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Archive name: 3some.txt (MMF, FFM, swingers)
Authors name: Michael (phoenlxarlzona@aol.com)
Story title : A Handy Guide to Threeway Sex
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This work is copyrighted to the author © 2003. Please
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A Handy Guide to Threeway Sex
by Michael (phoenlxarlzona@aol.com)
***
Sorry in advance to the reader for any grammatical errors
or typos, feel free to point them out to me.
***
This article is about swingers, specifically threeway or
Tri-sexual relationships. I have purposely limited myself
to the threeway theme because to try and cover the whole
gambit of sexual swinger combinations would require
writing a book.
MY PERSONAL OPINIONS:
It is my firm belief that when a man looks at a woman he
is always imagining her as a sex partner. This may be a
subconscious act, but it's still happening. The male of
the species was designed to be the aggressive partner in
procreation and genetically he can't help having those
thoughts.
Because the male is the way he is, he will usually be the
instigator in any sexual experimentation, while his
female partner will usually be reticent or negative about
experimenting outside of their monogamous relationship.
Women are genetically designed to nurture, and their
focus was to build a nest to care for the offspring that
their mating has produced.
In this day and age the genetic rule no longer applies
absolutely. Women have a sexual freedom that was unheard
of only 40-years ago. Now there is true equality between
the sexes in bed. Even in birth control.
It is my experience that the partner that instigates
threesome sex is mostly the male. That old gene still
rules a man deep down. The old urge to spread his seed
far and wide makes the male more interested in multiple
sex partners.
HERE ARE SOME FACTS ABOUT THREESOMES:
The average couple looking for a third partner in their
relationship has been together for more than 7 years and
the male has not necessarily been completely faithful to
his female partner in the past.
In a small proportion of couples looking for an
additional partner, the female is the aggressor, (less
than 2%) this is usually because the male is passive in
their relationship and the female craves a more dominate
male sex partner.
Couples who take in a third party usually break up within
3-years of their first experience. This of course is only
slightly higher than the general public that shows that
relationships for couples under 30-years old last no more
than 4.5 years on average.
Statistics that I've compiled imply that over 75% of
threesomes are two females and one male. Think about it.
If the man is usually the instigator; most men want to
have sex with more than one woman, so why would they
chose another guy who would get to use his woman.
A Swingers International article some time ago stated
that the United States had at least 750,000 couples that
"swing" at least once a month. That's a lot of couples.
And out of those couples a good 60% were threesomes.
Threesomes are an ever-increasing life style because when
it works out right it is intense, exciting and safer.
Much more so that partner swapping.
Partner swapping is a fast way to divorce. When you
change partners and have sex, that most intimate feeling
between couples transfers to a new partner, even if for
only a short time. Repeat that experience with the same
person several times and the bond grows even stronger.
Threesomes on the other hand can build a stronger couple
relationship. I say this because a couple can accept a
third person into their bed and share the intensity of
their relationship with him or her without losing the
intimacy between themselves.
HOW I GOT STARTED:
My first threesome was at the age of 19 and I was in the
military. I was stationed in Germany and was having the
time of my life. Our base was outside a decent sized town
and we generally never had to do any field exercises, so
got to go into town just about every night.
I struck up a relationship with one of the girls that did
the GI bar scene and soon began having regular sex. Her
name was Angie and she was a very good-looking girl with
dark hair and brown eyes and a wonderful smile.
One of my buddies was much more aggressive with the women
than I was and was always talking about getting blowjobs
in the park at night, and was always playing one girl
against another to force them to go farther and farther
out on a limp sexually.
He was my roommate at the time and one night I'd headed
back to base early and was in bed and asleep when
sometime later I was woken by someone coming in through
the window of our room. It turned out to be my roommate
and his latest girlfriend.
To make a long story short -- When he found that I was
there, he invited me to join them. Apparently he had
already discussed a threesome with the girl and she'd
agreed in the forlorn hope that he would love her for it.
Looking back I realize how pathetic the situation was but
being 19-years-old my hormones wouldn't allow any other
response than to accept his most generous offer.
That night was the first time I saw another guy screwing
a girl up close, and it was also the first time any other
guy saw me hard, and having sex with a woman. At the time
I felt awkward and embarrassed, but looking back on the
experience the next day I realized it had been more
exciting than anything I'd ever done before, and I never
forgot it.
After that nightlong fuckfest I was always trying to
repeat it. I think that's why I have been in so many
three-way relationships since then.
I've been asked to give you some pointers, to share my
experience, and that is where we're headed now. I don't
think I can justify this type of sexual relationship
other than to say that it is one of the most intense
sexual experiences you'll ever have.
You know what it's like to have sex with your lover; it
is the most intimate act you can perform with another
human being, right? Well times 10 that feeling when
you're in the right threesome. The keyword of coursed
being, "right".
WHY WOULD YOU TAKE A THIRD PERSON INTO YOUR SEXUAL
RELATIONSHIP?
Remember how your sex was when you first hooked up with
your partner? It was intense and satisfying every time.
It was a magical time. Many couples accept that over time
their sexual union will slacken and eventually become
routine.
What if you met a great single guy or girl that you both
really liked? What if you asked them into your bed to
share your loving relationship? Would there be a new
thrill to your sex? Well, would there?
The trick is to know how to ask them to join in and when
it's time to move on, how and when to kiss them good-bye.
Because if your relationship is to survive unscathed a
firm exit strategy has to be agreed on before your even
start.
There are many reasons why a couple will invite another
in to their relationship and I won't try to guess what
yours is. As I've said my reason has always been the
excitement, the feeling of freedom in my relationships
with women and the extra intensity of the sex.
WHO WOULD BE A GOOD CANDIDATE TO TRY THREESOMES?
In short, you would. If you're reading this article you
already must have some interest in trying it out. But
before continuing on we need to weed out those who are
just fantasizing from those who know they will.
You need to be able to accept the following facts of life
about three-ways if you're determined to try it.
1. Some of the time your mate is going to get used by the
opposite sex. Don't expect your lover to only accept
their own gender for your sake. You'll end up having to
share them with someone who looks a lot like you. And
that's a fact.
2. Disease. There are all kinds. I've survived because I
don't sleep around with just anyone. But it is a fear
that pervades the whole experience. You should try to go
with people you've known for a while, and unfortunately
condoms are something that is just a why of life. But
there are some really cool condoms (lambskins for
example) that make the experience just fine if you're
careful.
3. Bisexuality. Sorry but you'll have to get used to that
too. You will now have two lovers, and sometimes one of
them will be your same sex. I never could understand the
guys who think that their women should take to kissing
and fondling each other, but when it was their turn to do
something with another guy they ended up like vestal
virgins, "Not me! No way!"
4. Body fluids and excretions. If you get three people on
a bed having sex there is bound to be messy stuff that
you'll have to taste and feel and rub against. If being
human bothers you, you should look for one of those
plastic doll thingy-mah-bobs.
5. If you're not ready to give as much as your spouse
then you'll end up in big trouble and shouldn't enter
into a threesome. (Unless it is for short-term
gratification, and that of course would make you a jerk.)
Michael (phoenlxarlzona@aol.com)
TALK TO YOU PARTNER FIRST:
First you must discuss the three-way concept with your
partner. He or she must agree to an experimental lesion.
If you're dumb enough to spring it on them your
relationship is headed for the rocks fast.
I suggest bring the subject up first during foreplay.
Once your partner is obviously aroused tell him or her
that you have this reoccurring fantasy about sharing. It
can be right out of the blue and can even increase the
sexual experience just by talking about it. You might
want to pick someone for your "fantasy" you know your
partner likes, a TV personality or movie star, or the hot
neighbor next-door.
If your partner is generally uptight about sharing his or
her body with a third person, my suggestion is to bring
your "fantasy" up most times as part of your foreplay.
Many partners must be talked into to joining in, this is
because most of us have learned from an early age that
our Judeo-Christian society frowns on people who have sex
with more than one person at a time, and that it is
perverted and wrong.
You'll find though, that your partner, over time, will
become used to your "fantasy foreplay" and will begin to
fantasize on their own about a co-worker or a neighbor,
or movie star during your fantasy foreplay. The cool
thing about this approach is that they will begin to
share their fantasies with you so you will be able to
gauge when to take the next step.
All of the above is obvious manipulation of your partner.
There is no other way to put it. But if sexual
experimentation is important enough to you, you'll just
have to stoop to it this once. Once your partner is
onboard, the fun can begin and you can be as
straightforward as you want.
A NOTE CAUTION: Please keep in mind just because you want
a threesome to happen doesn't mean that your partner ever
will. Some people will never want to participate in
something so sexually bazaar and no matter how much you
urge them on, nothing will change their mind.
HOW TO GET STARTED:
Once you and your partner are on the same page it's time
to decide with who and how to go about inviting another
person into your relationship.
As far as a third party goes, I usually look for a
middle-aged man or woman who has been in a long-term
monogamous relationship and has recently become single.
Middle-aged people (40-55) are perfect for a threesome
with a younger couple, they are usually still sexually
healthy, and they haven't been playing around during the
AIDS ridden era and are usually lonely and very grateful
when a younger couple takes them into their bed.
I'm not suggesting that is the only way to go. I have had
many three-ways with people my own age and even younger
than me, it's just the easiest way to get started with a
more willing and pliable third partner.
When broaching the subject with a potential candidate the
best results will be achieved when the man brings the
subject up with the male candidate and likewise the woman
talks to the female candidate. The reasons for this are
different but important.
If a man approaches a woman, the woman will think he's
coming-on to her behind his partner's back. Even if the
man discusses a threesome with his partner sitting beside
him, the female candidate will most likely be too
embarrassed to speak freely.
On the other hand if the female partner discusses the
pleasures of a threesome to the female candidate, all the
residual issues are instantly dissipated, no come-on from
the guy, no misperceived cheating, no male/female
embarrassment.
Same for the man-to-man discussion. If the woman
approaches the male candidate he will always feel in the
back of his mind that she was the initiator, and will
always think she's holding some special feeling for him,
that she chose him over her mate. Men are just built that
way.
The male candidate will always wonder about the male
partner and may even try to break up the relationship and
take the female away. You need to make it plain at the
very instant that the topic comes to life that it was the
man's idea, that he wants to share his woman.
BEFORE GETTING UNDRESSED:
As I mentioned before you do anything, you need a firm
exit strategy. No matter how good that third person might
be for both of you, no matter how exciting it is to share
your lover with another and partake in the third person's
sexuality, if you make them a full time partner, or a
regular without thinking it through, you might find
yourselves in relationship bottom-out.
My suggestion is to always treat each encounter as a one-
time thing. No one expects to have sex with your partner
and you on an ongoing basis and if you tell them that you
just had the urge to bring the person into your bed, it
easy enough to say that it's just a one-time thing.
I also suggest that unless you want a three-way
relationship to become complicated, you should hold your
encounters with the same third person to no more than
three times. After all, you've invited the person into
your union just for the sexual excitement. If you repeat
it too many times with the same three people it could get
just as routine as anything other sex.
There is an exception to this rule. If you're willing to
share your partner with a special friend long-term, then
you become what is known as a tri-sexual relationship.
That of course entails a very special understanding
between the participants that sex and responsibility is a
three-way uninhibited arrangement.
I know a few people who have successfully sustained a
tri-sexual relationship for years, but ultimately this
arrangement ends. The good part is that these people
usually part as friends. What they usually seek out is a
more normal couple relationship.
YOUR FIRST THREESOME:
The first time is the most awkward. Getting naked in
front of your partner and a stranger creates stresses
that you might not have expected. For the male this could
even cause performance problems.
The best way to get started in a new threesome is to just
get naked as fast as possible in a darkened room (not too
dark) and climb into bed with each other. I suggest lying
side by side with the single gender in the middle and
take a few minutes to define your parameters. If you are
experienced swingers with a new inexperienced partner you
should make that person understand that he or she is
subject to both of your attention.
I suggest that the single gender in the threesome be the
one to take the other two through their paces. If the
woman is the single gender she needs to tell both men
that it is their job to please her. She needs to make the
men comfortable with the fact that they are naked and
that their bodies and body parts are going to touch and
be rubbed against by each other during this sexual
encounter.
The same thing applies when there is one man and two
women. It is his job to get his partners comfortable with
acting out in front of him. They need to understand that
he wants them to be comfortable with each other and not
be hung-up about touching and feeling each other.
Note: Women seem to be more at easy with kissing and
touching than men are. Please don't try to push men as
fast as you might be able to women. Everyone must go at
their own pace, just don't be too insistent otherwise the
experience will be ruined.
Once there is a basic understanding and no one has gotten
up in a huff and stalked off, I suggest getting to it.
Start feeling each other.
TWO MEN ONE WOMAN COMBINATION:
In the case of two men and one woman I suggest that to
begin with both men concentrate of the woman, while one
kisses her upper portions the other can concentrate on
her lower extremities. This builds a camaraderie between
the men.
When in a first time in this combination it is proper
etiquette for the couple to let the new man have at the
woman first. This should include penetration, although it
doesn't need to be to completion. This sex act will go a
long way to breaking the ice and dispelling the
awkwardness of the first time together.
Many women don't want to have anal intercourse (Over 70%)
so once the fucking starts one guy either has to sit by
and watch or he can join in. My favorite position when
not plugged in is to have the woman on hands and knees
with the other guy taking her from behind doggy style
while I crawl underneath and play with her clit and his
thrusting cock. Both partners get a real charge out of
this and I can see everything and know just were to
touch, pinch and lick etc.
OH YES, the sooner you get over the hang-up about
touching the same gender partner the better your
threesome sex will be. I personally like sex with women
and have never had intercourse with another man, but in
threesomes I've performed just about every other sex act
with a man.
I can't really explain it, but women seem to really like
watching men doing sexual things to each other. I've seen
the most uptight women become slutty after they've lain
there for a while watching two men sucking each other's
cocks.
I'm not suggesting that any man needs to go that far. I
certainly didn't until I'd been in at least fifteen
threesomes or more. But after a while it just happens,
and it is usually the woman that instigates it.
At the very least don't be squeamish about touching the
other guy, it won't kill you to feel him balls, or to
masturbate him and while he's having sex with the female
partner in your three-way you could enhance his
experience in may imaginative ways and he can return the
favor.
TWO WOMEN ONE MAN COMBINATION:
I will admit that this is my favorite combination. It's
the charge of having sex with a strange woman for the
first time and showing off to my mate. I don't think that
I will ever tire of that experience and besides I really
like the double ride.
Again when starting out for the first time, the man
should be the guide and in the middle. I suggest that he
tell his partners that they should concentrate on him
first. In this combination the female partner in the
couple should do her man first. This lets the other woman
watch and join in when she feels comfortable.
I suggest that doggy style is the best position
especially the first time because both women can easily
get involved. The most intense position for any man in a
three-way with two women is when he's plowing the new
girl with his mate kneeling behind him massaging his
nuts. I can't tell you how good that feels. A little ball
sucking will slow your man down to a stand still, usually
buried deep into his new lover.
I suggest to the experienced male to switch partners as
often as possible. Young men should have little trouble
taking care of two women. After my first one or two cums
I usually can stay hard for the rest of the action
without cumming again. (Unless someone gets really
inventive.) I like this state because after I've cum once
or twice it's the body contact that I enjoy and the
challenge of making my partners orgasm multiple times,
which is quite an accomplishment.
BEING INTUITIVE IS SO IMPORTANT:
In a threesome feelings can be hurt when two of the three
concentrate on each other leaving the third person out.
You always have to be aware of this possibility and try
not to let it happen. It is human nature to pair up but
you have to resist this urge or there will be trouble.
If your partners are into each other for a while and you
are left watching. Enjoy the experience. It's not
everyone that gets to see hot sexual action taking place
right beside you while your naked and aroused. Give your
partners the benefit of the doubt, and hey, why not join
in with a caress or two.
Finally, on the topic of Intuitiveness. Be aware if that
third person is becoming too attached to you or your
partner. It happens, it's human nature to pair up and
that's when it's time to gently break the bond. If you
leave it till it's too late the hurt feelings and
accusations can ruin a good friendship.
BE INVENTIVE:
Here are some things that I've done in three-ways that
might inspire you:
WESSON OIL: Have you and your partner ever had a Wesson
night? Pure corn oil poured onto a vinyl sheet covering
an old mattress in the guest bedroom. Or if you have a
big enough one, your bathtub. There's nothing quite as
erotic as slithering around in oil with two other people.
Guys, you never need to worry about your sex partner
being dry. (Just keep it clean, you're partner doesn't
need a yeast infection from foreign bacteria.)
BEING A KID AGAIN: How about visiting old haunts? When I
got out of the military I went home where I grew up and
it was great fun having three-way sex in places that I
used to play as a kid. One such place was the reservoir
above town, which was THE make out place when I was in
high school.
The difference now was that I was having sex with two
women out in the open in the sun. I even caught a couple
peeking at us once. When I say caught, I really mean that
I knew they were there and I really put on a show for
them. That was fun.
DIRTY DANCING: I've had surreptitious three-ways in
nightclubs where we have done it on a crowded dance
floor, and there have been times when all three of us
visited the restroom in a fancy hotel.
VACATION SEX: I especially like threesomes when on
vacation. That always adds experiences that stay with you
long after the vacation is over.
MAN O MAN SEX: As I've said before, I don't have a
problem putting on a show with another guy for our female
partner. I really don't know why women like seeing to
guys playing with each other but many do. And I've
learned to enjoy being jacked off by another guy while
our pretty female watches us. I really like it when she
tries to direct the action. (I find that I do that to her
when it's my turn to watch her and her female friends.)
BEING PREGNANT: I love variations. I've made it with my
partner and a very pregnant woman and found that very
satisfying. She was a single woman and hadn't had sex for
almost six months. She was a wild ride, and my female
companion really liked her too.
RACIAL FUN: Interracial sex is cool. I'm into any race
and enjoy watching the color and texture combinations
between different people. I once had a threesome with an
exchange student from Nigeria and another exchange
student from Norway. It was amazing to see his black
flesh sink into her. Her completion was almost as white
as you could get and the contrast really turned me on. He
turned out to be a great cocksucker too which I though a
real added bonus.
It is very enjoyable to try out different races. The
variety is endless and the fun is in the individual
differences. Also for newly arrived emigrants you have
the added pleasure of learning new and wonderful
techniques to share with future partners.
THREESOME PHILOSOPHY:
Always start out slow and build up the intensity, pace
yourselves. Always be sensitive to both of your partner's
needs and hang-ups and never force anything. If you care
about the people you're with, they'll care about you too
and the sex will be outstanding.
If you're not a people person, no matter how much you
want to experience a threesome, you won't be successful.
You have to be understanding and forgiving in your
relationships. You also must be able to give as well as
take. There's no way around it, not if you want to be
satisfied and content with your choice.
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Please keep this story, and all erotic stories out of
the hands of children. They should be outside playing
in the sunshine, not thinking about adult situations.
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Kristen's collection - Directory 24