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K R I S T E N' S C O L L E C T I O N
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Archive name: recov.txt (FFM, exh, mast, bd, size)
Authors name: ddwriter (ddwriter45@yahoo.com)
Story title : Recovery from Rape Trauma
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Recovery from Rape Trauma (FFM, exh, mast, bd, size)
by ddwriter (ddwriter45@yahoo.com)
***
My wife's friend needs to work through her emotional
anxiety from being raped by a man with a large cock. I
don't mind being a part of her therapy.
***
I'm a third year medical student and my wife, Laura, is
a doctoral student in counseling psychology with an
interest in trauma recovery, particularly rape trauma.
We are both 26 years old.
Laura and one of her classmates, Marty, have become
close friends, although Marty and I have never met -
that is, we've never met in the ordinary sense of that
word. Let me explain.
Marty, also a doctoral student in psychology and 24
years of age, recently disclosed to Laura that she was
raped when she was 15 by a boy, Rod, who was 17 at the
time and whom she had dated only a couple of times.
Their two dates had consisted only of going to movies;
the rape occurred in his car after their second date.
Rod had driven his car to a secluded area to make out.
Marty had never had sex before the rape and has never
had sex since - she can't get over the fear of being
helpless and vulnerable while alone with men.
She remembers that her rapist had an unusually large
penis, causing the rape was physically painful as well
as emotionally traumatic. Although Marty has received
extensive psychological counseling, she is still so
fearful of men that she cannot become intimate. At 24,
she is worried that she cannot have a fulfilling adult
life until she finds a way to recover from the trauma
of her rape nine years ago.
Marty disclosed her rape experience and her fears to
Laura, who is an exceptionally good listener and a
wonderfully supportive friend, as well as a specialist
in rape trauma. Laura had an idea about a treatment for
Marty that involved me. She talked her idea over with
me and asked me if I were willing to participate. In
reply to my curiosity, Laura explained that Marty is
very attractive, petite and trim with a sizable bust
and a cute face. I was willing, so she proposed her
idea to Marty, who also accepted, although with some
trepidation. This story tells what happened.
Laura explained to Marty that I am an intelligent,
sensitive, caring, and emotionally healthy man... and
also extremely well endowed - my erect penis is nearly
eleven inches long.
Laura's plan involved inviting Marty to our home where
I would be already bound, hands and feet tied to the
four corners of our king-size bed. A large sheet would
be completely covering my body except for a hole where
my penis and testicles would be passed through and
accessible to Marty and Laura for use during the
therapy. The hole had a drawstring so it could be
slightly tightened around the base of my penis and
under my scrotum, causing my external sex organs to be
the only visible part of my body.
I would have earphones with music so I could not hear
what Laura and Marty would be saying during the
session. Also, I was committed to not speaking
throughout the treatment so Marty would not feel that
she was with a "real human being." In effect, my
disembodied genitals would symbolically represent her
rapist, and would be used to help Marty work through
her fears, feelings of helplessness, and anxiety about
being out of control with men in sexual situations.
The therapy session was scheduled to begin at 1:00 pm
on a Saturday afternoon and last as long as necessary,
perhaps into the evening.
Marty arrived exactly on time and rang the doorbell.
Laura had prepared me on the bed and gave me an
appreciative kiss before putting on the earphones and
pulling the sheet over my head. Finally, she placed a
small towel over my genitals before answering the door.
Much of the following report is from Laura, since I was
not able to see or hear anything until the session was
over many hours later.
Laura accompanied Marty into our bedroom. Laura had
suggested that they both dress in skimpy negligee to
heighten Marty's feeling of being exposed and
vulnerable, albeit in a safe situation. (Laura wore
negligee simply to be "in sympathy" with Marty to
increase her comfort.) Laura explained that although I
was her husband, Marty should let go of any feelings
about "being with another woman's husband" or other
concerns about Laura's jealousy or possessiveness of
me. Rather, she helped Marty regard my genitals as
simply a physical object that she could experience in
any way she wished.
Marty understood that I would not speak or otherwise
manifest my "humanity" as a known person. The only rule
about using my genitals in this therapeutic setting was
that Marty must not hurt or injure me. However, she
could disregard my sexual needs entirely.
Indeed, Marty was not to feel responsible for taking
care of me or responding to my needs. In fact, the
therapy plan included allowing Marty to frustrate me
mercilessly as a way to experience a sense of control
and power while being with men.
Laura and Marty sat cross-legged across from each other
with my mid-section directly between them. After a few
minutes' talking to help Marty relax and become
oriented to the setting, Laura invited Marty to remove
the towel from my genitals whenever she felt ready to
do so. As I felt the towel being slowing pulled aside,
my already half-erect penis quickly grew to its full
eleven-inch dimension as I realized a woman whom I had
never met was gazing at my exposed genitals.
Now that my genitals were on full display to Marty,
Laura said: "Marty, think of these sex organs as the
'Universal Male' - not as belonging to any particular
man. They are a part of every man - your rapist who
used them to violate and hurt you, your father who
spawned you, your future lovers who will use them to
give you pleasure, your future spouse who will use them
to father your children, and your sons, if you have
male children. But before you can have healthy
relationships with male people, you have some
unfinished business with your rapist. The opportunity
you have today is to progress toward completion of that
business, to come to terms with his maleness that hurt
you, and to differentiate your rapist from other men."
Laura continued: "When you were raped, you were
vulnerable. No one was there to protect you from Rod,
who abused his power and who exploited your trusting
vulnerability to satisfy his own selfish needs. But
right now you are safe in the presence of the Universal
Male. You are the one who has control. The male is
securely tied up and not able to move. He can't hear
you, or see you, or speak to you - you are anonymous in
his presence and free to do whatever you feel
comfortable doing, and feel that you should do, to
finish your unfinished business. You and I - two women
- are the only real people in this room. I hope you can
trust me to help you heal your hurt, and to guide you
in using these sex organs of the Universal male, which
are provided for you simply for that purpose."
Marty fully understood what Laura meant in this opening
statement, and was immediately able to perceptually
frame their setting as Laura proposed. As a check,
Laura asked Marty how many people are in the room.
"Two," replied Marty.
Laura encouraged Marty to discuss her feelings as she
looked at a huge penis - indeed, any penis - for the
first time in nine years. Marty replied that she felt a
complex mixture of fear, anger, fascination, and some
sexual curiosity. Laura invited Marty, whenever she
felt ready, to touch and explore the sex organs of the
Universal Male. With some hesitation, Marty reached out
and lightly touched the skin of my shaft.
For several more minutes she lightly touched me as she
tentatively explored these foreign and frightening male
sex organs. She examined the texture and viscosity of
my precum, which was already generously oozing from the
tip, spreading it over my pulsing glans.
Laura continuously invited Marty to describe her
emotions as she explored my genitals, and Marty became
more comfortable revealing her deep anxieties, imagery,
and feelings to Laura. Over the next half hour or more,
Laura invited Marty to become more assertively
exploratory with her touch. In time, she wrapped a hand
around my shaft and felt my testicles, pushing them
around inside my scrotum. She gradually felt more
authorized and assertive in making contact with this
quintessentially male object - my genitals - the sex
organs of the Universal Male.
Marty then reported a flashback she was having about
the rape experience. Rod had taken his penis out of his
pants and tried to get Marty to touch it. She refused.
He then forcibly took her hand and put it around his
erection, making her move her hand up and down to
masturbate him. She became frightened as Rod got more
aroused and aggressive, so she pulled her hand away.
That's when he got angry and raped her. Thereafter,
male sexual arousal felt dangerous to her.
To help Marty understand male sexuality, Laura
demonstrated how men masturbate by gripping my cock
mid-shaft and pumping several times, causing the skin
to ride up over my corona. She then guided Marty's
hands to do the same, explaining that only a minute or
so of this action in my state of arousal would cause me
to ejaculate.
Marty became anxious and fearful as she sensed the
hardening of my cock and the quickening of my
breathing, recalling how this had happened just before
Rod raped her. Laura reminded Marty that she could stop
masturbating me any time she wanted to, regardless of
how aroused I became, and that I was completely
restrained and so could not force her to do anything.
Marty was gradually beginning to feel that she did
indeed have control over the Universal Male, and would
never again be his victim.
Laura also demonstrated how to handle testicles,
including how firmly they could be squeezed before
causing significant discomfort or pain. With Laura's
expert coaching, Marty was able to grip my testicles in
her hand so she had the feeling of "having a man by the
balls." The fact that she could, if she chose, give
them a crushing squeeze and that "he" (that is, I)
could do nothing to prevent it, was an empowering
experience for Marty.
She experimented with gripping my balls until Laura
recognized by my body movements indicated that I was
beginning to feel pain, and coached Marty to relax her
grip slightly. With both hands gripping my testicles,
she was able to voice her feeling of power, "Now I've
got you by the balls, big guy. What are you going to do
about it? It's my turn to call the shots now. How do
you like that?!" She gave them a quick squeeze, causing
my body to tense. Laura reported later that Marty
smiled with pleasure at her feminine power over the
male !
aggressor.
Next, Laura began to help Marty experience the power of
controlling the male's orgasm, noting that many women
feel that men control sexual experiences by the urgency
of their orgasms. This was very meaningful to Marty,
since she had felt during the rape that her Rod's
overwhelming urgency to climax was what drove him to
attack and violate her. During this therapy session,
Laura invited Marty to resolve to regain a feeling of
power by exercising complete control over my orgasm,
allowing me to have no influence whatsoever over its
timing.
Marty needed help with this since she had never
experienced a man's orgasm except on the occasion of
the rape. Because of her trauma, she had never fondled
a man so she did not recognize the stages of arousal
and imminent ejaculation. Laura proceeded to expertly
teach her these skills and sensitivities.
All the while, I was lying bound and completely
helpless, unable to see or hear, entirely covered by a
sheet except for my sex organs protruding through the
drawstring hole, visualizing my wife with another woman
who was a stranger to me manipulating my genitals - an
extremely erotic image.
Laura and I had refrained from having sex for a few
days so that my physical reactions during the session
would be intensified for Marty's benefit. I was
approaching a state of nearly unbearable sexual
tension. But relief was not "near at hand." The session
had gone only a couple of hours by this time, and it
would be several more hours before I was delivered of
my agony.
Forcing my legs farther part and my knees to bend so
the soles of my feet were facing each other, Laura sat
between them to demonstrate how to grasp my testicles
in her left hand, pulling them slightly away from my
body, while slowly stroking my throbbing erection with
her right hand. In this position, she showed Marty how
to recognize the visual and tactile signs of
approaching ejaculation, such as the involuntary
retraction of my testicles, the darkening redness of my
glans, the hardening sponginess of my corona, as well
as my breathing.
After Laura's expert demonstration, Marty assumed the
position between my legs. In this "driver's seat," she
was invited to arouse, frustrate, and deny my orgasm as
long as she wished. Marty quickly became quite skilled
at this, bringing me tantalizing close to ejaculating,
then removing her hands and watching my pulsating cock
bounce in space, frantically seeking more stimulation.
Although I was committed to not speaking words, my
groans and guttural moans of desperate yet powerless
urgency added to Marty's experience of being in
control. Although I could not hear Marty's voice, Laura
reported later that Marty was able, with Laura's
facilitation, to give voice to her anger with
expressions such as, "Take that, you bastard!" "How do
you like being the one who hurts, asshole!" You think I
care about your needs? Think again, motherfucker!"
"Time for you to suffer, jerk!"
At times, I could hear Marty's voice over the music in
my headphones as she shouted epithets at the man who
raped her, represented symbolically by my sexual
organs. Over and over, Marty would bring me close to
ejaculating, stop, remove her hands, lean back on her
backstretched arms in a posture of taunting disregard
to watch the display of my sexual frustration, then
yell angrily, releasing her pent-up rage that had built
up over the past nine years since her rape.
Marty again recalled her rape, tearfully saying she
wished she could have had this control over Rod. It
would have been nice, she said, to be able to explore
her sexual curiosity about his genitals without fear
that he would attack her when he become aroused. She
slapped herself on her knees several times in
frustration and anger.
Recognizing that Marty needed to express her aggressive
physical energy, Laura showed her how she could slap my
huge throbbing cock, knocking it from side to side like
a bozo doll, without injuring me or causing great pain.
Being able to physically strike at the hated object of
her rage was very therapeutic for Marty, and she did so
vigorously for a long time.
Laura told me later that Marty swung her open hand as
hard as she could, slapping my erection while gripping
my testicles in her other hand, yelling and cursing,
ventilating her rage. When my cock slightly softened,
she would pump it again until it was fully engorged and
near orgasm. She felt she was getting revenge against
her rapist, evening the score that had been so
imbalanced these past nine years.
This went on for over an hour as I endured helplessly
and mostly silently. Lying with my legs spread wide and
knees bent, with this angry man-hating woman sitting
between them, I was completely vulnerable to her
aggression. I was protected only by Laura's moderating
guidance of Marty's anger. I shuttered to think of what
Marty, in her rage, might do to my exposed and
vulnerable balls if Laura were not there to protect me.
Eventually... at about 6 pm, five hours after we
began... Marty's anger began to subside, gradually
being replaced by more tender and sexual feelings. She
told Laura she would like to see semen, for the first
time in her life. Semen represented to Marty a more
life-affirming and less dangerous aspect of the
Universal Male.
Laura, wanting to preserve my complete ejaculation for
a possible later purpose (I'll explain soon), agreed to
show Marty how to bring out just a small drop of semen.
She gripped the base of my penis while also forcing my
testicles to be extended from my body. She then
carefully stroked my shaft until she felt my testicles
retract and a thickening of the base of my penis caused
by the first surge of semen begin to enter it.
My body shuttered with agonizing frustration when she
stopped stroking at the exact moment that allowed only
a small drop of milky fluid to emerge from the tip. I
could barely maintain my commitment to not speak,
wanting to shamelessly beg for release. Actually, I did
mutter "please" through clenched teeth in a deep groan.
Laura said that Marty's demeanor seemed to change at
that moment, recognizing that there was a real person
attached to the penis who was suffering intensely under
her control.
After pausing about 30 seconds to let my interrupted
ejaculation subside, and with her hand still gripping
my balls, Laura invited Marty to take the drop of semen
between her fingers to compare its consistency and
slickness to precum, and to taste it.
At first Marty didn't want to taste my semen, but when
she saw Laura put it to her tongue she agreed to try.
But, as the first drop of semen had already been
removed, Laura carefully and firmly gripped my shaft
about mid-length between her thumb and forefinger and
slowly stripped it toward the top, which brought
another small milky drop to the surface. Laura put her
lips around my glans and licked it off, then asked
Marty if she would like to do that. Marty was
emotionally touched by seeing the mouth-to-penis
contact, saying it resembled a tender and affectionate
kiss.
So, Laura stripped my penis again, this time from its
base, and one more drop of semen emerged, which Marty
then took into her mouth by putting her lips around my
glans. If she had not paused for several seconds, the
sensation of her mouth on my penis would have brought
on an uncontrollable eruption of semen. Instead, Marty
learned that, notwithstanding their urgent
protestations, men can survive even the most intense
sexual frustration - even interrupted orgasm at the
moment it begins.
My erection had barely softened at all, since Laura had
so expertly limited the release of semen to only a few
drops. I still had a full load of ejaculate waiting to
be released. For the next several minutes Laura and
Marty were apparently talking to each other, while
gently stroking my penis, which brought it back to full
engorgement. It actually felt like their stroking was
absent-minded, as if their attention was focused on
something else.
The next thing I knew, one of the women (I didn't know
which one at the time) straddled my torso on her hands
and knees. I could feel my penis being rubbed against
wet, hot labia before being guided to the opening of a
vagina. Very slowly, its tip was gently slipped between
her labia and pressed against the opening.
Since I knew well the feeling of Laura's vagina, and
sensing this one was very tight, it was now clear that
my penis was at the vestibule of Marty's vagina - an
immensely erotic realization, heightened by the fact
that I had never seen her nor talked to her. I
understood that, for the benefit of her therapeutic
experience, I must remain completely still, allowing
her to have total control over how quickly and how
deeply I entered her.
Despite a nearly overwhelming urge to thrust my cock
into her, I forced myself to remain motionless,
granting her complete control over what was happening.
After all, I reminded myself, this was therapy, not an
ordinary sexual act.
Later I learned that Laura had invited Marty to
experiment with putting my erect penis to her genitals,
to rub it against her labia, and to let it enter her as
far as she was comfortable. Laura had selflessly
offered to leave the room to give Marty privacy while
she experimented with sexual intercourse for the first
time in her life. But the bond of trust had formed so
strongly between the two women that Marty asked Laura
to stay to provide additional guidance.
I could tell that Marty was fumbling and unfamiliar
with how to guide my penis into her vagina, which was
complicated by the fact of my size. After a few
minutes, I could feel Marty getting off of me and Laura
getting on. Laura expertly guided my penis slowly into
her vagina, apparently demonstrating for Marty how it
is done.
She then slowly moved her body up and down a few times,
deliciously milking my shaft, before settling down as
far as she was able before my penis reached her cervix,
showing Marty about four inches of my shaft remained
outside her vagina. She also pointed out that I did not
attempt to thrust deeper, which could hurt or injure a
woman, and reassured Marty that she could safely let my
penis fill her up without fear of being hurt.
Although Laura and I both wanted to complete my orgasm
immediately, she moved off of my body so Marty could
remount me. I could feel two sets of hands on my penis
as they guided me gently between Marty's outer labia
and into her opening. It took several minutes of slow,
gentle, and intermittent pressure, completely
controlled by her, for my penis to enter her.
As a safety measure for Marty, Laura kept her fist
tightly around my shaft, first allowing only a couple
of inches to enter Marty's vagina at first, then
gradually moving her fist down the shaft to allow more
length to enter. I "hit bottom" with about five inches
of my length still to go (A disadvantage of being
eleven inches long is that I have never felt the
satisfaction of being inserted "to the hilt" - but I'm
not complaining!).
As I remained completely motionless, Marty slowly moved
up and down, sliding my shaft in and out of her nearly
virginal vagina. Once she became comfortable and
confident that I would not thrust and hurt her, Laura
removed her fist so Marty could be in full control of
her first true act of sexual intercourse. She gradually
quickened the pace of her movement and I could sense
that she was approaching orgasm.
Because of the partial ejaculation earlier, my orgasmic
response was dulled, which allowed Marty to have a
complete orgasm before I ejaculated. Through my
earphones I could hear her loud gasps as she climaxed.
At the moment she stopped moving I was again on the
edge of ejaculating. My temptation was immense to
thrust slightly, which would have launched a spasm that
I could not have controlled. But, realizing that this
was an extremely delicate moment in Marty's therapeutic
recovery from rape trauma, I forced myself to remain
motionless.
When her orgasm was complete, Marty relaxed, lowered
her body, laying her chest on mine, with my pulsing
erection still inside, still lodged against her cervix.
For the first time, I could feel the ampleness of her
breasts as they pressed against my chest through the
sheet. I could tell by her body's movements that she
was sobbing. The convulsing of her body while sobbing
nearly caused me to ejaculate, despite my remaining
motionless.
She cried loudly for several minutes, gradually
beginning to speak to Laura about her feelings. All the
while, I stayed completely quiet so she could have all
the time she needed to resolve her emotions and become
ready to move away from me. Indeed, it was her tears of
release and relief that constituted the main
"therapeutic moment" of her experience that day - I
swore to not selfishly interfere with her healing.
After Marty moved off of me, I was again lying with
only my genitals exposed to these two women as they
continued talking. After a while, I felt Laura's
familiar mouth envelope the head of my penis and begin
to caress my glans with her tongue. Then I felt a
different mouth, as Marty did the same. They switched
back and forth several times, as Laura instructed Marty
in the finer points of fellatio.
Again I was approaching orgasm, hoping that this time I
would finally be allowed to have a complete
ejaculation, yet still being unsure what Laura had in
mind as the therapist. When I began to ejaculate, I
realized my time had finally come. I tried to control
the muscular spasms that wracked my body, but wasn't
completely successful - I felt two hands firmly
gripping my exploding penis, preventing it from
thrusting too deeply into my deliverer's throat.
It was Marty's mouth that received my voluminous semen
that had been built up over the past seven hours of
this unique therapy session. I could feel the
tenderness and affection transmitted through her lips
and hands as she gave me the full satisfaction I
yearned for. She seemed to be telling me how much she
appreciated my help. I felt for the first time that she
acknowledged that I was a real human being in the room
with her, not just a set of sex organs representing the
Universal Male.
As I lay exhausted, I was barely aware that the two
women left the room. In a few minutes, Laura returned,
removed the sheet that was over my body, untied me, and
removed the headphones. It felt wonderful to be free to
move my body again. We smiled and kissed as she lay
down beside me.
In that interim, Laura had accompanied Marty to the
door, and they had hugged in a tearful embrace that
perhaps only women can completely understand.
I did not actually meet Marty "in person" for nearly a
year after that experience. Then, last week, I attended
a party held for Laura's graduating class. Laura guided
me to a corner of the room and introduced me to a
beautiful, petite young woman and her male companion.
"Honey, I'd like you to meet my friend Marty. And this
is her boyfriend, Jerry." We exchanged the usual
greetings that accompany such introductions, but with a
special twinkle in our eyes.
Marty and Jerry looked happy together.
END
The author enjoys receiving feedback from appreciative
readers, and ideas for further story development ...
particularly from female readers. Send email to
ddwriter45@yahoo.com. Thanks!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
It's okay to *READ* stories about unprotected sex with
others outside a monogamous relationship. But it isn't
okay to *HAVE* unprotected sex with people other than
a trusted partner. You only have one body per lifetime,
so take good care of it!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Kristen's collection - Directory 25