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Archive name: creative.txt (MF, MM, mf, mm, humor)
Authors name: Internet Author (no address)
Story title : Creative Sex

--------------------------------------------------------
This work is copyrighted to the author © 2002.  Please
don't remove the author information or make any changes
to this story.  You may post freely to non-commercial
"free" sites, or in the "free" area of commercial sites.
Thank you for your consideration.
--------------------------------------------------------

Creative Sex (MF, humor)
By Internet Author (no address)

***

1. THE RODEO - Get your girlfriend down on all fours and 
mount her from behind. Then reach around and cup each of 
her breasts in your hands and whisper in her ear, "Boy, 
these feel just like your sister's." Then you try to hold 
on for 8 seconds.

2. THE BOND - Tie your significant other up and blindfold 
him or her. Then invite people over to watch you having 
sex with your helpless partner. They might not like it as 
much as you, but the orgasm is really intense.

3. THE HOOVER - the hoover is performed by mounting your 
partner from behind and kicking out her arms while 
lifting her legs. Proceed to push her around the floor 
like a vacuum cleaner.

4. THE DONKEY PUNCH - *the* classic. It is performed 
while practicing the "doggie style" position. Right 
before climax punch your partner extremely hard in the 
back of her neck. This will cause her to tighten up, 
enhancing your climax.

5. THE FELCH - the felch is performed by placing your 
lips around your partner's butthole and proceeding to 
suck the feces out of it.

6. THE SHOCKER - the shocker is performed by inserting 
one of your fingers into you partner's butthole in a 
rotating manner. Should be done with plenty of 
lubrication. If you're a male, you can also add your 
erect penis to the equation at the same time. After all, 
there are two holes in your female partner.

7. THE CINCINNATI STEAMER - the cincinnati steamer is 
performed by squatting over you partner as she performs 
oral sex on you. Just before orgasm, proceed to defecate 
on her chest. Many girls love this. But some don't, so be 
sure before performing this one.

8. THE RAGING BULL - the raging bull is rather 
complicated. Get a bunch of friends (one with a stop 
watch) and put them in the closet. Then mount your 
partner from behind and proceed with sex "doggie-style". 
Let your friends out of the closet and proceed to hold on 
to your partner as she tries to get you off of her. Any 
ride lasting ten seconds should be considered successful.

9. THE PINKY - the mixture originated in Simsbury, CT. It 
is performed by ejaculating all over the floor. Then, 
have your psycho girlfriend menstruate on your semen. 
Proceed to mix it with your finger until you get a pink 
mixture. Then paint your partner's face with it.

10. THE MANDINGA - also know as the "bowling ball". The 
mandinga is performed by inserting your thumb and middle 
finger into your partner's vagina and butthole, 
respectively. You know if you have performed the mandinga 
correctly if your partner yells "Mandinga"! If she yells, 
"Ow!" you probably did it wrong.

11. THE NOOMSHEBAH - the noomshebah originated in 
Tariffville, LA. It is performed by disrobing yourself 
completely and jumping off a dresser yelling 
"noomshebah". After completing your jump, feel free to 
touch penises with your partner. Best performed by young 
boys.

12. THE BLUMPKIN - a personal favorite. The blumpkin is 
performed while defecating on the royal throne. Have your 
partner give you oral sex as you proceed to relieve 
yourself. If you find a woman who actually gives you 
blumpkin, never, ever talk to her again. She is not 
normal.

13. THE MAINE SPECIAL - liberally apply peanut butter to 
your dick. Then call over the family dog and your sister.

14. THE MUNG - obtain a female that has been dead for 2-3 
days (the time since death is important). Then place your 
mouth just outside her vaginal opening. Have a friend 
jump on her stomach and try to catch as much stuff as 
comes out of the vaginal opening as you can in your 
mouth.

15. THE BOX BOY: - the "box" requires an old refrigerator 
box preferably in someone's secluded back yard. Cut a 
whole in the side facing up, big enough to stick your 
head out of, and then kneel down inside with your head 
through the hole. Your partner can suck your dick while 
you keep watch for any intruders. This works will with 
either a boy or girl cocksucker. Best performed by young 
people who don't have their own place.

16. THE TWO WAY BANG - Of course this takes in the help 
of a friend. Your woman has two holes, so why not fill 
them both? Ask your buddy if he's "UP" for a threesome 
and then surprise your wife late one night. The best time 
for a two way bang is after a big party, make sure wife's 
had a lot to drink.

***

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Please keep this work, and all erotic works out of the 
hands of children. They should be outside playing in 
the sunshine, not thinking about adult situations.

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