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K R I S T E N' S C O L L E C T I O N
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Archive name: bio3.txt (MF, FF, history, supernatural)
Authors name: Lor Oldmann (jamwad@hotmail.com)
Story title : Potted Biographies:
The Witchfinders in General
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This work is copyrighted to the author © 2002. Please
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Potted Biographies: The Witchfinders in General
by Lor Oldmann (jamwad@hotmail.com)
***
Two teenaged girls in the Salem witch trials gave
evidence that they 'rode through the night air on poles'
and did other unchristianlike things like kiss each other
in naughty places and dance naked together. Rebecca West,
the teenaged daughter of a woman on trial for being a
witch in Essex, England, during the Civil War, gave
evidence that 'the devil came to her as she was getting
ready for bed one night and married her' and we all know
what that means. A young man accused of being a wizard in
Bohemia admitted that Satan himself, frequently came to
him in the night and sucked the hell out of him.
These confessions were accepted as damning evidence of
the reality, the presence and the power of witchcraft. In
fact, they were presented by those who stood accused as
proof of their involvement in witchcraft because it was
the common expectation: witches did that sort of thing.
They also floated on water, and melted in fire, and
danced naked around bonfires, and made pacts with Satan,
and had sex with animals, and created havoc by 'magick'
and supernatural enchantment.
As in many other departments of human activities, the
common expectations of witches and witchcraft were as far
from the truth as it is possible to get. For contrary to
popular beliefs, witches do not deal in the supernatural;
the opposite is true: witches are interested only and
entirely with the natural world. Most witches have quite
mundane sex lives, some (like catholic priests) chose to
live celibate lives (with approximately the same strict
adherence to the rules), a few have seriously deviant sex
lives, some are utterly sexless, but for all of them sex
plays no part whatsoever in their witchcraft.
Satan is a character from Jewish-Christian mythology who
has crept into Islam as well; witchcraft has absolutely
no place for Satanism, Satan, the devil, imps out of
hell, or hell itself. The real witch keeps both feet
firmly on the earth. The first rule of witchcraft is
perfectly plain and simple: HARM NONE! And that rule
prohibits even frightening the crap out of anyone!
But, perhaps most importantly, witchcraft is not, never
was and never will be any kind of religion; it is purely
and simply what the name implies: a craft, with the same
sense as the word has in 'craftsmanship', 'needlecraft',
'arts and crafts', 'stonecraft', or any similar
combination.
Consequently, people who claim to be pagans, who
deliberately set out to do hurt or harm to other people,
to purvey supernatural powers by charms and spells, or
who dangle their genitals around a fire, or invite you to
exchange life energies (i.e. to drop your knickers), or
are in communication with spirits (other than gin, rum or
whisky), or indulge in uncontrolled sexual activities,
will generally be found to be fraudsters and charlatans;
THEY MOST CERTAINLY DO NOT REPRESENT ANY GENUINE BRANCH
OF WITCHCRAFT.
The very word 'witch' is derived from an ancient Celtic
form which basically means 'a practitioner of wisdom or
down-to-earth common sense' and has less than nothing in
common with Gerald Gardner's supposed derivation from the
so-called Anglo-Saxon 'wicca'. Which means that a genuine
24-carat witch, in the exercise of her/his witchcraft has
to possess personal qualities other normal, decent,
healthy-minded people can readily recognise and admire.
Not so their detractors. The two monkish gentlemen, Jacob
Sprenger and Henry Kraemer, who composed the
witchfinder's bible, the document known as 'Malleus
Maleficarum' or 'the hammer of the witches', were evil,
filthy-minded little bastards who literally saw Satan
everywhere, especially up little girls' skirts or inside
little boys' breeches. (Monkish or priestly abuse of
children is nothing new!) The pair of them started the
ball rolling by encouraging the secular arm of the law to
burn some thirteen suspected witches including a couple
of Jewish money lenders to whom they owed (in spite of
their sacred vow of poverty) a considerable amount of
readies.
It was pure coincidence that most of the first victims in
Mainz, Cologne and Trier were parents of sweet young
children whom the original witchfinders, out of Christian
charity, took to their beds. This became something of a
rule for good Christians in the Middle Ages: it was all
right to commit adultery, rape or sexually abuse people
suspected of being witches or the children of Satan.
Because, after all, it says in the Bible: "Thou shalt not
suffer a witch to live!" It's there in the book; look it
up in Exodus 22 at verse 18.
No one ever bothered much with the fact that it is as
gross a mistranslation as it is possible to get. But who
cares? Burn the buggers! It was something more than mere
coincidence that their students had appropriate nicknames
for their mentors: Sprenger they called 'the Banger' and
to Kraemer (also known as Institoris) they gave the
appellation 'the pedlar'.
The real prototype seriously dangerous witch hunters,
however, were the Spanish lunatics, Tomas de Torquemada,
and his uncle, the cardinal Juan. The pair were nothing
short of homicidal (and homosexual) maniacs in clerical
clothing. The uncle was aggressively and sadistically
nice to young nephews (and other boys) who were left in
his care, and had an unholy taste for angelic faced
little catholic choirboys who strayed from the straight
and narrow or took part in some naughtiness that could be
interpreted as heretical (that is, witchy) and had to be
severely punished. Tomas preferred sexual liaison with
fully-grown, dusky skinned, Moorish men with rippling,
sinewy muscles who could be reduced to quivering
obeisance on the rack. Tomas also had a habit, picked up
from his uncle, of baying at the full moon.
The pair of them confused Hakabbalah (the mystical
interpretation of the Hebrew Bible and Jewish
metaphysical lore) with witchcraft and hence with heresy.
And they seriously believed that every Jew (even one who
had converted to Christianity) was a Kabbalist and hence
a witch.
Consequently, between them, they rid Spain and Portugal
of its considerable Jewish population, and in the process
removed all the pharmacists, physicians and surgeons in
the two countries, most of the teachers, lawyers,
astronomers and mathematicians, merchants and craftsmen,
and then wondered what the hell had gone wrong with the
Iberian peninsula. Together they accounted for more than
two thousand deaths by burning and in their
interrogations perpetrated several thousand homosexual
rapes apiece. And there are those who are still trying to
get the Pope to canonise the evil bastards!
The two most famous English witchfinders were Matthew
Hopkins, the son of a mad vicar who confined his wife to
an outhouse after she was found to pregnant, and John
Stearne who, in his mid-thirties, was ten years older
than his colleague, but had the emotional quotient of a
twelve year old. It was one of those freakish
relationships; both men were sadistic, and both were
puritan religious zealots with heterosexual hang-ups: the
older man was a paedophile, while Hopkins got his sexual
highs from seeing naked old women tormented and tortured.
Both men had themselves been sexually abused as children,
Stearne by his father and Hopkins by a mother driven
crazy in her isolation.
The notorious English witch hunts started when a rather
simple tailor in Manningtree, Essex, complained that a
neighbour, an ancient crone called Elizabeth Clarke, had
bewitched his wife so that she had a headache every
night! Hopkins and Stearne had no reason to be present at
the initial interrogation, but they were, and they while
they certainly had no official authority, they
volunteered to take charge. They kept watch over the
naked old woman for three days to see if Satan or one of
his familiars would come to her rescue, and when nothing
happened other than that the old woman fouled herself
several times, they decided that her case was worse that
they thought for she was a self-contained witch, the
worst type, and had her hanged.
Next they turned to an acquaintance of Clarke's in the
next village. This time both perverts were satisfied, for
Ann West at fifty-five suffered from senility and she had
a pretty, albeit equally stupid, thirteen year old
daughter, both of whom they stripped and 'watched' until
the old woman confessed to dabbling in the craft of
witches and the girl to having been raped by the devil.
It is almost certain that the young teenager gave a
practical demonstration of what the devil is supposed to
have done to her to Stearne while Hopkins 'was satisfied'
with the 'examination and confession' of the naked old
woman.
Stearne and Hopkins did not invent the strip search as an
acceptable part of normal investigations of witches; that
was one of the major contributions of Messrs. Kraemer and
Sprenger. Stearne and Hopkins, however, made it an art
form, where the body of the accused was minutely
scrutinised for specific indications of some kind of
sexual intercourse with demonic creatures. The favourite
sign was an inflamed third breast or unnatural teats or
follicles, but love bites from 'demons' were also sought
around the neck, breasts and pudenda.
There were remarkably few able-bodies males, capable of
delivering a hefty thump to the jaw of the accusers,
charged with witchcraft in seventeenth century England.
Men who were accused were invariably pathetic specimens,
crippled, soft in the head or weak in body and in poor
health. These males were usually lynched by the mob,
often for daring to question the whole business of witch
hunting or trying to defend the silly old females who
were being persecuted.
Witches were never burned in England (or the American
colonies) as they were on the continent of Europe.
Instead they were hanged after being subjected to sense
deprivation, physical torture and (very often) sexual
assault. A favourite amusement was the 'swimming' of
witches: a kind of trial by ordeal in which the witch was
thrown, often bound and naked, into a deep pool. If the
victim drowned it was proof of innocence, if she floated
or swam, it was indisputable evidence of her guilt.
Popular legend has it that both English witch hunters
received their due comeuppance: it is related that
Hopkins himself was accused of witchcraft, tested
according to his own rules and found wanting, and was
hung, while Stearne was haunted by ghostly apparitions to
such an extent that he went crazy and committed suicide.
Part of the Stearne myth involves the appearance of
ghostly children who were tortured, raped and mutilated
by him in life. Neither story has any real substance, for
both horrible pass into obscurity. It has been suggested
that the younger man died of tuberculosis or pleurisy,
both of which were common in 17th. century England.
Nothing authentic is known of Stearne's demise.
The most famous witch trials in history were conducted in
Salem, Mas. in 1692. As a result of this scandalous
travesty of natural justice, almost 200 individuals were
interrogated, examined and humiliated in public, 140 or
more were actually arrested, 19 were hanged publicly,
four females died in prison, and one old man was crushed
to death under a wooden door on which rocks had been
piled. In addition to this, there were at least two
miscarriages by pregnant women, two suicides that can be
attributed positively to the proceedings, another two
premature deaths from coronaries, and two young girls who
survived by becoming pregnant by their accusers.
The central figures in this tragic farce were Samuel
Parris, Jonathan Corwin and John Hathorne. Parris was
appointed minister of the local congregation although he
had no theological or pastoral training and despite the
fact that the qualifications he claimed to fit him for
the job were patently false and could quite easily have
been seen to be so at that time. Similarly, the two men
who were magistrates in Salem, Corwin and Hathorne,
occupied their positions under false pretences.
The three men had this is common: they were rank
hypocrites who preached temperance, but were extremely
fond of their tipple, rum in the case of Parris, claret
or kind of rough cider for the other two, and all three
were rather partial to female flesh, preferably young and
pretty. All three had been involved in incestuous
relationships with sisters, daughters, aunts or cousins.
Samuel Parris had been variously a tally clerk,
plantation foreman promoted to under-manager, and a
small-time merchant. When he appeared in Salem he was
accompanied by two slaves, one at least of whom was his
concubine, his nine year old daughter Elizabeth or Betty,
and an eleven year old niece called Abigail.
Life in Salem was much more restricted and strait-laced
than the 'high time to be had by all' of Barbados, and
Samuel, addicted to sexual gratification in any form,
found the field narrowed down to his two black 'slaves'
(one of whom was getting past it), and the two girls. He
occasionally visited Boston and a town several miles in
the opposite direction which was notorious for its low
morals and loose living inhabitants. (Refer to the book
'The Devil's Music')
The minister of the local church left (or died) and
Parris applied for the job, was interviewed, produced the
necessary credentials and was appointed to the vacancy.
It was shortly after this that Betty, then Abigail, began
to act in a most peculiar manner, almost certainly as a
kind of protest against being knocked up twice weekly by
the reverend gentleman. After all, it would never do for
a respected minister of religion to be found in a whore
house in Boston.
"Join the club!" exclaimed Tituba, the younger of the
slaves. And the two girls did just that. How else could
they make their protest? Later they were joined by other
girls who were being fucked by fathers, bedded by big
brothers, and undone by uncles. All the signs are there
to read in the evidence given by the girls at the
investigation conducted by two of the worst offenders in
town: Corwin and Hathorne (or Hawthorn). Riding on poles?
Albumen floating on water? Extraordinary use of wax
candles? The devil appearing as a raging bull? Or a horny
hog? A mad dog? Or demons climbing into bed beside the
accused!
If ever there was a case of communal sex abuse screaming
for some sort of responsible action, this certainly was
it. Corwin and Hathorne (the name in the 17th century was
pronounced like 'horn' or 'whoring') took it as their
right of office to examine (in elaborate detail) all the
young girls involved in the case; the examination of the
older women and the few men arraig!
ned was largely left to others.
Tituba was tortured and raped by the two magistrates and
several other girls were almost certainly subjected to
sexual abuse, probably fellatio, by them. Some others
girls who were picked up as a routine measure were
unaccountably released after supplying favours along with
their testimony. There were at least two resignations
from the tribunal set up in the town to investigate the
alleged incidence of witchcraft. These resignations came
from pious men who had become disillusioned and disgusted
by the behaviour of the two magistrates towards the
younger girls among those accused.
It is doubtful if there was ever a more marked contrast
than that between the witches throughout history and
their persecutors. No doubt there were renegade witches,
just as there were criminals and rogues in every other
walk of life, but these were the exceptions. The kind of
thing witches did was to brew herbal remedies to ease old
wives' rheumatism or to rub on the chest of a sleepless
child who had a cough. They may have had a sideline in
philtres, but most of the people who made these love
potions in the Middle Ages were licensed pharmacists or
clerics who also dealt in hallucinogenic drugs and
poisons, or by exponents of Voodoo, which is nothing at
all to do with witchcraft.
Because of the peculiar nature of witchcraft, there were
few genuine written records of their activities; almost
all the written material is by their detractors. But not
a single word, line or sentence of anything committed to
writing by witches would be considered offensive or
threatening in any way by any modern standard.
The witch hunters, by contrast, were raving, fanatical
lunatics, judged by the same standards, who fulminated,
fornicated, lied, robbed, tortured, and murdered in the
name and for the sake of religion. To all intents and
purposes they were saying to the world at large: my
mythology is better than yours - conform to mine or die!
But first I'll have my bit of fun with you!
END
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Please keep this story, and all erotic stories out of
the hands of children. They should be outside playing
in the sunshine, not thinking about adult situations.
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