fingers, soon after I began
to lightly pinch and pull at them. Finally I scratched
lightly at the hard nubs of flesh, teasing them to the
point where they started to ache.
My hands slid down to my hips and rubbed around the
area where my crotch and my legs meet. The anticipation
began to build throughout my body. I spread my legs and
took a deep breath. The feeling of my fingers touching
my outer lips made me exhale. Rubbing up and down, I
lifted my left leg and put it over the side of the tub
for better access. Teasing the inner lips with the tips
of my fingers. Running one digit all the way down my
slit and back up again. I repeated that several times.
My breathing became slow and deep. I closed my eyes,
crooked my right index finger and gasped as I slid it
inside. Pushing it in as far as it could go. Out again.
In again. Slowly building. Out again. In again. Out
again. Bracing my right foot against the end of the
tub. In again. Out again. Faster now. Building
momentum, my thumb occasionally stroking against my
clit. It became harder to breathe slow and deep. My
left hand went to my breast and rolled the nipple
betwee!
n my fingers. Short moans escaped my mouth with each
thrust. I had a rhythm going. My clit became my thumb's
full time job. I pinched the nipple. Slow and deep went
out the window. My upper body rocked back and forth
slightly. I clench my buttocks. My left hand abandoned
my breast, fired my thumb and went to work on my clit.
The change caused a quick cry from my mouth. My back
lifted off of the wall of the tub. I exploded.
Slowly I returned to Mother Earth. After a minute I was
able to control my breathing again. My eyes opened. The
elation and excitement about what I had accomplished
with my writing returned. I could feel the smile grow
on my face. And that's when I suddenly had an epiphany,
an understanding about what writing was. I had taken
all my life experiences over the past few months, the
good, the bad and especially the ugly, and turned them
into something that I now felt good about. Writing
helped me to understand some of it, gave another part
of it perspective, but on a whole allowed me to put it
all behind me. That was why I felt reborn. That was why
I suddenly allowed myself to feel joy.
That joy lasted up until the moment I went downstairs
and found Kim sitting at the dining table, reading what
I had written. I'd forgotten to put it away. When she
looked up at me her face held both anger and sadness.
She held up the notebook.
"Is this what you really think about me?"
I stood there unsure of what to say. Being on a natural
high, then walking into such a bad situation caught me
off guard. She threw the notebook and it hit the wall
to the left of me.
"Is it?!" she yelled. "After all I've done for you?"
It was like she'd thrown a match into a pan of grease,
suddenly rage blossomed throughout my entire body. I
yelled, "Because of you I nearly lost the money that's
keeping me in school! Because of you I've completely
lost touch with my dreams! Everything you've done for
me?!!" I turned and went upstairs, pulled out my
suitcase and started packing. Kim was suddenly in the
doorway, her face had softened and there were tears in
her eyes.
"Where are you going?"
"I'm going to crash at Maria's place until our flight."
"Carol, I'm sorry, I didn't know you were having
trouble with your grades."
"Oh bullshit! How many times did I tell you that I
needed to study or do homework? You just didn't want to
hear it! As usual, all you think about is yourself.
We're over, so that should give you plenty of extra
time to think about you."
Kim walked up behind me as I was zipping up my bag. I
picked it up and turned to face her.
"Just give me another chance, please."
I stared at her and for a moment I almost faltered
again, almost gave into her. Then I realized this was
just another ploy, like the blackmail on the beach.
Thinking about how she pulled shit like that made me
angry. "I can't afford to take anymore chances Kim," I
said, "especially with you."
That really hit her. Kim's face went tight and her
lower lip quivered. "Is being with me that bad?" she
asked.
"Kim," I said, "you're the worst thing that's ever
happened to me." I said it with such hardness in my
voice that hearing those words even chilled me to the
bone.
At that second I could swear I saw those piercing blue
eyes dim for a moment. "You." was all she got out
before she ran into the bathroom and shut the door. I
just breathed a sigh of relief as I realized I'd
finally done it, I'd broken free of her.
When I got downstairs I picked up my notebook and
looked at it. Remembering the joy and excitement I'd
felt when I was writing, I put it in my bag confident
that this was the start of something new. I was about
to pick up the phone to call a cab when it rang. I
almost decided to let it go, but picked it up at the
last second. "Hello?"
"Carol?" It was Mrs. Ross. "How are you?"
"I'm good, I..." No, I couldn't lie. She'd been so nice
to me. I wanted to tell her goodbye. "Kim and I are
breaking up Mrs. Ross."
"Oh no! Why? Did she cheat on you?"
"It was nothing like that." An image of Gwen popped
into my head and I pushed it out quickly. "I
just...need some time away from her."
There was a short pause, and then she said, "Carol, I
know my daughter can be a handful, but you mean a lot
to her. She's told me that you're the one thing that
keeps her together, that you're the only thing that's
ever mattered to her. I have a feeling she hasn't
exactly expressed these things to you very directly,
but I hope they'll have some bearing on your decision."
I'd never really thought about it, but Kim throwing all
that money my way was how she expressed her feelings.
Probably something that came from being raised rich.
But it was too late now. "This isn't easy for me, Mrs.
Ross, but it's what I need to do. Kim parties too much
and if I stay with her, my grades will drop and I'll
lose my scholarships. I literally can't afford that."
There was another pause, longer this time, and I
wondered if I'd made Mrs. Ross angry. "Listen Carol,"
her voice was different, more serious and a little
tight. "If money is a problem, it's one I can solve."
Another pause. "I'll give you ten thousand dollars if
you stay with Kim."
Shock is too mild a word to describe what I felt at
that moment. "Mrs. Ross, I...I'm not sure what to say."
"Then don't say anything and just listen." There was a
stern, controlling edge to her voice. "There's a lot of
opportunity here, Carol. I'm not sure if Kim has told
you, but Mr. Ross and I are about to divorce. A lot of
money is at stake and my daughter has some power as to
which way it goes. How that turns out can be beneficial
to you as well."
I couldn't believe I was hearing this, much less from a
woman I'd imagined as the ideal mom. I swallowed hard.
"What are you saying?" I asked. I'm not dense; I just
wanted to hear her say it so I could confirm that I was
the worst judge of character alive.
"Don't play coy with me, Carol," Mrs. Ross said
impatiently, "You're the first person I've ever seen
make Kim so happy. That means you have influence over
her. The ten thousand is for staying with Kim and
keeping me up to date on which way she's leaning." She
stopped and I could hear her take a breath, "And I'll
go up to twenty thousand if you can make sure she's on
my side."
There really must have been a lot of money at stake for
her to be throwing around those numbers and taking a
chance I'd go for it. But Mrs. Ross was betting that
this poor farm girl from Kentucky couldn't resist the
kind of money she's only heard about, and anyone who
knows me would most likely say it's a safe bet. People
talk about what they would and wouldn't do for money,
and usually how noble they'd be no matter how much was
on the table. But most of the time that's just talk,
because no one really knows how they'll react when that
money is actually within reach.
"Well?" she asked. "What do you have to say?"
"Mrs. Ross..." I said. I closed my eyes and took a deep
breath, looking deep within myself, trying to find
something that I needed to know was there. Somewhere
past my mind, my heart, and maybe even my soul, I
managed to find it, and opened my eyes and said what I
had to. "Go fuck yourself." And with that I quickly
slammed down the phone. I did it quickly because there
was still a part of me thinking about how twenty
thousand dollars would solve all my problems. But I
also knew that it would cause a regret I would never
get over, and I was through making those kinds of easy
mistakes.
While I stood there in shock over what just happened, I
thought about Kim, and many things about her behavior
came into focus. The way she treated her parents, why
she acted the way she did, her desire to get fucked up
all the time. Why didn't she tell me? Now I understood
why she expressed her love for me the way she did, but
why not share her problems with me? Especially when, as
Mrs. Ross said, I'm the only thing keeping her togeth-
I'm leaving her.
The bathroom.
A tub.
Oh fuck!
I ran for the stairs and bounded up them two at a time,
which was a big mistake because halfway up my foot
missed one and I fell flat. My head slammed into the
edge of a stair, which might have killed me if it
hadn't been carpeted. But pain shot through my head so
bad that I felt like I had to fight to remain
conscious. I managed to get on my hands and knees and
took some deep breaths.
Through the pain there was a voice in my head screaming
"GET UP THERE YOU STUPID BITCH!" I crawled up the
stairs on my hands and knees until I got to the top,
where I attempted standing. Luckily I grabbed the wall
when my knees tried to buckle on me. Using it for
support, I slid along as I walked to the bedroom door.
Once there I managed to stand on my own two feet and
carefully walked to the bathroom door. I could hear
KMFDM's 'Anarchy' playing inside. My hand rested on the
doorknob but I hesitated. I heard the lyric about blood
and it reminded me of what I was probably about to walk
into. At that moment I realized how much I really cared
about Kim. Despite all the bullshit and how she acted,
deep down I could really say that I loved her and mean
it. A fine time to realize this, I know, but that's how
it is with the things you never see coming.
I turned the knob, hoping that this didn't all come too
late.
***
STAY TUNED for the head-dropping, pill-popping, slut-
knocking, not-so-grandiose finale. And I promise there
will be whipped cream in this one!
Please send feedback to roguewriter@hotmail.com.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
This story was written as an adult fantasy. The author
does not condone the described behavior in real life.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Kristen's collection - Directory 26